Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,132 --> 00:00:05,396
Cartoon voice:
Good night, Triangle. Good night, Square.
2
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,703
Thanks for showing us
how fun it is to learn.
3
00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:10,401
Do you want to gettheir pajamas, or should I...
4
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,273
Ohh.
5
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:14,188
[ Click ]
6
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:17,452
Announcer: Next, "Blood Orgy 7:
Rise of the Organ Hoarder."
7
00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:18,670
[ Weapon scrapes, man grunts ]
8
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,629
[ Laughs ]
9
00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:22,544
Woman: Aah! [ Chain saw revving ]
10
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:25,329
[ Woman screaming,
chain saw buzzing ]
11
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,939
[ Thumping, men grunting]
12
00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,071
Oh, my God!
13
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:28,985
Woman: Why?!
14
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,204
Why?!
15
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:33,294
--Captions by VITAC--
16
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,948
Captioning Provided by
20th Century Fox Television
and ABC, Inc.
17
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:38,951
and brought to you by Ford.
Going further, so you can.
18
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,737
♪♪
19
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:45,088
Are you Daniel Boone?
20
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,569
Who's asking?
21
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,353
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
22
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,268
I just came
to see Kentucky,
23
00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,227
the fifth-largest
tobacco producer
24
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:56,752
and the third-largestcoal producer in the country.
25
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,971
I feel like I am there.
26
00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:01,191
The only thing more painful
than children's theater
27
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:02,975
is what's going on
with my back right now.
28
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:05,804
Why can't you take the pillsthat the doctor gave you
29
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,806
so that you can enjoyyour son's tour de force?
30
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,286
I just need
a little stretch.
31
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,114
Doctors give you pills
for everything today.
32
00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,550
Now we need
a volunteer.
33
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,944
Mr. Pritchett, thank you
for your enthusiasm.
34
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:16,380
What?[ Whispering ]
One of our players
35
00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:17,686
has been kidnapped
by his stepfather,
36
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:18,774
but the show must go on.
37
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,036
Place a star on the flag
38
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,907
every time
a territory becomes a state.
39
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,344
Seriously,
but do the police --
40
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:26,347
[ Normal voice ]
How 'bout a round of applause?!
41
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:27,826
[ Groans ]
42
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,612
[ Whispering ] Faster, please.
We're losing them.
43
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,179
Where are you?
44
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,529
You're missing Joe's tributeto the 50 nifty United States.
45
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:36,226
Claire: [ Coughs ]
46
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,141
[ Nasally ] I'm at home in bed
with the worst cold.
47
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,056
Afraid the whole family's down.
48
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,841
Might've even lost
a few house plants, yeah.
49
00:01:42,885 --> 00:01:44,626
Okay, well, I'm gonna
get some rest now.[ Grunts ]
50
00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,367
Alright. Take care.
51
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,194
[ Cellphone beeps ]
52
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:50,414
[ Sighs ]
53
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:51,415
[ Thud ]
Aah!
54
00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:52,416
Phil!
55
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:55,941
You told meyou sold your dad's RV!
56
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:58,553
And you told me you were
running your 5-mile loop!
57
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,816
This street is
on your 3-mile course,
58
00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:02,774
so who are you
really mad at, Claire?
59
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,298
[ Laughs nervously ]
60
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:05,951
Cameron:Gloria, we are so sorry,
61
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:08,432
but we're not gonna be ableto make it to Joe's play.
62
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,434
No, no, Ronaldo's mom,she had --
63
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,349
well, she had
emergency surgery,
64
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:15,222
and, uh, he and Pepper
dropped off their Great Danes
65
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,049
to our place
with no warning.
66
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,616
[ Barking ]
67
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,488
No! No, stay away from that!
Not the vase!
68
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,318
Sorry, Gloria.
I gotta go.
69
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,058
[ Cellphone beeps ]You couldn't just sayyou had a cold?
70
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:28,060
Oh, yeah,
and Abe Lincoln,
71
00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:30,280
he could've said,
"87 years ago,"
72
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:31,977
and Hamlet could've said,
"Maybe I'll kill myself."
73
00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,892
No, it's
the finishing touches
74
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,243
that separate the merely good
from great, Mitchell!
