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1
00:00:00,870 --> 00:00:02,872
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:28,898
Uh, just doing
a little dusting, honey.
3
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:31,857
Yeah, with a leaf blower?
4
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:33,468
Yeah, well, it beats the tower
5
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:34,947
over that sissy,
feather duster.
6
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,297
[LAUGHING]
7
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:37,472
I'm all done.
8
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:38,516
[CAROL EXCLAIMS]
9
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:44,000
I'll, I'll fix this
when I come back in.
10
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:46,785
Honey, I like your hair.
11
00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,048
Did you do
something different?
12
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,441
Yeah, that wind-blown look.
13
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:52,487
I like it.
14
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:55,707
[LAUGHING]
15
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:57,753
Well, what's going on?
16
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,234
Well, Dad says you're not
supposed to work so hard
17
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:03,324
because you're pregnant
so we're all pitching in.
18
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:05,369
Well, I really appreciate
that,
19
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,893
and you're doing
a very good job.
20
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,721
I would just like
to say one thing
21
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:12,376
about the way that
you're folding these towels.
22
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:15,684
See, I like to do it
like this,
one-third, one third.
23
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:19,253
Bend, bend, and fold.
24
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,211
See?
25
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,952
Let me show you again, okay?
26
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,128
Okay. Just watch me.
Here we go.
27
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:29,785
One-third, one-third.
Bend, bend and fold.
28
00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:34,094
See? All the edges
are smooth. Huh? Happy towels.
29
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,836
Mom, every time we do
something around the house,
30
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,273
you say we're doing it wrong.
31
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,405
Oh, no, no.
You're not doing it wrong.
32
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:44,278
It's just that I do it better.
33
00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,193
Okay, let me show you
once more, all right.
34
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,759
Just watch me.
Here we go.
35
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:51,937
One-third, one-third.
Bend, bend, and fold.
36
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,287
See?
37
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:54,723
Good towel.
38
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:55,985
Better towel.
39
00:01:58,596 --> 00:01:59,684
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
40
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,518
MAN:
♪ The dream got broken
41
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:09,477
♪ Seemed like all was lost
42
00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:11,305
♪ What would be the future
43
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,002
♪ Could you pay the cost?
44
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,090
♪ You wonder
45
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,874
♪ Will there ever be
46
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,920
♪ A second time around?
47
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,141
WOMAN:
♪ Woah-a, woah-a
48
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,533
♪ When the tears are over
49
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,840
♪ And the moment has come
50
00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:28,713
♪ Say, "My Lord
I think I found someone"
51
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,498
♪ You know it will be better
52
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,282
♪ 'Cause you're putting
it together
53
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,893
♪ For the second time around
54
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:44,294
ALL:
♪ Step by step, day by day
55
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:45,600
WOMAN:
♪ Day by day
56
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:47,167
ALL:
♪ A fresh start over
57
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,864
♪ A different hand to play
58
00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:50,692
♪ The deeper we fall
59
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:53,303
♪ The stronger we stay
60
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:55,131
WOMAN:
♪ We'll make it better
61
00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,394
MAN:
♪ Second time around ♪
62
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,578
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
63
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,104
Hey, guys. Guess what.
64
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,672
The greatest thing
happened to me today.
65
00:03:14,759 --> 00:03:16,108
Well, congratulations.
66
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,023
Did you finally outgrow
that training bra?
67
00:03:22,985 --> 00:03:24,639
Hey, JT. That's real funny
68
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:27,076
for a greaseball slacker
with no future
69
00:03:27,163 --> 00:03:28,904
and an inflatable girlfriend.
70
00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,605
Oh, yeah?
71
00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:37,521
Well, uh, you got big shoes.
72
00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:42,265
Man, that was lame.
73
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,313
So, Dana,
what's your good news?
74
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,098
Well, the head
of the History Department
75
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,753
asked me to tutor some
high school students. Ah!
76
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,016
This is going to look great
on my resume.
77
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,671
It's just going to be me
and one other college student
78
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,977
teaching a room full of kids.
79
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,457
Wow. Well, who's your partner?
80
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:01,937
I don't know,
81
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,591
but they only pick
the cream of the crop.
82
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,245
Whoever it is
must be brilliant.
83
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:08,030
Hey, hey, hey.
84
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:14,645
Hey, Dana-burger.
