All language subtitles for Step.By.Step.S02E11.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Hey, Dana.

Hi, Cody.

[chuckles]
You know, I just had
a really interesting thought.

What was it?

What was what?

You just said you had
a really interesting thought.

Whoa, I did?

[chuckles]
I wonder what it was.

Cody, you sleep in your van,
right?

Yeah.

Ever check for an exhaust leak?

You know you're like the third
person to ask me that this week?

[scoffs]
Weird. Man.

Oh, there's that thought again.
No, got away.

[sighs]
You know,
I gotta start wearin' a hat.

[theme song]

[all screaming]

♪ The dream got broken
seemed like all was lost ♪

♪ What would be the future?
Could you pay the cost? ♪

♪ You wonder will there ever be
a second time around ♪

♪ Whoa when the tears are over
and the moment has come ♪

♪ Say my Lord
I think I found someone ♪

♪ You know it will be better ♪

♪ 'Cause you're putting it
together ♪

♪ For the second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over
a different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall
the stronger we stay ♪

♪ And we'll be better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪

♪ Step by step day by day ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[sighs]
Frank, I just returned
from Dave's video store

and we have to talk
about something.

Dave is lyin', honey.

I swear I never even go back
into that section.

That's not what I wanna
talk about right now.

I just returned the videos
the kids rented this week

and you know what the bill was?
$84.

- Eighty four dollars?
- Yeah.

They rented eight videos,
most of which they never watched

and I had to buy this one
because it was lost

under Brendan's bed
for two months.

"Ninja Turtles,
Secret Of The Ooze."

Oh, man, I wanted to see that.

Frank, the kids
have got to cut this out.

We are in a recession.

Nobody can afford
to waste money like this.

Y-you're right, Carol,
and tonight at dinner

I'll lay down the law.
Two videos per weekend, period.

Yeah, but it's not
just about videos.

It's their whole attitude
about spending money, you know.

It's like our kids think
that you just charge things

and then nobody has to pay
for them.

Carol, that is what they think.

Yeah, well,
I'm gonna call a family meeting.

Well, honey, um, now I know

that you like having
these little family meetings

but I have a slightly
different point of view.

- Yeah. What's that?
- I hate them.

Well, Frank, we can't just
arbitrarily tell the kids

what luxuries
they have to give up.

Why not? We're the parents.

We sit 'em down at the table.

We say two videos per weekend,
period.

Pass the rolls and shut up.

Oh, Frank, a family should be
a democracy, not a dictatorship.

And children are people too.
We don't have to browbeat them.

You know, if you give children
the opportunity

to participate
in the problem-solving process

they'll correct the mistakes
all by themselves.

That's a great theory, honey.

Did you come up with that before
or after you spotted Elvis?

No, no, not a family meeting!

- Come on!
- Anything but a family meeting!

Come on, sit down.
It's not gonna kill ya.

May I ask
what this meeting's about?

Well, we should wait
till your mother gets here

but basically,
it's because you kids

are spending too much money.

Then what do we need
a meeting for?

You're the dad.
Just tell us what to do.

Well, that would be
one approach.

[sighs]
But, Al, a family is a democracy

and so we're going to have
a nice open discussion.

Carol's makin' you do this,
isn't she?

Yes, she is.

Oh, good, everybody's here.

Okay, we all ready
to have some fun?

I thought we were gonna
have a family meeting.

Well, we are. That's why
we're gonna have so much fun.

We're going to talk
and share our feelings

and work together to find

a creative solution
to our problems.

Mom, is there any chance
we could speed this up?

I didn't bring a change
of clothes for this meeting.

Okay. Okay.

Now as we all know,
we are in a recession..

[chuckles]
...and I think that we have all

been a little reckless
with our spending.

Therefore, I think we all have
to think about what luxuries

we would be willing to give up.

Wait a minute, mom. Are you
gonna take stuff away from us?

No, no, no. I am not
gonna take away anything.

You are each going
to choose something

that you would be willing
to do without.

Now I have prepared
a list of choices here.

- Uh, "movies?"
- No.

- "Videos?"
- No.

- "Party clothes?"
- No.

