All language subtitles for The Comeback s01e10 Valerie Gets a Magazine Cover

( tone sounds )

Man on TV:
The stars were out in New York last night...

DO YOU WORK OUT A LOT?

WELL I USED TO, YOU KNOW,
THEN I GOT BUSY.

SO WE'VE GOT TO CARVE OUT
TIME FOR IT NOW

'CAUSE GONNA START
A BIG PRESS PUSH, YOU KNOW, FOR "THE COMEBACK."

SO, GOT TO DO IT ALL,
YOU KNOW-- KEEP IN SHAPE, KEEP UP WITH THE NEWS.

- AGH!
- Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore

- and Sarah Jessica Parker...
- ( cell phone rings )

HELLO?

OH, YEAH, NO SURE,
I'LL HOLD. I'LL HOLD.

PUT IN ON SPEAKER.
JANE?

BIG CONFERENCE CALL.
GOT THE, UM...

YOU KNOW, "THE COMEBACK"'S
AD CAMPAIGN.

Woman: This might take
a second, i'm trying to get you all conferenced here.

OH, THAT'S FINE, DARLING.
I'M FINE.

IT'LL TAKE A WHILE
TO GET EVERYBODY... ON THE PHONE.

WHAT DO YOU NEED, DEAR?

WHERE'S MY PURSE?

YOUR PURS--
WELL, I HAD TO--

I HAD TO MOVE IT
FOR MY WORKOUT.

YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN'T PUT THINGS ON THE EQUIPMENT.

- I USE THIS TREADMILL, SO--
- BUT I ALWAYS PUT MY PURSE ON THE EQUIPMENT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, DEAR.
I'M NOT MAD. I KNOW.

WELL, NO, IT'S BACK THERE.

IT'S JUST OVER THERE.
YEAH.

- Man: Val, you there?
- YES I AM.

This is Richard Harris,
Senior VP of Marketing.

- OH.
- And Larry Edwards, Director of Marketing.

Zack Kirstien,
VP of Marketing and Talent Relations.

WELL, HELLO, TEAM.

Richard:
Valerie, we wanted to thank you

for all your calls
about "The Comeback."

It's great that you
care so much.

WELL, THAT'S MY JOB,
YOU KNOW, LARRY.

- Actually, I was
speaking, Val. Richard. - OH, OKAY. SORRY.

- GO ON.
- Zack: So, uh...

we have a great campaign
in the works.

OH GOOD. THAT'S GREAT
'CAUSE I HAVE TO--

TO BE HONEST,
I WAS STARTING TO WORRY A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW?

TWO MONTHS AWAY FROM
"THE COMEBACK" PREMIERE, YOU KNOW, RICHARD.

It's Zack.

I'M SORRY.
OH, YEAH, WELL IT'S HARD TO TELL Y'ALL APART.

( chuckles )
ANYWAY, SO I WAS JUST WONDERING,

- WHEN AM I GOING TO START
TO SEE SOMETHING? - I'M OFF.

- OH.
- Larry: We have a roll-out plan

- we're very excited about.
- I FORGOT MY, UM...

- WHOA! OW!
- OH, MARK!

OH, MARK!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK!

- NO!
- WHAT WAS THE TREADMILL DOING ON?

- SHE WAS WORKING OUT.
- MARK, WHERE DOES IT HURT?

- I CAN'T MOVE
MY FINGERS. - OH MY GOD!

OH MY GOD! ALL RIGHT,
WE HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

- OW.
- OKAY? PHIL, HELP ME GET HIM UP, WILL YOU?

- I'M AL.
- AL, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW, ALL RIGHT?

MARK'S HURT.
COME ON.

- OH MY GOD!
- Mark: WHAT?!

I HUNG UP ON THE ENTIRE
MARKETING DEPARTMENT. JUST HUNG UP ON THEM.

THAT'S AN EMERGENCY.
THEY'LL UNDERSTAND, I THINK. ALL RIGHT.

- LET'S GO.
- OH NO, DON'T TOUCH MY HAND!

DON'T TOUCH HIS HAND, ANYONE!
DON'T ANYONE TOUCH HIS HAND!

OKAY... YOU HAVE
TO GET OUT OF THE WAY, DEAR.

SO HE BROKE
THREE FINGERS.

THREE FINGERS, JANE.

WAIT, WHERE AM I?
WHERE ARE YOU? I DON'T SEE--

NO, WE'RE OUTSIDE.
THEY WOULDN'T LET US COME IN.

OH, YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

WELL, THEY TOLD ME TO WAIT
IN THE WAITING ROOM, SO--

IT'S OKAY.
WE'LL JUST GET WHATEVER WE CAN FROM OUT HERE.

- OKAY.
- DO YOU WANT ME TO COME IN AND SIT WITH YOU?

WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THEN YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO USE ANY OF THIS, RIGHT?

SO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I HAVE A MAGAZINE AND--

YEAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

( sighs )
THREE FINGERS, JANE. THREE.

IT'S AMAZING
WHAT THEY CAN DO WITH FINGERS THESE DAYS.

- YEAH.
- I BROKE THIS ONE AND LOOK.

YEAH. OKAY.

THANKS, JANE.
I APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT.

I REALLY DO.
IT'S HARD.

- I'M SORRY, MISS?
- YEAH.

- NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED.
- OH.

OH BOY, JANE?

OH, IT'S OKAY.
WE HAVE YOU MIKED.

- WE CAN HEAR YOU.
- CAN YOU HEAR ME?

OKAY, GOOD.

( inhales sharply )
I HATE HOSPITALS.

SO...

( gasps )
OH, LOOK AT THAT. THERE'S JUNA.

