All language subtitles for Score A Hockey Musical

[foot steps]

� O Canada! �

� Our home
and native land! �

� True patriot love �

� in all thy sons' command �

� With glowing hearts
we see they rise �

� The true North
strong and free �

� From far and wide �

� O Canada, �

� we stand on
guard for thee �

� God keep our land �

� glorious and free! �

� O Canada, �

� we stand on guard
for thee, �

� O Canada, �

� we stand on guard for thee �

Here I come,
Gump.

Just to let you know, I'll
be going around to your left.

Oh!

And...
Through your legs, Stan!

And, oh my goodness!
Was that a no-look,

shoulder flip,
behind the back,

around the stick...
He scores!

That ain't so hot.

You talking to me?

Suppose I am.

Well,
just so you know,

there's no smoking
on the ice surface.

It's a public place.

Yeah,
that's right.

Yeah,
put it out.

Hey!

What was that all about?

There's no need
for violence --

especially when
playing sports.

Well, I'm confused.
'Cause rumour has it,

you're supposed
to be pretty good.

I wouldn't know
anything about rumours.

He's home-schooled.

He lives kind of
a sheltered life.

Shut your mouth,
marginal member of society.

Whoa...

Look, I got fifty bucks
that says I can take you

and the first
one to ten wins.

I don't gamble.

And I ain't askin'.

I could give you
fifty bucks, Farley.

Last night I hit the
mother lode in empties

and I am flush.

�

� My home rink, �

� your puck �

� You're foolish and I'm
going to school you, chump. �

�

� Yeah,
good luck. �

�

� How much more
perfect can you get? �

�

� Stick on the ice,
puck in the net. �

�

� One, two, three, four! �

� In a row,
how many more? �

� Five, six, seven, eight! �

� Is this your first
time on skates? �

� That makes nine,
one more makes ten �

� Fifty bucks! �

� Who's getting drunk again! �

� I've seen the
greats on skates �

� From the Great Slave Lake �

� to the
Great Lakes States �

� Yeah, great story,
has-been, pay up. �

� I know just what it takes. �

� If it weren't for
a few mistakes, �

� I could have been
in the NHL �

� Aw,
like hell! �

� Are we supposed to
believe that baloney? �

� You'd be lucky to
drive a Zamboni!�

� Seriously, I know
what I'm talking about. �

� I know there's a fifty,
you better pay out! �

� It was worth it and
I rise above it. �

� It was an honour
to play you. �

� Shove it! �

Looks like the
Sherpa training's

starting to pay off.

Hey,
Eve.

Hey
Farley.

So how was
practice today?

We have a new
player in the group.

Marco is a virtuoso

who just arrived
from Milan.

I've never heard
anyone play so well.

It makes me feel like

taking my
mother's advice and

signing up for
medical school

when I hear
someone that talented.

Eve, you can't
let your dream

of making the symphony
die just 'cause some

hotshot from Italy
comes into your backyard

with some fancy moves.

Listen to you with
your sports metaphors.

For a second there I almost
thought you were a jock.

As if.

�

� Eve and I have known each
other since we were two �

� Our parents met at a
fundraiser for Desmond Tutu �

� She moved in next door
at the age of three. �

� That we would be best
friends was destiny. �

� We're best friends
through thick and thin. �

� Both home-schooled
weirdos �

� that could never fit in. �

� Best friends through
thick and thin. �

� When I was five I threw up
on her colony of ants. �

� Farley once made
me laugh so hard �

� that I peed my pants. �

� She knows all my secrets. �

� There's nothing to hide. �

� He knows all my secrets �

� except one that I hide. �

� We're best friends
through thick and thin. �

� Both home-schooled
weirdos �

� that could never fit in. �

� We're best friends
through thick and thin. �

�

� Easy with each other
like second skin. �

� We're best friends
through thick and thin. �

�

� Eve's my best friend
in the whole world. �

� It's never mattered
that she's a girl. �

� Farley's my best friend
in the whole wide world. �

� He's got the sensitivity
of a girl. �

� Best friends
through thick and thin. �

� Best friends
through thick and thin. �

� Best friends
through thick and thin. �

� Best friends
through thick and thin. �

�

� Eve's my best friend
and it's chronic. �

�

� Farley's my soul mate. �

� He thinks it's platonic. �

�

We have some wonderful news,
Farley.

As part of your geography and
social sciences curriculum,

we're trekking
across Chechnya

for six weeks.

Lunch was great.

Aren't you studying
this afternoon?

The ice is perfect right now.

I think I'm going to go to
the rink for another hour

and then hit the
books afterwards.

Yet another advantage
of being home-schooled.

�

� We've been through
this before. �

� You're free to walk
out the door. �

� But I think it
needs to be said, �

� too much hockey's not
good for the head. �

� Parents,
your worries are in vain.�

� Playing shinny will
not rot my brain. �

� In fact, study after study
has conclusively proven �

� the benefits of
exercise-induced movin'. �

�

� Look at the temperature
it's colder than Venus. �

� You'll get frostbite
on your -- �

Toe.

� I'm wearing my
organic wool sweater �

� so I'm good to go. �

�

� Though physical activity
is a worthwhile tonic. �

� The clientele at the
rink is rather moronic. �

� Elitism about
sports aside, �

� even Einstein,
over the ice �

� he liked to glide. �

� Oh,
where's our Farley? �

� The boy that we adore.
Where's our Farley? �

� Why's he always
skipping out the door? �

� Where's your Farley?
He loves to skate and score. �

� Where's your Farley?
He'll be back for dinner. �

�

Come on.

You're going to make
your granddad late.

I don't want to
go to daycare!

Well,
you're going.

Aw, get up,
you little bastard.

Come on.

Granddad,

go screw yourself!

Uh...

Walk away,
Walter.

Just walk away.

� Beethoven's Ode to Joy �

Hey,
son!

You talking to me,
sir?

Yeah.
What's your name?

Farley Gordon.

It doesn't ring a bell.

How old are you?

Seventeen.

Who owns your rights?

Sir, there's a little kid
attached to your leg.

And I don't have any idea
what you're talking about.

Yeah,
it's my grandson.

There's hope we can
domesticate him one day.

So who do you play for?

Nobody.
Never have.

