Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

World, space, the final frontier.

Hey, Galileo, whatcha doing?

Looking for your home planet?

No, we're just scopin' out the universe. Ha-ha.

- Hey, I think I see Saturn. - Are you sure?

Well, it's got yellow rings. Check it out.

Cody, that's McDonalds.

No way. They opened one up on Saturn? Tcha.

Those dudes are everywhere.

[chuckles]

[theme song]

[screaming]

♪ The dream got broken ♪

♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪

♪ What would be the future? ♪

♪ Could you pay the cost? ♪

♪ You wonder ♪

♪ Will there ever be ♪

♪ A second time around? ♪

♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪

♪ When the tears are over ♪

♪ And the moment has come ♪

♪ Say My Lord I think I found someone ♪

♪ You know it will be better ♪

♪ 'Cause you're puttin' it together ♪

♪ For the second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ It will be better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Big day. My little girl's taking her SATs.

I've made a great breakfast for you.

Bacon, eggs, toast, oatmeal, muffins--

Mom, it's a college entrance exam.

You don't get points for being bloated.

Oh, but you have to have a good breakfast.

This is an important test.

No, no, no. Not important.

Critical, essential, vital.

Dana, relax.

At least have a muffin.

You'll get a good score.

Good? Good is for losers.

I need great.

Otherwise, I won't get into an Ivy League school

and I'll just be another uneducated nincompoop

who is a drain on society.

You know, like Frank's kids.

Is that a no on the muffin?

- Goodbye, mother. - Okay.

Just remember...relax.

[groans]

- Carol? Carol. - 'Hmm.'

That's it. I have had it.

Everybody in this house is taking my clothes

without asking my permission

and I'm gettin' real tired of it.

This keeps up, I'll be walkin' around here butt naked.

I have no problem with that.

Buck.

Mm, now, come on, honey, this is serious.

I just looked in my closet and all my sweatshirts are gone.

My Packers sweatshirt, my Brewers sweatshirt--

Frank, Frank, I'm sure they'll turn up.

Hey, dad.

Hey!

What's the big idea of taking my sweatshirts

without asking my permission?

It's not your sweatshirt, dad, it's mine.

No, it's not.

Then how come I found it in my closet?

Here's my theory. You're a thief.

Hi, mom. What's for breakfast?

Honey, that's my dress.

Ah, I mean, it's my sweater. I-I-I..

Get her, dad, she's a thief. Show no mercy.

I can take care of this, thank you.

- 'Karen, you can't go in my..' - Let's go, let's go.

Wait a minute, get-get back here, you guys!

I know where you live!

Karen, you do know that this is Frank's sweater.

Yeah, cool, huh?

Karen, you don't even like my clothes.

Yes, I do. Just not on you.

On me, they look great.

Carol, say something.

Karen, you look great.

Thanks, mom. Oh, Frank.

Do you have a denim shirt?

I have no idea.

Well, if you don't, can you get one?

I have a date on Friday, and I know I'd look great in it.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Hi, I am Dana Foster.

I'm here to take the SAT.

How nice for you. We give SATs here.

Oh, I get it.

You're just trying to loosen me up

'cause I'm nervous.

Actually, I'm just here for the overtime

and I really don't give a hoot about your emotional state.

You're one of the thousand points of light, aren't you?

No way, dude, it was gravity the whole time.

Hey-hey, Dana.

What are youdoing here?

And don't tell me it's to take the SAT.

Whoa, that was gonna be my answer.

I'm kinda stuck now.

I don't get it.

Why would a guy who blows up

stumps for a living, wanna take the SAT?

Well, you see, once a month, I try to do something

that I've never done before.

Like last month, I ate nothing but peaches for an entire week.

By the way, that is not a good idea.

Thanks for the tip.

Thanks. You're pretty good at this, huh?

Hey, pretty cool, huh?

You, me, sitting right next to each other.

Almost like we're in a drive-in movie.

Only, there is no movie.

And we're not in a car.

And it's daylight outside.

- And, you know, we-- - Cody.

This test is very important to me.

So, just do me a favor and leave me alone.

You got it.

♪ Get your motor runnin' ♪

♪ Head out on the highway ♪

♪ Looking for adventure ♪

♪ And whatever come.. ♪♪

No way. Was that out loud?

[instrumental "Born To Be Wild"]

Come on, the coast is clear.

I don't feel good about stealing Frank's clothes.

I'm gonna get caught. I always get caught.

I think I'll save some time and turn myself in now.

Listen, you little wuss, you're a witness.

- You can't back out now. - And what if I do?

We'll kill you and bury you in the backyard.

Let's pick 'em clean.

