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1
00:00:07,220 --> 00:00:09,190
- PREVIOUSLY ON
CALIFORNICATION...
2
00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:10,660
HOW'S SCHOOL?
- DAD, I TOLD YOU.
3
00:00:10,690 --> 00:00:12,330
I'M NOT GOING.
I'M WORKING ON A NOVEL.
4
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,530
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
FILL A NOVEL WITH?
5
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,670
- LIFE, LOVE, SEX, DEATH.
6
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:18,300
- WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT ANY OF THOSE THINGS?
7
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,140
- MOVE IT ALONG, GROUPIE,
AND TAKE HIM WITH YOU.
8
00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:21,670
- YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUE,
YOU FILTHY MONGREL.
9
00:00:21,710 --> 00:00:22,810
THIS IS FAITH.
10
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,410
HAVE A LOOK AND GRASP
11
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,810
THE COSMIC IMPORTANCE
OF THIS LOVELY YOUNG LADY.
12
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,680
WITHOUT HER, THERE'D BE
NO ROCK AND ROLL.
13
00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:31,680
- TONY TALKED ABOUT YOU
ALL THE TIME.
14
00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,650
HE SAID THAT YOU HAD
AN UNCANNY ABILITY
15
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,550
TO SUCK KILLER RIFFS
OUT OF HIM.
16
00:00:36,590 --> 00:00:38,460
- I'M SORRY I WAS
SUCH A BITCH.
17
00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:41,160
- GOD, I'M--I'M SO SORRY
I FUCKED YOUR HUSBAND.
18
00:00:41,190 --> 00:00:43,730
BUT YOU HAVEN'T
NAILED IT YET.
19
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,100
'CAUSE I COULD BE THE HAMMER.
20
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,300
- I'M IN THE MIDDLE
21
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:47,700
OF AN EPIC SHIT STORM
RIGHT NOW.
22
00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:49,530
I FIRED MY MANAGER
LAST WEEK,
23
00:00:49,570 --> 00:00:50,830
AND I'M ALL OUT OF COCAINE.
24
00:00:50,870 --> 00:00:52,340
- MIGHT YOU BE
IN THE MARKET
25
00:00:52,370 --> 00:00:53,700
FOR NEW REPRESENTATION?
26
00:00:53,740 --> 00:00:55,710
- IF YOU CAN GET ME
SOME PERUVIAN FLAKE,
27
00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:58,310
I'LL MAYBE THINK ABOUT
THROWING YOU IN THE MIX.
28
00:00:58,340 --> 00:01:00,410
- HERE YOU GO,
ROCK STAR ASSHOLE.
29
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,850
- IT WOULD BE AN HONOR
TO WORK WITH BOTH OF YOU.
30
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,480
SEE YOU BRIGHT AND EARLY
TOMORROW...
31
00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:05,750
AFTERNOON.
32
00:01:11,590 --> 00:01:14,560
[upbeat music]
33
00:01:14,590 --> 00:01:20,860
*
34
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,870
- BECCA.
35
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:25,170
I THINK
IT'S TIME, BECCA.
36
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,000
- FOR WHAT?
37
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,600
- TIME YOU STOP
THIS FUNNY BUSINESS
38
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,170
AND WENT BACK TO SCHOOL.
39
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,740
- NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT.
40
00:01:30,770 --> 00:01:32,210
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
41
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,180
- I'M LIVING THE LIFE
OF AN ARTIST.
42
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:37,210
- OKAY, I GOT IT, BUT WHAT--
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
43
00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,420
TO YOU, EXACTLY?
44
00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:39,880
BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT MORE,
LITTLE MISSY,
45
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,890
TO BEING AN ARTIST
THAN JUST
46
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:43,890
ALTERING YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS
ON A DAILY BASIS.
47
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,560
- I KNOW, WHICH IS WHY
I'M WRITING
48
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:48,290
ON A DAILY BASIS.
49
00:01:48,330 --> 00:01:49,630
- YOU ARE?
50
00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:51,630
UH, HOW MANY PAGES YOU GOT?
51
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:52,900
- I'M CLOSING IN
ON THREE HUNDY.
52
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:54,330
- WHEW. I'M JEALOUS.
53
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,270
- I'M GOING
TO FINISH IT, DAD.
54
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:57,270
MY FIRST NOVEL.
55
00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:59,270
- I HATE YOU.
56
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:00,770
- DO YOU WANT TO KNOW
HOW MANY BOYS I'VE SLEPT WITH?
57
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,740
- OH, NO!
NO, NO.
58
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:04,340
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
59
00:02:04,370 --> 00:02:06,210
- I'M GOING THROUGH
AN EXTREMELY SLUTTY PHASE
60
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,180
RIGHT NOW.
61
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,910
- UH, WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR
AND TAKE THIS
62
00:02:08,950 --> 00:02:10,610
AND JUST HIT ME
OVER THE HEAD WITH IT
63
00:02:10,650 --> 00:02:11,780
AS HARD AS YOU CAN?
64
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,580
I WON'T GET MAD,
I PROMISE.
65
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:15,920
- STOP.
- JUST--BANG. BOOM.
66
00:02:15,950 --> 00:02:17,890
- I JUST WANT
TO EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING
67
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,520
WHILE I STILL CAN,
YOU KNOW?
68
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,430
EVERY TASTE, EVERY SMELL.
69
00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:22,790
- [shuddering]
70
00:02:22,830 --> 00:02:25,300
- STOP GAGGING.
YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER RIGHT NOW.
71
00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:27,630
YOU'RE MY ARTISTIC
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.
72
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:28,870
YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME.
