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1
00:00:02,219 --> 00:00:04,656
[ "Pomp and Circumstance"
plays ]
2
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:07,616
Jessica, our son isvaledictorian of Harvard.
3
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:08,791
Crazy.
4
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,053
Louis, pipe down.
5
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,490
I gave you one rule
for today, remember?
6
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,275
[ Boston accent ] Don't talkin a wicked Boston accent
7
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:15,189
to order lobster chowder?
8
00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:16,886
Okay, fine.
Two rules.
9
00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:19,584
And it's not crazy
he's up there.
10
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:21,804
He's always shown
signs of greatness.
11
00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:24,459
Breakfast is served, suckas.[ Warbling ]
12
00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:27,940
Boom. A literal food pyramid
made from all 10 food groups.
13
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:29,638
Frozen fish sticks
form the base,
14
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,379
so give her a sec to thaw
before diving in.
15
00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:33,685
10 food groups?Why is it moving?
16
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:36,471
I still can't believe
you got a 1500 on your SAT.
17
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,168
I still can't believeyou haven't told Mom yet.
18
00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:39,474
Boys, think.
19
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,476
I'm a high-school junior
who doesn't listen well.
20
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,043
Fair.Cautiously following.
21
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,566
I'll tell Mom my score
22
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,437
when I really need
a get-out-of-jail-free card,
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00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:48,700
like, for example,
I'm in jail.
24
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,746
Yeah.Eddie, clean up the mess
you made in the kitchen.
25
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,835
I got a 1500
on my SATs.
26
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,271
What?!
Wow.
27
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:57,057
[ Laughs ]
Eddie, I can't believe it!
28
00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,190
I did it.
29
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,279
--Captions by VITAC--
30
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:03,585
♪ Fresh off the boat
31
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,413
♪ I'm gettin' mine
everywhere I go ♪
32
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,502
♪ If you don't know, homey,
now you know ♪
33
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:08,938
♪ Fresh off the boat
34
00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:11,201
♪ Homey, you don't know
where I come from ♪
35
00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:12,637
♪ But I know where I'm goin'
36
00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:15,205
♪ I'm fresh off the boat
37
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:19,731
You really got a 1500
on the SAT?
38
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,951
Yep. A 750 on
the verbal and...
39
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:23,518
whatever's left in math.
40
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,389
Amazing.
I'm so proud of you.
41
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,260
Thank you.
42
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:27,913
See, Louis?
43
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:31,308
Me pushing Eddie all these years
is finally paying off.
44
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,528
Top-tier colleges
are back in play.
45
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:34,659
The football teams
get worse,
46
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,226
but the starting salaries
skyrocket.
47
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,054
You did fill in the oval
48
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,187
letting schools get
your test scores, right?
49
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:43,494
I filled in every oval I saw --you know, better my chances.
50
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:44,887
1500, ladies and germs.
51
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,107
1-5-0-0.
52
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,195
Well, I better clean
my pyramid mess.
53
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:49,935
No, no, no.
You stay.
54
00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,111
You deserve to rest.
55
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:53,025
[ All gasp ]
56
00:01:53,069 --> 00:01:54,940
I'll do the dishes.
What the heck.
57
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:57,247
Maybe I'll even reconnect
the dishwasher.
58
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:58,205
[ Boys gasp ]
59
00:01:58,248 --> 00:01:59,249
[ Gasps ]
60
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,209
[ Sighs ]
61
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,819
Was that a hug?
62
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,690
I've never seen your mother
this happy.
63
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,388
That includes
our wedding day,
64
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,824
but definitely
not our wedding night.
65
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,217
We went for it.
66
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:11,218
Gross.
67
00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:12,958
I don't trust this.
68
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:14,743
It's like when a stranger offersyou candy to get in their van.
69
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:16,962
I mean, you take it --
free candy --
70
00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:18,268
but it never ends well.
71
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,356
Please tell me
you've never gotten in
72
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,357
a stranger's van before.
73
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,359
Eddie, your mom
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00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,708
doesn't get to
experience pure joy often.
75
00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,928
She refuses to watch
"Police Academy,"
76
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:28,670
doesn't "get dogs,"
calls Weird Al a hack.
77
00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:29,758
Let her have this.
78
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,803
Eddie,
forget the kitchen.
79
00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:33,370
We're going out
to celebrate!