75
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,462
Sweetie, I know you'rereally tense about this --
76
00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:40,247
No, no, no!
Don't jinx it, don't jinx it!
77
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,552
Cam is up for head coach
78
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,511
at the University of Nor--Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup!
79
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:46,209
[ Inhales ]
Bup, bup!
80
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:48,385
Cam is up for
head football coach
81
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:51,083
at the University
of North Central Missouri.
82
00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:52,215
It's his dream job,
83
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,217
and they're supposed to
call him about it today,
84
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:56,306
and it's making him
a little crazy.
85
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:57,351
In f-fact --
86
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,266
C-Claire's always
Dad's favorite,
87
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:00,876
and I-I'm really miffedabout that.
88
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,618
Oh, boy.
This again, huh?
89
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,228
Okay. No, go on.
90
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,448
I'm ready.Oh, my God!
91
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:10,494
Honey, you look gorgeous!
Look at her.Ah, sweetie! Oh!
92
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,235
Now, may I give you a piece
of advice from myfirst date?
93
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,063
Don't say how much
you want to have kids,
94
00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,847
and don't cry,
because your makeup will run.
95
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,240
I'm more worriedabout my
daterunning
96
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,633
when he sees you two there.
97
00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,809
You'll barely even
notice us, okay?
98
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:23,028
Just be yourself.
You are -- You're so funny.
99
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,161
[ Gasps ] Okay,
tell that funny story
100
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,163
of the old drunk guy
who was kissing the donkey.
101
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,383
Oh, because
yourfamily's perfect?
102
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,254
[ Ringtone playing ]Okay. Oh, my God!
That's it!
103
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,342
That's the job!
104
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,039
Where's my phone?!
Where's my phone?!
105
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,520
This is the worst thing
that could be happ--
106
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,130
Okay, it's just
my mediation app.[ Cellphone beeps ]
107
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:40,959
[ Exhales sharply ]
108
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:43,440
Okay, you needto control your man.
109
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,963
If he gets bad news
tonight
110
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,835
and melts down
in front of Randy,
111
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:49,316
I can kiss"kissing him goodbye" goodbye.
112
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:51,274
Okay, no, I gotcha, I gotcha.
Come on, let's go.
113
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,450
I understand we allget attached to things
114
00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:55,104
that belonged
to our parents.
115
00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,410
That's not it.
116
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,325
I'm doing this so you and I
can have some adventures.
117
00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,283
Can't you see yourself
making lists and folding shirts
118
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,416
while we drive across
the Golden Gate Bridge?
119
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,548
We're never gonna
use this thing.
120
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,724
It guzzles gas,and it takes an hour to park.
121
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:07,943
Well,
then leave it here.
122
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,292
You've always wanted
a guest house.
123
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,555
Not one with seat beltsat the dining table.
124
00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:15,516
No discussion, Dylan.
125
00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,692
We're taking them to see
a baby psychiatrist.
126
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,433
Are you still talking aboutthat crazy movie?
127
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,956
Well,
it messed them up!
128
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,392
We took them
to the park.
129
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:23,872
Swing set -- bored.
130
00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,177
Cute squirrels -- snore.
131
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,701
Then an old lady
walking her poodle
132
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,311
trips and gets dragged
through a rosebush,
133
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,965
and these two
burst out laughing
134
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,445
like two stoners
in a tickle fight.
135
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,011
I'm sureyou're both overreacting
136
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,448
the way
all new parents do.
137
00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,884
No, Mom,
we're screwing this up.
138
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:37,581
At the very least,
we need help,
139
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,540
like -- like an au pair
or something.
140
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,367
That's two nannies,
right?
141
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,368
Correct.
Okay.
142
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,978
Ohh.
143
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:46,590
Look at how gentle they're beingwith that butterfly.
144
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,505
See? You two were worryingfor no--
145
00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:50,681
[ Twins giggle ]They're tearing it apart.Ohh!
146
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:53,554
What do you saywe leave the babies with Farrah
147
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,338
and the grown-ups go outand talk about this over dinner?
148
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,426
Great idea.
149
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,210
Oh!
Four people, though.
150
00:04:58,254 --> 00:04:59,995
Try fitting that
in a regular car.
151
00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,605
Wait a minute.
152
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:04,956
What if we took the R--you kidding me?!