73
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,500
- WELL, YOUR MOM,
SHE CAN JUDGE YOU,
74
00:02:30,530 --> 00:02:32,540
AND SHE IS JUDGING YOU,
AND SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
75
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:35,270
- SHE'S GOT WAY TOO MANY ISSUES
TO HANDLE THIS SHIT.
76
00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:37,240
SHE THINKS I'M HEADED
DOWN YOUR PATH.
77
00:02:37,270 --> 00:02:38,380
- WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT THAT?
78
00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:40,840
- THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I SAID.
79
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,950
- THAT'S MY GIRL.
80
00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:44,710
OKAY, WELL,
I'M NOT JUDGING YOU.
81
00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:47,880
BUT, BECCA, PROMISE ME THAT
YOU'LL JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE.
82
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,320
YOU KNOW, GET YOUR DRINK ON,
KEEP THE PAGES COMING,
83
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,320
SMOKE A LITTLE
PEACHES AND HERB EVEN,
84
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,420
BUT STAY AWAY
FROM THE HARD STUFF.
85
00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:57,290
AND--AND NO MORE OF THAT
TASTING AND SMELLING.
86
00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:59,460
THAT'S--THAT'S--
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
87
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,270
- WHAT ABOUT BLOWJOBS?
[footsteps approach]
88
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,330
- [coughs]
89
00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:05,440
- HANK! HANK!
WE GOTTA GO!
90
00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:08,000
- THANK GOD. CHARLIE,
I WILL GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU.
91
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,970
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER
92
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:12,340
IS ASKING ME
ABOUT BLOWJOBS.
93
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:13,810
WHERE WE OFF TO?
94
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,380
- ATTICUS NEEDS YOU ABOARD
AIR FORCE 69
95
00:03:15,410 --> 00:03:16,550
RIGHT THIS VERY NOW.
96
00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:18,380
- THAT SOUNDS EXHAUSTING.
97
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:20,880
HE'S LIKE A RETARDED
ROCK AND ROLL PUPPY, THAT GUY.
98
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,620
WILL YOU BLOW HIM OFF
FOR ME?
99
00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:24,390
- NO, I WON'T BLOW HIM OFF.
I CAN'T DO THAT.
100
00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:26,520
I WON'T DO THAT.
HE'S MY BIGGEST CLIENT, HANK.
101
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,890
I'M SORRY, BUT HE IS.
HOW MANY RECORDS HAVE YOU SOLD?
102
00:03:28,930 --> 00:03:31,730
- ARE YOU WEARING
EYE SHADOW, CHARLIE?
103
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,900
- HELLO, BECCA.
- CHARLIE.
104
00:03:32,930 --> 00:03:34,330
- I HAVE TO TAKE
YOUR FATHER
105
00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:35,700
AWAY FROM YOU NOW.
- TAKE HIM.
106
00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:36,870
GET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT.
107
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,840
DO YOU GUYS MIND
IF I CRASH HERE,
108
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,710
DO SOME WRITING,
MAYBE HAVE A FEW PEOPLE OVER?
109
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:42,970
- WHATEVER YOU NEED.
I GOT ALCOHOL.
110
00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,740
I GOT PORNOGRAPHY.
I GOT PICTIONARY.
111
00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:46,480
[smack]
112
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:48,780
HAVE FUN.
113
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:52,750
- [mouths words]
114
00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:55,750
[upbeat music]
115
00:03:55,790 --> 00:04:03,890
*
116
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:38,830
[sultry music]
117
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,800
*
118
00:04:41,830 --> 00:04:44,430
- WELCOME ABOARD
AIR FORCE 69,
119
00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:46,700
WHERE YOUR EVERY WISH
IS OUR COMMAND.
120
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:47,870
- REALLY?
121
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:50,070
- ATTICUS MAKES US SAY
THIS SHIT.
122
00:04:50,110 --> 00:04:52,810
- BUT WE WILL MAKE OUT
WITH EACH OTHER IF YOU WANT.
123
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,950
- OH, OKAY.
124
00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,950
HMM.
125
00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:02,090
KRULL,
THE ENGLISH DANISH.
126
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,620
WHAT'S SHAKIN',
MAGIC MOUNTAIN?
127
00:05:03,650 --> 00:05:04,820
HERE, SHOW ME SOME LOVE.
128
00:05:04,850 --> 00:05:07,390
NO LOVE, NO LOVE.
129
00:05:07,420 --> 00:05:09,590
KRULLER,
THIS IS CHARLIE RUNKLE.
130
00:05:09,630 --> 00:05:12,830
- I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU,
THE BOTH OF YOU.
131
00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:14,700
ALL RIGHT?
132
00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:16,030
- GOOD TALKING.
133
00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:19,400
[cacophonous chords]
134
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:27,410
*
135
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,850
- HANK.
136
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,420
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
137
00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:36,020
- WHY AM I HERE?
138
00:05:36,050 --> 00:05:38,560
- I'VE GOT NOTHING.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
139
00:05:38,590 --> 00:05:40,490
- DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY
THEY'RE PAYING ME
140
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,960
TO WRITE THE MUSIC
FOR THIS BLOODY FUCKING THING?
141
00:05:42,990 --> 00:05:44,630
- NO, I DON'T.
142
00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:46,500
- MORE MONEY THAN YOU'LL
EVER SEE IN YOUR LIFETIME.
143
00:05:46,530 --> 00:05:48,770
- HEY, I'VE MADE A FAIR AMOUNT
OF CABBAGE IN MY DAY.
144
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,430
- AWW, HOW CUTE.
145
00:05:50,470 --> 00:05:52,700
YOUR PROLETARIAT
HOPES AND DREAMS.
146
00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:54,740
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SONGS
I'VE WRITTEN
147
00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:55,910
FOR THIS VENTURE OF OURS?
