All language subtitles for The Comeback s01e12 Valerie Shines Under Stress

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:18,400 ( tone sounds ) 2 00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:23,734 DON'T GO AWAY-- "THE COMEBACK" WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 3 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,266 - HOW WAS THAT? - Jane: GREAT. 4 00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:27,633 - LET'S MOVE ON. - I THINK IT COULD BE BETTER. 5 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:30,867 IF SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME AND EFFORT TO WRITE THIS. 6 00:00:30,934 --> 00:00:33,734 SO, JUST WANNA GET IT RIGHT. HONOR THE WORDS. 7 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,433 OKAY, I'M GONNA GO AGAIN. 8 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,967 ALL RIGHT. ( clears throat ) 9 00:00:38,033 --> 00:00:41,500 DON'T GO AWAY-- "THE COMEBACK" WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 10 00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,033 BETTER. RIGHT? 11 00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,100 JUST PLAY WITH IT. GOOD. 12 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:46,734 IT'S SO EXCITING, JANE. 13 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,166 IT FEELS SO REAL NOW. WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO BE ON THE AIR. 14 00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:50,834 - HERE WE GO. - UH-HUH, YEAH. 15 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,100 - 'CAUSE THIS IS IT. IT'S HAPPENING. - HOT WATER AND LEMON. 16 00:00:53,166 --> 00:00:54,500 AH, THANK YOU, DOLL. 17 00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:57,133 HOT WATER AND LEMON, IT'S REAL IMPORTANT FOR THE THROAT. 18 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,800 SOOTHING. 19 00:00:59,867 --> 00:01:02,633 MM, YEAH. MUCH BETTER. THANKS. 20 00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,834 Jane: DO YOU WANT TO DO THE NARRATIVE ONES NOW? 21 00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:06,700 - MM-HMM, SURE. - DO YOU SEE THEM? 22 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,467 - THAT'S-- OH, OKAY. - JUST TAKE IT FROM THE FIRST ONE AT THE TOP. 23 00:01:09,533 --> 00:01:12,200 - SEE IT? - WELL... 24 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:14,600 "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D WORK AGAIN"? 25 00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:16,166 I DON'T THINK... 26 00:01:16,233 --> 00:01:18,367 Jane: IT'S JUST SOMETHING PEOPLE SAY. 27 00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:20,367 THEY PROBABLY WON'T EVEN USE IT. 28 00:01:20,433 --> 00:01:22,433 WELL, THEN THEY WON'T USE IT. 29 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,967 'CAUSE IT'S NOT SOMETHING I SAY. 30 00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:27,367 LET'S JUST NOT RECORD THAT ONE. 31 00:01:27,433 --> 00:01:30,200 - YEAH, THAT'S FINE. - YEAH, IT'S BETTER. BECAUSE IF I RECORD 32 00:01:30,266 --> 00:01:33,300 "I NEVER THOUGHT I'D WORK AGAIN," THEY'RE GONNA USE IT. 33 00:01:33,367 --> 00:01:36,433 IT WOULD BE FOOLISH NOT TO, 'CAUSE IT CREATES STAKES AND DRAMA. 34 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:39,066 THAT'S NOT... YEAH. 35 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,033 OKAY, WE'LL JUST MOVE ON. 36 00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:43,567 BECAUSE TRUTH BE TOLD I ALWAYS THOUGHT I'D WORK AGAIN. 37 00:01:43,633 --> 00:01:45,367 YOU KNOW, ALWAYS DID. 38 00:01:45,433 --> 00:01:47,300 'CAUSE I'M A SURVIVOR. 39 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:49,633 I KNOW WHAT THE NEXT-- OH! SPEAKING OF THAT! 40 00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:51,900 MICKEY AND I, WE WERE THINKING ABOUT 41 00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:54,033 WHAT WOULD BE A GOOD THEME SONG FOR "THE COMEBACK" 42 00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,834 I KNOW WHAT THEY HAD PLANNED 43 00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:58,900 OR YOU HAD PLANNED, BUT WE HAD THE BEST IDEA. MICKEY. 44 00:01:58,967 --> 00:02:02,567 "I WILL SURVIVE" BY MISS GLORIA GAYNOR. 45 00:02:02,633 --> 00:02:04,233 PUT IT ON, WON'T YOU? 46 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:06,033 PUT IT ON SO SHE CAN HEAR. 47 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:10,166 MICKEY PLAYED IT FOR ME AND I THOUGHT, SO FUN, SO RETRO. 48 00:02:10,233 --> 00:02:12,567 AND WHO CAN RESIST A DISCO BEAT, RIGHT? 49 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,567 AND I KNOW IT'S ABOUT A SPURNED LOVER, 50 00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:16,300 BUT IT WORKS FOR SHOW BUSINESS, TOO. 51 00:02:16,367 --> 00:02:17,834 YOU'LL SEE WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORDS. 52 00:02:17,900 --> 00:02:19,800 OH, IT'S SO GOOD. 53 00:02:19,867 --> 00:02:21,633 ARE WE READY UP THERE? 54 00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:23,233 YEAH, COMING AT YOU. 55 00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:26,266 ( "I Will Survive" playing ) 56 00:02:31,266 --> 00:02:34,200 THAT'S NOT RIGHT, THAT PART. 57 00:02:34,266 --> 00:02:37,066 CUE IT UP TO THE PART I LIKE, WON'T YOU? 58 00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,066 ( CD skipping ) 59 00:02:39,133 --> 00:02:41,100 ( music continues ) 60 00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:46,900 SHOW BUSINESS FOR SOME PEOPLE. 61 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,800 THAT'S ME. 62 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:07,500 - ISN'T THAT PERFECT? - Jane: IT'S EXPENSIVE. 63 00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:10,633 - WHAT? - Jane: I THINK IT'S TOO EXPENSIVE. 64 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:11,934 CAN YOU TURN IT DOWN A LITTLE? 65 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,266 Jane: IT'S GONNA BE TOO EXPENSIVE. 66 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:16,834 REALLY? BUT IT'S SUCH AN OLD SONG. 67 00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:17,800 HOW MUCH COULD IT BE? 68 00:03:17,867 --> 00:03:19,767 Jane: WITH THE ORIGINAL ARTIST? A LOT. 69 00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:22,700 REALLY? WHAT IF I SANG IT? 70 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,667 WOULD IT BE CHEAPER IF I SANG IT? 71 00:03:24,734 --> 00:03:27,867 - Jane: DO YOU SING? - SHE HAS A BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. 72 00:03:27,934 --> 00:03:31,100 - SHE SHOULD SING IT. - WELL, I CAN SING. 73 00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:32,967 IT COULD BE FUN. 74 00:03:33,033 --> 00:03:34,834 Jane: I'LL TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT. 75 00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:37,900 OH, GREAT, GOOD. YEAH. NOW I'M ATTACHED. 