THAT'S JUNA.
CAN YOU GET THAT?

THERE SHE IS.
MY BABY GIRL.

YOU SEE THAT?
( laughs )

AW.
SO EXCITING FOR HER.

I REMEMBER HOW IT FELT...

WHEN I STARTED SEEING
MY PICTURES IN MAGAZINES, YOU KNOW.

IT'S THRILLING.
IT'S REALLY THRILLING.

AW, HERE SHE IS.

OH LOOK, IT SAYS SHE'S
"TV's FASHION IT GIRL."

ISN'T THAT FUNNY?
'CAUSE I WAS TV's "I'M IT" GIRL.

SMALL WORLD, HUH?
ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

( sighs )

WHY WAS IT ON?

I TOLD YOU, MARK.
I WAS WORKING OUT.

YOU DON'T WORK OUT.

OKAY, I'M NOT GOING
TO DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU

WHEN YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY
HIGH ON PERCOCET.

YOU'RE NOT
THINKING CLEARLY.

JANE, WILL YOU OPEN THE DOOR,
PLEASE? THANK YOU.

- ( sighs ) WOO.
- EASY, TIGER. ( laughs )

Valerie:
YEAH. AND EVERYBODY IN.

( speaks Spanish )

Esperanza:
MR. MARK, HOW ARE YOU?

Valerie:
WELL, NOT SO GOOD I'M AFRAID. BROKE THREE FINGERS.

HEY, ESPERANZA, HOW OFTEN DOES
VAL WORK OUT? NEVER, RIGHT?

PFFT. ALL RIGHT,
MARKY-MARK, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

GO UPSTAIRS? GET INTO BED?
IT'S MORE COMFORTABLE THERE.

- YEAH, THAT'D BE GOOD.
WANNA SLEEP. - GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, LISTEN,
LOVE BALL, I'M GOING TO TUCK YOU INTO BED,

AND I'M GOING TO STAY
RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE ALL DAY, OKAY?

JUST HAVE TO GO
INTO WORK AT 3:30 FOR CAMERA BLOCKING.

- WHY WAS IT ON? ( moans )
- MARK, I TOLD YOU THREE TIMES.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S JUST GET YOU INTO BED.

- JUNA, YOU IN HERE?
- YEAH, HI.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND, HUH?
GOT SOME PRESS.

- ( gasps )
- JUNA MILLKEN IN "US WEEKLY," EVERYBODY.

- ( laughs )
- PETER, IT'S THAT DRESS.

I LOVE
THAT DRESS ON YOU.

- ISN'T THAT FUN?
- OH, WOW, IT'S GREAT. IT'S GREAT.

I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST
GOT PRESS FOR "I'M IT."

"TV GUIDE,"
THE "ONES TO WATCH" SECTION.

- WOW.
- OH MY LORD & TAYLOR.

Mickey:
THAT IS BREATHTAKING.

SO YOU'RE ON THE COVER
OF "ROLLING STONE"?

- YOU'RE ON THE COVER--
IS THAT A REAL COVER? - Woman: IT'S A MOCK-UP.

THE REAL ONE COMES OUT
IN ABOUT TWO TO THREE WEEKS.

- GORGEOUS, YEAH.
- Juna: THANK YOU.

AND VAL, THIS IS
MY PUBLICIST, CAROLINA.

- OH.
- SHE'S THE GREATEST.

YEAH, WELL I GUESS SO.

- OH, HI.
- VALERIE CHERISH. PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

- OH, YOU TOO.
- PLEASURE.

I GUESS I KNOW
WHAT THE PULL QUOTE IS GOING TO BE.

I JUST GOT AN E-MAIL
FROM THE COPY EDITOR OF "ROLLING STONE,"

AND JESSE SAYS YOU HAVE THE,
QUOTE, "HOTTEST WHITE ASS IN HOLLYWOOD!"

- NO!
- Carolina: OH MY GOD! CONGRATULATIONS!

- Juna: THANK YOU.
- SO THEN IT'S AN ARTICLE TOO? THERE'S AN ARTICLE?

- YEAH.
- WOW. OH, BABY GIRL, SO PROUD OF YOU.

- ( giggles ) THANK YOU.
- SO PROUD.

LISTEN, IF YOU EVER NEED ME
TO GET ON THE PHONE WITH ANYONE FOR HER,

MY PLEASURE, OKAY?
AND I PROMISE I'LL MENTION MORE THAN JUST HER ASS.

- Valerie: ALL RIGHT?
- Tom: HEY, PETER?

YOU GOT ANY BIKINIS FOR US
TO APPROVE OF IN HERE?

- All: OH.
- THE PICKS FOR THIS WEEK'S SHOW ON THAT RACK.

- ( Mickey clears throat )
- WHOA WHOA WHOA!

- Tom: OH, WOW!
- Valerie: HOW IS THAT?

- Tom: WOW!
- "GOT MILLKEN?"

- OH, THAT IS--
- I WISH I HAD A COOKIE.

RIGHT.

- GA-GA-GA-GOY!
- FUCKING HOT!

- Valerie: YEAH.
- THAT IS FUCKING-- NOW LOOK AT YOU.

- Paulie G: YOU ARE
FUCKING HOT, LADY. - Juna: OH, THANK YOU.

- Tom: WOW, THAT IS AMAZING.
- ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

LOOKS LIKE THAT,
EATS LIKE THAT.

- ( giggles )
- I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

YOU'RE MY KIND OF WOMAN.
LOOK AT THAT!

- THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
- JUNA, THIS IS--

- THIS IS REALLY--
- IT'S SO GREAT FOR THE SHOW.