153
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,002
Remind me to buy
some wheel blocks!
154
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,268
Oh, God.
Lily needs my help.
155
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,836
[ Brays ]
156
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,403
Cameron: What the hellare you doing?
157
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,143
I'm -- I'm trying to get herto tell that funny donkey story.
158
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:19,580
By making an Eeyore sound?
159
00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,843
You know what?Not all donkeys are depressed.
160
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:23,453
That'san offensive stereotype
161
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,586
perpetuated bya bunch of ignorant Iowans.
162
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,588
[ Cellphone vibrates ]Oh, my God!
My phone's buzzing!
163
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:28,980
[ Sighs ]
It's just Longinus.
164
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,418
Yeah, we know. You metMarie Osmond at a Five Guys.
165
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:32,810
Nobody cares.
166
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,510
My friend saidwe should try the potato.
167
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:37,772
Lily!Hey, guys. Guys, guys, guys,
guys, guys, guys, guys.
168
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,034
Hey.Claire: Hi!
169
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,383
Hey, guys!
What are you doing here?
170
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:41,515
Oh, just taking a breakfrom scarring our children.
171
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,473
Now, come on.
172
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,214
Haley and Dylan were having
a little bit of a meltdown,
173
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,737
and we thought we'd hit Spuds
one last time
174
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:47,738
before they close
for good.
175
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,523
I know.
It's sad, isn't it?
176
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,481
Remember we used to spend
all of our birthdays here...Yeah!
177
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:54,484
...and Spuddy Holly
would always sing to us.Yes! Oh.
178
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,878
Both: ♪ Scalloped, fried,
or lyonnaise ♪
179
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,575
♪ Spuds' potatoes amaze
180
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,055
♪ Happy birthday
181
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,970
I want to stress
that I'm adopted.
182
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,841
Why don't we leave the lovebirdsto their date?
183
00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,539
Good idea,
but you know what?
184
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,584
Spuds is better with morepeople, much like a vehicle.
185
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,586
Let's -- Let's see if they cansit the rest of us together.
186
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:10,544
Okay, yeah.Okay.
187
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:11,806
Alright.
188
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:14,896
[ Indistinct talking ]
189
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,463
[ Gasps ]
190
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:19,074
I'd been following Cam'scompetitor for the coaching spot
191
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,815
on Instagram, and --
[ Sighs ]
192
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,860
...he beat Cam out for the job,
193
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:24,688
which meant, any minute,
194
00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,603
Cam would be getting
the devastating news himself.
195
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,258
And I-I-I couldn't rely on
the joyful environment of Spuds
196
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,999
to cushion the blow.
197
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:33,218
Although, it is famously
where Larry King broke up
198
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:34,698
with four of his wives.
199
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,047
Cam. Cam.
200
00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,875
I-I-I just got
some bad news,
201
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,660
and I think it's bestthat you hear it from me.
202
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:40,617
Oh, I heard.
203
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,140
They're out of
the Impossible Potato.
204
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,707
Now, I'm sorry,
205
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:46,275
you advertise the first potato
made entirely of meat,
206
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,320
ya better have enough
for everyone.
207
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,456
[ Hawaiian music plays ][ Groans ]
Please just
take those pills.
208
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,589
You're more crookedthan General James Wilkinson
209
00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,808
duringthe Louisiana Purchase.
210
00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,506
We're down to
the last state.
211
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,464
It's actually better
if I move.
212
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,293
[ Groans ]
213
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,513
Wow.
This is gorgeous.[ Groans ]
214
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:07,644
What do you call
this place, again?
215
00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,037
Pearl Harbor.
216
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,650
[ Bomb whistles, explosions ]
217
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:16,479
[ Gunfire ]
218
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,741
Aah!
219
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:20,396
Save the flag, boys!
220
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,529
[ Groaning ]
221
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,313
[ Cheers and applause ]
222
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,406
Haley,
get off your phone.
223
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,147
The babies are fine
with Dylan's mom.
224
00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,410
If you're feeling tense,
my dad's old foot bath
is in the RV.
225
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,151
Plugs right into
the cigarette lighter.
226
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,500
Honey, there could bea money volcano
227
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,633
that plugs right intoa white wine fountain in there.
228
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,938
I still wouldn't want it.
