All language subtitles for Schooled s02e15_English

LAINEY: Back in the '90s, an
indie comedy called Swingers

exploded onto the scene.

Everyone loved
the on-screen bromance

between Jon Favreau
and Vince Vaughn,

and their catchy lingo
inspired many friendships
at William Penn,

where we quoted it
on the regular.

Vegas, baby.

Vegas, baby.

Vegas!
Vegas!

Others were more inspired
by the movie's fashion.

Why are you dressed
like half the dudes

in my Gampaw's
retirement home?

I'm Trent from Swingers...

Single, confident man

on the prowl
for beautiful honey babies.

Little baby's
all growsed up.

Little baby's
all growsed up!

I'm going.
(LAUGHS)

But there was one student
who definitely
was not a follower

of Swingers fashion.

Lately, she was embracing
a darker look

that had me
a little concerned.

Hey, Claudia.

You didn't want to maybe
switch up your look

and go with
a Swingers vibe?

No, those clothes
look stupid.

Stupid fresh.
(SCOFFS)

But the biggest trend
Swingers brought
to William Penn

was all about dance.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)
All right!

As you know, I am
required to have
one unit of dance a year,

and that has always
been square dancing,

which nobody likes.

So I'm replacing it
with the far more
athletic swing dancing.

Now watch and learn as Ronnie
and Weasel demonstrate.

Have at it, boys.

Phew.

Okay, dude.

It's just like we practiced
in your mom's basement.

This is our moment
to shine.

Let's rock 'n' roll, boys!

(KEVIN REARDON'S
RAGHAT BOOGIE PLAYS)

A five, six,
seven, eight...

**

* There's a party starting,
better gather 'round

Twirlies!

* That magic sound

(LAUGHS) I did not
see that one coming!

* It's a raghat boogie
tonight *

**

(SOUR NOTES PLAY, MUSIC STOPS)

Oh. That was not money.

* One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here

* Live your life
and finally be free

* Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do

* Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" *

LAINEY: It was February 19th,
1990-something,

and I was wrapping up
a class discussion.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Remember to read
chapter six, okay?

And papers are due when,
Claudia?

If you don't know,
how should I?

They're due on Tuesday,
so I do know. How 'bout that?

Great. Give yourself
a gold star.

LAINEY: Claudia was
a student I had
been having difficulty

getting through to,

so when she accidentally
left her notebook
behind that day,

I couldn't help
but skim through it

in order to try
and gain some insight.

"I was born to a demon mother,
fire in my veins.

""She steals my freedom
with her voodoo,

always keeps me in chains"?

"She is such a f... "
What are you doing?

I'm so sorry.

But I think I get it now.

I'm guessing
not everything is cool
between you and your mom.

Like you would know.

Well, I just read a poem
called "Mother Sucker."

And... And then there's
"Devil in a Blue Skort"

and "Mom, You're a Raging..."

Just mind your own
business.

I'm a teacher.
You are my business.

As I struggled to connect
to a lost student,

Wilma was rallying everyone
for a "swinging" night out.

All right, we're all going to

Swing Dancing Night
at the Greenwood Inn.

Who's game?

Actually, Wilma,

I don't think Julie and I
can attend,

'cause we have those
already established plans,

right, Julie?
JULIE: Yes.

We have plans to go
swing dancing with Wilma.

All right, we're in.

I'm down, daddy-o.

And you'll love it, CB.

You won't look
so out of place.

Everyone wears stupid ties.

Ha. I think I'm gonna
pass, Wilma.

My students are turning
in their, uh,

Scarlet Letter essays
by end of day Friday,

and I want to get
them graded.

Ugh. You never
come out with us.

Okay.
Gather up, everyone.

It is that time of the year
when we have run out of money

and I realize I do not have
an adequate support staff.

So, who's up
for some volunteering?

We're here for ya, boss.
What can we do ya for?

Well, first up,
Saturday morning
school beautification.

Use any fancy words
you want...

It's just picking up
trash at 6:00 a.m.

Sold! No better way
to start my weekend.

Any other volunteers?

No one?

All right, next up, Model U.N.

We need a few advisors.

Si. Oui. Ja.
(CHUCKLES)

Grazie, CB.

And, finally,
we need someone to
plant some begonias

by the front entrance.

Uh... Rick,
how 'bout you?

I don't know
what begonias are,

and, besides, we start
dodgeball next week,

and 300 rubber balls
are not going to
inflate themselves.

I gotchoo, PG.
I'm on it.

Well, that's all, then,
and thank you to CB
and CB only.

