All language subtitles for Hap and Leonard S01E04 Trudy

[Nick Garrie's "stone and silk"]

♪

♪ Golden threads of silk

♪ flow through my fingers

♪

♪ Istanbul lay smoldering
in the night ♪

♪

♪ Black waters murmured

♪ I felt so still

♪

♪ Turquoise evening merged
through ice blue morning ♪

[bird chirping]

♪ Centuries of stone
stared into silence ♪

♪

♪ I felt the wind

♪ I heard girls sing

Come on.

It's time to be a bird.

Go on.

[bird chirping]

Come on, get.

You got your whole life
ahead of you.

[bird chirping]

[bird continues chirping]

[dark music]

♪

[bird chirping]

[bird silences]

[bird drops]

[drain gurgles]

[dark music]

♪

We didn't intend to cut you out.

There wasn't enough money
to go around.

And this...

Wasn't what we banked on.

So this is plan b.

And whose plan is that?

We made a pact.

There wasn't enough money
for our needs.

We'd have to appropriate
your share.

Howard says it's just
a matter of priorities.

Huh. Oh, for a minute there,

I thought we were just
getting screwed.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

You want to keep that good eye,
keep your hand off my shit.

Shut up!

Does Trudy know about this?

It's not personal, hap.

Oh, good, good.

What is it, then?

Sacrifice.

[dramatic percussive music]

♪

Speed it up.

At this rate,
we'll be here all night.

Come on.

Who the hell
buries money anyway?

Y'all been reading
too many damn caper books.

With all these cops around,
it's called being smart.

Maybe you two ought to
try it some time.

If you're so smart,

Why are you burying this
in front of us?

[chuckles]

- Hey!
- Hey, hey, hey.

It's an awful lot of
rough housing for a peacenik.

Now, look, you had that coming.

Ow.

Look, I never said
I was against violence.

Sometimes the ends
justify the means.

All right?

So why don't you come over
here and try that on me?

Shove that gun so far
up your ass

You's taste gunpowder.

Come on!

Chub,

Put the box in the hole.

Go ahead. I got it.

All right, Leonard.

You fill it in.

Pretend it's a rose bush
or something,

Whatever the hell you two do
for work...

- They got fired.
- All right.

Whatever... you know,
whatever you did for work.

So this how y'all do, huh?

All peaceful-like.

Get your gun up.

Hey.

Look like you gonna
have to use that thing, Howard.

Ever kill a man before?

I did.

Paco, fill it in.

These fellers have stepped
in the wrong pile of shit.

Let's not rub it in.

They've been riding me
since they got here.

If I'd have known
I was coming...

Hey.

[gun clicks]

I'd have ridden you a hell of
a lot harder.

This is everything.

This is... this is the total.

The rest is unusable.

Well, it's... It's not enough.

If we're smart about things,
efficient,

No more mistakes
from here on out.

Y'all already made one mistake:

Pissing me off!

You gonna use that, chub?

Just let us do our thing.
We'll let you go.

Howard doesn't want anybody
to know about us yet.

You ain't got to worry
about me telling nobody.

No, sir.

Think I want the world to know
I got suckered

By a bunch of idiots?

What is this thing?

You zip it, chub.

Not supposed to say.

Come on.

Who we gonna tell, the couch?

We're gonna buy some drugs.

Oh.

What, like, like grass?

- Uh-uh, cocaine.
- Cocaine?

- Chub!
- Chub!

You stupid shit.

All right, okay.

What the hell does
buying cocaine

Have to do with making
a difference to this world, huh?

That wasn't part of
the big pitch you sold me.

If we're gonna launch
a sustainable movement,

We need sustainable income.

They're gonna use cocaine
to fund their cause.

How do you think the mechanics
survived as long as we did?

By selling sweet Mary Jane
to college students.

Cocaine's a bit different.

- Don't you think?
- Exactly.

Who buys cocaine?
Cokeheads, mostly.

People who can afford it.

It's a luxury drug.

Consider us a luxury tax.

We're gonna take it
from the rich,

And we're gonna use it
to help the people that need it.

Like Robin hood.

