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1
00:00:00,826 --> 00:00:02,393
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:05,831
[groans]
3
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:09,052
Boy, that's the last time
I'd try and lift a table saw.
4
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,445
Well, Frank, I don't get it.
5
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,229
I thought you hired Ray
to do the heavy work.
6
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:14,405
Well, I did,
but he hurt his back.
7
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,581
- How?
- Trying to lift a table saw.
8
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:22,239
Oh, okay. Right there.
Now, push it.
9
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:23,284
[bones cracking]
10
00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,242
[groans]
11
00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:26,896
Thank you, honey,
that's wonderful.
12
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:29,420
Bye, guys. I'm going to the park
with Lori and her dad.
13
00:00:29,507 --> 00:00:31,814
Ah. Now, wait,
wait a minute.
14
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:34,425
[scoffs]
Boy, you've been spendin'
an awful lot of time
15
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,253
with Lori and Ted
the last couple of weeks.
16
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,429
We've just been tossing
the football around.
17
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,562
Ted's showing us
how to throw spirals.
18
00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:42,520
Well, you know
19
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:45,262
your old man played a little
football in his day, too.
20
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:48,048
I don't wanna brag, but, uh..
21
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:52,008
I led the Sheboygan Sugarbears
to the City Championship.
22
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:54,402
Ted took his team
to the championship, too.
23
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:57,492
- Really? What city?
- Well, I don't know.
24
00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:59,537
Where'd they play
Super Bowl XII?
25
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:05,369
Wow! The Super Bowl?
Ted must be a real athlete.
26
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:08,677
Well, honey, just because
you play in the Super Bowl
27
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:12,072
doesn't make you
a real athlete.
28
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,551
No, siree.
29
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,249
Now, lifting table saws
30
00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:17,555
that's a real athlete, huh?
31
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:20,341
How far did you throw
that one last week, huh, honey?
32
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:21,907
[siren blaring]
33
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:23,518
What was that?
34
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,607
Well, that's Ted
in the Classic MG he restored.
35
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:28,479
That guy can do anything.
See you later.
36
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:29,698
Bye.
37
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:34,703
Well, isn't that nice?
Al has a new friend.
38
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:38,794
- Who, Lori or Super Bowl Ted?
- Ooh.
39
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:42,493
Do I detect a hint of jealousy
in your voice?
40
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,495
I have no reason
to be jealous, honey.
41
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:47,368
I could've played pro football
if I wanted to.
42
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:49,544
It's just.. N-nobody asked.
43
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,636
Hey, Uncle Frank..
44
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,377
- Hey.
- 'Cody.'
45
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:58,509
[Carol]
'Hey, Cody.'
46
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:02,252
Why is Cody wearing a suit
made of Velcro?
47
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,863
I'll take this one, honey.
Ahem.
48
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:07,214
Cody, ha-ha,
I'm almost afraid to ask
49
00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:10,173
but, uh,
where did you come from?
50
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:13,959
Well, I was born
in a cross-fire hurricane.
51
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,356
And I howled at the wind
and the driving rain.
52
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,011
No, wait a minute,
that wasn't me
53
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:24,579
that was "Jumpin' Jack Flash."
54
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:26,755
[chuckles]
What a gas, gas, gas.
55
00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,759
Now, see, Cody, I think what
Frank was trying to ask you
56
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,588
was where did you
come from today?
57
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:34,980
Oh, I know this one.
Wait a minute.
58
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,157
[laughs]
59
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:39,246
Okay, I was
at the Family Fun Center.
60
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,422
Yeah, they got this thing called
the human fly room.
61
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,858
You put on this Velcro suit
62
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:44,816
you jump off a trampoline
into this wall
63
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,557
and you just stick there.
64
00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:48,994
It's totally awesome. Ha-ha.
65
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:51,519
What? Do you have to buy
the suit to play this game?
66
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,521
No way!
Those things cost a mint.
67
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,218
You just rent 'em by the hour.
68
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,397
When is your hour up?
69
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,444
Oh, I don't know,
I-I can't see my watch.
70
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:07,012
I got this Velcro s-suit on.
71
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:09,928
Oh, man, I forgot
to take off my suit.
72
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:12,844
No wonder they were starin'
at me at the laundromat.
