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1
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:21,600
OKAY, ARE YOU GUYS
READY TO MEET THE CAST OF "ROOM AND BORED"?
2
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:23,100
( crowd cheering )
3
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:25,767
OH, COME ON.
YOU CAN DO A BETTER JOB THAN THAT.
4
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:27,767
ARE YOU READY
TO MEET THE CAST
5
00:00:27,834 --> 00:00:30,000
OF "ROOM AND BORED"?
6
00:00:30,066 --> 00:00:33,166
- ( audience cheering )
- ( jazz playing )
7
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,266
Jane:
VALERIE, HOW YOU FEELING?
8
00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:37,700
OH, SO EXCITED.
9
00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:40,433
SHOW NIGHT'S ALWAYS
SO EXCITING, YOU KNOW.
10
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,000
JUST CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT
THERE IN FRONT OF THE PEOPLE
11
00:00:43,066 --> 00:00:44,900
AND JUST DO OUR
VERY VERY BEST.
12
00:00:44,967 --> 00:00:48,266
- Warmup man:
HERE HE IS, CHRIS MACNESS. - IT'S MAGICAL.
13
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:54,033
- CHRIS JUST
DID A BACKFLIP. - Announcer: A BACKFLIP!
14
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:56,533
MY GOD, THEY LOVE HIM
OUT THERE.
15
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,533
JESSE, ON "I'M IT,"
16
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,934
THE LAST TWO OF US OUT
ALWAYS USED TO DO THE ROBOT.
17
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,433
YOU KNOW, THAT ROBOT DANCE?
YOU KNOW?
18
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:06,734
THE AUDIENCE LOVED IT.
YOU WANNA-- MAYBE THAT WOULD BE CUTE.
19
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,066
NO, I'M NOT
GONNA DO THE ROBOT. THAT'S LIKE 100 YEARS OLD.
20
00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:11,967
YEAH, THAT'S WHY
IT WAS FUNNY.
21
00:01:12,033 --> 00:01:14,266
- Juna:
HAVE A GREAT SHOW, GUYS. - YOU TOO.
22
00:01:16,734 --> 00:01:18,600
WHEN I GO OUT,
I'LL BOW,
23
00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,667
AND THEN I COULD
SMACK YOU ON THE BUTT.
24
00:01:20,734 --> 00:01:23,233
- MAYBE GIVE YOU A SWAT?
- YEAH, COOL.
25
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:26,500
- AND I'LL SWAT YOU BACK?
- WELL, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
26
00:01:26,567 --> 00:01:28,266
AND WE'LL JUST BOW.
LET'S JUST BOW.
27
00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:30,200
- IT'D BE COOL.
- WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
28
00:01:30,266 --> 00:01:33,467
WE'LL JUST BOW.
OH, THERE YOU GO.
29
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:36,834
Warmup man:
OH, THERE HE IS. MAN.
30
00:01:37,734 --> 00:01:39,567
HE'S JUST A KID,
YOU KNOW?
31
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,467
HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT,
YOU KNOW, WITH COMEDY,
32
00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:45,567
YOU KNOW, IT REQUIRES
A VERY DELICATE TOUCH, YOU KNOW?
33
00:01:45,633 --> 00:01:47,567
AND PEOPLE LIKE
VALERIE CHERISH
34
00:01:47,633 --> 00:01:49,800
AND THEY DON'T
WANT TO SEE HER BRUTALIZED.
35
00:01:49,867 --> 00:01:53,166
- Warmup man: ...LAST
BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST. - TAKEN CARE OF IT.
36
00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:55,133
YOU LOVED HER AS THE STAR
OF "I'M IT,"
37
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,000
HERE SHE IS...
38
00:01:57,066 --> 00:01:59,033
VALERIE CHERISH!
39
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,166
( audience cheering loudly )
40
00:02:01,233 --> 00:02:03,800
YES YES.
41
00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:05,834
YES.
42
00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:07,533
YOU ARE CORRECT.
43
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,800
YOU ARE RIGHT.
44
00:02:09,867 --> 00:02:12,400
A-- WHOA!
45
00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:14,533
- WOO-HOO!
- I GOT YOU!
46
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,500
HEY!
47
00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:19,633
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL
FORBIDDEN LOVE.
48
00:02:19,700 --> 00:02:23,266
HOW DO I GET
THAT JOB, HUH? OKAY.
49
00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:26,567
PLACES, EVERYONE!
PLACES FOR THE "A" SCENE!
50
00:02:26,633 --> 00:02:28,033
HAIR AND MAKEUP.
LAST LOOKS.
51
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,600
Warmup man:
GUESS WHO JUST WON THEIR WAY INTO MY HEART?
52
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:32,633
- Valerie: HERE WE GO.
- YOU GUYS!
53
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,667
IF I KNEW I WAS GONNA
HAVE TO RUN,
54
00:02:34,734 --> 00:02:36,400
I WOULDN'T HAVE WORN
MY CLOGS.
55
00:02:36,467 --> 00:02:38,934
Warmup man:
THAT WAS SOME AMAZING WORK. YEAH.
56
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,066
AND THIS IS OUR SET, HUH?
LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL SET!
57
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:44,467
YOU LIKE THAT?
58
00:02:44,533 --> 00:02:46,300
LET'S ALL REPEAT AFTER ME.
59
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,467
- THANK YOU, IKEA!
- ET VOILA.
60
00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:51,133
AUNT SASSY'S
IN THE HOUSE.
61
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,233
( laughs )
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
62
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:55,734
GOT TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE.
63
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,100
- HAVE A GREAT SHOW, GUYS!
- Juna: THANKS! YOU TOO!
64
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,734
- YOU WERE GREAT.
- OH, THANKS.
65
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,333
- HONEY, YOU WERE GREAT.
- REALLY?
66
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,000
- YEAH.
- THANK YOU. GOOD GOOD.
67
00:03:06,066 --> 00:03:08,200
- WHAT ARE YOU EATING?
WHAT IS IT? - NUTS.
68
00:03:08,266 --> 00:03:10,066
- FROM THERE?
- FROM THE BOWL.
69
00:03:10,133 --> 00:03:12,300
- OH NO, MARK.
DON'T EAT THOSE. - I'M HUNGRY.
70
00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:13,800
OH, NO.
MARK, NO.
71
00:03:13,867 --> 00:03:16,700
WE HAVE A GRIP HERE
WHOSE MISSING HIS NOSE.
72
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:18,867
GOD BLESS HIM.
JUST A PRINCE OF A GUY.
73
00:03:18,934 --> 00:03:21,900
BUT HE STANDS OVER
THAT BOWL ALL DAY LONG
74
00:03:21,967 --> 00:03:24,433
- AND THINGS...
- WHAT?
75
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:26,500
THINGS FALL OUT,
ALL RIGHT.
76
00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:29,433
THERE, I DREW YOU
A PICTURE, SO...
77
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,667
- WHERE ARE YOU PARKED?
- THE GUEST LOT.
78
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:36,000
I'M OUT THAT WAY,
SO I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.
79
00:03:36,066 --> 00:03:37,934
YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU.
80
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,900
- WHAT DO I DO
WITH THE NUTS? - PUT THEM DOWN.
81
00:03:39,967 --> 00:03:42,600
- NOT IN THE BOWL.