76 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:41,133 SORRY, MISS GAYNOR, BUT IT'S MISS CHERISH'S COMEBACK! 77 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,233 CRANK IT UP, MR. SOUND MAN! 78 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,600 ( music resumes ) 79 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,834 THIS PART'S NOT EXACTLY RIGHT, 80 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,166 BUT, YOU KNOW, MOST OF IT. 81 00:03:57,467 --> 00:03:59,367 ( chuckles ) 82 00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:10,066 ( sings along ) 83 00:04:15,266 --> 00:04:17,300 ( laughs ) 84 00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:34,066 - Mickey: OH, MY GOD! - Valerie: THAT'S ME! 85 00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:36,400 - WHERE DID IT GO? - OH, IT'LL COME BACK AROUND. 86 00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:38,967 THAT WAS IT, MICKEY. THAT WAS "THE COMEBACK" POSTER. 87 00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:40,300 THAT WAS THE POSTER! 88 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:43,033 OH! JANE, WERE YOU ABLE TO GET ANY OF IT? 89 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,033 Jane: A LITTLE BIT. 90 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,300 IT'LL COME BACK AROUND. 91 00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:48,900 HURRY. 92 00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:51,300 IT'LL COME BACK AROUND. WOW, IT HAPPENED SO FAST. 93 00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:53,433 IT'S SO EXCITING. 94 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,800 IT WAS SO FAST. I WAS THERE THEN I WAS GONE. 95 00:04:55,867 --> 00:04:58,000 HARDLY ENOUGH TIME TO TAKE IT IN. 96 00:04:58,066 --> 00:05:00,133 THEY SHOULD LEAVE IT ON A LITTLE LONGER. 97 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,767 - Valerie: THERE IT IS! - Mickey: "THE COMEBACK"! 98 00:05:02,834 --> 00:05:05,000 - Mickey: OH, RED, YOU DID IT! - THERE IT IS! 99 00:05:05,066 --> 00:05:08,367 LOOK AT ME PUSHING THE RED CARPET. THAT'S SO CUTE, HUH MICKEY? 100 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,433 LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT. 101 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:15,767 I SHOULD GET THESE RUBBER KNEE THINGS 102 00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:19,433 FOR WHEN I'M OUT IN THE GARDEN FUTZING WITH MY HEIRLOOMS. 103 00:05:20,934 --> 00:05:23,567 OKAY, WELL, THREE LINES. 104 00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:26,233 Jane: I THINK YOU SHOULD SAY SOMETHING. 105 00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:28,667 WHAT MORE CAN I DO, JANE? BREAK INTO THE WRITERS' ROOM 106 00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:30,333 AND TYPE IT UP MYSELF? 107 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,300 THREE LINES, THAT'S ALL. 108 00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:35,567 - ARE THEY FUNNY? - THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT. 109 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:38,300 THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A BIG AUNT SASSY MOMENT ON "ROOM AND BORED" 110 00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:41,467 SO THAT THE NETWORK CAN PROMO IT FOR THE PREMIERE OF "THE COMEBACK." 111 00:05:41,533 --> 00:05:43,266 AND THERE'S NOTHING HERE. NOTHING. 112 00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:45,100 CRAFT SERVICE, RED. 113 00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:47,166 Jane: IT'S IN YOUR CONTRACT. 114 00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:49,100 IT'S PART OF THE DEAL WITH THE NETWORK. 115 00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:51,166 THAT'S FINE, JANE, BUT I'M NOT A LAWYER. 116 00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:53,567 I'M THE ACTRESS, THEY'RE THE SHOW RUNNERS. 117 00:05:53,633 --> 00:05:56,500 I DON'T TALK CONTRACTS. THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE FOR THAT. 118 00:05:56,567 --> 00:05:58,100 - I'LL SAY SOMETHING. - WHAT? 119 00:05:58,166 --> 00:06:00,133 - I'LL SAY SOMETHING. - REALLY? 120 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,533 YEAH. 121 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,266 OKAY, JUST REMIND THEM GENTLY. 122 00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:06,133 DON'T PUSH THEM. DON'T MAKE ANY DEMANDS. 123 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,000 Jane: HEY, GUYS, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 124 00:06:09,066 --> 00:06:10,567 Paulie: SHE SPEAKS! 125 00:06:10,633 --> 00:06:13,533 - ( chatting ) - WHAT WERE YOU SAYING, MICKEY? 126 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,233 BEFORE? 127 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:17,900 BEFORE WHAT? 128 00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:19,433 ABOUT THE HEIRLOOMS? 129 00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:22,000 Paulie: NO! NO FUCKING WAY! THE SHOW'S ALREADY WRITTEN! 130 00:06:22,066 --> 00:06:24,033 Tom: BUT WE GOT A MEMO FROM THE NETWORK. 131 00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:26,633 MICKEY GROWS THE MOST GORGEOUS HEIRLOOM TOMATOES. 132 00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:29,400 Paulie: FUCK THIS AND FUCK HER REALITY SHOW! 133 00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:31,433 WHICH ARE THE ONES I LIKE? 134 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,400 - Paulie: WHAT'S THE POINT? - Jane: IT'S FROM THE NETWORK. 135 00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:36,400 GREEN ZEBRA AND HILLBILLY. 136 00:06:36,467 --> 00:06:39,000 Tom: WE HAVE TO DO IT! IT'S FOR THE NETWORK! 137 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,333 Paulie: OH, FUCK THE NETWORK! 138 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,667 THAT'S JUST SHOOTING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT. 139 00:06:43,734 --> 00:06:45,033 THAT'S NOT SMART. 140 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,767 YOU NEVER SAY "F THE NETWORK." 141 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,500 I'M QUOTING. 142 00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:50,600 - I'M NOT SAYING IT. - Mickey: HERE SHE COMES. 143 00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:53,000 WELL, OKAY. 144 00:06:53,066 --> 00:06:55,667 JANE, THAT WAS NOT GOOD. THAT WAS NOT GOOD. 145 00:06:55,734 --> 00:06:57,567 SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT TO THE LAWYERS. 