85
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:15,733
[HONKING]
86
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,388
Hey, I'll bet you never guess
87
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,694
who your new
teaching partner is.
88
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:24,568
Oh, God. That's impossible.
89
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:27,267
Okay, I'll give you a hint.
90
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,965
Now, he lives
in your driveway.
91
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,750
He's wearing a cheese hat.
92
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:36,928
-He's carrying an air horn.
-[HONKING]
93
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:42,238
-This isn't fair.
-Dude, it's me.
94
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:45,850
Man, I thought the cheese hat
was a dead giveaway.
[CHUCKLES]
95
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:48,331
My little teaching partner.
96
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:49,767
Hey, Dana.
97
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:50,855
-[HONKING]
-Whoa.
98
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,305
Well, hi... oh...
99
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,785
This is so great.
100
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:10,222
I just love the way
you're all helping out.
101
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,182
See. It's not like you have
to do everything yourself.
102
00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:14,270
You know?
103
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:20,189
Right.
104
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:24,193
Uh, Karen, gee, you're doing
just a wonderful job here.
105
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,369
But let me show you
a better way, okay?
106
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,719
See, all the cups
should be facing
107
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:31,069
in exactly the same direction.
108
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,507
See? One right after another,
109
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,813
all like they're little
soldiers on parade.
110
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,426
You're scaring me, mom.
111
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,820
Honey, they're just
coffee cups.
112
00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:44,300
They're not the blue angels.
113
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:47,129
They don't have to fly
in formation.
114
00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:50,567
Well, Frank, you just can't
put things away willy-nilly
115
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:53,614
like you're doing
with the cans.
116
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:55,180
What's wrong with the cans?
117
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,182
Well, you can't see the labels
118
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:58,662
so you don't know
if they're alphabetized
119
00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,185
Oor in their correct
food groups.
120
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,580
Also, they're not stacked
121
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,365
according to height, weight,
and nutritional value.
122
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,064
That's it. I quit.
123
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:10,805
I'm not working for Carol,
the Nazi Kitchen Master
124
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,459
anymore.
125
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,852
Fine. I'll do it myself.
It'll just take a second.
126
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,463
See? Okay, here we go.
127
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,813
Soup, fruit, fruit.
128
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,858
Honey, stop. Carol,
Carol, whoa, honey.
129
00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:23,383
-What?
-Stop. Can't keep doing this.
130
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:24,732
If you do,
you're going to burn out,
131
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,298
and that's not good
for the baby.
132
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,909
You mean,
if Carol works too hard,
133
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,824
it could hurt the baby?
134
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,565
Well, don't worry. I'm not
going to work too hard.
135
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:33,480
It's just that
I just can't relax
136
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:36,308
unless everything
is done perfect.
137
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,876
Well, I'm going
to do something
I can't possibly mess up...
138
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:40,312
I'm gonna make sure
there's toilet paper
139
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,662
in all the bathrooms.
140
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:43,707
That's a good idea, honey.
141
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:46,144
Uh, Karen. Karen. Um...
142
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:48,190
Make sure
that it rolls from the front
143
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,757
-and not from the back, okay?
-Yeah.
144
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,281
And, Karen, fold
the bottom corner
145
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:54,152
you know, into a little point
146
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,416
so it comes down
to a little "V"
at the bottom, okay?
147
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,765
You know what? I'll show you.
148
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:02,465
Dad, with all due respect,
149
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:03,684
you're married to a psycho.
150
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:05,990
Tell me about it.
151
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,350
Hey, Dana-burger.
152
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,178
Dude.
153
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:23,181
Whoa. Hey, you know something
I just realized?
154
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:24,835
From behind,
you look just like
155
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:27,969
my fifth grade teacher,
Mrs. Neidermeyer.
156
00:07:28,056 --> 00:07:30,972
Only you don't got blue hair.
[LAUGHS]
157
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:33,148
and you don't have those arm
flap jobbies hanging down.
158
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,845
Yeah? Yeah.
159
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,499
And your butt's
not 40 feet wide.
160
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,068
Man, other than that,
you're a dead ringer.
161
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:43,463
-You're 20 minutes late.
-Oh, yeah.
162
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,552
I know, but wait
till you hear the reason.
163
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:48,946
You're just going to want
to give me a great big hug.
164
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,819
Okay, dig it. I signed up
our class to appear
165
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:55,257
on the hit TV game show
It's Academic.