You think he'll notice if I take his red jacket?

Please, how will he know?

[alarm blaring]

Oh, no, he wired it!

Every man for himself!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, you don't!

Okay, you little rag pickers, from now on

anybody who wants to borrow my clothes

has to ask permission first.

Great! Can I borrow your red jacket?

No.

Anybody else?

- You made your point, dad. - Good.

[beep]

Here you go, Frank. I borrowed these.

You borrowed my boxer shorts?

Yeah, all the girls are wearing them now.

We just stitch up the fly.

That explains the little timing problem

I had with the plaid ones last week.

Okay, go, go, go. Go on. Get, shoo..

[instrumental music]

Hardback. Hardback.

Hardback. Paperback.

Paperback. Paperback.

[gasps] Uh-oh!

Somebody put a mystery

in the travel and leisure section.

Was that the mailman? I thought I heard the mailman.

Was it the mailman?

Honey, I know you're anxious about your SAT scores.

But it's only been three weeks.

I'm not anxious.

I just have a healthy curiosity.

I thought it was the mailman.

Okay, everybody, mail's here.

Give me that!

Bill, bill..

Here we go, SAT!

Dana, would you mind reading your mail somewhere else?

- Sure. - Yeah.

Well..

Well, well, well.

[chuckles]

- I got a total score of 1270. - Yes!

1270? Dana, that's great.

- It's okay. - Okay? Okay?

It says here that your score

puts you on the 91st percentile.

Do you know what that means?

It means if you were walking down the street

and you passed a 100 people

you would've done better than 91 of them.

Well, I guess it's not such a bad score.

Hey, is the mail here?

I'm expecting my George Hamilton home tanning kit.

No, no tanning kit today, Cody.

But your SAT scores are here.

Oh, you mean you get a score?

[Cody] Cool.

- So, Codeman, how did you do? - I don't know.

Oh, is a 650 good?

[scoffs] A 650?

A 650?

Dana..

Okay, okay.

Cody.

Here is what a 650 means.

Say you're walking down the street

and you pass a 100 people?

You probably did better than seven of 'em.

But don't feel bad, Cody.

How many times in your life are you gonna pass

a 100 people?

Well, thanks, Uncle Frank.

At least I got a 670 on this other part.

What other part?

- You said you got a 650. - Well, yeah.

I got a 650 on the verbal

and I got a 670 on the math.

See?

Are you saying you got a 1320, total score?

Ah, yeah, okay. Yeah.

Give me that.

Cody, you got a 670 on the math, that's awesome.

Yeah, yeah, well, Dana's the real math whiz.

I mean, she figured out that 1320 business just like that.

This is insane.

I got beaten by a guy who thinks

there's a McDonalds on Saturn.

I don't get it.

Allow me to explain.

If you pass a 100 people on the street..

...nine of them would've done better than you.

And one of them would've been The Codeman.

Oh!

[instrumental music]

- Hey, Uncle Frank. - Hey, Code.

Want a little watermelon?

No, thanks, Uncle Frank, I'm too perturbed for fruit.

Peaches actin' up on you again?

I wish it were that simple.

Cody, what's the problem?

I thought you'd be happy getting such a great SAT score.

Pfft. How can I be happy?

I mean, if I am as smart as that test says I am

I gotta re-examine a few things.

I think we all do.

Face it, Uncle Frank, I'm a condemned man.

I mean, hey, I know it's unfair

but when people know you have a brain

they just naturally expect you to use it.

And this bothers you?

Bothers me? Huh, it's a nightmare.

I'm gonna have to give up demolition.

I'm gonna have to make some major contribution to mankind.

Like be a scientist, or a doctor, or..

Oh, please, Uncle Frank, don't let 'em make me

a brain surgeon.

I'll do my best, Cody.

And that can be my contribution.

Thank you, Uncle Frank.

Come on, mom, hurry up. Let's get going.

Where are you going?

To buy a book of practice SATs.

Dana is having a little difficulty coming to terms

with her scores, so..

And this is the really sick part..

She insists on taking them again.

And you are taking it again, too.

I refuse to believe that a cheesehead like you

can do better on this test than me.

She doesn't do gracious well.

What do you think, Uncle Frank?

Should I take that test again?

That's your call, Cody.

I wouldn't make a decision like that for another man

till I've walked a mile in his shoes.

Well, if you think that'll help..

But I wouldn't walk more than a mile in that left one.

It's got a nail in it.

[instrumental music]

Come on, mom.

How long does it take to add up

a couple of SAT scores?

Stop bothering me or I'll take off

points for rudeness.

Boy, is she strict.

Okay, here they are.