80
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:36,243
Cele-what?
Girl, I got school.
81
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,375
Not today.
School can wait.
82
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:39,376
[ All gasp ]
83
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,248
[ Gasps, chuckles ]
84
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:43,554
Dibs on the first
dishwasher load.
85
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,429
♪ Baby, I got your money
86
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:50,344
♪ Hey, Dirty
87
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:54,261
♪ Baby, I got your money,
don't you worry ♪
88
00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,611
♪ I said hey, Dirty
89
00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,656
♪ Baby, I got your money
90
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,268
♪ Hey, Dirty
91
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,400
[ Rapping ]
♪ Dance if you caught up in
the Holy Ghost trance ♪
92
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,489
♪ If you stop, I'm-a putthe killer ants in your pants ♪
93
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,839
♪ I'm the ODB, as you can see
94
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,320
♪ I'm just Dirt Dog trying
to make some money ♪
95
00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,757
♪ So give me my streaks
and give me my honey ♪
96
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,411
♪ None of you, nuh,
better look at me funny ♪
97
00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,284
♪ Nuh, you know my name,
now gimme my money ♪
98
00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:18,589
♪ Hey
99
00:03:18,633 --> 00:03:20,765
Man, I look like
"Boyz n the Hood" Ice Cube,
100
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:21,418
Asian-boy edition.
101
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,246
Dope.
102
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,726
Motherand oval-filling son.
103
00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:25,857
This stays here.
104
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,032
I don't wantyour Ivy League roommates
105
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,557
drooling overyour mother's flawless skin.
106
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,341
I don't know
about the Ivy League.
107
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:34,518
I do!
That 1500 changed the game.
108
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,172
We need to update
your life-chart.
109
00:03:38,348 --> 00:03:39,915
Evan has dibs
on president,
110
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,264
but we can Kennedy
this thing,
111
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,657
and you could be
his attorney general.
112
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,573
Emery can be the drunk
with the square head.
113
00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,401
[ Sighs ]
114
00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:51,492
Oh, no.
115
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:54,146
Mom wrote "A Case of a Knife tothe Brain 2: The Second Knife"?
116
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:55,974
I'm penning my memoir.
117
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:57,672
I want to get
my life story down
118
00:03:57,715 --> 00:04:00,152
before things get intensein high school.
119
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,851
It'll be way less intense
if you keep that to yourself.
120
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,287
I can't be America's firstDoctor-President
121
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:05,462
without publishing
a memoir.
122
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:06,855
I even mocked up a cover.
123
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,902
I'll update the photowhen I'm old enough to run,
124
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,077
maybe grow some stubblefor the ladies --
125
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,253
crucial demo.
126
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,819
Cool.
127
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,299
I've outlined
my next chapter --
128
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,388
"Evan Huang,HOA Vice President."
129
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:25,613
♪♪
130
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,571
Matthew: How do you think
this guy went out?
131
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,007
Big-game hunter,
132
00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,358
or stepped in front
of the wrong logging truck?
133
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,577
Pushing that much girth
around the woods?
134
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:34,361
Heart disease all day.
135
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,232
Hey!
136
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,147
Mom liftedher bumper-sticker ban.
137
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:41,585
She wants you to put this onthe Cattleman's delivery car.
Eddie: Great.
138
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,413
That's what you want on your
bumper during rush hour.
139
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:44,458
Very rear-end-able.
140
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:47,635
You have a minute
to talk?
141
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:48,810
Boss Talk or Dad Talk?
142
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:49,811
Dad Talk.
143
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,291
Okay.
144
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,598
It's me, Dad.
What's up?
145
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,121
So, I've been thinkinga lot about college
146
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,253
ever since our UCLA trip.
147
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,341
Great trip.
148
00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,516
Great trip,
149
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,344
but I don't think I wanta regular school.
150
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:03,520
[ Breathes deeply ]
151
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:04,826
I want to go to
culinary school.
152
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:06,654
Culinary school?
153
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,004
Like for cooking.I know what it means --
sorta.
154
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:11,006
This is big, Eddie.
155
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:12,703
I know you're working
at the restaurant with me,
156
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,879
but I didn't realize you were
that passionate about this.
157
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,317
I didn't either,until it dawned on me
158
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,362
the thing I always getexcited about is food...
