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1
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[theme music]
2
00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,353
[squeals]
3
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,573
Come on, boy. You can do it.
4
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,097
One step at a time.
5
00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:11,794
Perhaps, stair climbing
is not instinctual
6
00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:13,187
to the porcine family.
7
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No, no, Boyd can learn this.
8
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- Pigs are very smart animals.
- True.
9
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:19,541
Perhaps, you just have
an unusually stupid one.
10
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:24,415
Hey, you can call me stupid.
11
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You can call my family stupid.
12
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:29,246
But lay off the pig.
13
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:32,032
You're right. Pigs are smart.
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Studies have shown,
if an animal is unable to learn
15
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the fault lies with the trainer.
16
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Oh, really?
17
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,389
Let me show you
how good of a trainer I am.
18
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,956
If you're not upstairs
in the next three seconds
19
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,742
I'm gonna make your nose
look just like Boyd's.
20
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,135
Bye.
21
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,922
There, now,
see how easy that was.
22
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[theme song]
23
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[screaming]
24
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:15,640
♪ The dream wide broken ♪
25
00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:17,686
♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪
26
00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:19,340
♪ What would be the future ♪
27
00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,211
♪ Could you pay the cost? ♪
28
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,256
♪ You wonder ♪
29
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,040
♪ Will there ever be ♪
30
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,216
♪ A second time around? ♪
31
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♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪
32
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♪ When the tears are over ♪
33
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,049
♪ And the moment has come ♪
34
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:36,835
♪ Say My Lord
I think I found someone ♪
35
00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:38,707
♪ You know it will be better ♪
36
00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:40,361
♪ 'Cause you're
putting it together ♪
37
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:43,320
♪ For the second time around ♪
38
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,587
♪ We got the woman and man ♪
39
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:53,678
♪ We got the kids and the clan ♪
40
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♪ Only time will tell 'em ♪
41
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♪ If all these dreams
fit under one umbrella ♪
42
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♪ Step by step ♪
43
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♪ Day by day ♪
44
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,042
♪ A fresh start over ♪
45
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♪ A different hand to play ♪
46
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♪ The deeper we fall ♪
47
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♪ The stronger we stay ♪
48
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♪ And we'll be better ♪
49
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♪ The second time around ♪
50
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♪ Step by step day by day ♪
51
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♪ Day by day ♪
52
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:25,319
♪ A fresh start over ♪
53
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:26,972
♪ A different hand to play ♪
54
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:28,844
♪ Only time will tell ♪
55
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♪ But you know what they say ♪
56
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♪ We'll make it better ♪
57
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♪ The second time around ♪♪
58
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[instrumental music]
59
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Oh! Oh, honey. You'll
never guess what happened.
60
00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:03,792
First tell me
how fast you were going
61
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,141
when you hit that duck.
62
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:09,624
Oh! Oh, no. I just
came from a Lodge meeting.
63
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:13,367
And I was just elected
first deputy Grand Mallard.
64
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:16,892
Wow! I-is that a good thing?
65
00:03:16,979 --> 00:03:18,633
Oh, honey,
that's a great thing.
66
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,200
That means, I'm second
in the pecking order.
67
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:23,333
No Lambert
has ever flown so high.
68
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,335
And one of my first
responsibilities
69
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,294
is to MC the Lodge's annual
70
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,556
mother-daughter
beauty contest.
71
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,471
Alright.
72
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,516
Frank, that's wonderful!
73
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:33,996
I've been wanting
to enter that pageant
74
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,824
ever since I realized
I was beautiful.
75
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,042
[chuckles]
76
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,350
A beauty pageant?
77
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Why would anybody wanna
put themselves on display
78
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:44,180
like a piece of meat?
79
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,790
Come on now, Dana.
80
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,618
This is not just
some beauty pageant
81
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:50,055
where a bunch of bimbos
walk around in swimming suits.
82
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,232
Ah, man,
then what's the point?
83
00:03:54,799 --> 00:03:56,888
Frank is right.
I mean, it's not just looks.