What?
Why not?

My parents don't believe
in team competitions.

What are they,
communists?

Ah, not in the
classic sense, though.

They're kind of more
like pacifist-anarchists,

although I'm sure they'd deny
even that categorization.

You mean to tell me
you've never played

an organized game of
hockey in your life?

That's right.

Just whatever games I can
pick up here on the rink.

Well, son, my name
is Walt Acorn.

I'm the owner of
the Brampton Blades.

I want the chance to sit down

with you and your parents

and talk over your
future in hockey.

I'm not sure I understand.

If you could do half of
what I saw you do today

in an organized game,

you could be
the next Sidney Crosby.

Cindy who?

We don't speak athlete
in this family.

And we have
no desire to sign

Farley up for hockey.

And what with his
pottery classes

and his volunteering
at the museum

and his much-anticipated

hands-on
anthropology course--

Throw in the all-things
Chechnya extravaganza

to that equation and--

It's obvious
there's no time for

organized team
hockey in his schedule.

Wow!

This conversation
just laid a giant turd

in the shallow end
of the stupid pool.

So... I take it
we're done here.

Thankfully,
yes.

Unless, of course,
you'd like to hear

another of
my folk songs.

� Hugs are free. �

� So hug away. �

� Hugs, hugs, hugs. �

� Hugs are free. �

Well, that's a definite
Kumba-Nah there, toots.

Son,
you know,

I've been around hockey
over sixty years.

This is the first time I've
ever had to tell someone

they're making a
huge mistake...

You're making
a huge mistake.

Put on your
big boy pants,

carpe life
by the balls.

You have a gift.

�

What's wrong,
Farley?

You've been on
Planet Glum all morning.

Okay.

I want to give
organized hockey a try.

Team sports?

Really?

Maybe my id is
out on a day pass

but it's all
I can think about.

And let me guess.

Your parents think the idea
is more inherently evil

than
genetically-modified food

and organized
religion.

Yeah.

�

� Farley Gordon, you should
always follow your heart. �

� But everyone knows
that hockey's not art. �

� I've never been to camp �

� or even played on a team. �

� I've never been
away from my parents. �

� And you're
seventeen. �

� I'm seventeen. �

� He's seventeen. �

�

� Eventually we all have to
cut the umbilical cord. �

� What if I don't fit in?
What if I get bored? �

� Embrace the Zen mindset for
this part of your journey. �

� Quit if you find
group sports unworthy. �

�

� So you think that
I should join. �

� Should I give it a shot? �

� What have you
got to lose? �

� So why?
So why not? �

� So I'll join the team
and I'll give it a shot. �

� So you'll join the team.
So you'll give it a shot. �

� Yeah,
I'm seventeen. �

� I might like it a lot. �

� Yeah,
you're seventeen. �

� You'll probably
like it a lot. �

� And by doing so we can �

� advance the plot. �

� Plot, plot, plot. �

Call this a
mother's intuition,

but this has
Neanderthal and

ne'er-do-well
written all over it.

I promise I won't do anything
to not make you proud.

Interesting.

Double negative.

Like hockey
and violence.

Please.
I'm going to Brampton,

not Bosnia,
okay?

I'll be back by dinner.

Goodbye,
Farley.

Goodbye.

Love you.

Did you ever play
hockey, Edgar?

�

Figure skating
was my world.

Agh!

And since then
I've had a hatred

for all things hockey.

Come on,
let's go now!

To your left! Get on him!
To your left!

Lookin' good!
Lookin' good!

Hustle, hustle, hustle!

Make those passes count!

Let's go!

Skate!

Let's go now!

This is a closed practice.

Well, actually, I'm here
to play on the team.

What?

Excuse me?

Ah, was, I was asked
to join the team.

By who?

"Whom."
It's actually "whom."

It's the object of
the preposition.

I don't care if it's the
ass-end of a 12-point buck.

Answer the question.

Walt Acorn.

You know that
the last nugget

that Walt Acorn
unearthed for me

played in only
one single game.

Why,
what happened to him?

Stopped a slap shot
with his tonsils.

Broke his jaw
in four places.

Do yourself
a favour, son.

It's not too late.

Bust that sequined
unitard out of the closet,

sharpen up
those toe picks

and rejoin the
figure skating squad.

Trust me.

They'll welcome you
back with open arms.

I'm here to play hockey.

Oh yeah?

We'll see
about that, peacock.

Don't say I
didn't warn you.

This should fit.

Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

Is that right?

Not unless
you're a dick face.

Not like ladies,
like men!

Go after it, guys,
go after it!

Up against the boards.

Something wrong with
your balls, son?

No,
just the...

equipment's a little
uncomfortable.

Don't worry, you won't
be wearing it that long.

You!
Give us Bailey and Apps!

Let's see you,
peacock.

�

That's cute,
twinkle toes.

Want to go again?

Yeah.

Ferguson,
McNamee!

Let's see you,
kid.

�

The Moose.

�

Ugh!

Boom.
Boom. Boom.

Out go the lights.

Aristotle?

That's a first.

What happened?

Well, you ran into a brick
wall named The Moose.

I bet they heard
the hit in Mumbai.

Hey!
Hey, boss!

We in the
hardware business?

Sure feels like
I'm getting screwed.

You can't be serious about
letting that kid play.

You saw what he did with the
puck 'til he got flattened.

That won't
happen again.

One game,
regular shifts.

If he's not as good
as I think he is,

do what you want.

Come on, Walt. He's going
to get killed out there.

Last time I checked,
I still own the team.

Pfft...

Farley Gordon.

Ah,
there you are.

Great meeting you,
sprout.

Now, if you want
any information

on joining
our booster club,

you'll find it on
our web site. Here.

Here's a T-shirt.
Thanks for coming out.

So that's it,
I'm off the team?

Well,
not technically.

But I figured
getting knocked out,

that would be enough to
convince you

that these are very,

very dangerous waters

that you're
lily-dipping in.

Sir,

do you ever have
those epiphany moments

where all of a sudden
the world starts making

a lot more sense?

Occasionally,
a good bowel movement

will have that effect.

Yeah.

Well..

this might sound
stupid, but...

before Walt Acorn
walked into my life

there was a hole,
a longing that

I couldn't articulate
or, rather,

I didn't even know existed.