159
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,711
[ Fajitas sizzling ]
160
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:24,759
♪♪
161
00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:33,376
♪♪
162
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,465
...creating it,cooking it, eating it.
163
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,727
I love food, Dad!
164
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,990
I love food, too, son.
[ Chuckles ]
165
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,905
I love food, too.
166
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,559
You're following
in my footsteps.
167
00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,605
[ Chuckles ]
Uh, my restaurant footsteps,
168
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,650
not my Cha Cha King of Taipei
footsteps.
169
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,130
Ain't nobody
following those.
170
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:49,958
Well, I'm glad you're opento culinary school.
171
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,133
Ma won't be.
172
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:52,482
Yeah.
173
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,136
No way she had this
on my life-chart.
174
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:57,052
Hey, why don't you
make her a meal,
175
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:58,662
show her your stuff,
176
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:00,795
and then we can talk about
culinary school together?
177
00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:02,579
Yeah, that'd be sick!
178
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:03,972
[ Chuckles ]
179
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:08,629
♪♪
180
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,457
"Evan Huang for HOA
Vice President:
181
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,459
One Deidre Heartbeat Away."
182
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,286
You said you worked
as a mall elf
183
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:16,680
to "help
my needy brothers"?
184
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,508
Iworked as a mall elf
to help you!
185
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:19,901
Uh, time out.
186
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,293
You read my memoir?
187
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,643
Please tell me you wore
the document gloves
188
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:23,687
sitting next to it.
189
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,559
You stole my story.
You lied!
190
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,127
I'm just giving readers
what they want -- a hero.
191
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,520
Who cares about
the details?
192
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:31,565
I do.
193
00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:33,393
You can't be presidentif you lie.
194
00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:34,524
It's un-American.
195
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,961
Calling the first
Asian President un-American?
196
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:39,181
Pretty racist.
197
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:41,183
[ Sighs ]
198
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:44,012
♪♪
199
00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,883
This is amazing.
200
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:48,625
Your mom will have toconsider culinary school.
201
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,061
Each dish is inspired
by her --
202
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:52,542
Anti-Hobo Stew,
Chicken a la Stephen King,
203
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,239
Aw Hell Gnocchi.[ Chuckles ]
204
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,720
I was out at the mailbox,
205
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:57,765
and I saw Deidre
in the window.[ Door closes ]
206
00:06:57,808 --> 00:07:00,594
Dummy took 20 minutes
to notice my sweatshirt.
207
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,512
What's all this?Oh, I made dinner for you.
208
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:06,861
Why? [ Gasps ]
209
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,776
Oh, you put a baby
in that redhead, didn't you?
210
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,299
Jessica!
Whoa!
211
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:11,387
No.
212
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,519
I just wanted
to say thank you
213
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,737
for everything
you've done for me.
214
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:15,260
Aww!
215
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,567
You got a 1500
andyou cook.
216
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:20,570
You are going to make some womanI choose a great husband.
217
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,572
[ Sighs ] So, Mom,I was hoping we could talk.
218
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,095
Sure.
219
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,880
What did you want to --
[ Gasps loudly ]
220
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,316
Eddie got a letter
from Harvard.
221
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:28,317
I'll open it so you don't
cut your test fingers.
222
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,232
Okay with you?
Great!
223
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,755
Aah!
224
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,366
[ Inhales deeply ]
"Dear Edwyn Huang,
225
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,151
we received your SAT scores
226
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,805
and want to schedule
an interview
227
00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,502
with one of our alumni"?
228
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,069
[ Screams ]
229
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,853
[ Screams ]
230
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,072
[ Screams ]
231
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,033
Ah!
232
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:51,296
Harvard wants to send an alum
here to my house
233
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:54,082
to interview Eddie,
my son.
234
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,910
Louis: No chance they send
Bill Gates, right?
235
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,695
Because I still can't get
the printer to do landscape.
236
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,741
I got to get moving.
I got to call Connie to gloat.
237
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,699
I got to redecorate the house
to Ivy League standards,
238
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,440
polish the fine china.
239
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,529
Fun fact --
that's my bowling nickname.
240
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,925
Dad, I want to go
to culinary school.
241
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,361
Do I really have to do
this interview?
242
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,580
It'd just be
a waste of time.
243
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:14,537
Not for your mom.
244
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,844
Ho, ho, ho!