84
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,674
Talent is a big part
of the overall score.
85
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,807
Plus the daughter makes a speech
that's evaluated on content.
86
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,418
Oh, mom, we can't lose.
87
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:05,462
Wait a second, wait a second
88
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,334
I never said I was entering.
89
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:08,900
Mom, we have to.
90
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:11,860
It's the perfect preparation
for my modelling career.
91
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,384
Last year's winner,
Lisa Carter has already done
92
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:17,300
two auto shows,
a seed catalogue
93
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,433
and is thinking
about moving to Milwaukee.
94
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,611
Milwaukee,
all of Paris hold it's breath
95
00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:27,354
to see what Milwaukee
is wearing this season.
96
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,051
Carol, come on now,
it's for a good cause.
97
00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:30,444
A-all the proceeds
go to charity
98
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,402
and the winning daughter
99
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,491
gets a savings bond
for college.
100
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What an honor? The Toni Home
Permanent scholarship.
101
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,497
You really want this,
don't you, Karen?
102
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,325
[giggles]
103
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:44,066
Oh, what the heck.
104
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:45,981
Oh, thanks, mom.
105
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,549
I'm gonna go practice
smiling sincerely.
106
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,380
Ugh, I never
should have bought her
107
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:56,470
that Brooke Shields doll.
108
00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:58,994
Mom, I cannot believe you are
gonna enter a beauty contest.
109
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,126
Well, this isn't
my first contest, you know?
110
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:05,305
You ever hear of Miss Small
Curd Cottage Cheese, 1974?
111
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,699
You're kidding, mom.
You won?
112
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:11,093
Well, I didn't win actually
113
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:13,008
but I was first runner-up.
114
00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:14,792
Well, wait a minute,
w-what'd the winner had
115
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that you didn't?
116
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Bigger curds.
117
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:20,798
Wow!
118
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,893
- Hey, everybody!
- Oh, hey, Cody. Great news.
119
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:32,375
Guess who's gonna MC our Lodge's
mother-daughter beauty contest?
120
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Oh.. Me!
121
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,423
No, Cody. Me.
122
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,381
[chuckles]
Alrighteous.
123
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,646
We are now inducting
new members
124
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and now that you are old enough,
guess who is eligible?
125
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,389
You?
126
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,828
- No, Cody. You!
- No way!
127
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:53,091
Yeah, now, all you have to do
is come up with a good
128
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:55,485
initiation project
and pass the oral exam.
129
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:58,009
Oh, well,
the oral exam's no problem.
130
00:05:58,096 --> 00:05:59,968
[chuckles]
Dude, I floss everyday.
131
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:04,015
[instrumental music]
132
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:09,586
- Okay, question number 53.
- False.
133
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,069
- Cody--
- True.
134
00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:17,725
Alright, question number 54.
135
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,727
[sighs]
136
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,990
"When was the first
Mallard Lodge founded?"
137
00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:24,732
- 1937.
- Right.
138
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,777
"Who was the first
Grand Mallard?"
139
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:27,865
Bucky Miller.
140
00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,824
Who served from 1937
141
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:32,130
until his untimely death
in 1946
142
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,741
due to a hunting accident.
143
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:35,743
[clicks tongue]
And what did we Mallards learn
144
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,222
from this tragedy?
145
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,573
Never wear your duck hat
in a cornfield.
146
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,316
Hey, come on, now, pal,
you got all this
147
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,144
oral examination stuff down.
148
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:48,364
Now, what are you gonna do
for an initiation project?
149
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,366
That's the thing
that's gonna swing the judges.
150
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,803
[sighs]
Well, you know
151
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,370
I was thinking
of painting a mural
152
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:55,850
of prehistoric times, you know
153
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,069
when, uh,
man walked on all fours
154
00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,462
and ducks ruled the planet.
155
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,377
[chuckles]
156
00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,684
And all the lesser creatures
were cowering in fear because--
157
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,903
Uh, C-C-Cody.
158
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,819
Ducks never ruled the planet.
