All language subtitles for The.Real.L.Word.Los.Angeles.S02E01.HDTV.FQM.en

♪ It was just the other night ♪

♪ I don't want
to think about it ♪

♪ I don't want to start a fight ♪

♪ I don't want
to think about it ♪

♪ every time
I take a step left right ♪

♪ yeah I think I'm gonna
sleep real good tonight ♪

♪ just thinkin' about it ♪

♪ you'll find a way ♪

♪ to make me crazy, hazy ♪

♪ so hypnotized ♪

♪ think of the blue skies,
blue eyes ♪

♪ and I'll never roam again ♪

♪ I'm back in love again ♪

♪ find my way back home again ♪

Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

This is Whitney.
I can't come to the phone right now,

so leave a message,
and I'll get back to you

as soon as I can.
Thanks.

Hi, babe, it's Sara.

I just wanted
to call you and say hi

and see what you're doing.

I feel really weird about
things being awkward between us.

I think that
we should talk about it

and try and smooth things over,

'cause I think
it's worth a shot still.

Give me a call
as soon as you get this, okay?

Talk to you soon.
Bye.

The lesbian wheel is my life.

It's lesbians
entering and exiting

and entering again and exiting
in one constant flow.

And at the center
of that wheel is Sara.

- Cheers.
- To what?

To us.

You're supposed to say it.

Cheers to us.

So let's talk about
how much you miss me.

Last year, we had
such an intense connection.

Sara and I
were pretty hot and heavy.

We were instantly drawn together.

And it's like,
we couldn't keep our hands

off of each other.

I don't know how
I'm supposed to be around you.

Just be—
See, this is the thing

is you think too much about
what you're supposed to do.

Just let it be.

Be open and in the present.

That's how I was.

I was like that.

But, like,
I feel like I don't know

what the next move
is supposed to be.

If I call you
and I want to hang out

and you want to hang out,

instead of fighting the fact

that you want to hang out
with me like you have been,

give in to the fact
that you want to,

and come hang out with me.

Sara can be shady.

Like, she can't be trusted.

At Dinah Shore,
Sara hooked up with Romi,

who I'd been seeing.

A lot of my friends
have warned me about Sara,

and said that
she's not good for me.

I don't know what
I'm supposed to do with you.

Just love me.

I will be the best girlfriend
you ever have.

Like, I will be with you
and be the best girlfriend.

You make it so easy.

You're fighting yourself,
you know?

Yeah, because—

Just because
I have an urge to, like—

heroin addicts
have the urge to do heroin.

Oh, my God. Really?
You're comparing this?

It's like I'm addicted to you.

It's really frustrating

that I know that
she's going against

something that she wants.

Living in the past
isn't gonna get you anywhere.

You know, what are we doing?

Let's be together.
You know?

It's, like,
I just want to shake her.

And be like,
"I know you want this,

so let's do this."

I'm sexually frustrated.

I am.

I can't deny it anymore.

I haven't even fucking...

You just get under my...

Soul...

Like some form of leprosy.

Slowly eating away
at my limbs and my skin.

That's what you are.

I like those limbs.

Mm.

♪ You want a good girl ♪

♪ good, good girl ♪

♪ good girl ♪

♪ keep the conversation
safe and polite ♪

♪ you want a good girl ♪

♪ good, good girl ♪

♪ good girl ♪

♪ tucked away
in bed every night ♪

♪ you want... ♪

Happy Birthday, baby.

Hi, honey.

Are you getting the scenic?

I'm getting the angles, baby.

Today is my 29th birthday.

And I'm visiting New York
from L.A.

For the weekend to celebrate
with my girlfriend.

'Cause I love New York.

Did you have fun?

Baby, we got to go.

I started dating Kelsey

a little bit after
me and Whitney were dating

or being together.

I think I thought
I loved Whitney,

but that was more
infatuation and lust.

Oh, God.
Oh, my...

As time has gone by,
I think I realized

that I wasn't getting
what I wanted from her,

and I was bound
and determined to get that.

- Baby, we're here.
- Love you.

We're here and we're queer.

We're here, we're queer.
Get used to it.

Kelsey's so cute.

We could build a snowman.

She is exactly my type.

Like, from head to toe, my type.

She makes me feel like
there's nobody else in the world

that she's even looking at.

Like I am it.

And I love that.
I need that.

Down here?

You're cold.

Oh, baby.

Yeah, I know.

You're so happy that we're
holding hands and skipping.

You're so happy.

Want to get
a picture of you here?

Yeah.
You want to?

Yay.

Let me get one of you.

Okay, look your best.

It's not a modeling shoot.

We've been together and living
together for ten months now,

and we've been through a lot
in our short relationship,

and you can tell that both of us,

the one thing that we do have
is we want to be together.

We want to make it work.

Do what?

Oh, no, don't worry.

She goes in for it.

When I'm wasted and drunk
and you take advantage of me?

That's just...

We're going through
a little bit of a dry spell.

At this point, it's been
three weeks since we've had sex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

God.

So frustrating.

♪ Locked out
at a quarter to 12:00 tonight ♪

Well, thank you all
for coming, guys.

Hollywood!

Hear, hear.
Hollywood!

So I'm moving to L.A.