245
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:17,758
Not a "yo mama" joke.
Sorry.
246
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,760
Eddie, she's worked hard
247
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,022
your whole lifeto give you this opportunity.
248
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:24,721
Just let her have this,and then we can talkto her about culinary.
249
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:27,202
Fine.
I'll do it -- for her.
250
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,464
Good.
251
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,726
And if,for whatever reason,
252
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,162
cooking school
doesn't pan out...
253
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,773
Pan out. Nice.
254
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:34,078
...Harvard is not
the worst backup.
255
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,819
Speak for yourself.
256
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,734
I ain't built for those
Pennsylvania winters.
257
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:40,432
No, Harvard is...
Yeah.
258
00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,698
Aah! [ Laughs ]
Ahh.
259
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:45,829
Pay up, Barbie.
260
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:48,919
Hey, why are you so quiet there,Emory, huh?
261
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,747
Those freshman girls
got your tongue? [ Laughs ]
262
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,183
Evan's writing a memoir,
263
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,316
and he's stealing stories,making things up.
264
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:55,665
Well,
he's just spinning yarns
265
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,841
like we used to do
in the Navy -- harmless.
266
00:08:57,885 --> 00:08:59,713
Not like those dirty Marines.
267
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:00,844
They're actual liars.
268
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,585
N-- O-kay.
You can g--
269
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,195
Emery, your brother'sin eighth grade.
270
00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:05,719
That's a tough time.
271
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:09,331
He's probably justtooting his own horn.Yeah.
272
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,375
Maybe I am overreacting.
273
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:11,812
I'm glad you guys
think it's okay
274
00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:12,856
since you're all
in his memoir, too.
275
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,597
We are?
Yeah?
Yeah.
276
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,730
You should see how
he described Liza's birth.
277
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,166
[ Inhales sharply ][ Suspenseful music plays ]
278
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:20,081
Oh, Marvin!
Where are the keys?
279
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,387
This baby is coming!I can't find 'em!
280
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:25,216
Oh, this is all too much,even for a Navy man.
281
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,131
[ Gasps ]
Oh, no.
282
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:30,308
Ohh. I'm fainting.
283
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:33,964
Oh, who could blame you?
284
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:37,533
There's not a man alive who canhandle this kind of pressure.
285
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,360
[ Door opens ][ Breathes deeply ]
286
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,580
I will deliver the baby.
287
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,321
[ Heroic fanfare plays ]
288
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,149
Honey, give me
two deep breaths.
289
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:48,196
1, 2...[ Breathing deeply ]
290
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,850
[ Baby cooing ]
291
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,982
There she is.
292
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:54,637
[ Exhales sharply ]We'll call her Liza.
293
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,857
[ Cooing continues ]
294
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,555
I had a 17-hour labor
295
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,949
with a rare diagonal breach,no epidural,
296
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,820
and that nerd is trying totake it away from me?
297
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,822
I warned Evan,
but he didn't listen.
298
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:06,780
He's stubborn.
299
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:09,521
That's why he'll be
a good politician.
300
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,132
He only cares
about the votes.
301
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,482
And Navy men don't faint!
302
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:16,137
They pass out
and hit the ground hard
303
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:19,270
with their pants off and
their shoes on, like men.
304
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,970
[ Wood creaks ]
305
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,842
Why does our house looklike a Vermont B&B
306
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,844
inside a whaling ship?
307
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,151
I want Harvard to feel at home
for Eddie's interview.
308
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,196
The theme is
"New England Snoot."Smart.
309
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,720
[ Door opens ]Eddie: Ma,
310
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:34,982
do I really have
to wear all this?
311
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,592
I mean, look at me.
312
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,333
I want to kick my ass.Eddie, you look great --
313
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:41,945
like a hip1970s IBM executive.
314
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:42,946
[ Doorbell rings ][ Gasps ]
315
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,687
Places.
Places, everyone.
316
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:48,996
Together:
[ Maine accent ] Afta-noon!
317
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:51,825
Hello.
That wasn't creepy at all.
318
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,043
[ Normal voice ]
Andy Richter?
319
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,741
[ Normal voice ]
You know this intelligent man?
320
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,047
Oh, he's the co-host of"Late Night with Conan O'Brien."
321
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,702
The talk show?I understand zero
of those words.