"Fast food, CDs, comic books,
candy bars, video games?"

- No.
- No.

- No.
- And no.

Carol, your democracy is dying.

No, the kids
just don't understand

how wasteful they've been.

Now do you realize
that we just spent $84

to rent eight videos
and buy one that Brendan lost?

Oh, I get it.
This is all Brendan's fault.

All in favor of getting rid
of Brendan, say aye.

[all]
Aye.

- Hey!
- 'Now hold on.'

This is not just about Brendan.

It's about all of you.
Now come on, you guys.

You must be willing to give up
some luxuries, huh?

- Nope.
- No.

- No.
- No.

You know,
I don't believe you people.

I am coming to you looking
for help with a family problem

and what do I get? Nothing.

Okay, okay, alright.

If that's what you want,
you get nothing, alright?

No movies, no allowance,
no shopping, no nothing.

We are going back to basics.

That means food and shelter,
period.

Any questions?
I didn't think so.

Meeting adjourned.
Now get out of my sight.

That was a great
little meeting, honey.

Mussolini couldn't have
done it any better.

Well, according to this article

people are so stressed out
during a recession

that sexual activity drops
all over the country.

Well, let's see if I can get
this economy moving.

[knocks]

Don't answer.

[moans]

- Can I come in?
- Ah!

Honey, uh, you're supposed
to ask that question

from the other side of the door.

I know.

But lots of times I knock
and you don't answer.

Wha-what can we do for you, pal?

Is this money thing
all my fault?

Oh, why would you think that?

'Cause I lost a video
under my bed.

Well, Brendan,
it's not just your fault

it's the whole family's problem.

We all have to watch
what we spend.

Are you sure, daddy?

I'm sure. Now come here
and give me a big hug.

Alright, now why don't
you get on back to bed?

You're gonna feel a lot better
and I know I will.

Okay, goodnight, daddy.
Goodnight, Carol.

Goodnight, honey.

Okey-dokey, where were we?

Well, I think you were
stimulating the economy.

[laughs]

Ah, right.

[knock on door]

[Dana]
'It's Dana. Can I come in?'

- Yes!
- No.

Uh, come on in, Dana.

Hi, Frank.

- Am I interrupting anything?
- Yes.

Good.

I just wanted to say
what a great lesson

in fiscal responsibility
you're teaching the kids.

And I think it was a stroke
of genius to include me

in the discussion
for appearance sake.

But now that
it's just us three adults

can I have my allowance?

Well, you know, Dana,
you are right.

You are an adult
and as we all know

adults don't get an allowance.

Boy, I'm counting the days till
I can move out of this hellhole.

[clicks tongue]
That makes two of us.

And now we rejoin the program
already in progress.

[knock on door]
What?

Uh, I just wanted
to say goodnight.

- Oh, goodnight, Mark.
- Yeah, goodnight.

Goodnight, sleep tight.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.

Now, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Alright, everybody,
listen up now.

Carol and I are going to bed.

We're two very old people
and we need our sleep

and so don't come knocking,
'cause we'll be sleeping.

[J.T.]
'Yeah, right.'

I can't stand this.
There's a Truffaut film festival

downtown tonight
and I'm gonna miss it

because of mom's
stupid back-to-basics thing.

Tell me about it. I have to make
my winter nail polish colors

by mixing late fall
with early spring.

You're a real survivor, Karen.

Whoa! The Dane-meister
and the Kare-bear.

Yeah. How's it goin'?

Well, we're broke,
bored and miserable.

But other than that, we're fine.

Whoa, major dichotomy.

Hey, Dana,
how'd you like to join me

for a burger
and a flick this evening?

I mean, uh, I mean, I know we're
never gonna have a relationship

but surely, it wouldn't be
unpleasant to join the Codeman

for a movie this evening.

Nothing personal, Cody

but I'd rather shave my legs
with a wood planer.

Hey, to each his own.

Looks like I'll be checking out
that Truffaut festival solo.

[chuckles]

Wait a second.

- You like Truffaut?
- Sure.

Well, his early works
might be a bit prosaic

but once he matured as an artist

and mastered
the technique of montage

his films became
totally bitchin'.