146 00:06:57,633 --> 00:06:59,734 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HOPED TO ACCOMPLISH WITH THAT. 147 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,567 TOM SAID HE'D WRITE YOU SOMETHING GOOD. 148 00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:03,500 OH, DID HE? I DIDN'T HEAR THAT PART. 149 00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:06,767 REALLY? OKAY, GOOD. GOOD. ALL RIGHT. 150 00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,800 GOOD JOB, JANE. WELL DONE. 151 00:07:08,867 --> 00:07:11,266 I DON'T LIKE HIM TALKING TO YOU THAT WAY. 152 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:12,533 WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM? 153 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,066 MARK, HE'S NOT SAYING F ME. 154 00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:17,533 HE'S SAYING "F" THE ACTRESS WITH ALL THE DEMANDS. 155 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,333 F THE REALITY SHOW. 156 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,533 IT'S F ANYTHING THAT'S GONNA MAKE HIM WORK A LITTLE HARDER. 157 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:26,233 ANYTHING THAT TAKES HIM AWAY FROM HIS TRIP TO LAS VEGAS 158 00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:29,166 OR WHATEVER HE DOES ON HIS WEEKENDS. 159 00:07:31,567 --> 00:07:34,600 HE'S VERY LUCKY HE HAS TOM FOR A PARTNER. 160 00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:37,867 VERY, VERY LUCKY THAT TOM IS SMART AND HE GETS IT. 161 00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:40,266 WELL, HE BETTER WATCH OUT, OR I'M GONNA GO DOWN THERE 162 00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,934 AND PUNCH HIM IN HIS BIG FAT GUT. 163 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,567 MARK, THAT'S CUTE. 164 00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,967 HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT, JANE. 165 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,100 YES, I DO. 166 00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:53,033 SEE THIS IS WHAT I HAVE THAT PAULIE G. DOESN'T-- 167 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,300 A MAN AT HOME WHO LOVES ME. 168 00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:59,934 I'M NOT SAYING THAT PAULIE G. WANTS A MAN AT HOME. 169 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,033 TOO BAD HE DOESN'T, HUH, JANE? 170 00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:06,233 'CAUSE THEN THAT F WOULD STAND FOR FABULOUS. 171 00:08:07,033 --> 00:08:08,533 Jane: YEAH. 172 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,133 Valerie: MY POINT IS, I DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. 173 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,533 I'M NOT THAT PERSON. 174 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,533 HE'S AN ANGRY, ANGRY, ANGRY MAN. 175 00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,867 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME AT WORK, ALL RIGHT? 176 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,800 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. 177 00:08:23,867 --> 00:08:26,367 "THINK I'D CRUMBLE? THINK I'D LAY DOWN AND DIE? 178 00:08:26,433 --> 00:08:28,133 OH NO, NOT I." 179 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,700 IT'S FROM THE SONG. 180 00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:34,600 HI, LOVEY. 181 00:08:34,667 --> 00:08:37,000 - HI. - CANDY FOR LUNCH? 182 00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:38,667 - MM-HMM. - SOME BREAD AND CANDY? 183 00:08:38,734 --> 00:08:40,300 WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS EXTRA SECURITY? 184 00:08:40,367 --> 00:08:43,200 - WHAT SECURITY? - THERE, RED. HADN'T YOU NOTICED? 185 00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:45,533 - OH. - I GOT A STALKER NOTE. 186 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,400 WHERE? 187 00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:49,266 - IN MY ROOM. - OH, YOU'RE KIDDING? 188 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,266 - NO, IT CAME THIS MORNING. - ( gasps ) 189 00:08:51,333 --> 00:08:53,367 WELL, I HAD WITH THAT ON "IT." 190 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,200 - DID YOU? - OH, YEAH. 191 00:08:55,266 --> 00:08:57,633 WHEN YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE A CELEBRITY 192 00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:59,166 AND YOU'VE REALLY GOT IT LIKE WE DO 193 00:08:59,233 --> 00:09:01,133 IT JUST COMES WITH THE TERRITORY. 194 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,700 YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO HER, JUNA. 195 00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:04,133 ALL THE NUTS LOVED VALERIE. 196 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,200 THAT'S TRUE ENOUGH. THERE WAS ONE GUY 197 00:09:06,266 --> 00:09:09,734 WHO KEPT SENDING ME PICTURES OF HIMSELF DRESSED AS MY CHARACTER BECKY. 198 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,300 KIND OF CREEPY. I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE THAT! 199 00:09:12,367 --> 00:09:15,000 WHAT ABOUT THE GUY THAT SENT YOU SHIT. REMEMBER? 200 00:09:15,066 --> 00:09:16,600 "I'M IT, I'M SHIT." 201 00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:19,266 THAT'S JUST MEAN. I DON'T EVEN LIKE TO THINK ABOUT IT. 202 00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,000 WHAT DID YOUR NOTE SAY? 203 00:09:21,066 --> 00:09:24,467 IT SAID, "IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NO ONE ELSE WILL." 204 00:09:24,533 --> 00:09:26,967 WELL, THAT'S A DEATH THREAT, HONEY. 205 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:30,066 - IT IS? - JUNA, NO. NO, IT'S NOT. 206 00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,700 MICKEY, DON'T GET HYSTERICAL. 207 00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:34,433 DON'T ADD FUEL TO THE FIRE. 208 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,400 LISTEN, WE'VE GOT EXTRA SECURITY 209 00:09:36,467 --> 00:09:38,300 AND I'M SURE EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE. 210 00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:39,900 - REALLY WILL. - YEAH. 211 00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:42,867 HEY, GUYS! GOT SOME PRETTY BIG CHANGES HERE. 212 00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:44,266 JANE, CHANGES. 213 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:47,367 VAL, WE'VE GOT A REALLY REALLY FUNNY SCENE 214 00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:49,333 AT THE END OF THE SCRIPT WITH A BIG PRATFALL. 