I MEANT ON THE TABLE. - ALL RIGHT, I--
82
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:44,066
LET'S JUST GO.
83
00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:46,233
- OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.
- OKAY, BYE BYE.
84
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:49,300
- HERE'S NEXT WEEK'S SCRIPT.
- AH, THANKS. GOOD JOB.
85
00:03:50,367 --> 00:03:52,567
Valerie:
GREAT SHOW, MIKE.
86
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,400
( engine starts )
87
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,967
OKAY.
88
00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:15,233
OH NO NO.
THAT'S NOT--
89
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:16,800
Jane:
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
90
00:04:16,867 --> 00:04:19,734
- IS SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE SCRIPT? - NO NO, NOTHING.
91
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,467
NOTHING'S WRONG WITH THE SCRIPT.
IT'S JUST ONE LITTLE LINE
92
00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,033
NEEDS TO BE WORKED OUT,
YOU KNOW?
93
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,734
JUST A LITTLE TWEAK,
THAT'S ALL.
94
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,400
- GREAT SHOW, BOB.
SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. - GOOD NIGHT, VALERIE.
95
00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:32,000
HE'S THE ONE
WITH NO NOSE, JANE.
96
00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,700
GREAT GUY.
REALLY IS.
97
00:04:35,767 --> 00:04:37,700
Jane:
WHAT'S THE LINE?
98
00:04:37,767 --> 00:04:40,066
UH, WELL, CASSIE'S
FOUND A BOX OF PUPPIES,
99
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,433
SHE WANTS TO KEEP THEM
AND SASSY SAYS,
100
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,967
"WELL, YOU SEE
A BOX OF PUPPIES,
101
00:04:45,033 --> 00:04:47,500
I SEE KOREAN BARBEQUE."
102
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,166
YEAH YEAH YEAH.
103
00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:52,567
Jane:
HOW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH A JOKE?
104
00:04:52,633 --> 00:04:54,333
ME?
NEVER.
105
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,667
NEVER. HELLO?
HAVE YOU SEEN MY COSTUME? ( chuckles )
106
00:04:57,734 --> 00:05:00,233
NO, I ALWAYS GIVE
EVERY JOKE MY BEST SHOT.
107
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,533
AND THEN I JUST TRUST
THAT THE WRITERS ARE SMART.
108
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,800
THEY'LL SEE IT DOESN'T WORK
AND THEY'LL CHANGE IT.
109
00:05:05,867 --> 00:05:07,567
WHAT IF THEY DON'T?
110
00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:10,300
WHAT IF THEY
DON'T CHANGE IT?
111
00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:12,300
WELL THEN IT'S--
THEN IT'S BIG TROUBLE.
112
00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:14,066
YOU KNOW?
113
00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:16,400
WE HAD A SITUATION ON--
ON "IT."
114
00:05:16,467 --> 00:05:19,567
WE HAD A RODNEY KING JOKE
IN A COURTROOM SCENE
115
00:05:19,633 --> 00:05:21,800
TOO SOON
AFTER THE L.A. RIOTS
116
00:05:21,867 --> 00:05:23,734
AND, UH, YOU KNOW,
117
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,033
IT KILLED THE SERIES,
YOU KNOW?
118
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:28,100
YOU HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL
WITH COMEDY.
119
00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:30,867
EDGY'S FUNNY.
TOO EDGY IS CANCELATION.
120
00:05:30,934 --> 00:05:33,467
YOU KNOW, AND I FOR ONE
WOULD HATE TO SEE THAT HAPPEN
121
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,600
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE
A SHAME.
122
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:39,667
REALLY WOULD.
SO...
123
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,834
THIS ISN'T MY CAR.
124
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,834
BOTH SILVER.
125
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:52,667
- OKAY, EVERYBODY.
- ( car beeping )
126
00:05:58,633 --> 00:06:01,333
VALERIE!
LOOK AT THESE LITTLE SWEETIES!
127
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,800
- AREN'T THEY CUTE?
- UH-HUH. AW.
128
00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:07,100
REMINDS ME OF WHEN
NIJINSKY WAS THIS SIZE.
129
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,633
NOW HE'S JUST A SMELLY
OLD PEE MACHINE.
130
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:12,367
- BUT I LOVE HIM.
- UH-HUH.
131
00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:15,433
EDDIE, ARE TOM
AND PAULIE G HERE?
132
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,667
I DON'T THINK THEY'RE IN YET.
WATCH OUT FOR THAT ONE.
133
00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:19,700
- HE'S GOT THE JAWS OF LIFE
- YEAH, ALL RIGHT.
134
00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:21,367
- VALERIE. HI.
- YEAH?
135
00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:23,867
- WE HAVEN'T OFFICIALLY
MET, I'M GIGI. - HI, GIGI.
136
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:25,767
I'M THE NEW WRITER.
137
00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:28,233
- WELCOME! OH, TRULY!
- THANK YOU.
138
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:31,200
OH, HOW GREAT TO HAVE
A WOMAN'S VOICE IN THE WRITING.
139
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:34,633
SO SMART OF TOM AND PAULIE G.
HAVE YOU WORKED WITH THEM BEFORE?
140
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,633
- ACTUALLY I'VE NEVER
WORKED IN TELEVISION BEFORE. - UH-HUH.
141
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,967
I'M A PLAYWRIGHT
FROM NEW YORK. WHERE ELSE?
142
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,934
- Mickey: THE BIG APPLE.
I SPENT SOME TIME THERE. - YEAH.
143
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,567
OH REALLY?
I JUST WANTED TO SAY HOW EXCITED I AM--
144
00:06:45,633 --> 00:06:47,800
OH, ME TOO, DOLL.
YEAH, NO, ME TOO.
145
00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:50,333
- I'M GONNA--
I HAVE TO TALK TO-- - OH, OKAY. SORRY.
146
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,200
CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER.
TOM. PAULIE.
147
00:06:53,266 --> 00:06:55,800
CAN I-- ONE SECOND.
I--
148
00:06:55,867 --> 00:06:57,734
OOOH.
149
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:58,900
OOPS.
( chuckles )
150
00:06:58,967 --> 00:07:01,333
THAT'S A MISS.
THAT'S NOT--
151
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,033
THIS ONE'S KIND OF CLEAN.
152
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,800
UM, ANYWAY,
GREAT SCRIPT.
153
00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:10,300
AGAIN. YOU GUYS
ARE PROBABLY GETTING TIRED
154
00:07:10,367 --> 00:07:12,233
OF HEARING THAT, HUH?
( chuckles )
155
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:14,333
( stammering )
JUST UM...
156
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,333
JUST ONE--
157
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,266
JUST A TEENY BIT CONCERNED
158
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:20,467
ABOUT MY LINE
AT THE END OF SCENE J.
159
00:07:20,533 --> 00:07:22,934
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
- NO BIG DEAL. IT'S GOOD.
160
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,100
JUST, I'M NOT SURE
IT'S GONNA PLAY, YOU KNOW?
161
00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:27,433
BUT YOU'LL SEE IT.
162
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,233
WE'LL RUN IT,
YOU KNOW?
163
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:32,200
AND THEN YOU'LL...
CHANGE IT OR WHATEVER, YOU KNOW?
164
00:07:32,266 --> 00:07:34,433
LIKE YOU--
LIKE USUAL.
