Original subtitles

Did you remember your notebooks today?

Nobody?

I remembered!

Okay, so today we'll be talking about fertilization.

Well, fertilization is the moment in which the sperm,

and there are many of them--

Here are sperm that swim towards the female egg.

Jessica, did you bring your workbook?

Yes.

Good, at least you have that.

Once again, my class is interrupted!

Girls, please study this chapter because you still don't know

what the female egg is.

And also don't forget that next week we have an exam.

Jessica!

Are you coming to my sweet fifteen tonight?

Of course!

My mom didn't have money, for hair and makeup.

Don't worry, my mom used to work at a salon.

I'll help you with all that.

What if she forgets the cake?

Don't worry about those things.

Can you imagine? I'm so nervous, I'm sweating!

Don't be nervous.

Jessica, my father is going to give the speech

and you know he loves speeches!

He'll go on forever and embarrass me.

Your main concern should be looking beautiful!

I'm so nervous!

-Did you invite all the cool guys? -Of course!

Can I talk to you, Jessica?

Sure.

Don't be mean!

What did you want to talk about?

Never mind.

Josue, you have to come to my party tonight!

Can I see?

I have to go. My dad will be mad if I'm late.

Could you come early?

Otherwise, no makeup, no party!

I'll be early, six o'clock.

Bye.

Watch out, you fucking cow!

This isn't a barnyard!

Get the fuck off the car!

Get off the hood, you little shit!

Just drive off!

I'm still waiting for my food.

Hi, dad.

You're late!

The bus was delayed.

Don't talk back!

Go help your mother so we can eat.

-Let me change first. -You're fine. Hurry up!

Hi, dad.

You finally showed up?

Sorry, I got caught up at work.

So you're the only one that works?

Damn, this fucking salt.

Did you say hello to your mother?

She misses you.

It's been a while since you stopped by.

Hello, mom.

Kiss you later, okay?

Since when do you care about mom?

What do you mean, "since when"?

You're the one who should care.

She's always asking for you!

You know you're her favorite.

I'm worried about your sister.

Where the hell is my food?

Hello, Jessica.

Hello, Marco.

Why are you always stressed?

So many problems!

I know things are difficult but....

I haven't gotten paid yet.

And on top of that, this food!

Stop pacing and sit down!

Hey, Jessica.

What?

I heard that people saw you hanging out with Stella.

Did you see me?

You don't even live here. How would you know?

What did you say?

-She's hanging out with Stella. -Who is Stella?

-Mind your business-- -Shut the fuck up!

She's friends with a co-worker of mine.

She's a slut.

I don't want you hanging around with sluts!

I don't want you seeing boys yet.

Get back over there!

Why the fuck are you over here?

Easy, dad!

You'll get an ulcer.

You have no idea what I'll do if you end up pregnant!

I'll kill you!

Easy, dad.

You're pretty!

You're not made for scum!

Are you listening to me?

Look at me!

You're better than that!

I don't want you mingling with kids from our neighborhood!

You can do much better.

You have to study. Be a professional!

Not like us!

Get over here!

And get that lipstick off your snout!

That's how they all start.

First lipstick,

then they're jumping on every guy!

Wait, Jessica. This is for your own good!

I told you I'd be here.

But you're late! Look at the time.

I'm here, aren't l?

These two also came late.

We've been here a long time. You're just nervous.

This is how I'm going to do your hair.

Do you like it?

-Yes? -Yes, yes, yes!

I'll put some makeup on you too.

Later can you do my hair too?

Sure, if you help me with mine.

Hurry up!

The party's starting soon!

Ouch! Bitch, that hurt!

-lsabel, did you invite the seniors? -Yes, the whole school is coming.

That's going to look so pretty.

Don't be nervous!

You'll be the prettiest one tonight.

Jessica, don't forget you have to do my hair.

But I'm fixing your hair.

Well, you can brush my hair, and she'll do the bun.

Isabel, you look so beautiful!

Really?

Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the guest of honor.

Put your hands together for our brand new debutante,

Isabel Lopez Villarroel!

Along with her proud father, Mr. Pedro Lopez Burgos.

Now she joins her friends,

and classmates.

