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1
00:00:00,190 --> 00:00:02,461
- [WATER RUNNING]
- Hey, we're out of soap.
2
00:00:02,462 --> 00:00:03,999
Oh, okay.
3
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,799
- You know what's weird?
- Hmm?
4
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:10,059
In the last eight years,
I cannot even think of a time
5
00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:12,879
when we ran out of soap.
6
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:17,139
I mean, is our house like
the Hanukkah of soaps?
7
00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:19,399
No, I'm just the miracle of soap
8
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,989
because I've been replacing
it for eight years.
9
00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:23,239
You know, I can totally do that.
10
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,009
Just tell me where to
go and what to get.
11
00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:27,279
I honestly appreciate the offer,
12
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,919
but it's easier for me to just do it
13
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,780
than to walk you through
the steps of it.
14
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,119
Oh, thank you, because I just washed
15
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,199
my whole body with shampoo.
16
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,379
Oh, we're also out of toothpaste,
17
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:37,159
- so I'll get that, too.
- Oh, no, we're not.
18
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,679
Oh, my God! Yes, we are!
19
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,498
You're amazing at this bathroom stuff.
20
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,166
Okay, real quick, without looking...
21
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,626
how many cotton balls do we have left?
22
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:44,919
Six.
23
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,546
You want to know how I knew that?
24
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,809
Uh, because you didn't
grow up with cotton balls,
25
00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:52,299
so you really value every cotton ball?
26
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:55,179
Um, cool backstory, but, no,
27
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,299
it's because I notice everything
that needs to get done
28
00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,249
before it needs to get done.
29
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,849
I'm the manager of the house by default.
30
00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:05,219
Hey, I-I do stuff.
31
00:01:05,220 --> 00:01:06,959
Yes, after I tell you.
32
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,779
You are one of the things I manage.
33
00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:10,987
If you don't believe me, there
are all these articles about it.
34
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,903
- It's called the mental load.
- Ah.
35
00:01:12,904 --> 00:01:15,359
Cool. Cool, cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool.
36
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,740
Send me one of those articles.
37
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,099
Okay, see, me having to remember
38
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:20,622
to send you one of the articles
39
00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:22,669
is an example of my mental load.
40
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,599
And if you Google it,
you can figure it out.
41
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,839
And I know you can Google
42
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,569
because I've seen your search history...
43
00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:29,632
"Flo from Progressive net worth?"
44
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,549
She doesn't even need to do
those commercials anymore!
45
00:01:33,550 --> 00:01:36,929
She just loves her art... and insurance.
46
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,879
? ?
47
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,561
48
00:01:42,562 --> 00:01:44,020
This is so exciting.
49
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,169
I can't believe Friday's
your first school play
50
00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:47,829
and you got cast as Bob,
51
00:01:47,830 --> 00:01:51,903
the cutest
superhero-banana-princess-phone I know.
52
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,679
- I'm gonna go practice my dance.
- Okay.
53
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,698
Yeah.
54
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:59,269
They should not let the kids
pick their own costumes.
55
00:01:59,270 --> 00:02:00,319
[DOOR OPENS]
56
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,579
Oh!
57
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,099
Damn it. What's this giant box
58
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,339
doing in the center of the floor?
59
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,919
Oh, did you want me to fall
over it so you could film it?
60
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,170
Ha ha! No dice!
61
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,089
Dave bought soap.
62
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:12,639
I'm a soap guy now!
63
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,709
Yep. I am the soap girl.
64
00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:17,719
Soap girls have to unpack the soap,
65
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,682
find a place in the house
for 200 bars of soap,
66
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:22,680
break down the box and recycle it,
67
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:26,312
and then buy more soap because
you got the wrong kind.
68
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,939
What are you talking
about? No, I didn't.
69
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:30,317
Uh, "Lumberjack Swagger"?
70
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:36,489
Yeah, it's supposed to release
some of the pheromones.
71
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,049
Okay, see, this conversation counts
72
00:02:39,050 --> 00:02:40,952
as a whole mental load for me.
73
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:44,270
Oh, I love "Barry Mental Load."
74
00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:49,289
No, Deb, mental load...
75
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,579
it's the invisible work
76
00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:53,047
that you do to keep the
household running.
77
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:56,134
Eh, seems like a fake thing.
78
00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:57,929
It's very real.
