All language subtitles for 1977 - Playmate Party

Hi, how are you?

Have any trouble finding the place?

I gave the direction. I told you to go
to the west coast and turn left.

Come on in. Show you around.

Well, this is it.

This is where he lives.

No, no, not God. Hugh Hefner.

Hey, isn't this incredible?

This is the only house in California
that has its own zip code.

I know what you're thinking. It looks
like an outtake from a Fellini movie.

Actually, this is a pilot for a series
called, uh, Hefner's Angels.

You don't believe any of that, do you?

What we really have here is just a
typical Hefner party.

Well, maybe not typical.

The party is in honor of the Playboys
Playmates.

The girls who have graced the
centerfolds of Playboy magazine for over

a generation.

And they're all here today.

We need who?

Everyone. Miss November, Miss February,
Miss August, Miss Conception, Miss

Delanious, and a lawsuit for
misrepresentation if I don't stop

clowning around.

You know, throughout the course of the
party, you'll be meeting some of the

most beautiful girls in the world, one
of whom will be honored as Playmate of

the Year.

We'll also be meeting a delightful young
comedian, Mr. Jay Leno.

Nashville's own sweet songbird, Barbara
Mandrell, and the exciting disco sounds

of Johnny Taylor.

plus a host of celebrity guests from the
world of entertainment, sports, and

ceramics.

I'm Dick Martin, and I'll be your guide
through this party of playmates,

personalities, and a glimpse of what
it's really like to own a piece of the

rock.

Follow me.

Hello, Dick. Come on over.

Sit down.

Well, I certainly hope I'm interrupting
something.

Well, as a matter of fact, we were just
discussing how much Lillian enjoys

strawberries.

Well, now, Lillian, if all he's offering
you is a strawberry, I'll give you ten

of them and throw in a fruit cocktail.

That's the worst I've had all year.

Tell you what, I'll make you two dozen
strawberries and an avocado.

Dick, let me introduce you, before this
goes any further, to Lillian Mueller.

She's our current reigning Flamey of the
Year.

Well, you sure know how to pick them.
Well, let's say I've had more practice

than most people. I'd say.

But actually, of course, I don't pick
the Playmate of the Year by myself.

The editors of Playboy do the final
selection. We have the 12 girls. They're

reviewed in the January issue, and then
one is selected each June as the

Playmate of the Year.

Lillian is our current reigning queen,
and before the night is over, we're

going to pick a new one.

Born 1977.

That's beautiful.

My compliments to the editors.

And I'm a little confused, though.
Mueller is a German name, and your

accent sounds a little Scandinavian.

Well, I'm actually Norwegian, but my
accent is a combination of several

countries in Europe.

Ah. Say, I don't want to bring anything
up, Hefner, but doesn't that girl over

there know there's an oil shortage?

I think that's all right. That's coconut
oil.

This one likes strawberries, that one
likes coconuts. How come all I ever get

is a lemon?

Well, let me assure you, Dick, that
she's no lemon. That's Claudia Jennings,

who's Playmate of the Year from 1970.

Oh, I think you have steered me in the
right direction. It's a very good year.

Hi,

Claudia.

Hi.

How'd you know my name? Are you kidding?
I'd recognize you anywhere.

Weren't you in... Let's see.

Crowd scene number three, bound for
glory.

Let's see. If I remember correctly, it
was number five.

You're adorable.

Come on over and join the crowd. Sure.

Hello, Claudia.

Hi. Hello, Lillian.

Hi. I think it's interesting to know,
I'm sure you've talked about it before,

but both of you started out the same way
and now are pursuing...

Lily is kind of pursuing the same acting
career that you've been doing since you

were Playmate of the Year in 1970.

1970?

That's seven years ago.

All right!

See, I can figure.

I can figure.

Who's counting?

All right. How many films have you done
since then, though? I've been 23.

No kidding.

Wow, that's a lot of films.

23, yeah. Just since I was Playmate of
the Year. I was knocking out about six a

year. I was very lucky.

to get to work, because I've been on
stage work before.

I know you're an actor.

You're going to start to do films here.

Yeah, I did my three films in Europe,
and then I decided to come out here and

break into American movies, and I
realized I have to study, you know.

So that's what I'm doing now, and I
think I'm getting better all the time.

You're going to study in the States.

Yes, I'm doing it here now.

If you really want to be in show
business, I'm looking for a new partner.

Oh, yeah? If you could grow a mustache.

No, let me give you a bit of it. Well,
don't.