Today a dream comes true for lsabel, her family and friends.

Thank you very much.

I want to thank my family

and the friends of my little lsabel

for coming here tonight to celebrate her sweet fifteen.

I want to thank you all for coming to my humble home.

And above all,

I want to thank my sister-in-law, Asuntita, for donating the cake.

My brother Pepe Lucho,

for donating the rings,

and for lending me the tables and chairs from his diner.

I can't let this opportunity pass without thanking my dear wife

for her devotion and the decorations.

And I'd like to ask you all to applaud,

for today my daughter,

becomes a woman.

A dream comes true for our brand new debutante.

Congratulations, lsabel!

On behalf of your friends and family

who love and appreciate you

we wish you a happy birthday.

And now I would like to invite

all of lsabel's friends

to join her on the dance floor.

Good evening, ladies. Thank you for coming.

Let's go get them, guys.

Easy! Easy!

Get your fishing poles ready!

You guys are fucked, I already found mine.

Okay, let's see. We don't need you anyway.

No.

I won't do anything. It's just to get to know each other.

Come sit next to me.

Come on.

Don't be afraid.

What's wrong, baby?

Don't be afraid of me.

Are you scared?

It's nothing, just relax.

What's wrong?

Don't you like me?

I like you a lot.

Don't be afraid, baby. Nothing's going to happen.

We've been waiting for your cousin for 20 minutes.

-Wait, he'll be here soon. -We cut class for nothing!

-It's worth it. My cousin's cool. -Oh, my cousin, my cousin!

-Don't be a jerk. -Then stop kissing his ass!

You brag about him so much.

-Who does he look like? -I know all your family.

Because if he looks like you....

Come on, all your friends are crazy for me!

Don't pretend you don't know.

They've arrived. Keep your eyes open.

You sure you'll recognize him?

It's been 12 years!

Excuse me, are any of you Fabian?

That's me.

-Finally! Good to see you. -How have you been?

Hi, I'm Sebastian.

What's up, Sebastian?

Don't break him!

So, you're the famous Colombian guy!

You're just like your cousin described you.

This is Joaquin and Camila.

Look at him!

-So, where is my aunt? -She's at home.

Let's go, guys!

Easy! I'll take care of it.

Easy, dude. Easy!

Okay, cousin. This is it.

You're here!

This is not Bogot�.

Colombian boy, this is where life begins!

You'll drink, you'll meet women....

You're in the best city in the world.

You have no idea what you're in for.

Here in Santa Cruz, there's places to go and shit to do.

Whenever you want!

Forever!

What do you guys do here?

Everything. We hang out every day.

Your name's Joaquin, right?

What's that over there?

Those are like ornaments for dumb tourists.

No, cousin. The carriage symbolizes the culture....

Shut the fuck up!

Santa Cruz is all about fun, alcohol, and women!

You don't need to know all that other shit!

You guys drink already?

Check this move out!

It's a traditional motion with us.

It's mechanical. Your arm does it naturally.

So, you're up for a good time?

Yeah, but don't worry, guys. I don't really go out much in Bogot�.

Why not?

Because it's dangerous, and my mom doesn't let me.

Oh, mommy wouldn't let him!

Here you have no mommy. This is not Bogot�.

Here it's dangerous not to go out.

Cousin, you're here with me now.

We have wheels. It's drinking time.

How old are you?

Fifteen.

Dude, he's fifteen!

Yeah, with the body of a 12-year-old.

How many chicks you have?

What's that?

Chicks, girls, pussy, bitches!

Oh, I have one girlfriend.

-Oh, he has one girlfriend. -Just one?

If you keep talking like that here, you'll get one beating!

I have an idea for us to warm up our engines.

How about some brewskies?

Yeah, dude!

Stop by Don Lucho. He'll give us a good deal. He knows us.

Listen to her, she's a regular!

Let's stop by the liquor store.

Get the fuck off, dude!

I just washed it!

Get the fuck off the car!

-You little shit! -Just drive off!

Fuck you!

And they leave it even dirtier!

I just washed it!

He probably scratched the hood!

Look who's there, Dante!

He's our friend.

Jump in, faggot.