166
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:58,521
They're going to be on TV
two weeks from today. Hah!
167
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,262
Are you nuts?
168
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:02,699
You want to take a bunch
of remedial students
169
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:05,310
and put them on TV
against geniuses?
170
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,922
Hey, don't fight it.
Just give me the hug.
171
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:13,362
Why would they even want
these kids
172
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:14,929
on their show, anyway?
173
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:17,366
Dude, it's the classic
docudrama.
174
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:19,324
The haves against
the have-nots,
175
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,196
David against Goliath,
176
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:22,893
Rocky against Apollo Creed,
177
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,721
Rocky against Mr. T,
178
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,810
Rocky against
that Big Russian dude.
179
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,857
Well, you know,
by the fifth Rocky,
180
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,598
you'd figure he wouldn't be
the underdog any more.
181
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,688
[BELL RINGING]
182
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:38,866
I hope this isn't going
to take long.
183
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:40,781
I got Goof Troopcoming on
at 5:00.
184
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,045
Okay, people. Take your seats.
185
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,742
We've got a lot to cover.
186
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,831
Oh, good. Another junior
professor here
187
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,137
to help us dumb kids.
188
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:54,098
Uh, my name is Miss Foster.
189
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:57,624
-And this is Mr. Lambert.
-Yeah.
190
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,756
But you guys can call me,
Codeman.
191
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:02,542
If that's not a roblem
with Miss Foster.
192
00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,719
No problem.
193
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:08,112
Now, today,
we will be discussing
194
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:10,462
the Civil War.
195
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:14,423
[CLEARS THROAT]
This conflict was the result
of a constitutional crisis
196
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:16,904
that pitted northern
Industrial interests
197
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:20,081
against the agrarian society
of southern gentility.
198
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:21,909
Boring!
199
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,828
Hey, all right, you guys,
hold it down a little bit.
200
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,307
Give her a chance to warm up.
201
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:31,701
You know, she's kind of like
an old VW.
202
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,573
Got to get those juices
flowing. [CHUCKLES]
203
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:39,230
-Thank you, Mr. Codeman.
-Hey.
204
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,363
Now, in a strictly
academic sense,
205
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,018
the Civil War wasn't so much
a military battle,
206
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:46,368
but a conflagration
between the proponents
207
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:48,326
of states' rights
208
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:52,113
And the advocates of a strong
central government authority.
209
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,419
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
210
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,987
Excuse me there,
Professor Dana-burger.
211
00:09:57,074 --> 00:09:58,641
Can I have a word
with you over here
212
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:00,730
in my office, please?
213
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:06,040
Okay, now, in a strictly
academic sense,
214
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:09,609
you are boring
the snot out of everybody.
215
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,349
I mean, like, I love
the Civil War,
216
00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:12,916
and you're putting me
into a coma.
217
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,094
Fine. You think
you can do better?
218
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:19,140
Here. You try
and get their attention.
219
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,968
Yeah, buddy.
220
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:22,012
Okay.
221
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:25,755
Okay, class.
222
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:27,844
Dismissed.
223
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,196
Until tomorrow afternoon.
224
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,590
Now, I want you guys
to all meet at my house.
225
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:35,983
We're going to learn
about the Civil War,
226
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,288
the Codeman way.
227
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,508
So prepare to have
your minds blown.
228
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,075
And I hope you like the smell
of gunpowder.
229
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,555
Cool.
230
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,821
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
231
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,605
So, what do you say,
Mrs. Neidermeyer?
232
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,738
You want to amble
on down to the cafeteria?
233
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:54,654
Maybe we can grab
some Tuna Noodle Casserole,
huh?
234
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:59,180
Yeah. Whoa. Hey.
You better watch out.
235
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:01,704
I think you are getting
those arm flap jobbies.
236
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:02,749
[LAUGHS]
237
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,577
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
238
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:13,107
[MARCHING DRUMS PLAYING]
239
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,109
[PATRIOTIC FLUTE
MUSIC PLAYING]
240
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:23,770
Hey, was that blond chick
your mom?
241
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,163
Wow.
242
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:32,866
-Whoa, hey, what's all this?
-This is Cody's re-creation
243
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:34,171
of the Battle of Gettysburg.
244
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,607
It's his way
of getting you ready
245
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,696
for It's Academic.