79
00:02:57,930 --> 00:02:59,469
It's just that, in every marriage,
80
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:02,619
there's one person who always
has to figure stuff out
81
00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:04,810
and one who never has to.
82
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,139
Well, in my day, they
called it "being a mother,"
83
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:11,108
and we didn't complain about it either.
84
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,199
- Davey?
- Mm-hmm?
85
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,499
Davey, I know you're still
talking about, uh, going mental,
86
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:19,240
but could you show me
how to work this thing?
87
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,319
Yeah, I tried looking up
the instructions online,
88
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,019
but every time I Googled "grinder,"
89
00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:24,997
the results were a little surprising.
90
00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:29,379
I will help you with the coffee,
but for the last time,
91
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:32,003
please do not use Google
without me in your presence.
92
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,255
Ohh. He's the best.
93
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:35,749
[CHUCKLING]
94
00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:38,719
Oh, Rebecca, you won
the lotto with this one!
95
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:40,549
See that?
96
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:42,139
I know your mental load is real,
97
00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:45,549
but I have my own mental
load... my parents.
98
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:47,310
It's not the same.
99
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,020
Oh, it's not the same?
100
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:51,319
Have you ever tried to
help my mom figure out
101
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,980
what actress she's thinking of?
102
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:56,019
She never knows if it's
Laura Linney or Laura Dern,
103
00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:58,697
but every single time, it's Demi Moore.
104
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,530
Okay, your parents may be difficult,
105
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,368
but you don't have to do that stuff.
106
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,769
This coming from the
queen of doing things
107
00:04:05,770 --> 00:04:06,788
she doesn't have to do.
108
00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:10,049
I mean, you vacuum-seal
our kids' winter wardrobe
109
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,752
so that it doesn't get
attacked by moths.
110
00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:13,899
And do we really have
to call them moths?
111
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,039
We're so PC.
112
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,174
Can't they just be ugly butterflies?
113
00:04:17,175 --> 00:04:21,320
Okay, see, the fact that you
don't know what moths are
114
00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:24,449
is a testament to my mental load.
115
00:04:24,450 --> 00:04:26,649
Okay. Fine.
116
00:04:26,650 --> 00:04:30,144
If your mental load is so
tough, let's swap loads.
117
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,429
Really? You want this load?
118
00:04:32,430 --> 00:04:34,769
- I want that load.
- Okay, fine.
119
00:04:34,770 --> 00:04:37,560
I will take your parents. Loads swapped.
120
00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:38,659
But everything that pops up
121
00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,906
on the family calendar, that's all you.
122
00:04:40,907 --> 00:04:42,239
- Okay.
- Okay.
123
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,799
- Done and done.
- Cool.
124
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,359
- Quick "Q."
- Mm-hmm.
125
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,959
Now, this family calendar
that I check every day,
126
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,079
where would this be located?
127
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,879
It's an app that comes with your phone.
128
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,749
Here, I'm gonna turn
on your notifications.
129
00:04:55,750 --> 00:05:01,551
[PHONE CHIMING]
130
00:05:01,552 --> 00:05:03,059
You hear that?
131
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,049
That's the sound of my nightmares.
132
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:08,329
Well, it doesn't have to be anymore,
133
00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:11,379
because it's things
that I have to do now.
134
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:14,429
- Yep.
- Starting with "organizing the garage."
135
00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:16,482
- Easy peasy.
- Ugh.
136
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,339
Not really, because
organizing the garage
137
00:05:18,340 --> 00:05:20,179
is something you kind of
have to do the right way,
138
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:21,979
or else it'll just cause more work.
139
00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:24,039
Baby. Baby, baby, baby, baby.
140
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,029
Chill, chill, chill, chill.
141
00:05:26,030 --> 00:05:27,660
- Okay.
- Okay?
142
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,799
I got this. I got your piles.
143
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,910
- I got your load.
- Okay.
144
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:33,332
Just please don't mess up my garage.
145
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,127
Okay, just please don't
mess up my parents.
146
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,459
Yeah, I better be careful.
147
00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:39,359
One misstep, and they
could lose their home
148
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,750
and end up living with their kid.
149
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:45,899
? ?
150
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,347
What are you doing here?
151
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,017
This is my garage.
What are you doing here?
152
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,269
I have to go to a dinner party tomorrow,
153
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,779
and I can't show up empty-handed.