215 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,633 I KNOW YOU WERE ASKING FOR SOMETHING PHYSICAL, 216 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,567 SO I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THAT. 217 00:09:53,633 --> 00:09:56,734 - I'M SURE I WILL. THANK YOU. - NO PROBLEM. 218 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,767 HAPPY TO DO IT. SEE? 219 00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:00,567 IT ALL WORKED OUT. 220 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:03,767 OH, JUNA, JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THE AUNT SASSY STUFF, 221 00:10:03,834 --> 00:10:05,300 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE IN ALL OF IT. 222 00:10:05,367 --> 00:10:08,166 - OH, GREAT! OH, FUN! - COOL! THANKS. 223 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,567 OH, AND APPARENTLY I HAVE 224 00:10:10,633 --> 00:10:12,867 AN ULCER SITUATION HAPPENING, 225 00:10:12,934 --> 00:10:14,900 SO I'M GONNA BE OUT THIS WHOLE WEEK 226 00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:17,867 - RUNNING SOME TESTS. - OH NO, TOM. 227 00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:20,800 - ANYTHING WE CAN DO? - NO, I DON'T THINK SO. 228 00:10:20,867 --> 00:10:24,300 YOU GUYS WILL IN GOOD HANDS WITH PAULIE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 229 00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:27,333 - ARE YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT? - YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. 230 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,900 - WE'VE GOT ALL THE EXTRA SECURITY. - OKAY, GOOD. 231 00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:33,633 ANYTHING WEIRD, JUST TELL PAULIE G. 232 00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,500 - YEAH, PLEASE. - YES. 233 00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,100 - OKAY? - THANKS. 234 00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:40,066 - AW, WHAT A BEAR. - ( chuckles ) 235 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,300 RED LIGHT'S STILL ON. 236 00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:45,834 SO THEY'RE FILMING, CAN'T GO IN. 237 00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:47,433 DON'T WANT TO RUIN A TAKE. 238 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,166 A LOT OF HARD WORKING PEOPLE IN THERE. 239 00:10:52,133 --> 00:10:54,333 OH HI. DID YOU GIVE HIM--? 240 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,166 YEAH, HE'S RIGHT BEHIND-- 241 00:10:56,233 --> 00:10:58,800 THANKS, ERIC. TELL THEM I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 242 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,266 Valerie: HI, JIMMY. I SEE YOU GOT MY NOTE? 243 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:04,367 YEAH, WHAT'S UP? IT SOUNDED URGENT. 244 00:11:04,433 --> 00:11:06,233 OH NO, IT'S NOT URGENT. 245 00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,266 JUST, YOU KNOW, PASSIONATE, NOT URGENT. 246 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:10,667 I'VE ONLY GOT A MINUTE. 247 00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:12,834 OH, ALL RIGHT, THEN HERE'S THE SCOOP. 248 00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:15,633 SO "ROOM AND BORED" WROTE ME THIS REAL FUNNY BIT. 249 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:17,667 I'M DRESSED AS A GIANT CUPCAKE 250 00:11:17,734 --> 00:11:21,867 IN A DIET PILL HALLUCINATION AND I DO A BIG PRATFALL. 251 00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:24,300 SOUNDS LIKE THEY'VE LOST THEIR MINDS. 252 00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:27,767 OH NO, IT'S FUNNY. IT WORKS. IT WORKS. 253 00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:30,967 THEY'RE CALLING IT "REQUIEM FOR A DREAM" MEETS DR. SEUSS. 254 00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:33,266 ( giggling ) IT'S REAL FUNNY. 255 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:35,834 ANYWAY, THE WHOLE BIT SCREAMS JIMMY. 256 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,033 BUT WE DON'T HAVE YOU THIS WEEK. 257 00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:41,300 YOU KNOW, GOT WAGNER. AND HE'S A DELIGHT, DON'T GET ME WRONG. 258 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,266 BUT YOU'RE THE MASTER OF PHYSICAL COMEDY. 259 00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:47,900 SO I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU COULD COME ON OVER, 260 00:11:47,967 --> 00:11:49,967 YOU KNOW, JUST FOR A LITTLE BIT. 261 00:11:50,033 --> 00:11:51,934 I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF PRE-SHOOT. 262 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,633 OH SURE, YEAH. OF COURSE. 263 00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:57,200 I WAS AFRAID OF THAT. EVERYONE WANTS YOU. 264 00:11:57,266 --> 00:11:58,734 SO, ALL RIGHT. 265 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,667 WELL, HELL. I GOT YOU NOW. 266 00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:03,667 WHY DON'T-- I CAN SHOW YOU WHAT I WAS THINKING. 267 00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:06,500 HOW ABOUT I DON'T FALL ON A PIECE OF GLASS? 268 00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:08,300 - UH, VAL, VAL. - YEAH? 269 00:12:08,367 --> 00:12:10,967 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON'T FALL HERE. 270 00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:14,700 NO, I WASN'T GOING TO FALL FALL. 271 00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,667 NO, JUST GONNA SORT OF MIME IT. 272 00:12:16,734 --> 00:12:19,600 TAKE YOU THROUGH THE STEPS, SHOW YOU WHAT I WAS THINKING. 273 00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:23,367 IT'S A PRATFALL IN A CUPCAKE SUIT. 274 00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:25,066 YEAH. 275 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,867 I KNOW, IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW... 276 00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:29,600 LOOK, TOM'S GONE THIS WHOLE WEEK. 277 00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:31,934 - HE HAS AN ULCER. - OH, I DIDN'T KNOW. 278 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,400 YEAH, SO IT'S JUST PAULIE G. 279 00:12:34,467 --> 00:12:36,500 AND WAGNER. 280 00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:38,433 WELL, YEAH. 281 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:41,266 SO I'M PRETTY MUCH ON MY OWN. 282 00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:44,300 I JUST WANT IT TO BE GOOD. SHOW PAULIE, 283 00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:46,600 "IT'S OKAY, I CAN BE FUNNY. I CAN BE GOOD." 284 00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:49,700 HONEY, BLOOD FROM A STONE. 285 00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:52,767 - WHAT? - BLOOD FROM A STONE. 