229
00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:42,592
I keep remembering things
I forgot to tell her.
230
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,115
My kids
are already sociopaths.
231
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:46,335
I don't need to give them astrawberry allergy on top of it.
232
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:47,641
Oh, I completely,
totally get that.
233
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:48,511
Just gonna turn this off.
234
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:49,991
You know what?
235
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,514
Hey, let-- let's all turn off
our phones. Come on.
236
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,560
Yeah, you can -- No, come on.
Live in the moment.
237
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,779
I mean, appreciate the fact
that we live in a town
238
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,433
with family and friends
239
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,217
all sitting at the same table
where --
240
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:02,438
oh, yeah, "Eisenhower planned
the D-Day invasion."
241
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,526
Well,
that's probably not true.
242
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:04,745
Sounds like
somebody's nervous
243
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,398
about a possible moveto Missouri.
244
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,965
No, I'm --
I'm just pointing out
245
00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:10,359
that there are a lot of
really great things here.
246
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:11,795
Like -- Like,
wouldn't it be a shame
247
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,884
to cut that blossoming
relationship short?
248
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:16,670
Actually, I'm not so surehow much I trust that Randy guy.
249
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,672
I mean, what kind of sicko is
attracted to a 12-year-old?
250
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,325
I wonder if his parents
messed him up, too.
251
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,762
You know, I read
on a mommy blog
252
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,764
that bad parenting is a direct
link to future criminality --
253
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:24,765
and deejaying.
254
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:25,766
Okay, you know what?
255
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,202
You two
need to be careful
256
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,726
because you can read so muchabout howto parent,
257
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,336
you miss out on beingone.
258
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,947
Mitchell struggled
with that.
259
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,949
Just relax.
260
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,167
Aww, sweetheart.
261
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:38,039
[ Fusses ]Oh. [ Sniffs ]
262
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:39,649
Did you put
hair spray in this?Just a little bit, yes.
263
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:40,824
I'm gonna put
some music on.
264
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,739
No, Cam,
I have to go work.Dance with her!
265
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,436
Come on.
I don't have time for this.Put a little boogiein it.
266
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,786
No, come on, it --♪ Stand up♪
267
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,788
Just dance.You know you love this song.
268
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,050
Alright. Okay.
269
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,052
Who's the dancing queen,
huh?
270
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,184
♪ ...all over town♪
271
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,925
Put a little boogie
in it.
272
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:56,448
See? Fun.[ Lily giggles ]
273
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:57,493
[ Thud ]Oh, my --
274
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,668
Was that her head?
275
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,583
Sorry. I forgot
how that story ended.
276
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,977
It ended with us
in the ER
277
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,675
of one of the best hospitalsin the world.
278
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:07,242
Nice having that
only a mile away.
279
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,374
I'll have you know that
the life expectancy in Missouri
280
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,246
just climbed above
Arkansas and Guam.
281
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,074
Okay, give me back my phone.
I'm ordering baby helmets.
282
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,510
Stop worrying.
283
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,425
Kids get bonked
all the time.
284
00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:18,166
Do you knowhow many tumbles Luke took?
285
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,167
[ Laughs ]
286
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,298
[ Dog barks ]
287
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:22,474
I think
he wants to go out.
288
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:24,041
Good boy!
289
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,739
Smart dog.
290
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:28,002
I hate to break it to you, butI think all dogs can do that.
291
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,481
I'm gonna play outside.
292
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,484
Ow!
293
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:33,703
[ Groans ]
294
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,052
What happened?
295
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,619
And he's fine.
296
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,838
...ish.
297
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,100
I love the guy,
298
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,102
but we're aiminga little bit higher than Luke.
299
00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:42,973
Haley, you kind of want
your kids to get knocked
around a little.
300
00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,018
It toughens them up
for things
301
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,497
that we all go through
in adulthood.
302
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,499
Daddy wins!
303
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,501
Do you believe
in miracles?!
304
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,808
USA! US--
305
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:52,983
Oh, no!
306
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:55,638
Oh, geez!
[ Gasps ]
307
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,074
Oh, my --
What was that?
308
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:57,858
Was that a person
that fell --I'm good!
309
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:58,902
Dad?!
310
00:09:58,946 --> 00:09:59,816
Hey, Dad, think fast.