148
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:57,410
- NO, BUT, UH,
149
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,740
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME?
150
00:05:58,780 --> 00:06:00,840
- ZERO.
151
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,680
ZERO POINT ZERO FUCKING ZERO.
152
00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:06,150
- THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD.
- IT ISN'T FUCKING GOOD.
153
00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:08,420
IT'S BLOODY TERRIBLE.
- IT'S ALSO NOT TRUE.
154
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:10,950
YOU PLAYED A SONG FOR ME
AT YOUR PARTY THE OTHER NIGHT.
155
00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:13,020
- I WROTE THAT
WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.
156
00:06:13,060 --> 00:06:14,620
I WAS TRYING TO RECYCLE IT.
157
00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:16,490
- THAT'S PROBABLY WHY
IT SOUNDED SO SHITTY.
158
00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,930
- FUCK YOU.
WASN'T TOO SHITTY FOR THE JUDGES
159
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,760
OF MY YEAR NINE
TALENT CONTEST.
160
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,770
- WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
161
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,600
- HANK.
162
00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:25,640
I NEED YOU, HANK.
163
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:28,940
I NEED TO GET AT THE HEART
OF THIS LOVE STORY.
164
00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:31,640
I NEED YOU TO OPEN
A VEIN FOR ME.
165
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,680
I'VE BEEN RICH AND FAMOUS
FOR SO LONG NOW
166
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:36,180
THAT I DON'T THINK I KNOW
WHAT IT MEANS
167
00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:37,910
TO BE A HUMAN BEING ANYMORE.
168
00:06:37,950 --> 00:06:41,490
YOU'RE REAL, HANK.
YOU'RE--YOU'RE A REAL MAN.
169
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,150
YOU'RE A--YOU'RE A MAN
WHO LOVES A WOMAN
170
00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:47,460
WHO DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK.
171
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,660
- SHE LOVES ME BACK.
WHAT--IT'S COMPLICATED.
172
00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:51,800
- I LOVE MY WIFE.
SHE LOVES ME.
173
00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:53,660
WE'RE TOGETHER.
IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
174
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,600
- YOU FUCK OTHER WOMEN.
- THAT'S DIFFERENT.
175
00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:58,130
- HOW SO?
176
00:06:58,170 --> 00:07:00,040
- DO YOU URINATE, HANK?
177
00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:01,940
DO YOU DEFECATE?
178
00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:03,770
THERE ARE ELEMENTS
IN THE HUMAN BODY
179
00:07:03,810 --> 00:07:04,940
THAT NEED TO TAKE FLIGHT.
180
00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:06,540
EJACULATE'S JUST ONE
OF THEM.
181
00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:07,980
- RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT
MASTURBATION IS FOR.
182
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,150
- EW, NO.
MASTURBATION?
183
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:13,050
MASTURBATION'S FOR THE POOR,
THE DOWNTRODDEN,
184
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,680
THE SILENT UNFUCKABLES.
185
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,950
I WALK DOWN THE STREET
AND WOMEN PRESENT THEMSELVES.
186
00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:19,760
THEY WANT TO EXTRACT
MY FLUIDS.
187
00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:21,590
IT'S AN HONOR
AND A PRIVILEGE, HANK.
188
00:07:21,630 --> 00:07:25,090
WHAT--WHAT SORT OF ASSHOLE
WOULD REFUSE SUCH A KINDNESS?
189
00:07:25,130 --> 00:07:26,860
- WHAT ABOUT YOUR OLD LADY?
- WHAT ABOUT HER?
190
00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:28,100
- WHAT ABOUT HER NEEDS?
191
00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:29,630
- WIVES ARE DIFFERENT.
192
00:07:29,670 --> 00:07:32,670
THEY DON'T RUB THEMSELVES RAW
LIKE WE DO.
193
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:33,870
THEY'RE LADIES.
194
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:35,640
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU SEEM
TO HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT.
195
00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:38,540
I'LL BE ON MY WAY.
- NO, PLEASE.
196
00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:40,110
PLEASE STAY.
197
00:07:40,140 --> 00:07:43,050
I AM FLYING TO NEW YORK
198
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,950
TO PLAY MY MUSIC
FOR THE BROADWAY PRODUCERS.
199
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,250
- BUT YOU HAVE NO MUSIC.
200
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,120
- WHICH IS WHY WE NEED
TO HAMMER THE STORY OUT.
201
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:51,920
ONCE I KNOW THE STORY,
202
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,190
THE MUSIC WILL--
WILL POUR OUT OF ME
203
00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:56,960
LIKE A CHUNKY HAILSTORM
OF SHIT
204
00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:58,090
AFTER A NIGHT
OF DUTCH CURRY.
205
00:07:58,130 --> 00:08:00,730
- [coughs]
- SPEAKING OF WHICH,
206
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,200
I HAVE GOT TO DROP THE KIDS OFF
AT THE POOL
207
00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:04,170
BEFORE I SOIL MY LEATHERS.
208
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,170
THESE PANTS? $7,000.
209
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,000
IT'S GOOD TO BE THE KING.
210
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:09,640
MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE, HANK.
211
00:08:09,670 --> 00:08:13,040
THERE'S PIZZA AND...
COCAINE AND...
212
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,210
APPLE JUICE.
213
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,810
HELLO, SWEETHEART.
214
00:08:15,850 --> 00:08:17,810
- HELLO, HANK.
215
00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:19,080
- MRS. FETCH.
216
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,120
OR PERHAPS I SHOULD SAY
MRS. FETCHING.
217
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:23,320
[both chuckle politely]
218
00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:25,590
- I'VE BEEN WANTING TO HAVE
A WORD WITH YOU.