- Tom: YEAH.
- I WAS JUST TALKING TO MARKETING THIS MORNING

TELLING THEM
I'VE GOT TO DO MORE PRESS FOR "ROOM & BORED"

AND "THE COMEBACK."
YOU KNOW, JUST GOT TO GET THE WORD OUT THERE.

OH, VAL! YOU SHOULD TALK
TO CAROLINA, BECAUSE YOU GUYS

- ARE REALLY SMART
AND NICE-- - YEAH.

- I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN
THIS COVER WITHOUT HER. - YEAH, NO, SHE'S GOOD.

"ROLLING STONE," DUDE.
THAT'S SO FUCKING COOL.

- PLEASE TELL ME YOU MENTIONED
THE NAME OF THE SHOW. - SHE DID, A THOUSAND TIMES,

- AND NOW THE RECORD COMPANY'S
ALL PISSED OFF. - I'M SORRY.

WE REALLY SHOULD TALK,
YOU KNOW,

- 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE. - OH SURE.

- YOU WANNA?
- SURE.

- YOU WANT TO SET UP A MEETING,
OR-- HERE, TAKE THAT. - SURE. OH.

- ( phones ringing )
- Receptionist: FLASH P.R.

FLASH P.R.

OBVIOUSLY CAROLINA'S
REAL BUSY,

WHICH IS A GOOD SIGN.
MEANS SHE'S WORKING FOR HER CLIENTS.

IT'S BEEN 15 MINUTES.

PUNCTUALITY IS IMPORTANT.

IT SAYS THAT YOU UNDERSTAND
PEOPLE'S TIME IS VALUABLE.

YEAH, MICKEY.
YOU GOT TO CUT PEOPLE SLACK SOMETIMES.

- YOU'RE TOO NICE.
- Receptionist: VALERIE?

- YEAH.
- CAROLINA'S READY TO SEE YOU.

OH, OKAY.
SEE, HERE WE GO.

SO WHEN I WAS ON "I'M IT,"
I ENDED UP DOING, I THINK FIVE--

OH NO, SIX MAGAZINE COVERS.

- OH WOW.
- YEAH, I RAN THE WHOLE GAMUT, YOU KNOW,

FROM "REDBOOK"
TO "CIGAR AFICIONADO," YOU KNOW.

- THAT ONE WAS REAL FUN.
REAL DEPARTURE FOR ME. - REALLY?

- I WORE MY HAIR UP.
I HAD THE CIGAR. - ( both laugh )

WELL THAT'S REALLY SMART.
HERE AT FLASH P.R., WE REALLY BELIEVE

- IN ROUNDING OUT
AN ACTOR'S IMAGE. - UH-HUH.

LIKE WHAT WE DID FOR JUNA.
WE START OUT WITH

AN INCREDIBLY SEXY
"ROLLING STONE" COVER, BUT THEN WE'RE GONNA--

BY THE WAY,
CONGRATULATIONS.

JUST GREAT WORK
WITH JUNA ON THAT.

THANK YOU.
WELL, YOU KNOW, TRUTHFULLY,

- I DIDN'T EVEN
DO ANYTHING. - AWW.

THAT WAS A SHOT
FROM AN INSIDE PIECE ABOUT UP AND COMING ROCK BANDS.

AND THEY SAW THE PHOTO,
IMMEDIATE COVER.

- YEAH.
- ALL I HAD TO DO WAS SAY YES TO STOP THE BEGGING.

WELL, YOU SEEM TERRIFIC
AT WHAT YOU DO.

- OH, THANKS.
- YOU KNOW, REAL SPECIAL.

SO I THINK THIS WOULD
BE FUN TO GIVE THIS A WHIRL, YOU AND ME.

OH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

BUT MY PARTNER AND ME,
WE AREN'T TAKING ON ANY MORE CLIENTS AT THIS TIME.

I SORT OF DID THIS MEETING
AS A FAVOR TO JUNA,

BUT WE ONLY TAKE
ONE OR TWO CLIENTS A YEAR

- AND WE REALLY TRY TO STICK
WITH UP-AND-COMERS. - YEAH.

I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS A GOOD MATCH IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I WAS ALSO JUST--
DIDN'T WANT TO HURT JUNA'S OR YOUR FEELINGS, YOU KNOW.

- THANKS.
- SO, YEAH. HAVE SOMEONE ELSE IN MIND ANYWAY.

- OH, OKAY.
- GREAT TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO YOU.

- KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
- THANKS.

OOPS.

JANE, GOT TO GET OUT.

Jane:
I JUST NEED TO GET THE CAMERA.

ALL RIGHT, WATCH OUT.

( giggles )
IT'S ALWAYS...

WATCH THE CABLE.

- ( door shuts )
- WELL, YEAH.

OH, DID YOU HEAR THAT, JANE?
"PARTNER AND ME"?

SHE SAID
"PARTNER AND ME."

SHOULD BE "PARTNER AND I,"
YOU KNOW.

A PUBLICIST IS ESSENTIALLY
YOUR SPOKESPERSON--

SO, SHOULD KNOW
HOW TO SPEAK.

- RIGHT, JANE?
- YEAH.

YEAH.

- WELL?
- OH NO, NOT FOR ME.

YEAH, JUST NOT
A GAL'S GAL, YOU KNOW.

SOME WOMEN ARE JUST
REAL THREATENED

BY OTHER VERY STRONG WOMEN,
YOU KNOW.

HATE TO PUT IT OUT THERE,
BUT IT'S TRUE.

DIDN'T WANT
TO SAY ANYTHING, RED,

BUT ANYONE WITH HAIR
LIKE THAT-- HUH-UH, NO.