I get you love your job,

but grading papers
on a Friday night,

and now this
extra volunteer work?

It's like you practically
live at this school.

Oh, God,
that'd be absurd.

(CHUCKLES) Plus the insurance
wouldn't even allow that...

Not that I've checked.

Oh, come on, CB.

You're a young single guy
in his 20s.

You should be going out
and having fun.

I got to get 35 mini flags
for Model U.N.,

poster board
for the bake sale,
and I need milk.

That's three "going outs"
right there.

Full skedge!

See?
I don't even have time

to say the full word
"schedule" I'm so busy.

LAINEY: Now,
I didn't quite know
how to help Claudia,

but I knew who could
help me help her.

John, we have a Code 5
emergency.

A raccoon
in the cafeteria?

Is it exhibiting
signs of rabies?
No.

No rabies brings it
down to a Code 5-A.

There's no raccoon.

Then that's not
a Code 5 at all.

Lainey, my code system
is not a toy.

It's about
Claudia Caughlin.

She left her notebook
in my class

full of super-heavy
emotional poetry.

Poetry? Hmm.
Have a seat.

I don't know
if you know this,
but I've been known

to sling a few verses
here and there.

I'm actually doing
a poetry slam next week.

Wait, seriously?
Indeed.

My stage name
is Furious G.

Feast your ears on this.

"Fish sticks.

"Sticks of fish I eat.

"Nourishment for
my body home.

"Aquarium?
A query? Yum.

"Once a swimmer
in the tide,

"but now fried
to keep me...

"Alive."

What (BLEEP) was that?

I know, right?

Well, Claudia's stuff
is less seafood-related

and more
terrible-mother-related.

Oh, well,
that explains why

she started dressing
like Lily Munster.

(CHUCKLES)
Such a good show.

I really feel for Claudia.

Of course, because of
everything you went through

with your mother
when you were here
in school.

Yes. I remember
when you forced me
to talk about it

in our mandatory
"Feelings Friday" sessions.

And a little during
"What's up Wednesdays."

And now here you are
with those unique insights

and Claudia obviously
needing counseling.

Exactly.
So, can you help her?

Lainey, you're the one
who needs to help her.

You relate to her.

You understand
what she's going through.

I guess that makes sense.

You're lucky you had
a terrible childhood.

I wish I could help her,

but my relationship with
my mother is just so solid.
Of course it is.

I mean, she's so loving.
Got it.

She calls me
every other day...

Good for you.
...just to say "I love you."

I am blessed.

Hey, but Furious G,
on the other hand,

he is a child
of the streets.

**

Oh, hey.
You heading home?

Careful.
The manure's pretty fresh.

I picked up on that.

But it looks like
you're almost finished.

Maybe reconsider
coming out with us.

Oh, I'm not
almost finished.

I still have to handle
Mellor's balls.

Oh.

I have to pump up
his dodgeball balls.

But doing that
was Mellor's excuse

for why he couldn't
do the flowers.

Yeah, Rick said he had
a personal emergency,

and it must be serious

'cause he went
right to the nurse's office.

The nurse's office,
where his girlfriend works?

So, this is why
you dumped your work on CB?

This is your emergency?

Yes. Aunt Julie is
the light of my life,

and every time
I'm not with her,
it's an emergency.

He's mostly just playing
with my stickers.

Ah, and I did a "grape" job.

So, even though CB already
does everything around here,

you saddled him
with even more?

Saddled?
The guy loves it!

Do you see
how excited he gets

every time he volunteers
for something?

I think you might be
missing the point, Rick.

Thank you, Julie.

Although I don't know
what the point is.

I just know
that he's missing it.

The point is CB's taking on
all this extra work

because he's avoiding having
a life outside of school.

Why would he do that?

Wait.

I think I know.

Is this about how CB used
to have a crush on Lainey?

Witch!

Um, not wicked witch,
the mind-reader witch.

Okay, we all know
about that,

except he's not hung up
on Lainey anymore,

but he's still
stuck in a rut,

spending all his time
here at school.

I get that,

for I, too, had
nothing to live for
beyond these walls

until I met my sweet nurse,
Aunt Julie.

Exactly.
So, don't you see,

by dumping even more
extra schoolwork on CB,

you're helping to prevent him
from getting out there

and maybe meeting
his Aunt Julie?

Impeding CB's ability to meet
his very own Aunt Julie

is the worst offense
a man can commit!

Knowing your glory,

I want every man
in the world to have you.

Aww.

I know you meant that
to sound sweet.

And it did.