73
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:22,289
[theme music]
74
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:36,216
[screaming]
75
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:39,871
♪ The dream got broken ♪
76
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,917
♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪
77
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,788
♪ What would be the future ♪
78
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,486
♪ Could you pay the cost ♪
79
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:46,617
♪ You wonder ♪
80
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,315
♪ Will there ever be ♪
81
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,404
♪ A second time around ♪
82
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,320
♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪
83
00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:55,104
♪ When the tears are over ♪
84
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,541
♪ And the moment has come ♪
85
00:03:57,628 --> 00:04:01,110
♪ Say my Lord
I think I found someone ♪
86
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:03,025
♪ You know it will be better ♪
87
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:04,635
♪ 'Cause you're puttin' it
together ♪
88
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:07,334
♪ For the second time around ♪
89
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,559
♪ Step by step ♪
90
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,431
♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪
91
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,346
♪ A fresh start over ♪
92
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,130
♪ A different hand to play ♪
93
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,001
♪ The deeper we fall ♪
94
00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,221
♪ The stronger we stay ♪
95
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,267
♪ It will be better ♪
96
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,790
♪ The second time around ♪
97
00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:30,618
♪ Step by step ♪
98
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,750
♪ Day by day ♪
99
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,839
♪ We'll make it better ♪
100
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:37,233
♪ The second time around ♪♪
101
00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:52,335
[instrumental music]
102
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,948
[J.T.]
Karen, good.
I'm glad you're home.
103
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,820
Hey, listen, do you think
a girl who's a senior
104
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,952
will go out with a guy
who's a junior?
105
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,781
- Depends. Who's the girl?
- Judy Phelps.
106
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:07,307
- Ooh, classy. Who's the guy?
- Me.
107
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,265
[laughing]
108
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,050
No, really. Who's the guy?
109
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,054
Me.
110
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:19,188
J.T., Judy Phelps
is practically a woman.
111
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:22,278
She's going to want a man.
You don't even shave.
112
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,846
I shave,
just not every month.
113
00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:29,981
Okay, fine.
But can we talk hair?
114
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,941
What is wrong with my hair?
115
00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:34,421
It just lays there.
116
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:37,032
You need more thickness,
more body.
117
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:40,340
Face it, J.T.
You have a little boy's haircut.
118
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:43,255
I do not have
a little boy's haircut.
119
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,606
Hey, J.T.
120
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:46,911
Check this out.
121
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,740
Carol cut my hair
just like yours.
122
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,699
Now, I look old enough
to be in the fifth grade.
123
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,268
Karen, you've gotta help me
with my hair.
124
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,792
- Why should I?
- I'm begging.
125
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,228
- So?
- I'm pleading.
126
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,229
- So?
- I'm paying.
127
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:02,013
I'll do it.
128
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,973
[instrumental music]
129
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,761
Oh, huh, Carol.
Where's Al?
130
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,676
- Upstairs.
- Oh, good. Al!
131
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,635
Hey, come on down!
132
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,941
Honey, my tile man
got me two tickets
133
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:19,117
to the Packers' game tonight,
right on the 50-yard line.
134
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,859
Oh, and you're going to take Al?
Oh, how nice.
135
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:25,385
Yeah, it's great, isn't it?
Am I a wonderful dad or what?
136
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:28,518
In your face, Ted Davis.
137
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,347
Oh, hey, dad. What's up?
138
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,044
How would you like to go
to a Packers' game?
139
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,438
- Oh, that sounds great.
- Get your jacket, we're goin'.
140
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:38,398
Wait a minute.
You mean, it's tonight?
141
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,400
- Well, yeah.
- Sorry, dad.
142
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:43,968
But I promised I'd go go-karting
with Lori and Ted.
143
00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,579
Al, I thought
you hated go-karting.
144
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,058
Well, I did,
but that was before
145
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,756
Ted taught me how to drive.
146
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:51,498
Did you know that he worked
on a pit crew at Indy?
147
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:55,676
Uh, I thought
he played pro football.
148
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,982
Well, he wanted to stay busy
in the off-season.
149
00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:01,029
[siren blaring]
150
00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:05,163
Sorry, dad,
if it was any other night--
151
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,861
No, no, no.
You go have fun. Go on.
152
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,037
- Thanks, dad.
- Ha-ha.
153
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,299
[door opens]
154
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:15,565
♪ Is this the little girl
I carried ♪
155
00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,262
Frank.
156
00:07:17,349 --> 00:07:19,700
♪ Is this our little girl
I'd play-- ♪♪
157
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,919
Oh, come on, Frank.
158
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,880
We're not even Jewish.