246
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,960
[PLAYING CALVALRY CHARGE]
247
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:47,097
Greetings,
fellow time travelers.
248
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,230
And welcome to the battle
gf Gettysburg.
249
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:54,496
Now, I'm going
to be your host, Generalissimo
Ulysses S. Grant.
250
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:57,368
This is cool. It's definitely
better than history class.
251
00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:58,979
Dude, this is history.
252
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,982
Look, history is not just
a bunch of boring facts.
253
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:03,853
It's about, like, cool things
254
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,681
that happened to real people
like us.
255
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:07,944
Man, that's bull. History
isn't about guys like me.
256
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:10,207
It's about a bunch
of old people.
257
00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:11,861
Nah. That's where
you're wrong, dude.
258
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,994
Like, most of the people
that fought in the Civil War
259
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:15,865
were the same age
as you guys.
260
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:19,129
-No way.
-Sure, yeah, way.
261
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,741
Cody's right. In fact,
thousands of the soldiers
262
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,613
who died in the civil war
were under the age of 18.
263
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:26,920
-Really?
-Hey.
264
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,965
Check out this book over here.
265
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:32,403
We got all kinds
of interesting facts
just like that
266
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:35,232
about spies, double agents,
267
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,756
dudes getting
their arms amputated
268
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,583
with no anesthetic...
269
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,195
just a little shot of whiskey,
maybe a bullet to bite on.
270
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:42,762
That sounds kind of cool.
Let me see that book.
271
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:43,806
Yeah.
272
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,330
Hey, hey!
273
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,941
-Ladies first.
-Yeah.
274
00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:49,333
You guys don't got to fight
about the book.
275
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,596
Man, I got tons of them
for everybody.
276
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:53,773
You know what? Codeman, you're
actually making History okay.
277
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,123
Yes. Do you think this is fun?
278
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,908
Wait till I fire off
this authentic
Civil War cannon.
279
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,127
[CHUCKLES]
280
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,476
Check this out.
281
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:03,870
Ready.
282
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,175
Aim...
283
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:06,263
Booyah!
284
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:08,526
[CRASHES]
285
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,359
Dude, where'd that cannonball
come from?
286
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,015
Man, I thought
I was shooting blanks.
287
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:38,121
[OPENING DOOR]
288
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:40,689
[WHISPERS]
Frank.
289
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:42,647
Frank, wake up.
290
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,825
-Frank.
-I'm sorry, mommy.
291
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,130
It's not my magazine.
292
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:56,661
Frank, I think I hear
somebody downstairs.
293
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:59,403
Honey, go back to sleep.
It's probably nothing.
294
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,275
No, Frank,
what if it's a burglar,
295
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:02,667
and he's armed and dangerous
296
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,191
and all hopped up on drugs
297
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,193
waiting to shoot anything
that moves?
298
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,237
Go check.
299
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,633
I checked the last time.
300
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,374
It was an armed burglar
301
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,332
hopped up on drugs, ready
to shoot anything that moves.
302
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:16,377
It's your turn.
303
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,120
Frank, you're the man.
Now, act like a man.
304
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:21,338
Do what I tell you to do.
305
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,300
All right.
306
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:29,781
Okay.
Maybe he'll knock me out,
307
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,740
and then I can at least
get some sleep.
308
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:49,062
Brendan.
309
00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:54,067
Son, it's three o'clock
in the morning.
310
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,895
I know. I couldn't sleep.
311
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,636
What's going on?
312
00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,290
The towels weren't
folded right
313
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,902
and the cans were all facing
the wrong direction.
314
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,294
I didn't want you to worry.
315
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:08,820
Well, that's real nice.
316
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,040
But, pal, you didn't have
to do it
317
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,520
in the middle of the night.
318
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:16,132
Yes, I do. You said
if Carol works too hard,
319
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,004
it could hurt the baby.
320
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,483
You guys go back to bed.
321
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,745
I'm pretty sure I can get
all this done
322
00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,269
before I have to go to school.
323
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,576
[CLICKS TONGUE]
324
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:28,014
Brendan, stop. Stop.
Brendan, come here. Come here.
325
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,888
Tell you what, pal.
I'll see you
in the morning, okay?
326
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:33,933
Okay.
327
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:39,199
Oh, Brendan, I am so sorry.
328
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,201
I know I'm really picky
about the way
329
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,551
I like things done
around here,
but I never meant for you
330
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:47,120
to be up in the middle
of the night
cleaning the house.