165
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:36,667
YOU MISSED A SPOT.
166
00:07:36,734 --> 00:07:40,000
- BIG-- THANK YOU.
BIG SPOT. - OKAY.
167
00:07:40,066 --> 00:07:42,333
OH DEAR. WOW.
GOT YOU GOOD.
168
00:07:43,967 --> 00:07:45,633
YEAH.
169
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,133
JUST KIND OF
SMEARING IT AROUND.
170
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,900
YOU ALMOST GOT ME.
171
00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:53,500
- ( giggles )
- ( puppies barking )
172
00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:55,500
Chris:
DAMN, LOOK AT HER PUPPIES.
173
00:07:55,567 --> 00:07:57,300
( crew laughs )
174
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:01,300
I'VE GOT BARTLES & JAYMES
AND GOUDA UPSTAIRS--
175
00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:05,900
- CASSIE.
- AUNT SASSY,
176
00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:08,133
I KNOW WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO HAVE PETS, BUT...
177
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,700
HOW CAN YOU SAY NO
TO A BOX OF PUPPIES?
178
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:13,734
YOU SEE A BOX OF PUPPIES,
I SEE KOREAN BARBEQUE.
179
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,033
( crew laughs )
180
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:18,734
- OKAY, BANG BANG!
LET'S MOVE IT! - Eddie: MOVIN' ON!
181
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,867
SORRY, DEAR, I GOTTA--
JIMMY!
182
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,066
GUYS AND GAL.
( laughs )
183
00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:26,033
LISTEN, CAN WE JUST TALK
ABOUT THAT LAST LINE FOR ONE SECOND?
184
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,834
- YEAH YEAH.
- UH, NO.
185
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:30,066
ALL RIGHT,
SERIOUSLY.
186
00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:32,166
( stammering )
LISTEN, IT JUST-- IT, UM...
187
00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:34,333
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT
THAT PUPPY LINE, YOU KNOW?
188
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,667
'CAUSE IT JUST SEEMS LIKE
EVERYONE LOVES PUPPIES.
189
00:08:36,734 --> 00:08:38,834
- IT'S SO FUN, IT'S GREAT.
- UM-HMM, YEAH YEAH.
190
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,033
AND THEN AUNT SASSY
WANTS TO EAT ONE.
191
00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:45,400
- YEAH, YOU KNOW?
- NO, I THINK IT PLAYED.
192
00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:48,100
WELL, YOU KNOW,
I ALWAYS TRY TO HONOR THE WORK, TOM.
193
00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:50,300
- SO THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR THAT. - OH.
194
00:08:50,367 --> 00:08:52,266
BUT IT FEELS LIKE,
195
00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:53,767
YOU KNOW...
196
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,800
WITH THAT LINE, AUNT SASSY
IS JUST UNLIKABLE, YOU KNOW?
197
00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:59,333
THE AUDIENCE
IS GOING TO HATE HER. IS THAT WHAT WE WANT?
198
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,533
- NAH, IT'S JUST A JOKE.
- WELL, NO, IT IS JUST A JOKE,
199
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,033
BUT WE NEED TO STOP
AND THINK, YOU KNOW?
200
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,967
IS THIS THE DIRECTION
WE WANT TO GO IN?
201
00:09:07,033 --> 00:09:09,500
I'M GOING IN
THAT DIRECTION.
202
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,233
OKAY.
( chuckles )
203
00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:16,700
- WHAT?
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
204
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,867
YOU CAN'T TELL TWO
30-YEAR-OLD HOTSHOTS HOW TO WRITE.
205
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:23,633
- YOU WANT TO START
THE "HATE SHOW"? - OH GOD, NO.
206
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:26,233
RIGHT, YEAH.
LISTEN, OKAY.
207
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,333
I DIDN'T WANT
TO SCARE THEM, ALL RIGHT?
208
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,333
BUT ON "I'M IT,"
MY CHARACTER BECKY
209
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,300
HAD A RODNEY KING JOKE
IN A COURTROOM SCENE.
210
00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:34,467
- IT ENDED US,
ALL RIGHT? - MM-HMM.
211
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,767
IT WAS RIGHT AFTER THE RIOTS.
AND IT WAS,
212
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:39,000
"CAN'T WE ALL JUST LIKE
EACH OTHER MORE?"
213
00:09:39,066 --> 00:09:41,166
YOU MEAN, "CAN'T WE ALL
JUST GET ALONG?"
214
00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:43,333
THAT WAS IT.
VERY GOOD. YEAH.
215
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,300
YOU THINK THAT'S WHY
YOUR SHOW WAS CANCELED?
216
00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:48,834
- WELL, YEAH.
- YOUR SHOW WAS CANCELED
217
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:52,367
BECAUSE ON THE LAST SEASON
YOU HAD A CHIMP WORKING AT THE LAW FIRM.
218
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,367
NOW, YOU KNOW
THE JOKE DOESN'T WORK
219
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,867
AND I KNOW THE JOKE
DOESN'T WORK.
220
00:09:58,934 --> 00:10:02,233
LET THE AUDIENCE TELL THEM
THE JOKE DOESN'T WORK.
221
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,433
- HONEY, STAY OUT OF IT.
- MM-HMM?
222
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,834
MM-HMM.
MM-HMM.
223
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:11,567
YEAH.
224
00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:14,734
BY THE WAY,
EVERYONE LOVED THAT CHIMP.
225
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,767
Jimmy:
NO THEY DIDN'T.
226
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,166
Jane:
DO YOU FEEL BETTER?
227
00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:22,567
WELL, IT'S ALWAYS GOOD
TO TALK TO JIMMY, YOU KNOW?
228
00:10:22,633 --> 00:10:24,800
AND IF THEY CHANGE
THAT LINE, THEN GREAT.
229
00:10:24,867 --> 00:10:27,300
AND IF THEY DON'T...
230
00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:28,967
( clears throat )
YOU KNOW.
231
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:32,333
- OH, THERE'S
THAT GIRL WRITER. - ( puppies barking )
232
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,934
HELLO THERE,
LADY WRITER.
233
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,867
- HI.
- HI.
234
00:10:37,934 --> 00:10:40,667
I WANTED TO TELL YOU
HOW MUCH I APPRECIATED YOUR SUPPORT
235
00:10:40,734 --> 00:10:42,200
TODAY AT THE RUN-THROUGH.
236
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,100
- THE PUPPY LINE?
- OH.
237
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:46,200
SAW YOU NODDING.
YOU AND I, SAME PAGE.
238
00:10:46,266 --> 00:10:48,300
- OH, RIGHT. YEAH.
- YES.
239
00:10:48,367 --> 00:10:49,867
YOU KNOW.
240
00:10:49,934 --> 00:10:53,433
LOOK AT THAT FACE, HUH?
AW. SO CUTE, YEAH.
241
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:56,333
AUNT SASSY MIGHT HATE PUPPIES,
BUT VALERIE CHERISH DOES NOT.
242
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,400
- OKAY?
- ( both laughing )
243
00:10:58,467 --> 00:11:02,333
M-M-M-M-M.
EAT YOU UP. ( chuckles )
244
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,467
NOT REALLY.
245
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:07,133
I HAD TO LEAVE MY DOG
WITH MY PARENTS WHEN I CAME OUT HERE
246
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,467
- AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
- YEAH, SURE.
