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1
00:00:00,696 --> 00:00:03,046
[theme music]
2
00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:05,962
Uh, Dana?
3
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:07,790
Can-can you give me a hand?
4
00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:10,532
I've got something stuck
all over this non-stick surface
5
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:13,404
uh, and I don't know
what to clean it with.
6
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,580
I'll go out on a limb here
and say soap.
7
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,193
I've got the soap part.
8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,239
I just don't know
whether to use the softy spongy
9
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:23,632
or the scrubby scruffy.
10
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,853
You men are so hopeless.
11
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:30,639
To clean a non-stick surface
12
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:33,598
all you do
is take a soft sponge
13
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:36,297
and a little bit of soap,
swish it around
14
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:39,300
rinse with fresh water,
and you're done.
15
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,432
What could be easier than that?
16
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,913
I don't know. Maybe
getting you to do it for me.
17
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,132
[chuckles]
18
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,746
Good morning.
19
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:54,619
Well, you two are at it early.
20
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:55,664
You don't usually break out
21
00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:56,708
the blunt objects
22
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:57,970
till after lunch.
23
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:02,062
Hey, you guys. Check this out.
24
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,064
It's totally awesome. Ha-ha.
25
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,196
J.T.'s getting
his own cable TV show.
26
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,024
Just like "Wayne's World."
27
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,286
Yeah?
What are you gonna call it?
28
00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:11,680
"Lifestyles
Of The Dim And Witless?"
29
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,075
Very funny, barky.
30
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,078
I'm gonna call it
"J.T.'s World."
31
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,427
They're letting me do
three shows
32
00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:20,732
and if they like it,
I get to do more.
33
00:01:20,819 --> 00:01:21,777
Wait a minute, J.T.
34
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How does a kid your age
35
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,301
get a show on television?
36
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:25,955
Easy, it's public access.
37
00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:28,392
Any jerk who wants a show
can get one.
38
00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,220
Well, I guess you're qualified.
39
00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:34,746
Uh, J.T.,
let's cut to the chase here
40
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,748
and you tell me
how much it's gonna cost me.
41
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:39,534
Nothing, dad. I've already
saved up money for the fee.
42
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:41,840
All you have to do
is let us use your living room
43
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:43,755
loan us your video camera
and sign a waiver
44
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:45,757
taking complete
legal responsibility
45
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:48,499
for everything that happens.
46
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:51,372
- Do I get a credit on the show?
- For what?
47
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,289
Oh, this is gonna be great,
Uncle Frank.
48
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:58,161
J.T. is gonna let me be
his excellent sidekick. Ha-ha.
49
00:01:58,248 --> 00:02:00,294
Yeah, we're gonna be
an inseparable team
50
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:01,338
like Wayne and Garth.
51
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,774
[laughing]
52
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:03,949
We're gonna
put our heads together
53
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,995
and think with one mind.
54
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,869
Or pretty darn close.
55
00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,958
- 'Yeah.'
- Totally. Yeah.
56
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:17,789
[theme song]
57
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:30,672
[all screaming]
58
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,329
♪ The dream got broken ♪
59
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,374
♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪
60
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,159
♪ What would be the future? ♪
61
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,812
♪ Could you pay the cost? ♪
62
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:41,900
♪ You wonder ♪
63
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,554
♪ Will there ever be ♪
64
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,730
♪ A second time around? ♪
65
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:48,603
♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪
66
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,300
♪ When the tears are over ♪
67
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:52,824
♪ And the moment has come ♪
68
00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:56,524
♪ Say my Lord
I think I found someone ♪
69
00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,352
♪ You know it will be better ♪
70
00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,875
♪ 'Cause
you're puttin' it together ♪
71
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:03,008
♪ For the second time around ♪
72
00:03:08,927 --> 00:03:10,842
♪ Step by step ♪
73
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,844
♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪
74
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,542
♪ A fresh start over ♪
75
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:16,370
♪ A different hand to play ♪
76
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:18,372
♪ The deeper we fall ♪
77
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,635
♪ The stronger we stay ♪
78
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,550
♪ And we'll be better ♪
79
00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,160
♪ The second time around ♪
80
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,901
♪ Step by step ♪
81
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:28,251
♪ Day by day ♪
82
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:30,253
♪ We'll make it better ♪
83
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:33,038
♪ The second time around ♪♪
84
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,139
[instrumental music]
85
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,187
[J.T.]