IF IT WERE ANY DRIER,
THERE'D BE A BRUSHFIRE.

( laughs )
VERY GOOD.

JUNA'S GOT THE RIGHT IDEA
THOUGH, YOU KNOW.

GOT TO GET A PUBLICIST.
JUST GOT TO.

YOU KNOW WHO WAS GREAT?
RYAN?

- WHO'S RYAN?
- RYAN, YOU KNOW,

THAT ADORABLE PUBLICIST
FROM "IT." RYAN.

- LOU?
- RIGHT, YEAH.

I KNOW HIS NAME IS LOU,
BUT I CALLED HIM RYAN...

'CAUSE HE LOOKED
LIKE RYAN O'NEIL.

SO, WELL THAT WAS
OUR THING.

THAT WAS MY THING WITH HIM.
ANYWAY, HE GOT ME.

HE REALLY GOT ME.
YOU KNOW, I THINK IT WAS 'CAUSE HE WAS GAY.

- GOT THE NUANCES MORE.
YOU KNOW? - MM-HMM.

YEAH, GOT TO GET ME
A GAY, MICKEY.

GOTTA GET A GAY.
WHY DON'T I JUST CALL LOU?

OH, RED, HE DIED.
IN '94, I THINK.

OH, NO.
DID HE HAVE--

NO! HIT BY A CAR
CROSSING BARHAM.

OH, GOOD.

NOT-- NOT GOOD
THAT HE DIED.

I WOULD LOVE
TO WORK WITH YOU.

- OH.
- AND WHO WOULDN'T?

WHO ELSE HAS GOT
TWO SHOWS ON THE NETWORK AT THE SAME TIME?

- THAT'S--
- NO ONE.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
I WAS SAYING TO MICKEY IN THE CAR ON THE WAY OVER HERE.

MICKEY, WASN'T I-- OH.
( laughs )

SORRY, HE'S
A LITTLE DISTRACTED.

DON'T THINK HE'S EVER EATEN
NEXT TO TWO G.I. JOE'S BEFORE.

( both laugh )

- YOU'RE HILARIOUS.
- I'D LIKE TO THINK SO.

- OH, THINK SO.
- ( laughs ) GOOD.

MICKEY, DID YOU HEAR ME?

- NAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- WELL LOOK, I ALREADY KNOW I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU.

AND YOU JUST HAVE TO DECIDE
IF YOU WANT TO WORK WITH ME.

- RIGHT.
- SO... GOALS.

OKAY, UM...

OKAY, LET'S SEE.
GOAL #1:

I WANT TO DO A LENO
BEFORE THE PREMIERE OF "THE COMEBACK."

I KNOW THE GUY
WHO BOOKS IT, SO WE CAN GET THAT BALL ROLLING.

GREAT! OKAY.
SO IMPRESSED.

YEAH, WELL,
IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. GO AHEAD.

( laughs )
OKAY, UM...

- SO NUMERO UNO, LENO.
- RIGHT.

AND THEN MAGAZINES.
YOU KNOW, I WANT TO GET COVERS.

OH YEAH, GREAT.
LET'S SEE VALERIE CHERISH OUTSIDE OF THAT RUNNING SUIT.

- MM-HMM.
- WHICH IS HILARIOUS. DON'T GET ME WRONG,

- BUT COME ON.
YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. - OH, THANK YOU.

BUT EXACTLY.
EXACTLY, YEAH.

OH, BILLY,
YOU'RE REALLY FANTASTIC.

- THANKS.
- YOU REALLY ARE, YOU KNOW.

AND PMK IS A TOP NOTCH
PUBLICITY FIRM, SO--

YEAH, I LEFT PMK.

- ( stammers )
YOU-- YOU DID, JUST-- - RIGHT.

RIGHT AFTER WE TALKED
ON THE PHONE?

I'M STARTING MY OWN COMPANY
AND SEVEN OTHER CLIENTS CAME WITH ME.

- WHICH IS--
- WOW, COULD I--

- COULD I KNOW
WHO THEY ARE? - JOSH SCOTT.

- DO YOU KNOW HIM?
- NO, I DON'T.

UM...
AND ELLEN PRICE JUST--

I DON'T--
I DON'T.

( stammers )
COULD I ASK WHY YOU LEFT?

WELL, I'M NOT GOING TO LIE.

THEY PROMOTED
SOMEONE YOUNGER. THE END.

WASN'T HAVING IT.

YEAH, WELL.

YEAH, MY ONLY CONCERN
WOULD BE JUST, YOU KNOW,

YOUR START-UP TIME,
YOU KNOW,

- AND THEN I'VE
GOT MY NEEDS HERE. - RIGHT, BUT VALERIE,

NO ONE WILL WORK
HARDER FOR YOU.

I MEAN, I KNOW WHAT
YOU NEED TO HAVE DONE AND I CAN DO THAT.

- Jane: VALERIE?
- YEAH.

I'M SORRY, COULD YOU STOP?
THERE'S A LOOKY LOO.

- Billy: OH.
- OH!

ALL RIGHT, VERY FUNNY.
COULD YOU MOVE, PLEASE?

- GO!
- COULD YOU JUST NOT BE THERE?

CAN YOU GO SOMEWHERE ELSE?
OH, HE'S OBNOXIOUS.

- SHOULD WE JUST
MOVE TO ANOTHER-- - I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

YOU CAN'T.

HI, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO MOVE.

WE'RE FILMING
A REALITY SHOW AND YOU CAN'T BE HERE.

- KISS MY ASS, PUNK.
- YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE WEST HOLLYWOOD POLICE?