247
00:11:09,533 --> 00:11:11,900
AAAAW.
YEAH.
248
00:11:11,967 --> 00:11:14,400
LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK AT THIS GUY.
249
00:11:14,467 --> 00:11:16,900
HOW CUTE.
LOOK AT THAT.
250
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,800
NOTHING LIKE 'EM.
NOTHING LIKE 'EM.
251
00:11:18,867 --> 00:11:20,934
MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE
BEEN TALKING ABOUT
252
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,800
ADOPTING A LITTLE DOGGIE
FOR OURSELVES.
253
00:11:22,867 --> 00:11:25,500
YOU COULD TAKE ONE OF THESE.
THEY'RE UP FOR ADOPTION.
254
00:11:26,734 --> 00:11:29,066
CAN I?
REALLY?
255
00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:31,433
TODAY'S MY LUCKY DAY,
HUH?
256
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:34,100
OKAY.
OKAY, I'M GONNA TAKE THIS ONE.
257
00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:37,233
ALL RIGHT?
'CAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. LOVE THIS PUPPY.
258
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,800
YES, I DO.
I LOVE YOU.
259
00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:41,433
I LOVE... LUCY!
260
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:44,500
NAME HER LUCY, HUH?
( chuckles )
261
00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:46,500
LUCILLE BALL IS
A PERSONAL HERO OF MINE.
262
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:47,767
A TRUE LEGEND.
263
00:11:47,834 --> 00:11:49,834
OH, YEAH.
OH, YEAH.
264
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:52,533
EVERYONE LOVED LUCY.
YOU KNOW, SO FUNNY.
265
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,100
NEVER KILLED A PUPPY.
I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH, RIGHT?
266
00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:57,333
( chuckles )
DO YOU WANT TO GET TOGETHER
267
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,333
- AND TALK ABOUT
THAT JOKE OR-- - YEAH.
268
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,000
- SHE'S GOING
TO NEED HER SHOTS. - SURE. OH YEAH, OF COURSE.
269
00:12:04,066 --> 00:12:05,867
UM, YOU KNOW, MAYBE--
270
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,734
I DON'T KNOW,
SOMETIME THIS WEEK WE COULD GRAB A BITE.
271
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,900
- SURE.
- AND ALSO, CRATE HER AT NIGHT.
272
00:12:10,967 --> 00:12:13,100
- UH-HUH, SURE.
- I WOULD LOVE THAT.
273
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:15,000
OH GREAT, GREAT.
ALL RIGHT.
274
00:12:15,066 --> 00:12:17,667
- I SHOULD PROBABLY
GET GOING NOW, BUT UH... - OKAY.
275
00:12:17,734 --> 00:12:20,166
THAT'S GREAT.
WH-- TO-- YOU KNOW, WE'LL MAKE A PLAN
276
00:12:20,233 --> 00:12:22,266
- FOR MAYBE TOMORROW?
- OKAY.
277
00:12:22,333 --> 00:12:25,233
AND DON'T PUT HER IN BED
WITH YOU 'CAUSE YOU'LL NEVER GET HER OUT.
278
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,100
ALL RIGHT, NOT IN BED.
THAT'S A WHOLE LOT OF INFORMATION.
279
00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:30,734
AND I'LL NEED YOU
TO SIGN SOME PAPERS, FILL OUT SOME FORMS.
280
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,367
I'M AROUND ALL WEEK
SO YOU CAN CATCH ME SOME OTHER TIME.
281
00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:35,834
OKAY? SO, GREAT.
OKAY, LET'S--
282
00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:39,533
OOPS. HOW DO YOU
GET IT TO GO?
283
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,600
WELL, SHE'S GONNA
HAVE TO BE LEASH TRAINED.
284
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,133
THE BEST THING TO DO
IS TO HOLD THE LEASH TIGHT IN YOUR HAND...
285
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,233
- WELL. IT IS.
- ...AND HOLD THE LEASH SLACK.
286
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:48,734
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M JUST GONNA-- I'LL CARRY IT.
287
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,467
IT'S FINE.
OKAY, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
288
00:12:51,533 --> 00:12:53,867
OKAY.
OH THANKS, MICKEY.
289
00:12:53,934 --> 00:12:56,066
WELL, LOOK WHAT
I GOT, HUH?
290
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,467
- Jane: WE'RE UP AGAIN.
- OKAY.
291
00:13:00,533 --> 00:13:03,500
SO YOU WANT TO GIVE ME
THAT CUE AGAIN FOR THAT NEW JOKE?
292
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,000
- ( mumbles )
- OH, I'M SORRY.
293
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:07,000
ALL RIGHT, CHEW THEN CUE.
ALL RIGHT?
294
00:13:07,066 --> 00:13:09,467
I'M SUCH A SLAVE-DRIVER.
HUH, MICKEY?
295
00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:12,233
- Mickey: I'M SORRY.
- NEVER MIND.
296
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,266
- Gigi: SO, CASSIE SAYS,
- YEAH.
297
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:16,100
"HOW CAN YOU SAY NO
TO A BOX OF PUPPIES?"
298
00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:18,567
- AND AUNT SASSY SAYS...
- IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.
299
00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:20,133
IF I LET YOU HAVE
A BOX OF PUPPIES,
300
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,066
I HAVE TO LET OLD MR. SCHMIDT
HANG HIS SATAN FLAG IN THE WINDOW.
301
00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:24,700
- ( Mickey laughs )
- Gigi: YEAH.
302
00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:26,567
OH, YEAH.
PAULIE G'S GOING TO LIKE THAT ONE.
303
00:13:26,633 --> 00:13:28,900
- WATCH, THAT'LL BE
THE ONE THAT FLIES. - COOL.
304
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:31,967
- AND IT WORKS FOR ME
BECAUSE EVERYONE HATES SATAN. - ( laughs )
305
00:13:32,033 --> 00:13:36,967
- JUST-- NOW
WHO'S MR. SCHMIDT? - JUST ANOTHER TENANT.
306
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,700
OH RIGHT. WHO CARES?
AS LONG AS IT'S NOT AUNT SASSY.
307
00:13:39,767 --> 00:13:41,667
IT'S GOOD.
THIS IS GOOD.
308
00:13:41,734 --> 00:13:45,233
YOU KNOW, THIS IS THE FIRST
TIME I'VE FELT NORMAL SINCE I'VE BEEN OUT HERE.
309
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,133
AT YALE,
WHEN I DID A PLAY,
310
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,533
- THE ACTRESSES AND I
WOULD ALWAYS COLLABORATE-- - NOTHING BETTER.
311
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,400
- PUPPY'S IN MY PURSE.
- OH, YOU LITTLE SCAMP.
312
00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:55,867
- HOW'D YOU GET
YOUR SNIFTER IN THERE? - YOU LET HER.
313
00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:57,867
ALL RIGHT,
TIME FOR A NAP.
314
00:13:57,934 --> 00:14:00,400
- AFTER ALL, STILL A PUPPY.
- Gigi: ALL RIGHT,
315
00:14:00,467 --> 00:14:02,433
I'M GOING TO GO PITCH
THESE JOKES TO THE GUYS.
316
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,667
LISTEN, WHEN IN DOUBT,
ALWAYS GO TO SOMETHING PHYSICAL. I CAN DO THAT.