159
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:11,169
Well, they had
a lot of clout though, right?
160
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,826
You know, Code, uh,
I think this duck power mural
161
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:18,133
uh, might not be the way to go.
162
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:21,484
Oh, I read you, Uncle Frank,
too controversial, huh?
163
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,531
Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
164
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,232
[humming]
165
00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:33,061
Now remember, when the judges
are looking at you, smile.
166
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:36,630
- Okay.
- But don't smile too big.
167
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:38,588
[chuckles]
You don't wanna look toothy.
168
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,809
Karen, it just so happens
169
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,376
that many great women
have been toothy.
170
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,857
Mom's right.
Look at Eleanor Roosevelt.
171
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:50,208
Exactly! And how many
beauty contests did she win?
172
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,255
You're right, Karen. None.
173
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,386
She was wasting
her time helping
174
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,433
the poor and downtrodden.
175
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,391
Well, I'm not gonna
make that mistake.
176
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,351
- Carol? Carol?
- 'Yeah?'
177
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:03,874
Where do I go
to get an application
178
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,223
for the mother-daughter
beauty pageant?
179
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,704
- At the Lodge. Why?
- I've decided to enter.
180
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,837
Oh! Great!
181
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,926
I've been trying
to talk her out of it.
182
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,623
Mom, could you
be more supportive?
183
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:14,798
This pageant is important to me.
184
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,408
Since when?
185
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,759
Since I found out
that I'd be struttin' my stuff
186
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,935
for a room full of single men.
187
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:24,591
Well, let's boogie.
188
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:25,766
[chuckles]
189
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,381
Okay, mom.
Let's work on your posture.
190
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,209
Oh, Karen, come on.
191
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,167
Let's stop talkin'
about our looks
192
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,734
and concentrate
on the talent competition.
193
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,258
Now, what are your talents?
194
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,173
I can French braid my own hair.
195
00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,219
Whoa, forget the Mallard Lodge
196
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,134
let's take you
straight to Broadway.
197
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:49,920
No, Karen,
I was thinking that you and I
198
00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,400
could do tap dance
number together.
199
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,445
You used to take tap
when you were little.
200
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,709
- But, mom, I'm rusty now.
- Oh, you'll be great.
201
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,145
Now, you just watch me
and copy what I do.
202
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,929
You remember the time step,
right?
203
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,149
Okay, just start
with your right foot, okay?
204
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,978
[scatting]
205
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,025
Okay? Now, you try.
Five, six, seven, eight.
206
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,945
Hey, mom, I've got an idea.
207
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:18,079
Maybe, while you tap, Karen
can French braid your hair.
208
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,137
- Hi.
- Hi.
209
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,750
Smile. They're judges.
210
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,362
Not so toothy.
211
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:44,584
Excuse me. Do you know
where the ladies' room is?
212
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,760
Yeah, I saw a sign
right down that hallway there.
213
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:49,240
Oh, thank you.
214
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:50,981
Mother, what are you doing?
215
00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:52,896
You're helping the enemy.
216
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:54,768
Oh, I'm sorry, Karen,
you're right.
217
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,247
Maybe, we should go spy on them.
218
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,510
Find out what kind
of make-up they're using.
219
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,121
Good idea.
220
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:06,562
[sighs]
Ooh! Oh, excuse me.
221
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,085
Aah, if all
this year's contestants
222
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:09,913
are as gorgeous as you
it's gonna be tough
223
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,175
to declare a winner.
224
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,264
Well, thank you.
225
00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:16,746
Ah, and you have got
a beautiful smile.
226
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,487
Yeah? It's not too toothy?
227
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:21,229
Oh, not at all.
228
00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:23,448
I like a woman
with a healthy set..
229
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,624
...of teeth.
230
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,277
[laughs]
231
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:29,237
Yeah, right. Well,
if, uh, you'll excuse me, uh..
232
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:30,673
- Howard.
- Howard, yes.
233
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,892
I'm gonna go
fill out these forms.
