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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,702 --> 00:00:05,830 Come check this out. Look at all this stuff I found up in the attic. 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,474 What? Wh... Why, that's my old trumpet. 3 00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,336 I haven't seen that thing in ages. Ha-ha-ha. 4 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,603 Oh, man, I didn't know you played the trumpet. 5 00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:16,340 When I was in college a little bit, you know. The girls all like a musician, you know? 6 00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:25,481 I met him after Princeton. 7 00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:29,853 Wow, look at all this stuff. 8 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,964 My old coloring books. 9 00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:34,623 My diary. 10 00:00:34,801 --> 00:00:37,531 Wait a minute, I didn't have Barbie. Who had a Barbie? 11 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:42,198 Well, it's not mine. My Barbie's at home fast asleep in her Barbie Dream House. 12 00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:44,537 Um... 13 00:00:44,811 --> 00:00:47,871 It doesn't matter whose it is. Let me see this trumpet. 14 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,657 - Hey, hey, hey. Morning, everybody. - Morning, Will. 15 00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:10,193 Oh. Y'all remember, don't nobody mention to Carlton... 16 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,763 ...that William Shatner's gonna be on Hilary's show. 17 00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:14,695 Don't you think you're being unfair? 18 00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:19,032 He's coming on the show and you know Carlton is a huge fan of his. 19 00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,333 Who's gonna be on Hilary's show, and who am I a huge fan of? 20 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:25,034 Uh... Uh... Uh... Billy. 21 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:26,736 Billy who? 22 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,437 Uh... 23 00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,879 Uh... Uh... Uh... Billy Butterworth. 24 00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,616 You are never going to believe what's happened. 25 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:41,624 Oh, yeah. Billy Butterworth's gonna be on your show. Big deal. 26 00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:45,256 What are you talking about? William Shatner's on the show. 27 00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:54,063 Actor, director, novelist, bon vivant William Shatner? 28 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,434 And you knew? 29 00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,168 You slept in the same pool house with me knowing this... 30 00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:01,438 ...knowing what it would mean to me, and you didn't say a word? 31 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,115 I don't even know who you are. 32 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,381 Look, Carlton, it ain't like I'm... 33 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,853 Hello? I wasn't finished. 34 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,891 - Hilary, you gotta introduce him to me. - No. 35 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,722 The network is so thrilled with all of our great guests... 36 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,557 ...that they wanna move the show to New York. 37 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:19,857 - New York? - Yeah. 38 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,730 There was a meeting with the VIPs and they think we're ready for the big time. 39 00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:27,703 Oh, wait, wait. Wait a minute, Hilary. I can't just uproot just like that. 40 00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,832 Okay. 41 00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:32,038 What do you mean "okay?" 42 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,407 - I'm gonna be out of a job. - So come. 43 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:37,106 Hilary, I can't come. I still gotta finish school. 44 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:39,815 - Okay. - What...? 45 00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,682 Look, Hilary, how come I didn't find out about this before? 46 00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:47,224 Oh, don't tell me someone withheld information from somebody. 47 00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:53,195 So just like that, you're moving to New York and I'm out of a job. 48 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:54,759 Okay. 49 00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:57,660 What about New York? 50 00:03:57,837 --> 00:04:00,499 They're moving Hilary's show to New York. 51 00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:02,834 Oh, my God, that's wonderful. 52 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,705 This is the best news I've ever heard. It's unbelievable. 53 00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:08,005 Ashley, you've never been this happy for me. 54 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,479 I still haven't been. This is about me. 55 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,817 - I can still move to New York. - Now, just hold on, young lady. 56 00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:17,218 You said I couldn't move to New York and go to The School of Performing Arts... 57 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:19,517 ...because I couldn't move there by myself. 58 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:21,819 - But now that Hilary's going... - Oh, we'll be roommates. 59 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,094 Ashley. Ashley, calm down. 60 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,325 There's more than that one reason for your not moving to New York. 61 00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:30,059 - Like what? - Uh... 62 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,067 l... I think you know. 63 00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:36,108 No, I don't. Come on. Up in Dad's office, there's a Sunday New York Times. 64 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,437 We can find an apartment from there. 65 00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:43,648 Hey, hey, hey. Stay out of my office. You can jump in here any time, Vivian. 66 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:48,810 Perhaps that iron fist that you rule with has gotten a bit rusty, sir. 67 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,689 Perhaps I should hit something. 