317
00:14:05,734 --> 00:14:08,734
- IN FACT, HERE, I BROUGHT IN
THIS EPISODE OF "I'M IT." - OH.
318
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,934
- AND IT'S ALL CUED
TO THE KISS SCENE. - OKAY.
319
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,867
WITH MIKE, HE PLAYED
MY LOVE INTEREST.
320
00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:16,100
- Mickey:
OH, I LOVE THIS SCENE. - YEAH, IT WAS A BIG MOMENT
321
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:18,834
'CAUSE WE HAD BEEN FIGHTING
OUR ATTRACTION FOR EACH OTHER
322
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,000
- SINCE THE SERIES STARTED.
- Gigi: OKAY.
323
00:14:21,066 --> 00:14:23,100
- AND IT'S PHYSICAL.
- OH.
324
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:25,834
OKAY, JANE, ARE YOU
GOING TO BE ABLE TO SEE THIS?
325
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:29,166
- YEAH, WE'LL GET IT.
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT. GOOD.
326
00:14:34,967 --> 00:14:37,500
We believe
in the Franklin vs. Evans case
327
00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:39,767
that the judge will rule
that you're too close!
328
00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:41,767
( audience laughs )
329
00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:45,734
Becky, can you honestly
tell me you don't feel anything for me?
330
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,767
Mike, I'm...
very fond of you.
331
00:14:48,834 --> 00:14:50,700
( audience laughs )
332
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,967
- I HAVE A JOKE.
- ( Mickey mumbles )
333
00:14:53,033 --> 00:14:55,967
- SHH.
- Becky: But we have a professional relationship
334
00:14:56,033 --> 00:14:59,133
and I think it's best
that we keep it that way.
335
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,133
Okay.
336
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,400
Okay, now if you don't mind,
I need to get a look at your briefs.
337
00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:06,600
- For the Lawson case!
- ( audience laughs )
338
00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:08,734
Becky:
Oh God.
339
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,600
Mike:
What are you doing?
340
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:14,033
- Are you talking to me?
- ( audience laughs )
341
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,767
Becky, come on.
This is ridiculous.
342
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:19,166
I know. Normally,
my secretary does the filing.
343
00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:21,500
- ( all laugh )
- ( audience laughs )
344
00:15:21,567 --> 00:15:24,567
Mike:
Becky, look at me.
345
00:15:27,166 --> 00:15:29,066
Oh God.
346
00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:31,600
( audience laughs )
347
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:33,967
Mike:
Becky, you can't leave me here like this.
348
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:37,033
Becky:
Don't worry, i'll send food and water.
349
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:39,266
( audience laughing )
350
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:46,000
Oh, what the hell.
351
00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:49,500
- ( crowd cheering )
- MM-HMM.
352
00:15:55,433 --> 00:15:58,133
- Wow.
- Wow.
353
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,300
- Becky: Excuse me.
- Mike: Yeah.
354
00:16:00,367 --> 00:16:02,233
- SO, SEE THAT?
- YEAH, IT WAS LIKE A--
355
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:04,400
- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
- YEAH.
356
00:16:04,467 --> 00:16:08,467
SHE'S A TOUGH D.A., BUT--
MICKEY, CAN YOU PAUSE IT, PLEASE?
357
00:16:08,533 --> 00:16:10,700
- EVEN THOUGH SHE'S--
- Becky: Thanks, Sally.
358
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:12,967
JUST HIT-- PAUSE IT.
CAN YOU PAUSE IT?
359
00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:15,633
JUST HIT THE BUTTON,
MICKEY! YEAH, GOOD.
360
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:18,700
- ALL RIGHT, EVEN THOUGH
SHE'S A TOUGH D.A., - ( yelping )
361
00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:21,033
I WAS STILL ABLE
TO MAKE HER LIKABLE.
362
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,033
- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO, YOU KNOW.
363
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:27,000
- IF I HAVE
THE RIGHT WORDS. - YEAH, WELL.
364
00:16:27,066 --> 00:16:28,600
UH-OH.
365
00:16:28,667 --> 00:16:33,867
- Girls: EW.
- Mickey: I THINK LUCY HAS SOME 'SPLAINING TO DO.
366
00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:36,033
TAKE HER.
367
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,200
I DIDN'T SMELL THAT.
368
00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,100
PUPPY POOED
ON MY PASHMINA.
369
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:44,233
Gigi:
OH, I THINK IT'S IN YOUR HAIR TOO, VALERIE.
370
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,567
- RIGHT WHERE?
- RIGHT THERE.
371
00:16:46,633 --> 00:16:49,000
- OKAY, MICKEY?
- Mickey: HERE, PAPER TOWEL.
372
00:16:49,066 --> 00:16:52,000
- UH-HUH.
- PAPER TOWEL. DON'T RUB IT.
373
00:16:52,066 --> 00:16:54,166
- PAT IT.
- ( knocking )
374
00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:56,433
YEAH YEAH.
375
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,367
YES!
COME IN!
376
00:16:58,433 --> 00:17:01,033
- HEY, VALERIE?
SORRY TO INTERRUPT. - YEAH?
377
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:04,133
HEY, GIGI,
TOM AND PAULIE G ARE LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.
378
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,166
OH MY GOD,
I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS SO LATE.
379
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:09,200
- IS THAT A SHIT SMELL?
- I HAVE TO GO.
380
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:11,100
YEAH, NO WORRIES, DEAR.
THAT'S OKAY.
381
00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:13,667
IF YOU DON'T MIND, COULD YOU
JUST TELL TOM AND PAULIE G
382
00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:16,867
THAT IS WAS MY FAULT
THAT WE WERE SPITBALLING.
383
00:17:16,934 --> 00:17:19,567
SPITBALLING'S WHEN
YOU'RE THROWING IDEAS AROUND.
384
00:17:19,633 --> 00:17:22,033
JUST TELL THEM
GIGI WAS WITH ME.
385
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:23,934
YEAH, I WILL.
386
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,433
- OH GOSH,
LOOK AT THIS, MICKEY. - ( door shuts )
387
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:29,066
- IT'S NOT COMING OUT.
- KEEP PATTING, IT'LL COME OUT.
388
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:31,066
- WHY CAN'T I
PULL IT OUT? - NO NO.
389
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,934
- BECAUSE IT'LL GO
ALL THROUGH IT. - WE HAVE TO SHAMPOO MY HAIR.
390
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,333
- OKAY, WE CAN DO THAT.
IT CAME OUT, IT'LL COME OUT. - ALL RIGHT.
391
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,433
( Lucy yelping )
392
00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:45,567
OH GOD. IT'S 3:00
IN THE MORNING.
393
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:49,133
I TOLD YOU THE PUPPY
DOES NOT LIKE BEING IN THAT CRATE.
394
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,133
- WELL.
- THE BOOK SAID IT COULD TAKE
395
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,233
- UP TO TWO WEEKS
FOR THEM TO ACCLIMATE. - OH.
396
00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:55,734
- THEY MISS THEIR MOTHERS.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
397
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,633
CRAWL IN THERE
AND NURSE IT MYSELF?
398
00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:01,266
I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU GOT A PUPPY ANYWAY, THEY'RE A LOT OF WORK.
399
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:04,800
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
EVERYTHING WORTHWHILE IS A LOT OF WORK.