[laughs]
Well, au revoir,dudettes.

Wow, I am so desperate
for entertainment

I almost went to a movie
with Cody.

Can you believe that?

Does this need more spring?

I hate these severe cutbacks.

Without an allowance, how am I
supposed to pay off the big kids

so they won't beat up on me?

Alright, alright,
clear the deck.

The Bulls and Pistons
are on ESPN.

Sorry, but you guys
can't watch the game.

Yeah, right, barky.
Go bury your bone.

Hey, there is something wrong
with the TV.

That's what I was trying
to tell you.

Mom shut off the cable.

No cable? That's barbaric.

What does your mom
want us to do?

Watch five channels
like they did in World War II?

Hey, it's not her fault
we have to cut back.

We might actually have
some money if you Lamberts

would quit sucking down
the Ding Dongs.

That is not the problem,
the problem is you nerds

spend a billion dollars a week
on geek supplies

like pocket protectors
and lip gloss.

At least we don't lose videos
like Bob's Big Boy over there.

Hey, it's not my fault.
Carol and daddy said so.

They just said that
to make you feel better.

Yeah, it's all the shrimp's
fault for losing that video.

Yeah, what a bonehead move.

Hey, you can't call my brother
a bonehead.

[Dana scoffs]
'Why not? We're all suffering
'cause of him.'

[J.T.]
'Okay,
so he screwed up big time.'

'He's a jerk, he's a moron.'

'That's no reason
to call him a bonehead.'

[Dana]
'Fine, call him
whatever you want.'

'The bottom line is
he ruined our lives.'

Brendan! Brendan!

Hey, Uncle Frank.

Oh, Cody, listen,
it's almost dinnertime.

I've been looking all over
for Brendan. Have you seen him?

No, I'm sorry. I was at my
assertiveness training class.

- Oh, how's that goin'?
- None of your business, pal.

Sorry. Did I hurt your feelings,
Uncle Frank?

No, no, that's okay.

Uh, dinner's in five minutes
if you wanna join us.

Yeah, well, maybe I will
and maybe I won't.

[chuckles]
Too tough?

Cody, let me ask you something.

Why exactly did you take
this assertiveness class?

Well, I wanted to sign up
for this class

called Improving Your Memory

but I forgot
to register on time.

So you took assertiveness
training instead?

Yeah. Tell you the truth,
Uncle Frank

I'm not too crazy about it.
The teacher's kind of bossy.

Whoa. Hey, little cuz.

Uncle Frank
was just looking for you.

Well, don't tell him I'm here.

- What are you doing?
- Borrowin' your backpack.

What for?

Well, I'm costing the family
too much money

so I'm running away.

[scoffs]
Sounds like
a pretty drastic move

for a guy who still sleeps
with a nightlight.

Listen, you can't run away.
I'll miss you.

And Uncle Frank and Carol
love you.

They'll really miss you too.

It doesn't matter.
I cost too much money.

I gotta go away someplace.

Yeah. Where?

I don't know. Someplace cheap.

I don't think running away
is a very good idea.

I have to.
And you can't tell anybody.

Alright, bro, but why don't you
let me scam you some dinner?

That way, you ain't gotta hit
the road on an empty stomach.

Fine, but you gotta swear not to
say a word about what I'm doing.

Alright, okay.

- Not a word. I swear.
- Cross your heart?

Cross my heart and hope to die.

Stick a needle in my eye,
take a scalpel

and cut out my spleen if
I don't say what I really mean.

Ew!

I trust you, Codeman.

Carol, I've checked
with all the neighbors

and nobody has seen Brendan.

Well, I'm starting
to get worried.

- Hey, Uncle Frank.
- Hey.

Carol.

I have something important
to, uh, not say to you.

Okay.

Well, I'd rather
not say it to you in private.

Well, Cody, anything
you have to not say to us

you could not say
in front of everybody.

Yeah, I know. It's, I'm sorry.

I'd, I'd just be
more comfortable

not saying this to you
in the living room.

Carol, let's go
in the living room

and not talk to Cody.