Ah. Now listen, guys.
86
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,189
I'm the star of this TV show
87
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,712
and you're the crew.
88
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,105
So the proper way to address me
89
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:58,760
on the set is Mr..
90
00:03:58,847 --> 00:03:59,761
- Dipstick?
- Pinhead?
91
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,023
Loser?
92
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,811
You know,
let's just stick with J.T.
93
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,467
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Karen.
94
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,904
- This is my friend, Lisa.
- Hi.
95
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,993
She's the most popular girl
in our class.
96
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,082
- No, I'm not. You are.
- I know.
97
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:18,823
[chuckles]
98
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,651
But you're a guest,
so I have to be nice.
99
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:21,783
[chuckles]
100
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,180
You'll have to excuse J.T.
101
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,792
He can't pour juice and drool
at the same time.
102
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:36,232
Wow. I think I just met
the girl of my dreams.
103
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,321
Are you gonna
make a move on her, J.T.?
104
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,280
She's a fox. Whoo!
105
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,285
Since when
did your hormones kick in?
106
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,637
Yeah, I thought
you were afraid of girls.
107
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:52,596
Oh, I am.
Girls scare me to death.
108
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,556
But I like hearing about 'em.
109
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,601
But with any luck, big guy,
I'll have pictures.
110
00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:58,820
[chuckles]
111
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:03,259
♪ Wild cats wild cats
it's your show ♪
112
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,914
♪ Take that ball and go go go ♪♪
113
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,176
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
114
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,613
- Oh, wow, that was great!
- Oh.
115
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,920
Good job.
So when's the big game?
116
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:14,226
- Friday.
- Oh, Friday. That's good.
117
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,359
I'm sure
that zit will clear up by then.
118
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,318
Zit? I have a zit?
119
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,189
Oh. Well, excuse me, Lisa.
120
00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,712
Emergency face care.
121
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,325
Take your time.
122
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:34,769
- So you're a cheerleader?
- Yup.
123
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,119
Boy, I wish I had time
for something like that.
124
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,687
But I'm just so busy
with school and homework
125
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,951
and starring in my own TV show.
126
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:45,562
You have your own TV show?
127
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:48,086
- Did I mention that?
- Ah..
128
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,175
Yeah, it's just
a little public access show
129
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,655
called "J.T.'s World."
130
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:54,223
- I'm J.T.
- Wow, that is so cool.
131
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,878
I would give anything
to be on TV.
132
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,183
Oh, really?
133
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:02,666
Sit down, let's talk TV.
134
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:04,102
[laughs]
135
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:07,105
[instrumental music]
136
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,067
[whirring]
137
00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:14,374
[chuckles]
God, I love power tools.
138
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,162
- Hey, Frank.
- Huh?
139
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,512
How'd you like to take
a compatibility test?
140
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,514
Love to, nothing I like better
141
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,951
than the old compatibility test.
142
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,866
Not that kind of test.
143
00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,825
It's a series of questions
that helps us find out
144
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,522
if we're right for each other.
145
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:33,828
Carol, we're already married.
146
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,046
What difference does it make
if we're right
147
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,961
for each other?
148
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,702
Come on, Frank.
149
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,269
It'll be fun, okay?
150
00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:41,705
- Okay. Ahem.
- Alright.
151
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,533
Question number one.
152
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,753
"If you were stranded
on a desert island
153
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,494
"with a beautiful woman
154
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,018
"and there was no chance
that you would ever be rescued
155
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:52,934
"and you knew
you would never see me again
156
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:56,111
how long would it take
before you got romantic?"
157
00:06:57,721 --> 00:07:00,202
Carol, I have a very bad feeling
about this.
158
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:05,207
Come on, Frank, it's just
a silly little question.