311
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:03,603
Aren't you being
a little --
312
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,520
But this isn't
an emergen--
313
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,087
[ Grunts ][ Taser clicking ]
314
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:12,524
[ Grunts ]
315
00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:13,221
[ Groans ]
316
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,658
Now it i-i-i-i-is!
317
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,791
I mean, sure, I canno longer taste salt, but --
318
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,662
I know that they're going to get
bumps and bruises,
319
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:22,360
but I'm talking about
psychologicalscars.
320
00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,232
I've had some experience
with that myself.
321
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,668
Kids: Surpri--Phil: Oh, oh!
322
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,887
[ Kids screaming,
glass shatters ]No!
323
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,236
Oh!
324
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:28,889
Claire: No!
No!
325
00:10:28,932 --> 00:10:30,064
I'm sorry!
326
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,239
Nothing's happening!
327
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,327
Oh, my God!
328
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,807
It still haunts her.
329
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,809
Not to be weird,but she still won't let me
330
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,680
mention your nameswhile we're making love.
331
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:38,725
Okay.
332
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:41,075
Well, well, well.
333
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:44,121
Yes,
well, well, well.
334
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,471
I see
your cold is better.
335
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,735
Turns out it was,like, an allergy...thing.
336
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,693
And Pepper's Great Danes?
337
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,695
Oh, uh, well, you know,
they're big dogs.
338
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,958
They -- Um, and they don't,
uh, uh, live long.
339
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,090
So they're --
340
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,569
they're dead.
341
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,702
I must look like
Frederick Seward
342
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,791
during the Alaska Purchase,
343
00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:04,620
because, apparently, you think
that I'll buy anything.
344
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,100
Gloria, okay, okay.
345
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:07,754
We're s-- We're sorry --
We're sorry we lied to you,
346
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,843
but if it makes you
feel any better,
347
00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,714
Longinus took
this really great photo of you
348
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,760
at the Shakira concert
the night that you missed
349
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,544
Lily's clarinet recital
because of pink eye.
350
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,588
Ohh!
351
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:17,589
[ Chuckles ]
352
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,591
I see
that you've been waiting
353
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:20,941
to spring that attack
on me,
354
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:24,205
just like Andrew Jackson
in the Battle of New Orleans.
355
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,641
Is this my life now?
356
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,773
I'm gonna
use the restroom.
357
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,297
Will someone order
the table-side baked potatoes?
358
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,429
I mean, that's half of why
you come here -- for the show.
359
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:35,216
Public restroom,
huh?
Mm.
360
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,609
Shame he can't go
in the privacy of his own car.
361
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,873
It's true. The RVdoes have a bathroom.
362
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,005
And a bolted-down
Mr. Coffee,
363
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:43,964
bear-proof
undercarriage food bins.
364
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,792
And how many mileswould you say is on it?
365
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:46,836
Wait!
366
00:11:47,837 --> 00:11:49,665
You're selling her
on Craigslist?
367
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,319
And this isn't even
a good picture!
368
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,755
This is her bad side!
369
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,018
Hey, look, I get the value
of an RV, Claire.
370
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:58,587
There is so much natural beauty
to explore here in California.
371
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:00,110
The Golden State!
372
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,851
Are you really trying to get outof moving to Missouri?
373
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:03,026
No, no!
374
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:06,813
Sounds like what we need is
a Missouri Compromise.
375
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,772
Gloria, are you drugging
Grandpa's Potato-tini?
376
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,774
You saw
how bent over he is.
377
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:14,168
For some reason,
he's scared of pills,
378
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,213
and I can't watch him
suffer anymore.
379
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,955
I hate it when they get cutewith the bathroom signs.
380
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:21,001
Why would French friesmean ladies
381
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,872
and baked potato gents?
382
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,265
Just throw one of theminto a skirt.
383
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,180
So, uh, Dad,
384
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:29,052
Gloria says that you won't
take pills for your back?
385
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,880
I got to get this
from all sides now?
386
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,143
I don't likewhat they do to me, alright?
387
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,450
They make me
feel super...
388
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,495
Horny? Constipated?
389
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:38,975
Emotional.
390
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:42,065
You know, sometimes you can justride out a pause, buddy.
