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1
00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,520
HEY, ROY,
GOT A MINUTE?
2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:05,520
NO.
GREAT.
3
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:07,520
I'VE BEEN PRACTICING
SOME IMPRESSIONS
4
00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:09,530
FOR THE LIONS CLUB
TALENT SHOW
5
00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:11,030
AND I JUST WANT TO
TRY 'EM OUT ON YOU.
6
00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:14,030
WHY DON'T YOU DO
AN IMPRESSION OF
SOMEONE LEAVING A ROOM?
7
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:15,530
ARE YOU READY? OK.
8
00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:17,530
[phone ringing]
9
00:00:17,530 --> 00:00:19,540
[sighing]
10
00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:22,740
[speaking gruffly]
HI. I'M JACK BENNY.
11
00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:27,040
LOWELL, THAT IS THE WORST
IMPERSONATION OF JACK BENNY
I'VE EVER SEEN.
12
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,050
BUT YOU KNEW
WHO IT WAS.
13
00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:31,050
OK, WHO'S THIS?
14
00:00:31,050 --> 00:00:33,550
[people chattering]
15
00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:35,050
[speaking gruffly]
HI. I'M BETTE DAVIS.
16
00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:37,050
OH, GEEZ.
17
00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:39,190
NO, WAIT, WAIT.
THAT WAS KATHARINE HEPBURN.
18
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:41,290
I'M ALWAYS GETTIN'
THE 2 OF 'EM MIXED UP.
19
00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:42,760
OK, HERE, TRY AGAIN.
20
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,160
[speaking gruffly]
HI. I'M BETTE DAVIS.
21
00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:46,660
ROY!
22
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:51,170
[seagulls cawing]
23
00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:56,530
JUST ABOUT DONE
WITH THAT, LOWELL?
24
00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:59,540
I'LL BE THROUGH
IN A JIFF, JOE.
25
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:01,870
YOU KNOW, JOE,
THE LORD HAS BLESSED ME.
26
00:02:01,870 --> 00:02:03,140
OH, YEAH?
HOW'S THAT, LOWELL?
27
00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:05,140
I'VE GOT
A BEAUTIFUL WIFE.
28
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:08,650
SOMETIMES I JUST LIKE
TO LIE IN BED
AND WATCH HER SLEEP.
29
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:11,150
HER FACE BATHED
IN MOONLIGHT,
30
00:02:11,150 --> 00:02:14,150
HER HAIR CASCADING
ACROSS HER PILLOW,
31
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:18,450
HER BREASTS RISING AND FALLING
UNDER THE COVERS.
32
00:02:18,450 --> 00:02:20,460
YOU EVER DO THAT, JOE?
33
00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:21,990
YOU MEAN
WITH A GIRLFRIEND?
34
00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:23,490
NO! I MEAN WITH MY WIFE!
35
00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:27,660
THE GUYS TOLD ME YOU WERE
LOOKIN' AT HER FUNNY
36
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:30,170
THE OTHER DAY WHEN
SHE CAME TO PICK ME UP.
37
00:02:30,170 --> 00:02:31,670
LOWELL, NO.
38
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:33,500
BELIEVE ME. NO.
39
00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:35,270
I'M SORRY, JOE.
40
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:37,770
I GUESS I'M JUST
A JEALOUS FOOL.
41
00:02:37,770 --> 00:02:40,280
NOW, JUST FORGET
I SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT,
42
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,950
ESPECIALLY THE PART
ABOUT HER HEAVING BREASTS.
43
00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:44,480
AND, UH,
44
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,480
JOE, COULD YOU HAND ME
THAT CRESCENT WRENCH
DOWN THERE?
45
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,480
YEAH, SURE.
46
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,850
OH, GOD! I KNEW
I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.
47
00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:53,790
AHA! SO THE TRUTH COMES OUT,
YOU HOME WRECKER!
48
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:56,690
NO, LOWELL,
IT'S MY BACK.
49
00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:58,700
OH. WELL, THANK GOD.
50
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,200
LET ME HELP YOU UP.
51
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,600
HEY, JOE. ARE WE ON
FOR THAT 5 K RUN
IN THE MORNING?
52
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,540
UH, MY BACK'S
GONE OUT AGAIN.
53
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:08,040
OH! YOU OK?
54
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,470
OK, DON'T MAKE
ANY SUDDEN MOVES.
55
00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:12,880
ALL RIGHT,
I'M GONNA GO FOR HELP.
56
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,880
HEY, LOWELL.
YEAH?
57
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,180
YOUR SHOE'S UNTIED.
58
00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:18,480
HAH! NOT FALLIN'
FOR THAT OLD TRICK.
59
00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:22,920
UH, THANKS, JOE.
60
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,860
OK, CAN YOU
STAND UP, HONEY?
61
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,860
OH, NO. I--I DON'T THINK SO.
I'M--I'M CLOSER TO THE FLOOR.
WHY DON'T WE GO THERE?
62
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,860
NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT. BAD IDEA.
63
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,860
OH, THE FLOOR'S TOO HARD
FOR YOUR BACK?
64
00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:35,200
NO. THESE ARE NEW PANTS.
65
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,470
OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES!
66
00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:38,470
[groaning]
67
00:03:41,470 --> 00:03:42,970
[grunting]
68
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:44,670
BE EASY.
69
00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:46,180
[groaning]
70
00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,680
LET ME HELP YOU.
71
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,580
[groaning]
72
00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:57,290
WHOA, DON'T YOU KIDS
HAVE A HOME?
73
00:03:57,290 --> 00:04:00,620
I MEAN, THE LEAST
YOU CAN DO IS
USE THE DESK IN THE OFFICE.
74
00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:01,890
JOE'S BACK WENT OUT.