159
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:06,861
If it'll make you feel any
better, I'll take the test, too.
160
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,340
Okay? We'll both write down
our answers.
161
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,646
- And we'll trade them. Okay?
- No, honey.
162
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:12,954
- Not a chance. No.
- Frank.
163
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:16,305
The sooner we get started
on my compatibility test
164
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:18,786
the sooner we get started
with yours.
165
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,265
Mwah, mwah.
166
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:23,791
Oh, what was that question then?
What? What?
167
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,402
Okay.
168
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,012
- Here's yours.
- Ahem.
169
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,666
- Mine.
- Hm.
170
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,973
Okay.
171
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,628
Alright, "If you were stranded
on a desert island
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00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:36,847
with a beautiful woman,
how long--"
173
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:39,633
How long would it take
until I got romantic?
174
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,331
And there's no chance
of being rescued?
175
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:45,247
No. No. You will
never ever see me again.
176
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,076
- Okay.
- Okay.
177
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:56,432
[giggles]
178
00:07:58,390 --> 00:07:59,348
Read mine first.
179
00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:00,871
[chuckles]
180
00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,222
Okay, you would wait..
181
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,399
..."Forever."
182
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,842
What a coincidence!
I said, "Forever," too.
183
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,278
No.
184
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:18,280
No, I wanna read it.
185
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,761
[giggling]
186
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,067
"Six months?"
187
00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:26,027
At a time, forever.
188
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:27,202
Six months?
189
00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:28,203
But, honey, you said
190
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:29,421
I'd never see you again.
191
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,640
Well, there's always hope.
192
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,903
Oh, jeez!
193
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,905
I knew this was gonna happen.
194
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:37,342
[sighs]
Frank Lambert
195
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,562
the fact that I said, "Forever"
196
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,521
and you said, "Six months,"
leads me to believe
197
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,261
that I love you
more than you love me.
198
00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:44,611
Now, wait a minute, Carol.
199
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:45,655
You are getting upset
200
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:47,178
because I might get romantic
201
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,571
with a woman who doesn't exist?
202
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:51,182
Oh, so you admit it.
203
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,402
- Admit what?
- Oh.
204
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,970
If you don't know, I am
certainly not gonna tell you.
205
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:04,065
I suppose this means
my test is out of the question.
206
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:07,024
[instrumental music]
207
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:11,376
[J.T.]
'Look alive, crew,
we tape in five minutes.'
208
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:12,421
[doorbell ringing]
209
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:13,814
I'll get it. Could be good news.
210
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:14,989
[chuckles]
211
00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,037
- Hi, J.T.
- Whoa.
212
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,909
[laughs]
I was right.
213
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:25,695
Well, hello, Lisa.
214
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,044
Hey.
215
00:09:27,131 --> 00:09:29,786
Whoa, cool set.
216
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,180
Ha-ha, looks just like
the living room.
217
00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,443
[laughs]
218
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:36,967
- Who's that?
- Oh, that's the Codeman.
219
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:39,187
My excellent sidekick and cuz.
220
00:09:39,274 --> 00:09:41,102
- Places, everyone.
- Well, excuse me, Lisa.
221
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,538
It's magic time.
222
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,236
And in five, four
223
00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,108
three, two..
224
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,763
[both]
"J.T.'s World!"
Party time! Excellent!
225
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:52,722
[guitar music]
226
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,249
Alright, okay.
227
00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:00,251
Welcome to the premiere
of "J.T.'s World"
228
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,950
coming to you, as always,
from Port Washington, Wisconsin.
229
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,953
- The cheese state.
- Ah.
230
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,042
I'm J.T. Lambert,
your excellent host
231
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,261
and with me
is my bodacious sidekick, Cody.
232
00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,568
- Party on, Codeman.
- Party on, J.T.
233
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:14,091
[laughing]
234
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:16,746
Alright, okay,
today we're gonna be giving you
235
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,748
our top five tips
for attracting babes
236
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,794
and we know how to do that
'cause we're..
237
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,186
[both]
Babe magnets!
238
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,274
Oh!