But I honestly believe
that organized hockey

might just fill that hole.

� What do you weigh,
kid? �

� A buck fifty-five? �

� I'm not that vain.
I'm not into my size. �

� There are other
games that are more �

� appropriate
for you to play - �

� Like checkers,
like chess, and croquet. �

� Well, I've always
been taught �

� to see things through. �

� To my heart...
always be true �

�

� Hallmark, I'm sure,
would be so proud �

� to hear you voice those
sentiments out loud. �

� But a well-played fart
would knock you down. �

� If The Moose meant harm, �

� you'd be in
a hospital gown. �

� This is the toughest
league in the land. �

� You'll never survive
so become a fan. �

� Just because I still
have my front teeth, �

� don't assume
that I can't compete. �

� Though I might not come
with a hockey pedigree - �

� Why can't I still
dream of being �

� the next Crosby? �

� You never played the game. �

� No one even knows your name. �

� Hockey legends
don't happen overnight. �

� It takes a bunch of years �

� and a bucketful of tears. �

� And to put you in
the game is suicide. �

I can't kick
you off the team

and I won't protect you.

And when you're
lying in a coma,

don't say
I didn't warn you.

Technically,
if I'm in a coma

I wouldn't
be able to speak.

One game.

Doesn't Mr. Acorn's opinion
count for anything?

I mean, obviously,
he saw something in me

that he thought
worth giving a shot.

He's legally blind
without his glasses.

Yeah. No way.

My guess he wasn't wearing
them when he discovered you.

You didn't notice anything
strange about his behaviour?

How long have
you owned a dog?

�

Tomorrow's game
starts at two.

Don't be late,
tough guy.

I don't have to tell you
guys what this game means.

The Devils...

dirty cheap-shot artists
who wouldn't hesitate

to rip out their
mother's heart,

sell it on eBay
for a minimum bid

if it meant two points.

Which is...

..precisely why
they're in first place!

Where's your passion?

A mouse!

You mean this?
The common mus musculus.

Get it out of here.

Game time!

Let's go, guys.
Come on.

Let's go.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Who pooed
on your shirt?

Yeah!

�

Yes!
Yes!

Mess him up!

Hit 'em high.
Hit 'em low.

Make him sing soprano!

�

It's like Dante's
Inferno down there.

�

You missed
the introductions.

�

What could have
caused all this?

� Hockey without fighting �

� is like Kraft Dinner
without cheese. �

� It's still pasta... �

� but the palate,
it won't please. �

� Violence in sport? �

� Isn't this supposed
to be fun? �

� The boys are
letting off steam. �

� They're not
hurting anyone. �

� La-dee-da-dee
Da-dee-dada �

� Jab, jab! Hook, hook!
Kidney punch! �

� La-dee-da-dee
Da-dee-dada �

� Jab, jab! Hook, hook!
Kidney punch! �

� La-dee-da-dee
Da-dee-dada �

� Jab, jab! Hook, hook!
Kidney punch! �

� La-dee-da-dee
Da-dee-dada �

� Jab, jab! Jersey pull!
Kidney punch! �

�

� Haven't seen so
much gore since the �

� Off-Broadway
production of Macbeth. �

� At least Farley
wasn't involved �

� in all the fracas. �

� This is all
starting to feel �

� less innocent,
I confess. �

� You've led
a sheltered life, �

� from what
I can surmise. �

� But on the ice, �

� the rules of
society don't apply. �

� Cast your
worries aside, �

� is my advice. �

� 'Cause this game
is the start of �

� the rest of your life. �

� organ �

[announcer]
It's Friday in Blades country.

And today's tilt against
the Duntroon Devils

is set to be a doozy

and not just
because the Devils

are Public Enemy #1
in these parts.

But because in an
unprecedented move in

Ontario Major
Hockey League history,

a player is set to make his
organized hockey debut.

That's right,
folks.

Number 14,
Farley Gordon

has never played
a minute of league play.

Not Midget,
not House League,

not Tyke,
not nothin'!

All right, boys.
Let's have a clean game.

Eat my rectal
cheese, Ref.

You're a dead man walking.

�

Oh my goodness,
that kid has game!

That just obliterated
the record for

fastest goal by a rookie
by about two lifetimes!

Gor-don!
Gor-don!

Gor-don!
Gor-don!

�

Slick,
very slick.

But got to
I remind you--

Keep my head up.
I know.

Move it around, guys!
Come on, move it around!

Ever think of
passing the puck?

Sorry, Coach, I looked.
There wasn't anybody around.

Wow!

A dandy of a debut from
the novice from nowhere.

Four goals,
two assists --

except for the
Hall of Fame,

I have never seen hockey
talent displayed so well.

Farley Gordon, you are
the future of the sport.

What do you
have to say?

Clearly, much smoother
on his skates

than he is in
front of the camera.

Gor-don!
Gor-don!

Gor-don!
Gor-don!

Gor-don!
Gor-don!

Gor-don!
Gor-don!

Gor-don!
Gor-don!

Hey!

Bailey,
need to speak to you.

What was that all about?

Because you're on the team,
Bailey's off.

True, his on-ice
skills might have been

better served to
driving a Zamboni,

but he was like
a son to Coach Donker.

Especially after Bailey
lost both his parents

to a grizzly attack.

Hockey was that damn
orphan's life,

his family.

So that's why the
coach hates me.

So what will Bailey do now?

He'll probably
start pouring beer

on his breakfast
cereals.

Knock up his uglier

than day-old
poutine girlfriend.

One marriage,
two children,

three affairs.

Significant hair loss,
back acne,

weight gain.

And then twenty years
later he will be

unceremoniously laid off
from his miserable job.

The stress of this will lead
to a fatal heart attack

within a week.

But at least death
will free him from

the bitterness he's
felt every damn minute

since that
Brampton Blades jersey

was ripped
from his heart.

But that's
just a guess.

Welcome aboard.