154
00:05:53,780 --> 00:05:56,059
Luckily, Rebecca stashes
hostess gifts in here,
155
00:05:56,060 --> 00:06:00,776
and because I'm a good person,
I bring things... your things.
156
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,459
Well, I'm supposed to be organizing
157
00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:03,699
the garage for Rebecca,
158
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:05,899
but all these piles everywhere,
159
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,109
it's insane.
160
00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:08,159
Look at this stuff.
161
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,909
"Donate," "trash," "keep... important."
162
00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:14,541
Pool noodles, regular noodles,
Cups O Noodles.
163
00:06:14,550 --> 00:06:17,259
This could be the perfect example
164
00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:19,460
of how Rebecca makes life
harder than it needs to be.
165
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,964
I don't know. I feel like she
has a pretty good system.
166
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,539
[PHONE CHIMES]
167
00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:27,839
[SIGHS] Man, I have to return
a book to the library?
168
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,514
Could you please drop it off for me?
169
00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:30,579
To the library?
170
00:06:30,580 --> 00:06:33,139
I don't know the route to 1997.
171
00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:34,699
Thanks, Joanna.
172
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:37,480
This has been even less
helpful than usual.
173
00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:38,889
Davey?
174
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:40,619
Can you help me find my wallet?
175
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:42,789
I... I think I left it at a restaurant.
176
00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:45,359
Oh! Interesting.
177
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,324
You lose your wallet right
when you owe me money.
178
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,359
Why would you ever
borrow money from her?
179
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,662
Well, you weren't answering your phone.
180
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:53,664
- Dad?
- Yeah?
181
00:06:53,665 --> 00:06:54,879
Money by Monday,
182
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,239
or season two of "The Crown"... spoiled!
183
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,999
That can't happen!
184
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,040
Dad, the show is based on history.
185
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,714
It should've been spoiled
for you in high school.
186
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,349
You know what? Just
help me find my wallet.
187
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:06,549
Please, come on.
188
00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:09,304
Okay. What restaurant
were you last at with it?
189
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:11,919
The restaurant with the
amazing tap water.
190
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:12,929
[LAUGHS]
191
00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:15,019
Okay. You know what?
192
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,819
This is not my problem this week.
193
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:19,089
Rebecca and I have
switched mental loads,
194
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,149
so why don't you go ask her for help?
195
00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:22,620
I'm a mental load?
196
00:07:24,940 --> 00:07:26,480
Ouch.
197
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:30,019
? ?
198
00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:32,030
REBECCA: I know we're
gonna find your wallet.
199
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,499
Okay, let's just retrace your steps.
200
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,879
Okay, fine. All right. So,
we get here... boom...
201
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,139
stand here, marvel at the beautiful way
202
00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:40,168
they incorporated all
this beer-sponsored art.
203
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,999
Okay, I sanitized my hands... ba-boom.
204
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,499
You know, I think this
is gonna be awhile,
205
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,699
so I'm gonna sit right over here,
206
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,839
and maybe they'll bring
me some free crunchies
207
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,840
and avocado sauce.
208
00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,931
You mean chips and guacamole?
209
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:56,142
What'd I say?
210
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,079
Sat here... boom... I eat, I eat.
211
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,299
Okay, get up, I get
into it with the busboy
212
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,779
about who's the best
wartime president...
213
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:04,699
[CLEARS THROAT] McKinley... zuh.
214
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,009
Oh, God. You threw your wallet away?
215
00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:08,509
Ugh. It looks that way.
216
00:08:08,510 --> 00:08:10,948
Oh, I hoped it wouldn't
come to this, but, uh,
217
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:13,325
I think we're gonna
need the rubber gloves.
218
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,379
- Oh, here I come.
- What do you mean,
219
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:15,749
the rubber gloves?
220
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:16,829
You've done this before?
221
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,749
Here. Let us know what you find.
222
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:21,720
? ?
223
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,549
I really thought we'd find
your wallet in the trash.
224
00:08:27,550 --> 00:08:29,459
Oh, we did find Eric Dougherty's,
225
00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:32,089
so it's not a total failure.
226
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:35,459
Oh, look, he's an organ donor.
Heh. Not this guy.
227
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:39,269
I don't want some schmuck using
these eyes to watch the Yankees.
228
00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:41,899
Okay, Stew, we need to call and cancel
229
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:44,059
all of your credit cards
and reorder new ones.
230
00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:46,319
And my roadside-assistance card.