159
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,796
Face it, Carol. I've lost her.
I'm being replaced.
160
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:31,538
You are not being replaced.
Ted is just a fun guy.
161
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,454
"Ted's a fun guy." Well,
what am I, a tongue depressor?
162
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,500
Hey, Uncle Frank.
163
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,110
- Hey, Carol.
- Hi, Cody.
164
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:41,852
You guys doin' anything tonight?
Huh?
165
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:47,815
Well, Frank is doing a medley
from "Fiddler On The Roof."
166
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:49,904
Other than that, we're free.
167
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,906
Well, why don't you come down
with me and the little dudes
168
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,298
down to the human fly room?
169
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:54,996
I'm trying out
a new jump tonight.
170
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,780
It's called
The Bug Meets Windshield.
171
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,956
[laughs]
172
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,828
No, thanks, Code.
I'm not in the mood.
173
00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:03,134
Oh, stay here,
feel sorry for yourself
174
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,746
and sing old show tunes
all night.
175
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:09,967
Wow, show tunes?
I love show tunes. Ha-ha.
176
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,752
Maybe I'll stay and hang out
with you, Uncle Frank.
177
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,276
[chuckles]
Hey, do you know this one?
178
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:17,192
♪ Just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ♪
179
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:18,715
♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪
180
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,412
Come on, everybody. Ha-ha.
181
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,719
♪ That started
from this tropic port ♪
182
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,416
♪ Aboard this tiny ship.. ♪♪
183
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,506
Well, let's go check out
this human fly room, huh?
184
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:28,551
[chuckles]
How about "Green Acres?"
185
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,466
Or better yet, "60 Minutes."
186
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:36,516
[instrumental music]
187
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:42,043
[indistinct chatter]
188
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:53,010
Well, I'm telling you, my back
hurts just watchin' this.
189
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:54,664
Ugh.
190
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,231
Okay.
191
00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:57,406
I'd like to dedicate this
192
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,887
next jump to my Uncle Frank.
193
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,280
It's called
The Bug Meets Windshield.
194
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:06,197
[chuckles]
Uncle Frank.
195
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,677
This bug's for you.
196
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,464
[imitates buzzing]
197
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:19,254
[applause]
198
00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:27,001
Yeah! Alright!
199
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:28,916
Well, at least he's not
wasting his evenings.
200
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,308
[chuckles]
201
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:35,052
Hey, look, dad. There's Al.
202
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:38,055
Hey, Al. Hi. Over here.
203
00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:40,057
So, that's Super Bowl Ted, huh?
204
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,451
- He's kinda short, isn't he?
- Frank.
205
00:09:43,495 --> 00:09:44,975
Hey, Carol. Dad.
206
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:46,847
You all know Lori,
and this is her dad, Ted.
207
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,153
- Hi.
- Hi, Ted. Frank Lambert.
208
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,329
Frank. Whoa!
Quite a grip you got there.
209
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,636
Oh, sorry. Guess I just
don't know my own strength.
210
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,899
Yeah. Hey, pal.
How you doin' tonight?
211
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:57,466
Du.. He's fine,
he's fine, he's great.
212
00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:59,424
We have a wonderful
relationship.
213
00:10:01,513 --> 00:10:02,863
So, how was go-karting?
214
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,865
Oh, it was fine.
Al is a great driver.
215
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,171
Well, that's just 'cause
you're a great teacher.
216
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,956
Boy, dad.
This place is packed.
217
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,871
Yeah, it kinda reminds me
of that Yogi Bear story.
218
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,089
His friends wanted
to take him out
219
00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:13,743
to a popular restaurant,
he said, "Nah.
220
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,963
Nobody goes there anymore,
it's too crowded."
221
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:17,921
[laughing]
222
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,578
Oh-ho, hey. Oh, boy.
That's enough.
223
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,060
Boy, Ted, you tell
the greatest stories.
224
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,931
Ha-ha. That was so funny.
225
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,759
Well, that's a good one, but..
226
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,631
Hey, you know the funniest thing
Yogi ever said? Ha-ha.
227
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,937
Um, what was that?
228
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:36,374
[imitating Yogi Bear]
"Hey, Boo-Boo. I'm smarter
than the average bear."
229
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:38,289
[laughing]
230
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,253
[laughing]
Oh.
231
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:48,691
That's a riot, Frank.
232
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:52,390
I-it's a, it's a thinking joke.
233
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:54,958
Thanks, honey.