68 00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:55,492 Be careful of misguided anger, sir. 69 00:04:56,996 --> 00:05:01,296 I'm gonna go down and have Shatner sign my copy of his new book, Man o' War. 70 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,764 What to wear? 71 00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:05,495 What to wear? 72 00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:08,432 What to wear? 73 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:16,311 Hil, I gotta let you know, I'm more than a little upset about how you played me... 74 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:20,418 ...with this whole New York thing. This is a wound that will not quickly heal. 75 00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,179 Okay. 76 00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,824 Hilary. I'm Dick West. 77 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,654 - I'm with the network. - Oh. 78 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:31,991 We're just pleased as punch to have you aboard, pretty lady. 79 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,965 Oh, thank you. We're really excited about New York. 80 00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:40,196 Everyone, I'd like you to meet William Shatner. 81 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:43,837 - How you doing? Will Smith. - Nice to meet you. 82 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,534 Pleasure to meet you. 83 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:49,148 Bill, Bill, Bill, I'm Dick West. I'm with the network. 84 00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,875 - Oh. - I noticed you drove in today. 85 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,611 Thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh? 86 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:56,846 Good one, Dick. 87 00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,288 - Thanks, guy. Hey, I'll catch you later, huh? - Oh, yeah. 88 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,156 What is it about these suits that they feel they have to make... 89 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:05,524 ...some lame Star Trek joke when they start off? 90 00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,666 - I don't unders... - William Shatner. 91 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,632 I saw your car out in the parking lot. 92 00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:16,002 I guess you thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh? Get it, huh? 93 00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,610 That's a good one, Dick. 94 00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:22,742 - Well, actually, his name is Carlton. - Who cares? 95 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:27,983 Boy, the Twilight Zones. The Star Trek episodes. The movies. 96 00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:30,918 The TekWar books. T.J. Hooker. Huh. 97 00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:35,424 How about that Heather Locklear? Hubba, hubba. 98 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:42,292 Listen, now, you don't have to shoot anything for the next three hours. 99 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:45,869 - Anything you wanna do? - Yeah, get away from this guy. 100 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:52,143 Look, everybody, I just bought my first winter coat and mittens. 101 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:56,008 And I got long underwear, wool socks, scarves and earmuffs. 102 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,582 That's great. It'll keep you nice and warm. 103 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,811 Warm? It doesn't get that cold in California. 104 00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:05,552 - Daddy, it's for New York. - Yes, but you're not going to New York. 105 00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,784 Ooh. And I got these great fleece-lined boots. 106 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,951 Oh, these are beautiful. 107 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:13,160 Ashley, is New York as far away as Disneyland? 108 00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:16,062 Nicky. Nicky. Sweetheart, she's not going to New York. 109 00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:19,693 - I know. Can I come visit you? - Yes. 110 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:23,108 - I remember my first visit to New... - Vivian. 111 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,210 - Mexico. 112 00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:28,472 Ah. New Mexico. Heh. 113 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:33,648 Nothing like taking a bite of the Big Ap... Tostada. 114 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:39,147 I am not losing both my daughters. 115 00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,691 She's my baby girl, Vivian. 116 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,658 Daddy, you're not losing us. 117 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,491 You'll know exactly where we are. 118 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,132 We'll be in New York. 119 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,962 - Let's go see what your sister bought. - Yeah. 120 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,694 You are not going to New York. 121 00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:54,362 Vivian. Vi... She's not going to New York. 122 00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:56,770 You are not going to New York. Did you hear...? 123 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,776 I'm your fath... You're not going to New York. 124 00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:08,151 She's not going to New York. 125 00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:12,722 Oh. 126 00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:15,360 All right. Best three out of five. 127 00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,691 All right, you wanna keep taking this here whooping. 128 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,958 Most people are intimidated by me. 129 00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:22,725 They let me win. 130 00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:29,735 Very funny, Will, giving me the wrong address. 131 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:41,511 Hello, Mr. William Shatner. 132 00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:43,415 Hey. 133 00:08:43,656 --> 00:08:46,454 All right. Look, now, you can stay here and you can hang out. 134 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:48,116 But remember the rules. 135 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,491 All right, I won't talk. 136 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:51,687 I promise. 