I'm leaving New York after
ten years of being here,

and my girlfriend, Vivian,
of a year and a half,

I adore her.
I think she's great.

It's more like denial
that you're actually

going away anywhere.
You know that?

Like, who's gonna
look out for you, Claire?

I'm going out to L.A.
for various reasons.

I want to create a website
about lesbian life,

and then I have
my ex-girlfriend,

my first girlfriend
lives in L.A.,

Francine.

Both of us haven't totally
let go of each other,

and haven't let go of the fact

that maybe we are
each other's soul mates.

Who's gonna look out for you
in Hollywood, Hollywood?

Like, you have to understand
why I would worry.

Because, it's like...

- And I love Barb.
- Yeah, basically.

She's like your father figure.

Your Asian dad.

You're more Asian than I am.

I am more Asian than half the...

You're just a rice chaser.
That's okay.

Oh...

- I'm sorry.
- Who says that?

You can't say stuff like that.

All my friends say I, you know,

"you have the perfect girlfriend.

Your girlfriend is perfect."
And she is perfect.

It's a hard thing to let
somebody that perfect go,

and in the end it might
be one of my biggest regrets,

because I might lose her forever,

but I feel like
if I don't go out to L.A.

And figure out why
I'm holding on to Francine

and why—
what our relationship is,

I'll never be able to give
Vivian, like, all of myself.

♪ Flashbulbs ♪

♪ bright lights ♪

♪ big beat, bodies tight ♪

♪ carpet down, heels up ♪

Do you love this?

I'm the cream in the Oreo.
I love it.

- Yeah.
- It's gorgeous. Okay.

Taste the rainbow.

♪ So beautiful, magical ♪

Can you look at her
with your eyes?

Let me see what
that looks like. Yeah.

Cool?

Reset for hair
and makeup everybody.

So what are you
gonna do this week?

My ex-girlfriend Claire

is moving here, uh, tomorrow.

- Uh-oh.
- Yeah.

Is that a good or a bad thing?

Um, we'll see.
I don't know.

It, uh, gives me anxiety.

So we were together
for, like, 3 1/2 years,

and it's been, like,
almost three years

since we broke up,
but, you know, I don't know.

Still having
some ex issues or something.

And where's she staying
while she's here?

- With me temporarily.
- Ooh!

I'm, like, a hot mess.
Or just the mess.

You know, I can't believe
she's actually moving here.

I mean, I'm excited,
but at the same time,

I have some anxiety about it.

When we were together
in a relationship,

it was just very intense,

'cause we were both young.

It's our first love.

And I had a really hard time
getting over her,

and now whenever I enter
into a relationship,

I end up not taking it seriously

because of this thing with
Claire that I'm holding on to.

I don't know what's wrong with me

that I can't get over it.

But she has a girlfriend,

so up to the point
where she moves here,

she has this, like, girlfriend,

and then I don't know
what's going on, but, like...

What's her girlfriend think?

Well, she can't be happy
about it, obviously.

- You know?
- Yeah.

- Love you guys.
- Love you.

For putting up
with this thing right here.

I am concerned

that her and Francine
might become a couple again.

It's kind of hard
to just be okay with that.

You know?
I don't know what to expect.

I don't know what's
gonna happen, you know?

I don't know what's gonna happen
with her and Francine.

I don't know.

It's a lot of
question marks right now.

Be honest, Claire.
Are you gonna cry?

Look at this right now.
Look at this.

This is what you're leaving.
You know what I'm saying?

Like, this.

Aw.

This is definitely my first love.

And heartbreak.

It's just—just sucks,

because I love
the shit out of her,

and I can't imagine, you know,
not waking up next to her,

and I have to, and, you know...

♪ So hard to take ♪

♪ another broken heart ♪

♪ so hard to fake ♪

All right, so you're doing
what we're doing at V.F.E.,

and then incorporating it
with the campus.

What I was thinking is, like,

if we do—if we do
staff credentials.

Like if I go,
"All right, I'm Sajdah.

"I'm a volunteer at
vote for equality.

"Um, I've worked on a lot of
different campaigns,

you know, in the past."

I'll say, "but the difference
about this campaign

"opposed to the other ones

is it was one
that directly affected me."

I moved to L.A.
a few months ago from D.C.

I work at vote for equality
as, like, a field organizer

on college campuses,
recruiting students

to help to reverse
proposition eight.

- This has to happen now.
- Mm-hmm.

This has to happen right now.

Proposition eight
was a ballot measure

that banned same-sex marriage
in California.

We actually go out
and talk to voters

who, uh,
voted for proposition eight,

and try to understand
why they did.

And we've actually
changed the minds and hearts

of a lot of people.

Oh, my God.

I'm putting in my two weeks,

'cause I can't work with you.

I'm gonna get fired either way.

Listen. Let me tell you this.
She started it.

I look at her, and she giggles.

You can't turn
a straight girl gay. I'm sorry.

That's not my intention.

I'm telling you,
I used to be a straight.

I still remember straight days.

Okay, go ahead.

I'm new to L.A. life
and L.A. lesbians.

You know, like,
I've only been out for a year.

And I was on the ballot
for prom queen in high school.

Yeah, things have changed a lot.

I went through a transition.

After I first came out,
it clicked.