231
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,819
If whoever stole my
wallet's car breaks down,
232
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,239
I want him stuck there... schmuck!
233
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,654
Somebody didn't steal it.
234
00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:56,019
- You lost it.
- And then they stole it,
235
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,619
or else we would've found
it at the restaurant
236
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,739
with the amazing tap water.
237
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:03,320
Meanwhile, what's Stew supposed
to do without his credit cards?
238
00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:04,919
What if he needs his Seltzer?
239
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,499
- He gets so parched.
- Thank you.
240
00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:10,019
Well, I can set up Apple Pay
or Venmo on your phone
241
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:13,219
so you can buy essentials on
your own and stop relying on us.
242
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,471
See, this is Dave's problem.
243
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,869
He does everything for you guys.
244
00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:19,016
That's why he's so overwhelmed.
245
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:22,389
Well, I could think of another reason.
246
00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:23,894
Okay, Stew, hand me your phone.
247
00:09:23,895 --> 00:09:27,239
Oh, if you're doing the phone,
will you do mine, too?
248
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,059
Find all my subscriptions
and cancel them.
249
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,905
Okay. Debbie, what's your password?
250
00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:35,559
Uh, oh, well, it's either
Dave's birthday,
251
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:40,079
my birthday, my old Brooklyn
address with a typo in it, or...
252
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,729
oh, there's just so many of them,
253
00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:43,449
and it's all so random.
254
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,126
You know what?
255
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,794
Let me know when you figure it out.
256
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,939
? ?
257
00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:50,569
[PHONE CHIMES]
258
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:52,829
Oh, my God. I got to
prepare dinner already?
259
00:09:52,830 --> 00:09:54,839
I'm not even halfway through the garage.
260
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,639
Tried taking all of this
stuff to the donate center,
261
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,719
but they wouldn't take any of it.
262
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,724
Oh, those donation centers
are way too picky.
263
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,139
That's why, when you kids were small,
264
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,810
I just dumped everything
on the side of the road.
265
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,339
I'm sorry... did you just say
you dumped all your trash
266
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,770
on the side of the road?
267
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,059
Yeah. That's what people do.
268
00:10:12,060 --> 00:10:14,839
That's why you see all the time
all those candles and flowers
269
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,150
and picture frames along the highway.
270
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,059
No, Ma, those... those are memorials
271
00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:22,780
for people killed in car accidents.
272
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,789
[GASPS]
273
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,030
Oy vey!
274
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:31,420
Why don't they put up a
sign, let a person know?
275
00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,679
[PHONE CHIMES]
276
00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:37,479
[EXHALES, GROANS]
277
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,719
"Remember to get the kids flu
shots and look into possible
278
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,889
vacation destinations
2021 'question mark'"?
279
00:10:43,890 --> 00:10:47,105
- I'm never gonna finish all this.
- Can I help you?
280
00:10:47,106 --> 00:10:48,679
No. No.
281
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,399
I cannot let you take on
any of my mental load.
282
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,139
Although...
283
00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:55,859
maybe that's Rebecca's
problem, you know?
284
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:57,030
She doesn't delegate.
285
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,867
Yes, delegating is a
form of true leadership.
286
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,779
Yes, you're right. Okay.
287
00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:05,879
So I will go handle this, which
I am more than capable of,
288
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,369
and you can, uh, help
me organize the garage.
289
00:11:08,370 --> 00:11:10,068
Wait a minute. I think
that I would be better
290
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:11,649
with planning the vacation.
291
00:11:11,650 --> 00:11:14,423
I could be very creative
with the right AmEx.
292
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,689
Me and Daddy took two weeks.
293
00:11:16,690 --> 00:11:18,529
We went to South Africa.
294
00:11:18,530 --> 00:11:20,846
We came back changed!
295
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,973
You came back broke.
296
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:26,310
? ?
297
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,439
That's good. One...
298
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:29,629
Uh, yes, Stew?
299
00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:32,816
I'm in the middle of helping
Asher memorize his lines.
300
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,693
- I'm a star!
- Hey!
301
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,071
I know you are!
302
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,782
Uh, Rebecca, I'm having
a Venmo emergency.
303
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:42,326
Dad, where's my 50 bucks?
304
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,549
'Cause I was just thinking of
season two of "The Crown,"
305
00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:47,039
when the British Treasury...