322
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:00,790
Yeah, it's a great job.
323
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:03,575
I sit on the couch
and laugh at Conan's jokes.
324
00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:05,012
Hey, me too.
[ Chuckles ]
325
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,274
Alright, look,
it's not that easy, okay?
326
00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:09,059
I mean, there's...lights
and stuff.
327
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:10,408
So, Andy,you're a Harvard alum?
328
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,802
Oh, God, no.
My name is Andy. Come on.
329
00:11:12,846 --> 00:11:14,804
[ Chuckles ]
No, but Conan is,
330
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:16,501
and sometimes he does
interviews for them,
331
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:19,243
and then he asks me to do
the interviews for him.
332
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,897
Mm. I like this Conan.
333
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:22,769
Eh, everybody does.
He's Conan.
334
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,859
He's tall, he's handsome,
he signs my checks.
335
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,991
So, uh,can I get you anything?
336
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,253
Tea?
Something to eat?
337
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,691
My "Simpsons" spec scriptto give to Conan?
338
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:34,302
Uh, no, it's alright.
I'll just talk to Eddie.Okay.
339
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:35,825
And you know what?
I will have something to eat.
340
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:38,567
And drink.
341
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,961
Evan, thank you for
the block-party update.
342
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,571
My pleasure.
343
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,878
Gonna be a scorcher out there,
so sunscreen up, girls.
344
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:45,922
[ Women murmur ]Up next
345
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,924
are elections
for HOA Vice President.
346
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:50,274
Any nominations?
347
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,799
Uh, I nominate
Emery Huang.
348
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,235
[ Gasps ]
349
00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:57,107
I accept.
[ Scoffs ]
350
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,674
For those who don't know me,
I'm a spelling-bee champ,
351
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:02,330
writing a memoir,
and love a tucked-in polo!
352
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,027
Those are my credentials.[ Women chuckling ]
353
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,159
Just giving people
what they want.
354
00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:06,856
It takes a lot of marbles
355
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,076
to sideswipe the guy
holding a wooden hammer.
356
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,555
-[ Gasps ]
-Ooh!
357
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,906
Whoa, Eddie.
You really nailed the SATs.
358
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:14,255
What was that like?
359
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:16,736
Tough.I filled in so many ovals,
360
00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:19,173
I didn't have the strengthto zip up my pants for a week.
361
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,131
Well, zippers
are complicated.
362
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,307
I think the Amish are ahead
of the curve on that one.
363
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,569
Jessica: Oh, don't mind me.
364
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:27,050
Just taking Eddie's cello
to the conservatory.
365
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,573
[ Chuckles ]
366
00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:31,620
Ooh! Cello --
the man's violin.
367
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:34,405
Well, actually,I'm more of a beatboxer.
368
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,320
No kidding!
Let 'er rip.
369
00:12:36,364 --> 00:12:39,671
[ Beatboxing ]
370
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:41,935
♪ Ah-booty, booty, booty jam
371
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,588
No, no, over here,
ignore that now!
372
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:44,459
Eddie's telescope.
373
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:46,853
Houston, we have a genius.
374
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:50,117
Gosh, maybe it would be easier
if I just interviewed you.
375
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,859
Great idea.
376
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:54,469
Well, uh, Eddie,
do you have any questions
377
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,514
for me, for Conan,
for Harvard?
378
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,081
Yes.
379
00:12:58,125 --> 00:12:59,169
How hard will
they make him work?
380
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:00,867
Eddie loves hard work.
381
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,869
Huh?
Huh.
382
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:04,044
Well, he didn't at first.
383
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,220
I've always had to
push him to succeed.
384
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,788
♪♪
385
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,528
Eddie, focus!
386
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:12,530
Aah!
Where's my bed?!
387
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:14,054
Beds are for people
who work hard.
388
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:16,883
Recommit yourself to school
and hard work,
389
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,058
you get your bed back.
390
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,015
Mom?
391
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:20,408
For the next
three months
392
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:21,844
while I'm busy
studying for grad school,
393
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:25,021
you will be by my side
PSAT prepping.
394
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:26,327
Study buddies.
395
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,459
Wow. You've really
done a lot for Eddie.
396
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:31,027
I drive my boys
to be the best.
397
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,855
Jessica don't raise
mediocre.
398
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:35,118
That's actually
very helpful to hear.