234
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:33,502
Oh, a mere formality, you se
235
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:36,287
uh, I'm one of the judges.
236
00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:38,028
You already got my vote.
237
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,248
Don't you think you oughta
see the other contestants?
238
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,380
I'd rather see
a whole lot more of you.
239
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,426
- Uh, look, I'm married.
- Oh.
240
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,123
It doesn't bother me
if it doesn't bother you.
241
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,299
Well, it does bother me.
So, cool it.
242
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:51,607
Oh, how can I stay cool
when you look so hot?
243
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,609
Well, maybe this will help.
244
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:55,785
Oh!
245
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:07,623
Mother, that man was a judge.
We're gonna lose the contest.
246
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,581
No, we're not, Karen,
because I quit.
247
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,106
Mother? Ugh!
248
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,811
[instrumental music]
249
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,338
Just stop it, Karen.
250
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:28,600
Mom, I'm pleading.
251
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:29,732
I'm begging.
252
00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,778
I'm whining.
253
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,823
You can't quit the pageant.
254
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,738
You didn't hear
what that judge said to me.
255
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,305
- Uh, what's goin' on?
- Oh.
256
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:40,134
One of your brother Mallards
made a pass at me.
257
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:43,441
So then mom totally lost it
dumped water all over him
258
00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:46,923
and if that weren't bad enough
she quit the pageant.
259
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:50,100
- Well, who was it, hon?
- Some jerk named Howard.
260
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,623
Oh, Howard Gordon.
261
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,582
Honey, nobody takes him
seriously.
262
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,453
He's a harmless flirt. Now..
263
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,151
What did he say
that was so terrible?
264
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:58,718
He said he wanted
to see me naked.
265
00:11:58,805 --> 00:11:59,893
He's a dead man.
266
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:03,374
Frank! Stop it!
267
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,681
Nobody talks to my wife
like that.
268
00:12:05,768 --> 00:12:08,728
You're right.
The judge was way out of line.
269
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:12,557
But, mom,
I have to win. Please.
270
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,517
This is the most important thing
that's ever happened to me.
271
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:18,259
[sighs]
Oh..
272
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:21,088
If it means that much to you,
I'll stay in the pageant.
273
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,003
Oh, thank you, thank you.
274
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,831
But if that Howard
tries anything else
275
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,528
I'm setting Frank loose.
276
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:27,572
[grunts]
277
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:32,229
Just listen to me.
Winning isn't everything.
278
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,144
It's not worth
sacrificing your dignity
279
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,799
and self-respect for it.
280
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,627
Spoken like a true runner-up.
281
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,809
Oh, here it is, Uncle Frank.
282
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,289
[chuckles]
This is the project
283
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,378
that's gonna make me a Mallard.
284
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:53,381
And it's made out of one hundred
percent Wisconsin cheese.
285
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,297
Ha!
286
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,345
A duck made out of cheese.
287
00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,957
- Yeah.
- Oh, boy.
288
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:06,829
Cody, you're a genius!
289
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:09,614
Hey, I prefer the term
"Cheese Whiz" myself.
290
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,487
Cody, your silhouette.
291
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:14,054
[chuckles]
Yeah, I know.
292
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,925
Hey, and I want you all
to come out to my van
293
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,492
and have ice-cream
and celebrate.
294
00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:18,885
Well, do you have
enough for everybody?
295
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,322
[sighs]
I have six gallons.
296
00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,759
Well, see, I was gonna make
the duck out of fudge ripple
297
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,066
but my hands kept
freezing up, you know?
298
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,241
[chuckles]
299
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:32,550
[instrumental music]
300
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,914
And now, finally
the mating call
301
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:49,524
of the Mallard Drake.
302
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,396
[quacking]
303
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,188
[Cody]
Yeah.
304
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,103
Cody, that was
a great mating call.
305
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:06,628
If I were a female mallard
I'd be smokin' a cigarette.
306
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,195
- 'Just do your part.'
- 'Okay.'
307
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:12,112
And now, my initiation project.
308
00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:15,724
Which I like to call,
my initiation project.