75
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:03,890
YEAH, I'LL BET IT DID.
76
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:07,300
ALL RIGHT, WELL, LET'S GET
THIS BIG BABY INSIDE, OK?
77
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,300
OW! OW!
WHAT'S WRONG?
78
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,530
[gasps]
WHAT HAPPENED?
79
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:14,040
WELL, JOE'S BACK WENT OUT
AND BRIAN TRIED TO MOVE HIM.
80
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:15,940
OH, NO, MOVING HIM
COULD REALLY HURT.
81
00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:16,940
WE SHOULD GET SOME ICE
FOR HIS BACK.
82
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:20,280
UH, NO, YOU ONLY APPLY ICE
AFTER YOU APPLY MOIST HEAT.
83
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:23,110
MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD
TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL.
NO, IT'S ICE, THEN HEAT.
84
00:04:23,380 --> 00:04:24,810
NO, IT'S HEAT, THEN ICE.
85
00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:28,180
ARE YOU SURE
YOU JUST DON'T BREATHE
INTO A BROWN PAPER BAG?
86
00:04:29,950 --> 00:04:31,690
YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD
TAKE HIM TO A CHIROPRACTOR.
87
00:04:31,690 --> 00:04:34,020
[razzing]
NO, WHAT HE REALLY NEEDS
IS SOME ACUPUNCTURE.
88
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,530
UH, THE HOSPITAL--
(Roy)
ACUPUNCTURE?
89
00:04:35,990 --> 00:04:37,990
WHY DON'T WE JUST WAVE
A DEAD CHICKEN OVER HIM?
90
00:04:37,990 --> 00:04:39,430
(Helen)
LET'S JUST GET A CONSENSUS...
91
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:41,430
(Brian)
WHY DON'T WE JUST TAKE HIM
TO A GENERAL PRACTITIONER?
92
00:04:41,430 --> 00:04:42,930
(Roy)
A GENERAL PRACTITIONER?
93
00:04:42,930 --> 00:04:44,000
YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT'S GONNA COST?
94
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,500
[all chattering]
95
00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:56,580
(Helen)
OH, CHEER UP, JOE.
96
00:04:56,580 --> 00:04:59,080
FEW DAYS BED REST
AND YOU'LL BE
AS GOOD AS NEW.
97
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,580
YEAH, BUT WHY TRACTION?
98
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,690
BECAUSE THE DOCTOR SAID
THAT'S THE FASTEST WAY
FOR YOU TO GET BETTER.
99
00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:06,690
BESIDES, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME
IN A HOSPITAL GOWN.
100
00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:09,190
ESPECIALLY FROM BEHIND.
101
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:14,200
DON'T TOUCH ME, HELEN.
I'M STERILE.
102
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,300
ON BEHALF OF ALL THE WOMEN
OF CHILDBEARING AGE,
103
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:20,440
THANK GOD.
104
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,870
WHERE'D YOU
GET THOSE, BRIAN?
105
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:24,270
BORROWED THESE
FROM A LOCKED CLOSET.
106
00:05:24,610 --> 00:05:26,610
WELL, I'VE GOT TO GET
BACK TO THE COUNTER
BEFORE LUNCH.
107
00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:28,610
I LEFT LOWELL IN CHARGE.
108
00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:31,610
LAST TIME I DID THAT,
HE SUCKED ALL THE PIMENTOS
OUT OF THE OLIVES.
109
00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:33,620
SEE YOU TONIGHT.
BYE.
110
00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:38,390
[sighing]
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS LOWELL.
111
00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:40,690
I CAN'T BE HERE.
I'VE GOT AN AIRLINE TO RUN.
112
00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:42,660
JOE, JUST STOP IT.
JUST RELAX, WILL YOU?
113
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:45,960
JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
RELAX. I WILL TAKE CARE
OF EVERYTHING. TRUST ME.
114
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,970
BRIAN, THE LAST TIME
YOU SAID, "TRUST ME,"
I WOUND UP NAKED ON I-95,
115
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:51,570
TRYIN' TO FLAG DOWN
ONCOMING TRAFFIC.
116
00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:54,300
BUT WHO PULLED OVER
FOR YOU?
117
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:57,740
EXCUSE ME. HI.
UH, I'M NEW HERE.
118
00:05:57,740 --> 00:05:59,080
WOULD YOU BE
DR. HEILBRON?
119
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:02,880
YES, I AM. AND, NURSE,
I WANT THIS PATIENT
SHAVED IMMEDIATELY.
120
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,550
LOOK, BRIAN...
121
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:07,120
WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
DOCTOR.
122
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,620
I'VE NEVER SHAVED
ANYONE BEFORE.
123
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,920
I--I THOUGHT I WAS JUST
GONNA PASS OUT, YOU KNOW,
MAGAZINES AND CANDY BARS.
124
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,660
WELL, AS SOON AS
YOU FINISH SHAVING HIM,
JUST GIVE HIM A BUTTERFINGER.
125
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:17,660
BRIAN...
126
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:19,160
SHAVE HIM
FROM HEAD TO TOE.
127
00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,160
I WANT HIM AS SMOOTH
AS THE DAY HE WAS BORN.
128
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,170
BRIAN--
I DON'T KNOW
WHERE I'M GOIN' IN YET,
129
00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:25,830
AND, UH, I LIKE TO
KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN.
130
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,340
YES, DOCTOR.
131
00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:29,840
SO, JOE, YOU WERE SAYIN'?
THERE, YOU SEE?
132
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:32,340
THA-- BRIAN, THAT IS EXACTLY
THE KIND OF IMMATURITY
COME ON.
133
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:35,340
AND IRRESPONSIBILITY
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT. YOU DON'T
TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY.