Oh, you'll love the road.

I've been talking to him all the time.

Come on and join the game, will you? We
need help.

you know what you did wrong.

So I was wondering, why don't you come
out of the match and sit in the chair

with me and we'll referee the match
together.

No, I'm sorry.

Why?

I did once with Don Ho and I missed the
match.

Hey, I'll bet you're Dana House, Miss
January, right?

Right. And didn't you do a picture with
Hank Fonda, the last of the cowboys?

Right. And didn't you, in fact, do a
Starsky and Hutch?

Right. And how about that new NBC pilot
you just did?

So you're my agent, huh?

Hey, if I was your agent, you wouldn't
be working swimming pools, I'll tell you

that.

Now, I read your biog in a magazine.

Oh, I see. What else did it say?

Well, it said you were a good old...
fashion country girl? Well, yeah, I grew

up in Texas.

Did you? Yeah, I still love those horses
and ranches. Pretty country. Oh, I love

it. Whereabouts in Texas?

Well, I was born in Dallas, and I was
raised in Houston.

Went to school there most of my life.
How long have you been out here?

Been out here about five years now. Ah,
and a welcome sight.

Isn't this one of your co-playmates?

Yeah, Denise Michelle from Hawaii. Hi,
Denise.

Hi, Denise.

How are you?

Dana tells me you're from Hawaii.

I love Hawaii.

I could live in Hawaii.

I'd like to move to Los Angeles.

You'd like to move to Los Angeles and
leave that beautiful Polynesian

paradise? I don't believe that. Come on.
Well, just for a little while. What

would you like to do?

I'd like to further my modeling career
and maybe get some acting.

You're a model?

I try to be. I bet you'd be a good
actress, too.

I don't know about that. I'll give it a
try.

Are you going to give it a try? Yeah.
Both of you. I think the pictures and

television could use actresses like you.

We think so.

All right, I'll tell you what. Right
here, we'll cast a picture.

I'll be the... You'll be the casting
director. We'll do the Andrews sisters.

I'll be Patty, you'll be Maxine, you'll
be Laverne. That'd be great.

Great. I don't know about you guys, but
I'm going back in the water.

Bye. I don't much blame you, and I'm
going to join you.

have a swimming coach for your dog
there?

Well, it's not my dog. That's Sandra's.

Sandra Theodore.

A rather special lady.

Between you and me, is she going to be
Playmate of the Year? You can tell me.

Well, not this year, Dick. Maybe next.

Is she on the waiting list?

No, she hasn't even appeared in the
magazine yet.

She's scheduled for our July issue.

Sandra, have you met Dick?

Hi.

Who's your friend? Alex, the Mud of the
Month.

He's kicking on us.

Sandra is very protective about Alex.
She actually saved him from the dog

pound. Yeah, he only cost me $11.

Oh. That's not hard.

Beth tells me you're going to be in the
July issue.

What decided you to become a playmate?

Well, I was very undecided about it at
first. And then I talked to people at

Playboy. I thought, what the heck? I'm
having fun.

An assistant or a photographer takes
three or four Polaroids of them just to

see what they look like naked, which is
very harmless.

From that Polaroid, the editors and
photographer look at those to see if

it warrants a test, which involves about
two or three hours of real shooting.

And at that test, you shoot different
angles to see how their bodies look best

and how their face looks best.

First of all, I have to gain her trust
that I'm going to make her look very

beautiful, that I'm not going to
infringe on her privacy or, you

know, because she's naked, she feels
very vulnerable.

So you have to...

Like, become her friend and show her
that you're not going to shoot gross

pictures of her so she feels relaxed.

No big deal.

We're not going to publish it just to
see what you look like.

Relax.

Ready?

Okay. Let's start.

Chin down a bit.

Turn your head profile.

Chin down and look at yourself, opening
your mouth.

All right, well, this takes us through
the middle of the year.

And so what we're going to be looking at
is from July on, right?

Mm-hmm. All right, I'd like to begin the
data sheet page in the Playmate feature

with the July issue.

Okay. So I'll communicate that to
Chicago.

And I think that in addition to the data
material itself, if we can include some

early photographs of the girl, what
we're trying to do is personalize the

girl even more and make her more of a
human being.

Put your right foot up on the side of
the tub.

Move it in parallel.

And put your hand, your right hand, lean
it over like that.

Up there.

Okay.

Now your head up just a bit more.

Okay. Pretty good. Let's try it.

Okay, Sandra, bring your hand in your
left hand in a little bit. There you go.