331
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,383
But you said everything
has to be done right.
332
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,951
Yeah. Well, I think
I went way too far.
333
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:54,301
I was being very compulsive.
334
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:55,432
What's compulsive?
335
00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:01,482
Well, compulsive
means, uh, nuts.
336
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,964
Oh, you mean like,
"Bend, bend, fold"?
337
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,752
Look, I know I want everything
neat and organized here.
338
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,363
But not if it's going
to drive everybody crazy,
339
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,452
and certainly not,
if you're going to lose sleep
340
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,977
worrying about whether
the canned goods are straight.
341
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,804
So I don't have to keep
working tonight?
342
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:22,198
No, no. As of right now,
343
00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:24,374
you are officially off
night shift.
344
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:28,900
Ooh.
345
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,077
I'm sorry. Did I hug you
too tight?
346
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,818
No, no, no.
347
00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:36,430
I just felt the baby kick.
348
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,519
That's the first time
that ever happened.
349
00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:40,129
Wow. Can I feel it?
350
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,696
Yeah, yeah.
Put your hand right here.
351
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:45,613
-It kicked. I felt it.
-Yeah. Yeah.
352
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,136
Does that mean
the baby's okay?
353
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:50,270
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Everything's really okay.
354
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,800
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
355
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:03,718
[PEOPLE LAUGHING AND TALKING]
356
00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:06,329
All right, you've studied,
you've practiced,
357
00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:09,245
you've quizzed.
How do you feel?
358
00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,335
Like I'm going to ralph
all over your shoes.
359
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,076
Man, you think
you can hold it?
360
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:16,513
Yeah, I think if you spew,
we lose points, you know.
361
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,777
Okay, we start in ten seconds!
362
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,518
All right. Don't you guys
worry about nothing.
363
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,303
You're going to be fine.
All right?
364
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,739
Just remember
the stuff that you learned,
365
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,828
okay? And all the hard work
you put in.
366
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,395
If you get stuck on an answer,
367
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:32,355
just say the year 1863, okay?
368
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,183
A lot of heavy stuff
happened that year.
369
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,840
Three seconds, two, one.
370
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,885
[ IT'S ACADEMIC
THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
371
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,765
Good evening.
I'm Edward Miller,
372
00:17:50,852 --> 00:17:53,811
welcoming you
To It's Academic.
373
00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:59,426
Please welcome back
our returning champions,
374
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,080
Hillside Country Day School.
375
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,518
And let's have a nice round
of applause
376
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,824
for our challengers,
Kennedy High School.
377
00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:08,739
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
378
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:16,269
Okay. Let's play
It's Academic.
379
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,141
The first question is,
380
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:21,535
what was the date
of the battle
of Fredericksburg?
381
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:22,797
-[BUZZER BUZZING]
-Hillside.
382
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,755
December 13, 1862.
383
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,017
-[BELL DINGING]
-Correct.
384
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:28,672
Next question.
385
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,457
Which two generals faced off
386
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:32,372
at the battle of Bull Run?
387
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:33,590
-[BUZZER BUZZING]
-Hillside.
388
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,026
-Mcdowell and Beauregard.
-Correct.
389
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,550
[BELL DINGING]
390
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,943
Man, those dudes
got fast hands.
391
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,511
Talk about fists of fury.
392
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,905
What was the first
African-American troop
393
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:46,342
from a free state to be called
into Federal service?
394
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:47,865
-[BUZZING]
-Kennedy.
395
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:51,478
Um, the 54th Massachusetts
Volunteers.
396
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:53,262
-Correct!
-[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
397
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:54,307
Yes! Yes!
398
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,312
All right.
We are on the board.
399
00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:06,275
What was the capital city
400
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,321
of the Confederate States
of America?
401
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,366
-Kennedy.
-Richmond, Virginia.
402
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:13,282
-Correct.
-Smoking.
403
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,850
[APPLAUDS]
404
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:19,419
Okay, now that sound signals
the end of regular play.
405
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:21,290
When we come back,
we'll ask the bonus question
406
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,074
which will determine
the winner.
407
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:26,730
Okay, we're in commercial.
408
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,082
All right! You guys are hot!
409
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,346
There is blood in the water.
410
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,130
I can smell it.
411
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:36,958
I love blood.