239
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:26,277
[guitar music]
240
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:34,068
Dude, J.T., I think it's time
for our salute to babes
241
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,810
with my personal choice
for Babe of the Month
242
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,073
The Dana Burger!
243
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,683
[laughs]
Yeah.
244
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:43,599
- No way.
- Way.
245
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,645
Dude, if she were
a prehistoric animal
246
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,559
she'd be a baber-toothed tiger.
247
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,604
[laughs]
248
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:50,040
[snarling]
249
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:51,738
[guitar music]
250
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,304
I'm gonna hurl.
251
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,872
Ugh, you and me, both.
252
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,092
Ah, babe with a 'tude.
253
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,268
[laughs]
Gotta love that. Yeah.
254
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:03,271
[guitar music]
255
00:11:04,925 --> 00:11:06,491
Alright, okay. Ha-ha.
256
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:09,059
Our first guest
is a certified B babe-alua.
257
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,582
Lisa Morgan!
258
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,497
- Lisa! Monster babe!
- Lisa! Monster babe!
259
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,586
- Certified! Excellent!
- Certified! Excellent! Yeah.
260
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,458
[guitar music]
261
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,504
- Hi, J.T. Hi, Cody.
- Heh-heh.
262
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:21,245
Oh! Hey, well, Lisa's here.
263
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,900
That means it's the start
of a three-day holiday.
264
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:26,250
- Baber-day weekend.
- Baber-day weekend. Oh!
265
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,210
[guitar music]
266
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:43,093
Hey, and for my last piece
of rockabilia..
267
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:46,488
...here's some gum that Axl Rose
spit at somebody in Chicago.
268
00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:49,883
[chuckles]
Can you believe it? The chick
didn't even wanna keep it.
269
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,058
She just pulls it
out of her hair
270
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,755
and throws it away. Yeah.
271
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:53,800
[both]
Lame!
272
00:11:53,887 --> 00:11:55,540
[laughing]
273
00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,107
Well, party animals,
we're out of time.
274
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,500
So until next time..
275
00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:00,328
[all]
Party on! "J.T.'s World!"
276
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:02,634
[all]
Excellent! Party time!
277
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,637
[guitar music]
278
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,512
- And we're out!
- 'Yeah!'
279
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:11,600
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
280
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,428
Good job, dudes. Yeah.
281
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:15,952
Lisa, step in to my office
for a second.
282
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,565
- You were fantastic.
- J.T.
283
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:23,438
Something magical
happened to me out there.
284
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,005
I fell in love.
285
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,835
Why, Lisa, this is so sudden.
286
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:32,186
I know, but...look at him.
287
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:36,059
[sighs]
Isn't Cody wonderful?
288
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,634
[instrumental music]
289
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:50,030
Well, thanks for letting me
be on your show, J.T.
290
00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,641
And thanks
for introducing me to Cody.
291
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,817
Sure. No-no problem.
292
00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:56,819
See you, J.T.
293
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,690
Party on, Codeman.
294
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,910
Uh, party on, Lise.
295
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,216
[chuckles]
296
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,004
[sighs]
Hey, crew, great show.
297
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,745
Here's a couple of bucks.
Go get some ice cream.
298
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:11,791
- Alright, thanks, J.T.
- Alright, let's go.
299
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,707
Hey, J.T., bro. Ha-ha.
300
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,709
Killer idea for the next show.
301
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:20,408
The '80s.
302
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,279
Where are they now?
303
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,628
[laughs]
304
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:28,416
That's a great idea. I mean,
I like everything about it.
305
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:29,896
Except one thing.
306
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,419
You.
307
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,421
Sorry, Codeman, you're fired.
308
00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,032
Not!
309
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,165
[laughs]
310
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,340
Not not.
311
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,299
"Not not?"
312
00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:44,214
You mean, I'm not not fired?
313
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:45,476
[chuckles]
Or you mean
314
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:48,915
I'm not, not, not fired?
315
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,701
I mean you're off the show. Um..
316
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,224
It's nothing personal,
Codeman, uh..
317
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,836
There just wasn't any chemistry.