399
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,685
Yes,
that's why I said it.
400
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:39,427
Alright, well, uh,
I've got to get going.
401
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:43,866
"Conan" has another interview
in Daytona Beach.
402
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,433
Uh, hey, Andy.
403
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,609
Uh, complimentary
basket of oranges.
404
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,872
My "Simpsons" spec scriptis on the bottom.
405
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,221
Homer takes Lisa square dancingand then loses her.
406
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,702
It's called "Do-Si-D'oh!"[ Chuckles ]
407
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:55,617
Yeah, perfect.
408
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,619
They're always hungry for ideasfrom the random public.
409
00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:59,621
[ Exhales sharply ]Really? That's great.
410
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,059
[ Gasps ] Mm.
411
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,845
So, what did you think of Eddie?What will you tell the school?
412
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,586
Should I preorder
my license plate for him now?
413
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:11,894
Okay, look, I've done
a lot of these things,
414
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,418
and Harvard is not
gonna be a fit.
415
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:15,985
What?
416
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:18,945
Oh, it was his
mouth-rapping, wasn't it?
417
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:20,250
Oh, no, no,
that was excellent --
418
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,426
I mean,
Michael Winslow-nian.
419
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:26,691
No, i-it's not so much Eddie
as it is you.
420
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:28,041
Me?
421
00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:31,305
Yeah, you're a bit of
a helicopter mom,
422
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:35,787
and Harvard's found that, when
a parent is so...invested
423
00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,007
that the kid tends to fizzle out
424
00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:39,269
once they're finally
on their own.
425
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,793
Eh, helicopter mom,
that's not me.
426
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:43,143
Hey, who put this in my room?
427
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:48,888
Well,
thanks for the oranges.
428
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:49,758
[ Door opens ]
429
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,417
Eddie can't go to Harvard
because of me.
430
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:02,945
Jessica.
I pushed you
your whole life
431
00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,686
for a school like Harvard,
but I pushed too hard.
432
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:06,731
I failed you.
What?
433
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:08,037
No, I wasn't thatbig on Harvard anyways.
434
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:10,170
I mean, their mascot's
a friggin' color.
435
00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:11,867
Well, I guess there are
other top schools.
436
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,087
Why, it is the Ivy League
after all.
437
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,523
Or there are
other options.
438
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,655
Okay, new plan!
439
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:18,961
We go to the schools
to interview.
440
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,397
We ambush them.
441
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,008
I'll find
the admissions director,
442
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:24,097
tell him that if he doesn't
accept Eddie,
443
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,489
it's time
for some smacks --
444
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:28,144
hitting smacks,
not kissing smacks.
445
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:29,972
Ma, you don't have to
do that.
446
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:33,149
Of course I do.
I ruined Harvard!
447
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:35,412
You didn't ruin it,
because I didn't want
to go to college.
448
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:37,501
I want to go to
culinary school.
449
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:39,851
[ Ominous chord strikes ]
450
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,335
Then I guess I really did
fail you as a mother.
451
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,948
♪♪
452
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,384
[ Door closes ]
453
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,342
Okay.
I'll tally the votes.
454
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:55,389
Hey, dingbat.
What the "H" was that?
455
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,043
You took credit
for my success,
456
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,262
plucked my feathers
for your cap.
457
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,394
I was just proving a point.
458
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:02,004
Well,
this isn't a joke, kid.
459
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:05,051
This is the doggone
HOA Vice Presidency!
Mm.
460
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:07,444
Doesn't feel so goodwhen someone stealsyour story, does it?
461
00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:09,969
The dark underbelly
of plagiarism.
462
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:15,017
Evan, you saw how
everyone reacted
463
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,192
when I shared your story.
464
00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:17,193
It's powerful enoughon its own.
465
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:19,195
When you get to
high school,
466
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,284
the operating room,
the oval office...
467
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,983
you don't need to be anythingother than who you are.
468
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,201
I love that guy.
469
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:28,335
Alright, y'all.
470
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,032
Congrats to the new
Vice President,
471
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,991
Emery Huang! [ Chuckles ]
472
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,993
[ Applause ]This -- This is why
473
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,038
we need to do away
with the popular vote.
474
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:40,303
[ R&B music plays ]
475
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:41,696
[ Indistinct conversations ]
476
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:45,134
♪♪
477
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:47,484
Here's the thing, kids,
but I've taken this sucker
478
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:50,574
to 150 miles an hour
on a residential street.