What's up?

The life of the party is here!

So you're the life of the party, huh?

Yes, and you know it.

Give me a cigarette.

This is my cousin from Colombia, smell!

Smell?

You farted, motherfucker!

No, I mean he smells like coffee!

-What were you doing by yourself? -I was going home.

Why didn't you skip class with us?

You motherfuckers didn't tell me!

Don't worry, we've got plans for tonight.

Can we go home soon?

No, dude, we're going to Burger King.

We'll go around another time, so people notice us.

You say hi to everyone and pretend you know them.

You know what?

He's a foreigner, so he'll get all the chicks.

I want a woman! I'm horny!

Bitches! Here I come!

I'm all yours!

Get the fuck off me, dude!

Stop goofing around!

-People are looking. -Oh, he doesn't want to be seen!

Look! The life of the party humps everybody!

Fucking faggot!

Why don't you guys get a room already?

I don't understand why you keep standing sideways.

Stop teasing him.

-Don't pay attention. -He's an idiot!

-I'm going to kick your ass! -They'll start fighting again.

-I'm sorry, grumpy! -Let's introduce him to girls.

So what chick do you like?

Just tell us which one you want to fuck.

Yeah, just choose!

What about the blonde down there?

Oh, man, the blonde!

We ask him to choose, and he chooses the best one.

-Don't even look at her. -You know what, bro?

You've got no chance in hell with that one.

They're both too snotty!

Her boyfriend is an asshole! Error.

-He's rich, and he'll kick your ass. -He's popular and shit.

-So what? He's with us. -And you're Mr. Macho Man?

Check her out, guys.

-She's dead. -I love this fucking song.

-Where are you coming from? -School and you?

We came from school, can't you tell?

I'm with a couple of friends, and this guy from Colombia.

You want to meet them?

Sorry, girl, you know Choco. If he sees me, he'll kill me.

-Some other time. -Okay, bye.

Bottom's up, bottom's down, cheers to the fucking Colombian!

You have to finish it straight.

Come on, man!

Come on!

Oh, man, he's drunk already!

Okay, let's get more!

Hold on, I'm going to buy cigarettes.

So, listen, this is the best club in Santa Cruz, MAD.

I call it the cemetery, because I always bury my thing here.

And do they let you in?

Don't worry, our friend Chichito will hook us up.

He's fucking loaded!

The good thing about MAD is that older women come here,

and the older, the easier.

Speak of the devil!

This is Chichito. Motherfucker.

Look what he brought!

Fucking show off.

-Dude, what a car! -And it's brand new.

His father bought it for him three days ago.

The motherfucker doesn't know what to do with his money.

-When I make a promise, I keep it. -What's up, dude?

-All right, guys, no excuses. -Let's drink like there's no tomorrow!

Okay, let's go to MAD.

What do you mean, "MAD"?

Why don't we go slumming instead?

You told us you were going get us into MAD.

There's a sweet fifteen we can crash. What's "slumming"?

It's like hooking up with easy girls from the slums.

You make out?

Of course!

You promised me we were going to go to MAD.

No, fuck that, let's go slumming.

You guys are fucking horny all the time.

Fabian, you're not going to leave me, right?

You have my cell number.

I'll be back in a couple of hours.

Don't worry. Dante, you're in charge.

Fabian, how am I getting home?

Fabian, please!

We're coming back, don't worry.

Fabian, listen!

Your cousin is a son of a bitch!

-Fabian, please! -Cousin, don't you worry!

Fabian, you said we were going to go to MAD!

We came together, we leave together!

Don't be a hypocrite! Please, Fabian!

Let's go in, fuck it!

But how am I going to get home?

Who cares? We'll take a cab or something.

What's up with that face, dude?

Cheer the fuck up!

Man, Santa Cruz is fucking awesome!

Did you see how in two seconds l had my snake surrounded by pussy?

Did you have a good time?

Yeah, but how are we getting home?

I have no clue, bro!

If they don't show up soon, we'll have to walk, because I'm broke.

Do you know where my cousin lives?

Of course, dude! He's my buddy.

These motherfuckers are going to fucking hear me now!

This is the last time I go out with them.