318
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,664
[scoffs]
Showbiz.
319
00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:01,275
The cruel mistress.
320
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:03,930
One minute you're hired.
321
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,366
[snaps fingers]
And the next minute
322
00:14:05,453 --> 00:14:07,194
you're yesterday's tuna.
323
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,763
[instrumental music]
324
00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:19,554
[guitar music]
325
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,515
♪ I got the blues ♪
326
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:27,214
♪ I got the blues ♪
327
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:30,478
♪ I got the just-got-fired-
off-my-cable-access-TV-show ♪
328
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:33,394
♪ By-my-cousin-
who's-my-best-friend blues.. ♪
329
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,353
[music continues]
330
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:41,402
Carol, just look at 'em.
331
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,404
Frank, I don't want any flowers.
332
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,797
Now, Carol, I gave you candy,
a bunch of flowers.
333
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,495
What do you want me to do,
take you on a cruise?
334
00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:49,671
Oh, a cruise.
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
335
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,325
Then you could get shipwrecked
and get together
336
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,804
with little Ms. Hukilau.
337
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,763
Oh, come on now.
338
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:56,460
How long are you gonna
hold this desert-island thing
339
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:57,461
against me anyway?
340
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,289
Only six months
341
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,551
at a time.
342
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,031
Forever.
343
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:07,776
[guitar music]
344
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:17,438
♪ I say I got the blues ♪
345
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,657
♪ I got
the just-lost-my-best-friend ♪
346
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:23,139
♪ 'Cause-he-said-I-stink-
on-his-cable-TV-show blues ♪
347
00:15:23,226 --> 00:15:25,576
[music continues]
348
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:26,664
Cody.
349
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,323
Cody, what's the matter?
350
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,543
♪ I got the blues ♪♪
351
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:38,198
I know. That much I got.
But why?
352
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,158
Well, J.T. fired me
off his show.
353
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,812
[scoffs]
354
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:46,858
He said
we didn't have any chemistry.
355
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,599
But I think he was just trying
356
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:51,646
to spare my feelings, you know?
357
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,735
He didn't wanna tell me
the awful truth.
358
00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:57,086
[laughs]
I just suck potatoes.
359
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,522
[sighs]
360
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,829
Are you sure
that's why he fired you?
361
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:02,396
It's all I can figure.
362
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:05,616
I mean, Lisa and I had
a ton of chemistry on the show.
363
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,836
Uh, uh, Lisa?
364
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:09,490
You know, heh
365
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:13,320
that fox
J.T.'s got the love jones for.
366
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,756
Oh. Yeah, Cody..
367
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,279
When you and Lisa
368
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,107
were having
this ton of chemistry
369
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,935
was J.T. around?
370
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,981
I guess not..
371
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:24,157
Otherwise, he'd have kept me
on the show. Yeah.
372
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,289
Uh-huh. Excuse me.
373
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:29,162
But I'm gonna go have a little
talk with the king of cable.
374
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,816
[laughs]
Yeah. Hey!
375
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,818
You know Larry King?
376
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:38,736
Yes.
377
00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:46,396
J.T., Cody just told me
378
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:49,486
that you fired him
from the show.
379
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:53,186
Things just didn't work out.
There wasn't any magic.
380
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:55,666
Ah. No magic. I see.
381
00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,320
Well, I thought for a minute
382
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,279
you were just stabbing
your best friend in the back
383
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:00,932
to get a girl.
384
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,456
Dad, you don't understand.
385
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:03,892
Oh, I understand perfectly.
386
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:06,068
I was a 16-year-old boy
myself once.
387
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:08,201
And the thing about
16-year-old boys is
388
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,638
most of their thinking doesn't
take place in their head.
389
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:15,338
- Hey, that's below the belt.
- Bingo.
390
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:20,256
So what are you gonna do?
Make me hire him back?
391
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,345
I'm not gonna
make you do anything.
392
00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:24,478
I just want you
to use your head.
393
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:27,089
It's that casaba melon thing
on your shoulders.
394
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,660
[exhales sharply]
395
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:35,619
[instrumental music]
396
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:41,147
Okay. Alright.