137 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,290 And? 138 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:58,561 And if I feel myself getting overexcited, I take a time out. 139 00:08:58,738 --> 00:08:59,932 All right. 140 00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,165 Now go sit down somewhere. 141 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,941 Oh, I don't need a time out. 142 00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,380 I don't need a time out. 143 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,647 I'm sorry, Will, I can't help it. 144 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:20,485 I forgot to ask you this at the studio, but would you please sign this picture? 145 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:24,152 Just make it out to, "Carlton, my best friend on Earth, bar none." 146 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:28,596 I can't. I have this arrangement with the people who do the Star Trek conventions. 147 00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,759 I have to charge you $50. 148 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:32,897 But I don't have $50. 149 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,903 - Would you take a check? - No. 150 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:39,202 Try and cash it at the bar. And while you're there, get me a drink. 151 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:45,714 Coming right up, Mr. William Shatner. 152 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,811 You know that cousin of yours is really attractive. 153 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,650 Carlton? 154 00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:55,890 - No, no, no. Not him. - I mean, he cute but I ain't never really... 155 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:57,188 Your cousin Hilary. 156 00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,593 Oh. Oh. Heh. Better watch it. 157 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,461 Hilary be taking aerobics and stuff like that. It might hurt you. 158 00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:03,795 Aerobics. Ha. 159 00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,494 That sounds good. 160 00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,400 Well, nope, she's off limits, anyway. 161 00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:10,838 She's taking her show to New York. I'm out of a job. 162 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,739 She ain't even warn me. 163 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,504 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 164 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,841 I've been canceled a time or two myself. 165 00:10:17,016 --> 00:10:19,041 Always led to something better. 166 00:10:19,218 --> 00:10:22,881 I mean, remember, as long you've got a job, you do the best job you can. 167 00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:26,650 And look at you, you're a bright guy. You'll bounce back on your feet. 168 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,453 Hey, thanks a lot, man. 169 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,290 Hey, you wouldn't happen to know anybody, would you? 170 00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:33,694 We move in different circles. 171 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,927 - Here you go. - Thanks. Now sit back down. 172 00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:43,200 Will, I wanna play pool too. 173 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,604 No. 174 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,267 Come on, just one shot. 175 00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:49,642 I wanna be able to say that I shot pool with William Shatner. 176 00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,908 Carlton, he doesn't like you. 177 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,110 How could he like you more than me? You haven't even read any of his books. 178 00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:59,849 - He doesn't care about any of that stuff. - Well, I do. Now give me the stick. 179 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:01,653 - Let go. Let go. - Give me the stick. 180 00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:03,918 Oh! Oh. 181 00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:05,529 My tooth. 182 00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,689 You broke my tooth. 183 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,974 My tooth. You broke my damn tooth. 184 00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:18,269 Oh. I'm sorry. We can get you right to the dentist. 185 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:20,309 - Stand back. Stand back. - All right. 186 00:11:20,479 --> 00:11:23,471 Don't worry, Jim. We'll get you there warp speed. 187 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:24,843 Get a life. 188 00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:29,684 I know a dentist. We can get you there, have you fixed in time for The Hilary Show. 189 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:30,913 I'm not doing any show. 190 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:33,888 This is my mistake. You can't take this out on my cousin. 191 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:37,223 I can take it out on anyone I want. I'm William Shatner. 192 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:40,797 Will. 193 00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:44,732 Did you sense the power in that man? 194 00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,697 Shut up. 195 00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,408 - He's in here. - Oh, great. 196 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:02,179 Listen, Will, I'm gonna hop in the chair with him. 197 00:12:02,354 --> 00:12:04,515 Take a picture. Quick. 198 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,415 Carlton. 199 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,220 No. Would you stop acting stupid? 200 00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:15,359 Hey, Mr. Shatner, look, I'm really sorry that I busted your tooth, man. 201 00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:18,196 But can you please come with us to do my cousin Hilary's show? 202 00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:24,233 Well... 203 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:28,141 Look, you know, this is my mistake and I don't want you to take it out on Hilary. 204 00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:30,111 This is really, really important to her. 205 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,951 Oh, man. Carlton, he all hyped up on that goofy gas. Man, turn that thing off. 206 00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,218 Oh, boy. 207 00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:47,988 - Mm. - I don't know how to work this thing. 