309
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,816
[quacking]
310
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:24,776
Whoa! Gnarly head wound.
311
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,041
- Is this some sort of a joke?
- Uh, uh, no.
312
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,173
Uh, no,
your exalted featherness.
313
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:31,914
Of course not.
314
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,655
What fledgling Cody was trying
315
00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:35,962
to say is that, um, um
316
00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:39,443
until man is accepted
into Mallard membership
317
00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,706
uh, man is i-incomplete.
318
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:44,492
Uh, you know,
form without substance
319
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:48,409
uh, a metaphorical duck
flapping his wings
320
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:50,367
in a, a flockless void.
321
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:54,937
I said all that?
322
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,113
Hey, I knew
about the flockless void
323
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,289
but, boy, where did I get all
the rest of that stuff?
324
00:14:59,376 --> 00:15:00,638
[chuckles]
325
00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:02,814
Y-yeah, and it's made of cheese.
326
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,078
Wait a minute.
327
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,515
Bring food to a meeting?
328
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:11,127
That's a great idea.
329
00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:14,783
All those in favor
of making Cody a Mallard
330
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,089
quack "Aye."
331
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:19,048
[quacking]
332
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:33,367
Today, I am a duck.
333
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,894
[quacking]
334
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:44,378
[instrumental music]
335
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,655
Mom. Mom? Mom?
336
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,018
[Cody applauding]
337
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:20,327
[instrumental music]
338
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,766
Wasn't that i-interesting?
339
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,637
Let's hear it
for Penny and Ivy Baker.
340
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:29,075
[applauding]
341
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:33,340
And now, to end the talent
portion of our competition
342
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:36,082
it's my privilege
to introduce the talented
343
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:39,128
the lovely Carol Lambert
and her daughter Karen.
344
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,304
[applauding]
345
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:44,264
[piano music]
346
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:47,658
[tapping]
347
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:48,746
[music continues]
348
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,966
[tapping]
349
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:01,716
♪ He was a famous trumpet man
from out Chicago way ♪
350
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,979
♪ He had a boogie style
that no one else could play ♪
351
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,764
♪ He was the top man
at his craft ♪
352
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:09,158
♪ But then his number came up
and he was gone with the draft ♪
353
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,813
♪ He's in the army now
a blowin' reveille ♪
354
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,816
♪ He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B ♪
355
00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:17,036
♪ A-toot a-toot
a-toot-diddleyada-toot ♪
356
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,951
♪ He blows it eight-to-the-bar
in boogie rhythm ♪
357
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,128
♪ He can't blow a note
unless the bass and guitar ♪
358
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:24,739
♪ Is playin' with him ♪
359
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,958
♪ He makes the company jump
when he plays reveille ♪
360
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,049
♪ He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B ♪
361
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:31,789
[tapping]
362
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:34,792
[applauding]
363
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,430
♪ A-toot a-toot
a-toot-diddleyada-toot ♪
364
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:06,607
♪ He blows it eight-to-the-bar
in boogie rhythm ♪
365
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:08,652
♪ He can't blow a note
unless the bass and guitar ♪
366
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:11,220
♪ Is playin' with him ♪
367
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:13,788
♪ He makes the company jump
when he plays reveille ♪
368
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:17,183
♪ He's the boogie woogie
bugle boy of Company B ♪♪
369
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:20,142
[applauding]
370
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,893
Well, now the moment
we've all been waiting for.
371
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,590
The finalists in this year's
372
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,766
Mom and Miss Mallard are..
373
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:38,769
[piano music]
374
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:42,121
Thank you, Chelsea.
375
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,081
Doris Winters
and her daughter Arlene.
376
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,170
[applauding]
377
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,086
And Carol Lambert
and her daughter Karen.
378
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,088
[applauding]
379
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:59,225
Now, now, to determine
the winner in this competition
380
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,531
each teenage contestant
will give a speech
381
00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:04,621
about what being
Miss Mallard means to her.
382
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,493
We start first with Arlene.