You know your cousin is a fucking hypocrite!

What's up, yo?

Asshole! He thinks he's all that because he has a car.

What were you saying?

As I said, I don't go out much, but this was groovy.

Groovy, groovy!

Look, there they are by themselves. Losers!

Those fuckers are here.

What's up, faggots? Jump in.

Did you see these two losers, by themselves?

I bet they didn't even get in.

We did get in, and I bet you we had a better time than you!

You think we can't get in without you?

We did get in and we had a blast.

Where's my cousin? Where's Fabian?

You got to hear about your cousin.

I was fucking this girl

when I realized Fabian is kissing some girl,

and he was like, "l love you, I want to marry you, I'll protect you.

I'll take care of you and your family."

He was so crazy about her that I had to lend him my car.

And you know how hard it is for me to give away my car.

He was begging me!

All right, so he stayed. Can you guys take me home now?

We'll take you home eventually, but not now. No fucking way!

The night is just starting!

When the sun comes out, maybe we'll take you home.

I have a little surprise for you.

Check this out!

I bet you this was Joaquin's idea.

Of course!

Fucking A!

What are you going to do with those eggs?

-You'll see. You're in for a treat. -Put this shit back, this stinks.

You're going to love it.

This is the only place on the planet where you can do this.

What are you going to do?

You'll see.

Sebastian, you haven't seen fun yet.

-We'll show you. -This is an orgasm, bro!

-It's nothing less. -At least take one.

Trust me, you'll love it!

-What do I do? -You just do as we do.

-Come on, guys. -Let's control ourselves.

-I'm not throwing any. -At least one.

Come on, dude! Don't be a faggot! No, seriously.

Go fast, because these motherfuckers have stones.

Just one, Sebastian.

Here we come.

Get ready. Throw one. Do it!

I'm not doing it!

-You fucking cocksuckers! -Take these up your ass!

-Fucking faggots, you should learn! -Cumsuckers!

-Motherfuckers! Assholes! -Fucking dick lovers!

-ldiots! Assholes! -Ass lickers! Fucking faggots!

Motherfucker!

Why did you throw it like that? You should have thrown harder!

You wasted the eggs! You ruined the fun!

No, but....

But what? We have to get rid of those motherfuckers.

Goddamn people!

They shouldn't be allowed to be there.

I want to go home.

Oh, he's scared!

I bet you haven't been deflowered yet!

-What? -You haven't been deflowered yet!

-What's that? -Virgin!

He's even afraid of faggots!

-No, I'm not a virgin. -What did you say?

I'm not a virgin.

Then what are you laughing at?

He's a virgin.

If you're not a virgin, then let's go get some pussy!

Let's go. He's a virgin.

He's lying.

-Okay, I'll buy you a hooker. -Fucking A!

Just him though. You already got laid.

Whatever. I don't give a fuck. My dick is dead now.

-Seriously, guys! -Today you'll get broken in!

You're going to fuck and try the taste of Bolivian pussy!

-Chichito, please don't go. -Your jerking off days are over!

-You're an old man now. -You can fuck and fuck and fuck.

-But I don't want to. -Hurry up, dude!

Okay, all set. I got you the best one.

-You paid her already? -Yeah, it's all set.

-Just stick your little dick in! -Hurry up! She's waiting.

Guys, don't do this to me.

-Don't be a faggot! She's waiting. -Just fuck her!

Dante! Please....

Go in, or I'll fucking throw a stone at you!

-You're going to become a man. -Enjoy it!

What's your name?

Sebastian.

And you?

Clemencia.

-Okay, Choco. What do you think? -Good, right?

Now you're ready to go to the United States?

-I can't wait. -I can imagine.

How long are you staying over there?

I'm staying until summer. I'll be back in June or July.

-What are you studying? -Civil engineering.

I wish you all the best, my friend.

I don't forget old friends. I'll bring you back a hot "gringa"!

Great! Thank you! I wish you the best. Bye.

Hi, my love, How are you?

Yeah, yeah, I just got out of school,

Yeah, I'm on the street,

We're going to cruise around and then we'll go to Burger King,

No, a little longer,

Fine. Okay.