400
00:18:04,867 --> 00:18:08,166
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M GOING TO BRING THE PUPPY INTO BED WITH US.
401
00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:10,467
NO, WE'RE NOT ALLOWED.
402
00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:12,667
WE CAN DO
WHATEVER WE WANT.
403
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:16,400
- ALL RIGHT, WELL.
- COME HERE.
404
00:18:16,467 --> 00:18:18,900
- CALM DOWN.
- YOU'RE BEING TRAINED TOMORROW.
405
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,834
ALL RIGHT,
GOOD NIGHT, MARKY-MARK.
406
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,700
- GOOD NIGHT.
- GOOD NIGHT, PUPPY.
407
00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:25,200
- YEAH. OH!
IT HAPPENED. - WHAT?
408
00:18:25,266 --> 00:18:27,200
- IT BIT IT.
IT SCRATCHED MY FACE. - WHERE?
409
00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:29,233
- OH GOD, UNDER MY NOSE.
IS IT BLEEDING? - NO.
410
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:33,433
- WELL IT'S WET.
I FEEL BLOOD. - YOU'RE NOT BLEEDING.
411
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,567
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I CAN'T-- I CAN'T RISK IT.
412
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,600
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- I CAN'T, MARK.
413
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:40,600
I GOTTA GO SOMEWHERE ELSE
'CAUSE I'M SHOOTING TOMORROW.
414
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:42,600
IF I STAY IN HERE,
I'M GONNA GET MAULED.
415
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,800
- I'LL SLEEP
IN ANOTHER ROOM. - WHAT?
416
00:18:45,867 --> 00:18:49,133
DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY,
OKAY?
417
00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,500
- DO YOU WANT A SECTION?
- OH, NO THANK YOU.
418
00:19:00,734 --> 00:19:05,000
- SHE'S USUALLY DOWN BY NOW.
- ( footsteps approaching )
419
00:19:07,967 --> 00:19:10,200
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
420
00:19:10,266 --> 00:19:12,133
OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
421
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,734
COME ON.
422
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,200
PUPPY DOESN'T LIKE
THE LEASH.
423
00:19:16,266 --> 00:19:20,333
- Mark: YOUR SCRIPT CAME.
- OH, OKAY. HERE WE GO.
424
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,233
- CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION? - MM-HMM.
425
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:24,500
WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT
LAST NIGHT?
426
00:19:24,567 --> 00:19:26,633
ALL RIGHT,
LET ME JUST...
427
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,800
SEE WHAT'S GOING ON
IN HERE, OKAY?
428
00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:34,300
OKAY, OKAY.
429
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,166
PFFT. THEY STILL HAVEN'T
CHANGED THAT LINE.
430
00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:42,633
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU
LIKE THIS.
431
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:46,100
WELL, WE HAVEN'T
BEEN TOGETHER WHEN I'VE BEEN WORKING.
432
00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:48,600
VAL, I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST--
433
00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:51,200
IT SEEMS A LOT TO GO THROUGH
FOR ONE JOKE.
434
00:19:51,266 --> 00:19:53,867
IT'S NOT JUST ONE JOKE,
MARK, OKAY?
435
00:19:53,934 --> 00:19:56,333
THIS IS
A CHARACTER-DEFINING LINE.
436
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,367
AND IT'S NOT LIKABLE,
AND IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THE CHARACTER,
437
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,033
THEN SHE GETS
LESS AND LESS LINES
438
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,834
UNTIL SHE FADES
OUT OF THE SHOW
439
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:06,600
AND THEN "THE COMEBACK"
HAS NOTHING TO SHOOT AND I HAVE NOTHING.
440
00:20:06,667 --> 00:20:09,033
THE LITTLE TRICKLE
BECOMES THE GRAND CANYON.
441
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:10,767
YOU KNOW.
442
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:13,166
IT'S NOT A TOUGH BUSINESS
FOR NOTHING.
443
00:20:14,066 --> 00:20:16,233
RIGHT?
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
444
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,166
ANYWAY, YOU KNOW.
445
00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:22,333
I JUST NEED TO FIX THIS
AND THEN IT'S ALL GONNA GO BACK TO NORMAL.
446
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,233
IT WILL.
447
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,233
- SO, EGGS?
- SURE.
448
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,700
- WHEAT TOAST?
- WHITE.
449
00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:30,734
WHITE, OKAY.
OOPS.
450
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,400
DON'T KNOW
WHERE I'M GOING.
451
00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:34,433
COOKING WITH A PUPPY.
( laughs )
452
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:38,000
OH, COME HERE.
COME HERE, COME HERE, COME HERE.
453
00:20:38,066 --> 00:20:41,200
IT'S NOT SANITARY.
454
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,333
OH, ACTUALLY,
THERE'S GIGI. JANE?
455
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,333
IT'S GIGI.
HI, STRANGER.
456
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,000
WHERE HAVE YOU
BEEN HIDING, HMM?
457
00:20:53,066 --> 00:20:54,533
- HI.
- HI.
458
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,500
SO, I SAW THAT PUPPY LINE
IS STILL IN THE SCRIPT. WHAT HAPPENED?
459
00:20:57,567 --> 00:20:59,433
THEY DIDN'T LIKE
ANY OF THE PITCHES,
460
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:02,834
AND I GOT INTO TROUBLE
FOR GOING UP TO YOUR DRESSING ROOM, SO...
461
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:05,300
IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND,
462
00:21:05,367 --> 00:21:07,867
I REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'T
EVEN BRING IT UP BECAUSE--
463
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,433
YEAH, I GOT IT.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
464
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:12,233
THEY DON'T WANT YOU
CONNECTING WITH THE ACTORS. NO, I GET IT.
465
00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:14,433
TAKE CARE, DOLL.
466
00:21:17,700 --> 00:21:19,600
Announcer:
JESSE WOOD!
467
00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:22,100
- I'LL SEE YOU
OUT THERE. - OKAY.
468
00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:26,100
Jane:
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE JOKE NOT CHANGING IN THE SCRIPT?
469
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:29,467
I'M TRYING TO PREPARE,
SO REALLY CAN'T.
470
00:21:29,533 --> 00:21:31,600
Warmup man:
AND LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,
471
00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:33,867
YOU LOVED HER
ON THE SHOW "I'M IT,"
472
00:21:33,934 --> 00:21:38,133
HERE SHE IS,
VALERIE CHERISH!
473
00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:47,867
Audience: OOH!
474
00:21:49,867 --> 00:21:52,033
( audience laughing )
475
00:21:55,567 --> 00:21:59,467
Eddie:
OKAY! PLACES EVERYONE! SCENE A, APPLE.
476
00:21:59,533 --> 00:22:01,400
OKAY,
THAT WAS FUNNY.
477
00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:04,266
OH, 'CAUSE I SAVED IT
WITH "THE ROBOT," YOU KNOW.
478
00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:07,433
Warmup man:
YOU GUYS ARE GREAT. THIS IS A NICE, PUMPED AUDIENCE.
479
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,467
Mooner:
DAMN, LOOK AT HER PUPPIES.
480
00:22:09,533 --> 00:22:11,000
( audience laughs )
481
00:22:11,066 --> 00:22:15,600
YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE,
BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO HIDE YOU.