208 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,260 Look, come on. Come on. Snap out of it. 209 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,264 "Hangding." 210 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,402 Carlton, he ain't snapping out of it, man. 211 00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,469 - I thought this room was empty. - You was wrong then, wasn't you, brother? 212 00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:03,206 All right, this what we gonna do. I'm gonna pick him up. 213 00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:06,977 I'm gonna put him over my shoulder, carry him out. But you go out there first. 214 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:10,122 I need you to stay there. Make sure that the coast is clear... 215 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:17,357 Carlton? Carlton, what is the ma...? 216 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,964 What is the matter with you, man? 217 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,300 Carlton, would you stop playing? 218 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,595 Come on, this is serious, man. 219 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,264 Hey, Bill, look. 220 00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,725 I'm Timmy the Tooth. 221 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,229 Hi, Timmy. 222 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,967 Wait, wait, wait. I wanna be Timmy. Let me be Timmy. 223 00:14:04,476 --> 00:14:06,444 Whoo! 224 00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:11,777 Hey, hey. You Timmy the tooth. I'm Bubba Gump. 225 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,688 Hey, wait. Wait. Wait a second. 226 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,260 Hey, Carlton, look. 227 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,693 Uncle Phil's toothbrush. 228 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:33,104 Hey, come on, let's brush. Let's brush. Let's brush. 229 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,640 Oh, wait, wait. Hold on. Now, let's rinse. 230 00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,277 We gotta rinse it off. 231 00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:47,080 Will, wait. Wait. I got an idea. I got an idea. I got an idea. 232 00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:52,447 Let's brush his teeth. 233 00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:56,986 No. No, no. I got a better idea. 234 00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:58,686 Let's pick him clean. 235 00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,756 Oh, my God. 236 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,226 Oh! Whoa! 237 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,964 Spock, is that you? 238 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:10,906 Your ears are the same but something's different. 239 00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:16,278 Uhura. Hey, open up the hailing frequency. 240 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:20,014 Captain, the dilithium crystals are almost gone. 241 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:24,349 The matter/antimatter reactors are failing. 242 00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:28,186 Scotty, you're black. 243 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,124 The bridge, it's changed. 244 00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:35,194 Spasers on spun. 245 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,268 Oh, my tooth. Bones, fix it. 246 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:42,366 Damn it, Jim. I'm a black boy from Philly, not a doctor. 247 00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:58,154 Will, where have you been? 248 00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,019 And where is Mr. Shatner? 249 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:03,184 He went... Oh. He... 250 00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:07,328 Yo, Billy. Where you at, boy? 251 00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:09,694 Here I go, dog. 252 00:16:09,868 --> 00:16:11,096 Here you go, brother. 253 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,703 Throw your hands in the air 254 00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:14,270 If you's a true player 255 00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:22,674 This guy kills me. He's killing me. 256 00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:24,914 Will... 257 00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,848 ...what did you do to him? - Nothing. 258 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,887 Hey, Werner, I just wanna say... 259 00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:32,887 ...I love you, man. 260 00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:39,926 Sulu, where you been? And why are you out of uniform? 261 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,668 I never liked that guy. 262 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:47,869 Mr. Shatner, look, I don't know what it is that this man has done to you. 263 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,871 But whatever it is, I apologize... 264 00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:53,443 ...and I hope we can just work it out without any legal action. 265 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:56,177 What you talking about? This guy loves us, right? 266 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,543 Absolutely. I'll see you in court. 267 00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:04,117 Everybody, rumba. 268 00:17:04,289 --> 00:17:07,087 - Rumba. - Rumba. 269 00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:13,295 - Thirty seconds for Mr. Shatner. - Mr. Shatner is not quite ready for air. 270 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:16,332 What do you mean not ready? Do you know who you're talking to? 271 00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,970 That's right, boy. You better recognize. 272 00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:21,003 Mr. Shatner, I didn't mean... 273 00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:23,733 No, no. You better not had meant, I know you ain't mean. 274 00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:25,001 Smarten up, Opie. 275 00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:29,171 I may be in an altered state right now but when those cameras are on me... 276 00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:33,648 ...and those lights hit me, I'll be 100 percent dope. 277 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:37,050 - Oh! - That's right, homey. 