479
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,489
Matthew: Taking the ranchon the road.
480
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,796
Brings me back to
my Dolly days --
481
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:57,146
minus the groupies
and the wigs.
482
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,539
Oh, you worked
at Dollywood?
483
00:16:58,582 --> 00:17:00,019
I wasn't sure, because
you haven't mentioned it
484
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,716
since yesterday.
485
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,413
[ Utensil thuds ]
486
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,372
Yo, Pops.Ma's not doing so well.
487
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:08,070
Louis: Oh, yowza.
Mac and cheese?
488
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:09,332
And we're out of LACTAID.
489
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:10,986
This is my fault.
490
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,205
I shouldn't have pushed you
to do that interview.
491
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,423
No, it's my bad.
492
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,643
I knew she'd hate
culinary school,
493
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:19,125
but I thoughtshe'd be mad, not sad.
494
00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:20,300
I broke Mom.
495
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,606
[ Feedback ]Meatball: Okay, everybody.
496
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:25,087
Let's keep that energy going
for Jessica Huang,
497
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:26,697
who's singing next.
498
00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:28,351
[ Applause ]
499
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,614
[ "Des'ree's
"You Gotta Be" plays ]
500
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:33,487
♪ Listen as your day unfolds
501
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:36,229
♪ Challenge what
the future holds ♪
502
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:40,581
♪ Try and keep your head
up to the sky ♪
503
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,104
Oof. I heard
Harvard's out.♪ Lovers, they may
cause you tears ♪
504
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,280
Yeah, well, Andy Richter
called her a bad mom.
505
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:46,500
♪ Go ahead,
release your fears ♪[ Chuckles ]
506
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:47,631
Aw, hell no.♪ Show up and be counted
507
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:51,461
♪ Don't be ashamed
to cry ♪
508
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:54,116
♪ Herald what
your mother said ♪
509
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,727
♪ Read the books
your father read ♪
510
00:17:56,771 --> 00:18:02,255
♪ Try to solve your puzzles
in your own sweet time ♪
511
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:05,084
♪ You gotta be bad,
you gotta be bold ♪
512
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,434
♪ You gotta be wiser
513
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:09,479
♪ You gotta be hard,
you gotta be tough ♪
514
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:12,482
♪ You gotta be stronger
515
00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:15,181
♪ You gotta be cool,
you gotta be calm ♪
516
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,270
♪ You gotta stay together
517
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:22,188
♪ All I know, all I know,
love will save the day ♪
518
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:24,190
♪ Time asks no questions
519
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:27,149
♪ It goes on without you
520
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:28,716
♪ Leaving you behind
521
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:32,328
If you try to suspend our son
because of this,
522
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:34,765
we will sue everyone
in this school.
523
00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:37,290
♪ You can't stop it
if you try to ♪
524
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,161
♪ The best part is danger...
525
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,467
If Oscar Chow
hadn't dumped me,
526
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,382
I never would have met
your father.
527
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:43,426
I wouldn't be here.
528
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:45,428
And that would be tragic.
529
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:48,127
♪ You gotta be bad,
you gotta be bold ♪
530
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,216
♪ You gotta be wiser
531
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:53,436
♪ You gotta be hard,
you gotta be tough ♪
532
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,873
♪ You gotta be stronger
533
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,442
♪ All I know, all I know,
love will save the day ♪
534
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:03,359
[ Cheers and applause ]
535
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:06,014
♪♪
536
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:08,364
Okay, I hope you're not
wearing synthetic fibers,
537
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,714
'cause they're about to set
the dance floor on fire.
538
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:12,499
It's Honey and Marvin.
539
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,022
[ "Love Shack" plays ][ Cheers and applause ]
540
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:17,199
♪ You see a faded sign
by the side of the road ♪
541
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,332
♪ That says 15 miles
to the ♪
542
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:22,726
♪ Love shack!
543
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:25,816
Eddie, you didn't
need to do that.
Yes, I did.
544
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:28,297
Think about all the times
you've swooped in to save me.
545
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:30,125
You've always
been there for me.
546
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,213
You're the best mom ever.
547
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,259
I'm not terrible?
548
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:35,348
Sure, you pushed me --
a lot.