LAINEY: Wilma and Coach
had agreed to help CB

spread his wings
outside the school,

and Coach had
the perfect plan.

What's this about?

Okay, I know we agreed
to work together
to help fix CB,

but, lucky for you,
I went rogue.

I am beyond nervous.
Don't be.

I was so riddled with guilt

at robbing CB
of his opportunity

to find his very own
Nurse Aunt Julie

that I have gathered
in his classroom...

...a fine collection of
eligible single ladies.

Oh, my...

I was told
there would be food.

Uh, the... It's coming,
uh, fine single lady.

Yeah.

I told them there'd be
an elaborate buffet,

but one of these fine ladies
is actually a nurse,

three are aunts,
and one is named Judy.

Well, it's not Julie,
but it's pretty damn close.

So, CB just waltzes in here
and picks one?

This is extremely weird
and awkward.

Just like CB!
It's perfect.

Excuse me.

When does the raffle start?

After the buffet.
Oh.

I also told them
there was a raffle.

I had to get them
all in here.

Buffet, raffle...
What are you gonna do?

Um, sorry.
What is this?

CB.
Yes?

Feast your eyes
on this smorgasbord
of eligible single ladies.

Why...
What are you doing?

I am determined
to help you

find the same joy
that I have found.

Here he is, ladies!
What a catch.

Full head of hair,
he owns his own car,

and he's halfway vested
to a teacher's pension.

I'll start
the bidding at $20.

No, no,
it's not an auction.

$25.

Well, what the hell?
I'm flexible.

Do I hear $30?
Okay, um,

thank you so much, women,
for coming out,

but I'm... I'm not
looking right now.

Thank you.

$30!

Read the room, Ethel.

CB, wait.

No! Good instincts,
keep going.

Um, thank you
for whatever this was,

but what was this?

First, to be clear,
I was not a part
of the insanity

of gathering
this hodgepodge of women.

That was all me, baby.
(SIGHS)

But it's not even
about finding a woman.

We just want you
to spend a little less
time by yourself

and a little more time
getting out there.

You don't think
I'm getting out there?

Well, you did just tell
all those fine gals

that you're not looking
right now.

Yeah, I'm not looking
'cause I already have someone.

You do? Who?

Her name is Annabelle.

She's actually a model s...
Uh, catalogue, but still.

We have a date Friday night.

Then why didn't
you tell me that

instead of saying
you were grading papers
on Friday night?

Well, I like to keep
my private life private.

You know, I always
saw Julie as a potential
catalogue model.

How do you get into
that line of work?

LAINEY: Wilma wasn't
buying CB's story,

and as for Claudia,
she wasn't sold

on a teacher like me
wanting to help her.

So, I tried playing
a different role.

Hey. Don't you, like,
hate the sun?

It's just so bright
and all in your face.

What are you doing?
Why are you dressed like that?

Because I'm sick of wearing
that clown costume

they make me wear here
every day.

This speaks to
the color of my soul.

You're wearing flip-flops
with little plastic flowers
on them.

Oh. Yes.

Only because my...

Goth shoes
are at the cobbler.

So, I was thinking
of replacing my bed
with a coffin.

I'm not...
Look. Let me save you
further embarrassment.

I know
what you're doing.

You don't know
anything about me.

That's the thing...
I do.

You have
a tough relationship
with your mother,

and so did I
when I was your age.

No way it was
as bad as mine.
Oh, yeah?

I'd put my mom issues
up against yours any day.

Couple weeks ago,
I was five minutes late
for curfew,

and she grounded me
for a week and took away
my Ouija board.

I would've killed
to have a curfew!

That would've meant
my mom wanted me
to come home.

Last Saturday night,

I forgot to tell my mom
I was going to a big party,

and she showed up
and dragged me out

and embarrassed me
in front of all my friends.

One time,
when I was 11,

my dad and I had to drag
my mom out of a biker bar

because she was
"being too rowdy."

Last Christmas,
I asked my mom for tickets
to see The Cure.

All she got me
was a bunch

of stupid sweaters
from Fashion Bug.

Christmas.
We used to celebrate those.

Until one Christmas Eve,
my mom walked out
on me and my dad.

No reason, no warning,
no letter.

Just gone.

I haven't seen
or talked to her since.

Wow.

That sure beats
stupid sweaters.

And one was okay,
actually.

It had a giraffe on it.

I didn't know
any of that about you.

Yeah.

And what really helped was
I started writing
and performing songs

about what happened.

It was a great outlet
for my feelings.

You could perform
that poem you wrote
about your mother.

I can take you to a place
where people get up
and do slam poetry.