134
00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:37,650
YOU KNOW, JOE,
I'VE BEEN ON CALL
FOR 48 HOURS STRAIGHT,
135
00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:39,780
DID 5 GALL BLADDERS
THIS MORNING,
136
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:42,080
I'M SURROUNDED BY THE STENCH
OF DISEASE AND DEATH.
137
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,450
EXCUSE ME IF I JUST WANT
TO LAUGH, JUST A LITTLE.
138
00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:47,220
ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP
AND GET ME DOWN FROM THIS.
139
00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:49,430
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
JOE, COME ON, NOW, LOOK--
WHOA!
140
00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:52,430
THERE'S A SOUND
THAT'LL BRING A GROWN MAN
TO HIS KNEES, HUH?
141
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:55,430
COME ON, SERIOUSLY,
I KNOW I GOOF AROUND
A LOT, OK?
142
00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:58,570
BUT YOU NEED ME NOW
AND I WANNA COME THROUGH
FOR YOU.
143
00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,070
WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE
A CHOICE. ALL RIGHT. OK.
RIGHT.
144
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,370
WELL, LET ME BRIEF YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
145
00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:03,870
THERE'S A SCHEDULE
OF ALL MY DAILY ACTIVITIES
146
00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:06,380
IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT-HAND
DRAWER OF THE DESK.
MMM-HMM.
147
00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,380
IT'S FILED UNDER
"S" FOR SCHEDULE.
SUB-HEADED "D" FOR DAILY.
148
00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:10,880
NOW, THE BEAUTY
OF THAT SYSTEM IS--
JOE, JOE, JOE, JOE.
149
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,880
I'M SURE YOUR SYSTEM
IS AS WONDERFULLY EFFICIENT
150
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,390
AS IT IS EXCRUCIATINGLY
SELF-EXPLANATORY.
151
00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:17,390
EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE
JUST FINE.
152
00:07:17,890 --> 00:07:19,360
OK.
153
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,260
BRIAN?
WHAT?
154
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:21,960
THANKS.
155
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,730
FORGET IT, OK. JUST--
JUST TAKE IT EASY, BROTHER.
ALL RIGHT?
156
00:07:24,730 --> 00:07:26,160
[kisses]
BEHAVE!
157
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,700
GOODBYE.
BYE.
158
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,700
[woman on P.A. chattering]
159
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,870
NOW,
160
00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:38,370
I HAVEN'T EVER ACTUALLY
HANDLED A STRAIGHT-EDGED
RAZOR BEFORE,
161
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,880
BUT, IF YOU JUST
BEAR WITH ME--
162
00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,380
NO, UH, NO, WAIT. YOU KNOW,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
163
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:45,580
HE WAS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.
THAT'S MY--
IT'S MY FIRST TIME, TOO.
164
00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:46,550
WE'RE BOTH NERVOUS.
165
00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:48,990
NO. NO, NO, NO, NO!
YOU GET THAT
AWAY FROM ME!
166
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,990
NURSE! NURSE!
167
00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:52,490
NURSE!
168
00:07:55,490 --> 00:07:56,960
(Brian)
WE'VE COME UP WITH AN IDEA
169
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:01,360
THAT WE FEEL SURE THAT YOU
AND YOUR STUDENTS COULD
REALLY GO FOR, MR. GREELY.
170
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,370
RIGHT. WE ARE AIMING FOR
A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD.
171
00:08:04,370 --> 00:08:05,870
THE MOST HIGH SCHOOL
BAND MEMBERS
172
00:08:05,870 --> 00:08:08,370
STUFFED INTO
A TWIN-ENGINE CESSNA.
173
00:08:08,370 --> 00:08:09,870
THAT'S RIGHT.
174
00:08:09,870 --> 00:08:11,870
NOW, IT'LL BE
GREAT PUBLICITY
FOR SANDPIPER AIR
175
00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:13,880
AND IT'LL GIVE THE KIDS
MEMORIES THAT THEY'LL CHERISH
176
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,610
FOR THE REST OF
THEIR LIVES, YOU KNOW?
177
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:17,110
HMM.
178
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:18,110
W-WHAT? YOU...
179
00:08:18,110 --> 00:08:19,620
YOU WANNA BRING
THE MASCOT ALONG?
180
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,620
THE BAND MASCOT IS FINE.
THE MORE THE MERRIER.
181
00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:24,620
[laughing]
OK. SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL.
182
00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,120
HOW WAS THE FLIGHT, KENNY?
AH, GREAT, SIR.
183
00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,120
AND I FINISHED HANDING OUT
THE PROMOTIONAL GIFTS
184
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,690
TO THE PASSENGERS
LIKE YOU ASKED.
185
00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:31,690
HMM, NOT A BAD IDEA, HEY?
186
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:34,160
OH, IF I MAY
SAY SO, SIR,
187
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,900
PAINTING CRABS
WITH THE SANDPIPER LOGO
WAS A STROKE OF GENIUS.
188
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:38,870
AN INSPIRED CAMPAIGN.
189
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:41,800
AH! EMPTY FLATTERY.
I LIKE THAT
IN AN UNDERLING.
190
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,740
[knocking on door]
THANK YOU, SIR.
191
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,110
HI, GUYS.
192
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,610
(Kenny)
HEY, MISS CHAPEL.
193
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,110
HAVE YOU SEEN OUR NEW
PROMOTIONAL GIMMICK?
194
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,610
AH! BLOB OF PAINT
ON THE BACK OF A CRAB.
195
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,620
THAT'D MAKE ME
FLY YOUR AIRLINE.
196
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:54,050
THAT IS NOT
A BLOB OF PAINT.
197
00:08:54,050 --> 00:08:55,920
THAT IS A SANDPIPER. HUH?
198
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:57,920
HMM.
199
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,920
WELL, YOU TRY PAINTING
A MOVING CRAB.