234
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:59,397
Hey, you guys.
Awesome news. Ha-ha.
235
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:02,096
They're havin' a Human Fly
Competition here tomorrow night.
236
00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:03,880
The winner gets a trophy
237
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:06,274
and a trip
to the state fly-offs.
238
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:08,755
Hey, dad. Why don't you
enter the competition?
239
00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:13,368
You know, that sounds like fun.
240
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,414
Gimme five-high.
241
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,199
- Count me in, okay?
- Alright!
242
00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:21,593
Boy, whoever wins this
will be the coolest guy around.
243
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,899
- Really?
- Frank.
244
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,381
Coolest guy around, huh?
245
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:29,471
Excuse me,
I think I'm being paged.
246
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,908
- Count me in.
- Alright!
247
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,824
[instrumental music]
248
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,745
Boy! I can't wait
till the Human Fly Contest.
249
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,704
Now, remember, Frank,
you're in training
250
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:47,445
so no hanky-panky tonight.
251
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:54,061
Oh, that won't be a problem.
252
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,240
Well, goodnight, boys.
253
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:00,676
- Sweet dreams.
- Goodnight, mom.
254
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,070
- Goodnight.
- Have a nice sleep. Ta-ta.
255
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,073
Frank, are you crazy?
256
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,465
What? What?
257
00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:09,076
The other day,
your back hurts so bad
258
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,512
you couldn't stand up straight.
259
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,340
Now you wanna bounce off
a trampoline
260
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,255
and become a human fly?
261
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,823
You wanna become a fly?
You wanna become a fly?
262
00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,433
There, you're a fly!
263
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,222
- Ouch!
- You think that hurt?
264
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:26,615
Why don't you get hit by a wall
265
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,704
that doesn't love you?
266
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:31,620
Carol, I have to do something
to impress Al.
267
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,665
Oh, Frank,
this is all in your head.
268
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:37,147
Entering the stupid Human Fly
Contest is no big deal to her.
269
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,324
Oh, dad.
270
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:42,196
I can't wait
till tomorrow night.
271
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,372
I'm gonna invite all my friends
to come cheer you on.
272
00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,461
- You're the best, dad.
- He-he.
273
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:50,508
[instrumental music]
274
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:53,685
You're right, honey. I'm glad
it's no big deal to her.
275
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:02,694
Ow!
276
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,959
Come on, J.T., be a man.
277
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:08,526
It's hard to be a man
when you look like a woman.
278
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,096
[scoffs]
279
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:16,056
Aww, J.T.
280
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,623
[chuckles]
281
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,538
Where do I begin?
282
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:24,020
Don't you say a word.
283
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,848
I was not going to say anything.
284
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:28,416
I was just thinking what
a great Donahue this would make.
285
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,244
Boys who wear pink curlers
286
00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:31,898
and the woman
who ridicule them.
287
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,597
Hey, I'm just getting
a little more body.
288
00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,468
Something you ought
to look into.
289
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,212
Hmm, that's a good one, J.T.
290
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:45,563
Very funny for someone
who's not anatomically correct.
291
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,221
Dana, please.
You're upsetting J.T.
292
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:54,094
And we're at a critical part
of the process.
293
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,748
Oh, Lord! I'm so sorry.
294
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,663
I had no idea.
295
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:01,014
I'll be in the waiting room
with the rest of the media.
296
00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:07,194
How much longer
is this gonna take?
297
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,152
J.T., I know what I'm doing.
298
00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:11,763
I've seen mom do this
a thousand times.
299
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,896
We'll just leave the solution on
a few more minutes
300
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,072
then we'll put the neutralizer
on and then you'll be done.
301
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,249
[telephone ringing]
302
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,643
Hello?
303
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,210
[chuckles]
304
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,820
Oh, hi, Bobby.
305
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,172
I'm gonna take
this call upstairs.
306
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:30,913
Don't go anywhere.
307
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,046
Oh, darn, I was gonna go down
to the pool hall
308
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,699
and hang out with the guys.
309
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:37,702
[instrumental music]
310
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:42,751
- Ready?
- Yes.
311
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:44,448
- Here we go!
- Ah!
312
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:49,149
Wow, this is cool!
So, how do I look?
313
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:50,846
[chuckles]
Well, you look like
314
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:53,849
the world's largest
refrigerator magnet.
315
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,982
Mom, we're hungry.
Can we have some pizza?
316
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,375
Oh, sure, honey.