Last I remember, little John
didn't have no pager.

Y'all just a bunch of goddamn
drug dealers.

No, no, we use the system
to beat the system,

And then we change the system.

You can beat my meat and
preach about the system

And the seals all you want...

Who said anything
about the seals?

What's with the seals?
Why does he keep saying that?

Whales, elephants, whatever.

You know what happens
to drug dealers, hmm?

They end up in prison
or in a ditch

With a bullet in the head.

Actually, that don't sound
like a bad idea.

Paco's done this before.

He's got the connections.

Yeah, look at him now.

They handle the traffic.
We handle the income.

We stay clean.

Yeah, and then we
have the power.

[chuckles] power?

You lost your drawers
in the swamp.

What the hell you gonna do
with any damn power?

What makes you think we need
an economics lesson

From two out-of-work
field hands?

Technically, we're rosarians,
not field hands.

You two ain't thought
this shit out, did you?

Ignore him, Trudy.

You might have saved
a couple of lives,

But you're gonna ruin
a bunch more.

Think them drugs just gonna
reach the hands

Of some Hollywood big shot
or up the nose

Of some wall street scumbag?

They're gonna end up
on the street

In the hands of some kids
don't even know

What they hell they doing.

Don't listen to him.

He's just being derisive.

- Oh, that's a big word...
- Quiet.

For such a little asshole
to fart.

All right, that's enough.

That was impressive.

You rehearse that?

Nice girlfriend you got there.

Got more faces than a diamond.

Okay.

I admit that.

That took me by surprise.

And here we are,

Gun in face,
duct-taped to a chair.

Mm, mm, mm.

Glider.

What?

- It's a glider.
- It's my damn porch.

I know what it is. Just saying.

You said enough,
talking me into this mess.

- My nose itches.
- I don't care.

[somber instrumental music]

♪

♪

[sniffs]

Oh, shit.

Shit.

[sniffs]

[yells] [glass shattering]

♪

Maybe we didn't
think this through enough.

It's a little late to start
second-guessing ourselves.

I thought this was
what we wanted.

Of course it is, babe.

Of course.

I just want us to stay sharp.

We've never done anything
like this before.

Paco has.

What if they're right?

Don't let them get to you.

We have to play the game
if we're gonna survive.

I'm not letting anyone
get to me.

I'm just asking.

All right.

Is this who we are?

It's like you say.

"The right path isn't
always the easy one."

[door opens]

I didn't know it was
gonna turn out like this, guys.

I feel terrible.

I'm really sorry,
for what it's worth.

Do you want anything?

I want to take back
saving your fat ass

In the swamp.

They don't respect you.
You know that, right?

They see you, they see a
walking, talking pork chop,

Same as us.

Only thing, they ain't gonna
slaughter you

Like they gonna do us.

I'm not gonna let that happen.

I understand your anger.

You could never understand
my anger.

Chub.

Are we getting out of here?

Howard said that he...

He'll drop you guys off
at the state line tomorrow

After we meet paco's guy.

Chub.

Inside.

[door opens, shuts]

[snoring]

[relaxed guitar music]

♪

Dear hap,

It's been awhile.

I know.

I keep meaning to visit, but...

I never have been great at life.

I think of you often, though,
you in there,

Making a difference, dedicated.

And me, out here,

It's quiet, hap.

I keep thinking it'll
get easier,

But then I remember,
that's not how the world works.

And I'm never one to sit still,
so I've decided

To do something about it,
to try and make a difference

Of my own.

I've moved to San Francisco.

It's a long way,
but it really is for the best,

For me, for the cause.

I've joined a group of people
out here.

We March and protest
against the war,

Like we used to do.

Feels good, you know,
to be a part of something.

You know what they say.

Some things are just meant
to be.

I've told them about you
and what you're doing

To make a stand.

I'm so proud of you, honey.

I love you.

Always did, always will.

Trudy.

You smoke now too, huh?

Boy, you are just
full of surprises.

Only when I'm nervous.

Oh, you are.
Hey, it could be worse.

You could be duct-taped
to a glider.

Want to tell me what's going on?

I would if I thought it would
make you feel better.