200
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:02,530
BRIAN, I'VE GOT
A GIMMICK FOR YOU.
201
00:09:02,530 --> 00:09:04,390
GREAT. I LIKE
HEARIN' NEW IDEAS.
202
00:09:04,390 --> 00:09:06,660
LET'S TOSS IT AROUND,
SEE IF IT MAKES SALAD.
203
00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:09,570
WHY DON'T YOU LOAD
ALL THE PASSENGERS
ONTO THE PLANE,
204
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:12,070
MMM-HMM.
AND THEN FLY THEM
WHERE THEY WANNA GO?
205
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,700
THAT HAS BEEN DONE
TO DEATH, HELEN.
206
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:19,210
SEE, I AM LOOKING
FOR FRESH CONCEPTS.
207
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,710
NEW IDEAS.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
208
00:09:20,710 --> 00:09:24,750
THE FLOODGATES ARE OPENING.
THE IDEAS ARE FLOWING.
KENNY?
209
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:27,250
WINGS ON THE SIDES
OF PLANES. WHY?
210
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,120
WRITE IT DOWN.
WRITE IT ALL DOWN.
GOT IT, SIR.
211
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,620
OH, GET A LOAD
OF MY MASTER STROKE.
212
00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:34,620
I'VE ARRANGED
A LITTLE PROMOTIONAL JUNKET
FOR A GROUP OF TRAVEL AGENTS
213
00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:36,630
FROM THE LARGEST
AGENCY IN BOSTON.
214
00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:37,630
AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID TRIP
215
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:40,630
TO OUR CHARMING AND HISTORIC
ISLAND OF NANTUCKET,
216
00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:43,030
COURTESY OF SANDPIPER AIR.
217
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,540
IN FACT, I BELIEVE
THAT FAY IS ESCORTING
THEIR WELL-FED BODIES
218
00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:48,040
THROUGH OUR
COBBLESTONE STREETS,
AS WE SPEAK.
219
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,510
BRIAN, HOW CAN YOU
AFFORD THAT?
220
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:52,940
AFFORD? COME ON.
SEE, SEE, THAT'S JOE TALK.
DON'T YOU GET IT?
221
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:55,450
WE BUTTER UP
THESE TRAVEL AGENTS,
WE SHOW 'EM A GOOD TIME,
222
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,450
AND THEN THEY SEND
ALL THEIR BUSINESS TO US.
223
00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:58,510
(Kenny)
EXCUSE ME, MR. HACKETT.
224
00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:01,050
DOES "JOE TALK"
HAVE QUOTES AROUND IT?
225
00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:03,020
IT'S YOUR CALL, KID.
226
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,220
I'M CALLING JOE.
227
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:07,090
NO. HELEN, HELEN, HELEN,
PLEASE. NOW, LOOK,
228
00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:09,430
I KNOW I'M NOT
REAL WELL-KNOWN FOR
COMING THROUGH ON THINGS,
229
00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:11,430
BUT I WANNA PROVE TO JOE
THAT I CAN DO THIS.
230
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:14,360
I WANNA PROVE TO MYSELF
THAT I CAN DO THIS.
231
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,370
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
YOU MIGHT BE GETTING IN
OVER YOUR HEAD A LITTLE HERE?
232
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:20,470
YOU--YOU REALLY HAVE
THAT LITTLE CONFIDENCE
IN MY ABILITY?
233
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:22,470
"THAT LITTLE" IMPLIES
THAT I HAVE SOME.
234
00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:23,940
I HAVE NONE.
235
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:26,380
BRIAN, I'M BACK
WITH THE TRAVEL AGENTS.
236
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:29,250
THEY HAD
A WONDERFUL TIME.
237
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:32,780
SELDOM IN LIFE
DOES ONE ACHIEVE
SUCH IMMEDIATE VINDICATION.
238
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:33,780
KENNY!
239
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:35,780
GO WARM UP THE PLANE
AND START YOUR PRE-FLIGHT.
240
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,290
AYE, AYE, SIR.
241
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:39,290
I NEVER DOUBTED YOU
FOR A MINUTE.
242
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:42,790
KID'S A NATURAL SUCK-UP.
243
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:47,300
SO, THEY ALL HAD
A REALLY NICE TIME, HUH?
244
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:49,800
OH, YES. THEY ENJOYED
THE CRANBERRY BOG,
245
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,300
MMM-HMM.
AND THE WHALING MUSEUM.
246
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:55,040
BUT THEY REALLY LOVED IT
WHEN I TOOK THEM THROUGH
HERMAN MELVILLE'S HOUSE.
247
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,840
FAY, HERMAN MELVILLE
NEVER LIVED ON NANTUCKET.
248
00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,710
HE DIDN'T?
249
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:04,480
WELL, THAT
CERTAINLY EXPLAINS
250
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,980
WHY THAT LADY
IN THE TOWEL
WAS SCREAMING AT US.
251
00:11:09,490 --> 00:11:11,490
OK, OK, OK. SO YOU PULLED
THIS ONE THING OFF.
252
00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:13,790
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
AND WHO KNOWS,
253
00:11:13,790 --> 00:11:16,790
MAYBE SOME OF THE THINGS
THAT I'VE SET IN MOTION
WILL ACTUALLY PAN OUT,
254
00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:19,300
AND MAYBE BY THE TIME
JOE GETS BACK HERE,
255
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:22,300
SANDPIPER WILL NO LONGER
BE A ONE-PLANE OPERATION.
256
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,530
MR. HACKETT!
THE PLANE'S MISSING!
257
00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,900
SEE?
258
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:37,680
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THE PLANE IS MISSING?
259
00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:40,320
WELL, IT WAS OUT
ON THE TARMAC
A FEW MINUTES AGO,
260
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,220
BUT--BUT NOW IT'S GONE.