My purse is over here.
317
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,773
Uh, guys?
318
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:07,210
I'm ready to come down now.
319
00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:09,125
Hello?
320
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:12,868
Whoa!
321
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,044
You get a lot of lift
out of those little legs.
322
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:16,045
[chuckles]
323
00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:17,917
Yep.
324
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,833
- Thanks, Cody.
- Yeah.
325
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:28,710
[J.T.]
'Karen, I don't know
about this.'
326
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:31,278
Don't worry, J.T.
You look fine.
327
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:40,113
You know, I-I didn't think
it was gonna be this curly.
328
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,898
Well, it's not exactly
what I planned.
329
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,814
But, hey,
let's keep an open mind.
330
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:48,295
Who knows?
Judy might love it.
331
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:50,210
- Let's hope so.
- Give it a shot.
332
00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:51,820
She's right over there.
333
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,787
- Hi, Judy.
- J.T.?
334
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:05,225
[all laughing]
335
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:08,837
Oh, that is the funniest wig
I have ever seen.
336
00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:13,581
Hey, you know me.
Anything for a laugh.
337
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:17,889
Hey, I gotta go. Ha-ha.
338
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,065
I hate my life.
339
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:23,634
Hey, I know you.
You're one of The Jackson 5's.
340
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,160
Hold that elevator.
341
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,641
Ladies and gentlemen.
342
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,993
The Human Fly Competition
is about to begin.
343
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,734
So, let's have a hand
344
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:39,433
for our first round
of contestants.
345
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,175
[applause]
346
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:46,048
Now, each of our contestants
will be graded
347
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:49,138
for artistic merit by our
distinguished panel of judges.
348
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,227
[chuckles]
Leading up..
349
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,490
...is Port Washington's
number one
350
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,841
demolition man, Cody Lambert.
351
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,495
[cheering]
352
00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:01,455
[drum roll]
353
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,895
- 'Wow!'
- Wow!
354
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:11,204
And the score..
355
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:14,207
'Whoa!'
356
00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:15,991
[female #1]
'My goodness!'
357
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:20,039
- 'Yeah, Cody.'
- Yeah, alright.
358
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:23,042
Alright.
359
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:26,306
Now, our next contestant
is no stranger
360
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:27,742
to competition.
361
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:29,961
A former All-Pro safety
362
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,355
with the Dallas Cowboys.
363
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:35,054
'A Road Scholar'
364
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,839
'and the man who brought
super hydroplaning'
365
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:40,320
'to Lake Michigan,
let's hear it for Ted Davis.'
366
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:42,191
[applause]
367
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,150
[drum roll]
368
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,806
Sure, he played
football years ago.
369
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:50,765
Let's see
if he's still got it, huh?
370
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:56,771
[cheering]
371
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,514
Yep, he's still got it.
372
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,517
And the score..
373
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,086
- 'Whoa! Man!'
- Wow!
374
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:14,658
Frank, I'm begging you.
Please, don't do this.
375
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:17,052
If Ted can do one somersault,
I can do two.
376
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,359
[sighs]
Are you insane?
377
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,187
You get dizzy in a swivel chair.
378
00:18:22,797 --> 00:18:24,842
- That was great, Ted.
- Oh, thanks, honey.
379
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,150
I have to do this.
380
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:31,762
Now, our next contestant
owns Lambert Constructions.
381
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,416
'Uh, yes, sir?'
382
00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:34,809
[indistinct whispering]
383
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,466
"Led the Sheboygan Sugarbears
384
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:42,643
to the City Championship
in 1969?"
385
00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:46,603
Anyway..
386
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,433
Let's hear it for Frank Lambert.
387
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,393
[drum roll]
388
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,931
Whoa!
389
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:12,107
[Frank groans]
390
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:20,942
Frank! Frank! Frank!
391
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,813
Frank, are you alright?
392
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,424
Help me.
393
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:28,341
Help me.
394
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:31,300
[instrumental music]
395
00:19:32,475 --> 00:19:34,303
[screaming]
396
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:41,484
Here, Frank.
397
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,704
Four out of five doctors
recommend these
398
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,096
for idiots who injure themselves
399
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,620
trying to be machos.
400
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,666
Come on, Carol.
401
00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:52,800
I had to do something
to win back Al.
402
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:54,018
You saw the way that she looked
403
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,499
at Ted after his jump.
404
00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:58,545
She used to look at me that way.
405
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,330
Dad?