286 00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:55,266 YEAH. INCAPABLE. 287 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,166 YEAH, YEAH. 288 00:12:57,233 --> 00:12:59,667 NO, I UNDERSTAND. WELL, STILL, I WANT IT TO BE GOOD. 289 00:12:59,734 --> 00:13:02,166 - SO I'D LOVE TO-- - THE AUDIENCE WILL LAUGH 290 00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:04,600 AND YOU'LL GO TO THAT PLACE YOU GO. 291 00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:06,133 YOU'LL BE FINE. 292 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,433 - YOU THINK? - YOU'RE A GIANT CUPCAKE. 293 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,000 THAT'S TRUE. 294 00:13:11,066 --> 00:13:13,033 WELL, I'LL SEE YOU. YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT. 295 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,400 - THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, THANKS, JIMMY. - OKAY. 296 00:13:15,467 --> 00:13:17,834 AND IF YOU CAN, FALL BACKWARDS. IT'S ALWAYS FUNNIER. 297 00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,433 YEAH, THAT'S GOOD. 298 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:23,433 - I WAS THINKING I'D FALL FORWARDS-- - BACKWARDS! 299 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,266 HE HAS HIS OWN WAY OF DOING THINGS. 300 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:26,967 BUT NOTHING'S FUNNIER THEN A FACEPLANT. 301 00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:30,033 I KNOW THAT, JUST WANTED TO WORK THAT OUT WITH HIM. 302 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,166 AH, JANE, LOOK AT MICKEY. 303 00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:35,300 HE FELL ASLEEP WITH THE WINDOWS ALL ROLLED UP. 304 00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:38,900 IF WE JUST LEFT HIM THERE HE'D BE DEAD IN 20 MINUTES. 305 00:13:38,967 --> 00:13:40,233 GONNA WAKE HIM UP. 306 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,400 I'M SAVING YOUR LIFE! 307 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,900 ( shouting ) WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 308 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:05,300 WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 309 00:14:26,734 --> 00:14:28,900 WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 310 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,533 - Mark: HEY. - OH! 311 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,433 - OH, GOOD YOU'RE HOME. - WHAT'S GOING ON? 312 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:43,800 - IT'S LATE. - DINNER WITH THE OUT-OF-TOWN CLIENTS. 313 00:14:43,867 --> 00:14:45,867 - THEY WANT TO PARTY. - YEAH. 314 00:14:45,934 --> 00:14:47,467 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 315 00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:49,500 OH, JUST WORKING SOMETHING OUT. 316 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:51,200 WORKING SOMETHING OUT. 317 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,734 THEY CHANGED THE WHOLE SCRIPT. 318 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,633 WHOLE SCRIPT. PART OF THE B STORY NOW. 319 00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,967 - PRETTY BIG, HUH? - HOW MANY STORIES ARE THERE? 320 00:14:57,033 --> 00:14:59,133 NEVER MIND. THE POINT IS, 321 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,934 IS THAT I'M A REAL PART OF THE SHOW. 322 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,166 IT ALL WORKED OUT. 323 00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:06,767 JANE SHOWED HER TEETH AND "THE COMEBACK" PULLED RANK. 324 00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:09,800 - GOOD. - YEAH, YEAH. 325 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:13,233 I HAVE THIS HILARIOUS PRATFALL I WAS JUST PRACTICING. 326 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:15,133 Mark: I DON'T LIKE THAT. 327 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,667 IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S NOTHING. 328 00:15:17,734 --> 00:15:19,867 Mark: I DON'T WANT YOU TO HURT YOUR BACK. 329 00:15:19,934 --> 00:15:21,667 NO, I WON'T. 330 00:15:21,734 --> 00:15:25,300 I'M WEARING A BIG CUPCAKE, AND THERE'S PADDING ALL AROUND. 331 00:15:26,767 --> 00:15:30,000 LEAVE THE ACTING TO THE ACTRESS, ALL RIGHT? 332 00:15:30,066 --> 00:15:31,967 YOU'RE A CUPCAKE? 333 00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:33,934 Valerie: YEAH, ISN'T THAT FUNNY? 334 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,433 HONEY, I THINK IT'S MY LUCY MOMENT. 335 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,367 OH, WELL, AS LONG AS YOU THINK IT'S SAFE. 336 00:15:38,433 --> 00:15:40,233 OH, YEAH, IT IS. 337 00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:43,834 ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO COME DOWN THERE AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE OKAY? 338 00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:47,100 OH, NO NO NO. MARK, PLEASE DON'T. 339 00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:49,433 I CAN'T WORRYING ABOUT YOU WORRYING ABOUT ME. 340 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,433 I'VE GOT TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING LAUGHS. 341 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,333 - IT'S FINE. - ( laughs ) 342 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,633 - THAT WORKS. - SEE? 343 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:03,166 Jane: THE SCRIPT HAS METAL THINGS ON IT. 344 00:16:05,867 --> 00:16:07,400 OH. 345 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,500 OH, EXCUSE ME. 346 00:16:09,567 --> 00:16:11,433 I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH. 347 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:14,000 - I'M ONE OF THE STARS. - EVERYBODY HAS TO GO THROUGH. 348 00:16:14,066 --> 00:16:15,467 EVEN THE STARS. 349 00:16:15,533 --> 00:16:18,033 WELL, I SUPPOSE I COULD BE STALKING JUNA. 350 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,633 - EVERYONE COULD. - ( beeps ) 351 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:24,266 THOUGHT THAT MIGHT HAPPEN. SOME TIMES IT GOES OFF SOME TIMES IT DOESN'T. 352 00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:26,166 DEPENDS ON THE SENSITIVITY. 353 00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:27,533 - RIGHT, MICKEY? - RIGHT. 354 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,967 YEAH. WOULD YOU MIND GOING THROUGH AGAIN, PLEASE? 355 00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,500 IT'S JUST GONNA GO OFF AGAIN. 