Dana, you'll be happy to know

that you got a total score of 1350.

1350? Yes!

Justice prevails.

Eat my dust, Codeman. Hah!

Dana, you really shouldn't gloat.

After what I've been through

I think I have earned the right to gloat.

No, Dana, I mean

you reallyshouldn't gloat.

Cody, I have no rational explanation for this.

But you received a total score of 1400.

What?

Fourteen hundred?

I did better.

[sighs]

Oh, no. It's like my brain has a mind of its own.

I don't believe this is happening to me.

You mean Ling-Ling here still did better than me?

I'm afraid so.

Well, who cares about the stupid test anyway?

Oh, sure. How do you think I feel?

I'm the one who's stuck bein' a brain surgeon.

Well, I wouldn't take up golf just yet, Cody.

Oh, great. Now I gotta learn how to play golf, too. Tcha.

"Lincoln Elementary School. Honor roll."

Big deal.

"Fifth grade. Dana Foster is an extremely gifted child."

- Hah! - Dana, what are you doing?

Throwing out all the lies I've been fed all my life.

Look at this, second grade. Straight A's.

- What a crock! - Dan.. Come on, Dana, stop.

Mom, Cody scored 50 points better than me.

- Cody! - I understand, but--

Co...dy!

What difference does it make what Cody got on his SATs?

All that matters is what you did, and you did very well.

"Very well" isn't good enough.

Not for somebody who's been getting straight A's

since the first grade.

When it comes to school, I have to be the best.

- Why? - Because...I have to.

It's who I am. I..

Karen is the pretty one. I am the smart one.

Actually, I always thought Mark was the smart one.

Perfect, I've no identity at all.

Yes, you do. You are Dana Foster.

You are a smart girl.

But not the smartest girl in the whole world.

And you're a pretty girl.

But not the prettiest girl in the whole world.

Is this supposed to make me feel better?

Honey, you are just putting too much pressure on yourself.

And if you keep this up, you're gonna drive yourself crazy.

What are you saying? I shouldn't try to do my best?

No, you should try to do your best.

But just stop trying to be perfect.

Nothing is perfect.

I don't know where you got the idea

that things could be perfect.

- From you. - Me?

Mom, you alphabetize the soups.

Well, they-they're easier to find.

You iron my underwear.

Well, in case you're ever in an accident..

...it would reflect on both of us.

Mother..

Okay. Okay, you're right.

You come by honestly.

But would you do me a favor, hmm?

Just ease up and accept

that your very best is good enough.

Because it's more than good enough for me.

[mellow music]

- Are you straightening my hair? - No.

I am.. Well, I-I, I was.

But I'll, I'll work on it.

[instrumental music]

[sniffles] Ah, cool.

- Hi, Cody. - Hey.

- Are you still mad at me? - No.

I was never really mad at you, I was just mad at myself

and I was taking it out on you.

Oh, I know how that is. Ha-ha.

One time, I was workin' on my motorcycle

and I couldn't get it started.

So, I kicked it.

And it started.

Cody, what does that have to do

with what we're talking about?

I don't know. What're we talkin' about?

I don't know why I'm doing this, but here.

I brought you a gift.

It's a Langley College catalogue.

Oh, man.

That's right, I have to go to college.

Ha-ha. Bummer.

What's wrong with going to college?

Well, I have to give up demolition.

And I love demolition, it's a great job.

I mean, nobody gets mad at you for wreckin' stuff

because your job is wrecking stuff. Yeah.

So, keep your job and just take a class or two

to see how you like college.

No way. That's how they get you hooked.

You take one class and you do well in it.

Before you know it, they're saying

"Tsk, Dr. Codeman to surgery.

Dr. Codeman to surgery, please."

Tcha.

Cody, nobody is saying

you have to be a brain surgeon.

In fact, I'm begging you not to.

But, with test scores like yours

you should at least give college a shot.

Think of it as an adventure.

Like that peaches thing.

Yeah, I guess it couldn't be any worse than that.

- I mean, by day three, I was-- - Cody.

Please, no details.

Alright, get in. Sit down. Sit.

Don't say a word. I wanna talk to everybody at once.

Carol! Karen! Mark! Come down, please.

- A family meeting. - What's going on?

I think he's mad 'cause someone took his stuff again.

- What's wrong, Frank? - I'll tell you what's wrong.

After all my complaints, after my security measures

somebody is still taking my things without my permission.

And I'm going to ask a very direct question.

I want a very direct answer.

Where are my sunglasses?

[instrumental music]

Thank you.

You rolled off for me?

You're gonna die for me?

[exhales]

[grunts]

You're gonna die for me.

[instrumental music]