Is everything set up?
397
00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:42,887
Sure,
but you're still gonna bomb.
398
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:44,585
This show's a two-man job.
399
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:47,196
Without Cody, I'd say
you're a man-and-a-half short.
400
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:52,288
Oh, yeah? Well,
I'll just get another sidekick.
401
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:54,769
- 'Mark!'
- 'Huh?'
402
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:56,771
You're my new sidekick.
403
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,468
- Oh, really?
- Yup.
404
00:17:58,555 --> 00:17:59,904
All you have to do
is sit on the couch.
405
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:02,907
And when I point to you,
say, "Party on." Got it?
406
00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:05,562
Actually, J.T.,
I find the phrase, "Party on"
407
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,999
very troubling.
408
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,785
You see, one should never end
a sentence with a preposition.
409
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:12,178
Perhaps, "On with the party"
410
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:13,831
or, "Now is the time
for a party"
411
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,095
would be
a more acceptable syntax.
412
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:19,837
- Mark?
- Yes.
413
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,143
You're fired.
414
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:29,195
You know, J.T.,
you're being a real creep.
415
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,153
Hey, can it
or I'll fire you, too.
416
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:37,246
This is why we need a union.
417
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:39,944
[sighs]
418
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,210
[clattering]
419
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,168
Something bothering you, J.T.?
420
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,737
No, no. Everything's fine.
421
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:55,395
♪ People let me tell you
'bout my best friend.. ♪♪
422
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,442
Why are you singing that?
423
00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:01,923
I'm just a happy guy who likes
to sing about friendship.
424
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:03,751
[laughs]
425
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:04,969
Hey, J.T.
426
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:07,189
[chuckles]
Glad I caught ya.
427
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:08,625
Listen, I just wanted
to tell you
428
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,801
good luck on the show tonight
and, uh..
429
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,152
Oh, I'm sorry
I blew it yesterday.
430
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:14,675
Um, no problem.
431
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:20,724
Look, anyway, I know you need
some music for your theme song
432
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:23,597
so I want you
to have my guitar, bro. Heh.
433
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:26,817
Oh, Cody, giving up your guitar?
434
00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:28,732
Now, that's what I call a..
435
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:30,560
♪ Best friend ♪♪
436
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,695
Anyway, party on, cuz.
437
00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:35,957
[chuckles]
438
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,785
Cody, wait.
439
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:40,570
[sighs]
This isn't any good.
440
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:43,399
Well, I know it's not
a Stratocaster or anything.
441
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:46,315
Yeah. It's the best I could do
for 20 bucks.
442
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:50,798
[sighs]
No, I mean,
I've been a real jerk.
443
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:55,368
You didn't blow it yesterday.
I did.
444
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:58,327
Lisa liked you better than me,
and I couldn't handle it.
445
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:01,025
So I dumped you.
446
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:04,638
Well, I don't get it. Why would
Lisa like me better than you?
447
00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:06,944
I don't know,
maybe because you're taller
448
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,990
better-looking, cooler..
449
00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,121
Who knows how girls think?
450
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,297
[scoffs]
451
00:20:13,777 --> 00:20:15,301
Well, cuz,
you didn't have to worry
452
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:17,303
about me scammin' on Lisa.
453
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:20,654
[scoffs]
I knew you liked her.
We're buds.
454
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:23,222
Dude, buds are thicker
than babes.
455
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,009
Cody,
you're a better man than me.
456
00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:30,577
Pssh, well, yeah.
457
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,448
[chuckles]
458
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:37,410
What would you say if I asked
you to come back to the show?
459
00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:38,846
"J.T.'s World?"
460
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:40,978
No. "J.T. And Cody's World."
461
00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,328
I'd say, "Party on, J.T."
462
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:44,808
- Party on, Codeman.
- Yeah..
463
00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:47,855
[both]
"J.T. And Cody's World."
Party time! Excellent!
464
00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:49,204
[laughing]
465
00:20:50,945 --> 00:20:53,817
[instrumental music]
466
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:59,475
Hey, mom, we got a Mel Gibson
movie at the video store.