I think it would really
help you deal with things.

Maybe
expressing my feelings

is better than keeping them
hidden away in a notebook.

Exactly.

Okay. I'll go.

But you're not gonna show up
like that, are you?

Oh, God, no.
I ran out of foundation,

and my left cheek
is mostly Wite-Out.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

**

Why, hello.
Oh.

You're not Paul from upstairs
returning my cake plate.

And you're not on a date
with Annabelle,

but I can see the name
on that little ship
is Annabelle.

Yes, that is because
I named it after her

'cause that's how serious
she and I are.

What's Annabelle's
last name?

Bottleboat.

I have no date.

I had a feeling.

Why'd you lie?

Look, I love teaching,

and I don't mind saying
I'm great at it.

No arguments here.

It's totally my zone.

It's where I feel
most comfortable,

I get a ton of
positive feedback,

but the things in my life
outside of my zone,

well, they're not
working out as well.

Like Lainey?
No, I'm over the whole
Lainey crush,

but it was a reminder
that the things
outside of teaching

aren't a guaranteed
success for me, you know?

So it's like, "Why not go
all in on my best thing?"

When
I first started teaching,
I was all about work.

On a Friday night, there
was nothing I liked more

than being at home,
dissecting a fetal pig
or a frog

or maybe even something
I hit with my car
on my way home.

Accidentally, I hope?
Sure.

Anyway, one night,
the power went out
in my place,

so I went to a bar
down the block,

and turns out
people from work
were there.

A couple of beers,
a few Limoncellos,

and a bus ticket
to Atlantic City later,

I now own two-thirds
of a goat farm.

Seriously?

And all this time,
I've been buying
my own goat cheese.

The point is
that was 10 years ago,

and those people
are still my friends,

all because I went out
and connected
with other people.

So, come dancing.

And if you don't
do it for you,
do it for us.

We like having
you around.
Thanks.

I like being around
you guys, too.

But I'm gonna take
a rain check,

and, you know,
maybe next time.

Okay.

Maybe next time.

Cool.

All right. Let's welcome
our next poet to
the stage, Furious G.

Whoo!

(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

You all know me.

This is a little piece
that I wrote.

It's called
"Within the Lines."

"Parking spot,
my spot to park.

"You see me with the day,
start and end.

"I drive away."

All right.

(SIGHS)

Thank you, Furious G.
That was about a parking spot.

Next up, we'll bring
a new poet to our stage.

Please give a warm welcome
to Claudia.

You can do this.

Just get it all out,
share your feelings.

Thanks. I know it'll feel good
to get this off my chest.

I am proud of you,
Lainey,

and how well you've taken
my sage advice.

(FEEDBACK)
Okay, here we go.

"Oh, brother,

"gross boy on the other end
of our Jack and Jill bathroom,

"how I hate you."

Wait.
What's that now?

"Dried toothpaste blobs
in the sink,

"toilet bowl
filled with stink,

"your crusty towel
hung akimbo.

"Oh, bro.

"No, no, no."

(APPLAUSE)
The (BLEEP) was that?

Oh, my God.
I was so nervous,
but I did it.

Yeah, congrats.

But what happened to that
poem trashing your mom?

Oh, I don't need to read
that one anymore.

Why not?
It was your chance
to let it all out.

Now, everyone,
give it up for our next poet,
Li'l Street Rat.

He's good.
No. Uh, sorry, no.

Go back to your seat.
Don't give it up.

Go back to your seat,
Li'l Rat Face.

Claudia has another poem.

Right, Claudia?
No, I don't.

Yes, you do.
It's called "Mother Sucker."

It's about her mom,
really lets her have it.

Lainey, it's okay.
She doesn't want to...

Not now, Furious G.

I'm not reading it,
Ms. Lewis.

Yes, you are.
You have to.

You can't just bottle up
all these negative feelings
about your mother.

It will only mess you up
for years to come.

But my mom and I
are good now.

No, you're not.
You hate her.
Not anymore.

After you told me
about what a disaster

your relationship was
with your mother

and what she did to you,

it made me realize
I'm lucky my mom's
still here.

So I went home
and I talked to her and
I shared my feelings.

Anyways, my mom
and I are making
Rice Krispie treats tonight.

See you Monday.
Bye.

She was supposed to go
up there and read that poem

that vented all her anger
at my mom.

Your mom?

No, her mom, not mine.
Lainey, I think...

Don't try to make
this a thing about me
and my mom.

This is all about Claudia.

Thanks a lot
for making me do this, John.