219
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:26,820
- REGARDING?
220
00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:28,290
- AN EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR.
221
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,130
- OH, MY.
- MM.
222
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,860
I KNOW MY HUSBAND
FUCKS AROUND ON THE ROAD.
223
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:33,260
- YOU DO?
- MM-HMM.
224
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:34,900
BUT WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT.
225
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:36,270
- ARE YOU SURE?
226
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:37,700
- WELL, WE'VE NEVER
ACTUALLY DISCUSSED IT,
227
00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:40,840
BUT I HAVE NEEDS TOO,
YOU KNOW.
228
00:08:40,870 --> 00:08:42,240
- THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
229
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,040
I MEAN, THAT--
THAT'S TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE.
230
00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:46,840
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE CARE
OF THOSE NEEDS, HANK?
231
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,050
- ME? UH, WHY ME?
232
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,580
- 'CAUSE.
233
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:53,620
THIS WHOLE ROCK-AND-ROLL
IDIOT MAN-CHILD SHIT
234
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:55,120
GETS OLD.
235
00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:59,360
I NEED A-A REAL MAN
FROM THE REAL WORLD.
236
00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:02,030
ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH
TO BE THAT REAL, HANK?
237
00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:03,230
- I-I-I DON'T THINK SO.
238
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:04,660
I MEAN, IN FACT,
YOU SHOULD SPEAK
239
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:06,000
TO MY ESTRANGED BETTER HALF.
240
00:09:06,030 --> 00:09:07,260
SHE WOULD TELL YOU
THAT I FALL
241
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,200
MORE INTO THE IDIOT MAN-CHILD
CATEGORY.
242
00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:11,200
- KAREN? SHE SPEAKS
THE WORLD OF YOU.
243
00:09:11,230 --> 00:09:12,370
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
244
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,900
- THAT'S SWEET.
WHAT DOES SHE SAY?
245
00:09:13,940 --> 00:09:15,100
- ENOUGH ABOUT KAREN.
246
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,740
- [sighs]
247
00:09:16,770 --> 00:09:18,370
ISN'T IT WEIRD, THOUGH,
BECAUSE SHE WORKS FOR YOU?
248
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:20,340
- I'M PAYING KAREN
TO REMODEL MY HOME.
249
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:23,110
IF SHE THINKS SHE CAN EXPECT
MORE THAN A PAYCHECK
250
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:24,980
FOR HER SERVICES,
FUCK HER.
251
00:09:25,010 --> 00:09:26,220
- WOW.
- ALL'S FAIR, HANK.
252
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,650
- I SEE YOU
AND YOUR HUSBAND HAVE
253
00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:28,990
THE SAME TWISTED SENSE
OF ENTITLEMENT.
254
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:31,660
THAT'S--IT'S ACTUALLY
KIND OF CUTE.
255
00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:34,160
- I DON'T WANT
TO TWIST YOUR ARM, BUT, UM,
256
00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:36,360
I'D LIKE TO TAKE
YOUR HAND HERE
257
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:38,130
AND SHOVE IT UP MY SKIRT.
258
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,300
[footsteps approach]
259
00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:42,130
- OW.
- YUM, YUM.
260
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,340
- YOU MAKING A PLAY
ON THE BOSS'S WIFE?
261
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,810
YOU'VE GOT
NO FUCKING SHAME.
262
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,910
- KRULLER, IT IS NOT
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
263
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:53,110
I'M JUST MEAT. MAN MEAT.
YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES.
264
00:09:53,140 --> 00:09:54,240
YOU KNOW.
265
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,210
- GIMME AN EXCUSE, PAL.
266
00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:58,210
YOU WON'T EVEN HEAR ME
COMING.
267
00:09:58,250 --> 00:09:59,720
PFFT, PFFT.
268
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:02,320
I'LL SLICE THEM FUCKING CHEEKS
WIDE OPEN.
269
00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:04,020
THEY'LL BE FLAPPING ABOUT
LIKE THE SAILS
270
00:10:04,050 --> 00:10:05,790
ON THE H.M.S. BOUNTY.
271
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:09,260
SEE WHAT A FUCKING CHARMER
YOU ARE THEN, SON.
272
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,900
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
273
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,800
- WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?
I'M GETTING READY FOR TAKEOFF.
274
00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:20,300
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU'RE SWEATING LIKE A PIG.
275
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:22,010
- YOU KNOW WHAT
A NERVOUS FLIER I AM.
276
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,370
- NO, I DON'T.
I'VE NEVER FLOWN WITH YOU.
277
00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:25,370
- THAT'S BECAUSE
I NEVER FLY, HANK.
278
00:10:25,410 --> 00:10:27,140
IT SCARES THE SHIT
OUT OF ME.
279
00:10:27,180 --> 00:10:28,410
WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO KEEP
THIS WHOLE THING
280
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,980
FROM JUST FALLING
INTO THE OCEAN?
281
00:10:30,010 --> 00:10:31,780
- WELL, FOR ONE,
WE'RE GOING TO NEW YORK.
282
00:10:31,820 --> 00:10:32,450
THERE IS NO OCEAN.
283
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,150
- THAT'S EVEN WORSE!
284
00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:35,350
CERTAIN DEATH!
285
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:37,290
- OKAY, JUST BUCK UP,
BUDDY-BOY.
286
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,290
THIS SHIT IS TOO WEIRD FOR ME.
I'M OUT.
287
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,760
- HANK. H-HAN--HANK!
288
00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:46,160
HANK.
289
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,730
- HEY.
290
00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:49,900
[kissing]
291
00:10:49,930 --> 00:10:51,130
- HEY YOURSELF.
292
00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:53,440
- YOU JUST CAN'T STAY AWAY
FROM ME, CAN YOU?