383
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:08,103
[applauding]
384
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,020
I would like to win
the title of Miss Mallard
385
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,630
because the Mallards
have a strong tradition
386
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:14,849
'of community service.'
387
00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:16,372
Hey, beautiful.
388
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,069
You got it all sold out.
389
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,637
All you gotta do is,
uh, go out with me this weekend.
390
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,465
- What?
- Well, you heard me.
391
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:26,034
You go out with me and, uh,
I'll swing the vote your way.
392
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,818
And if I don't go out with you?
393
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,472
Well, aah..
394
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,561
...then you can kiss
Miss Mallard title goodbye.
395
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:36,871
Thank you.
And may the best girl win.
396
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,873
[applauding]
397
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:43,921
And now, it's a pleasure
to introduce our next contestant
398
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:46,446
because she's my stepdaughter.
399
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:47,577
Karen.
400
00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:50,537
[applauding]
401
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,626
Thank you.
402
00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:55,150
I'm honored to be here tonight.
403
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,979
As a future supermodel..
404
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:01,156
...I would be proud to have
Miss Mallard be the first step
405
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,506
on my runway
to fame and fortune.
406
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,862
Actually, I'm not proud..
407
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,083
...I'm ashamed.
408
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,477
Ashamed of myself
and of this pageant.
409
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,088
I think you all should know
410
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:22,133
that two of
the three judges here
411
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,789
have behaved in a way that give
beauty pageants a bad name.
412
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:28,531
The other day,
that sleazebag Howard
413
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:31,099
'made a pass at my mother.'
414
00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:32,753
And just a moment ago
415
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,321
that junior sleazebag hit on me.
416
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,367
He said the only way I could win
417
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:39,934
is if I went out with him.
418
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:45,592
I would love to win this pageant
419
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,290
but my mother taught me
that nothing is worth the cost
420
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:50,945
of my self-respect and dignity.
421
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:53,295
If I can't win fair and square
422
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:55,123
then the title of Miss Mallard
423
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:56,951
loses all it's luster.
424
00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:02,696
So, as difficult
as this is for me
425
00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:04,785
I'm withdrawing
from the competition.
426
00:21:04,872 --> 00:21:06,439
[crowd gasping]
427
00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:09,006
Foul!
428
00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,402
[chuckles]
Whoa! What?
429
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:14,969
Fowl? Duck? Get it?
430
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,710
[chuckles]
431
00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,364
A-anyway, foul.
432
00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:22,977
I'm ashamed
of my fellow Mallards.
433
00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:25,414
These judges
have acted abdominally.
434
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,634
Now..
435
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:29,636
...I think we all let
the audience decide who wins.
436
00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:31,942
Huh? Come on. What do you say?
437
00:21:32,029 --> 00:21:32,987
[applauding]
438
00:21:33,074 --> 00:21:34,293
Carol, come on out.
439
00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:37,078
Doris, Arlene.
440
00:21:37,165 --> 00:21:38,732
Alright then, by your applause
441
00:21:38,819 --> 00:21:41,474
should the winners be..
442
00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:42,692
Doris and Arlene?
443
00:21:42,779 --> 00:21:44,651
[applauding]
444
00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:48,785
Or Carol and Karen?
445
00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:50,744
[cheering]
446
00:21:51,745 --> 00:21:53,094
We have our winners.
447
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:55,270
This year's
Mom and Miss Mallard
448
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,359
Carol Lambert
and her daughter Karen.
449
00:21:57,446 --> 00:21:59,492
[applauding]
450
00:21:59,579 --> 00:22:01,450
[piano music]
451
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,286
Uh, Howard, can I speak
to you for a minute?
452
00:22:12,461 --> 00:22:13,941
Hey, you too,
junior sleazebag.
453
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,551
Hold it right there.
Where are we going?
454
00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,510
It doesn't matter.
You won't remember it anyway.
455
00:22:17,597 --> 00:22:20,469
[applauding]
456
00:22:34,048 --> 00:22:36,659
[music continues]
32354
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