- BECAUSE THEN--
- OH NO, YOU'RE GOING TO CALL THEM ON YOUR PHONE, FAGGOT?

Billy:
WE'RE GOOD, JANE.

YOU SEE THAT?
THAT'S A PUBLICIST.

- ( door opens )
- THAT'S THE GUY WHO'S GOING TO GET ME COVERS.

HERE YOU GO.
ONE BEAUTIFUL TOSSED SALAD WITH FRESHLY GRILLED CHICKEN.

- THANK YOU.
- WELL MY PLEASURE, TREASURE.

THERE YOU GO.
IS THAT MY SIMON PEARCE CARVING FORK?

YOU'RE USING THAT
AS A SCRATCHING DEVICE?!

- NOT VERY SANITARY, DEAR.
- IT ITCHES.

WELL, THAT'S A GOOD THING.
MEANS IT'S HEALING.

- ( inhales sharply )
- ( whispers ) PLEASE TAKE IT OUT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT'S WRONG?

- COULD YOU CUT IT UP?
- OF COURSE, YEAH!

SURE CAN.

THAT'S FOR ME.

( Mark groans )

SMALLER, LIKE
THE CHOPPED SALAD AT LA SCALA.

- ( cell phone ringing )
- CAN DO.

Mark:
I'M EXPECTING A CONFERENCE CALL.

NO, THAT'S MINE.
AND MARK, YOU SHOULD...

REALLY... LAY OFF THE BUSINESS
TILL YOU'RE OFF THE PERCOCET.

( laughs )
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A LITTLE OUT OF IT.

- HELLO?
- Valerie, it's Billy.

OH HI, BILLY.
HI.

- Got some good news.
- OH YEAH? WHAT'S UP?

WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?
HIT ME WITH IT.

- DO WE HAVE ANY
PEPPERONCINIS? - BILLY, ONE SECOND.

- WHAT IS IT, MARK?
- DO WE HAVE THOSE PEPPERONCINIS THAT I LIKE?

OH YEAH, NO, YEAH.
I THINK WE HAVE THOSE.

I THINK WE HAVE-- ALL RIGHT,
I THINK WE HAVE THOSE.

I MARRIED HIM
FOR BETTER OR WORSE, NOT FOR LUNCH.

( laughs )
OKAY, BILLY, WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?

All right,
I got you a cover.

WELL, THAT IS EXCITING!

WELL THERE YOU GO.
WHAT'S IT FOR? "REDBOOK"?

Well, no, they're
definitely into it,

but not until they see
how "The Comeback" does.

OKAY, WELL THAT'S GREAT.
THAT'S STILL GREAT. WOW.

SO WHAT MAGAZINE
IS IT FOR?

"Be Yoga."

I'M SORRY.
"BE YOGA"?

BILLY, I'VE NEVER HEARD
OF "BE YOGA."

Well it's new
and it's got a hip, trendy skew, so--

- WELL, WE LIKE THAT.
- Right?

And you're
on the stands A.S.A.P.

OH, WE LOVE THAT!

Uh, do you do yoga?

WELL, I HAVEN'T FOR A WHILE,
BUT I COULD TAKE ONE CLASS AND JUST, YOU KNOW,

- GET UP TO SPEED, YEAH.
- Great.

- YOU DON'T DO YOGA.
- YES, I DID, MARK! I DID DO YOGA, OKAY?

( stammers )
AT THAT PLACE-- PRANA SOMETHING

ON CRESCENT HEIGHTS.
OKAY,

- HERE ARE YOUR PEPPERONCINIS.
- THANK YOU.

WELL THAT'S GREAT, BILLY.
WHEN DO THEY WANT TO DO IT?

Billy:
Well, they want to start as quickly as possible,

so we can get it out there
as fast as possible.

- They've already booked
a great photographer. - I HAVE AN IDEA.

( inhales deeply )

WELL, THE UNIVERSE
HAS SHOWN ME THE WAY.

THE YOGA COVER,
EVEN MARK'S INJURY...

THEY'RE ALL SIGNS...

TO GET OFF THE TREADMILL.
( inhales deeply )

THAT DANGEROUS TREADMILL
THAT KEEPS YOU RUNNING.

TO WHAT?

FROM WHAT?

SO I'VE DECIDED
TO LET IT ALL GO.

I'M GOING TO FOCUS
ON THE INSIDE.

FOCUS ON WHAT'S
REALLY IMPORTANT.

ME.

MY... CENTER.

- MY--
- Mark: VAL?

CAN YOU HELP ME? I CAN'T
GET THE TOP OFF THIS!

WELL, I'M IN
THE BATHTUB, MARK.

OH, OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I NEED A TOWEL 'CAUSE MY HANDS ARE WET.

OH, OKAY.

A LITTLE TOWEL.
YEAH, CAREFUL.

OKAY, WELL THAT'S
GOOD ENOUGH I GUESS. HERE, TAKE THAT,

AND I'LL...

OKAY, THERE YOU GO,
DARLING.

- THANK YOU.
- ALL BETTER.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'M JUST GOING
TO LEAVE A LITTLE PAUSE FOR EDITING, OKAY?

( inhales sharply )

SO I'VE DECIDED TO GET RID
OF MY WORK OUT ROOM

AND CREATE A WORK IN ROOM.

- GONNA CREATE A ZEN SPACE.
- ( pills fall )

- Mark: GOD DAMN IT!
- WHAT'S WRONG?!

I JUST DROPPED
ALL THE PERCOCET!

( sighs )

ALL RIGHT,
LET ME HELP YOU.

OOH, I'M COMING.

ARE YOU WEARING
A BATHING SUIT IN THE BATHTUB?