482
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:18,834
I'VE GOT BARTLES & JAYMES
AND GOUDA UP--
483
00:22:19,834 --> 00:22:22,300
- CASSIE?
- AUNT SASSY.
484
00:22:22,367 --> 00:22:24,066
I KNOW WE'RE NOT ALLOWED
TO HAVE PETS,
485
00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:26,900
BUT HOW CAN YOU SAY NO
TO A BOX OF PUPPIES?
486
00:22:26,967 --> 00:22:29,900
YOU SEE A BOX OF PUPPIES,
I SEE KOREAN BARBEQUE.
487
00:22:29,967 --> 00:22:32,200
- ( guy laughs )
- ( crowd aws )
488
00:22:32,266 --> 00:22:34,567
- AND CUT.
- ( bell rings )
489
00:22:34,633 --> 00:22:37,066
Warmup man:
OKAY. NOW, THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING.
490
00:22:37,133 --> 00:22:39,667
WELCOME ABOARD
NOSEDIVE AIRLINES.
491
00:22:40,767 --> 00:22:42,600
NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THEY SAW IT.
492
00:22:42,667 --> 00:22:45,467
THEY'RE GONNA--
THEY'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING.
493
00:22:45,533 --> 00:22:47,533
I WANT TO MAKE SURE
THEY CHANGE IT, THAT'S ALL.
494
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,600
Warmup man:
ANYWAY, BELIEVE ME, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
495
00:22:50,667 --> 00:22:53,600
( crew chatting )
496
00:22:53,667 --> 00:22:56,500
- SO, YEAH,
THAT DIDN'T GET... - I THINK YOU HAVE A BETTER--
497
00:22:56,567 --> 00:22:58,367
THE RESPONSE I THINK
WE WERE ALL HOPING FOR.
498
00:22:58,433 --> 00:23:01,266
WE'RE WORKING ON A NEW JOKE.
WHY DON'T YOU WAIT OVER ON THE SET?
499
00:23:01,333 --> 00:23:03,033
- YEAH, OKAY.
- SO CASSIE SAYS,
500
00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:04,967
"HOW CAN YOU SAY NO
TO A BOX OF PUPPIES?"
501
00:23:05,033 --> 00:23:07,300
AND AUNT SASSY SAYS,
"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR PUPPIES,
502
00:23:07,367 --> 00:23:10,834
- I GOTTA GO CLUB
SOME BABY SEALS." - ( crew laughs )
503
00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:14,767
- ( overlapping dialog )
- YEAH, YOU KNOW, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE THAT MIGHT WORK.
504
00:23:14,834 --> 00:23:17,133
GIGI CAME UP WITH ONE,
MIGHT BE CUTE, WE COULD USE.
505
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,367
YEAH, WHAT WAS IT?
506
00:23:19,433 --> 00:23:21,133
"IF I LET YOU
HAVE PUPPIES,
507
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,700
THEN I HAVE TO LET
OLD MR. SCHMIDT HANG HIS SATAN FLAG."
508
00:23:24,767 --> 00:23:27,734
- WHAT THE FUCK
IS A SATAN FLAG? - WHAT?
509
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,667
- ( crew stammers )
- WELL...
510
00:23:29,734 --> 00:23:31,800
- Gigi: IT'S A CONVENTION.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
511
00:23:31,867 --> 00:23:33,900
GO WAIT WITH THE KIDS
ON THE SET.
512
00:23:33,967 --> 00:23:35,800
- OKAY, YEAH.
- THANKS.
513
00:23:35,867 --> 00:23:37,700
THAT'S THE FLAG YOU HAVE
IN YOUR BED, MILO.
514
00:23:37,767 --> 00:23:42,133
- Paulie G: IS THAT THE ONE?
- Man: IF WE CAN'T COME UP WITH SOMETHING...
515
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:46,467
CHRISTINE, I'M SO SORRY
IF THAT JOKE OFFENDED YOU.
516
00:23:46,533 --> 00:23:50,166
WHY WOULD I BE OFFENDED?
I'M NOT KOREAN, I'M JAPANESE.
517
00:23:50,233 --> 00:23:52,333
SURE, NO. YEAH, NO.
I KNEW THAT.
518
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,333
I MEANT,
YOU KNOW,
519
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,033
JUST DIDN'T WANT TO OFFEND
ANY OF YOUR KOREAN FRIENDS.
520
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:59,967
WHY DO YOU ASSUME
I HAVE KOREAN FRIENDS?
521
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,700
DO I NEED POWDER?
522
00:24:02,767 --> 00:24:05,000
- YOU'RE FINE.
- OKAY.
523
00:24:06,567 --> 00:24:08,600
ALWAYS FINE.
524
00:24:08,667 --> 00:24:11,266
- GIGI, YOU GOT SOMETHING?
- YES.
525
00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:13,367
HERE'S THE NEW LINE.
AND THEY WANT YOU TO SAY IT
526
00:24:13,433 --> 00:24:15,367
EXACTLY LIKE THIS.
527
00:24:15,433 --> 00:24:17,266
HERE COMES
"THE HATE SHOW."
528
00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:20,400
YOU WALK IN AND YOU SEE
THE PUPPIES LICKING CASSIE.
529
00:24:20,467 --> 00:24:23,233
- UM-HMM.
- AND YOU SAY, "I HAVEN'T BEEN LICKED LIKE THAT
530
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:26,367
SINCE 1943."
531
00:24:26,433 --> 00:24:29,567
THE MATH'S A LITTLE OFF.
THAT WOULD MAKE ME A HUNDRED.
532
00:24:29,633 --> 00:24:33,867
UM, AND THEN THEY WANT YOU
TO MAKE A TIGER SOUND. CAN YOU DO THAT?
533
00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:37,100
YES, I CAN.
534
00:24:37,166 --> 00:24:39,100
YES, I CAN.
OKAY.
535
00:24:39,166 --> 00:24:41,767
OKAY, WE'RE GONNA PICK IT UP
FROM VAL'S ENTRANCE.
536
00:24:41,834 --> 00:24:44,800
Man:
OKAY, GOING FOR A PICK-UP FROM SASSY'S ENTRANCE.
537
00:24:44,867 --> 00:24:46,667
- ON A BELL!
- ( bell ringing )
538
00:24:46,734 --> 00:24:49,200
Warmup man:
SO REMEMBER, CASSIE HAS FOUND A BOX OF PUPPIES...
539
00:24:49,266 --> 00:24:52,633
Man:
SCENE J, APPLE. A, B, C CAMERA MARK.
540
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:55,133
STAND BY!
541
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,600
ACTION!
542
00:24:57,667 --> 00:25:00,500
I'VE GOT BARTLES & JAYMES
AND GOUDA UPSTAIRS.
543
00:25:00,567 --> 00:25:02,934
- ( audience laughs )
- CASSIE!
544
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,333
AUNT SASSY, I KNOW WE'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO HAVE PETS,
545
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,133
BUT HOW CAN YOU SAY NO
TO A BOX OF PUPPIES?
546
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,033
I HAVEN'T BEEN LICKED
LIKE THAT SINCE 1943.
547
00:25:12,100 --> 00:25:14,567
- ( audience chuckles )
- ( growls )
548
00:25:14,633 --> 00:25:16,567
( audience laughs )
549
00:25:16,633 --> 00:25:18,533
CUT IT!
BANG BANG, WE'RE MOVING ON!