But with my mom,
she would say it shocked her.

She's like,
"oh, it's just another phase.

"Just like you wore
light blue every day,

"or how you played football
in middle school.

It's just a phase."

And, um,
but she quickly kind of saw

that this one wasn't going away.

You're one pride away from
entering the rainbow coalition.

We're gonna give you a
complimentary pack of skittles.

- Get back to work, please.
- I'm working.

You're the one that's distracted.

"How a lesbian can make a baby.

Achieving motherhood is not
straightforward for lesbians."

No shit.

Kacy and I have been married
for 2 1/2 years.

We had a very finite window
to get married,

because we were so afraid that
prop eight was going to pass,

and it did.

When are you ovulating?

The third week in February.

How do you know this?

Well, when you're trying
to get pregnant,

it's kind of important.

So now we're ready to have a baby

and start our family
and start the next chapter.

Time out. We're not ready.
No one's ever ready.

Every year we have
a different baby date,

and then the baby date
gets closer,

and we're like, "uh..."

You know, you start to freak out.

So we just kind of
looked at each other and said,

"all right, that's it."

"Let's just jump in
and go for it."

I need to do my basic—

a basic metabolic panel,

and a C.B.C. with diff with P.I.T.

But I feel like such an idiot.
I wonder if, like—

does everybody go through this?

I just have no idea.

There's just too many options.

Well, we're gonna do it here.

Well, look at us.
We don't know what we're doing.

Okay.
You okay?

I need a cigarette.

I think I might

- need a cigarette.
- Making a baby is hard work.

Yeah, seriously.
And no fucking fun.

Where's all the fun?

Starting this process
is overwhelming.

I mean, we need to find a lawyer.

- Find a doctor.
- Find a doctor.

- Find a gay-friendly...
- Gay-friendly.

Um, quit smoking.

For the mom.
Yay.

Okay, so let's focus on the shit
that we can control now.

So we know when you're ovulating.

At least we found a donor
that really fits

everything that we're longing for.

I've been friends with Brent
for about eight years now.

We will call him this weekend.

Mm-hmm.

Um, but I kind of think
we should talk to a doctor

before we call him,

because what if
they need him out here

maybe earlier than that

to do some sort of tests, or—
you know?

So the anonymous way,

I mean, I—you just
don't know what you get,

and I want—
I want a vibe of someone.

Like, you know,
I don't want some Joe Shmoe

that needed money
for a six-pack

so he went and beat off
into a cup.

Just step by step.

We'll breathe through it.

It's gonna be fine.

It'll all be worth it.

All this craziness.
Jesus.

♪ I'm a junkie for your love ♪

♪ a maniac for your touch ♪

Hi.
Hi, my baby. Hi, baby.

She's so excited.

Sara texts me that
she has a couple of things

she needs done around
her apartment, fixing-wise.

- Hi.
- What do you have?

I have tools.

No, I don't really have tools.

I only have a hammer.

We are not together.

And we should not be together.

Yep, Sara's making up excuses
to get me over there.

I'm also
falling into those traps,

and going for those excuses.

You don't have a ladder?

No.

So what?
Are you gonna lift me?

Can still lift your butt up.

Do you like the—
my grip that I have right here?

It's good, right?

No, you need it, like, up higher.

Oh, thanks.

All right. Hold me.

'Cause if you let me fall...

Like, up,
or just, like, in place?

How many lesbians does
it take to change a light bulb?

- Yes.
- Good team.

Whoo!

Who needs a ladder?

I think one of the biggest things

is I like taking care of people.

It makes me feel good
or comfortable,

and Sara likes
being taken care of.

Whoa!
You know what happens?

There's a fan in there, so your
hair could get sucked in.

Then I'll die.
Here you go.

No, put that down.

Oh, it's not too bad.

Here you go.
Take a bite.

It's chocolaty right here.

I always know how
to win your heart.

I'm easy.

Chocolate, puppies.

Vaginas.

Thank you.

See ya.

See you later.

So I'll send you my bill.

Thank you.
I really...

- No problem.
- So I'll call you later?

If I need any more—a few things
that need to be tinkered with.

Yeah.

- You know?
- Mm-hmm.

Bye, Raja.

See ya.

All I know
is I'm going home tonight,

and I think
it's the smarter decision.

Because I know
in the depths of my brain

that Sara is not good for me.

♪ Gotta be on top of me ♪

♪ gotta be on top of me, ah ♪

♪ keep it cool... ♪

So this? Yes.

Oh, this is
the quintessential L.A. jacket.

That's a quintessential
lesbian jacket.

No, no, no.
But listen.

This is the L.A. jacket

that you wear
with the collar floppy,

glasses, simple,
like, white shirt.

No, I'm bringing New York there.

I'm not gonna dress like them.

Yeah, I know,
but you can meet a happy medium,

- and this black is good.
- Oh, I can...

Oh, good. Okay.

And it's a good brand.

I don't know, but—

Oh, no. Come stain.

- There's a come stain.
- Pussy sauce.

Me and Whitney dated
for about 4 1/2 years

when she lived in New York.

Well, we lived together
for three years.

We had dogs.
We talked about getting married.

And then we broke up,

because she swears
that she didn't cheat on me,

but she cheated on me.

And that's when she decided
actually to move to L.A.