Hey, don't forget to buy the newspaper.

You came out really handsome!

Okay, honey. I love you. Bye.

-Hurry, we only have 1 0 minutes! -Okay, we'll fly.

So, what are we doing tonight?

I have the fashion show tonight.

Choco's going to kill me. I haven't told him about it yet.

Oh, fuck it! I can't just not tell him!

-Chill out! He ain't your husband. -He will be my husband.

Guess what? He proposed!

How cute!

So you're getting married now?

What an idiot!

You really believe that?

What do you mean by that?

Girl, it's been a year and a half.

Anyway, what are you wearing tonight?

Look at her! Isn't that Choco's cousin?

She's not. Don't be an ass! Shit! You're mean!

Check out her outfit! Oh, and those sandals!

Not even my maid would wear those sandals! Please!

Oh, my God! I feel sorry for her.

She's so clueless!

Look at the one sitting there. Look at her!

You missed her.

Look at her watching us!

-Okay, girl, let's cruise the scene! -Forget about Choco.

Shades up or down?

-You're going to look, right? -Of course.

Are we still on for tonight? Early as we planned?

Seven-thirty, eightish, right?

Do you remember

the RiGO BoSD fashion show we talked about?

What about it?

It's tonight.

Tonight? So, you're not going out with me?

No, I just have to be there. I have to run the catwalk.

There's no way you can skip it?

I have to be there until midnight.

I can't believe you!

Don't get mad!

Just like that time for my mom's birthday!

All that fashion shit just to get noticed!

I'm sorry about your mom's. That was a year ago!

Are you going to say, "I'm sorry," again?

But, Choco, it's not my fault!

Is it mine?

It's not mine either!

You just told me you were leaving tomorrow!

I forced you to do all this shit, right?

You know how much I hate you being involved in this shit!

The one thing you give a shit about!

You don't give a fuck about anyone else!

Until midnight? You'll be modeling for four hours?

I'm the top model in the show!

-Are you the only one? -Not the only one.

Back and forth for four hours?

Then tell me, what should I do?

Don't yell at me.

-I am not yelling at you! -Lower your voice.

The same goes for you!

And on top of everything you tell me to shut up!

On top of what?

Don't yell at me then. I'm not yelling.

There is no way to talk to you.

And no....

Never mind!

You know what?

It's better if we both chill.

I'm leaving tomorrow, so....

I don't know if I should go with you tonight.

Of course I want you to come. I want to be with you all night.

Why do you always have to find a way to piss me off?

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

With a big round of applause from you all, let the show begin.

Ladies and gentlemen,

introducing, Love!

Top Model for RiGO BoSD, women's collection.

RiGO BoSD, presents their evening wear collection.

Hi! What have you been up to?

Look how much you've grown!

I can't believe it! Where have you been all this time?

Look at her! She's loving it!

I haven't seen you for so long.

Just look how big you are!

I can't believe it.

Hey, you fuck! Don't you realize this woman is mine?

What's wrong with you, you shameless fuck?

Easy, man! Easy!

Want me to kick the shit out of you?

-You fucking fag! -What's your problem, man?

-Come here, you fucking pussy! -I'll fucking kill you!

-Come here, then! I'm not afraid! -Choco, calm down!

Who's that motherfucker?

How can you do this to me? This is my party!

Bitch! Right in my face!

He almost fucking French kissed you!

Get the fuck out of my sight, you fucking whore!

-You're crazy! -Get a grip, you asshole!

Get the fuck out of my face!

I don't want to see or hear you!

Get lost! Get Lost!

-Calm down, Choco! -Don't fucking touch me! I'm leaving.

-No, it's not going to end like this! -Calm down sir!

I'm leaving.

Come back! You're not going to leave me here like this!

-Asshole! -Let him go.

I told you a thousand times, he's an idiot!

-Calm down, please! -This is so embarrassing!

I know! Everybody's here.

Breathe! Take a deep breath.

So, relax, Claudia. This is the perfect place for you.

-Good, because I've had it. -I need a break.

-Check those guys out! -Yeah, we need some time off.

We shouldn't have to put up with our husbands all the time.

Look, Choco!