**

LAINEY: Wilma's efforts
to get CB to join the fun
didn't quite land,

but even alone at home,
there were some people
he couldn't dodge.

(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)
Hey, CB! It's Rick Mellor,

Coach Rick Mellor
from William Penn.

(SWING MUSIC PLAYS)
WILMA: Hey, CB.

Anyway, Julie, Wilma, and I
are at Swing Dancing Night.

You should come by!
JULIE: Not the same
without you!

RICK: Uh, by the way,
first drink's on...

(BEEP)
Hey, CB. Coach Rick again.

Uh, I think I got
cut off there,

so I was just calling back
to make sure you heard
the first drink's on me.

WILMA: Come on out
and dance with us!

RICK: Anyway, I really
hope you can make...
(BEEP)

Rick again.
WILMA: We love you, CB!

RICK: I just want you to
know I was saying

I really hope
you can join us.

Again, this is Rick Mel...

(BEEP)
...lor.

I got cut off at "Mell,"
so I don't...

JULIE AND WILMA:
(CHANTING) CB!
I don't want you to think, uh,

it's Rick Mell,
some strange guy.

It's actually Mellor.
Mellor.

(BEEP)

These baristas.

I clearly told them
that my name is Furious G,

and they wrote
"Furbiest Gene."

(CHUCKLES)
That's not even a real name.

I can't believe
I screwed up so bad.

Well, your goal
was to help Claudia,
and you did just that.

Yeah, by showing her
how humiliatingly worse
my childhood was

and what a mess
I apparently still am?

Come on, Lainey.
You're not a mess.

It's just that
helping Claudia

brought up some old,
unresolved issues.

She left more than
10 years ago.

I thought I was over it.

Well, maybe you should take

the same advice
that you gave Claudia.

She didn't take my advice.

I told her to express her
feelings to the audience here.

She went
and expressed them
to her mom.

And it seems like that
really worked out for her.

You know, Lainey, sometimes
when you help a student,

they can end up
helping you.

Thank you, Furious G.

Yo.

LAINEY:
Glascott had helped me see all
the good I'd done for Claudia,

but as Swing Dancing Night
went into full effect,

CB was still nowhere
to be found.

So Julie, Coach,
and Wilma made the best
of it without him.

Julie, I don't know
how you did it,

but you are looking
both cute and hot.

Oh, well, thanks.
I could say the same
about you.

Ah!

Hello, ladies... And Rick.

Whoa, that is
one heck of a suit.

Thanks.
It was my grandfather's.

It's really nice.

He died in it.

(NEW RADICALS' YOU GET
WHAT YOU GIVE PLAYS)

* Unh

* Cha, cha, cha

* Cha

Oh, look at this!

CB, you came out.

I did.
Did you bring Annabelle?

Um, let's just say
my relationship
with her sank.

But turns out I have
some really pushy friends

that I'm very lucky
to have.

We're lucky, too.

* One, two, three, ow!

LAINEY: Life is full
of challenges,

and they can be scary
to face alone,

but that's why it's important
to remember

that with friends
by your side,

you'll never have to.

'Cause even in the most
difficult of times,

if you have the support of
those who care about you,

you'll find those
tough moments get
a whole lot easier.

* ...busy still saying please

So if someone wants
to lend a helping hand,
take it.

* Frenemies

Because when we connect
with each other,

the possibilities
are endless.

* We smash a Mercedes-Benz

* First we run, and then
we laugh till we cry *

And some challenges are a lot
harder to face than others.

But you need to have faith
that the harder it is,

the bigger
the reward will be.

So when you find yourself
nervous or afraid,

know that the best way
through it all

is to face it head-on.

'Cause in the end, it just
might open up new doors
to something even better.

(SIGHS)

Hey, Dad.

I was thinking maybe
it's time I talked to Mom.

Do you have her number?

This is a little thing
I call "Crazy World."

"In crazy times,
I build a bridge

"from my jumbled mind
to my mini fridge

"inside of which
resides the cure

"to a world so cold
and so impure.

"When pain and strife
in one do mingle,

"I open the door and get
my Kraft Single."

So deep how he uses
Kraft Singles

as a metaphor for
achieving inner peace.

No, not a metaphor.
He's literally talking
about cheese.

This is called
"Wherever Did You Go?"

"The silver screen
is now laid bare,

"a shadow of the glory
that was once there.

"You looked so silky,
lush, and hip

"perched atop the upper lip

"of a man so full
of style and panache.

"Please come back,
Burt Reynold's mustache."

That can't be
about Burt...

Burt Reynold's mustache.
Yes, it absolutely was.