261
00:11:41,550 --> 00:11:43,890
WELL, THEN THE PLANE
CAN'T BE MISSING, BUBBALA.
262
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:48,690
OH, MY MOM'S
ALWAYS COMPLAINING
THAT I'M LOSING THINGS.
263
00:11:48,690 --> 00:11:49,690
FIRST MY JACKET
AT THE PARK,
264
00:11:49,690 --> 00:11:52,200
THEN MY BASEBALL GLOVE,
NOW THE PLANE.
265
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:55,200
THE PLANE IS MISSING!
266
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:58,170
OH! YOU LOST
THE PLANE?
267
00:11:58,170 --> 00:11:59,900
NO, I--I...
YOU LOST JOE'S PLANE?
268
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,270
HOW COULD YOU
LOSE THE PLANE, BRIAN?
269
00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:03,840
TELL ME, HOW COULD YOU
LOSE A PLANE?
270
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,440
WHAT DID I EVER
SEE IN YOU?
271
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,440
BRIAN, DO YOU WANT
TO SAY A FEW WORDS
272
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,780
TO THE TRAVEL AGENTS
BEFORE THEY LEAVE?
273
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,210
AH... NO.
274
00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,350
UH, THEN I SHOULD GO AHEAD
AND START LOADING THEM.
275
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:14,780
MMM. NO.
276
00:12:15,180 --> 00:12:16,690
ARE WE HAVING A PROBLEM?
277
00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:18,190
ACTUALLY, FAY--
UH, ACTUALLY,
278
00:12:18,190 --> 00:12:20,190
KENNY ATE ONE OF HELEN'S
CLAM BURRITOS FOR LUNCH
279
00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:22,190
AND HE'S PAYIN' THE PIPER
RIGHT NOW.
280
00:12:24,090 --> 00:12:25,700
NOW, LISTEN, FAY,
281
00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:27,700
I REALLY NEED YOU
TO STALL THESE PEOPLE
OUT THERE.
282
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,900
WHY DON'T YOU SING THEM
ONE OF YOUR IRISH
FOLK SONGS, HMM?
283
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,400
I THINK I CAN BE
A LITTLE MORE CLEVER
THAN THAT.
284
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,410
OK, KENNY, I WANT YOU
TO HOP ON YOUR BIKE.
285
00:12:36,410 --> 00:12:39,940
I WANT YOU TO TURN
THIS AIRPORT UPSIDE DOWN.
WE'VE GOT TO FIND THAT PLANE.
286
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:41,740
YES, SIR.
AND, KENNY,
287
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:43,010
I DON'T WANNA PUT
ANY PRESSURE ON YOU,
288
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,510
BUT YOU LOST IT,
YOU FIND IT.
289
00:12:44,510 --> 00:12:47,520
OR ELSE I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN
AND I WILL KILL YOU!
290
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:52,690
HELEN, HELEN,
HELEN, HELEN!
291
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,690
YOU'RE NOT GONNA
CALL JOE, ARE YOU?
292
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,690
WHAT, AND TELL HIM
YOU LOST THE PLANE?
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
293
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:58,690
YOU WANT ME TO GIVE HIM
A HEART ATTACK?
294
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,700
ALL I CAN TELL YOU,
BUDDY, IS YOU BETTER
FIND THE PLANE,
295
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,800
AND FIND IT FAST!
OK.
296
00:13:03,270 --> 00:13:06,370
(Fay)
TOO-RA-LOO-RA-LOO
297
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,370
REAL FAST.
298
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,340
IT'S A BIG PLANE.
HAS TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE.
299
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:15,340
[sighing]
300
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:19,850
LOOK, I KNOW I PROBABLY
DON'T DESERVE THIS,
301
00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:22,850
BUT IF YOU JUST GIVE ME
A FEW MINUTES OF PEACE,
302
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:24,350
I CAN REALLY
SORT THIS OUT.
303
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:25,750
[knocking on door]
304
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:27,760
(Fay)
...IRISH LULLABY
305
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,760
HI.
306
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,630
INSPECTOR HANSON
FROM THE F.A.A.
307
00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:33,630
A LITTLE
SPOT INSPECTION.
308
00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:35,630
SURPRISE.
309
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,200
THANKS. EXACTLY
WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
310
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,210
OH, DANNY BOY
311
00:13:44,210 --> 00:13:47,210
OH, DANNY BOY
312
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:50,810
I LOVE YOU SO
313
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,020
HELEN, HELEN,
I JUST CHECKED
EVERY HANGAR.
314
00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:56,520
I CHECKED EVERY CORNER
OF THE AIRPORT.
315
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,320
IT'S NOT HERE.
THE PLANE IS NOT HERE.
316
00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:01,220
WELL, DID YOU--
THE PLANE IS NOT HERE!
317
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:02,990
HEY, HACKETT.
WHAT?
318
00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:04,490
YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO ARRANGED
319
00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:06,500
THIS LITTLE JUNKET
FOR US, RIGHT?
YES, SIR. YES, SIR.
320
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,500
WELL, WE'VE HEARD
MOLLY MALONE SING
321
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:11,470
EVERY IRISH DITTY
SINCE THE POTATO FAMINE.
322
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:12,700
NOW, WHEN ARE WE
GETTING OUT OF HERE?
323
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,470
VERY SOON, SIR.
VERY SOON.
324
00:14:14,470 --> 00:14:16,470
IF JUST BEAR WITH ME,
JUST FOR A FEW MINUTES.
A FEW MINUTES.
325
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:18,470
ROY,
326
00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:19,980
YOU GOT ANY EXTRA SEATS
ON YOUR 4:15 TO BOSTON?
MMM-MMM.