�

� No doubt hockey players �

� descended from baboons. �

� Going by the behaviour
of those goons. �

�

� Okay, I'll admit
that the violence �

� was slightly excessive. �

� The Roar of the crowd was
awfully impressive. �

�

� I've never seen you
look so alive before. �

� Rush of the game
made my spirits soar. �

� My brain was working in
rapturous elation �

� trying to
figure out hockey, �

� the equation. �

� Hockey,
the equation? �

� Hockey, � Hockey,
the equation. � the equation. �

� Hockey,
the equation. �

� The math doesn't
make much sense. �

� I'm shocked... �

� to hear such
utter nonsense. �

� Dad, please I'm just
trying to have fun. �

� I'm not joining the army �

� and I'm not
hurting anyone. �

�

And to finish the
broadcast tonight...

I want to bring you the
story of a 17-year-old

who might just be the best
amateur hockey player

in the country today.

The almost
unbelievable thing is

Farley Gordon has been
playing organized hockey

for exactly one game.

Insiders are already
suggesting that his name

might one day be mentioned

in the same exalted company

as Howe, Orr,
Gretzky or Richard.

I want you to find out
everything you can

about this Farley Gordon.

And I want someone to explain
to me why this kid

wasn't on our radar before.

We pride ourselves on
knowing more than God

about hockey talent in Canada.

Get on it.

�

�

�

Yeah.

Mornin'.

Hi,
Farley.

How was your
third game?

Incredible. Even better
than the first two.

I loved every
minute of it.

Except for the
two bench brawls.

That's fantastic.

Hey, how's the
practicing going?

Things going any better
with Carlo... Mario?

Marco?

Yeah.
A bit.

�

Your playing is...

magnifico.

It's like a voluptuous

Chianti from Arezzo.

It's...

...so un-Canadian.

Well, at least you're
making progress.

I'm glad you
woke me up.

I might have slept
through practice.

But Wednesdays we volunteer
at the soup kitchen.

You're not coming?

Right.

I forgot.

I'm sure Coach won't mind
if I miss a practice.

Does anyone know

where our precious

Farley Gordon might be?

Kid scores nine goals in
his first three games.

Maybe he doesn't
need to practice.

You got a show pony
on your hands, Coach.

Clearly he trots to the
beat of a different drummer.

� Listen,
you dinosaur. �

� There's
no 'I' in team. �

�

� What's the real
issue, Coach? �

� What's making
you scream? �

�

� I don't care if he
can write his name �

� backwards in the
snow with pee. �

� He misses practice, �

� and I question
his sanity. �

�

� From what I saw, the upside
on Farley's stratospheric �

� I've been getting
media requests �

� all the way from Inuvik. �

� However, if you
have a problem �

� with Gordon,
I won't disagree. �

� You won't? �

� I'll find a new coach who
can work with the prodigy. �

�

� La-da-da-da-da-da-da �

� Da-da-da-da-da-da-da �

�

�

Well, my heart goes
out to the other team.

They clearly wanted to win
just as badly as we did.

And then it just
seems kind of unfair

that somebody has to lose.

Am I hearing
what I'm hearing?

You know, I wonder sometimes,
should we just

throw out the scoreboard

and just play
for the fun of it?

Wow.

And then when this Greyhound
player came at me,

I did this thing
called the deke.

I faked to my left,
did a twirl,

went top corner.

Goalie never even
saw it coming.

I have to say,

six games into this little
sports experiment,

I'm really enjoying
the experience.

Wow. Hey,
that's incredible.

And your team mates?
Fitting in all right?

�

�

�

That is awesome!

That is awesome!

Yeah!

�

Farley,

we're teenagers,

we live for whim,
we gorge on irrationality.

And we're
definitely not immune

to losing ourselves
in passion.

Not you and
certainly not me.

No one.

What are you
talking about?

�

Falling so hard for something

that nothing else matters.

Eve...

...there's absolutely
nothing to worry about.

I'll race you
up the steps.

sighs>

� sitar music �

� Ohm... �

� sitar music �

How do you do that?

What?

Control the puck with
your eyes closed?

Oh, it's just a little
bit of metaphysics

I picked up when my
family was staying

in an ashram in India.

Is it possible to teach
me how to do that?

Sure.
Yeah.

Um, On a scale
of one to ten,

how would you rate your
Ohm meditation technique?

My what?

� Ohm... �

�

� Ohm... �

�

� Could this really
be happening to me? �

� I'm becoming part of
a larger entity �

� though I never had any
interest in male bonding. �

� To my team
mates' warmth, �

� I'm definitely responding. �

�

� We've never met anyone
like him before, �

� but he's starting to grow
on us and he can score. �

�

� Impossible question,
but I'll ask anyway. �

� What car would you pick
if you didn't have to pay? �

� Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! �

� One that is
environmentally friendly �

� Has the best conditions
for its employees. �

What?

� I did everything
I could to learn �

� adolescent customs and
the Blades love earn. �

�

How big was it?

� The embrace of the team
started to become �

� a second family
except way more fun. �

� It's amazing the
tricks one can do �

� with a loaded gun. �

�

� Never met anyone
quite like him before. �

� Now he's part of
the team and �

� he's part of the core. �

�

� Is this really
what's transpiring �

� on these bus trips? �

� Whatever happened to
reading Aristotle's Poetics? �

�

� I guess I'm expanding �

� my party tricks. �

�

� Farley Gordon, you're
a star in every way. �

� We're starting to like you
more and more each day. �

�

� Gosh, I think
that turned out well. �

�

� Are you okay? �

� Those needles can
hurt like hell. �

�

� Sometimes when I'm happy,
I start to cry. �

� Does this now mean
I'm finally one of the guys? �

� We all agree that you're
definitely not lame. �

�

� Whoa! �

� Let's save the untoward
affection for the game. �

� We'll race you
to the other end. �

�

� 'Cause, wow,
it feels great �

� to have boyfriends! �

After you're
drafted number one,

that's when our
real work begins.

Now, here's a little
branding 101--

Men's Beauty,
or Men-eauty,

are the gateway products
we use to establish

your pitchman cred
to corporate Canada.

In the Men-eauty world,

"crazors" --
creams and razors --

are the benchmark.

One tastefully-shot commercial
with your shirt off,

your face lathered,

a hottie giving you
that come-hither look,

you blue-steeling
her in return,

they will be begging you

to pimp their product.

But I don't even shave.

I'm going to give you a
piece of advice.

You're about to enter
a world where money

overflows like the
Red River in spring.