YES, MARK.
YES, I AM.

- WHY?
- BECAUSE I DON'T DO NUDITY.

Valerie: WOW.

I LIKE TO BUILD
AROUND THE BUDDHA.

ONCE YOU CHOOSE THAT,
IT WILL INFORM WHAT WE DO ON THE REST OF THE ROOM.

INTERESTING.
IS THAT WHAT YOU DID WITH GOLDIE?

UM, ADAM DESIGNED
GOLDIE HAWN'S ZEN ROOM.

I PREFER NOT TO DISCUSS
MY CLIENT LIST.

OH SURE, YEAH.

AS LONG AS YOU DON'T
HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PUBLICITY, THOUGH,

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
THIS ZEN ROOM

GOT ME A THREE-PAGE SPREAD
IN "BE YOGA."

NO-- YEAH, YEAH.
I'M THRILLED, I'M THRILLED,

I'D JUST RATHER NOT...
TALK ABOUT--

I GOT YOU, NO.
I GOT YOU, YEAH.

I HEARD SHE PUT HER OSCAR
IN HER ZEN ROOM. IS THAT TRUE?

- NO, I GOT IT.
YEAH, I GOT IT. - YEAH, THANK YOU.

JUST THAT I'M CONSIDERING,
YOU KNOW, DOING THE SAME THING WITH MY PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARD.

- OH RIGHT.
- MS. VAL?

- YEAH?
- WHERE DO I PUT THE SCRIBBLE?

IT'S SCRABBLE, DEAR.
IT'S CALLED SCRABBLE.

AND YEAH, IT ALL
GOES IN BOXES.

EVERYTHING GOES IN BOXES
AND OUT OF HERE.

WANT THIS
WHOLE ROOM CLEANED OUT. FREE OF ATTACHMENTS.

- HMM.
- YOU KNOW.

- SO, UM... WHICH BUDDHA
DO YOU PREFER? - YEAH.

UH...

WELL, NOT THAT ONE.
TOO SCARY. ( laughs )

AND THAT ONE'S TOO SMALL.

THIS ONE IS JUST RIGHT,
I THINK.

( giggling )
I SOUND LIKE GOLDIE HAWN.

GOLDILOCKS!

I CAN'T GET HER
OUT OF MY HEAD.

- Mark: WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!
- WE'RE IN HERE, MARK!

THAT WAS A FUN, LITTLE--

THAT'S IT.
THAT'S THE ONE.

- SO HOW WAS
YOUR FIRST DAY BACK? - FINE.

GOOD, GREAT.
MARK, THIS IS ADAM MAYA.

- HE'S THE INTERIOR DESIGNER.
- IT'S A PLEASURE.

OW, WHAT HAPPENED?

- I FELL OFF
A TREADMILL. - YEAH.

- Adam: WORKING OUT?
- SURE.

LOOK AT THESE!
WOW, ALREADY, HUH?

WELL, SURE, YEAH.
WE'RE ON A DEADLINE, YOU KNOW.

PHOTO SHOOT'S
IN FOUR DAYS.

SO ADAM AND I
WERE JUST...

TALKING ABOUT
WHICH BUDDHA. BUDDHA?

BUDDA, BUDHA
( stammers )

- WHATEVER YOU'RE
COMFORTABLE WITH. - OH, OKAY.

- I THINK BUDDHA'S BETTER.
- THAT'S GREAT.

YEAH.

SO, WE THINK THIS ONE,
MARK.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- SURE, HOW MUCH?

( laughs )

- MARK, YOU CAN'T PUT
A PRICE TAG ON SPIRITUALITY. - YES, I CAN.

- HOW MUCH?
- IT'S $12,000.

$12,000. DOES IT COME
WITH ITS OWN CAR?

- ( Adam and Valerie laugh )
- IT'S FROM THE 16th CENTURY.

- OH, IS IT?
- YEAH.

WOW. WELL, YEAH.
THAT'S A LOT THOUGH. THAT IS A LOT.

- WHAT ABOUT THE SCARY ONE.
HOW MUCH IS THAT? - $1,500.00.

AT LEAST THE PRICE
ISN'T SCARY, HUH? ( laughs )

- WHY DON'T I LET YOU TWO
TALK ABOUT IT? - ALL RIGHT.

I'LL RUN OUT AND GET
SOME WOOD SAMPLES FOR THE FLOOR.

THANK YOU,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YEAH.

WE'RE NOT
CHANGING THE FLOORS.

- NOT NECESSARY--
- ALL RIGHT, I DON'T KNOW, VAL.

- YEAH, WHAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.

YOU AGREED TWO DAYS AGO
TO DO THIS.

YEAH, I WAS HIGH AS A KITE.
YOU DON'T EVEN DO YOGA.

I DID DO YOGA, MARK!

- HATHA-- HATHA YOGA.
- WHEN?

BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED,
OKAY, I DID THINGS!

$50,000,
LIKE WE DISCUSSED.

ALL RIGHT, I WILL TRY
TO KEEP THE PRICE DOWN.

BUT THIS IS A RUSH JOB
AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT, YOU KNOW.

Esperanza:
MISS VAL, WHAT ARE THESE?

THAT'S WHERE THOSE ARE!
OH!

JANE, OH.
JANE, WAIT TILL YOU SEE THIS.

( laughs )
OH MY GOD.

HELLO HELLO HELLO!

- HI!
- OH, I'M SORRY.

- THAT'S OKAY, COME ON IN.
- COME ON, COME ON.

- I JUST WANTED TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING FUN. - SURE.

SO, YOU KNOW, I'M DOING
THE COVER OF "BE YOGA."