You have to hold this for a while

Yeah, this is going to work well.

Now, with the piano shots, I would like
to get, obviously, you know, some

nudity. But I would also like to stay
away from things as extreme as this.

Okay. And work towards the more natural
kind of poses.

What I particularly like about her is a
combination of freshness and sensuality.

And I think we definitely have July
here.

It's going to work very well. Good.

You know, that'd make an interesting
film, huh?

Yeah, we ought to think about filming it
sometime.

You know, Sandra really personifies the
sort of fresh, wholesome beauty we're

looking for. You know, the typical girl
next door.

The girl next door?

Boy, do I live in the wrong
neighborhood.

I'm moving in with you.

Okay.

met before, haven't we? You're Deborah
Patterson?

Peterson. I only missed by one letter.

And let me take another guess. You're
Miss December.

June. I only missed by one season.

Do you know my name? Dean Martin.

Dick Martin.

I only missed by a couple letters.

Touche.

All of this going on, and you say that
you prefer a guy who is broke?

It depends, you know. But, you know,
just that most of the guys I have met

who have been really nice, they happen
to have been broke.

Wait a minute. I don't know why that is.

I don't know why that is either.

Well, I tell you, I'm going to split
then, because I don't think I can go

broke soon enough for you, Lillian.

Bye-bye. You never know.

The idea is to get the ball over the
net. Good.

Huh?

Oh, I'm tired.

I'm really tired. Yeah, I got so tired.
My back, everything hurts.

Well, no, I'm just going to sit down
just for a minute.

Okay, here.

Can I sit here?

Nobody's sitting here.

No.

I'm very tired.

I feel like I'm at a smorgasbord.

Where are you from?

St. Louis.

What? St. Louis.

St. Louis. Oh, isn't that where the
elephants bury their tusks when they're

about to die?

No.

You hear a lot?

Yeah, pretty much.

I come here a lot. I like the animals.
You know, I like to see the animals.

What's your name?

Patty. Patty? Patty.

Patty.

Patty. Patty.

Tell me something the way I talk.

McGuire? What's yours?

McGuire, you German?

Oh, right now.

Hi. Hi.

Hey, watch it, fella. Watch it. You want
me to... Hey.

You fooling with 160 pounds of untamed
love right here.

Wait a minute. How about the match?
There's something wrong here. I think I

love you.

Do you want to arm wrestle me for her?
That wouldn't be bad. Do you?

Should we?

Listen, read my lips. Do you want to arm
wrestle me for her?

Say, I'll back him right down. She's
yours.

Thanks a lot. I can see. See, the man
can tell. He can see. He recognizes

strength. That's right. Thank you very
much.

If he ever gives you any trouble, you
let me know.

No,

uh, what?

Sweat. It said no sweat.

Kind of, the E was kind of stretched out
there. And they left out the A.

Huh? They left out the A.

Ah.

Boy, this is, this is sure fun, isn't
it?

You want to, you want to play some
tennis?

Sure, why not?

Why not?

Because there's something else, maybe,
would you like to swim?

How about a jacuzzi?

Excuse me? I said, how about a jacuzzi?

What do you, what is that?

Oh, it's really nice.

What is it?

What is it?

What, is there an echo in here? What is
it?

Take him out of this room.

What is it?

Is that the thing where you sit and
everybody gets hot and you sweat a lot

and everything?

Well, you don't have to sweat, no.

You don't have to sweat? It's just a lot
of nice, warm, swirling water.

Good for your muscles, sore muscles.

Really? Yeah. You don't have to lift
weights or nothing? No.

That's all you do in there? Sit back and
relax.

Sit back and relax.

This is wonderful.

Hi. We're coming to you from...

Downtown Burbank.

I have to do this because Hefner will
never let me in the house again.

You've heard about games people play?

Well, this is where Hefner plays.

A lot of people would call this a summer
house.

He calls it a game house.

Come on in.

You don't remember me.

Let me think. Were we ever married?

No, not quite.

But you did paint my body once.

I painted your body once?

You don't remember.

Okay, I'm going to make it easy for you.
I'm Janice Pennington, and you painted

my body on Laugh-In.

Janice Pennington, of course I remember.

Didn't you sue us? Oh, no.

No, the paint, it finally wore off. It
did? Yeah.

Hello, Dick. I see you've met one of our
Pennington playmates. Oh, and one of the

really pretty ones. One of my favorite
people, too. Did you say one of our

Pennington playmates?

Well, you see, I was a playmate in 1971,
and my sister Ann, she was Miss March

this past year.

