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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,060 I might add, since her husband was twice as old, but only half as lusty. 2 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:10,280 He was a good provider, except in bed. 3 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:15,640 And as if this were not enough torment for a minute, he came to her one day 4 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,220 with these sad tidings. 5 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:19,640 Beloved. 6 00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:26,780 Good morning, my love. 7 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:31,100 What's good about it when you didn't even sleep in my bed last night? 8 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,440 Enjoy your private beauty. Come on. 9 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:34,800 Undress. 10 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,900 How lovely you are. 11 00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:42,580 How tempting. 12 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:48,800 Your luscious goodies could raise the fig leaf off a marble statue. 13 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,740 I wish I had time for one last sip of nectar. 14 00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:00,340 So do I. 15 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,920 But I haven't. 16 00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:11,060 Why do you blindfold me? 17 00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:13,620 Double protection. 18 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,180 Ah, you must admit that this is a very clever gambit. 19 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:21,260 Father Fapello instructed me. 20 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:23,660 Two strips of linen. 21 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:25,980 The locksmith cannot see you. 22 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,680 And what is equally important, you cannot see him. 23 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,420 Locksmith! Lie down, my dear. 24 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:42,340 I'll guide you. 25 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:43,420 If you please, sire. 26 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:45,260 I need no guidance. 27 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:49,780 From long experience, I can find my way to the golden box in the dark. For me, 28 00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:50,980 it always lights up. 29 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,600 I don't care for your descriptions. 30 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:56,260 No offense meant, sire. 31 00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:58,260 Just professional talk. 32 00:01:58,580 --> 00:02:02,600 Well, enough talk. Come on, get on with it. And make sure your professional 33 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,920 fingers do not stray. 34 00:02:04,180 --> 00:02:05,260 Oh, I'll be very careful. 35 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:19,020 What's the O? 36 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,180 His hand is cold. 37 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:25,800 Forgive me, sire. 38 00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:32,060 Oh, I do, sire. 39 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:34,320 But I never malinger. 40 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,980 There. It is done. 41 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,220 Are you sure? 42 00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:42,740 See for yourself. 43 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,940 Or better, why not test it? 44 00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:07,670 It's a securely locked. 45 00:03:11,950 --> 00:03:13,550 Is it painful, my love? 46 00:03:23,830 --> 00:03:30,650 And so, yes, at the inn of a fat 47 00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:31,650 angel. 48 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:54,080 I knew you by your ring. 49 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:56,720 That's why I wear it. 50 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,000 After nothing, you really call me the husband's best friend. 51 00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:03,260 And now that I'm here, what is your plan? 52 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,900 I want you to get me out of this horrible contraption. 53 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,260 But you've only been in it for 12 hours. 54 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,460 It seems like an eternity. 55 00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:16,760 You've aroused my interest. 56 00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:18,380 Tell me more about the reward. 57 00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:23,270 Since you provided the trap, You can have some of the bait. 58 00:04:24,770 --> 00:04:25,770 Move. 59 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,810 You're the key to the situation. 60 00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:30,130 I command you to insert it. 61 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,570 You're so good. 62 00:04:58,330 --> 00:04:59,630 I shall make you feel good. 63 00:05:18,430 --> 00:05:20,810 And now, what are you doing? 64 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:28,050 Deeper. 65 00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:32,250 Deeper. Open all the locks. 66 00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:34,490 Oh, that's my craft. 67 00:05:41,270 --> 00:05:47,910 Who is it? 68 00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:51,190 Maria. It's only the maid. 69 00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:55,730 I told you not to interrupt me, except an emergency. 70 00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:04,040 Try to delay him! 71 00:06:35,260 --> 00:06:39,160 Beloved, let me in. Hurry. I've come home to a faithful wife. 72 00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:40,640 There, it is done. 73 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,100 Quick, in there. 74 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,180 Nineta, hurry. 75 00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:54,840 Patience, patience, I'm coming. 76 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,500 Nineta. Here, beloved, see for yourself. 77 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,160 It is done. 78 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,280 Yes. In case I need you again. 79 00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:33,849 Bless you. 80 00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:38,350 Bless you, Patrizia. 81 00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:40,790 And bless the barber. 82 00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:44,450 You must bring him your patronage. 83 00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:49,490 I'd rather bring my patronage here. 84 00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:54,850 You're a satisfied customer, I hope. 85 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:07,140 Tell me, Patricia, was mine longer than Brocko's? 86 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:09,880 Perhaps. 87 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,200 It seemed to have traveled a longer distance. 88 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,100 But I am not that sure. 89 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:19,760 Good. 90 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,800 Remain unsure, and I shall service you again. 91 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,080 Make it soon. 92 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:27,660 Not that door. 93 00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:29,480 Use the one over here. 94 00:10:38,410 --> 00:10:41,630 Now that we're alone, I shall tell you why. I have a great gift for you. 95 00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:42,849 A jewel? 96 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:43,689 A robe? 97 00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:44,690 Something to eat? 98 00:10:45,670 --> 00:10:47,870 Patience. In time you shall have it. 99 00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:51,870 I find you so desirable that I cannot wait to reach the bed. 100 00:11:28,970 --> 00:11:32,890 Heaven, I didn't realize you were huge like a stallion. 101 00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:35,290 Am I hurting you? 102 00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:36,530 Did I complain? 103 00:11:37,410 --> 00:11:41,250 I realize you've been fed on small rations. 104 00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:43,830 Then fill me to the brim. 105 00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:46,770 Deeper. 106 00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:48,170 Deeper. 107 00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:55,650 Please. 108 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,480 Don't stop. 109 00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:02,380 I want you to keep on punching Spinello. 110 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,180 Use me again. 111 00:12:04,940 --> 00:12:05,940 Again. 112 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:07,860 Let's teach him a lesson. 113 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,460 What do you think? 114 00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:25,970 if the cause of vengeance has been served? 115 00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:29,010 Oh, yes. 116 00:13:29,470 --> 00:13:30,570 Well served. 117 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:34,610 And now, where is this gift you promised me? 118 00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:41,810 No takes. I want to see all hands above the table. 119 00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:43,450 She's done. 120 00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:55,300 Nino. This one is much lighter. 121 00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:56,580 It's immense. 122 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,560 There's room for both of our hands on here. 123 00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:01,800 Lest my cup runneth over. 124 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,200 I guess it's nature's way of compensating. 125 00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:28,090 I hope this little billy rides like a lady. 126 00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:43,790 Assurance is a sassy little assy you are this fine morning. 127 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:07,150 my own sword to an instrument for my torture. 128 00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:12,770 And I was foundering in her gaping generation gap. 129 00:16:15,430 --> 00:16:19,570 My sword was no match for her all-consuming snatch. 130 00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:25,750 Her well of passion was so deep, an entire regiment of men would have 131 00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:26,750 drowned in it. 132 00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:29,390 My position was desperate. 133 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:36,780 And Chuchi's organ grinder devoured my meat so ravenously that my splendid 134 00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:38,080 sword was bent. 135 00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:45,580 Oh, Nina, rescue me from this hell. 136 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:47,720 Rescue! 8725