550
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,767
- Eddie: MOVIN' ON!
- ( bell rings )
551
00:25:20,834 --> 00:25:24,300
- ( audience applauding )
- Warmup man: WE'RE MOVING ON, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
552
00:25:24,367 --> 00:25:26,967
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE ONLY GOT A COUPLE MORE SCENES TO DO.
553
00:25:27,033 --> 00:25:30,734
AND IN BASEBALL WE CALL THIS
THE SEVENTH-INNING STRETCH.
554
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,967
AND IF YOU
DON'T KNOW BASEBALL, THEN IT'S A...
555
00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:36,233
- SIT-DOWN PILATES CLASS.
- ( audience laughs )
556
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:38,467
( door opens )
557
00:25:45,233 --> 00:25:46,867
IS THAT PAULIE?
558
00:25:46,934 --> 00:25:48,600
JANE, THAT'S PAULIE G.
559
00:25:48,667 --> 00:25:52,700
THAT'S PAULIE G.
PAULIE, PAULIE! HI.
560
00:25:52,767 --> 00:25:56,433
LISTEN, JUST WANT TO SAY
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CHANGING THAT LINE.
561
00:25:56,500 --> 00:26:00,033
YOU KNOW, AND THINKING
ON YOUR FEET LIKE THAT, THAT WAS, YOU KNOW.
562
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:02,433
AND "GRRRRR"--
VERY FUN TO DO, SO...
563
00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:05,367
JUST THANK YOU SO MUCH,
I REALLY REALLY ENJOYED IT.
564
00:26:05,433 --> 00:26:08,500
AHEM, YOU KNOW.
DON'T HATE ME.
565
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,734
OKAY?
YOU CAN'T HATE ME.
566
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,667
IT'S ONE JOKE.
THAT'S NOT FAIR, YOU KNOW.
567
00:26:13,734 --> 00:26:15,900
IT'S NOT WHO I AM.
THAT'S NOT WHO I AM, YOU KNOW.
568
00:26:15,967 --> 00:26:18,600
I'M A TEAM PLAYER
AND I'M A HARD WORKER.
569
00:26:18,667 --> 00:26:21,233
I'M THE ONE WHO BUYS
GIFTS FOR ALL THE CREW, YOU KNOW.
570
00:26:21,300 --> 00:26:23,900
THAT'S WHO I AM,
THAT'S WHO I AM, SO--
571
00:26:23,967 --> 00:26:27,934
ALL RIGHT, HAVE A GOOD--
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
572
00:26:29,066 --> 00:26:32,767
OKAY. I JUST WANTED
TO THANK HIM,
573
00:26:32,834 --> 00:26:34,734
AHEM, YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE HE REALLY--
574
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,467
HE LOVED THAT PUPPY KILLER
LINE SO MUCH.
575
00:26:37,533 --> 00:26:39,567
SO, YOU KNOW...
576
00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:43,166
SOMEONE WORKS REAL HARD,
THEN IT'S IMPORTANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT,
577
00:26:43,233 --> 00:26:45,600
YOU KNOW?
IT'S JUST IMPORTANT.
578
00:26:45,667 --> 00:26:48,266
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU ALL
BACK AT THE RANCH.
579
00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:50,433
( door dings )
580
00:26:53,967 --> 00:26:57,033
? I WANNA BE
LOVED BY YOU ?
581
00:26:57,100 --> 00:27:01,333
? JUST YOU,
NOBODY ELSE BUT YOU ?
582
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,200
? I WANNA BE
LOVED BY YOU... ?
583
00:27:04,266 --> 00:27:06,900
- ( tires screech )
- ? ALONE ?
584
00:27:06,967 --> 00:27:08,967
? POOPOOBEE DOO... ?
585
00:27:09,033 --> 00:27:12,200
I DON'T HAVE THE PUPPY.
DID YOU SEE THE PUPPY?
586
00:27:12,266 --> 00:27:14,700
PUPPY!
OKAY OKAY OKAY.
587
00:27:14,767 --> 00:27:16,934
- IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY
- I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HER.
588
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,100
OOH, I THOUGHT SOMEONE
HAD PUT HER IN THE CAR.
589
00:27:19,166 --> 00:27:20,734
- THAT IS WAY TOO CLOSE.
- YEAH.
590
00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,333
- YOU GUYS
HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL. - YEAH, JUST MORE CAREFUL,
591
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,734
'CAUSE I THOUGHT
I'D LOST YOU, YEAH.
592
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,567
YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE THAT WAS CLOSE, IT WAS TOO CLOSE.
593
00:27:29,633 --> 00:27:31,734
IT REALLY WAS.
594
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:35,133
JANE, DO YOU WANT
TO TAKE THE-- TAKE THE PUPPY?
595
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,967
- ME?
- YEAH, YOU LOVE DOGS, YOU KNOW.
596
00:27:38,033 --> 00:27:40,433
PLEASE, TAKE ME HOME.
597
00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:43,700
- ? I WANNA BE
LOVED BY YOU...? - YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE IT.
598
00:27:43,767 --> 00:27:45,300
HE PEED ON ME.
OKAY, HERE WE GO.
599
00:27:45,367 --> 00:27:49,033
DOES ANYONE HAVE
A PAPER TOWEL OR NAPKIN SOMETHING?
600
00:27:49,100 --> 00:27:50,767
- ? I WANNA BE
LOVED BY YOU...?
601
00:27:50,834 --> 00:27:53,300
THANKS. IT'S JUST
A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW--
602
00:27:53,367 --> 00:27:55,467
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TAKE HER, I'LL TAKE HER.
603
00:27:55,533 --> 00:27:58,033
- YOU WILL TAKE HER?
OH, THAT'S GREAT NEWS. - YEAH.
604
00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:01,266
OKAY, GOOD. BIG LOAD
OFF MY MIND, REALLY IS.
605
00:28:01,333 --> 00:28:04,266
GOOD, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW
IF I BRING THIS PUPPY DOG HOME AGAIN TOMORROW
606
00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:07,400
IT REALLY WILL BE
KOREAN BARBEQUE. YOU KNOW?
607
00:28:07,467 --> 00:28:10,967
OKAY. BYE, PUPPY,
ENJOY YOUR NEW HOME.
608
00:28:11,033 --> 00:28:13,333
ALL RIGHT, GANG,
I'LL HAVE THIS DRY-CLEANED FOR YOU.
609
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,533
- ? TO ANYTHING HIGHER...?
- ALL RIGHT.
610
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,567
? THEN TO FEEL
THE DESIRE...?
611
00:28:19,633 --> 00:28:22,834
THAT'S IT, THAT MAKES--
I FEEL BETTER ABOUT THAT.
612
00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:25,700
- ? PADUMM, PADUMM...?
- BYE, PUPPY.
613
00:28:25,767 --> 00:28:28,934
? I WANNA BE
LOVED BY YOU ?
614
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:33,667
? JUST YOU,
NOBODY ELSE BUT YOU ?
615
00:28:33,734 --> 00:28:36,700
? I WANNA BE
LOVED BY YOU ?
616
00:28:36,767 --> 00:28:38,867
? DEEDELEE DEEDELEE DAM ?
617
00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:41,934
? POOPOOBEE DOO. ?
618
00:28:41,984 --> 00:28:46,534
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