293
00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:55,070
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE,
HANK?
294
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:58,370
- OH, MY PRESENCE WAS REQUESTED
BY THE KING OF POP-TARTS.
295
00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:00,040
- SAME.
- OH, I GET IT.
296
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,450
HE'S IN THE MARKET
FOR A NEW MUSE, IS THAT IT?
297
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,310
- WHO SAYS I'M INTERESTED?
298
00:11:04,350 --> 00:11:05,720
- WELL, YOU'RE HERE,
AREN'T YOU?
299
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,950
- MAYBE I HEARD
YOU WERE GONNA BE HERE.
300
00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:09,190
- MAYBE YOU DID.
DID YOU?
301
00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:10,790
- MAYBE.
302
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,190
MAYBE I JUST CAME
WITH A FRIEND.
303
00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:15,220
[clatter]
- OH, JESUS CHRIST.
304
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:16,430
NO, I'VE GOT IT.
305
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:19,030
I'VE GOT IT.
I'M FINE.
306
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:21,330
FRANK!
- WIDOW.
307
00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,030
- OH, CALL ME TRUDY.
- OKAY.
308
00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:25,300
- BEAUTIFUL.
309
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:26,770
YOU HAD YOUR DICK
IN ME MOUTH, REMEMBER?
310
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,070
- OF COURSE.
WHO COULD FORGET?
311
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,810
- OH, HE'S GOT A NICE RIG
ON HIM, HE DOES.
312
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,340
HE COULD FOAM THE FUCKING RUNWAY
WITH THAT THING.
313
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:36,210
- GOOD TO KNOW.
- SO YOU GUYS ARE BFFs NOW?
314
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:37,750
- YEAH.
315
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,820
- WE'VE CERTAINLY GOT
A LOT IN COMMON, NO?
316
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:42,850
BEEN RIDING THE SAME
DISCO STICK AND ALL.
317
00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:45,490
MM? PBBT, PBBT.
318
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:49,130
- STAYING OR GOING?
319
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:51,360
- STAYING OR GOING, HANK?
320
00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:54,500
[driving rock music]
321
00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:56,270
*
322
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:57,900
ALL RIGHT,
FAVORITE RADIOHEAD ALBUM.
323
00:11:57,930 --> 00:11:59,500
- OH, THAT'S EASY.
NONE OF THEM.
324
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:01,140
THAT SHIT'S WAY TOO COOL
FOR ME.
325
00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:02,510
- OH, FUCK OFF.
- NO.
326
00:12:02,540 --> 00:12:05,210
ALL RIGHT,
HERE'S ONE FOR YOU.
327
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,540
[squealing softly]
328
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:09,850
SIDE TWO, TRACK THREE,
HOUSES OF THE HOLY,
329
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,380
BY A LITTLE BAND
THEY LIKE TO CALL
330
00:12:11,410 --> 00:12:12,980
THE LED ZEPPELIN.
331
00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:15,850
- MM, NO QUARTER.
332
00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:18,190
- YOU'RE GOOD.
YOU ARE GOOD.
333
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,520
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
334
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,960
I INHERITED A DEAD UNCLE'S
VINYL COLLECTION
335
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:25,060
AND SPENT YEARS
IN MY CHILDHOOD BEDROOM
336
00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:27,100
JUST LISTENING TO RECORDS.
337
00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:29,270
- HMM. IS THAT ALL?
338
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:30,800
HMM?
339
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,200
- I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW,
HANK,
340
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,000
THAT I WAS A VERY GOOD
LITTLE CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL.
341
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,540
- OH.
- UP TO A POINT.
342
00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:39,910
- OH, ARE YOU--
ARE YOU TRYING TURN ME ON?
343
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:43,410
DO--HAVE YOU GIVEN ANY FURTHER
THOUGHT TO, YOU KNOW, WHAT--
344
00:12:43,450 --> 00:12:45,250
- TO WHAT?
345
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,320
- YOU KNOW, YOU SAID YOU COULD
DO SOMETHING WITH ME,
346
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,420
BRING MY BEST WORK
OUT OF ME.
347
00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:51,820
YOU SAID THAT YOU COULD BE
THE HAMMER
348
00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:54,420
THAT WOULD HELP ME
TO * NAIL IT
349
00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:56,930
- I'M NOT SURE, HANK.
350
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,430
SOMETHING TELLS ME
YOU'RE A LITTLE MORE TROUBLE
351
00:12:58,460 --> 00:12:59,830
THAN YOU'RE WORTH.
352
00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:01,360
- [sighs]
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
353
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,070
I-I CAN WAX ON AND WAX OFF
WITH THE BEST OF THEM,
354
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,940
MRS. MIYAGI.
355
00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:08,440
- ATTICUS WOULD LIKE
A WORD WITH YOU.
356
00:13:08,470 --> 00:13:10,410
- UGH. OKAY.
357
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,980
- NOT YOU, SWEETHEART.
358
00:13:12,010 --> 00:13:14,440
- I TOLD YOU HE WANTED TO GET
IN YOUR KNICKERS.
359
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,180
- WELL, IT'S NOT AS EASY
AS IT LOOKS.
360
00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:20,050
- YEAH, DON'T I KNOW IT.
361
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,520
- [sniffing]
362
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:24,220
- WHOA.
GROOVY BEDROOM, DUDE.
363
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:25,550
- THIS IS NOT A BEDROOM.
364
00:13:25,590 --> 00:13:29,190
THIS IS MY VERY OWN
EROTIC CHAPEL.
365
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:31,060
- MM.
366
00:13:31,090 --> 00:13:34,300
THAT DOESN'T SOUND
THE SLIGHTEST BIT CREEPY.