412
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:39,308
Dana's right.
413
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:42,093
A little grisly, but right.
414
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,183
I don't know.
I'm still not sure we can win.
415
00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:48,883
Not sure?
416
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:51,538
Did I hear you say
not sure?
417
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,410
-Well, it's...
-Well, nothing.
418
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:57,283
Are you going to let a bunch
of mealy-mouthed
419
00:19:57,370 --> 00:20:01,156
suburban sissies
beat you? Huh?
420
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,462
-I don't think so.
-Okay.
421
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,639
But nothing,
422
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,380
you've worked too hard
for this.
423
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,730
Now, I want you to quit
your whining,
424
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,514
suck it up,
425
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:14,125
and get out there
and kick some preppie butt.
426
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,522
Yeah. Dana's right.
427
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:22,525
Got to love that Dana, huh?
Puts on the game face.
428
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:29,706
Okay, we're back
in three, two, one.
429
00:20:29,793 --> 00:20:32,318
Welcome back To It's Academic.
430
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,626
Here's our final question
431
00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:38,454
which will determine
the winner.
432
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:42,110
This ironclad ship became
known as the CSS Virginia.
433
00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:43,503
What was its original name?
434
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:47,811
-[BUZZING]
-Kennedy, what's the answer?
435
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:50,553
I don't know. I just hit
that buzzer.
436
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,555
But we got
to say something, you idiot.
437
00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:55,428
-Ten seconds, Kennedy.
-Think. Oh, think.
438
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:58,692
It's gonna be either
the Monitor or the Merrimac.
439
00:20:58,779 --> 00:21:00,694
Well, Virginia
was a Federal State
440
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:03,479
and the Monitor was the Union,
so it must be the Merrimac.
441
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:05,438
I think so too.
442
00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:06,874
-All right. We say Merrimac.
-We say Merrimac.
443
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:09,355
Merrimac? Is correct!
That Kennedy!
444
00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:17,711
All right! We talked the talk
and we walked the walk.
445
00:21:17,798 --> 00:21:19,713
[CHEERING]
446
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,846
I told you, these kids
could do it, huh?
447
00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:25,501
I think it's time
for that hug now, huh?
448
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:27,416
Nah! Oh, what the heck.
449
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:28,722
Yeah. Come on.
450
00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:32,160
Do we make
a great team or what?
451
00:21:40,908 --> 00:21:42,257
Sorry. Things got
really backed up
452
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:43,954
with the beauty salon.
453
00:21:44,041 --> 00:21:46,000
Thought I'd just, you know,
defrost some ground meat,
454
00:21:46,087 --> 00:21:48,089
whip up the sauce,
I'll have dinner ready
in no time at all.
455
00:21:48,176 --> 00:21:50,091
Carol, honey. Carol.
456
00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:51,962
I thought you weren't going
to do this any more.
457
00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:57,011
You're right.
458
00:21:57,098 --> 00:21:59,405
Think I'll just order in
a pizza.
459
00:21:59,492 --> 00:22:00,971
Atta girl. I'm starving.
460
00:22:04,671 --> 00:22:07,282
See, I do not need
to be compulsive.
461
00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:09,458
Hello, Gino. Hi.
Carol Lambert here.
462
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,373
Buona sera.
463
00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:15,203
Gino, I want
three large pizzas, okay?
464
00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:17,466
On the first one, I want
a whole wheat crust,
465
00:22:17,553 --> 00:22:19,860
I want low-fat mozzarella
and a low-sodium sauce.
466
00:22:19,947 --> 00:22:21,905
All right? And I want
the olives sliced, not diced.
467
00:22:21,992 --> 00:22:24,299
Okay? And I want
the ham cubed, not chopped,
468
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:26,475
and the anchovies filleted,
never minced... ugh!
469
00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:28,172
No. On the second one,
470
00:22:28,259 --> 00:22:29,565
I think you should get
some paper and a pencil
471
00:22:29,652 --> 00:22:31,959
because it's kind
of complicated. I want...
472
00:22:32,046 --> 00:22:34,222
Hey, Gino. Yeah, hey.
It's Frank Lambert here.
473
00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:36,442
Just give us three
number sevens, okay?
474
00:22:36,529 --> 00:22:37,791
Yeah. Thanks. Bye.
475
00:22:39,488 --> 00:22:41,838
Good order, better order.
34211
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