306
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,667
Oh, no, pl... You'll get your money!
307
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,462
I just need to learn how to use Venmo.
308
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,899
Come here. You just
type her name in there.
309
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:59,359
- No, no, you do it. You do it.
- No, no, please... I can't!
310
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,839
You got to learn to
take care of yourself.
311
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:01,959
Oy. All right. Here we go.
312
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,265
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. Okay.
313
00:12:03,266 --> 00:12:06,179
And $50 for Joanna.
314
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:07,499
And... send.
315
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,519
Did you get it?
316
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,709
Nope. Hmm.
317
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:14,099
I'm thinking about when
a fog rolled in...
318
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,628
- Aw, come on, come on! Please just do it.
- Oh, dear Lord.
319
00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:17,789
Gimme the phone.
320
00:12:17,790 --> 00:12:18,819
Oh, my God.
321
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:21,031
You just sent her $5,000!
322
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:24,529
What?! I love today!
323
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:27,559
Joanna, you owe me $4,950.
324
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:28,957
Money by Monday.
325
00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,059
Nope. I didn't get it.
326
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:32,639
- Oh, no.
- What?
327
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,959
Stew, you just sent a
random person $5,000.
328
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,609
Oh, let me see.
329
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:41,059
Oh, that's... It doesn't
say Joanna Klein.
330
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,979
It says "Joyce Basilone."
331
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:46,432
No idea who she is, but fantastic teeth.
332
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,279
Come on. Can't you just
press the "undo" button?
333
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,519
No, there's not an "undo" button!
334
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,689
Can we just keep this
between the three of us?
335
00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:54,870
And Joyce, can you message her?
336
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,149
Did you do all of this
in the last two hours?
337
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,489
- I'm so good.
- [CHUCKLES]
338
00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:06,899
Well, not me, technically.
339
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:10,329
I hired Dee Rosenthal's two
guys to haul everything away.
340
00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:13,460
I delegated. I'm so good.
341
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:15,619
Wait.
342
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,859
But what happened to all
of Rebecca's "keep" stuff
343
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:22,549
like the "seasonal... keep"
and the "important... keep"?
344
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:26,179
David, you told me to
organize the garage,
345
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,279
and that's what I did.
346
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,209
Mom, this is a problem.
347
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,679
I mean, that stuff said
"keep... important,"
348
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,069
and now it's gone forever.
349
00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:35,659
Look, maybe it wasn't so important.
350
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:37,817
You know how dramatic Rebecca can be.
351
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:40,519
Mom, what happened to all of her stuff?
352
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,839
I don't know!
353
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,529
Dee Rosenthal's guys are very...
354
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:45,825
shifty.
355
00:13:46,530 --> 00:13:48,299
Well, then thank you for inviting them
356
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:50,029
to the place where my children live!
357
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,379
Oh, calm down. You're
getting all wound up.
358
00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:53,499
Let me just call Dee.
359
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,539
She'll handle it in a minute.
360
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,378
Hi. It's Deb.
361
00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:00,140
[CHUCKLES] Uh-huh.
362
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,450
Uh-huh.
363
00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:04,629
Uh-huh.
364
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:06,799
Okay, thanks.
365
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,055
She's in surgery.
366
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:11,016
? ?
367
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,684
Ugh.
368
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,719
- Oh. [CLEARS THROAT]
- Hey!
369
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,729
- Hey.
- Hey, what ya doing?
370
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,499
Oh, just playing this
trivia game on my phone.
371
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,579
- Oh.
- Ah.
372
00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:23,719
"What is Venmo's refund policy?"
373
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,240
That's a random question.
374
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,399
I actually know that one.
375
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,868
There is no refund policy.
376
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:32,179
Yeah, my mom one time tried
to Venmo someone $10
377
00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:34,039
and instead Venmo'd them $20,
378
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,917
and let me tell you, it was a disaster!
379
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,336
That's why I took Venmo
off their phones.
380
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,319
Cool. Top score!
381
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,091
Anyway, as far as the garage
goes, everything is going great.
382
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,289
One thing... um, that pile labeled
383
00:14:46,290 --> 00:14:50,049
"keep... important,"
you know, what is that?
384
00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:52,540
Is it my birthday gift?
If it is, cough once,
385
00:14:52,550 --> 00:14:54,459
and I promise I won't ruin the surprise.
386
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,419
Oh, I'm so excited.