467
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:01,782
Ooh, a Mel Gibson movie?
Which one?
468
00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:03,436
Oh, who cares
as long as he has his shirt off.
469
00:21:03,523 --> 00:21:05,046
[laughs]
470
00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:07,266
You think he's pretty hot,
don't you, mom?
471
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,442
Well, let's just put it
this way.
472
00:21:10,878 --> 00:21:12,053
Sss..
473
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,055
I know what you mean.
474
00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:15,274
I wouldn't mind being stranded
475
00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:17,406
on a desert island with old Mel.
476
00:21:17,493 --> 00:21:19,103
Shame on you, Karen.
477
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:20,757
If anyone
is going to be stranded
478
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:22,106
on a desert island with Mel
479
00:21:22,193 --> 00:21:24,892
it is going to be me.
480
00:21:24,979 --> 00:21:28,287
- But, mom, what about Frank?
- Frank who?
481
00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:30,376
[laughing]
482
00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:31,420
Frank me.
483
00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:34,249
[laughing]
484
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:36,599
Remember me? The one
you're gonna wait for forever?
485
00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,297
Frank, you were eavesdropping.
486
00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,037
I wasn't eavesdropping, honey.
I set you up.
487
00:21:40,124 --> 00:21:41,430
Thanks, girls.
488
00:21:42,997 --> 00:21:45,739
Sold out
by my own flesh and blood?
489
00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:47,784
You said you wanted us
to get closer to Frank.
490
00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:50,221
Right, and every time
he gives me money
491
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:53,094
I feel closer to him.
492
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:55,749
In fact, for a 100 bucks,
I'll call you dad.
493
00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:56,837
Beat it.
494
00:21:56,924 --> 00:21:59,318
For 200, I'll do it in public.
495
00:21:59,405 --> 00:22:00,667
Beat it.
496
00:22:03,452 --> 00:22:05,802
Uh, you know, Carol,
I'm very disappointed in you.
497
00:22:05,889 --> 00:22:09,153
You know, obviously, you don't
love me as much as I love you.
498
00:22:13,636 --> 00:22:15,943
Okay, Frank.
You made your point, huh?
499
00:22:16,030 --> 00:22:17,597
Come on,
let's just call a truce, huh?
500
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:21,470
Uh, I don't know.
This Mel Gibson thing, I..
501
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:22,906
It's gonna take me a while
to get over that.
502
00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:24,081
[exhales sharply]
503
00:22:25,735 --> 00:22:27,171
Well..
504
00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:29,522
...maybe this will help you
get over it.
505
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,873
I think I'm over it.
506
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,354
[instrumental music]
507
00:22:37,747 --> 00:22:39,314
[guitar music]
508
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:42,361
Alright. Okay, our first guest
is a certified B babe-alua.
509
00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:44,972
Lisa Morgan! Lisa!
510
00:22:45,059 --> 00:22:46,234
[laughs]
511
00:22:48,192 --> 00:22:50,194
- 'Cut! Cut!'
- Alright.
512
00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:52,806
Okay, our first guest
is a certified B babe-alua.
513
00:22:52,893 --> 00:22:55,025
Lisa Morgan! Lisa..
514
00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:56,766
[laughing]
515
00:22:58,768 --> 00:22:59,769
- Again.
- 'And action!'
516
00:22:59,856 --> 00:23:00,857
Lisa..
517
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,772
[laughs]
Oh, damn.
518
00:23:02,859 --> 00:23:05,514
[male #1]
'...ready? And cut.'
519
00:23:05,601 --> 00:23:07,211
'And action!'
520
00:23:07,298 --> 00:23:09,736
- Lisa..
- Lisa, monster babe..
521
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:12,913
- Okay.
- 'And cut, right.'
522
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,567
- Lisa! Monster babe!
- Lisa! Monster babe!
523
00:23:14,654 --> 00:23:16,264
- Certified! Excellent!
- Certified! Excellent!
524
00:23:16,351 --> 00:23:17,308
[guitar music]
36168
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