391
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,372
Anyway, the pain got so bad,
I broke down.
392
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:45,721
I took a couple
in the men's room,
393
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,289
which is the maximum dose,
so strap in.
394
00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:49,464
N-N--
395
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,423
You know,
I'm gonna miss this place.
396
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,468
[ Guitar strumming ]
397
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,209
Look, Spuddy Holly!
398
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,950
He just about said it all,
didn't he?
399
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:59,517
"Scalloped, fried, lyonnaise.
400
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,955
[ Voice breaking ]
Spuds' potatoes do amaze."
401
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,610
Four pills?
Is he gonna be okay?
402
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:06,960
He can handle it.
403
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,004
Dad lived throughthe closet scene in the '80s.
404
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:09,179
So did I.
405
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,573
Oh, my God. He's talking
to Lily and Dylan!
406
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,097
I'mDylan.
407
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:17,100
You know, Randy,
you remind me of a young me,
408
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:19,624
prowling Saigon
with a Vietnamese beauty.
409
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,061
There was
this one bar I used to --Let's go.
410
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,976
Let's get you
some black coffee.
411
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:25,979
[ Singsong voice ]Peekaboo! George! Poppy!
412
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,981
[ High-pitched ]
Hello? Is anybody home?
413
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,723
[ Normal voice ] What gives?
Mister Napkin usually kills.
414
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:32,942
Who wanted coffee?
415
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,074
Ah, here!
416
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:34,988
Ohh!Ohh!
417
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:36,076
[ Twins laugh ]
418
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,991
They're laughing!See? They're psychos!
419
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:40,863
Ay! Sorry, mister.
Are you okay?
420
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:43,866
I actually don't feel anything,
which is even more scary.
421
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,955
Don't be scared
to feel, buddy.
422
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,565
You could end up
running away
423
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:50,264
from an emotional situationwith your kids,
424
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:53,136
and those are alwaysthe most rewarding.
425
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:54,572
You ask me,
you're lucky.
426
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:55,922
She dumped me by text
427
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,011
while making outwith her old boyfriend.
428
00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,360
I broke down crying.
429
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,971
My charcoal ran
like mascara.
430
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,365
I had to be comfortedby the other team's mascot.
431
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:05,975
Lucky?
432
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,455
Aw, I'm not
gonna lie to you.
433
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:11,241
It sucks, and sometimes
it's got to suck for a while.
434
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:13,591
I just wish
I could say some magic words
435
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,724
or give you a hug,
make it all go away.
436
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,034
[ Voice breaking ]In a way, he raised
me.
437
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,514
Pull yourself together,
man!
438
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,255
Phil: Haley, um,
439
00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:28,955
I think what your...chemically humanized grandfather
440
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,566
is trying to say is that
kids are built to last.[ Chuckles ]
441
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,133
Sure, they --
they go through stuff,
442
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,961
but they survive, especially
when you're around to help.
443
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:37,964
[ Voice breaking ]
I miss him.
444
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,053
Yeah.
445
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,490
He wasyour first real boyfriend.
446
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:45,493
I keep expecting him
to show up.
447
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:48,583
He used to come by at night,
and I'd sneak out to see him.
448
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:49,976
Yeah, I know.
449
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,368
You knew?
450
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:55,198
His car is 30 years oldand doesn't have a muffler.
451
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,460
And he honked.
452
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,073
I loved that car.
453
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,552
I know it hurts now,sweetheart,
454
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:05,687
but that's how you know it wasa relationship worth having.
455
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:10,213
[ Sniffles ]
456
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:13,129
Aw.
457
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:14,826
Well, what happened?
458
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:15,740
Did he come back?
459
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,742
That --
460
00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,092
That was you, buddy.
461
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,616
I love this kid.
462
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,226
I remember
when he was a baby.
463
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,401
[ Laughs ]
464
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:26,882
We met my senior year
of high school.
465
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,318
Who does everyone
think I am?
466
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,451
Jay: [ Chuckling ]
You know, it's --
467
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,541
Thing about babies, you --
you fall in love with a baby
468
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,586
with the cutest
little fat folds,
469
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,675
and then -- bam --
they're gone.
470
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,895
But it's okay,
because in its place
471
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,202
is this...toddler
472
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,378
with the greatest laugh
on Earth.