367
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:36,930
- THE ANSWER IS YES.
- SORRY?
368
00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:38,630
- I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE
TO ENTER
369
00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:40,970
INTO A RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOU,
370
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,970
ONE BASED SOLELY
ON SEXUAL PLEASURE
371
00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:46,380
AND THE TRANSFERENCE
OF INSPIRATION.
372
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:49,480
- [laughs]
I'M SORRY, ATTICUS,
373
00:13:49,510 --> 00:13:50,980
BUT THE ANSWER IS NO.
374
00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:54,980
- TONY SAID THAT YOU
WERE LIKE A MIRACLE.
375
00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:56,520
WHEN YOU CAME
INTO HIS LIFE,
376
00:13:56,550 --> 00:13:59,960
HE WAS BLOCKED AND BLOATED
AND STRUNG OUT
377
00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:01,260
ON CHINA WHITE,
378
00:14:01,290 --> 00:14:02,660
AND TWO DAYS LATER,
379
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:05,430
HE HAD A DOUBLE ALBUM'S WORTH
OF MATERIAL.
380
00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:09,630
I WOULD--I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE
TO RECEIVE THE SAME BENEFITS,
381
00:14:09,670 --> 00:14:12,900
IN EXCHANGE FOR WHICH
YOU WILL EXPERIENCE
382
00:14:12,940 --> 00:14:15,640
FIRST-CLASS TRAVEL,
PHARMACEUTICAL-GRADE NARCOTICS,
383
00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:18,310
UH--UH--UH,
THE OCCASIONAL TRINKET,
384
00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:21,180
AND--AND A SOLID 5.9 INCHES
385
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,480
OF--OF ROCK-STAR PENIS.
386
00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:24,010
THAT'S FROM TAINT TO TIP.
387
00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:25,410
AND IT'S THE HIGH END
OF AVERAGE.
388
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,020
DON'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU READ.
389
00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:30,090
- WOW, THAT DOES SOUND
LIKE THE DEAL OF A LIFETIME.
390
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,260
BUT, UH, IT'S--
IT'S NOT REALLY THAT SIMPLE.
391
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:34,990
- WHY IS IT NOT THAT SIMPLE?
392
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:38,090
O-OKAY. I'LL BUY YOU
A GERMAN AUTOMOBILE,
393
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:39,130
BUT THAT'S IT.
394
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,400
- ATTICUS,
YOUR WIFE IS OUTSIDE.
395
00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:43,230
- YES, BUT I SLIPPED HER
AN AMBIEN.
396
00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:45,530
- WHAT? THAT'S AWFUL.
397
00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:48,070
- IS IT? WHY?
398
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,410
- 'CAUSE YOU DRUGGED
YOUR WIFE.
399
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,240
- [snorts]
SHE LOVES DRUGS.
400
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:56,550
LOOK, I'M NOT ACTUALLY USED
TO HAVING TO ASK
401
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:58,150
FOR SEXUAL FAVORS.
402
00:14:58,180 --> 00:15:00,450
TYPICALLY, THEY--
THEY JUST COME TO ME.
403
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,090
- I KNOW.
404
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,320
I DO.
405
00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,150
THE THING IS,
406
00:15:05,190 --> 00:15:08,490
WHEN I THROW IN WITH A GUY,
I GO ALL-IN.
407
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,030
- THAT SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL.
408
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:14,130
- I NEED TO KNOW WHAT WE'RE
TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE.
409
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,430
- A ROCK OPERA.
410
00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:19,170
ABOUT...LOVE.
411
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,500
- GREAT. ALL RIGHT.
412
00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:23,170
PLAY ME SOMETHING.
413
00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:25,010
- YOU'RE FUCKING JOKING,
RIGHT?
414
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,580
I HAVE TO AUDITION
FOR YOU?
415
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,710
- DO YOU THINK
WE'LL MAKE IT?
416
00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:29,250
- HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO PLAY
417
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,020
WAS MADISON SQUARE GARDEN.
418
00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:35,450
ATTICUS PROMISED
TO GET ME IN THERE.
419
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,260
I'M GONNA SPREAD HIS ASHES
ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE.
420
00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:42,490
- IS THAT SANITARY?
421
00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:44,490
- WHAT ARE YOU SO SCARED OF,
PUMPKIN?
422
00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:47,130
- IT'S JUST...
[exhales]
423
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,700
SO UNNATURAL,
THIS...FLYING.
424
00:15:50,730 --> 00:15:53,070
- WHAT'S THE WORST
THAT COULD HAPPEN?
425
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:56,170
HUH? WE END UP FUCKING CRUMBS
IN A JAR, HUH?
426
00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:58,770
PBBBT! BIG FUCKING DEAL.
427
00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:02,350
ALL JUST DUST IN THE WIND,
YOU SILLY TWAT.
428
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:04,680
[scoffs]
429
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:08,280
- YOU REMIND ME
OF MY EX-WIFE.
430
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:09,720
- YOU STILL LOVE HER?
431
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:12,290
- MOMENTS LIKE THESE,
WHEN I'M...
432
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,490
STARING DEATH IN THE FACE,
I REALIZE I HAVE A LOT
433
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,590
OF UNRESOLVED FEELINGS
FOR HER.
434
00:16:16,630 --> 00:16:19,300
YEAH, SHE IS THE MOTHER
OF MY CHILD.
435
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:21,060
- OH, NO, I'M SORRY.
436
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,500
- WELL, I FEEL THAT MY LIFE
HAS DETERIORATED
437
00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:26,100
EVER SINCE WE BROKE UP.
438
00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:28,440
BUT I'VE HAD SOME
SOLID SEXUAL EXPERIENCES.
439
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:30,070
- RIGHT.