Not too late
to change your mind.

Call it off.

Let us go.

Take your share and run away.

You've done it before.

I'm done running.

This is my chance.
I'm taking it.

No matter who it hurts?

I gave you every opportunity
to be a part of this.

You made your choice.

Somebody always gets hurt, hap.

This time, the greater good
will win out.

Greater good?

There was a time when

That meant protesting
against wars

And marching for equality,
not this.

You remember those two monks
who set themselves on fire

To protest the war?

Mm.

I want that kind of dedication.

Oh, they were dedicated,
all right.

They also got burned up.

I need to believe in something.

I've done a lot of things
in my life.

I've failed at almost
all of them.

I don't have another
failure in me, hap.

Even if it means this?

Try and get some sleep.

[snoring]

About time you woke up.

We on speaking terms
again, then?

[snoring]

He came out here
over an hour ago.

Howard told him
to keep an eye on us.

[snoring]

Doing a pretty shitty job of it.

You think?

Let's go.

Go? Where?

Let's get out of here.

How?

Get on your feet.

We're gonna walk this thing
out to the woods

And get it off us.

Make a run for it.

- You crazy?
- You got a better idea?

Shouldn't we have
done this last night?

I didn't think of it last night.

Now, come on. You with me?

Okay.

On three.

One, two, three.

[suspenseful music]

♪

Shh, shh, shh.

[whispering indistinctly]

You're going too fast.

We're going too fast.

You shut up.

♪

Just give me five. Give me five.

Come on, now we're
making progress.

Ready? Let's go.

Yeah, come on.

Could we just slow down?

You're tripping on my toes.

Bitch, bitch, bitch.

Stepping on my damn corn.

- Just slow down.
- We ain't going slower.

We're going backwards.

Come on, this ain't so hard,
is it?

Looks pretty damn hard to me.

Now, do you fellas think you can

Make it back to the porch
without falling?

Oh, come on.

Going.

[country rock music]

♪

Well, I'm afraid you boys
are coming with us.

After your great escape
this morning,

I can't exactly leave you
here with chub, can I?

Cut 'em loose.

Come on, chub.

Thought I told you
to keep that thing on a leash.

Does that mean
we're not friends anymore?

[dog barking]

Trudy!

[tense music]

♪

Trudy, come on.

♪

[Van door closes]

♪

One good bounce, you'll blow
your pecker straight off.

[chuckles]

You're like a real bandito now.

Just shut up.

You've already gotten me
in enough trouble.

My heart bleeds.

Shut up, all of you.

Who's got the money?

I do, some of it.

What do you mean, some of it?

Look, Trudy and I
talked it over.

We're taking 5,000 as a deposit.

A deposit?

We're not going
to a goddamn bank.

This guy's expecting the money,

All of it, up front.

That was the deal.

We have to know
we can trust him.

We have the money.

If they want to make the deal,
we can get the rest.

Dealers ain't exactly
the kind of people

You want to get cute with.

We got to go back.
We got to get the money.

No, no, we're doing it this way.

If it's not good for you,
we can turn around

And forget the whole thing.

We're driving
into a shitstorm, Howard.

[dark music]

♪

What the hell is that?

She's our gang.

Come on, let's move.

♪

How you doing?

Hey.

[dark music]

♪

Hey, the revolutionaries.

Que pasa?

How the hell are you?
Well, we're here.

We're all right, man.
We're all right.

How are you?

What is with salt and pepper?

Huh?

They helped us find the money,

Wasn't gonna cut them loose
just yet.

- So you brought them along?
- Mm-hmm.

I love it.

Yeah, hey, I'm Howard, man.

I know who you are.

You're the nerd or the Professor
or some shit.

Well, that's actually...

And he's the self-help
gentle fellow.

I met her at the diner.

You look even lovelier
out of your uniform.

And then she was married
to salt, right?

That's hap.

And then there's your jig.

- Leonard, yeah.
- Yeah, that's right.

So we... we'd like to...
I'd like to deal quickly.

Of course.
Yeah, of course you would.

But first, let me intro...
Well, ladies first.

That shapely piece of meat
is angel.