387
00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:58,603
It's Asher's costume
for the school play.
388
00:14:58,604 --> 00:15:02,109
I couldn't label it "costume,"
because he can read now.
389
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,612
His kindergarten teacher
really screwed us.
390
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:07,782
Yeah! Yeah, she did. Ha!
391
00:15:09,180 --> 00:15:11,949
And that terrible
kid-written play is the one
392
00:15:11,950 --> 00:15:13,699
where Asher plays the character
393
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:15,699
whose costume can be found at the mall?
394
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:18,149
Uh, I'm pretty sure they don't have
395
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:22,169
superhero-banana-princess-phone
costumes at the mall.
396
00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:23,659
Right, yeah. Right.
397
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:25,757
Target? Costco? CVS? Anything? No?
398
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,199
No!
399
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:31,129
? ?
400
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,539
What is wrong with you?
401
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:35,350
You are so bad at life.
402
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,889
Why would you ever ask Mom for help?
403
00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:40,439
She thinks the recycling bin
is for blue trash only.
404
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,740
I wanted to prove to Rebecca
that her mental load
405
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,919
wasn't that stressful, but then
I got stressed out doing it
406
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,109
because, honestly,
it's a little stressful.
407
00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,699
What's the best lie you
could think of right now?
408
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,826
"You're gonna be fine"?
409
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,239
Crap!
410
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,760
There's no
superhero-princess-banana-phone costume
411
00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:59,291
available for next-day shipping.
412
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,529
Really?
413
00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:02,211
Shocking.
414
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:04,659
You think anyone will notice
if I just threw him out there
415
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:05,669
in his pajamas?
416
00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:07,132
Who am I kidding?
417
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,801
Dee Rosenthal's guys
threw those out, too.
418
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,471
How's she doing?
I heard she's in surgery.
419
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,724
Still no word.
420
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:18,379
What am I supposed to do,
just make the costume myself
421
00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:21,021
out of fabric and glue and googly eyes?
422
00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,389
You mean like how Rebecca did it?
423
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:24,734
Yeah, that's exactly what
you're supposed to do.
424
00:16:24,735 --> 00:16:26,919
[PHONE CHIMES]
425
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,729
"Don't forget to return
book to the library."
426
00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:31,533
You see the bind you put me in?!
427
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,959
You could've just dropped the book off!
428
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,040
I had work.
429
00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:39,164
? ?
430
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,599
Damn it, Joyce.
431
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,668
Joyce, I can't hear you.
432
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,709
Well, can you leave the
luau for just a minute?!
433
00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:47,279
Please, my father-in-law
434
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,709
is in no position to send you $5,000!
435
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,549
Why are you laughing?
436
00:16:52,550 --> 00:16:54,149
Joyce? Joyce?
437
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:56,119
Damn it, Joyce!
438
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,780
[SIGHS]
439
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,110
What...
440
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:14,729
Ow! Damn it!
441
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:16,493
Princess-banana-phone!
442
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,439
Dave?
443
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:22,069
Uh, yeah, Ravi, I do think that
that house is a good one to flip
444
00:17:22,070 --> 00:17:23,849
and we will make a bunch of cash.
445
00:17:23,850 --> 00:17:27,009
Uh, roger, roger. Love you.
446
00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:28,959
Gonna hang up that toy phone?
447
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,840
I can't.
448
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,135
I hot-glued it to my face.
449
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,159
It's okay. It's okay.
450
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,539
- It's okay.
- Are you sure?
451
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:38,808
It happens to everyone.
452
00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:40,039
- Really?
- No.
453
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,379
Ow! My sideburn!
454
00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:45,356
What are you doing gluing things
at 2:00 in the morning, anyway?
455
00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:49,049
Wait. Where are all my piles?
456
00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:50,403
- [CHUCKLES]
- [GASPS]
457
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:52,359
Funny story.
458
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,659
You know, um, my mom's distant friend
459
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,399
Dee Rosenthal that you've never met
460
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,369
and who died earlier today in surgery?
461
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,479
- No.
- Anyway, it's her fault.
462
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,059
I asked my mom to help
me clean out the garage,
463
00:18:03,060 --> 00:18:04,229
and she called Dee Rosenthal,
464
00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:06,539
who has guys who threw everything out,
465
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:07,860
including Asher's costume.
466
00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:10,399
Keep in mind... this was
the last phone call
467
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,380
Dee Rosenthal ever made.