440
00:16:30,110 --> 00:16:33,110
- I'VE MADE SOME SERIOUS
DEPOSITS IN THE WANK BANK.
441
00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:36,280
- [laughs]
442
00:16:36,310 --> 00:16:37,510
THAT'S BRILLIANT.
443
00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:41,280
- I'M...STILL IN LOVE
WITH HER.
444
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,450
- COME HERE.
445
00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:47,690
COME HERE, LITTLE BOY.
446
00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:51,660
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
447
00:16:51,690 --> 00:16:53,430
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'VE BEEN THERE.
448
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:55,400
- MM.
- [inhales deeply]
449
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,630
[groans squeakily]
450
00:16:57,670 --> 00:16:59,340
- THAT'S NICE.
451
00:16:59,370 --> 00:17:00,700
- YEAH, IT'S NICE.
452
00:17:00,740 --> 00:17:04,070
[sultry rock music]
453
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:07,680
*
454
00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:10,150
[zipper unzips]
455
00:17:10,180 --> 00:17:12,450
*
456
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:16,420
THERE HE IS.
457
00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:19,660
THERE'S YOUR LITTLE WINKY.
458
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,820
COME ON, NOW, WEE WILLY.
459
00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:26,630
STAND UP AND SHOUT
FOR TRUDY.
460
00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:31,200
LET TRUDY TUG
ALL YOUR TROUBLES AWAY.
461
00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:34,440
[voice jerking]
THERE YOU GO-O-O-O.
462
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,110
- [sighs quietly]
463
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,740
- OH.
464
00:17:39,780 --> 00:17:41,440
OH, YOU'RE A SPEEDY ONE,
AIN'T YOU?
465
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,550
- [gasps]
466
00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:45,180
- GOOD FOR YOU.
467
00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:46,550
YOU GOT YOURS.
468
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,450
REST UP, PUMPKIN.
469
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,190
[clears throat]
470
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:52,890
I MIGHT ASK YOU TO PUT IT
IN ME BUM LATER.
471
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,720
IT'S TOO SMALL
FOR THE FRONT
472
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:58,390
BUT JUSSST RIGHT
FOR THE BACK.
473
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:05,330
TONY WAS WAY TOO BIG
FOR THAT SORT OF BUGGERING.
474
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:08,570
COME ON.
475
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,410
[sobbing loudly]
WHY?
476
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,610
- THAT'S WHAT'S MISSING
IN MY LIFE, YOU KNOW?
477
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,880
ROMANCE AND LONGING.
478
00:18:17,910 --> 00:18:19,650
- WHAT ABOUT MR. FETCH?
479
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,750
- YOU CAN'T LONG
FOR A CARTOON CHARACTER.
480
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:23,750
- OH.
- I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG.
481
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,650
HE WAS A REALLY SWEET BOY,
482
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:28,160
ALL HEART AND BALLS
AND SWAGGER,
483
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:32,330
BUT THAT BOY
TURNED INTO A ROCK STAR,
484
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,360
AND THAT ROCK STAR GOT
EVERYTHING HE EVER WANTED
485
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,400
AND MORE.
486
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:40,170
EVENTUALLY, HE JUST LOST TOUCH
WITH REALITY.
487
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,210
I JUST--I WANT TO LONG
FOR SOMEONE...
488
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,270
- OH.
489
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:46,880
- THE WAY YOU LONG
FOR KAREN.
490
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:50,810
- OH, JEEZ. OKAY.
UGH.
491
00:18:50,850 --> 00:18:52,280
HERE WE GO.
492
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,580
COME ON.
THERE YOU GO, COME ON.
493
00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:57,390
LET'S DO THIS.
494
00:18:57,420 --> 00:18:59,520
- YOU TRYING TO SKULL-FUCK
THE MISSUS NOW, ARE YA?
495
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,360
- KRULLER, THIS IS SO NOT
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
496
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:04,760
AHH--AHH--AHH.
AH, HA, HA.
497
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:06,660
YOU'RE GONNA ENJOY THIS,
AREN'T YOU?
498
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,900
- YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
499
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:11,470
- LAND THIS FUCKING PLANE
RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
500
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,900
[cymbal crashes]
501
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:15,340
- WHY? WE'RE GONNA CRASH,
AREN'T WE?
502
00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:17,570
- I WANT THIS PATHETIC
LITTLE SLUT OFF MY PLANE.
503
00:19:17,610 --> 00:19:20,780
THIS IS MY PRIVATE AIRPLANE,
AND I MAKE THE RULES!
504
00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:22,380
WHY ARE WE NOT LANDING?
505
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:25,510
WHY ARE THE LANDING GEARS
NOT COMING DOWN?
506
00:19:25,550 --> 00:19:26,680
- WHAT DID SHE DO?
507
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,550
- SHE WAS INAPPROPRIATE
WITH ME,
508
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:31,520
WITH MY WIFE ON BOARD,
NO LESS.
509
00:19:33,860 --> 00:19:35,960
IS SHE ALIVE?
510
00:19:35,990 --> 00:19:37,690
SHE'S FINE.
GO BACK TO SLEEP.
511
00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:39,830
- IT'S JUST FUCKING BULLSHIT.
HE'S CLEARLY PISSED OFF
512
00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:41,600
'CAUSE I WASN'T INTERESTED
IN FUCKING HIM.
513
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:42,830
- I KNEW IT.
- [laughs]
514
00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:45,300
- I KNEW YOU WERE
A FUCKING COW.
515
00:19:45,330 --> 00:19:46,500
- HEY, I THOUGHT
WE WERE FRIENDS.
516
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:47,840
- NO, NO MORE!
517
00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:49,440
HOME-WRECKER!