In this universe,
RE-AL-I-TY

is just a
four syllable word

that need never
be mentioned again.

Swag!

What's this?

It's the gravy train of life.

Ladle up.

�

I cannot believe there's
an entire magazine

completely devoted to hockey.

Olaf, at work,
gave it to me.

Here, read
about your son.

You think there's
a chance that

we were wrong
about sports?

� Oh, soon the
day will come-- �

Hi,
guys.

�

� Soon I will
seduce them all. �

�

Soar,
Eve.

Set your inhibitions loose.

I'm afraid
I'm going to fall.

Mo, you are with Marco,
concerto master.

Feel the music
in your heart,

in your soul.

Let my impeto be
your inspiration.

Oh!

Oh.

Hey,
Eve.

Hi,
Farley.

Um, Marco, do you
mind letting me go?

ertimento,
my dear.

Marco,
this is Farley.

Farley,
Marco.

Oh, yes,
the ragazzo.

The Italian.

�

What?

Whoa.
What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

Please.

You and Marco looked
really great together.

You're never going
to get me to admit

I have a thing for Marco.

He's not my type.

�

Welcome back to Hardcore
Hockey Talk, everyone.

I'm Steve Kouleas.

More hockey
still to come,

but there he is.

Farley Gordon joins
me on the program.

So much to talk about.

Let's get right to it.

How does it feel to go from
no one to number one

in a matter of weeks?

I don't pay any
attention to that.

I'm just trying to
be a good team mate

and contribute
in any way I can.

The kid speaks athlete
like he's all world!

The hype,
and it is exactly that,

is way overblown.

I mean, I would be thrilled
to make a pro team,

let alone to star on one.

I mean, the only thing
that I can control

is Farley Gordon.

Some critics,
and they

definitely are
in the minority,

suggest that you,
my friend,

might be a little soft.

What's your response?

I don't have one.

I just let my game
do all the talking.

Last question, for fun,
boxers or briefs?

Well,
no comment.

But I will say this,
by tomorrow,

the whole country will know.

Can you believe it?

It's pretty
tasteful.

�

Look!

�

Farley Gordon!

Hey,
easy now.

Everybody will
get their turn.

Man, I love surfing
in your wake.

�

I got to tell you,
folks, Farley Gordon

is certainly exposing
Jean Luc Pierre Henri

as the sieve that he is.

Another three-goal performance
by the rookie sensation.

And, you know,
with each game

the next one is further
cementing his reputation

as the player most likely
to go tops in the draft.

�

Yeah!

Let's go!

Let's go!
Help a brother out now.

Everybody takes a man!

Mess them up!

�

� drumming �

Nice fight there,
peacock.

Do I have the floor?

What?

If I have the floor, I'd
like to defend my pacifism.

It's a decision I came
to after a lot of--

Ha ha!

There's one rule.

One rule only.

When someone is trying
to take your head off,

you don't roll
over on the ice,

cover your ears and
cry like a baby.

You...

hit back!

You...

defend your honour!

Our honour!

At least we were respected
before you arrived.

� Forgive me for asking, �

� for not seeing the light. �

� But what's
so shameful about �

� not wanting to fight? �

� It's part of the game. �

� It's part of the code. �

� When someone challenges
your manhood, �

� you go toe-to-toe. �

�

� But what does that
have to do with hockey? �

� I still don't understand. �

� How do fisticuffs
equate to... �

� being a man? �

�

� On the ice I've always
had your back. �

� If they mess with you,
they get a whack. �

� If that don't
help them comprende �

� the knuckle sandwich
comes into play. �

� You see, I drop the gloves
when it's required. �

� That's the
reason I was hired. �

� I don't make
fancy passes. �

� I right wrongs
by kicking asses. �

� Without me,
most would agree, �

� The game would
devolve into anarchy. �

� Devolve? �

� What does that mean? �

� A brawler on ice,
I won't lie. �

� But away from the rink
I'm a sensitive guy. �

� I'm not afraid to
show a feminine side. �

� In fact, during
"The Notebook" I cried -- �

� Twice!
It's pathetic. �

� All of these duties
I'm happy to perform, �

� But I can't watch out for
someone who won't conform -- �

� To the code! �

� To the code! �

� So stop bending over.
Fight like a man. �

� Just take one swing
and we'll be a band -- �

� Of brothers!
Of brothers! �

� Telling war stories 'til �

� we're a hundred and three. �

� Boys, if I wanted to fight,
I'd join the MMA. �

� But hockey's the game
I love to play. �

� Is he even
Canadian, eh? �

� Why does an
anti-violence stand �

� make me less of a man? �

� In fact, last time
the doctor checked �

� my testosterone
was up to spec. �

�

� Because we eat, �

� we play, �

� we shower together. �

� We go in the corners. �

� We'll be friends forever. �

� And forever. �

�

� By refusing to fight, �

� we can no longer guarantee �

� that around the ice �

� you can skate
with impunity. �

� No one's
expecting you to �

� punch out
someone's lights. �

� Just take a
few swings

� and it'll be all right. �

� But until you do, �

� there's a line
in the sand. �

� You might be
on the team, �

� but you aren't a
part of this band... �

� Of brothers!

Oh,
brothers!

� United we'll be
'til eternity �

� Brothers!
Oh, brothers! �

� Telling war stories 'til �

� we're a hundred and three. �

�

Look, I don't like the fighting
any more than you do...

...but that's not
why I play the game.

Farley, that's
like saying

the KKK are a
swell bunch of guys

except for their views
on African-Americans.

I think you're
overreacting.

Besides, aren't you
proud of how Farley

stood up for himself?

our father and I have
discussed the matter

and we feel it's in
everybody's best interests

if you quit
the team.

Did you ever think that
I might like to be

an active participant

in your little
t�te-�-t�te?

Sarcasm,
it's so teenager-ly.

Farley,
it's cheap.

Yeah.

Well,
so is talk.

�

� Is it me or my
parents who is right? �

� One of us is clearly
not seeing the light. �

� I thought I had it all,
all figured out. �

� Now everything
seems so in doubt. �

�

� Farley Gordon, �

� you should always
follow your heart. �

�

� Yeah, I once
took that advice, �

� now everything's
falling apart. �

�

Play that tape again.