473
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,771
And then one day,
the toddler's gone,
474
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,904
and in its place,
a little kid
475
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,908
that asks the most interesting
questions you've ever heard.
476
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,562
And this keeps going on
like that,
477
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:57,043
but you never get the chance
to miss any of them,
478
00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,829
'cause there's always a new kid
to take the place of the old.
479
00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:02,222
Until they grow up.
480
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,616
And then...in a moment,
481
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:09,185
all those kids
you fell in love with
482
00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:11,187
walk out the door
at the same time.
483
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,276
Jesus.
484
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,625
Oh, I don't mean
to be a bummer.
485
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:17,019
I'm just saying it goes fast.
486
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,456
Like the expression...
487
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,068
"You never know the last time
you pick up your kid."
488
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,504
Phil: The point
we're making, Haley,
489
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,680
is that it's natural
to worry over your kids.
490
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,725
It -- It just means
that you love them.
491
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,467
So, I'm always gonna feel likeI screwed them up somehow?
492
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,295
Kind of.
493
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,210
I mean, eventually,you'll be able to laugh at it --
494
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:37,431
probably around the time
that you're reassuring
your own children
495
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:38,954
that they didn't
screw up theirbabies.
496
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,695
[ Chuckles ] Thanks.
497
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:43,045
No, actually, thank you.
498
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:45,265
It's nice to know, as parents,
that we can still have --
499
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,309
Dad?
500
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,311
I miss picking up
my little girl.
501
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,531
And it won't bethe last time, damn it!
502
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:52,054
Oh!You wanta piggyback ride, honey?
503
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,229
No. No. No.
504
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:54,709
You sure?Okay, I'm calling it.
505
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:55,840
[ Cellphone ringing ]Oh, my gosh!
506
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:56,928
Okay, this is it!
507
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:57,886
[ Cellphone beeps ]Uh...
508
00:16:57,929 --> 00:16:59,192
Hello?
509
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,976
[ Footsteps depart ]
510
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,457
The French fries
were only okay.Phil: Sorry about that.
511
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,894
Took a minute
getting Jay to his car.
Mm.
512
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:08,114
He saw a cloud that looked like
his old football coach,
513
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:10,203
and he didn't
want to be alone.
Ohh!
514
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,683
Turned out to be kind ofa fun night, huh?
Yeah.
515
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:13,902
Yeah.
516
00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:16,339
By the way...
517
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:19,168
I got a response
to my Craigslist ad.
518
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,996
Oh.
Oh, that was fast.
519
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,215
Yeah.
520
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,955
Yeah, really nice couple,
521
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,348
soon to be
empty nesters --
522
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:28,221
three kids,
two new grandkids.
523
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,136
Wife's a little high-strung.
524
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,920
Husband's a bit
of an oddball
525
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,791
with an infectious
lust for life.
526
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:35,489
They sound like weirdos.No sale.
527
00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:37,534
Phil,
I'm talking about us.
528
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:38,883
We should keep the RV.
529
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,581
That is amazing.
[ Sighs ]
530
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,800
What changed your mind?
531
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:46,282
I think it was hearing
all those stories tonight.
532
00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:47,718
And the kids'll
be gone soon.
533
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:50,112
We'll probably spend
a lot of time on the road.
534
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:52,941
Might as well do it
in the height of luxury --
535
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:56,292
with a carpeted bathroom
and a four-in-one game table.
536
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:58,120
You're incredible.
Mm.
537
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,122
What did I do to deservea wife cool enough
538
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:03,212
to let me keep my dad's RVand his newborn parrot?
539
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:04,170
His newborn what?
540
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,563
Mmmmmwah.
541
00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:08,391
Honey, parrots live
like 70 to 8--
Mmmmmm.
542
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:11,568
[ Sighs ]
543
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,791
That was not the call
I was expecting.
544
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,923
Sweetie, I know.
545
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:21,361
I-I saw the other coachcelebrating on Instagram,
546
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:23,972
uh, drenching himselfin Gatorade -- in the house.
547
00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,930
There was a rug.Who's gonna clean that up?
548
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,497
Not him, I bet.
549
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,934
I'm reading from your facethat you didn't knowuntil I just told you.
550
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,284
Now I'm just talkingout of nerves.