278 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:40,350 It's all good. It's all good. 279 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:45,620 It's all good. 280 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,024 Works for me. Let's get him on the stage. 281 00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,066 Okay, posse, this way. 282 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:53,397 - No, no, no. - What do you mean "no, no, no"? 283 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,836 This way. This way. This way. 284 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:06,313 Hello, and welcome to Hilary. 285 00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:10,114 Please give a warm Hilary welcome to actor, director... 286 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:15,886 ...and author of this new and exciting book, Man o' War, William Shatner. 287 00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:24,832 William Shatner, what would you like to talk about? 288 00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:28,497 Girl, you a bad mamma jamma. 289 00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:30,869 I know. 290 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:37,377 Oh, that goofy gas gave me such a headache. 291 00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:41,144 Oh, look, I just wanna apologize for everything that I put you through. 292 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,788 The least I could've done was let you beat me at pool. 293 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,221 Whoa, wait a minute. Beat me at pool. You never beat me at pool. 294 00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:51,185 Oh, Bill, Bill, Bill. 295 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:54,264 I see you still got your buzz on a little bit, huh? 296 00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:57,402 Listen, I can beat you at pool anytime, any place, any planet. 297 00:18:57,569 --> 00:19:00,470 Don't let your mouth write a check your pool stick can't cash. 298 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,266 - That sounds like a challenge. - Yes. 299 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,375 Well, put your hand there. 300 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,238 - You call me sometime. - All right. 301 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:08,276 Okay. 302 00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:12,680 And captain... 303 00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:15,479 ...live long and prosper. 304 00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:19,583 Hey, what about my autograph? 305 00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:25,056 Oh, look. This one's on the Upper East Side. 306 00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:27,425 Oh, the shopping there is unbelievable. 307 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,931 This is the happiest I've ever been. 308 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,569 Ashley? 309 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,035 Sweetheart, I've been doing a lot of thinking... 310 00:19:34,206 --> 00:19:36,504 ...and there's no reason for you to be so down. 311 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,704 I've decided... 312 00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:42,904 Are you ready for this? 313 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,050 - to let you move to New York. 314 00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:50,981 - But, Daddy... - Honey, honey, let him have this one. 315 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:55,122 Oh, thank you, Daddy. 316 00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:02,630 - I'm telling you, Will. He liked me more. - I believe you, Carlton. 317 00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:04,701 He did like me more. He did. 318 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:09,573 Okay. Y'all was like brothers and I was really jealous. 319 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:13,772 Now, doesn't the truth make you feel better? 320 00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:19,273 Will, I know that the show's moving to New York... 321 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,146 ...came as kind of a surprise to you... 322 00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:26,485 ...but I just wanna let you know that if you ever change your mind... 323 00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:29,388 ...there'll always be a place for you at The Hilary Show. 324 00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:34,091 Hey, well, thanks a lot, Hil. 325 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:36,996 You know, but you don't have to worry about me, you know. 326 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:40,138 Because by then, you know, I'll probably have my own show. 327 00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:43,166 Yeah. You know, because I might be unemployed now... 328 00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:47,540 ...but I'm the type of brother you can't keep down. 329 00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:49,640 Okay. 330 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:54,248 You know, because in the face of adversity... 331 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:58,082 ...you know, that's when Will Smith, you know, really shines. 332 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,851 You know, that's... You know, because I'm at my best. 333 00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:03,256 Adversity put me in all my glory. 334 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,591 Adversification, but... 335 00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:11,195 You know, it's really good to see... 336 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:14,100 ...how much this family cares about what we think and feel. 337 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:18,334 It sure is. I mean, you should have seen how Ashley felt about what I thought. 338 00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:22,207 Yeah. You should have saw how Hilary was acting about, you know, my future. 339 00:21:22,381 --> 00:21:25,839 She was worried. Yeah. We got a lot to be thankful for, man. 340 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,714 - Yeah, we sure do. We sure do. - Yeah. 341 00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:30,855 I lost my job, you lost your daughter. 342 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:32,718 - Two daughters. - Two of them. Deuce. Deuce. 343 00:21:34,660 --> 00:21:36,252 Yeah. 344 00:21:36,695 --> 00:21:39,357 Oh, yeah, I got a lot to be thankful for. 345 00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:41,590 Yeah, man. 346 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,667 - Yeah. - Shoot. 347 00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:50,901 Will you hold me? 27668

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