This...

That's a no.

So then let's make a no pile.

I decided to move to L.A.

Because I feel like
I've done it in New York.

I'm at the top of my game here.

I've worked for two of the top
hair stylists in New York,

and I'm ready
to work it out in L.A.

Yeah.

Is that a clitoral stimulator?

Oh, my God.
I hate you guys.

You guys are so stupid.

I was a little nervous
about Rachel moving to L.A.,

just because
I've lived with Rachel

and I've lived with Whitney.

Whitney's crazy in her own,
like, nonchalant,

"I don't notice what I'm doing,

I'm not doing anything wrong,"
kind of way.

And Rachel's just more emotional.

All right, Hana's coming up.

Hana's coming up.

Hey, girl.

What's up, girl?

How are you?
Mwah.

How are you?

Hana is Sara's ex of,
like, five years.

And when I met Hana

is when I found out that
Whitney and Sara were dating.

I didn't even know who Sara was.

And I guess now
through Hana again I find out

that they're—
that they're not dating.

Do you need a cigarette?

Oh...

Yeah, can I have one?

God. I hate you so much.

Look what I found
when I was packing.

I have to say, like—

and nothing to down
anyone Whitney dates,

but I know her,

and I know that
no matter who she dates

I will always be the Mary,

and they will always
be the Rhoda.

And that's just how it is.

♪ You can change your mind ♪

♪ a million times ♪

♪ it's okay
we've got everything ♪

♪ you can change your mind ♪

♪ at lightning speed ♪

♪ it's okay ♪

These kids are gonna be scared.

If you were six and you saw this
strapped to somebody,

wouldn't you be a little—?

I mean, I don't understand
the point of this at all.

This seems drastic for these
kids to be training on.

I enjoy working with Alyssa,
doing special effects.

Today we are working on a job
for the New Zealand red cross.

Stand up, you dick.

Sara keeps texting me.

You're too busy right now.

Text her.

Too busy.
Sorry.

I feel like I'm in
this middle ground

where I don't know
what I'm supposed to do.

It's just a matter of keeping
it in your pants or not.

I hate to sound like
a judgmental asshole.

It's just I've known Whitney
for 11 years,

and I've known her
long enough to know

when something
isn't going to work.

No one wants
the two of them together.

If you ask every
single one of your friends

that's friends with Sara,

every single one of them
has had an issue with her.

If you can't trust her,
then what do you have?

A few months ago,
all of her friends were like,

"dude, we heard Sara say

"that she thought
that Whitney had a big ego

"and she could never really
be in a relationship with her,

"but that she thought
that doing the show

would be really advantageous to
her career as a hair stylist."

And we told Whitney
all of this stuff.

It's just very hard for me
to understand what it is

that she sees in her.

Um, Rachel comes at,
like, 5:00.

- Like 5:00-ish.
- I'm so excited.

I'm actually excited
about her coming too.

- Two words.
- What?

Be careful.

I mean, I love Rachel to death,

and I think that Rachel

has every intention
of being your friend,

but I think that there's
also still feelings there.

Yeah, Rachel and I
are very physically compatible.

Like, we've always had good sex.

I think I could always
revisit something with her.

You know, I need, like,

somebody to come
sweep me off my feet.

So do you want
to sleep with Rachel?

No.

Really?

Two days ago you said you
were gonna have sex with Rachel.

Oh, my God.
Alyssa!

You did.
I'm just saying.

I want to know
if that changed now.

Fuckin' ass, dude.

♪ W-h-i-p-p-e-d ♪

♪ you got to learn ♪

♪ got to learn, learn
to please me ♪

♪ w-h-I-p-p-e-d ♪

All right, babe.

I'll call you before I take off.

Thank you.

All right.
Don't cry.

Let's just do this quickly.

I'll call you when I land.

I love you, baby.

So I just said bye to Vivian.

It was a lot harder
than I thought it was gonna be.

Um...

It's gonna be okay.

Let's just not forget that.
All right?

- I love you.
- Love you.

I'm gonna go.

I feel like a jerk,

'cause if somebody asked me
to be okay with this,

I wouldn't be okay.

But my intention is not
to do anything to hurt her.

It's just to figure out myself.

♪ Everyone
feels foolishly... ♪

I am really in love with Vivian,

but I also have
this connection to Francine

that I can't deny,

so it's not like I'm, you know,

consciously trying
to get Francine back,

but there is that—
there is that thought.

♪ On the street ♪

♪ you stood and stared ♪

How's it going?

Pretty good.
I think.

I don't know.
You tell me.

- Ooh, it is looking good.
- Thanks.

It's time to go pick up Rachel.

- Is it?
- Yep. Brushes down.

- Hold on.
- It's Rachel time.

Yeah.

Ooh, are you nervous?

I can tell you're nervous.

- You can?
- Uh-huh.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

I want Whitney to be happy,

and I want her
to be with somebody

that we all like
and that we all trust.

I do have a high standard,

but there are people out there
that I like, you know?

If she wanted to date Rachel,

I would probably do
a backflip right now.

I love Rachel, and I think
they're great together.

You really think I look nervous?

Yeah, you do.

Actually, the word
would be "terrified."

Shut up.

You look terrified
that Rachel's about to be here.

You're so stupid.

♪ Oh, baby ♪

Where is she?

♪ Ooh, hoo ♪

I don't know.

Oh.

Welcome to Los Angeles.

I expected you to have
a chalupa for me.

This is the day that
you never thought would come.

I know.

And now that it's here,

I don't feel
that you're as excited...

Shut up.

Let's see if this closes.

- It closed?
- Like a glove.

Me and whit's relationship
is amazing right now.

We have been communicating.

It's—it's really
like it used to be.

I would definitely
say it's inevitable

that me and Whitney
are going to hook up.

Watch the turds.

- Where?
- I don't know.

There might be some
lingering about.

She's living in my house.

Like, she's staying
in my back room.

She held a special place
in my heart for years.

Who knows? I mean,
we've given it a shot before,

so I don't know if it's
meant to be for the future.

Casual hook-up?

It's a possibility.

This is where I live.

♪ Sweetheart, stay close to me ♪

♪ and make me understand ♪

Hey, babe,
I'm jumping in the shower.

Tonight Kelsey and I
are meeting up with a friend,

my friend Becky
and her boyfriend David,

who I hadn't seen
in a little while.

Hot.

We're gonna have, like, just
a nice dinner and some drinks,

and it's, like,
their first time meeting Kelsey.

Are you gonna be
nice and social to everyone?

Naturally.

God.

Don't ask Becky and her boyfriend

500 awkward questions.

What do you mean
awkward question?

What qualifies
as an awkward question?

What qualifies
as an awkward question?

Once you catch on
that the response is, like,

that the question is weird,
then move on.

Well, you know what?

I can do whatever I want.

Okay. You can ask
whatever you want then.

You want me just to sit there
and be quiet and not say a word?

No, I want you to ask questions.

Why? Are you embarrassed?

No, I want you to ask questions,

and I want you
to get to know them.

Yeah, and that's what
I'm gonna do.

Okay, then that's
what you're gonna do.

Romi at times
runs the relationship.

Things are usually on her terms.

When I'm in the moment
and I'm doing something

and she wants to protect me,

or so I don't look foolish,
she'll stop me.

No, like, let me do that.

I don't need her
regulating any of that.

And it's really frustrating.

Feel better 'cause you showered?

I'm listening to music, baby.

Okay.
Never mind.

Can you see me?

Hold on a sec.

I don't even have a shirt on.

Come on.

You gonna make me late
on my date, yo.

That's what you're wearing?

It's a polo.
It's, like, a slim-fit polo.

No?
It's, like, a open mic.

Oh, okay.

So it's real chill, right?
So I'm good?

- Yeah, you good.
- All right, then. Cool.

Oh, shit. Hold up.

Yo, that's her.

That's your date?

Yeah, it's the girl.
Hello?

Hey.

I wanted to, uh, give you a call,

to let you know that I was
definitely coming tonight.

- Oh, okay.
- What time's it starting?

It's at 7:00.

We have some of the artists
showing up right now.

It's gonna be good.

A friend who's a lesbian

was talking about
being on match.Com,

and it surprised me,

because I thought match.Com
was only for straights.

So I just went and looked,
and I saw Chanel.

Chanel's beautiful.

So I found her on Facebook,

and, um, added her as a friend.

In the little Facebook exchange,

she invited me to this show
she was putting on that weekend.

So I was like,
"all right, I'll be there."

- Like, definitely.
- Go out and have a good time.

All right, I'll see you.

I'm worried that she might
not look like her picture.

I'm worried that she might not
be interested in me.

I'm worried
that she might be a straight.

You know, like maybe

she mistakenly clicked
"women for women."

So I'm excited, but kind of
nervous at the same time,

because it's a lot on the table.

Mom.

I just wanted to let you know
I met someone out here.

Her name is Chanel.

I'm about to go meet her
at this show.

She's cute of course.
Come on.

She's 24.

She turn 25 on the 30th.

Yes.

Aw.

Yeah, I'm excited.
I'm excited to meet up.

So we'll see how it goes.

What would be something crazy?

I'm not having sex, ma.

All right, mommy.
I love you.

All right.
I love you too.

All right, I'll call you
when I get back in the house.

All right.

She's the best.

I fuckin' love her.

It's all her fault.

'Cause I want somebody
just like her.

Hello?

Hi.
How are you?

Oh.

You're late.

I know.

This L.A. traffic.

It's not like this
on the east coast.

Okay. I know. I know.
How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

It's nice to see you.

It's nice to meet you as well.

Like, looking at her, like...

She's beautiful.

Like, her body's nice.

I mean, she's, like,
the right height.

Like, her walk—
I mean, everything.

Like, everything was there.

Let me go in and, uh,
check on the poets,

'cause they're trying
to sell their books right now,

so I'm gonna go
help 'em with that,

and then, um, when we're
kind of wrapping it up,

I'll come back and find you.

All right, good.

All right.
Bye, honey.

Thank you, God.

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes.

I think she might
like me a little bit.

We'll see.

Hi, guys.

Hi.

Hi. How are you?

I'm good.
Good to see you, honey.

Good to see you.

- Hi, babe.
- Good to see you.

- Hi.
- Good to see you.

Here we are.
The two birthday girls.

We were all in L.A.
at some point.

Birthday girls.

We had our birthday yesterday.

- With Elvis.
- And David Bowie.

Elvis.
David Bowie.

And now we're
celebrating in New York.

Yeah.
Can we have a kiss?

Kiss.

Give me a kiss.

I love you.

That's all I get?

Hey, that's all I get?

Here we go. Here we have
the argument of the day.

That's all I get?

Don't with your— ugh.

That's all she wants to give me.

She's arguing with me today.

Kelsey thinks I don't
give her enough attention.

But you're a guy.
You're different.

No, ask him.

Do you feel that Becky
gives you enough attention?

You want more attention,
don't you?

I know I want more attention.

- Oh.
- I don't think he does.

I think he's fine.

Are you content?

Uh, content? No.

No, content's not a good word.

No, they're not just,
like, satisfied.

So "content" is not a good word?

No.

You're telling me
that you're content,

and you're suggesting
that content is good.

I think so.

Content's not good.

I'm content.

How insulting.

So you're not happy.

How insulting.

I'm content.

Well, what would make you
happy in this relationship?

I want her to touch me more.

And why don't you touch her?

Because she wants it so bad.

Because I need it.

It's, like, I give you
everything you want.

What about Kelsey?

Therapy.
Thank you.

Let's just go.

Let me go to the restroom.

I know. And then
we leave and we're like,

"Did you—did you enjoy that?

I enjoyed that.
Did we all enjoy that?"

- Let's go.
- Come.

- I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- Overwhelmed.

Look, we're content
and we're going to the bathroom.

I love you and I give you,
like, everything.

I show you love in so many ways.

It's just different
than what you're asking for.

You are.

All right then.

So we've established that.

You just need a lot.

I hate that that's, like,
how you think of us.

What?
That I'm content?

Well, that you're just
content with me.

I think that you should
look into the fact too

that, like, yes,
I don't give that much that way,

but that maybe you've asked
for a little bit more

that most people can give,

and maybe to look at that
in yourself too,

that it's okay for people
to give it in different ways.

The thing is, I don't think
I'm asking for too much.

Okay, and I don't think
that I'm not giving too much.

That's why we're content.

- What?
- Hello kitty vibrator.

Oh, God.
That's gonna make it all better.

I wonder if the hello kitty
shoots sperm. No?

So I have a weird question.

- We're trying to make a baby.
- Okay.

And we would like to pretend
to do it the old fashioned way,

so is there anything that, like,

you can strap on and squirt
material at people?

This would probably
be the closest thing.

It's usually used as,
like, a butt douche.

I'm not comfortable making
our baby with a butt douche.

This feels very medical.
I'm just saying, like...

I mean, a turkey baster
would be better.

This isn't gonna happen
the all-natural way.

But, like, going to a doctor's
office is a little clinical,

so we would like to try it
at least a couple times at home.

I could get, like, a jock strap,

and we could just, like,
put something in there

that shoots it.

Do you think
that we could modify one?

- Home depot.
- That's the next stop.

You get the whole kit.

If it didn't work out here,
that's the next stop.

I thought what we could do
is we could take one

that looked reasonable size,

like, drill a hole in the middle,

and just kind of shove it in.

My thinking is that
we would get a straw,

funnel it in there,

and then kind of like, a, um,

uh, what do you—
spit—spit ball?

Yeah, well, I...

You would stick it in there...

A spit wad?

I don't know.
Yeah.

Never been so comfortable
talking about sperm

even when I was
sleeping with men.

Sperm, sperm, sperm!

You guys are even

a little more comfortable
about sperm than I am.

You'd be surprised.
Talk about it every day.

I want to know where
the hello kitty vibrator is.

Does that by any chance
squirt sperm?

No, but the side that vibrates
is actually her face.

I think we're gonna
try home depot.

Bye, Tom.
Thank you.

Let's just go make a baby.

I'll just put it in you.

Like, I'm like—

I don't know where anything is.

- You know how that is for me.
- I do.

But I think I'm being
pretty cool about it.

Pretty good. Once you get
to shower and decompress

you'll feel good.

Yeah, I know.

50...
52 pickup. Go.

- Hello?
- Hi.

- Hi.
- What are you doing?

What?

I don't know.
I don't think so.

It's fine.

Okay.

I mean, she just got here,

and it's been kind of hectic,

and, you know...

She didn't really sleep
last night and stuff, so...

I don't know.

You're not—do you feel weird
about her being here, or no?

Yeah, I miss you, but...

I don't know.

It's like Sara and I have this
magnetism towards each other,

and it pisses me off.

I can't get away from her
and she can't get away from me.

All right. Bye.

Night.

I know there's attraction
and a draw to Sara,

and it's taking a toll
on my soul.

So cheers.

Rachel, welcome to Los Angeles.

Welcome to the west coast.

The west coast is the best coast.

I'm really
starting to get excited.

Tomorrow morning.

He needed a couple days to think
about it a little more.

I told him, like, we're ready.

Brent's an ideal donor

because he's far enough away

where we don't
really think he'll be

day to day in the life
of our child.

He's close enough to where
we can fly him in

for the whole stuffing.

That—that sounds awful.

The stuffing.
The baby stuffing.

And he doesn't want
to be involved.

He wants to be uncle Brent.

And I can deal with uncle Brent.

It's papa Brent that I would
have a serious issue with.

So what if my vagina

never goes back the way
that it should be?

Are you still gonna love it?

Of course I'm still...

What if it's like...

I can't even take this
conversation seriously.

Really?

Virginia told me...

Oh, Jesus.
You know what?

I'm gonna email her and be like,

"Stop telling Cori things."

She told me that her mom

gave birth
to an 11-pound child.

Oh, shit.

And she was all stitched up.

And she's sitting there
in the chair.

She lifts up the gown
and looks at her vagina

and said,
"holy fuck. It's broken."

I don't really care
what your vagina looks like.

There's nothing it's hugging.

I mean, we can have more fun...

Promise you'll still love it?

I will still love you even
though your vagina's broken.

I will love you regardless.

I love you first thing
in the morning.

I love you after a long night.

I love you piss-ass drunk
peeing on the curb.

I love you in any way,
shape, or form.

I wouldn't have married you
if I didn't love you.

Let me get—shit.
I don't know if I can reach.

Mm. I love you.

I love you.

♪ I need your company, girl ♪

♪ I need your company ♪

♪ I need your company girl ♪

♪ I need your company ♪

♪ I need your company, girl ♪

♪ I need your company ♪

Being at the palms was, like,

my first all-girl scene.
Like, ever, and it's amazing,

'cause it's really, like,
all girls.

It's girls everywhere.
Beautiful women too.

It's like a kid in a candy store.

It's amazing.
But I was waiting for Chanel.

There we go.
Guys put a smile on my face.

I'm glad you guys came.

Let's go, then.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ Romeo, excessive beat ♪

♪ the things I can do to you ♪

♪ get it started, won't stop ♪

♪ until we're through it
together ♪

♪ and I hear
that it's cool... ♪

Chanel and I,

we're almost, like,
instantly comfortable.

We went from—
from being strangers

to, like, that step of getting
to know each other instantly.

It was really good.

It meant so much more
than a dance.

And the dance was plenty
by itself.

What?

You're no good.

I got a after-party special?

- What's that?
- Right.

What do you really want
for your birthday? Like...

I think I already got it.

I might have already gotten it.

I'm seri—
Why do you think I'm playing?

I'm so serious right now.

You come with them player lines.

It's not—

How can anyone, like, trust you

when you come with the—
with the game?

It's not game.

Guard up.

That's not fair at all.

That's not fair.

Damn, I really like this girl.

I don't know.
It's there.

Like, I'm crazy attracted to her.

Kind of,
'cause I think I like you.

I'm not sure.

Yeah?

Stop trying to get me
to say mushy stuff.

There you go.

Yeah, just like that.

- You're so funny.
- This is good.

♪ I can feel your love ♪

♪ I love the way it feels ♪

♪ when you're giving me
all you got ♪

I had to work late today,

and couldn't get to the airport
in time to pick up Claire,

so her parents went
and picked her up.

Yeah, I'm excited to see her.

At the same time, um,

I guess it is, like,
some sort of anxiety there,

because, um, I haven't seen her
for a while, so...

It'll be interesting.

I was a little anxious

about seeing Francine
for the first time.

I feel like it's a very bold move

that I just did to move out here.

You know?

I just left my life
and left my girlfriend

to give this—
this girl a chance.

Oh, my God.
Hi.

- How are you?
- Hi.

- Long time no see.
- I like your apartment.

It's much more set up
than it was last time I saw you.

Well, this looks good.

- What looks good?
- This looks good.

When I came here last time,

there was, like,
nothing back here.

I was giving you a compliment,

so you could maybe take that.

I wasn't being mean.

The minute
I walked into the door,

all these past feelings
came back,

and we had a lot
of unresolved issues.

I know that she comes
with a lot of baggage.

And now again it's, like,
when she comes here,

I was placed right back into it.

Things were pretty weird

last time we saw each other,
though.

I didn't think they were weird.

Thought they were nice
last time we saw each other.

- Think they're weird now.
- Things that were bad.

- Your birthday's next month.
- Oh, yeah.

I—I'll be somewhere else.
Don't worry.

Great.

See ya. Peace out.

Honey, you can't just
say things like that

and then, like, pretend like
you don't say things like that.

Oh, really?

Let's just be, like, honest.

Let's just be real here.

Well, what is going on?

You're just upset with—

What are you doing?
I'm not upset.

I have nothing
but good intentions

with coming out here.

So if you think
I'm coming out here—

Coming out here for what again?

- To come out here to—
- Why are you here?

- Why are you here?
- I want to—moved here.

I wanted to move to L.A.

Why L.A.?
That's so random for you?

You always used
to talk shit about L.A.

Why—why are you here?

- You know why I'm here.
- Why?

Because I wanted
to leave New York.

But you have a girlfriend.
Why are you in L.A.?

- But...
- This is awkward.

- You should know—
- You're in love with a girl.

- Why are you here?
- Franny, I do love Vivian.

So what are you trying to do?

I'm just trying
to understand you.

I'm not trying to do anything.

You're just being
self-centered.

I'm being self-centered?

Because you want your cake
and you want to eat it too.

You want—you want Vivian,

but you don't want me
to forget about you.

And you know what it is?

I think that's fuckin' selfish.

You just need to be
honest with yourself

and with other people around you,

because you're stomping
on other people

for your own benefit right now.

What do you want me to answer?

Why I'm out in L.A.?

I'm out in L.A. because I wanted
to get away from New York.

I'm out in L.A.
because I'm tired—

I'm tired of—I'm tired
of wondering about you.

Okay?
I'm tired of it.

So I either want
to figure it out with you—

Well, it's never
gonna be figured out

if you're fucking stringing
everyone else along.

- Vivian—
- And you know what?

I'm done. I'm done.

I'm not gonna be
a fucking pathetic person

and wait around for your ass.

Franny, you have every right
to be angry with me,

- but don't say mean things.
- I'm not saying mean things.

Don't go to your bag of tricks,

have a way to make me feel
like a piece of shit.

I'm not making you feel
like a piece of shit.

Well, you're doing
a good job of it.

You always make me feel
like a piece of shit.

When was the last time that
I said anything mean to you?

All the time where
you called me and you said,

"I have the best girlfriend ever,

and I'm still in love
with a piece of shit like you."

That's fucked up.

And you want
to have this argument—

No, I don't. I don't.

I can't deal with this right now.

My God.

♪ It's not the same ♪

♪ as I wanted it... ♪

This is so bad.

♪ It's not the same ♪

I can't make excuses
for my behavior.

I don't—you know,
on a level, she's right,

but I just got here,

and I wanted it to be nice.

And it's not nice already.

And it sucks.

♪ Yes, I swear I don't love you ♪

♪ you're not the one ♪

♪ it's not the same ♪

♪ ♪

Yeah, we're fine.

All right, then we're fine.

We're fine.

All right, honey.

Are you gonna be okay to walk?

Let's get a drink.
Let's get a drink.

I just want to be with you.

You're with me.

Yeah.

Thank you for tonight.

Did you have fun?

Yeah.

Thanks for being so amazing.

I love you, babe.

We got up to the point where
we were going to have sex,

and there was some, like,
making out going on,

and then did I just fall asleep?

Pretty much.

It's 1:30 your time.

I know. I'm—I'm like, um...

You know, I didn't sleep—

literally,
I didn't sleep last night,

and the night before
I slept for four hours.

So I'm running on—

on "I am totally delirious"
fumes.

I think we're all
gonna crash out early tonight.

I'm gonna go shower
and go to bed.

All right, kiwi,
you want to come with me?

I know you do.

All right, good night.

Good night.

Good night.

All right,
I'm gonna take a shower.

All right.
I'll see you at 8:30.

All right.
Good night.

I feel bad.

I know. Obviously.

It's only natural
that you would feel bad.

I didn't even tell Alyssa
that I was leaving.

Alyssa is not a huge fan of Sara.

You know, she has good reason

to not be 100% team
whoo-hoo Sara.

Yeah, if I'm hiding something,

I'm probably
doing something wrong.

And I don't know
on whose accord is that.

Like, who says
I'm doing something wrong?

Is it myself? Do I have
a guilty conscience about it?

Or is it about
the wrath of Alyssa?

Or all of the above?

I'm gonna go ahead with "C,"

all of the above.

Oh, God, babe.

Sara's like a drug to me.

It's like putting
a big old bag of heroin

in front of a heroin addict

and telling them
they can't touch it.

♪ Come close, close to me ♪

♪ so I can kiss you ♪

♪ I wrap my hands ♪

♪ my hands around your body ♪

♪ when you're gone ♪

♪ I really, really miss you ♪

♪ here we are ♪

He was supposed to call
ten minutes ago.

"Hi. I know this is
a very difficult decision,

but we are really..."

This is awful.
I don't know how to...

"I know this is
a very difficult decision,

"but we are really sitting here
waiting by the phone.

Do you have any idea
when we can talk?"

I think it's honest
and to the point.

Today's the day we're supposed
to get our final decision.

You know, the final go-ahead
that Brent's in.

And we had a phone date
for 1:30.

I mean, I'm—I'm totally
freaking out,

because I will be ovulating
exactly a month from now.

I know you hate this.

No, it just sucks.

Like...

Just hate having
no control over anything.

And I talked to him...

Like a year ago,
when we started thinking,

and he said, "Yes, of course,"

and now I don't know
what happened.

Now I guess it's real, and...

He's more attached to his sperm
than I thought.

What is that about?

I mean, it's a big decision.

But I just—
I'm so frustrated.

Like, text me back.

Call me when you say
you're gonna call me.

Like, this is my life too.

I feel like we are those girls.

Waiting by the phone.

Oh, my God.

"Sorry, guys.

I love you, but I think
this is too much for me."

So that's a no to it all,
I take it?

Fuck this.

Dang, man.
Fuck all of it.

I'm sorry.

That this is so hard.

I don't know.

Obviously I was just assuming,

and, you know,
going off what he said,

that "Of course
I want to be a part of it.

"Of course you can count on me.

I want to be the donor."

And now all of a sudden
just like that.

Like, why lead me on?

Like, it's just—
it's frustrating, you know?

We had a plan.

Okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

It's not fair.

It's okay. Come here.

Come here. It's okay.

It's okay.
Come here.

Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com