I-it's Cody. Just go with it.

Alright, Cody. Are you gonna
tell us what's goin' on?

Well, I'd really like to,
Uncle Frank

but I promised someone
that I wouldn't say a word.

Whoa, existential crisis,
Yin and Yang, tug of war.

[gasps]

I know, there's always
the ancient art of pantomime.

Okay.

[Carol]
'Cody.'

We don't have time for games.
Brendan is missing.

Oh! Ooh, ah, whoa.

Uh, uh, Cody,
you're very good at this

but we can't do it because
we're looking for Brendan.

[grunts]

Okay, Cody, alright, we can
play charades on Saturday night.

But come on, Frank, let's just
drive around the neighborhood--

Yeah, okay, come on, honey.

You guys are totally lame!

Do you think I'm doing this
pantomime thing for my health?

No way. I'm sworn to secrecy.

That's why I can't tell you
that Brendan's hiding in my van

because he wants to run away
from home.

I took an oath. God!

Jeez.

Oh, I see, that's why
you can't say a word to us.

Yeah.

Yeah, but, uh, listen, Cody, um

uh, uh, try that, uh,
pantomime thing again.

Good idea, Uncle Frank, yeah.

Okay.

Brendan is hiding in your van

because he's running away
from home.

Exactly.

[blows raspberry]
Oh.

Now once they get rollin',
they're pretty good.

[softly]
Frank.

Frank, you can't just
go in there

like you know where Brendan is.

Why not?
I know where Brendan is.

Yeah, but then Brendan will
think that Cody betrayed him.

Well, what do you want me
to do, honey?

Lob in tear gas
and smoke him out?

I have an idea.

[loudly]
Gee, I wonder where Brendan is!

'I made his favorite dinner.
Spaghetti and meatballs.'

Oh, yeah,
and we have a big bowl of it.

I-I'll tell you what, Carol

let's leave some
by the backdoor.

Maybe he'll smell it
and come home.

Oh, good idea, Frank,
we'll just leave it out here

while you and I
go inside the house.

Yeah, here we go.

Oops, I'm busted.

It's okay, pal,
you're not in trouble.

But I do wanna talk to you,
so come here.

- Did Cody tell?
- No, Cody did not say a word.

Good, I'd hate to see him
walkin' around without a spleen.

Brendan, why were you
hiding in there?

- I was running away from home.
- Why?

'Cause we don't have any money

and it's all my fault
for losing that video.

Listen, champ,
I-I think we scared you here

and we didn't mean to.

Carol and daddy were just
trying to teach the family

a-a lesson about
the value of money.

Although
daddy had a way of doing it

that was a whole lot simpler.

Well, your dad's right.
I-I guess I just went

a little overboard
with this family meeting stuff

but I just feel terrible
that I would have done something

that would make you
wanna run away from home.

Are you sure
I don't cost too much money?

I could cut back
on the Ding Dongs.

There's no amount of money
that's worth as much as you are.

You're a very important part
of this family, pal.

Whether we have one dollar
or-or a million dollars

we love you very much.

- No matter what?
- No matter what.

Don't throw crumbs at me
or I'll throw crumbs at you.

Like I care.

Okay, before we start dinner

um, I would like to have
a little family meeting.

Another one?

What now?
We can only eat every other day?

No, no, no, no, no.

What-what I wanna say
is this, um

back-to-basics thing is over.

[cheering]

But, but we do have to be
careful about our spending.

So, uh, with that in mind

I'd like to start
a family dialogue

where as a group,
we can arrive at a consensus--

Uh, Carol, Carol,
may-may I say something?

- Oh, sure, Frank.
- Oh, okay.

[clears throat]
Here's your consensus.

Alright, from now on,
two videos per weekend, period.

Pass the rolls and shut up.

[whirring]

There, ha-ha,
that ought to do it.

Let's see the little weasels
get past this, huh?

- Good evening.
- Ah!

Mark, what are you
doing in here?

Just using your shower.
The other bathroom was ocupado.

Well, I'll be leaving you now.

I know you two
wanna get some sleep.

Oh, good, the shower's free.

Hi, guys.