My name's soldier.
Remember that.

In case things don't go down
the way you like,

You can come to me,
and you can say,

"soldier, I'm not happy
with the things went."

And then I can say,
"tough shit."

[laughs]

"Tough shit," I'll say
right to you.

Okay, but enough
of the pleasantries.

Who's got the money?

This was a bad idea.

Paco, what is her name again?

That's Trudy.

Okay, so who's
running things here?

You know, if you let her
talk like that,

I don't know, pretty soon
the nig will be calling shots.

Chaos.

Well, excuse me, Mr. Soldier,
his name's Leonard.

You can call him anything
that you'd like.

I do know a nigger
when I see one.

Hey, wait a minute, now.

Sir? Sir?

Hating a person because
the color of their skin

Is not gonna get
anything solved.

- Shut up, chub.
- Who's...

You can't talk about someone
'cause the color of their skin.

Who asked that to make sounds?

Well, not everybody agrees
with the way he...

Hey, hey,
we'll talk about it later.

But he used the n word.

- We'll talk about it later.
- No, come on, now.

Not everybody agrees with you.

Not now, chub.

No, you hold on a second.

Just because he's black... he's
not allowed to use that word.

Chub.

[gunshot]

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

♪

Ow! Hey, hey, hey.

Anybody shit their pants?

I almost did right there.

Paco, you really
caught me off-guard.

Paco, we had a plan.

Wasn't much of a plan,
was it, genius?

You made a mistake when you
trusted a man

Who burned his own face off,
I think.

But no, there is no drug deal.
There's no drugs.

There's just paco talking to me
about the easy money

Y'all were gonna find.

Easy, my ass.

[chuckles]

Thought I was gonna die
of old age

Waiting for you guys to find it.

Paco, you're a piece of shit.

Shh.

I do like to hear myself
as I'm speaking.

And shit is... it's a little
harsh.

I mean, it's more like a
scrunched up piece of...

What do they wrap candy in,
baby?

Cellophane, innit?

That's the stuff your face
looks like, paco.

Yeah.

I mean, no offense.

Fire will do that to a face.

It's normal.

And you should stop pretending

Like you're so noble.

Where's all that '60s
free love shit now?

You get a little taste of money,
and you screwed over

The first two dudes you could,
and now I'm gonna

Screw you over, so...

Bet that makes you two feel
a little bit better.

Lenny? Just a shade?

Even better if you
shot him in the foot.

Hey!

I like that.

[tense music]

You're cool.

Ain't he cool, babe? He's cool.

[gunshot]

Aah! Aah!

[screams]

That's just to let you guys know
I am a serious kind of guy.

And now I would like
to collect the money,

So who... Who's holding?

♪

[gun cocks]

We had a deal. We had a deal.

There is no deal.

There's... the only deal
is you don't give me

What I want, then I blow
your brains across the wall,

And then I'll move down,
and I'll get

The black gentleman,
and then I'll end with her,

And I will just spray those
titties all over this room.

♪

They didn't bring it.

What did you say?

There is money. I saw it.

$5,000.

I...I have $5,000.

We brought a deposit,
a down payment.

A down payment.

Am I a realtor?

We were being cautious.

All right. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

So you're just not as stupid
as I thought.

Where is the rest of the money?

They buried it at
Leonard's place.

I know exactly where it is.

♪

Okay, well, I like that.

♪

So here's what we'll do.

We'll, uh...

You're gonna go fix...
You're gonna fix his foot.

And then we will all get
the rest of the money together.

Turn around.

♪

Angel, baby, I am starting
to like these folks.

Howie, come on.

Keep walking.

That's radical.

Keep walking, in the back.

Holy... toys.

- Hap.
- Uh-huh?

Tell me about the beach
with them drinks

With the little umbrellas
in them again.

Going on a field trip.

It's warm in here. It's stuffy.

This is a real piece of shit
Van you brought, Professor.

Oh, it's hot.

[sighs]

Hey, girl... what is her
name again?

- Trudy.
- That's right.

Tell me, which one of these
three desperados

Are you spreading your fine
little gams for?

My guess, my guess, whoever has

The biggest ankle spanker,
am I right?

Well, guess what?

Size is not all it's
cranked up to be.

Isn't that right, baby?

- That's right.
- Yeah, see?

Average depth of the
vaginal canal is only 6 inches.

So I figure whatever
doesn't fit in,

You're wasting it.

It's waste.
Ain't that true, baby?

- Yeah, that's true.
- Yeah.

Most women, they go
for the gusto.

They want the big salami
even though it's mostly

Just pumping air.

I don't know, I guess it's
the as...

- Aesthetics.
- That's the stuff.

Very American, very Texas,
very...

Bigger is better.

So tell me, doodle, you banging
this handsome buck, hmm?

Because we all know nubian
brothers are hung like rhinos.

Guess again.
He's a fudge packer.

What? Are you messing with me?

You're messing with me.

Well, you don't look gay.

Bend over.

I'll show you.

Easy.

It's good. That's funny.

He's funny. He's a funny bunny.

I like him.

Isn't he funny, baby?

He's funny.

So then what about
happy man here?

Is he...

Do not tell me he's
a toot shooter too.

Nope, he's so damn straight,
he's got a padlock

Up his asshole.

They're friends.

Well, ain't that special.

A story I'd like
to hear someday,

But for now, which one
of these two gentlemen

Are you porking, then, trudes?

Both. [Chuckles]

Oh, that is phenomenal.

That is truly generous.

That is so kind.
What about you, paco?

Is she giving you a little
something?

She help you out with
a little Southern comfort?

No, of course not.

And it's probably because
of the face.

Well, it sounds like you folks
are having a good ol'

Time at the ranch.

Me and angel, we don't...
We're not...

She's a one-man woman.

And she's enough woman
for any man,

Ain't that right, sugar plum?

That's right.

Oh, baby.

Hey, happy.
How'd you like to bang that?

I'll tell you,
it is... it is quite a ride.

It's fun.

It's also very dangerous.

Look at her shoulders.

Bitch has a snatch
like a bear trap.

She'll tear your dick right off.

She'll tear it clean off
if she wants to, gone.

Not Trudy, though.

No way, she's very,
very different.

I bet she's all soft
and warm on the inside,

Taffy-like, like dropping
into a hot chicken pot pie.

You asshole.

[tense music]

What?

♪

Thought so.

I'm not afraid of you.

Go ahead, shoot me.

Make you feel like a big man.

Shut up!

He'll do it.

He's gonna do it anyway.

I won't give him the
satisfaction of being scared.

♪

Look, please, ignore her.

She's always been a little
unstable and...

She doesn't know
what she's saying.

Sounds to me like she knows
exactly what she's saying.

No, she doesn't... look,
I don't feel that way.

And I can see that
you're a business man, right?

I can see that.

And what I can also see
is that you're a reasonable...

Howie, come on, she's...

[sighs]

She has more balls than
you will ever have.

She's got balls so big,
I bet Lenny wants a piece.

Lenny?

You get it?

We got the cops.

So what? I love cops.

Let's go.

[police radio chatter]

[tense country music]

♪

How y'all doing?

Hey, officer,
my buddy caught his...

Sir, please slow down.

He caught his toe
in a drill press.

I'm just taking him
to the hospital.

You all right, sir?

Okay, yeah, I'm good.

Buddy.

We'll get you some help.

Everything all right, Bobby?

Yeah, I think so.

Can you get back in the front
of the car please, sir?

Of course.

Have any ID on you?

Of course.

Something happen?

No, nothing happened.

Just a routine stop.

Sir?

Thank you, sir.

Can I have your license
and registration please, sir?

Please take your hood down, sir.

Thank you.

Industrial accident,
factory fire.

That sweet bastard went back
inside to save a cat.

Cat made it out fine.

I need to see everybody's
ID, please.

Here you go, officer.

[screaming]

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

♪

Essential, baby.

Essential.

All right, now officer Bob
was a polite fellow.

How are you, Jimmy?

Okay, you're a family man.
I like that.

And those are some handsome
kids.

Please...

Huh?

What, this?

Please...

Well, if you insist.

[screaming]

♪