I don't care if you're one
of the greatest players

to ever lace up
a pair of skates --

defend your honour.

Farley Gordon has come out
and said that he's a pacifist?

Ha!

I think that there's
another 'P' word

that is more appropriate.

We'll be back.

See, in Canada, we tend to
like our hockey players

served with a
good helping of macho.

And ever since
your non-fight,

your testosterone-
to-estrogen ratio,

it's been
put into question.

Trust me.

The offers are going
to start coming in

once you kick the
ass in masculine.

�

�

�

If they won't
respect your ideals,

how can you call
them team mates?

Maybe you should reconsider
your friendship.

Honestly,
they're just a little

misguided
about fighting.

I think eventually
they'll come around.

Eve, there's
something I've wanted

to talk to you
about for awhile now.

Of course,
Farley.

I don't know
where to start.

Please don't take this
the wrong way, okay?

Oh, God,
this is embarrassing

but I'm going
to say it anyway.

Being a Blade
has made me realize

just how isolated
I've been.

Like, maybe my parents
are just not as cool

as I once thought
they were.

Farley,
they were vegans,

environmentalists
and Yo-Yo Ma fans

before it
was fashionable.

And now you're
defending my parents?

Whose side are you on anyway?

They reject anything
that even has

a whiff of mainstream

before they
give it a chance.

I am sick of
being different.

What is wrong
with fitting in?

Anyone can fit in.

Different, now that
takes imagination.

Does it?
Or is it a crutch?

Bless you.

Are you wearing
cologne?

Yeah.

And this stuff isn't
even on the market yet.

My agent wants to make sure
that if I do go Number One

there's a scent
that I can stand by.

Farley, I have a severe
fragrance allergy.

I thought you knew that.

Guess I forgot.

You know what
else you forgot?

My birthday.

It was yesterday.

Oh, Eve,
I'm--

I shouldn't have even
mentioned it, Farley.

Honestly,
I could care less.

Birthdays are
overrated anyway.

People change,
priorities shift.

We move on.

Happy Birthday.

May all your
wishes come true.

Marco."

�

Come on,
Mama's boy.

Ow!
Hey!

Leave me alone,
ass-face!

What are you going
to do about it, huh?

Come on.
Come on, kid.

What?

It's a quotation
from Ghandi.

You should look it up.

Damn it!

�

� Farley,
we love you. �

� But this has gone on
way too long. �

� Stop being stubborn �

� and just admit
that you were wrong. �

� Joining the team
was a huge mistake. �

� Huge mistake. �

� It's made you miserable �

� and caused you
to forsake... �

� Your ideals
and your passion. �

� Your inner joy,
inner joy. �

� This behaviour is
making you �

� an ordinary boy. �

� Ordinary boy. �

� An ordinary boy. �

� Ordinary boy. �

�

� Yeah, just whose ideals
were they anyway? �

� What do you mean? �

� I was never asked,
I never had a say. �

� Is this a dream? �

� It's in your
best interests �

� to exercise our
parental rights. �

� And order you
to quit hockey �

� to restore... �

� your inner light. �

Stop!

Stop!

� Stop! I won't hear
another single word �

� about hockey being
boorish and absurd. �

� Ordinary boy. �

� News flash I don't
want to be like you �

� Ordinary boy. �
� when I grow up �

� Elitism and arrogance just
isn't my cup of destiny. �

� Ordinary boy. �

� And now this conversation
is officially off-limits . �

� Ordinary boy. �

� I've had enough of
this nonsense Damn it! �

�

Let Marco be honest.
Your G-string playing --

pure religion.

Marco has written,

how you say,
a regalo?

Oh,
a gift to you

from the passion.

No...
the heart.

To you.

� piano �

� You ask me if I love you �

� and I choke on my reply. �

� I'd rather
hurt you honestly �

� than mislead
you with a lie. �

�

You didn't write that.

Assurdo!
Of course Marco did.

No, you didn't.
It's a Dan Hill song.

My parents danced to
it at their wedding.

They're divorced.

No.

No, no, no,
it is not.

� And sometimes
when we touch �

� the honesty's too much. �

� And I have
to close my eyes �

� and hide. �

� I want to hold
you 'til I die. �

� 'Til we both break
down and cry. �

� I want to hold you �

� 'Til fear in me subsides. �

�

Marco!

Any reason you just
French-kissed me without

getting your passport
stamped first?

Oh,
Eve.

You think Marco does not
know what is going on?

Every time you caress
your cello, please,

you mentally
caress Marco.

�

Marco,

the real estate
of my heart

has already been sold.

Him?

The ragazzo?

He's more him than
you'll ever be.

�

� What is happening to me? �

� Was it only weeks ago
that I was carefree? �

� Life was simple.
Life was easy. �

� Seeing Eve with Marco
made me queasy. �

� I Never imagined that I
would have feelings for her. �

�

� That weren't all chaste. �

� That weren't exactly
all pure. �

�

� Eve's my soul mate. �

� Isn't it ironic? �

� Eve's my soul mate. �

� I wish that it
wasn't platonic. �

�

� You were always the
boy in the bubble. �

� Reality gave,
gave you trouble. �

� So you've got some feelings
for your best friend. �

� Let her know,
the world won't end. �

� Please, Eve's like
a sister to me. �

� These feelings
are creeping, �

� creeping into
impropriety. �

� Last time I checked,
you're not related. �

� Don't deny it.
Don't debate it. �

� Maybe the girl wants
to get freaky with you. �

� Who knows? She wants
to squeeze your bones. �

� She wants to
rub your nose. �

� Boys, thanks for the
female insights, �

� but,
trust me, �

� Eve doesn't want to
turn out the lights. �

� You've got to man up
with your woman �

� and hockey fights. �

� I swear that you'll start
sleeping better at night. �

� Speaking of sleep, �

� I've got
to go to bed. �

�

� Honestly,
Farley, �

� try and get your
ass out of your head. �

Hey,
Farley.

Are you coming to
my recital tomorrow?

I can't.
I've got stuff to do.

But you've never
missed one yet.

You're my
good luck charm.

Well,
I'm sure you'll be fine,

especially with Marco
there by your side.

What's that
supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Come on,
Farley.

I know you
better than that.