- ( gasps )
YOU ARE? - YEAH.

- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DID YOGA.
- OH YEAH, JUST GETTING BACK INTO IT.

- I HAVE A PRIVATE CLASS
AT HOME ON SATURDAY. - OH, THAT'S GREAT.

- CAN YOU BELIEVE
I'VE NEVER DONE YOGA BEFORE? - YOU SHOULD COME ON SATURDAY.

- OH.
- YEAH, JOIN IN. MICKEY'S JOINING.

- WE'LL SEE.
- WELL, WE WILL.

I WOULD LOVE THAT, VAL.
THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT.

- GREAT! THE MORE
THE MERRIER. TRULY. - YEAH, OKAY.

SO ANYWAY, I WAS THROWING OUT
SOME STUFF, YOU KNOW,

LETTING GO OF OLD ATTACHMENTS--
IT'S AN IMPORTANT THOUGHT IN YOGA.

- OKAY.
- YEAH. SO ANYWAY,

I FOUND THIS.
( laughs )

( gasps )
OH MY GOD! VAL!

THAT IS FANTASTIC!

CHECK OUT THAT HAIR!
SO '80s!

YEAH, ISN'T IT?
ISN'T IT FUN?

- I DID IT THE YEAR
"I'M IT" CAME OUT, SO... - WOW.

GIRL, YOU PANTS ARE UNDONE.

- I KNOW!
- LOOK AT IT! THE TOP OF HER JEANS ARE UNSNAPPED.

Juna:
VAL, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I KNOW.
IT'S SO RISQUE, HUH?

RISQUE, UH-HUH.
AUNT SASSY, YOU NASTY.

( all laughing )

- Tom: PETER? PETER?
- OOPS!

- SORRY, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.
MORE CHANGES HERE. - Juna: TOM.

- THIS ONE'S FOR YOU.
- TOM, YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS POSTER.

PLEASE, VAL?
IT IS SO HOT.

OH--
OH MY...

- ( girls laughing )
- Tom: VAL.

( laughs )
YOU HAD A ROCKIN' BODY.

- WELL, ALWAYS HAVE
KEPT MYSELF IN SHAPE. - LOOK--

- LOOK, PAULIE DOESN'T
KNOW WHAT TO SAY. - ( girls laugh )

MAN.
( chuckles )

- Tom: WOW!
- COULDN'T HANDLE THE SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN US.

( all laugh )

GIRL, I HAVE GOT
TO HAVE THIS.

- YOU GOING TO
PUT IT UP SOMEWHERE? - YES, HONEY, PLEASE.

JUNA AND I CAN BE
THE POSTER TWINS.

- Peter: YES, HONEY.
POSTER TWINS. - Juna: EXACTLY.

- ( hammering, sawing )
- LET'S TRY THE WARRIOR POSE ONCE AGAIN.

- ALL RIGHT.
- JUST COME INTO THE LUNGE.

ARMS OUT TO THE SIDE.
EYES FRONT.

NOW JUST...
LET YOUR HIPS RELAX.

- WHOA! OOH!
- SORRY.

THERE WERE RELAXED.
THEN YOU TOUCHED ME, THREW ME ALL OFF.

- Valerie: THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
- THIS IS HARD.

THEN GO TO CHILD'S POSE,
JUNA.

IF ANYTHING'S
EVER TOO PAINFUL, JUST STEP AWAY FROM IT.

I DON'T NEED
AN ENGRAVED INVITATION.

CHILD'S POSE
IS A WONDERFUL POSE.

IT MASSAGES THE ORGANS
AND STRETCHES THE HIPS AND BUTTOCKS.

- Juna: OH,
THAT FEELS SO GOOD. - ( saw buzzing )

JUST LET THE NOISE
MOVE THROUGH YOU.

- YEAH. I KNOW.
- JUST ACKNOWLEDGE IT AND LET IT GO.

- Jane: VALERIE?
- YEAH.

WE REALLY HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THE POUNDING.

JANE, JUST ACKNOWLEDGE IT
AND LET IT GO THROUGH YOU.

OKAY, BUT WE'RE
NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO USE ANY OF IT.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH...

'CAUSE OF THE CAMERAS.
EXCUSE ME!

HI, COULD YOU HOLD THE WORK
JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES?

THANK YOU,
THANK YOU. ALL RIGHT, GOOD.

- NOW, ALL RIGHT.
- ( noises stop )

GOOD.
NOW, VALERIE...

- JUST...
- ( moans )

- KEEP IT STRAIGHT.
- THE THIGHS. MY THIGHS.

YEAH, WARRIOR POSE
IS A VERY CHALLENGING POSE.

WARRIOR TWO.
THIS ONE'S WARRIOR TWO.

- THAT'S RIGHT.
- YEAH.

- OKAY, BEND BEND.
- YEAH.

OH, THIS ISN'T GOOD.
THIS ISN'T GOOD.

LET'S SEE... OKAY.
( inhales sharply )

- ( moans )
- STRAIGHTEN YOUR RIGHT LEG.

- OH, I USED TO BE
ABLE TO DO THIS. - WELL, YOU KNOW,

TRY AND ACCEPT
WHERE YOU ARE NOW, YOU KNOW?

YOGA'S ABOUT ACCEPTING
YOUR LIMITATIONS.

OKAY, NO.
JUST--

DON'T WORRY.
YOU'LL GET THERE EVENTUALLY.

MIA, DARLING, I DON'T
HAVE TIME TO "GET THERE EVENTUALLY," OKAY?

I'M SHOOTING THE COVER
OF A YOGA MAGAZINE TOMORROW.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA
BE ON THE COVER OF A YOGA MAGAZINE?