549
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:37,480
Like, I'm probably gonna
have to go talk it through
550
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:39,003
with a professional
at some point,
551
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:40,396
but I'm glad you did,
552
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,050
because it taught me
to fight for what I want.
553
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,225
Dirty if you have to.
554
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:45,271
[ Sighs ]
555
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:46,359
I know it's not
what you planned,
556
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:49,275
but I want to go
to culinary school.
557
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:54,062
And I just wantwhat's best for you.
558
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:55,281
That's all I ever wanted.
559
00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,718
I know,
but I'm not gonna quit.
560
00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:01,069
I'm never gonna quit,because I'm Jessica Huang's kid.
561
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,987
[ Chuckles ]
562
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:06,901
Marvin: You're what?
563
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:09,208
Tiiiiin roof!
564
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,253
Oh.
Rusted!
565
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,995
♪♪
566
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,345
Amazing duet yesterday.
567
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,478
I would've joined in,but Chestnut threw
568
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,741
a piping-hot potato wedgeat Trent.
Good.
569
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:22,395
You do that thing
where you cup your ear,
570
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:23,439
but it's still pitchy.
571
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,093
Uh, it's called
harmonizing?
572
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,486
Look, about Eddie.
573
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,488
I know we always wantedhim to go to college,
574
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,664
but he has his own dreams.
575
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,101
Louis, we worked so hard
to get him here.
576
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:35,408
He has a golden
opportunity.
577
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:37,584
I don't want him
to throw it all away.
578
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:40,587
Well, you know, we werehis age when we left Taiwan,
579
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,023
and isn't this why,
580
00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,938
so our kids could pursuetheir own dreams?
581
00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:49,422
How am I so bad at fakeskateboarding and you're a god?
582
00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:50,988
You got slow thumbs,
Eddie.
583
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:52,555
[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ]
584
00:20:52,599 --> 00:20:53,991
[ Knock on door ]
585
00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:55,384
Tina, can you
give us a minute?
586
00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:57,473
You got it, Jess.
587
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:58,474
Still weird.
588
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,523
So, are you still into this
whole cooking-school thing?
589
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:05,220
Yeah.
590
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,048
Okay, fine. You can go.
591
00:21:07,091 --> 00:21:08,441
Really?!
592
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:09,529
That's it?
593
00:21:09,572 --> 00:21:11,270
No one's going
to stop my son
594
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:14,142
from getting what he wants,
not even me.
595
00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:17,580
But you are going
to the top one.
596
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:19,582
[ Sighs ] Really, Mom?
597
00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:20,757
Another life-chart?
598
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:23,020
This one...
599
00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,674
you fill out yourself.
600
00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:27,068
I'd use a pencil, son.
601
00:21:27,111 --> 00:21:28,852
You never know.
Things can change.
602
00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:31,464
And I reserve the right tocorrect whatever you get wrong.
603
00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:35,511
Like it or not,
I'm not going anywhere.
604
00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:38,297
♪♪
605
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:39,820
♪ Yeah
606
00:21:43,476 --> 00:21:44,738
Ohh.
I'm so proud of him.
607
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:45,956
Our little Evan.
608
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,524
...and my brother, Emery,
609
00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:50,352
who taught me
to be true to myself.
610
00:21:50,396 --> 00:21:52,876
And now he's starring in
cellphone commercials.
611
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,443
I'm sure you've all
heard his catchphrase.
612
00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:56,402
"No, boss,it's a text message!"
613
00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:57,620
[ Laughter ]
614
00:21:57,664 --> 00:21:59,100
You know, Louis,
615
00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:01,058
I'm actually glad
your mother's here,
616
00:22:01,102 --> 00:22:02,625
even like this.
617
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:11,547
I'm going to bea big ole mess later.
618
00:22:11,591 --> 00:22:12,940
Eddie: Yo, when this thing
wrap up?
619
00:22:12,983 --> 00:22:14,594
I got Trent
running my restaurant,
620
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:16,944
and his narcolepsy's
flaring up.
621
00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:18,380
I don't know how,
but we did it.
622
00:22:18,424 --> 00:22:19,642
Yep.
623
00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:21,383
I did.Evan: Thank you.
624
00:22:21,427 --> 00:22:23,167
No, I said --
625
00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:25,256
[ Cheers and applause ]
41549
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