327
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,980
WHY? WHAT'S WRONG?
OH, NOTHING.
328
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:25,080
MR. HACKETT.
EXCUSE ME.
329
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,080
MR. HACKETT, IF I DON'T
GET ON YOUR PLANE
330
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,080
TO INSPECT YOUR PILOT'S LOG
IN 10 MINUTES,
331
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,090
YOU'LL BE FACING
A POSSIBLE SUSPENSION,
A STIFF FINE,
332
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:33,260
OR BOTH.
333
00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:35,020
SIR, I TOLD YOU
IT IS ON ITS WAY.
334
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:38,030
MY PILOT IS ENCOUNTERING
SOME HEAVY HEADWINDS
FROM MARTHA'S VINEYARD.
335
00:14:38,030 --> 00:14:40,530
IN FACT,
HE'S ACTUALLY LOST GROUND
IN THE LAST 5 MINUTES.
336
00:14:41,030 --> 00:14:44,900
MR. HACKETT,
ARE YOU BLOWING SUNSHINE
UP THE GOVERNMENT'S SKIRT?
337
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,400
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
338
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,400
[stuttering]
LET ME BUY YOU
A CUP OF COFFEE.
339
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:50,910
NO, THANK YOU.
OH, REALLY?
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD
340
00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,410
'CAUSE THAT CUTE BLONDE
BEHIND THE COUNTER
341
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:55,410
KEEPS ASKING ME
WHO'S THE BLADE
IN THE POWER TIE.
342
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:59,180
REALLY?
ABSOLUTELY, OH. ENJOY.
343
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:01,680
BRIAN, BRI-- I--I DON'T
UNDERSTAND THIS.
344
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,550
WHY HAVEN'T WE
TAKEN OFF YET?
345
00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:05,890
FAY, FAY, FAY,
THE TRAVEL AGENTS
CAN'T KNOW THIS,
346
00:15:06,390 --> 00:15:08,290
[whispering]
BUT THE PLANE IS MISSING.
347
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,030
THE PLANE'S MISSING?
348
00:15:10,030 --> 00:15:12,690
THEIR PLANE'S MISSING.
OH, THIS IS EVEN BETTER
THAN I THOUGHT.
349
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,260
YOUR PLANE IS MISSING?
350
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:16,400
OH, NO. YOU KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW HOW
THESE RUMORS GET STARTED.
351
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,400
WE'RE JUST DOING
A--A SMALL, LITTLE
PRE-FLIGHT SAFETY ADJUSTMENT.
352
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,370
NOW, IF YOU'D LIKE ME
TO BYPASS THAT...
353
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:23,810
NO, NO, L-LOOK, JUST--
JUST--JUST STEP ON IT.
FINE, FINE.
354
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,310
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR YOUR PATIENCE. THANK YOU.
YOU ALL LOOK GREAT.
355
00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:28,310
FAY, I WANT YOU
TO GET ON THE HORN
RIGHT NOW.
356
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:29,810
I WANT YOU TO SEE
IF YOU CAN RENT A PLANE.
357
00:15:29,810 --> 00:15:32,580
BUT DON'T LET ANYBODY
KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOIN',
OTHERWISE WE'RE DEAD MEAT.
358
00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:34,680
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"WE," PALEFACE?
359
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,520
(Lowell)
PSST, BRIAN.
360
00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:38,950
YES, YES, YES, YES.
WHAT IS IT, LOWELL?
361
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:40,960
YOUR PROBLEMS ARE OVER.
YOU FOUND MY PLANE?
362
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:41,960
EVEN BETTER.
363
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,460
BRIAN HACKETT,
MEET PEGGY McCLOSKEY.
364
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:45,960
HOUSEWIFE, TOWN PSYCHIC.
365
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,470
OH, NO.
YOU DIDN'T BRING ME
A PSYCHIC. LOWELL!
366
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:52,470
MR. HACKETT,
I'M NO CHARLATAN.
367
00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:54,970
I'M JUST
AN ORDINARY HOUSEWIFE
WITH PARANORMAL POWERS
368
00:15:54,970 --> 00:15:57,440
I CAN NEITHER EXPLAIN
NOR CONTROL.
369
00:15:57,870 --> 00:15:59,880
WHAT THE HELL?
WHAT THE HELL?
370
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,510
DO YOU KNOW
WHERE MY PLANE IS?
371
00:16:01,510 --> 00:16:03,510
LET ME SEE.
372
00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:05,010
NOW, THE PLANE
WAS ONCE IN YOUR HANGAR.
373
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:08,520
WHOA! HAS SHE STEPPED OVER
FROM THE OTHER SIDE OR WHAT?
374
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,520
I NEED TO FEEL SOMETHING
THAT'S BEEN IN THE PLANE.
375
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:17,030
BRIAN'S BEEN
IN THE PLANE.
376
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,030
PERFECT.
377
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,230
ATTENTION, WEARY TRAVELERS.
378
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:27,270
TIRED OF WAITING FOR FLIGHTS
THAT NEVER LEAVE?
379
00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:30,670
FLY AEROMASS'S
COMFORT SERVICE TO BOSTON.
380
00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:33,510
THE PLANE'S
RIGHT OUTSIDE THE GATE.
YOU CAN SEE IT. THERE IT IS.
381
00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:37,150
FOLKS, FOLKS, FOLKS, FOLKS,
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
DON'T GO.
382
00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:39,110
WELL, GIVE US
ONE GOOD REASON
WHY WE SHOULDN'T.
383
00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:40,620
ONE OF HIS PILOTS
IS NARCOLEPTIC
384
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,620
AND THIS MAN
CONSTANTLY DENIES IT.
385
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,120
HE'S LYING!
SEE!
386
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,620
THE COVER-UP CONTINUES.
PHENOMENAL.