YEAH, I NEED YOU
TO COACH ME A POSE THAT I'M GONNA LOOK GOOD DOING.

- JESUS, WE HAVE
WORK TO DO. - YEAH.

( shutter clicking )

- I THOUGHT YOU SAID
SHE COULD DO YOGA. - THAT IS YOGA.

WE SHOULD STOP
AND TRY THIS AGAIN.

STOP, YOU SAID,
"STOP"? YEAH.

MICKEY, EVERYTHING HURTS,
EVERYTHING HURTS, EVERYTHING HURTS.

VAL, SWEETIE,
GOT A QUESTION. UM, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

- HMM-MM.
- YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE IN A LOT OF PAIN, RIGHT?

PRACTICING THIS F-ING POSE
ALL NIGHT, WOKE UP THIS MORNING, COULDN'T MOVE.

- WANT ME
TO GET YOU SOME ADVIL? - I ALREADY TOOK SIX.

WELL, WHAT IF WE TRY
A DIFFERENT POSE?

IT'S GOTTA BE THIS POSE.
IT'S GOTTA BE THIS POSE.

IT'S THE MOST FLATTERING
FOR MY BODY AND MY HAIR IS DONE FOR IT.

- RIGHT RIGHT.
- EVERYTHING ALL WORKS... TOGETHER.

WOULD ANYONE CARE
TO TRY THIS AGAIN?

- COUNT ME IN.
- YEAH?

- YEAH.
- LET ME RUB THE BUDDHA'S BELLY FOR LUCK.

ALL RIGHT.

- Valerie: OKAY OKAY...
- Billy: SHE'S GOT IT.

( chuckles )
OKAY. AH.

YEAH, THERE SHE GOES.

LOOK, SHE OVERTRAINED
FOR THIS LAST NIGHT,

SO SHE'S IN A LOT
OF PAIN, BUT SHE--

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH
PAIN SHE'S IN,

YOU HAVE TO GET THIS POSE
EXACTLY RIGHT.

WELL, JUST...
GETTING THERE, OKAY?

MY YOGI SAID
THAT YOGA IS ABOUT

ACCEPTING WHERE YOU ARE.
THIS IS WHERE I AM.

THIS IS NOT YOGA,
THIS IS A YOGA MAGAZINE COVER.

YEAH, I HEAR YOU,
I HEAR YOU

AND IT'S GETTING THERE.
IT IS GETTING THERE.

YEAH, MY MUSCLES
JUST NEED TO WARM UP. THEY'RE LOOSENING UP.

I CAN FEEL IT, YEAH.
IT'S BETTER NOW.

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO--

( inhales deeply )

( grunts in pain )

OKAY, THIS IS
NOT HAPPENING.

IT'S CALLED "BE YOGA"
BECAUSE SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO YOGA.

LOOK, SHE'S GUARANTEED
THIS COVER.

- SHE ISN'T GUARANTEED SHIT.
- HEY.

- WHAT THE FUCK
IS WRONG WITH YOU? - HEY NOW, THIS IS A ZEN ROOM.

ALL RIGHT?
IT'S A PLACE OF PEACE. ( inhales )

OKAY? I DIDN'T PAY $63,000
TO HAVE IT ALL BUSTED UP.

NOW I CAN DO THIS,
I CAN DO THIS.

I DID THIS POSE
PERFECTLY YESTERDAY.

NOW JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE,
I JUST NEED A MINUTE.

I HAVE TO FIND
MY CENTER, OKAY? MICKEY.

GO GET ME A COUPLE
OF MARK'S PERCOCETS.

UM, THREE.

( New Age music playing )

Valerie:
IT LOOKS NICE.

( chuckles )
CAME OUT GOOD.

( cell phone ringing )

OH. HI, BILLY.

Billy:
Hey, Val, did you see the photo in "Us Weekly"?

OH YEAH, YEAH,
I GOT IT RIGHT HERE.

- Pretty good, huh?
- YEAH, IT'S GREAT.

"Juna Millken goes
to her friend Valerie Cherish's house for yoga."

I KNOW, THERE IT IS
IN PRINT.

IT'S GREAT, IT'S JUST GREAT.
I JUST DON'T REMEMBER IF I--

- GOOD MORNING, MISS VAL.
- MORNING, ESPERANZA.

IF I, YOU KNOW,
MET HER AT THE DOOR,

'CAUSE PAPARAZZIS
OUTSIDE MY HOUSE.

COULD BE A PICTURE
OF ME FLOATING AROUND OUT THERE SOMEWHERE.

Well, there'll be more,
'cause "La Parent" still has an outstanding offer,

and I'm on the phone
with "Brentwood Magazine." I'm trading right now.

"BRENTWOOD MAGAZINE"?
IS THAT FOR A COVER?

We're talking
about it, you know, they owe me a phone call.

THAT'S GREAT.
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT "LA PARENT," IT'S FREE.

It's free, but everyone
gets it, they've got a huge circulation.

Oh, you know what,
my assistant just IM'd me

that there might be
a mention of "Room and Bored" in "People."

- OH REALLY?
I THINK I HAVE THAT. - So I'll check it out

- and get that to you.
- I THINK I HAVE THAT.

( stutters )
ALL RIGHT, BYE.

"PEOPLE."
THAT'S NOT "PEOPLE."

I MUST HAVE--
I HAVE "PEOPLE" HERE, JANE--

REMEMBER? DID I GET IT?
DIDN'T I BUY "PEOPLE"?

DIDN'T I GET "PEOPLE"?
JANE?

( paper crinkling )

HERE IT IS,
THIS IS IT. OKAY.

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