Honestly,
nothing.

You two make
a great couple.

� Sarcasm really doesn't
suit you that well. �

� What's with
the attitude? �

� Hey,
what the hell? �

� You say you don't
have any feelings �

� for that
Italian fellow. �

� So why did I catch you
playing tonsil hockey �

� instead of the cello? �

� Farley, you're making
an awful mistake �

� To him, I did not my
heart and saliva forsake. �

� Eve,
I was there. �

� I saw what I saw. �

� The passion was real. �

� The passion was raw. �

�

� What does it
matter to you anyway? �

� What, oh what,
do you want me to say? �

� I won't defend myself
or my reputation. �

� If you're
calling me a liar �

� let's end
this conversation. �

� Fine, if that's
how it's going to be �

� I have nothing more to
add to your hypocrisy. �

� Farley, I don't understand
who you've become. �

� The boy that I once knew �

� is dead and done. �

� The boy that I once knew �

� is dead and done. �

� The boy that I once knew �

� is dead and done. �

�

�

� Back off, buddy!
Leave me alone! �

� What are you going
to do about it? �

� Write a poem? �

�

� I hate this game.
I hate my life. �

�

� If you won't fight,
get off this ice. �

Drop him!

Fight!
Come on!

Hey!
Hit him!

Fight him!

You ready?

� I'm jonesing to unleash
these fists of fury. �

� Rope-a-dope display
of fighting flurry! �

� Let's go! �

�

Get him!

�

� It's on, let's go.
We're going toe-to-toe. �

� It's on, let's go.
We're going toe-to-toe. �

� My goodness! �

� Why did I ever
doubt that boy? �

� This is a watershed moment

� of happiness and joy. �

� With that punch
the sky's the limit. �

� Think I swallowed
my bicuspid. �

� Everything's gone
seriously awry. �

� Oh oh Honey, �

� I'm so sad
I can't even cry. �

�

� Who is this person, �

� this person
in such a rage? �

� I've become a stranger �

� to myself on this stage. �

� It's no excuse. �

� I know that for sure. �

� But being one of the boys �

� held a surprising allure. �

� It's clear that I have
lost myself in this game. �

�

� This person before me
is Farley Gordon �

� only in name. �

�

� These cheers are hollow. �

� They are in vain. �

� Forcing my resolve �

� never to
play hockey again. �

� Where are you going? �

� I want to hug
you with pride. �

� Back where I belong... �

� Outside. �

�

I'd like to
sincerely apologize

to everybody
who supported me.

It's now official.
Farley Gordon,

that teen sensation we've
been telling you about,

well, he has now
announced that

he's quitting hockey.

Ugh!

�

Marco.

My soul has
heavy weather.

Why?
What's wrong?

I ache for
my true blossom.

Please don't
talk about Eve.

No,
is sole Italiana.

But I saw
you two kissing.

Where?

At the
rehearsal space.

Pfft! No, Marco
tried to kiss Eve,

but she spit out
my advance like

wine from the box.

Really?

Even now,
voicing it aloud,

it seems so...

so incredible.

�

� You ask me
if I love you. �

� And I choke
on my reply. �

�

�

� What has happened? �

� Why can't I concentrate? �

� Aristotle is Aris-Notle. �

� Socrates is not
worth the debate. �

� philosophy used to be �

� jet fuel for my brain �

� Now reading a page �

� is positively Herculean. �

�

� Since I quit, �

� the game obviously
holds no allure. �

�

� But for my blues,

� even art doesn't
offer a cure. �

�

� How did I ever
become so vain? �

� Could modelling underwear
be any more lame? �

�

� Eve,
oh, Eve. �

� How I miss her so. �

� But I can't find a way
past our current embargo. �

�

� I try to
remain positive, �

� But I lose hope
she'll be gone forever. �

� I wish she'd
give me a call �

� or send me a letter. �

�

� My world which
once seemed so full �

� of music and light �

� has been reduced
to a monochrome �

� black and white. �

�

� He sleeps all day. �

� He's no longer engaged. �

� My diagnosis: �

� Adolescent malaise. �

� Is there a cure? �

� Anything we can do? �

� Well, hopefully,
he'll grow out of it �

� in a year or two. �

�

Oh,
son.

Farley, we've made a
huge parenting mistake.

All we wanted was for you

to find your inner utopia.

And if hockey
was that utopia then

we should have
opened the gates.

And,
instead,

we threw away the
keys to the kingdom.

Well, you saw what
happened on the ice.

What I did,
what I became.

True,
the violence was ugly

but where we failed
was in helping you

to navigate the nasty,

to sidestep the savagery,

to dance through the dark,

to frolic through
the ferocity

and trounce the--

No,
no, no.

Yeah.

What we're trying to say,
Farley, is we're...

we're so sorry.

�

� I barely remember �

� those weeks that went by. �

� Except for the
constant, irresistible cry �

� of the ice urging
me to come skate. �

� But I made my decision �

� I sealed my hockey fate. �

� However,
my resolve, �

� which once
seemed so strong �

� started to waiver �

� as my exile dragged on. �

� I'm the addict
tempted by vice. �

� Too weak to resist
the lure of the ice. �

�

� Has hockey corrupted
my very soul? �

� It was always a game �

� and never a life goal. �

�

� Am I dreaming?
I must be asleep. �

� Why is Walter Gretzky
on this rink? �

�

� The power of hockey �

� works in mysterious ways. �

�

We're here
to see you past

this miserable phase.

�

� We all know hockey's the
best sport on the planet. �

� Theo Fleury's singing, �

� What can't he do,
damn it? �

� Play your own game.
To thine own self be true. �

� Don't let a couple
of punches... �

� defeat you. �

� 'Cause hockey's
the greatest �

� game in the land. �

� You've got the goods
to be your own man. �

� 'Cause hockey's
the greatest �

� game in the land. �

� Time to change the plan. �

�

� Could they be
onto something? �

� Could they be right? �

� I'm starting to see
this whole world �

� in a different light. �

� Maybe just maybe, �

� it's more heroic to play �

� To search my soul,
to find a new way. �

�

I should have
guessed it was you.

Hey,
Eve.

I didn't realize that
the window was open.

You know, it's not
great for the environment

to waste all
that heat, right?