-Finally, he shows up! -It's about time.

-How you guys doing? -Good.

So, she finally let you go, huh?

-At the end of the night. -You know, I do as I please!

Dude, you got to catch up!

Miss, another whiskey, please.

And you guys sitting here as usual with no pussy around.

Yeah, right, let me show you!

Those three women were over here earlier.

And that Brazilian woman is the best one here.

Isn't that the Brazilian wife of...?

Yeah, she's married. That's the only problem!

Don't worry. I'm not jealous.

Are you kidding me? You can't pick her up.

I'll pick up any one you want. You just point her out.

-You're full of shit! -I bet you can't make out with her.

-What do you want to bet? -A case of beer.

-Damn, you're cheap! -Then what do you want to bet?

-A bottle of whiskey. -Okay, a bottle of whiskey.

You can't chicken out.

You have to make out with her here.

If you fuck her later, that's your business.

You can feed your snake later.

-Okay, watch me! -Let's see.

-He won't be able to do anything. -She's married.

Look at her. Somebody finally got lucky tonight.

Hi.

I'm Choco. What's your name?

Marianna.

I'm Maya.

What are you up to?

Having a little fun.

-You have a very beautiful friend! -We're taking her out for the night.

I noticed you have an accent. Where are you from?

I'm Brazilian.

You speak Portuguese? That's great!

She's quick. We come here every week, and nothing.

Oh, Belen has beautiful beaches. I'm studying here.

-How nice. -Yeah, I speak, but with an accent.

-I can understand you perfectly. -Maybe we can practice together.

Do you want to dance with me?

Yeah, but I don't know about this music.

I can teach you if you want.

When you go to Brazil, I'll teach you.

This time it's my turn.

Great! Thanks!

-You go in front. -And you stay behind.

Fucking asshole!

Nice cock, buddy!

Bastard!

Fuck you, faggot!

Why am I carrying your shit? I'm not your bitch.

That's what I brought you for.

Don't be a jerk, dude.

Leave the suitcases here. They aren't open yet.

They'll open in minutes.

-What do you mean? -We have to wait minutes.

Then why did you wake me up so early?

The ticket says we have to be here two hours early.

-You always do this shit. -Two hours early....

-This is not my first time traveling! -Calm down.

I'm nervous just like you.

Ma'am, you can use my belt if you'd like.

I'm going to have to, because this kid has no respect for me.

Look how he talks to me. Even on our last day together.

Hide the alcohol! Look who's coming.

-How are you? -What a night, huh?

Did you feed the snake?

Guys, tell your jokes later.

Now I need you to help me advise this child.

Son, please, when you get there,

don't leave your suitcases unattended.

They might get stolen.

Mom, I'm not a 10-year-old!

Don't forget to tell him about AlDS.

Yes! I've been telling him all night.

Don't sleep around without meeting their parents first.

The last thing I want to see is you coming home with AlDS.

Mom, they're pulling your leg!

-ls that right? -We'd never do that to you, ma'am!

You're the one who isn't serious.

And on top of everything look who's here!

Oh, God, I predict lots of crying!

Too bad I didn't bring an umbrella!

And your aunts aren't here yet!

Don't even think about calling them now!

I'm going to call them and ask them to come.

-I don't want anybody to come! -Don't talk to me like that!

What nerve!

Hey, Choco, don't you go telling her about last night.

They must be coming, because they're not picking up.

Okay, ready. Oh, the surprise!

What did you do this time?

Don't tell me she got you to do something!

Wait. I'll get it.

-What did you do? -Nothing. We're innocent.

You know I hate these scenes!

Let the bash begin!

You can't see anything!

Fucking A!

Welcome to the world of real men!

-Congratulations, dude! -You're a real man now!

What the fuck? What's up, man?

-Are you okay, bro? -Just give me a second.

Are you all right?

-Come on, we'll take you home. -Wait until he gets better.

What happened there?

Let's go, Mr. Real Man.

-Dude, don't make fun of him. -I'm not making fun of him, asshole!

-Shut the fuck up, guys! -Can't you see he's upset?

-What the fuck is your problem? -We all forced him to go fuck!

It's over, man!