Hey, that's wild.

Has that ever happened before? Did you
ever have sisters as playmates before?

Well, we had a pair of identical twins
once a few years ago, but that's it.

How about mother and daughter?

Not yet. We do have, I think one of the
early playmates has a daughter that's

now working in the New York club as a
bunny. Oh, that's too much. I can't

wait. Neither can I.

Hey, what does your sister look like?

Well, Ann, she's sitting right over
there on the sofa. Why don't we go say

hi? Oh, you've just motivated me.

Ann Tennington. Ann, how are you?

Fine. I cannot believe that one set of
parents could...

Produce these two beauties. The really
beautiful part is how close the whole

family is. Ann and Janice are best
friends.

Yeah, we really are. We've even worked
together sometimes.

Doing what? Stopping traffic?

Well, besides that, Ann's worked with me
presenting the gifts on Price is Right.

Oh, whatever the price was, I'm sure it
was right.

As afternoon turns into evening,
Hefner's staff is busy preparing a

poolside buffet.

The playmates are in the bathhouse doing
whatever playmates do before a party.

So let's take a peek as they prepare for
the fun-filled nighttime festivities to

follow.

for the day.

Why didn't they call you Looney Tunes?

Don't answer.

Come on now.

That's a hard one. What are you doing?
Anybody?

Are you dating now?

Dating. You were going with some fellow,
I know. Yeah, I was, but I couldn't

handle it. Was that one of your long
ones? Your long relationships? It was

about two months.

That's good for you.

That's about seven weeks longer than
most of them.

Nobody interesting on the horizons?

Well, I'm thinking about when it's
around the corner.

Do people tell you you like Judy
Holliday?

They do a lot. It's a vibrato voice.

You have a what? A vibrato kind of voice
speaking.

Plus, maybe it's because I like to look
at furniture and talk to furniture.

You know, you look different though.

I almost didn't even recognize you.

Listen, I have long blonde hair.

And I want it to be natural. I want to
look the same in the morning. Yeah.

So I just let the roots grow out. It
looks great.

You really look terrific.

Thank you, really. I must have
recognized you by the pool.

Yeah. Well, I think I'll probably let
you go back into your position.

Yeah, I need it. I really do.

Are you getting ready for the party?

Yeah, that's why I need it, so I can
cope with everyone.

Okay. Take care.

Okay, bye-bye. Bye.

Oh, it's so good to see you again. I
haven't seen you in so long.

First of all, tell me about your
boyfriend in London.

Oh, he's great. I've heard all about it.

Yeah.

I know, everybody's talking, right?

Everybody's talking. There's more rumors
about you than anybody around this

world.

All good, I hope.

I don't know if they're good on you, but
there's lots of them.

And I heard you did a movie.

You weren't even rapping when I knew you
were.

No, not really. I did a movie last
summer in Mexico.

It's premiering this week, as a matter
of fact, in Mexico City.

Tintorera. I was eaten by a shark. Is
that the shark trip?

Far out, I heard of it.

How did you get eaten by a shark? Was it
mechanical? Oh, I was straddled to it.

No, it was a real shark. It was dead.
It'd been dead three days. It'd been in

a deep breeze.

Really? Are you going to make it through
the party? Oh, quick. I'm going to make

it through the party. It's been 16
hours. You've got jet lag.

Still partying? I'm tough.

You are bad.

It's only going to be a three-day-long
party. That's nothing.

I know.

I saw you go through, like, three
different skates. That's sick.

I know, but, I mean, I saw you do three
of them. You were getting so frustrated.

You're 20 pounds heavier.

So, like, so was I.

Yeah. What have you been doing?

Film? Yeah.

A lot of film. We should do series
together.

I know.

I want you to get Looney Tunes.

Oh, right.

For the comic release.

Hefner's Angels.

All right. Hey, Hef.

want to produce it?

Listen, that might be a very good
production for him. I think I ought to

have a little compliment.

A little visit me in Jacuzzi later.

How am I like that? All right, Laura.

Now get down to the nitty gritty. What
have you really been doing?

Let's get ready for the party. You've
got plenty of time to talk.

I saw your dress.

One little string. I'll sew it up for
you.

Hello, love. Hello.

Good. You look fantastic.

How are you?

Hi. Hello there.

Ladies,

this is Marjo, boy evangelist, current
actor.

And Marjo, this is Sandra Theodore,
upcoming playmate.

And Joni Mattis, my secretary, who is
also a former playmate.