I can't shut my radiator
off, David Suzuki.

What do you want?

�

� Eve �

� dear Eve
I've come to apologize �

� for being insensitive. �

�

� For putting
on a guise. �

�

� There's... �

� There's one thing
that I need to confess. �

�

� You're more
than a best friend. �

�

� You're a goddess. �

�

� Because we've
known each other �

� from infancy, �

� well, you've
always seemed like �

� a sister to me. �

� So when I began
to see you �

� in a more romantic light �

� All those feelings I tried �

� so valiantly to fight �

� I was afraid of
what you'd conclude �

�

� That you'd think my
love was, well, rude. �

�

� Oh no, �

� maybe she's a prude. �

� Farley! �

I've had a crush
on you for ages. �

�

� How did I
miss that feeling? �

� It's so obviously
contagious. �

�

� Now I understand
just how Marco �

� fits into the mix. �

�

� Let's make
one thing clear �

� I only like men who
skate with sticks. �

�

� You're the most
beautiful girl �

� I've ever seen �

� You're everything
I've wanted �

� You're this girl's dream �

� There's just
one more thing �

� to add to this refrain �

� I've decided to
play hockey again. �

�

� You,�

� It's always been you �

� It's always been you �

� It's always
been you �

� It's always
been you �

� It's always
been you �

�

� You're not upset
With my choice? �

� Of course not.
Hockey's your muse. �

� Hockey's your voice. �

� Please just promise �

� that to your own self
you'll remain true �

�

� Funny,
that's what someone else �

� said I should do. �

�

Mum, Dad,
wake up!

Oh. Death?

Where's the dog?

Who?

The dog.
Where's--

Listen...

I'm going to play
hockey again.

Respect, courage, heart!

So I don't care
how tired you are,

we play two-way
hockey tonight!

When your man
skates up to you--

What the hell
are you doing here?

Coach, I'm here to
rejoin the team.

Last time I checked,
you quit because

the rough stuff offended
your sensibilities.

So I hate to break it
to you there buttercup,

but we still don't do
delicate in this league.

I think you're oversimplifying

the argument considerably.

Coach...

�

Can I say something?

�

Really?
Right now?

�

� After you quit, �

� we had a team meeting. �

� Behind closed doors, �

� in spite of my pleading �

� When you left the ice �

� on the brink of tears �

� It broke
something in us �

� that had been
building for years. �

� We took an objective
look at our behaviour. �

� Asked some more questions
as to who's not in favour. �

� As the way of the fist as
a game's divine right �

� And proving
your manhood with

� how well you could fight. �

� I swear we channeled
the spirit �

� of Oprah in that room. �

� The catharsis was awesome. �

� Especially for
this goon. �

�

� But, Farley, our conclusion
never changed the fact �

� That if you can't dance,
we can't watch your back. �

� Though we all agreed
pacifism has a place �

� Just not in hockey �

� 'cause we'll
all be disgraced. �

� Actually, I might have
another way we can embrace.

�

� My name is Farley Gordon
And I don't like to fight �

� My name is Farley Gordon �

� Let's have a
clean game tonight �

� His name is
Farley Gordon �

� He's showing
us a new light �

� Though we might not
all agree that �

� his philosophy
is actually right. �

�

� Get off this ice unless you
want to feel my wrath �

� Back off. Let him try
to forge a new hockey path �

� It's okay I can handle this
misplaced aggression �

� Let's have an on-ice
therapy session �

�

� Don't think I won't
rip off your head �

� I'd rather hug
it out instead �

�

� Oh.... Please,
I'm begging �

� This is stripping
all my bravado �

�

� Let's end
this dispute �

� and I'll gladly
let you go �

� Argh...! �

� Okay,
truce. �

� I won't make you
drop the gloves. �

� I sincerely appreciate
your outpouring of love. �

�

� Anyone else going care
to take a run at me? �

�

� Be forewarned -- �

� I will hug you
'til eternity! �

�

�

� One, two, three, four! �

� Pugilist or pacifist
We can all be fans. �

� It's hockey!
It's hockey! �

� The greatest
game in the land. �

� Moose Jaw to Newfoundland �

� This we understand �

� Because hockey,
hockey's �

� the greatest
game in the land. �

� Wickenheiser,
Cassie Campbell, �

� you can be a woman. �

� It's hockey,
hockey �

� The greatest
game in the land �

Woo!

Yeah!

Yes! Yeah!

�

� I swear this kid is going
down in history. �

� What do I know?
No one ever listens to me. �

� At least he's going to make
us a boatload of money �

� Hockey,
hockey �

� The greatest
game in the land. �

� Look at him skate
He satisfies all my rages. �

� His name is Farley Gordon �

� And his girlfriend
is hot-rageous �

� I'm finding this happiness
incredibly contagious �

� Hockey,
hockey �

� The greatest
game in the land. �

� Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� The greatest
game in the land. �

� His name is Farley Gordon �

� And he's showing
us a new light. �

� He's making me look
like a sieve tonight �

� His name is Farley Gordon �

� And his skills
are out of sight �

� Hockey,
hockey �

� The greatest
game in the land. �

� Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� Oh, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� His name is Farley Gordon �

� And he's got mad moves �

� His name is Farley Gordon �

� And nothing left
to prove �

� His name is Farley Gordon �

� And he wants
us to be fans �

� His name is Farley Gordon �

� The greatest
game in the world �

� We are proud Canadians.
Hockey's in our DNA �

� We are proud Canadians and
we're not afraid to say �

� We are proud Canadians and
we'll always find a way �

� playing hockey,
hockey �

� The greatest game
in the land �

� Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Hockey, hockey �

� The greatest
game in the land �

�

Was your son
a late bloomer or...?

Are you from Mars?

Oh,
no.

Do you have any advice
for a new hockey dad?

Give your son or
daughter

every opportunity
to play the game

and enjoy the
game and get better

at it all the time.

I suppose.

Boy, you see how much the
sticks cost now, though?

I just saw
one for $200.

My first stick was
one from the bush.

I cut a
tree branch down

and carved a hockey
stick out of it.

That was
my first stick.

Oh my gawd.

I lived on a farm.
Isn't that something?

That's amazing.

Come on,
we'll watch the game.

�

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