356 00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:34,567 - ( beeps ) - YEAH, YEAH. 357 00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:39,133 YEAH, I HAVE A METAL ROD IN MY BACK. 358 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,734 JANE, I HAD CURVATURE OF THE SPINE AS A KID 359 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,100 SO THEY HAD TO CORRECT IT, PUT A ROD IN AND STRAIGHTEN IT OUT. 360 00:16:45,166 --> 00:16:47,033 I HAD SCOLIOSIS. 361 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,533 HAPPENS TO A LOT OF GIRLS. 362 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,233 - RIGHT, MICKEY? - RIGHT. 363 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,133 Guard: WOULD YOU STAND OVER TO THE SIDE, PLEASE? 364 00:16:55,066 --> 00:16:57,000 LIFT UP YOUR ARMS, PLEASE. 365 00:16:58,266 --> 00:17:00,667 - ( wand beeping ) - YEAH, SEE? THERE I GO. 366 00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:03,200 MONICA, WOULD YOU MIND? 367 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,533 NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO. 368 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,100 - SORRY. - ALL CLEAR. 369 00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:11,533 - OKAY. - GOOD, GREAT. 370 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,867 - I LOVE THE SHOW. - AW, THANK YOU. 371 00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:16,700 LISTEN, YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB, ALL OF YOU. 372 00:17:16,767 --> 00:17:19,133 REALLY FEEL SAFE, SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU HERE. 373 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,700 MICKEY, SEE YOU IN HAIR AND MAKE-UP. 374 00:17:21,767 --> 00:17:24,100 OKAY, RED. 375 00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:26,367 SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT BACON. 376 00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:34,233 Jane: DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED AT THE METAL DETECTOR? 377 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:37,400 OH, THAT WAS NO BIG DEAL. NO. 378 00:17:37,467 --> 00:17:39,700 YOU KNOW THOSE GIRLS IN JUNIOR HIGH 379 00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:43,367 WHO HAD BODY CASTS ON OR THE BACK BRACE? THAT WAS ME. 380 00:17:43,433 --> 00:17:45,266 IT HAPPENED. DONE. 381 00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:47,300 Jane: AREN'T YOU WORRIED ABOUT YOUR FALL? 382 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,066 OH GOD, NO. NO NO NO. 383 00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:54,266 I HAVE A ROD IN MY BACK, BUT IT DOESN'T LIMIT ME MUCH. 384 00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:57,000 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN VERY ACTIVE, VERY PHYSICAL. 385 00:17:57,066 --> 00:17:59,900 EVEN THEN I WAS ON THE FIELD HOCKEY TEAM. 386 00:17:59,967 --> 00:18:03,433 BUT THAT WHOLE YEAR, OF COURSE, I WAS IN THE BODY CAST. 387 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,767 SO, I COULDN'T PLAY, 388 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:07,467 BUT I'D STILL GO TO EVERY PRACTICE. 389 00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:11,500 WENT TO EVERY PRACTICE, DRESSED IN THE UNIFORM FOR EVERY GAME, RIGHT? 390 00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:15,867 AND STILL PART OF IT. I RAN AROUND HANDING OUT TOWELS, 391 00:18:15,934 --> 00:18:18,600 GETTING EVERYONE WATER, 392 00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:20,233 CHEERING THEM ON DURING THE GAMES. 393 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,734 YEAH, SHOWED UP EVERY DAY. 394 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,000 SO, IT WAS FUN. 395 00:18:25,066 --> 00:18:27,233 WOULDN'T DIDN'T LET ME BE IN THE PICTURE. 396 00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:29,333 BUT... 397 00:18:31,934 --> 00:18:34,834 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS. 398 00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,266 ALL OF THE SUDDEN-- WHOO! 399 00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,767 I'M GONNA HAVE TO-- 400 00:18:42,633 --> 00:18:44,200 I'M FINE! 401 00:18:44,266 --> 00:18:46,600 ( sobs ) I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS. 402 00:18:49,633 --> 00:18:51,734 GET OFF ME. 403 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,767 - ( audience laughs ) - FOLKS, JUST ONE MORE SCENE TO GO. 404 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,934 NOW REMEMBER, LAST TIME WE SAW AUNT SASSY 405 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,567 SHE TELLING THE KIDS NOT TO LET HER INTO JUNA'S 406 00:18:59,633 --> 00:19:02,500 - FOR CUPCAKES AND QUESADILLA NIGHT. - ( audience laughs ) 407 00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,834 SHE'S BEEN ON DIET PILLS FOR WEEKS 408 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:06,967 AND STILL HASN'T LOST THE WEIGHT. 409 00:19:07,033 --> 00:19:09,233 IT'S LATE NIGHT, JUNA'S GONE TO BED, 410 00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,533 THE LEFT OVER GOODIES ARE IN THE FRIDGE 411 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:15,433 AND AUNT SASSY'S HALLUCINATING UPSTAIRS IN A DIET PILL STUPOR. 412 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:16,967 ( audience laughing ) 413 00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,100 Eddie: ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO! ON A BELL! 414 00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:21,200 ( bell rings ) 415 00:19:21,266 --> 00:19:23,367 Assistant: SCENE J. FOUR CAMERAS. 416 00:19:23,433 --> 00:19:25,166 COMMON MARKER. TAKE ONE! 417 00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:27,266 AND ACTION! 418 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,800 ( door opens ) 419 00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:31,033 ( audience laughs ) 420 00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:38,300 MUST HAVE CUPCAKES. 421 00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:41,667 MUST HAVE QUESADILLAS. 422 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,266 I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT! 423 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:47,200 ( audience laughs, applauds ) 424 00:19:47,266 --> 00:19:50,033 Wagner: AND CUE THE ISLAND MOVING. 425 00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:52,600 WHY ISN'T THE ISLAND MOVING? 426 00:19:52,667 --> 00:19:55,000 MOVE THE ISLAND! 427 00:19:55,066 --> 00:19:56,934 IT'S NOT MOVING. 428 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,333 Wagner: OKAY, CUT! 429 00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,800 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ISLAND? BILL? 430 00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:02,567 Emcee: LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A TECHNICAL PROBLEM, FOLKS. 