JUST HAVE A SEAT.
387
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:48,590
ALL OF YOU, YOUR FLIGHT
WILL BE LEAVING SHORTLY.
388
00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:49,990
MR. HACKETT.
389
00:16:49,990 --> 00:16:51,490
DID YOU IT?
YOU FIND THE PLANE?
390
00:16:51,490 --> 00:16:55,000
OH, NO, BUT I HIT
A HUGE POTHOLE
OUT ON THE TAXIWAY.
391
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,500
MAN, I REALLY
TRASHED MY BIKE.
392
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:57,970
OH, DEAR,
I BETTER HAVE A LOOK.
393
00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:01,470
IF YOU EVER EXPECT
TO GET ANOTHER BOOKING
FROM MY TRAVEL AGENCY,
394
00:17:01,470 --> 00:17:04,510
YOU'D BETTER GET US OUT
OF THIS DAMN TERMINAL.
395
00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:07,210
AND MISS THE FLOOR SHOW?
IT'S JUST ABOUT TO BEGIN.
396
00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:08,210
OW! NOT THE IODINE.
397
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:09,710
IT STINGS! IT STINGS!
398
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,710
IF YOU TRAVEL WITH ME,
399
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:14,820
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO
THROUGH THE METAL DETECTOR.
400
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:17,820
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE SANDPIPER V.I.P. LOUNGE
401
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:20,820
IS PROUD TO PRESENT
THE EXOTIC MUSICAL STYLINGS
402
00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:22,320
OH!
OF HELEN CHAPEL
403
00:17:22,820 --> 00:17:24,330
AND HER ENCHANTED CELLO.
404
00:17:24,730 --> 00:17:26,090
BRIAN, WHAT ARE YOU--
HELEN, YOU JUST HAVE TO
405
00:17:26,090 --> 00:17:27,600
HELP ME STALL
FOR A FEW MINUTES.
NO, I DON'T.
406
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,600
YES, YOU DO.
NO, I DON'T.
407
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,100
WELL, THEN, FINE.
YOU'LL JUST SEE JOE
ON CONJUGAL VISITS. FINE.
408
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,600
WHAT'RE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
DON'T YOU SEE?
409
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,100
HE FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS,
HE KILLS ME,
GOES TO PRISON,
410
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,610
AND THEN YOU'LL ONLY
SEE HIM ONCE A MONTH
IN THOSE SWEATY OLD TRAILERS.
411
00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:39,340
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
THAT'S FINE.
WHAT?
412
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,840
LOOK, HELEN, HELEN,
HELEN, PLEASE.
IF OUR RELATIONSHIP
413
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,350
MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU...
414
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,720
OK.
415
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,220
I LOVE YOU.
416
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,720
OH, AND, UH, DON'T PLAY
ANY OF THAT CLASSICAL STUFF.
417
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,790
YOU KNOW,
KEEP IT PEPPY, PEP...
418
00:17:53,290 --> 00:17:54,790
HI. HI.
419
00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:57,290
OYSTER CRACKERS. TAKE ONE.
PASS 'EM ON. OYSTER CRACKERS.
420
00:17:57,290 --> 00:17:58,790
ANY REQUESTS?
421
00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:00,800
HOW ABOUT THE THEME SONG
FROM MISSING?
422
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,600
I'M SORRY, BRIAN.
DON'T TELL ME THAT.
423
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,600
I TALKED TO
EVERY RENTAL OUTFIT
ON THE ISLAND.
424
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,400
[cello playing]
THERE ARE NO PLANES
FOR RENT.
425
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,100
OH, GOD.
426
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:12,840
BUT IF YOU EVER NEED TO
RENT A DIALYSIS MACHINE,
I KNOW JUST THE PLACE.
427
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:14,240
I HAD JUST STEPPED
OUT OF THE SHOWER
428
00:18:14,740 --> 00:18:15,740
WHEN I HEARD
THESE VOICES
429
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:18,750
SAYING SOMETHING
ABOUT MOBY-DICK.
430
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:19,750
THERE THEY ARE!
431
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,250
THEY'RE THE ONES
THAT BROKE INTO MY HOUSE.
432
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:23,790
AND THERE'S THE RINGLEADER.
433
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,790
UH, I'M--I'M NOT TAKING
THE RAP FOR THIS, BRIAN.
434
00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:28,460
UH, OFFICER, I CAN
EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.
435
00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:29,960
NO...
436
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,590
[band playing]
437
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,960
ALMOST EVERYTHING.
438
00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:40,770
[whistle blowing]
439
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,870
HELLO. I'M MR. GREELY,
440
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:45,640
DIRECTOR OF
THE SIASCONSET HIGH
MARCHING MULES.
441
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,340
HACKETT,
WHAT IS GOIN' ON HERE?
442
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,040
THINK I FORGOT
TO MAKE A PHONE CALL.
443
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:49,980
WHERE'S THE PLANE?
444
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:52,350
AH, THAT SEEMS TO BE
THE QUESTION OF THE DAY.
445
00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:53,850
IT WILL BE HERE SHORTLY.
446
00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:56,350
JUST--JUST--
I TELL YOU WHAT, GUYS,
IN THE VERNACULAR OF MUSIC,
447
00:18:56,850 --> 00:18:57,890
[phone ringing]
TAKE 5.
448
00:18:57,890 --> 00:18:59,120
WHERE DO YOU WANT ESTHER?
449
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,090
ESTHER. JUST...
CAN'T SHE WAIT IN HERE
WITH THE REST OF YOU?
450
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:03,220
OK, IF YOU SAY SO.
451
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:06,230
HACKETT, THE CONTROL TOWER
JUST CALLED.