Also a former playmate? I thought it
usually worked the other way around.

There's quite a big difference being a
secretary and being half secretary.

Yes,

I can definitely see the difference.

And the sweet lady is Joyce Nazari.
Joyce was a playmate, too, back in...

What was the year?

1958.

1958?

I thought that was almost 20 years ago.
Excuse me.

You could still be one today if you
wanted to, really.

You know what amazes me? That between
the four of us, we're covering three

decades here. Three decades of Fleming.

Looking good.

But in honor of this occasion, a very
talented young man named Gary Rocklin

has made a film for us, and it's sort of
a psychedelic history of the Fleming

phenomenon.

it's gonna be a four-hour film no as a
matter of fact he's got the 23 years

suppressed uh suppressed yes back into
uh a

little undressed back into about uh i
guess about seven minutes yeah and i've

got it on the cassette uh on the tv
because we're going to show it a little

later we can run it now if you'd like to

Hey, how are you? It's good to see you.

Hey,

here's a friend of mine, Christopher
Lee. How are you, Chris?

Nice to see you. And you too.

See,

I have a very simple name, Jay Leno, or
Lino, if people forget, but it's Leno.

Funny, it comes out to me first, you
know.

Hi, what's your name?

This is Jay Leno.

Lino is all right, but it's Leno. Jay
Leno, right?

The first part of our show... It's too
tight!

The

first

part of our show, we have the music...

I said, look, it's all right. I said,
look, it's not, it's not Mr.

Jay. I said, Jay Leno. Lino is okay, if
you forget, but it's Leno.

Jay Leno, right?

I said, yeah, that's fine.

Look,

don't be nervous. Just go out and say,
you know, and introduce the people.

I'm sorry I screwed it up.

Jay Leno, right?

I said, yeah.

And I sort of, well, couldn't get her
out.

Now I can't get her out.

Now I can't stay in. I just want to go
out everywhere. Everywhere, everywhere.

I did

Moonshine County Express with John
Jackson and Bill Conrad and Maureen

McCormack was coming tonight.

Well, you look great.

Hi, Dick. Hi, baby.

Oh, long time no see.

Don't you look adorable?

Thank you. Don't you look cute?

You know, I have a feeling I introduced
you.

That's my boy.

Oh, oh, oh, my.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I don't know. Don't ask
me. Please don't ask me what I'm doing.

Please don't ask me what I'm doing here.

I'll tell you what I'm doing here.

I just happen to be driving by. I wasn't
even invited. I was coming to a black

tie party with just you, Hefner, my
wife, and you and a gorgeous girl, and I

come here, and what do I find?

All these, nobody's dressed.

Nobody. Hold it down, will you, please?
They told me to project into the bottle,

folks. Bartender, get your head out of
the way.

What a night. What a night. So long.

Buttons. Looks like we got some
entertainment down by the pool. You want

to come along?

Sure. We'll grab a mitt. All right. Here
we go.

Everybody having a good time?

Okay, settle down. We got something kind
of special for you now.

Johnny Taylor.

Well, as most of you know, this party is
being held to honor a generation of

Playboy's Playmates and to announce our
new Playmate of the Year.

But first of all, I'd like you to meet
our current reigning Playmate of the

Year, who comes to us all the way from
Norway, Miss Lillian Mueller.

Lillian, you want to come on up? Where
are you?

No question as to how she got that
award.

Would you like to say something?

Yeah, I just want to tell you all that
this year as Playment of the Year has

been a really successful year for me and
I'm very happy to be here tonight and

I'm a little bit sad because I won't
have my title anymore, of course.

But I know Patty is a very nice girl and
I think she really deserves a title for

the next year.

And now, and now the big moment of the
evening.

I want you to meet the beautiful young
woman who will represent Playboy as our

1977 Playmate of the Year from St.
Louis, Missouri, our Jimmy Carter cover

girl, Miss Patty McGuire.

Patty, come on up.

Can I do anything I want to?

Anything you want. Okay.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

Really, I'd like to take this
opportunity.

to thank the editors and all the
faithful readers of Playboy magazine for

voting me the new Playmate of the Year.

And on behalf of all the Playmates ever
and myself, I'd like to thank Mr. Hugh

Hefner for creating the Playmate of the
Month.

Me too.

Just look what can come from one good
idea.

And a special and warm thanks to my
photographer, Pompeo Posar.

If it wasn't for him, I would not be
here at all. Thank you, Pompeo.

So much for the formal festivities.
Everybody dance.