431 00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:05,266 YEAH, SO PRETEND YOU DIDN'T ALREADY SEE ME, OKAY? 432 00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:08,300 - Eddie: WHAT'S GOING ON? - Bill: THE RIG'S JAMMED. 433 00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:10,834 - WE NEED A MINUTE. - LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN. COME ON. 434 00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:13,400 ROBIN? 435 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,633 WELL, MY ENTRANCE IS BLOWN. IT'S BLOWN. 436 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,233 DON'T WORRY, RED, IT'LL BE FUNNY ALL OVER AGAIN. 437 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:22,367 A CUPCAKE'S NEVER AS FUNNY THE SECOND TIME, NEVER. 438 00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:24,767 OH, LOOK, THEY'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME. 439 00:20:24,834 --> 00:20:26,767 - UH, VALERIE? - YEAH? 440 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,700 WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM. THE RIG IS BLOWN. 441 00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:31,934 - IS IT, HUH? - WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SWITCH IT OUT. 442 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000 - HOW LONG'S THAT GOING TO TAKE? - OH, NO TIME. 443 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,333 - A COUPLE OF MINUTES. - ACTUALLY, IT'S GOING TO BE MORE LIKE AN HOUR. 444 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,700 YEAH, IT TAKES ABOUT AN HOUR. 445 00:20:39,767 --> 00:20:42,633 - YEAH, ALL RIGHT. PETER? - YEAH? 446 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,767 WE'VE GOT AN HOUR, SO GET ME OUT OF THIS CAKE. 447 00:20:44,834 --> 00:20:46,600 LET'S GO, HONEY. 448 00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:49,767 Emcee: THERE SHE GOES BACKSTAGE TO STAY FRESH. 449 00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:53,000 WELL, THAT'S AN HOUR. 450 00:20:53,066 --> 00:20:54,834 AN HOUR. 451 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,867 Eddie: OKAY, HERE'S WHAT'S GOING ON. 452 00:20:56,934 --> 00:21:00,533 - IT'S GONNA TAKE ANOTHER 45 MINUTES. - WHAT? WHY? 453 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,333 WE HAD TO GO OVER TO WARNER BROTHERS TO GET A NEW MOTOR. 454 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,533 ALL RIGHT. HOW'S THE AUDIENCE DOING? GETTING RESTLESS? 455 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,000 - WE LET THE AUDIENCE GO. - WHAT? OH, NO. 456 00:21:10,066 --> 00:21:12,166 EDDIE, NO. GOT TO HAVE THE AUDIENCE FOR MY BIT. 457 00:21:12,233 --> 00:21:14,033 HOW AM I GOING TO KNOW IF IT'S WORKING? 458 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:16,033 I'M SORRY, VAL. IT WAS 11:00. 459 00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:18,100 THERE WAS A TOUR. THEY HAD TO BE OUT OF THERE. 460 00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:20,700 THE AUDIENCE WAS GETTING ANTSY, SO WE SENT THEM. 461 00:21:20,767 --> 00:21:22,600 - OKAY, I GOT IT. - WE PRE-SHOT THAT TAG. 462 00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:26,100 - YOURS IS THE LAST SCENE. I'LL COME AND GET YOU. - THANK YOU. 463 00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:29,033 ( men chanting ) ONE FOR THE MONEY, TWO FOR THE MONEY, 464 00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:31,567 THREE FOR THE MONEY! ( hooting ) 465 00:21:31,633 --> 00:21:34,533 - ONE MORE! - WAIT, WAIT! 466 00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:40,400 Paulie: MUST HAVE TEQUILA! 467 00:21:43,266 --> 00:21:47,800 THE LEAST HE COULD'VE DONE WAS KEEP THE WRITERS HERE TO LAUGH. 468 00:21:47,867 --> 00:21:51,100 SWEETIE, YOU DON'T NEED THEM. YOU'RE DELICIOUS! 469 00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:53,433 - Wagner: VALERIE, YOU READY? - YEAH. YEAH, I AM! 470 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:55,934 ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, FROM VALERIE'S ENTRANCE! 471 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,667 HERE WE GO. ON A BELL! 472 00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:00,300 ( bell rings ) 473 00:22:00,367 --> 00:22:02,834 SCENE J FOUR CAMERAS. COMMON MARKER. TAKE TWO. 474 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:04,033 ( sticks click ) 475 00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:06,367 Wagner: AND ACTION! 476 00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:14,133 MUST HAVE CUPCAKES. 477 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,567 MUST HAVE QUESADILLA. 478 00:22:17,467 --> 00:22:20,233 I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT! 479 00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:25,600 MUST HAVE CUPCAKES! 480 00:22:25,667 --> 00:22:27,734 YOU'RE FAT-FATTY-FAT-FAT! 481 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,934 WAKE UP! WAKE UP! OH! 482 00:22:31,133 --> 00:22:34,200 - AND CUT! - ( Valerie laughs ) 483 00:22:34,266 --> 00:22:36,700 - YOU OKAY, VAL? - OH, YEAH, I'M FINE. 484 00:22:36,767 --> 00:22:39,066 - ARE YOU SURE? - OH, SURE. I'M FINE. 485 00:22:39,133 --> 00:22:40,800 PERFECTLY FINE. HOW WAS THAT? 486 00:22:40,867 --> 00:22:42,867 PAULIE, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 487 00:22:42,934 --> 00:22:44,734 YOU KNOW THE FALL COULD BE BETTER. 488 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,200 COULD BE BETTER, PAULIE. I'M GONNA DO ANOTHER ONE. 489 00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:49,333 WHATEVER. 490 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,900 Wagner: VALERIE, I'VE GOT THE ENTRANCE, 491 00:22:51,967 --> 00:22:54,233 SO WE'LL JUST DO IT FROM WHERE THE FRIDGE OPENS. 492 00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:56,033 YEAH, OKAY, GREAT. 493 00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:57,867 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, LET'S RESET! 494 00:22:57,934 --> 00:23:00,967 LET'S TAKE IT FROM VALERIE OPENING THE FRIDGE. 495 00:23:01,033 --> 00:23:02,800 WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT. 496 00:23:02,867 --> 00:23:04,767 NONE OF THE CREW WERE LAUGHING. 497 00:23:04,834 --> 00:23:07,066 THEY'RE TEAMSTERS, NOTHING'S FUNNY TO THEM. 498 00:23:07,133 --> 00:23:10,400 - COULD BE BETTER. - Eddie: OKAY, ON A BELL! HERE WE GO! 499 00:23:10,467 --> 00:23:13,233 SCENE J. FOUR CAMERAS. COMMON MARKER. TAKE TWO. 500 00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:15,633 Wagner: AND ACTION. 501 00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:17,834 MUST HAVE CUPCAKES! 