452
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,230
I HAVE GOT A PLANE
TRYING TO PARK
453
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,570
BUT YOUR JUNIOR PILOT
LEFT HIS BIKE
ON THE TAXIWAY.
454
00:19:11,570 --> 00:19:14,170
MR. HACKETT,
MY PATIENCE IS WEARING THIN.
455
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,440
[mule braying]
YES...
456
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:17,870
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
457
00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:21,740
(Greely)
THAT'S ESTHER, THE MASCOT
OF THE MARCHING MULES.
458
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:24,250
THINGS ARE STARTING
TO UNRAVEL HERE.
459
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,450
THE BIKE. THE BIKE.
460
00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:28,950
[cello playing]
461
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,370
FAY, WHAT IS ALL THIS?
462
00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,200
JOE, YOU'RE BACK.
463
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,570
OH, YEAH,
IT'S MUCH BETTER.
THANKS.
464
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,510
NO, I MEAN YOU'RE BACK.
YOU'RE HERE IN THE FLESH.
465
00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:53,940
UH, YEAH, YEAH.
466
00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:56,580
THE DOCTOR SENT ME HOME
EARLIER THAN EXPECTED.
467
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,080
HEY, WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON HERE?
468
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,020
UH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
469
00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:03,850
JOE, YOUR BACK.
470
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:05,190
YES, LOWELL, I AM.
471
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:07,460
NO, I MEAN YOUR BACK.
HOW IS IT?
472
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,830
FINE. IT'S FINE.
473
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:13,260
JOE, YOU'RE BACK.
474
00:20:13,260 --> 00:20:16,630
YES, MY STUPID BACK IS FINE
AND I'M HERE, DAMN IT!
475
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:18,830
NOW, WOULD YOU TELL ME
WHAT IS GOING ON?
476
00:20:18,830 --> 00:20:20,340
ALL RIGHT, HACKETT
THAT'S IT. TIME'S UP.
477
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,340
[all chattering]
478
00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:26,340
QUIET!
479
00:20:27,510 --> 00:20:29,010
YOU'VE BEEN
IN THE PLANE.
480
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,390
BRIAN, WE NEED TO TALK.
481
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,220
JOE. JOE, JOE, JOE.
482
00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,730
I--I--I COULD GIVE YOU
A VERY LONG SONG AND DANCE
483
00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:46,230
ABOUT WHAT YOU SAW
OUT THERE.
484
00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,730
SOME OF IT
MIGHT EVEN BE TRUE,
485
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:50,730
BUT--BUT IT ALL
BOILS DOWN TO THIS.
486
00:20:50,730 --> 00:20:53,740
I DON'T KNOW WHY,
I DON'T KNOW HOW,
487
00:20:53,740 --> 00:20:55,240
BUT THE PLANE
488
00:20:55,740 --> 00:20:56,740
IS GONE.
489
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,040
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
THE PLANE IS...
490
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,340
HERE.
491
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:04,850
IT'S GONE HERE.
492
00:21:04,850 --> 00:21:06,350
IT'S HERE NOW.
493
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,350
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
494
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:11,350
OH! OH, THANK YOU, GOD.
495
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:14,860
WELL, WHY WOULDN'T IT
BE HERE? OF COURSE,
IT WAS GONE EARLIER, RIGHT?
496
00:21:14,860 --> 00:21:16,360
YEAH.
Y-YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?
497
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,860
WELL, YEAH, THE GUYS
FROM NEW BEDFORD CAME
498
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:20,060
AND TOOK IT OUT
FOR ITS 100-HOUR CHECK,
DIDN'T THEY?
499
00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:22,560
THEY DID? THEY DID!
OF COURSE, THEY DID.
500
00:21:23,470 --> 00:21:24,970
WHY--WHY ARE
YOU SO SURPRISED?
501
00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:26,500
IT WAS ALL
IN THE DAILY SCHEDULE.
502
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,500
THE DAILY SCHEDULE.
503
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,500
WHOA, I'M TELLING YOU, JOE,
504
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,010
'CAUSE WITHOUT
THAT DAILY SCHEDULE,
505
00:21:31,010 --> 00:21:32,510
I WOULDN'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS DOING.
506
00:21:32,510 --> 00:21:34,010
THAT'S REALLY GOOD.
THE DAILY SCHEDULE! LOOK.
507
00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:36,010
I JUST HAVE A FEW
LOOSE ENDS TO TIE UP
OUT THERE.
508
00:21:36,010 --> 00:21:38,250
AND BY THE WAY,
DO WE HAVE ENOUGH PETTY CASH
LYING AROUND FOR BAIL MONEY?
509
00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:41,280
D-DON'T EVEN WORRY
ABOUT THAT! YOU LOOK GREAT.
GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
510
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,550
[gasping]
THE PLANE'S BACK!
I KNOW THAT.
511
00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,050
GOD LOVES ME.
512
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,060
HELEN, D-DID I SEE
A MULE OUT THERE?
513
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,730
UH...
514
00:21:52,730 --> 00:21:55,230
THE BAND AND
THE--THE POLICEMAN
AND THE WOMAN WITH THE...
515
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,230
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
BRIAN'S GONNA
TAKE CARE OF THIS.
516
00:21:57,730 --> 00:21:59,230
IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
YEAH.
517
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,240
IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK.
I THINK.
518
00:22:01,940 --> 00:22:03,440
MMM, OH, OH, UH, CAREFUL.
519
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,940
DOCTOR PUT YOU
ON MY LIST OF DON'TS
FOR ANOTHER WEEK.
520
00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:07,440
OH, RIGHT. SORRY.
521
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:09,440
JOE,
522
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,950
DIDN'T YOU USED TO
HAVE HAIR ON YOUR ARMS?
523
00:22:16,690 --> 00:22:18,690
(Joe)
IT'S A LONG STORY.
37199
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