406
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:04,507
You mean, you did this for me?
407
00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:06,205
Well, Al, I, uh..
408
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:08,598
You know, uh,
I'll let you two be alone.
409
00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:11,340
I, uh, have to, uh..
410
00:20:11,427 --> 00:20:13,168
...go iron J.T.'s hair.
411
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,434
Come on, Al, sit down.
412
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:19,740
[groans]
413
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,222
Listen, uh..
414
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,441
I know this may sound
a little strange
415
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:28,879
but, uh,
I guess I just felt
416
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:30,664
I needed to impress you.
417
00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:34,189
Impress me? Why?
418
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:37,018
Well, last couple of weeks,
you've been
419
00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:39,977
talkin' an awful lot
about what a great guy Ted is
420
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:43,242
and...I guess
I just got a little..
421
00:20:43,981 --> 00:20:45,461
...jealous.
422
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,376
Sort of like
you didn't need me anymore.
423
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:49,248
Well, of course I need you.
424
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:50,901
You're my dad.
425
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:55,036
I mean, sure, Ted's good
at football and swimming.
426
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:57,168
And he's funny and smart,
and--
427
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,301
Yeah, I-I-I understand, okay?
428
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:01,085
I, I understand.
429
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,174
Look, Ted's a great guy
430
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,915
but he's not you.
431
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:07,091
You do the important stuff.
432
00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:10,138
You're the one who held my hand
the first day at kindergarten.
433
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:13,010
You're the one who checked
under my bed for monsters.
434
00:21:13,097 --> 00:21:15,665
You're the one who holds
my hair back when I throw up.
435
00:21:19,190 --> 00:21:22,933
- Only a dad would do that.
- True.
436
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:25,109
You're the greatest dad
in the world.
437
00:21:25,196 --> 00:21:26,981
No one could replace you.
438
00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:29,940
- I love you, dad.
- Ah.
439
00:21:30,027 --> 00:21:32,203
I love you, too, pal.
440
00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:37,078
Whoa. Tender family moment.
441
00:21:37,165 --> 00:21:38,993
[chuckles]
442
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,169
Exit, stage right.
443
00:21:41,256 --> 00:21:42,953
No, Cody, it's okay.
What's up?
444
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,739
Oh, well, I just wanted to
drop off this ribbon to you
445
00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:48,263
that you won
at the Human Fly Competition.
446
00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,526
- I-I won a ribbon?
- Yeah.
447
00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:52,485
It's the black and blue ribbon.
448
00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:57,316
[chuckles]
Goes to the most courageous
human fly. Yeah.
449
00:21:57,403 --> 00:21:59,970
For the contestant who had
absolutely no business
450
00:22:00,057 --> 00:22:01,494
being there in the first place.
451
00:22:01,581 --> 00:22:03,409
[laughs]
452
00:22:03,496 --> 00:22:05,541
I'm honored. Oh.
453
00:22:05,628 --> 00:22:07,717
Hey, Uncle Frank,
your back's still bothering you?
454
00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:09,763
- Yeah--
- Maybe I can help. Oh, no, no.
455
00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:11,373
Come here, man.
Oh, just, just a little bit.
456
00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:12,896
[bones cracking]
457
00:22:12,983 --> 00:22:14,681
Yeah. See, buddy?
458
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:16,726
[laughs]
459
00:22:16,813 --> 00:22:18,685
Cody, that's fantastic.
460
00:22:18,772 --> 00:22:20,077
Where did you learn that?
461
00:22:20,164 --> 00:22:21,905
From Lori's dad, Ted.
462
00:22:26,736 --> 00:22:28,434
Yeah, did you know
he is a chiropractor
463
00:22:28,521 --> 00:22:30,044
for the Olympic team?
464
00:22:38,922 --> 00:22:41,272
Are you sure
this is gonna fix my hair?
465
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,493
Yes, J.T.
This is a deep conditioner.
466
00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:46,539
Trust me,
in just a few seconds
467
00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:48,410
you hair will be back to normal.
468
00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:49,977
[bell dings]
469
00:22:52,022 --> 00:22:53,284
[sighs]
470
00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:56,418
Oh, my goodness.
471
00:22:57,985 --> 00:23:00,857
- What's the matter?
- Uh, nothing.
472
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,076
Excuse me.
473
00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:08,038
[sighs]
474
00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:11,128
[screaming]
475
00:23:12,913 --> 00:23:14,610
I'm gonna kill you!
33426
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