551
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,415
Damn it! I --
552
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,635
[ Sighs ]
I didn't get it?!
553
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:38,160
I mean, I know I'm hard to read,but I really wanted that job.
554
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,597
I'm so sorry.
C-Come here.
555
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,338
Wait, is that why
you were selling California
556
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:44,035
all night long to me?
557
00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:45,602
Because you wantedto soften the blow when I heard?
558
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:46,560
Yeah.
559
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,518
Well, that is
weirdly sweet.
560
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,346
I'll be there
in a second.Okay.
561
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:54,220
Um...Just wanted to let you know
the donkey story killed.
562
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:55,873
Ha ha!
It totally
broke the ice.
563
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,179
We've been having
so much fun!
564
00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:58,528
Oh, honey!
I'm so happy!
565
00:18:58,572 --> 00:18:59,964
Thanks. Me, too.
566
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,836
He asked if I could go outside
and get ice cream.
567
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:02,576
Can I?
568
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:03,968
O-Of course, yes.
569
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,841
But just make good choices
about the toppings.
570
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,799
Don't get sprinkles.
They're just wax.
571
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,758
[ Chuckles ]
572
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:13,674
Well, now, there'sa smallvictory at least, right?
573
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:16,633
First date was a success,and we get an assist.
574
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,418
S-- Uh, sorry --
football term.
575
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,767
Eh, except it isn't.
576
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,421
Uh, by the way, what wasthat phone call you got?
577
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,250
Oh.
Uh [Chuckles] crazy.
578
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,773
Our adoption agency.
579
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,209
From years ago?
580
00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:30,908
Y-Yeah, apparently, uh, they
were migrating the database,
581
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:34,260
and somehow, our profile got
accidentally reactivated and --
582
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:35,652
and somebody picked us.
583
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,437
Wait, picked us?
584
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,395
A-As in there--
there's a baby?
585
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:40,831
I know. Wild, right?
586
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,833
W-Well, you --
you told them no?
587
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,096
Well, it felt wrong
until I talked to you about it,
588
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,360
but, yeah,
I-I'll -- I will.
589
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:48,317
I'll tell 'em.
590
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:51,886
It was really funtelling those stories tonight.
591
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,017
Yeah.
592
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,932
Really puts losing a job
in perspective.
593
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,456
You know,
none of our best memories
594
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:59,023
have anything to do
with work.
595
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,112
They all have to do
with that little girl
right out there.
596
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,245
Well, you know,she's not so little anymore.
597
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:04,507
[ Chuckles ]
598
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,901
Oh. Oh, I think we're about tohave a hand-holding moment.
599
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,473
You know, we got pretty good
at this parenting thing,
600
00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,561
didn't we?
601
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,478
[ Clicks tongue ]
Um...
602
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,958
so, uh, we -- we have totell the agency tonight?
603
00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:27,487
Well, technically, we have
24 hours to, uh...decide.
604
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:28,270
Okay.
605
00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:31,926
[ Crickets chirping ]
606
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:37,323
Jay.
607
00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:39,063
I'm sorry.
608
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,283
I will never
drug you again.
609
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,677
But it was so nice to see youso open and honest.
610
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,722
Yeah, I was
a regular "Honest Abe."
611
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:46,767
Who's that?
612
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:51,206
It's probably good to be
emotional every now and then.
613
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,905
I should probably practice
letting it out without a pill.
614
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:57,212
Hey, I was proud of you
in that show you did.
615
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,300
I love you!
616
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,781
I know. We had this conversationfour times last night.
617
00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:01,999
Really?
618
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:05,394
Um, maybe you should check
your call history.
619
00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:08,528
Oh, no.
620
00:21:08,571 --> 00:21:09,529
[ Cellphone beeps ]
621
00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:11,357
Jay: You inspire me.
622
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,184
And I think
I'm rude to you sometimes
623
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:15,099
because I'm scared of that,
Phil.
624
00:21:15,143 --> 00:21:16,884
This is a long way of saying
625
00:21:16,927 --> 00:21:20,366
[Voice breaking] I think
I finally have a best friend.
626
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:21,976
You inspire me.
627
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:23,369
And I think
I'm rude to you somet--
628
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:27,851
♪♪
629
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,812
♪♪
45508
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof