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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,490 --> 00:00:12,060 - I HAVE DECIDED TO GO ABROAD, 2 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,460 FOR AN INDETERMINATE AMOUNT OF TIME. 3 00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,600 I WANT TO MAKE A LITERARY PILGRIMAGE. 4 00:00:15,630 --> 00:00:17,130 - WATCHING HER GO, I DON'T KNOW, 5 00:00:17,170 --> 00:00:19,240 IT KIND OF FEELS LIKE THE END OF SOMETHING. 6 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:20,570 IT MAKES YOU WONDER IF SHE WAS 7 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,140 THE ONLY THING THAT WAS STILL KEEPING US TOGETHER. 8 00:00:24,170 --> 00:00:25,240 - WE'RE GETTIN' MARRIED. 9 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:26,540 - AHH! - THE RUNKLES! 10 00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:29,750 - I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU WIFE AND EARLY MAN. 11 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:30,680 - WHAT THE FUCK? 12 00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:32,480 DUDE, I TOLD YOU I NEVER WANNA SEE HIS ASS 13 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:33,850 ON ONE OF MY SETS EVER AGAIN. 14 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,350 - LISTEN, THIS IS A PRODUCER-DRIVEN MEDIUM, 15 00:00:36,390 --> 00:00:37,750 YOU INEFFECTUAL LITTLE SHIT BIRD. 16 00:00:37,790 --> 00:00:39,420 - SHUT THE FUCK UP, BOTH OF YOU. 17 00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:40,790 - I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT 18 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:42,560 WHAT I WANT FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. 19 00:00:42,590 --> 00:00:44,830 AND I REALIZED THAT I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. 20 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:47,530 I WANNA SEE YOU SMILE AND KNOW YOU MEAN IT. 21 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:48,830 - HANK HAS TO GO. 22 00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:50,470 HE'S GOTTA SEE A HORSE ABOUT A GIRL. 23 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,400 - SO THIS IS ABOUT FOLLOWING YOUR BLISS? 24 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,600 IS THIS ABOUT LOVE? 25 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:55,540 - IT IS. 26 00:00:55,570 --> 00:00:58,680 - THEN YOU MUST GO. 27 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,650 - GO AND GET HER, PAL. 28 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:16,890 [Pete Townshend's Let My Love Open the Door] 29 00:01:16,930 --> 00:01:18,530 [knock at door] 30 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,760 - * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 31 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,630 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 32 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:26,470 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 33 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,810 * TO YOUR HEART 34 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:33,240 * 35 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,450 - KAREN, HELLO. 36 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,880 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 37 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,690 I THOUGHT YOU RAN OFF WITH THE ROCK AND ROLL CIRCUS. 38 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,420 - I DID. 39 00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:47,460 BUT I CAME BACK FOR YOU. 40 00:01:47,490 --> 00:01:49,790 - * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 41 00:01:49,830 --> 00:01:52,800 * LET ME LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 42 00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:55,470 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 43 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,400 * TO YOUR HEART 44 00:01:57,430 --> 00:02:01,610 * 45 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,610 * WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS ALL OVER * 46 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,880 * WHEN EVERYBODY SEEMS UNKIND * 47 00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:09,910 * I'LL GIVE YOU A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER * 48 00:02:09,950 --> 00:02:12,850 * TAKE ALL THE WORRY OUT OF YOUR MIND * 49 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,790 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 50 00:02:15,820 --> 00:02:18,790 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 51 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:21,390 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 52 00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:24,360 * TO YOUR HEART 53 00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:25,600 * TO YOUR HEART 54 00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:28,270 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 55 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,500 * WHEN TRAGEDY BEFALLS YOU 56 00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:33,600 * DON'T LET IT DRAG YOU DOWN * 57 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,240 * LOVE CAN CURE YOUR PROBLEM * 58 00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:38,910 * YOU'RE SO LUCKY I'M AROUND * 59 00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:42,510 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR * 60 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:45,420 - KAREN. 61 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:48,720 HELLO. 62 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,420 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 63 00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:53,520 I-I THOUGHT YOU RAN OFF WITH A ROCK AND ROLL CIRCUS. 64 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:58,260 - I DID, BUT I CAME BACK FOR YOU. 65 00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,900 - OH. 66 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:04,430 - WELL, I-I KNOW IT'S OVERWHELMING, 67 00:03:04,470 --> 00:03:05,740 DISORIENTING EVEN. 68 00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:07,500 BUT I COULDN'T BE OUT THERE KNOWING THAT 69 00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:11,440 YOU WERE BACK HERE ALONE, BY YOURSELF. 70 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,910 GETTING OLDER, BY THE WAY. 71 00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:13,980 [shushes] 72 00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:15,310 KAREN, I LOVE YOU. 73 00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:16,410 I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU, 74 00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:17,580 AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. 75 00:03:17,610 --> 00:03:18,720 BUT WE NEED TO RESOLVE THIS SHIT, 76 00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:20,020 ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. 77 00:03:20,050 --> 00:03:21,890 WOULDN'T YOU AGREE? - SURE, SURE, BUT-- 78 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:22,850 - NO, NO BUTS. 79 00:03:22,890 --> 00:03:24,720 WE GOTTA ROLL UP OUR SLEEVES 80 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:25,990 AND DO THE WORK RIGHT NOW. 81 00:03:26,020 --> 00:03:28,330 I-I SAY WE STAY HERE UNTIL WE FIGURE IT OUT, 82 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,330 OR UNTIL WE BOTH GET SO FUCKIN' HORNY WE CAN'T STAND IT. 83 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,930 EITHER WAY, IT'S A WIN-WIN FOR BOTH OF US. 84 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:34,760 - UH, HELLO. 85 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,930 - DUDE, PLEASE, NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT. 86 00:03:36,970 --> 00:03:38,900 WE ARE NOT SHARING OUR TABLE WITH YOU. 87 00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:40,840 WHAT ARE YOU, EUROPEAN OR SOMETHING? 88 00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:42,010 - I'M SORRY, SHOULD-- - OH, NO. 89 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,440 I'M REALLY SORRY. THIS--THIS IS-- 90 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:47,040 - THIS IS-- WHAT IS THIS? 91 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,750 EXPLAIN YOURSELF, WOMAN. 92 00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:50,280 - HANK, THIS IS CHRIS. 93 00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,780 HE'S IN MY YOGA CLASS. - OH, JESUS. 94 00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:54,020 - AND THIS IS HANK. HE'S-- 95 00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:56,590 - HE IS? HE IS? 96 00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:58,720 - FROM MY LIFE. 97 00:03:58,760 --> 00:03:59,890 - YOGA CLASS? 98 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,660 THAT FUCKIN' OLD CHESTNUT? 99 00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:03,030 KAREN, PLEASE, COME ON. 100 00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:05,500 - UM, I-I'M SORRY. - YOU SHOULD BE. 101 00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:06,560 HEY, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE? 102 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,060 BIKRAM? 103 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,900 [bad Indian accent] WHO HAS TIME TO MAKE TIME DURING BIKRAM? 104 00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:11,370 IT'S SO FUCKIN' HOT AND FARTY IN THERE. 105 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:12,800 YOU EVER LET ONE LOOSE IN THERE, COWBOY? 106 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,370 I'M SURE YOU HAVE. 107 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,570 IT'S HARD NOT TO LET A LITTLE PRAIRIE DOG 108 00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:16,970 RUN IN THROUGH THERE, HUH? 109 00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:21,650 - UH, WHY DON'T WE DO THIS ANOTHER TIME? 110 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:22,810 - NOW THERE'S AN IDEA. 111 00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:24,450 - I'M SORRY. - DON'T BE. 112 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:25,520 - YEAH, DON'T BE. 113 00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,550 - UM, IT'S TOTALLY COOL. 114 00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:28,990 I KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU. 115 00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:31,790 - STALKER. 116 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:32,920 - REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU, HANK. 117 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,920 - PLEASURE WAS ALL MINE, YOGA MAN, 118 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,530 ALL FUCKIN' MINE, ALL DAY LONG. 119 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:38,600 BYE-BYE NOW. 120 00:04:38,630 --> 00:04:39,660 NAMASTE AWAY, BUDDY BOY. 121 00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:41,530 - THANKS. - LOOK. 122 00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:43,070 THIS IS WHAT MAKES US FANTASTIC. 123 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,670 WE'RE LAUGHING ABOUT THAT CREEPER. 124 00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:45,940 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 125 00:04:45,970 --> 00:04:48,410 HE'S TOTALLY HOT. - WHAT? 126 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:49,770 WEST SIDE YOGA GUY? 127 00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:51,540 THAT IS THE OLDEST SCHTICK IN THE BOOK, KAREN. 128 00:04:51,580 --> 00:04:52,710 YOU'RE NOT FALLING FOR THAT. 129 00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:56,810 HIS CUM PROBABLY TASTES LIKE HUMMUS. 130 00:04:56,850 --> 00:04:58,550 CUMMUS. - HANK-- 131 00:04:58,580 --> 00:04:59,620 - [chuckles] 132 00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:01,020 - OH, MY GOD. 133 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:04,090 - THIS IS NOT GOING AS I HAD HOPED. 134 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,090 [upbeat music] 135 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:15,060 * 136 00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:49,870 [rock music] 137 00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,140 - HANKY PANKY. - AHH. 138 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,640 - I THOUGHT I WOULD FIND YOU HERE. 139 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:58,480 ONE PEAR COSMO-TINI, PLEASE, MY GOOD MAN. 140 00:05:58,510 --> 00:05:59,780 - HE'S NOT KIDDING. 141 00:05:59,810 --> 00:06:03,980 AND HE'S NOT GAY ANYMORE, ENTIRELY. 142 00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:06,780 - NO. 143 00:06:06,820 --> 00:06:08,720 - I CAME BACK FOR HER, CHARLIE. 144 00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:10,790 - YEP, ATTICUS TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT. 145 00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,860 - I RIPPED MY HEART OUT AND I THREW IT AT HER FEET. 146 00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:14,590 AND WHAT DID SHE GIVE ME IN RETURN? 147 00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,690 A SHIT SANDWICH TO CHEW ON. 148 00:06:16,730 --> 00:06:17,960 BUT ENOUGH OF MY HARROWING DESPAIR. 149 00:06:17,990 --> 00:06:19,560 TELL ME ABOUT YOUR HONEYMOON. 150 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,770 DID YOU CRAZY KIDS FUCK EACH OTHER'S FACES OFF? 151 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,130 - NEVER MIND ALL THAT. I GOT NEWS. 152 00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:25,770 - DON'T TELL ME-- ANOTHER GNARLY SKIN TAG 153 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,140 HAS SPROUTED UP ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT 154 00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:30,010 HIDEOUS LITTLE POUCH YOU LIKE TO CALL A SCROTUM? 155 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,840 - THAT, AND ATTICUS JUST FIRED ME. 156 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,180 - [chuckles] BUMMER. 157 00:06:35,210 --> 00:06:37,510 - BUT NOT BEFORE HE FIRED YOU TOO. 158 00:06:37,550 --> 00:06:38,880 - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 159 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,680 THAT CUNTY LITTLE FUCKIN' GINGER LOVES ME. 160 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:41,920 - MM-HMM. 161 00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:43,550 - HE WAS INCREDIBLY MOVED BY MY QUEST. 162 00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:44,790 - YES, HE WAS. YES, HE WAS. 163 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:46,960 AND THEN HE GOT INCREDIBLY BORED. 164 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,160 AND YOUR ABSENCE MADE HIM GROW 165 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,790 A HELL OF A LOT FONDER OF AARON SORKIN, 166 00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:51,530 WHO SUDDENLY BECAME INCREDIBLY AVAILABLE. 167 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:52,660 - AARON SORKIN. 168 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,100 - BRINGING YOUR BROADWAY CAREER 169 00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:56,670 TO A SUDDEN SCREECHING HALT. 170 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:58,640 - [grunts] 171 00:06:58,670 --> 00:07:00,940 OKAY, WELL, WHAT NOW? 172 00:07:00,970 --> 00:07:04,140 I'M WAITIN'. GO ON. SAY IT. 173 00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:05,810 COME ON, JUST SAY IT ALREADY. - SAY WHAT? 174 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:06,980 - SAY IT. - OH, THAT. 175 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,580 - YEAH. - NO, I WON'T SAY THAT. 176 00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:09,850 - COME ON. MAKE ME HAPPY. 177 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,780 - IT WOULD BE IRRESPONSIBLE OF ME, HANK. 178 00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:13,120 - [grunts] 179 00:07:13,150 --> 00:07:17,250 - I DO NOT HAVE AN OFFER FOR YOU. 180 00:07:17,290 --> 00:07:19,960 OH, THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE, ACTUALLY. 181 00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:21,630 YEAH, SOME KID KEEPS EMAILING ME 182 00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:22,890 ABOUT WANTING TO INTERVIEW YOU 183 00:07:22,930 --> 00:07:24,090 FOR HIS COLLEGE NEWSPAPER OR SOME SHIT. 184 00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:25,930 - OH, I NEED A FUCKIN' JOB, CHARLIE. 185 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,230 - YEAH, SO DO I, HANK. - I NEED TO PRESENT MYSELF 186 00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:29,830 TO KAREN AS AN ADULT MALE WITH A JOB, 187 00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:31,940 A HUNTER AND A GATHERER, A PROVIDER. 188 00:07:31,970 --> 00:07:34,140 - AW, YOU'RE SWEET. 189 00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:35,840 AND TOTALLY FUCKIN' NAIVE. 190 00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:40,710 THERE ARE NO JOBS, HANK, NOT ANYMORE. 191 00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:41,980 WHY, YOU DON'T ASK? 192 00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:44,510 BECAUSE YOU HAVE PISSED ON AND PISSED OFF 193 00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:47,250 ANYONE AND EVERYONE WHO'S EVER GIVEN YOU ONE. 194 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,050 YOU HAVE TAKEN A SHIT ON ALL OF IT, HANK-- 195 00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:52,060 BOOKS, MOVIES, THEATER-- 196 00:07:52,090 --> 00:07:54,590 - WELL, WHAT ABOUT TELEVISION? - WHAT ABOUT IT? 197 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,890 - I COULD SHIT ON THAT. 198 00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:58,160 - YOU DON'T EVEN WATCH TELEVISION. 199 00:07:58,190 --> 00:08:00,900 - DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T WRITE IT. 200 00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:02,630 - WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, HANK? 201 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:05,870 - IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT, BABY BOY. 202 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,570 TONIGHT WE DRINK. 203 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,570 TOMORROW YOU START MAKING SOME PHONE CALLS. 204 00:08:09,610 --> 00:08:11,640 AN OPPORTUNITY WILL PRESENT ITSELF. 205 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,180 IF NOT, WE CAN ALWAYS STUFF OUR POCKETS 206 00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:16,010 FULL WITH ROCKS AND WALK HAND-IN-HAND 207 00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:17,880 INTO THE PACIFIC. 208 00:08:17,910 --> 00:08:19,620 - THAT SOUNDS ROMANTIC. 209 00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:21,080 - SPEAKING OF ROMANCE, 210 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,620 I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR HONEYMOON. 211 00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:27,660 DID YOU GIVE YOUR AGING BRIDE A KIDNEY INFECTION? 212 00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:29,290 NO, REALLY? 213 00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:32,000 OKAY. TALK TO ME, BUDDY BOY. 214 00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,260 TELL ME ALL YOUR WOES. 215 00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:36,970 DR. HANXTABLE IS MOST DEFINITELY IN. 216 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,900 - WHERE'S MY BRIDE? 217 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:40,970 - MARCY RUNKLE! 218 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,010 - * MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE 219 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,110 - COKEY SMURF. 220 00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:46,340 - ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? 221 00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:47,840 - [growls] 222 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,780 - THIS IS JUST WHAT WE NEED, CHARLIE, 223 00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:51,680 A BAD CASE OF WHISKEY DICK. 224 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,650 - OH, NO WHISKEY. - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MARCE. 225 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:54,850 - I DIDN'T DRINK ANY WHISKEY. - DUDE'S BEEN SLAMMING 226 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,190 PEAR COSMO-TINIS ALL NIGHT LONG. 227 00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:57,220 - THAT'S WHAT I HAD. - HE PROBABLY GREW 228 00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,660 A BIG LIPPY PUSS DOWN THERE. 229 00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:00,020 - I'M GONNA FUCK YOU SO HARD, MARCY. 230 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:02,030 - MM-HMM. - I'M GONNA FUCK YOU. 231 00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,630 - YEAH, LET'S NOT WRITE ANY CHECKS 232 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,930 YOUR LIMP BISCUIT CAN'T CASH, OKAY? 233 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,660 - HEY, HEY. - OH. 234 00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:08,900 - BE GENTLE WITH THE BOY. 235 00:09:08,930 --> 00:09:10,930 HE'S DELICATE RIGHT NOW. - WHAT ABOUT ME? 236 00:09:10,970 --> 00:09:13,140 I IMPULSE REMARRIED A DEPRAVED LUNATIC 237 00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:14,940 WHO CAN'T EVEN GET IT UP FOR ME. 238 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:16,810 - AAH. 239 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,140 I KNOW. IT'S NOT GOOD. 240 00:09:18,170 --> 00:09:19,940 I'M SORRY, MARCY, YOU DESERVE BETTER. 241 00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:21,310 - YEAH, I DO. I DO. - HEY, YOU GUYS. 242 00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,950 BRING IT IN. TAKE A KNEE. 243 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,780 - OKAY. 244 00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:28,820 - YOU GUYS GOTTA GET THIS SHIT IN PERSPECTIVE, OKAY? 245 00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:30,050 - [groans] 246 00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:31,150 - I CAME BACK FOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE 247 00:09:31,190 --> 00:09:32,320 AND SHE REJECTED ME, 248 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,990 WHICH BUMS ME OUT ON MANY LEVELS. 249 00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:36,030 NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH IS THAT YOU FUCKTARDS 250 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,230 GOT YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE WE DID. 251 00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:41,030 NO YOU, YOU'RE LETTING YOUR PASTY WHITE CONE HEAD 252 00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:42,830 GET IN THE WAY OF THE PRIME DIRECTIVE. 253 00:09:42,870 --> 00:09:44,730 YOURS IS NOT TO REASON WHY. 254 00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:47,100 YOURS IS TO SEEK AND DESTROY HER SHIMMERING SNATCH. 255 00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:49,170 DON'T BE FUCKIN' WITH HER ELF-ESTEEM. 256 00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:51,910 - AW, THANKS, HANKY. 257 00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:53,710 - AND SHE'S GOT THE MAGIC VAGINA. 258 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:54,840 YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT. 259 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,110 - I DO WANT IT. 260 00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:58,250 I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR FACE OFF, MARCY. 261 00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,920 - ALL RIGHT. - FUCK YOUR FACE. 262 00:09:59,950 --> 00:10:01,690 - YOU'RE GONNA FUCKIN' BE SEEING FUCKIN' STARS. 263 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,250 - ONE STEP AT A TIME. - I'M GONNA FUCK YOU. 264 00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:05,020 - LET'S SEE IF WE CAN GET SOME BLOOD FLOWIN' 265 00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:07,860 TO THAT THIN, BENT WANG OF YOURS... 266 00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:09,390 - [growls] - THIS WEEK. 267 00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:12,000 - WAIT--HANK, STAY. 268 00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:13,860 YOU'RE NOT COMING. 269 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:16,430 [pounding on door] - [groans] 270 00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:19,200 WHAAAT... 271 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,300 CAN I DO FOR YOU? 272 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:23,110 - SETTLE DOWN, DUDE. ARE YOU CHARLIE RUNKLE? 273 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:24,940 - WHO'S ASKIN'? 274 00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:27,140 - MY NAME'S LEVON. I'VE BEEN EMAILING YOU ABOUT HANK MOODY. 275 00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:28,950 I WANT TO INTERVIEW HIM. 276 00:10:28,980 --> 00:10:30,150 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 277 00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,120 - I SENT YOU, LIKE, 20 EMAILS. 278 00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:35,150 - WH--WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHO--WHO TOLD YOU WHERE I LIVE? 279 00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:37,420 - THE INTERNET TOLD ME. YOU GOT A PRETTY RETARDED NAME. 280 00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:38,890 DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CHARLIE RUNKLES 281 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,260 THERE AREN'T IN LOS ANGELES? 282 00:10:40,290 --> 00:10:42,890 - YOU GOT THE WRONG RUNKLE, KID. - YOU'RE LYING. 283 00:10:42,930 --> 00:10:45,390 [phone beeps] THAT'S YOU. 284 00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:47,860 YOU'RE THE MASTURBATING AGENT. 285 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:50,970 - LOOK, WHATEVER. IF HANK'S INTO IT, I'LL BE IN TOUCH. 286 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,140 - NO, COME ON, MAN, CAN I MEET HIM? 287 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:55,140 - NO! NO, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 288 00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:56,310 - WHAT'S THE RACKET? 289 00:10:56,340 --> 00:10:58,240 HOW THE FUCK A BROTHER SUPPOSED TO GET 290 00:10:58,270 --> 00:10:59,810 SOME BEAUTY SLEEP AROUND HERE? - THAT'S HIM. 291 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,710 Y-YOU'RE HIM. - WHO? 292 00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:02,550 - YOU'RE HANK MOODY. 293 00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:05,250 - HANK MOODY I MUST BE. WHO YOU BE? 294 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,880 - THIS WOULD BE LEVON. 295 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,450 HE'S THE KID I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT. 296 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,420 HE WANTS TO INTERVIEW YOU FOR HIS COLLEGE NEWSPAPER. 297 00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:12,120 - WHAT THE FUCK, RUNKS? I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO SET THAT UP. 298 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,220 - YOU LYING, FUCKING MASTURBATING ASSHOLE. 299 00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:15,990 YOU DID GET MY EMAILS. 300 00:11:16,030 --> 00:11:18,930 - I LIKE THIS KID. LEVON, HUH? THAT'S PRETTY GROOVY. 301 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,160 YOUR PARENTS BIG ELTON JOHN FANS? 302 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,170 - MY MOTHER. - MUST HAVE GOOD TASTE. 303 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,270 - THAT'S DEBATABLE. [phone rings] 304 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,840 - HEY, LOOK, ARE YOU OKAY WITH WHATEVER THIS IS? 305 00:11:27,870 --> 00:11:29,440 - YEAH, IT'S FINE. 306 00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:31,270 COME ON IN. 307 00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,810 LEVON, YOU GOT 15 MINUTES. 308 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:34,480 I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE BEFORE I WAKE UP. 309 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:35,950 NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT? 310 00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:37,180 - OKAY, UH, RIGHT. 311 00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:39,450 SO, UH, WHERE WERE YOU BORN? 312 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,050 - OH, YOU WANT TO GO WAY BACK. 313 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,790 I WAS BORN AND BRED IN THE BRONX, 314 00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:44,090 BUT MY PARENTS MOVED TO RAISE ME 315 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,490 LIKE VEAL ON THE ISLAND OF LONG, 316 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,090 WHICH ULTIMATELY INSPIRED ME TO ESCAPE 317 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,390 BACK TO THE BIG, BAD WILDS OF THE CITY 318 00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:52,360 AS SOON AS I WAS VAGUELY ABLE. 319 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,460 - HOW MANY GIRLFRIENDS HAVE YOU HAD? 320 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:55,830 - UH, A FEW? 321 00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:59,200 - UH, HOW MANY SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIPS? 322 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,840 - WHAT, YOU WRITING MY OBITUARY? 323 00:12:01,870 --> 00:12:04,310 - DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A MISOGYNIST? 324 00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:08,240 - NOT REALLY. I MEAN, I'M A BIG FAN OF "WOMANINITY". 325 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:12,480 I LIKE IT ALL-- BIG, FAT, TALL, SHORT, SMALL, 326 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,250 WHITE, BLACK, YELLOW, PURPLE-- BIG FAN OF LADY-NESS. 327 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,990 I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT MY WRITING. 328 00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:20,160 - I'VE READ YOUR BOOKS. - AND? 329 00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:22,190 - DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN? 330 00:12:22,230 --> 00:12:23,460 - YEAH, ONE, A DAUGHTER. 331 00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:27,330 - DOES SHE THINK THAT YOU ARE A GOOD FATHER? 332 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,900 - I'M SURE SHE HAS ISSUES WITH THE OLD MAN. 333 00:12:28,930 --> 00:12:31,940 DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE A GOOD INTERVIEWER? 334 00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:33,900 - HOW MANY HEARTS HAVE YOU BROKEN IN YOUR LIFE? 335 00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:36,240 - HEY, KID, DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME? 336 00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:38,270 DID I FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING? 337 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:40,410 - HANK! HANK, YOU WERE RIGHT! 338 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,880 A NEW DAY HAS DAWNED, 339 00:12:41,910 --> 00:12:43,550 AND THE OPPORTUNITY HAS PRESENTED ITSELF. 340 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,350 COME ON, CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES. WE GOT OURSELVES A MEETING. 341 00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:47,280 - WHERE? WHERE? - I'LL TELL YOU ON THE WAY. 342 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,850 COME ON, LET'S GO. YOU, KID, OUTTA HERE. 343 00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:49,720 - WAIT-- - JUST-- 344 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,420 - CAN I-- CAN I COME WITH YOU GUYS? 345 00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:52,860 IT MIGHT BE GOOD FOR THE ARTICLE. 346 00:12:52,890 --> 00:12:54,890 - YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'LL "RE-SHEDULE." 347 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,530 - REALLY GREAT START TODAY! 348 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,260 BYE. 349 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,900 - [laughs] 350 00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:03,170 [stage bell rings] 351 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,430 - JUST DON'T COME OFF AS ONE OF THOSE 352 00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:08,240 SNOTTY, PRETENTIOUS FUCKS WHO LOOKS DOWN ON TELEVISION. 353 00:13:08,270 --> 00:13:11,440 - ME? NEVER. - HOW IS IT? 354 00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:13,610 - TO BE HONEST, IT'S LIKE A COLONOSCOPY OF THE MIND. 355 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,880 - HANK. 356 00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:17,480 - BUT IF HE ASKS, I WILL TELL HIM IT'S "TOTES FUCKIN' BRILL." 357 00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,520 I WILL BE MY ABSOLUTE BEST SELF IN THERE. 358 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:22,590 - GOOD BOY. IT'S WEIRD SEEING YOU LIKE THIS. 359 00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,850 ALL DRIVEN AND SHIT. - [laughs] 360 00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:31,590 - FUNNY HOW THESE THINGS COME FULL CIRCLE, HUH? 361 00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:34,500 - WHEN PEOPLE ARE TRULY CONNECTED 362 00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:38,200 THEY CAN NEVER TRULY ESCAPE EACH OTHER. 363 00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:40,070 SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOW'S MARCY? 364 00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,310 - GOOD. GREAT. 365 00:13:42,340 --> 00:13:44,540 YEAH. JUST BACK FROM THE HONEYMOON, ACTUALLY. 366 00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:45,270 - AH. 367 00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:48,110 GOSH, RUNKLE, YOU REALLY KNOW 368 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:49,610 HOW TO KICK A GUY WHEN HE'S DOWN. 369 00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:53,620 I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT WOMAN IS LIKE ON A HONEYMOON. 370 00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:57,950 OUR MAGNIFICENT SEX ORGANS WERE FUSED TEN DAYS STRAIGHT. 371 00:13:57,990 --> 00:14:00,520 I COULDN'T STAND NOT BEING INSIDE OF HER. 372 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,290 I WALKED AROUND THE HOTEL ROOM AND--[snaps]--BOOM. 373 00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:04,290 RIGHT THERE ON MY JOCK. 374 00:14:04,330 --> 00:14:06,660 - STEADY, RUNKS. 375 00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:09,400 KID, NICE TO SEE YOU. HOW YOU DOING? 376 00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,270 - OH, I'M GREAT, MOODY. 377 00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:14,200 LAST WE MET, I WAS DIRECTING SANTA MONICA COP THE MOVIE, 378 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,640 NOW I'M PERIPHERALLY INVOLVED 379 00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:18,610 WITH SANTA MONICA COP THE TV SHOW. 380 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,510 SO THINGS ARE GOING REALLY WELL FOR ME. THANKS FOR ASKING. 381 00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:22,210 - SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? WHERE'D YOU GO WRONG? 382 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,510 - I RECALL THINGS GOING TO SHIT 383 00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:26,450 SOMEWHERE AROUND THE TIME YOU SHOWED UP. 384 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,250 - OH, PSHAW. THE VERY IDEA. 385 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,620 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, 386 00:14:29,650 --> 00:14:32,290 LET US NOT REHASH ANCIENT HISTORY, RIGHT? 387 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,120 OKAY, SAM WENT OFF THE RAILS, 388 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,360 THEY SHUT THE PICTURE DOWN, 389 00:14:37,390 --> 00:14:39,030 MY BELOVED WIFE DIVORCED ME. 390 00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:42,030 BUT DID I WALLOW? 391 00:14:42,070 --> 00:14:44,400 WELL, YEAH. SURE. 392 00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:47,300 BUT THEN I PICKED MYSELF THE FUCK UP, 393 00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:49,670 I DUSTED MYSELF OFF, 394 00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:53,140 AND I SOLD THAT MESSY, LATE-TERM ABORTION AS A TV PILOT. 395 00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,540 BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT A PRODUCER DOES. 396 00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,980 HE TAKES A SUDDEN BURST OF RAIN 397 00:14:57,010 --> 00:14:59,280 AND TURNS IT INTO A GOLDEN SHOWER. 398 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,920 [door opens] 399 00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:05,320 - QUIET. 400 00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:06,520 WRITERS START TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOU 401 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:07,790 THE SECOND YOU LEAVE THE ROOM. 402 00:15:07,820 --> 00:15:11,960 I WANT TO KNOW WHOSE OPTION NOT TO PICK UP WHEN THE TIME COMES. 403 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,030 ROSENBERG. 404 00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:18,500 YOU FUCKIN' DICK. 405 00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:22,610 YOU'LL GET YOURS. HEH! VERY NICE. 406 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:27,340 TRY PAYING FOR PRIVATE SCHOOL NEXT YEAR WITH NO JOB. 407 00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:29,450 YOU MUST BE HANK. 408 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,180 - HENRY JAMES MOODY THE FIRST. 409 00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:33,420 - RICK RATH. CALL ME RATH. 410 00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:36,050 WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU HERE? - I'M HIS AGENT. 411 00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:38,750 - HE LIKES TO MAKE SURE I DON'T USE MY FECES AS A CRAYON. 412 00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:41,560 - TAKE A WALK. YOU GUYS TOO. GET OUT. 413 00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:44,560 LEAVE US ALONE. TALENT ONLY. 414 00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:45,730 - REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU. 415 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,730 GUY'S A MONSTER. - LEAVE US ALONE. 416 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:52,470 - JUST A FUCKING MONSTER. - TALENT ONLY. 417 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,340 I'M NOT GONNA HIRE YOU, HANK. 418 00:15:55,370 --> 00:15:57,140 - REALLY? 419 00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:58,740 - YEAH. 420 00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:00,480 - YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO HEAR WHAT I THINK ABOUT THE SCRIPT? 421 00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:02,310 I MEAN, I HAD A WHOLE SPEECH PREPARED AND EVERYTHING, 422 00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:04,410 FOLLOWED BY A POWERPOINT PRESENTATION 423 00:16:04,450 --> 00:16:07,080 AND A BRIEF BUT VERY MOVING PUPPET SHOW. 424 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,450 - STU HAD ASKED ME TO SIT DOWN WITH YOU, 425 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,320 I-I ADMIT I WAS INTRIGUED, 426 00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:14,290 BUT THEN I DID MY DUE DILIGENCE. 427 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,590 AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON I REACHED OUT TO 428 00:16:16,630 --> 00:16:18,630 SAID YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE, FUCKING NIGHTMARE. 429 00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:21,760 SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, CASE CLOSED. 430 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,230 I MEAN, SORRY, BUT THE LAST THING I NEED AROUND HERE 431 00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:24,770 IS SOME SNOTTY, PRETENTIOUS FUCK 432 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,240 WHO'S GONNA LOOK DOWN ON TELEVISION. 433 00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:28,140 - YEAH, BUT IF I'M NOT WRONG, 434 00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:30,140 YOU DO NEED A WRITER WHO CAN ACTUALLY WRITE, RIGHT? 435 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:32,480 - WELL, YEAH, TALENT'S ALWAYS A PLUS, 436 00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:35,080 BUT LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR SHENANIGANS, HANK. 437 00:16:35,110 --> 00:16:37,510 I'M--I'M TOO OLD TO BE BABYSITTING 438 00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:38,810 TODDLERS WITH TOXIC PERSONALITIES. 439 00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:42,650 - OKAY, JUST HANG ON AND HEAR ME OUT, OKAY? 440 00:16:42,690 --> 00:16:44,250 IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, 441 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:46,490 YOU GOT A ROOM FULL OF HACKS AND WANNABES IN THERE. 442 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,790 THE HACKS GIVE YOU A SAFE, FEAR-DRIVEN MEDIOCRITY 443 00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:51,130 BECAUSE THEY JUST WANT TO KEEP THEIR POOLS HEATED, 444 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,330 AND THE WANNABES WANNA BE 445 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,730 BECAUSE THE LIFESTYLE LOOKS SO SWELL, 446 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,660 BUT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT AND IT SHOWS. 447 00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:58,700 - THAT'S AN INCREDIBLY CYNICAL GENERALIZATION, HANK. 448 00:16:58,730 --> 00:17:00,700 - I AM THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. 449 00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:03,610 I HAVE THE--THE SEXY, ENERGETIC BRAIN OF A NEWBIE 450 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,410 AND THE BODY OF A DRUNKEN, OLD HACK. 451 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,140 - AND YOU SHIT THE BED ALL OVER THIS TOWN. 452 00:17:07,180 --> 00:17:10,780 SO WHY WOULD THIS GIG BE ANY DIFFERENT? 453 00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,680 - FAIR ENOUGH. THAT'S A GOOD POINT. 454 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,320 AND I HAVE SQUANDERED A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES, IT'S TRUE. 455 00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:16,550 - YEAH. 456 00:17:16,590 --> 00:17:17,720 - I COULD GIVE YOU A BUNCH OF EXCUSES. 457 00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,420 I COULD BLAME IT ON MY MASTURBATING AGENT 458 00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:21,160 OR I COULD CHALK IT UP 459 00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:23,160 TO FEAR AND SELF-LOATHING IN LOS ANGELES, 460 00:17:23,190 --> 00:17:24,660 BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT... 461 00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:27,830 I'M TRYING TO GROW THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE. 462 00:17:27,860 --> 00:17:30,870 YOU KNOW, I'M ON A QUEST TO RECLAIM THE BEST PARTS OF MYSELF 463 00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:32,840 BEFORE IT'S TOO FUCKIN' LATE. 464 00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:35,100 AND IT ALL STARTS WITH ME GETTING A JOB. 465 00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:37,170 - WELL... 466 00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:38,570 THAT'S VERY INSPIRING, 467 00:17:38,610 --> 00:17:40,540 BUT ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN ACTUALLY HANDLE THE JOB? 468 00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:42,180 - YEAH. - YEAH? 469 00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:43,650 - MM-HMM. - CAN YOU SHOW UP ON TIME? 470 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,550 - YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. 471 00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:48,220 - PLAY NICE WITH OTHERS? 472 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,590 - MAY--MAYBE. YEAH. 473 00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:51,590 - CAN YOU TAKE A NOTE WITHOUT GETTING DEFENSIVE? 474 00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:53,560 - POSSIBLY. 475 00:17:53,590 --> 00:17:55,890 - CAN YOU WORK WITH ACTORS WITHOUT FUCKING THEM 476 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,190 OR PUNCHING THEM? - OH, SO YOU HAVE READ MY WORK. 477 00:17:58,230 --> 00:18:00,430 - YEAH, I'VE READ YOUR WORK. I LIKE YOUR WORK. 478 00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:02,730 IT ACTUALLY REMINDS ME OF SOME OF THE SHIT I USED TO WRITE. 479 00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:05,470 ONCE UPON A TIME, BACK IN NEW YORK. 480 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:09,910 BEFORE ALL OF THIS SHIT SWALLOWED ME WHOLE. 481 00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:12,880 HEY, MAN... 482 00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:15,480 I'M A SUCKER FOR A GOOD REDEMPTION STORY, 483 00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:18,310 BUT I AM SUSPICIOUS OF YOUR MOTIVES. 484 00:18:18,350 --> 00:18:21,880 WHAT IS THIS REALLY ABOUT? 485 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,890 - I GUESS YOU COULD SAY IT'S ABOUT A GIRL. 486 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,250 [knock on door] 487 00:18:25,290 --> 00:18:26,590 - [clears throat] 488 00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:28,620 THE WRITER'S ASSISTANT JUST I.M.ed ME. 489 00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:30,730 ROSENBERG'S DOING HIS IMPRESSION OF YOU AGAIN. 490 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,800 THINK HE'S TRYING TO STAGE A COUP. 491 00:18:32,830 --> 00:18:34,230 - MOTHERFUCKER. 492 00:18:34,260 --> 00:18:35,730 - HEY, I'D GIVE THE FUCKER A TITTIE TWISTER, 493 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,370 BUT THAT'S JUST ME. THANK YOU FOR SEEING ME. 494 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,340 - NO, HEY. SIT. YOU STAY. 495 00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:41,900 I'M NOT GUARANTEEING ANYTHING, 496 00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:44,910 BUT I MIGHT HAVE AN OPEN SEAT IN ABOUT 45 SECONDS. 497 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:48,680 I GOT EYES AND EARS ALL OVER THIS FUCKING BUILDING, SCUMBAGS. 498 00:18:56,550 --> 00:18:58,590 - [sighs] OKAY. 499 00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:00,520 TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, I'M JUST-- 500 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,230 I'M FEELING A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS. 501 00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:04,290 - OKAY. 502 00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:06,630 CAN WE JUST NOT BE SUCH A FUCKING GIRL, CHARLIE? 503 00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:09,730 THIS IS JUST ME. IT'S JUST ME. 504 00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:12,700 YOUR SEXY, LITTLE FUCK NINJA. 505 00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:14,800 WHAT? - NOTHING. 506 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,310 IT'S JUST--THAT SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING STU WOULD CALL YOU. 507 00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,810 I'M SORRY. 508 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,780 - WELL, YEAH, IT PROBABLY IS. 509 00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:25,750 AMONG OTHER THINGS. AND I'M SORRY, BABY. 510 00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:28,750 I JUST GET CONFUSED. THINGS HAPPENED SO FAST BETWEEN US. 511 00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:31,650 - I KNOW, I KNOW. LOOK, MAYBE-- 512 00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:32,860 MAYBE WE JUST MADE A MISTAKE. 513 00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:35,690 - HEY, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP. 514 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,660 NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER. 515 00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:40,500 I AM NOT READY TO CALL THIS SHIT YET. 516 00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:44,330 OKAY? GIMME KISSY. 517 00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:45,730 GIMME MORE. - MM. 518 00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,370 - MM? - MM. 519 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:48,670 - MM? 520 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:51,810 - OH, HEY, NO, NOT YET. NOT SO FAST, OKAY? 521 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,580 JUST--IT'S, UM-- YOU KNOW, IT'S A LITTLE... 522 00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:56,850 HANDSY. 523 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,020 - [sighs] 524 00:20:00,050 --> 00:20:01,550 OKAY. 525 00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:02,990 OKAY, BABY. 526 00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:07,460 WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET MOMMY WORK HER MOMMY MAGIC? 527 00:20:07,490 --> 00:20:08,720 OKAY? 528 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,460 - OK--OKAY. [chuckles] 529 00:20:11,490 --> 00:20:14,460 YES, PLEASE, MOMMY. 530 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,900 - BUT DON'T--DON'T ACTUALLY CALL ME MOMMY, 531 00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:18,500 BECAUSE THAT'S FUCKING CREEPY, RIGHT? 532 00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:19,970 - RIGHT. YEAH, MY BAD. 533 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,610 - OKAY. - OKAY. 534 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,670 [exhales] 535 00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:25,970 - [moaning] 536 00:20:26,010 --> 00:20:26,980 - OH... 537 00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:28,580 - MM. 538 00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:32,880 MM... 539 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,920 - IT'S NOT WORKING, MARCY. 540 00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:35,950 IT'S JUST--IT--AUGH! 541 00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:37,320 [pounding] - OH, MY GOD! 542 00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:39,590 STOP IT! - I WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING! 543 00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:42,060 ANYTHING! - NO! BE NICE TO MY PENIS! 544 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:43,490 STOP! 545 00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:46,330 - IT'S JUST-- IT'S SO UPSETTING, MARCY. 546 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,560 - I KNOW, BABY. I GET IT. 547 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,000 OKAY? BUT JUST BREATHE. YOU GOTTA RELAX. 548 00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:53,800 JUST BREATHE. 549 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,640 - OKAY. LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME GO DOWN ON YOU. 550 00:20:55,670 --> 00:20:57,640 - WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO-- 551 00:20:57,670 --> 00:20:59,410 - YES, MARCY! YES, PLEASE! 552 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:00,910 I INSIST, OKAY? 553 00:21:00,940 --> 00:21:02,680 I'M GONNA GO DOWN ON YOU 554 00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:04,580 BECAUSE I NEED TO FEEL LIKE A MAN TONIGHT! 555 00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:07,920 - OKAY, SO MUNCHING MY BOX HAS BECOME ALL ABOUT YOU? 556 00:21:07,950 --> 00:21:10,750 YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING NARCISSIST, CHARLIE. 557 00:21:10,790 --> 00:21:13,390 - I NEED TO GO DOWN ON YOU, MARCY! 558 00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:20,700 - FINE. GO AHEAD. 559 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,670 - [groans] OKAY. 560 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:25,770 EH-EH-- 561 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,700 - [sobbing] 562 00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:32,440 - OH, MY GOD, CHARLIE. IF YOU'RE GONNA EAT ME OUT YOU CAN'T CRY. 563 00:21:37,550 --> 00:21:38,950 - OKAY. I'M SORRY. 564 00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:44,720 - 'KAY. 565 00:21:47,420 --> 00:21:48,890 [sighs] 566 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,060 YEAH, PAPI, GET IT. - IS THAT GOOD? 567 00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:55,630 - MM. MM. - [sobbing] 568 00:21:55,660 --> 00:21:58,630 [rock music] 569 00:21:58,670 --> 00:22:06,640 * 570 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,110 - PARDON, EXCUSEZ-MOI. 571 00:22:09,140 --> 00:22:11,880 I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK I AM EUROPEAN OR ANYTHING, 572 00:22:11,910 --> 00:22:15,650 YOU KNOW, BUT MAYBE I COULD SHARE YOUR TABLE? 573 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,890 - OH, I'M SORRY, MADEMOISELLE, 574 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,720 BUT I'M MEETING SOMEBODY FROM MY PILATES CLASS. 575 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,560 - OH, ZUT ALORS. 576 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:22,630 - A FLEXIBLE GUY. 577 00:22:22,660 --> 00:22:23,930 HE CAN ACTUALLY SUCK HIMSELF OFF 578 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:24,960 AND CLIP HIS TOENAILS AT THE SAME TIME. 579 00:22:24,990 --> 00:22:26,130 WE'RE TAKING IT SLOW. 580 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,960 JUST GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 581 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,000 - HANK, I'M NOT INVOLVED WITH ANYONE. 582 00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:33,540 - WELL, THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW. ME NEITHER. 583 00:22:33,570 --> 00:22:35,570 I'M JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE PILATES GUY. 584 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,070 - GOOD TO KNOW. 585 00:22:38,110 --> 00:22:40,610 SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 586 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,180 - OH, I'M MEETING THIS KID. 587 00:22:42,210 --> 00:22:44,910 HE'S GONNA INTERVIEW ME FOR A COLLEGE NEWSPAPER. 588 00:22:44,950 --> 00:22:46,880 - OH, DEAR. HAS IT COME TO THAT? 589 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,550 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 590 00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:50,190 YOU REMEMBER THAT NICE LADY FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES 591 00:22:50,220 --> 00:22:53,160 WHO WROTE THAT NICE PROFILE ON ME ALL THOSE YEARS AGO? 592 00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:55,890 - I DO. THE ONE WITH THE AMPLE BOSOM. 593 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,890 - YES, SHE DID HAVE AN AMPLE BOSOM. 594 00:22:57,930 --> 00:22:59,030 YOU KNOW WHAT I DIDN'T DO? 595 00:22:59,060 --> 00:23:00,200 I DIDN'T SAMPLE THAT AMPLE BOSOM 596 00:23:00,230 --> 00:23:02,000 BECAUSE I LOVED YOU SO MUCH THEN. 597 00:23:02,030 --> 00:23:03,130 AND I STILL LOVE YOU. 598 00:23:03,170 --> 00:23:05,700 - BECAUSE YOU'RE AN INCREDIBLE HUMAN BEING, HANK MOODY. 599 00:23:05,730 --> 00:23:09,140 - FINALLY YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH. 600 00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:11,770 - I'M SORRY ABOUT THE OTHER DAY. 601 00:23:11,810 --> 00:23:14,010 - I'M SORRY TOO. 602 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,840 ALTHOUGH I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M APOLOGIZING 603 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,510 'CAUSE I-I CAME BACK FOR YOU AND ALL. 604 00:23:18,550 --> 00:23:21,180 - IT WAS A LOT TO PROCESS, YOU KNOW? 605 00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:23,150 AND--AND THE TIMING WAS ALL OFF, AND-- 606 00:23:23,190 --> 00:23:25,490 - WELL, THAT'S US IN A NUTSHELL. 607 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,520 COUPLE OF GOOD-TIMERS WITH EXCEPTIONALLY BAD TIMING. 608 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,930 - NO-- - [laughs] 609 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,560 - UH, HELLO? 610 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,900 EXCUSE ME. 611 00:23:35,930 --> 00:23:36,900 ARE YOU THE WIFE? 612 00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:38,070 - NO--NO, I'M NOT. 613 00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:40,500 - THIS IS THE MOTHER OF MY CHILD. 614 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:42,540 - OH, OKAY. - YEAH. 615 00:23:42,570 --> 00:23:44,510 - DI--DID HE LEAVE YOU? 616 00:23:44,540 --> 00:23:45,810 - NO. - WHA-- 617 00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:46,940 - SHE LEFT ME. 618 00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:48,910 - ACTUALLY, IT'S COMPLICATED. 619 00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:51,480 - YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE IT. 620 00:23:51,510 --> 00:23:53,480 WELL, I BELIEVE WE ACTUALLY HAD AN APPOINTMENT. 621 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,520 - OH, YEAH, SURE. I'M GONNA SHOO. 622 00:23:56,550 --> 00:23:58,220 - LET'S TALK LATER ABOUT THINGS BIG AND SMALL. 623 00:23:58,250 --> 00:24:00,690 I WANT TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY NEW JOB. 624 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:04,090 - I'M INTRIGUED. 625 00:24:04,130 --> 00:24:05,090 STOP IT. 626 00:24:05,130 --> 00:24:07,930 UM, IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU. 627 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,770 MY NAME'S KAREN, BY THE WAY. 628 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,040 - OKAY. BYE. 629 00:24:14,070 --> 00:24:17,510 - OKAY. GOOD LUCK. 630 00:24:21,310 --> 00:24:23,710 - [clears throat] IS IT COOL IF I RECORD THIS? 631 00:24:23,750 --> 00:24:28,050 - YEAH, WHATEVER YOU GOTTA DO. - OKAY, GREAT. 632 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,150 [recorder beeping] 633 00:24:30,190 --> 00:24:30,990 HI. 634 00:24:31,020 --> 00:24:33,590 - HI YOURSELF. 635 00:24:33,620 --> 00:24:36,860 - OKAY, UH, SO I'M HERE WITH HANK MOODY, 636 00:24:36,890 --> 00:24:40,260 WRITER OF BOOKS AND SOME MOVIES, I GUESS. 637 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:42,870 ANYTHING ELSE? 638 00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:45,030 - NO, I THINK THAT ABOUT COVERS IT. 639 00:24:45,070 --> 00:24:46,970 THANKS FOR THE INTRO, CHARLIE ROSE. 640 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,240 [phone clatters] 641 00:24:50,270 --> 00:24:52,170 - SHE'S PRETTY HOT. THAT LADY. 642 00:24:52,210 --> 00:24:54,280 - I CONCUR. - LIKE IN A MILF-Y WAY. 643 00:24:54,310 --> 00:24:56,010 - OH, THAT'S THE BEST-Y WAY. 644 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,810 - YEAH, I GUESS. 645 00:24:58,850 --> 00:24:59,980 I GUESS YOU HIT THAT, HUH? 646 00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:02,720 - TOTALLY. I TOTALLY HIT THAT. 647 00:25:02,750 --> 00:25:06,020 - COOL. DID-- DID YOU USED TO LOVE HER? 648 00:25:06,050 --> 00:25:09,090 - I DO. VERY MUCH SO. 649 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:11,560 - ARE YOU GUYS, LIKE, TOGETHER STILL? 650 00:25:11,590 --> 00:25:14,730 - NOT, LIKE, AT THE MOMENT, LIKE, NO. 651 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,000 - I GUESS IT'S SMART TO KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN. 652 00:25:18,030 --> 00:25:19,300 WOULDN'T WANT ANYTHING TYING YOU DOWN. 653 00:25:19,330 --> 00:25:21,600 - YEAH, BUT "FREEDOM'S" JUST ANOTHER WORD 654 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,210 FOR MISSING SOMEONE. 655 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,340 I THINK TAYLOR SWIFT SAID THAT. 656 00:25:26,370 --> 00:25:29,040 YEAH. YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER, HUH? 657 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,180 - NO. NO, NOT REALLY. SEEMS LIKE HARD WORK. 658 00:25:31,210 --> 00:25:33,350 - IT'S THE WORST. IT SUCKS BALLS. 659 00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:35,620 IT'S HAVING HOMEWORK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 660 00:25:35,650 --> 00:25:36,520 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 661 00:25:36,550 --> 00:25:39,020 - WELL, I KIND OF WANT TO BE AN ACTOR. 662 00:25:39,050 --> 00:25:43,630 - RIGHT ON. NOBLE. PRACTICAL. 663 00:25:43,660 --> 00:25:44,730 - YEAH. 664 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,930 MY GRANDMOTHER SAYS I REMIND HER OF A YOUNG, UM-- 665 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,060 - DUSTIN HOFFMAN. 666 00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:51,200 - NO, MARLON BRANDO. 667 00:25:51,230 --> 00:25:53,070 - AH. 668 00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:54,600 - YEAH, IT SEEMS LIKE FUN, YOU KNOW? 669 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,770 YOU SHOW UP SOMEWHERE, 670 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,340 EVERYONE'S ALWAYS REALLY NICE TO YOU. 671 00:25:57,370 --> 00:25:58,670 GET TO HANG OUT WITH ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL ACTRESSES 672 00:25:58,710 --> 00:26:00,040 AND KISS THEM AND SHIT. 673 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,840 AND YOU HAVE A NUDE SCENE-- TOUCH THEIR BOOBS. 674 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:02,480 - MM. 675 00:26:02,510 --> 00:26:04,080 - THEN YOU GET TO MOVE ON, 676 00:26:04,110 --> 00:26:06,110 DO THE SAME THING ALL OVER AGAIN SOMEWHERE ELSE. 677 00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:08,080 [sighs] SEEMS LIKE A REALLY GREAT LIFE. 678 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:09,950 THE LIFE I'M TRYING TO LEAD FOR MYSELF. 679 00:26:09,990 --> 00:26:11,950 - SURE. 680 00:26:11,990 --> 00:26:14,690 - BET YOU FUCK A LOT OF ACTRESSES, HUH? 681 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:18,160 - I'M SORRY, WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT AGAIN? 682 00:26:18,190 --> 00:26:20,960 - YOU. THE-- THE TYPE OF GUY YOU ARE. 683 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,330 THINGS OF THAT NATURE. 684 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,030 - WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT TYPE OF GUY I AM? 685 00:26:24,070 --> 00:26:26,230 - WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I'M TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. 686 00:26:26,270 --> 00:26:27,970 ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE, YOU SEEM KIND OF INTO YOURSELF. 687 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,410 - AND YOU SEEM TO HAVE SOME KIND OF WEIRD BEEF WITH ME, KID. 688 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,370 YOU SURE I DIDN'T FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING? 689 00:26:32,410 --> 00:26:35,080 - NO, NO, NOT AT ALL. - YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 690 00:26:35,110 --> 00:26:36,410 - PRETTY MUCH, YEAH. 691 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,010 NEVER REALLY HAD WHAT YOU'D CALL A GIRLFRIEND. 692 00:26:39,050 --> 00:26:40,750 - WELL, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 693 00:26:40,780 --> 00:26:43,750 - YEAH. 694 00:26:43,790 --> 00:26:44,890 BUT YOU DID FUCK MY MOM. 695 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:46,660 - WHAT? 696 00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:48,020 - YOU FUCKED MY MOM. 697 00:26:48,060 --> 00:26:50,030 - REALLY? YOU'RE NOT FUCKING WITH ME? 698 00:26:50,060 --> 00:26:51,130 - MM-MM. 699 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,730 - OH, DEAR. OH, ME, OH, MY. 700 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,130 BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. 701 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,870 IT'S VERY UNPLEASANT. 702 00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,400 BUT WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH IT. JUST KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. 703 00:26:59,430 --> 00:27:00,670 ALL RIGHT? 704 00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:06,410 NOW, WHEN DID THIS UNFORTUNATE MOMENT OF CARNAL WHIMSY OCCUR? 705 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,680 - MM... 706 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:12,880 I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS ABOUT NINE MONTHS BEFORE I WAS BORN. 707 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:16,020 [Pete Townshend's Let My Love Open the Door] 708 00:27:16,050 --> 00:27:24,030 * 709 00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:26,460 - * WHEN PEOPLE KEEP REPEATING * 710 00:27:26,490 --> 00:27:30,030 * THAT YOU'LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE * 711 00:27:30,070 --> 00:27:32,330 * WHEN EVERYBODY KEEPS RETREATING * 712 00:27:32,370 --> 00:27:35,270 * BUT YOU CAN'T SEEM TO GET ENOUGH * 713 00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:38,170 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR 714 00:27:38,210 --> 00:27:41,080 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR 715 00:27:41,110 --> 00:27:43,850 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR 716 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,110 * TO YOUR HEART 717 00:27:45,150 --> 00:27:47,050 - * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR, OOH * 718 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,790 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR 719 00:27:49,820 --> 00:27:53,120 - * WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS ALL OVER * 720 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,090 * EVERYBODY SEEMS UNKIND 721 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,790 * I'LL GIVE YOU A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER * 722 00:27:58,830 --> 00:28:01,430 * TAKE ALL THE WORRY OUT OF YOUR MIND * 723 00:28:01,460 --> 00:28:04,370 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR 724 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,340 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR 725 00:28:07,370 --> 00:28:10,070 * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR 726 00:28:10,110 --> 00:28:11,340 * TO YOUR HEART 727 00:28:11,370 --> 00:28:12,840 - * MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR, OOH * 728 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,110 - * TO YOUR HEART 729 00:28:14,140 --> 00:28:16,240 - * LET MY LOVE OPEN THE DOOR, OOH * 51981

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