502 00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:20,433 YOU'RE FAT-FATTY-FAT-FAT! 503 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,867 WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 504 00:23:22,934 --> 00:23:24,934 ( laughs ) 505 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:27,800 CUT! 506 00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:30,900 ALL RIGHT. THERE WE GO. 507 00:23:30,967 --> 00:23:31,900 ALL RIGHT. 508 00:23:31,967 --> 00:23:34,433 OH. OKAY, GUYS? 509 00:23:36,133 --> 00:23:39,433 I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY FUNNY. 510 00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:41,433 WELL, I WANT TO GO AGAIN. 511 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:44,000 - WHATEVER SHE WANTS. - Valerie: YEAH. 512 00:23:44,066 --> 00:23:45,967 WANT TO GO AGAIN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS TIME 513 00:23:46,033 --> 00:23:48,367 LET'S JUST KEEP IT ROLLING AND I'LL DO TWO IN A ROW. 514 00:23:48,433 --> 00:23:50,800 OKAY, HERE WE GO! LET'S RESET, EVERYBODY! 515 00:23:50,867 --> 00:23:53,066 - WE'RE GONNA DO TWO IN A ROW ON A BELL. - ( bell rings ) 516 00:23:53,133 --> 00:23:55,233 OKAY, NOW, GO OVER THERE. 517 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:58,066 AND DON'T FAKE LAUGH, I CAN TELL. 518 00:23:58,133 --> 00:24:01,433 SCENE J. FOUR CAMERAS, COMMON MARKER. TAKE FOUR. 519 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,834 - ( sticks click ) - Wagner: AND ACTION. 520 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,333 MUST HAVE CUPCAKES! 521 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,333 Juna: YOU'RE FAT-FAT-FATTY-FAT! 522 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,100 WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 523 00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:16,734 - Eddie: YOU ALL RIGHT? - Valerie: I GOT IT. 524 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,100 YEAH, I GOT IT. THANK YOU. 525 00:24:20,166 --> 00:24:21,667 RED, THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH. 526 00:24:21,734 --> 00:24:23,900 - MICKEY, WE'RE ROLLING. WE'RE ROLLING, OKAY? - OH! 527 00:24:23,967 --> 00:24:25,834 ( panting ) JUST ONE... 528 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:28,400 ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA TRY SOMETHING ELSE, OKAY? 529 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,800 GONNA LAND ON MY BACK. BACKWARD'S ALWAYS FUNNIER. 530 00:24:32,734 --> 00:24:34,233 I THINK THIS WILL BE IT. 531 00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:37,033 Eddie: RESET, EVERYONE, QUICKLY! 532 00:24:38,567 --> 00:24:41,667 MUST HAVE CUPCAKES! 533 00:24:41,734 --> 00:24:43,467 Juna: YOU'RE FAT-FATTY-FAT-FAT! 534 00:24:43,533 --> 00:24:46,100 WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 535 00:24:46,166 --> 00:24:48,266 OH! 536 00:24:48,333 --> 00:24:49,934 Eddie: CUT! 537 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,000 YOU ALL RIGHT, VAL? IT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT. 538 00:24:52,066 --> 00:24:53,600 WELL, NO. 539 00:24:53,667 --> 00:24:55,433 - ARE YOU OKAY? - YEAH. 540 00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:57,100 NO, I'M ALL RIGHT. I'M FINE. 541 00:24:57,166 --> 00:24:59,467 YEAH, I'M FINE. I'M GOOD. 542 00:24:59,533 --> 00:25:02,066 - I THINK THAT WAS IT. - OKAY, I THINK WE GOT IT! 543 00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:04,133 RIGHT, WAGNER? 544 00:25:05,033 --> 00:25:06,133 YEAH, WE GOT IT! 545 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,133 THANK YOU, EVERYONE! THAT'S A WRAP! 546 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,667 VERY GOOD! GOOD JOB, VAL! 547 00:25:10,734 --> 00:25:12,433 THANK YOU. YEAH. 548 00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:15,700 GOOD. I THINK THAT WAS THE ONE, RIGHT, PAULIE? 549 00:25:15,767 --> 00:25:16,934 THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. 550 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,867 I LIKED THE FIRST ONE. 551 00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:21,767 THEN WHY DID YOU-- WHY DID I DO ALL THOSE OTHER TAKES? 552 00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:24,433 BECAUSE YOU LIKE THROWING YOURSELF ON THE GROUND. 553 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:27,533 YOU KNOW, I COULD'VE REALLY HURT MYSELF. 554 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,433 RELAX. IT WAS A JOKE. 555 00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:34,200 WHAT? DOES THAT ROD IN YOUR BACK GO ALL THE WAY UP YOUR ASS? 556 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:37,633 ALL RIGHT, WELL! 557 00:25:38,934 --> 00:25:41,533 ( groans ) FUCK! 558 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,000 ( gurgles ) WHAT THE FUCK? 559 00:25:43,066 --> 00:25:45,433 ( gags ) 560 00:25:48,433 --> 00:25:49,934 GET THAT FUCKING CAMERA OFF OF ME! 561 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,934 SHUT OFF THE CAMERAS! GET THEM OUT! 562 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,300 - GO AWAY! - FUCK OFF! 563 00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:58,500 FUCK! 564 00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:10,166 ( piano playing ) 565 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,066 ( singing "I Will Survive" ) 566 00:27:05,066 --> 00:27:07,233 - VALERIE? VALERIE? - Valerie: YEAH? 567 00:27:07,300 --> 00:27:09,500 IT'S SOUNDING A LITTLE VANILLA. 568 00:27:09,567 --> 00:27:11,533 YEAH, WE NEED MORE STREET. 569 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,300 UH, MORE... MORE KICK SOME ASS. 570 00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:17,300 YEAH, CAN DO. GOT YOU. 571 00:27:17,367 --> 00:27:19,633 LET ME FIND IT-- FIGURE OUT WHERE I AM. 572 00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:21,834 IT'S THE INSTRUMENTAL. 573 00:27:23,166 --> 00:27:25,433 I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY SINGING IN THIS PART. 574 00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:26,700 LET'S SEE. 575 00:27:26,767 --> 00:27:28,800 Engineer: VAL, YOU KNOW, UM... 576 00:27:28,867 --> 00:27:31,100 SHE'S REALLY BEEN DUMPED ON BY A GUY. 577 00:27:31,166 --> 00:27:33,834 GET WITH THAT, OKAY? 578 00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:36,734 ( screaming lyrics ) 579 00:28:24,867 --> 00:28:26,500 OH, IT'S SO GOOD. 580 00:28:26,567 --> 00:28:28,800 I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST SO GOOD. 581 00:28:28,867 --> 00:28:30,767 GOTTA GET SOME-- 582 00:28:30,834 --> 00:28:32,967 ANGRY HURTS MY THROAT. 583 00:28:33,033 --> 00:28:35,100 ( laughs ) 584 00:28:35,150 --> 00:28:39,700 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 43158

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.