468
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:14,599
You lost Asher's costume?!
469
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,260
I can't believe you.
470
00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:18,509
How do you know how to do it all?
471
00:18:18,510 --> 00:18:19,519
I don't.
472
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,959
No one tells me what to
do or how to do things.
473
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,270
I just figure it out myself
because someone has to.
474
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:27,022
I'm human garbage, I know.
475
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,732
But I'm gonna make the costume,
476
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,299
and I'm gonna get us more winter jackets
477
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:31,899
even if it takes me all year.
478
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:33,719
But we don't have all year.
479
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,073
Winter is coming!
480
00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:38,659
I know, and I failed,
481
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:41,819
and you probably handled
my parents no problem.
482
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:44,666
Okay, well, you made
a mistake. It happens.
483
00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:46,869
I'm so lucky.
484
00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:47,959
- Seriously.
- Oh, hey.
485
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,760
You know, here I am screwing up
486
00:18:49,770 --> 00:18:51,539
all over the place, left and right,
487
00:18:51,540 --> 00:18:53,179
and you're just being so understanding.
488
00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:55,349
Wait.
489
00:18:55,350 --> 00:18:57,136
Why are you being so understanding?
490
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,779
[SIGHS] Okay, so,
491
00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:02,263
you know how you have that dad
who's bad with technology?
492
00:19:02,264 --> 00:19:04,399
Yeah, I know how I have that dad.
493
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,519
Yeah. So... [SIGHS]
494
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,524
I put him in the perfect
place to lose $5,000.
495
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,484
$5,000?
496
00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:15,099
That's like three more months
of them living with us!
497
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,969
I know. I'm sorry.
498
00:19:16,970 --> 00:19:18,640
Your load is really hard.
499
00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:21,720
I know.
500
00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:26,039
And your load is even harder.
501
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,500
I mean...
502
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,979
you have to think about it every
day for the last eight years,
503
00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:34,699
and I've only had to think about my load
504
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,000
for, like, the last two months.
505
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,119
Aww. Thanks, sweetie.
506
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,589
Mwah.
507
00:19:40,590 --> 00:19:42,556
Now, what do you say
we take off this shirt...
508
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:45,892
- Yes.
- ... and make it into a cape?
509
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,602
Perfect.
510
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,939
? ?
511
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:54,109
Where's my little star?
512
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:57,139
Grammy's got flowers for him.
513
00:19:57,140 --> 00:20:00,509
Yeah, and I got him a
fake Oscar at the mall.
514
00:20:00,510 --> 00:20:03,719
But I lost it, so, Rebecca, will
you help us retrace our steps?
515
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,872
I think we may have left
it at Orange Julius.
516
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:10,249
Thanks for bringing these, Mom,
but now I got to find a scissor,
517
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,299
cut the stems, recycle the plastic wrap,
518
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,719
dig a vase out of God knows
where, fill it with water
519
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,044
and that flower powder,
520
00:20:16,045 --> 00:20:18,259
get rid of the pollen
and the dead petals
521
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,279
that fall throughout the week,
522
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:20,729
until eventually I have
to throw out the flowers
523
00:20:20,730 --> 00:20:23,306
because they stunk up
the house, so thank you.
524
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:25,516
David... shut up!
525
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:29,039
I was just trying to be nice.
526
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,099
You're beginning to sound like Rebecca.
527
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,899
Yeah. He really does.
528
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,150
- Mm.
- Hey!
529
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,619
I found my wallet!
530
00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:39,760
It was in the burrito container!
531
00:20:39,770 --> 00:20:41,656
Stew wins!
532
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,149
Stew wins.
533
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:46,369
? ?
534
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,329
So, after all that,
535
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:52,219
his superhero-banana-princess
costume was just made up.
536
00:20:52,220 --> 00:20:53,559
Yeah, I guess so.
537
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,129
He's so creative...
538
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,464
and so embarrassing.
539
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,320
I like that he stands out.
540
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,679
I don't think he looks any different.
541
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,558
Stew, take off your sunglasses.
542
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,420
Oh, Jesus, this is a nightmare.
543
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,819
Can you guys shut up?
I'm trying to record this.
544
00:21:14,820 --> 00:21:16,019
- We'll be quiet.
- So sorry.
545
00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:17,689
I was whispering.
546
00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:21,870
547
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:26,470
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