HOME-WRECKING FUCKING COW!
518
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:51,340
- NO, I DON'T BUY THAT
FOR A SECOND.
519
00:19:51,370 --> 00:19:52,840
- I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
IF YOU BUY IT.
520
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,740
SHE'S GONE,
AND I'M GONNA TELL
521
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:57,580
THE ENTIRE ROCK AND ROLL
COMMUNITY THAT YOU HAVE
522
00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,750
VAGITOSIS AND WARTS.
523
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:00,980
- THAT IS JUST FUCKING MEAN.
524
00:20:01,020 --> 00:20:02,920
- OKAY, LAND THIS
FUCKING PLANE,
525
00:20:02,950 --> 00:20:04,450
BUT IF SHE GOES, I GO,
AND YOU CAN FINISH
526
00:20:04,490 --> 00:20:05,850
YOUR FUCKING MUSICAL
BY YOURSELF,
527
00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,420
YOU SPOILED GINGER.
528
00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:08,990
AND GET YOUR HOUSE IN ORDER,
'CAUSE YOUR WIFE
529
00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:11,960
IS LOOKING FOR STRANGE.
530
00:20:11,990 --> 00:20:13,730
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S THE SECOND TIME
531
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,000
YOU'VE LAID HANDS
ON ME, BROHEME.
532
00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,600
THE FIRST TIME,
I TOTALLY DESERVED IT
533
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:18,270
'CAUSE I WRECKED YOUR PIANO
AND YOUR COCAINE,
534
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,440
BUT I DID NOT DESERVE
THAT PATHETIC LITTLE
535
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:21,740
BITCH-SLAP JUST NOW.
536
00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:23,840
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT
CALLS FOR?
537
00:20:23,870 --> 00:20:25,340
TITTY TWISTER!
538
00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:26,610
- [screaming]
539
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,880
AGH! GET HIM OFF ME!
540
00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:30,550
[laughing wildly
and screaming]
541
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:31,950
[thunder crashes]
542
00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:34,420
- OH, JESUS, MARY, JOSEPH!
543
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:36,620
HERE WE COME!
544
00:20:36,650 --> 00:20:38,550
HANK? HANK?
545
00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:39,790
HOLD ME!
546
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:42,390
- UH, SETTLE DOWN, RUNKS.
IF THIS IS--
547
00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:46,330
IF THIS IS IT,
THIS IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE.
548
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:47,900
[screams]
549
00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:50,770
SHI-I-I-T!
550
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,570
[screaming]
551
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:53,800
JESUS!
552
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,940
[metal banging]
553
00:20:55,970 --> 00:20:58,310
[screaming]
554
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:01,940
- TONY!
555
00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:03,680
[wailing]
556
00:21:03,710 --> 00:21:06,380
[sobbing]
OH, NO!
557
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:08,520
[snorts]
558
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,390
- WELL, THANK YOU
FOR STANDING UP FOR ME.
559
00:21:13,420 --> 00:21:16,460
- OH, SURE, NO PROBLEM.
I MEAN, WHO WOULDN'T?
560
00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:18,530
JUST BECAUSE
YOU'RE A GROUPIE AND--
561
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,530
AND YOU'VE SLEPT WITH
THOUSANDS OF ROCKER DUDES
562
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,570
DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT
A WOMAN OF VIRTUE.
563
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,930
AND I DON'T BELIEVE
FOR A SECOND
564
00:21:23,970 --> 00:21:25,430
THAT YOU HAVE VAGITOSIS.
565
00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:27,040
- OR WARTS.
- IF YOU SAY SO.
566
00:21:27,070 --> 00:21:28,700
- [sobbing]
- GO AHEAD, CHURCHILL.
567
00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:30,070
GET IN THERE.
568
00:21:30,110 --> 00:21:32,070
- I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN.
I'M TOO FREAKED OUT.
569
00:21:32,110 --> 00:21:33,680
- COME ON, PRIME MINISTER.
570
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,080
IF YOU'RE GONNA DIE,
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER DIE
571
00:21:35,110 --> 00:21:36,780
WITH YOUR DICK IN ME BUM?
HUH?
572
00:21:36,810 --> 00:21:38,610
[thunder crashes]
573
00:21:38,650 --> 00:21:40,550
[both groaning loudly]
574
00:21:40,580 --> 00:21:41,950
- YEAH.
575
00:21:41,980 --> 00:21:45,090
[both grunting and moaning]
576
00:21:47,020 --> 00:21:48,520
- OH, FUCK THIS.
577
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,730
IF I'M GONNA DIE,
578
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,830
I'M GONNA DIE DOING
WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO.
579
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,430
[thunder crashes]
580
00:21:53,460 --> 00:21:54,860
[playing Elton John's
Tiny Dancer]
581
00:21:54,900 --> 00:21:57,830
* BLUE JEAN BABY
582
00:21:57,870 --> 00:22:00,570
* L.A. LADY
583
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,870
- WAIT. DUDE, REALLY?
584
00:22:02,910 --> 00:22:04,040
- COULD YOU PICK
A MORE OBVIOUS SONG?
585
00:22:04,070 --> 00:22:06,040
- FUCK YOU!
IT'S AN HOMAGE.
586
00:22:06,070 --> 00:22:08,780
CAMERON CROWE WAS RIGHT,
AND ELTON JOHN WAS A GOD.
587
00:22:08,810 --> 00:22:09,980
[playing continues]
588
00:22:10,010 --> 00:22:15,450
* HOLD ME CLOSER,
TINY DANCER *
589
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,720
[both groaning]
- * COUNT THE HEADLIGHTS
590
00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:20,690
* ON THE HIGHWAY
591
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,490
- [howls]
592
00:22:22,530 --> 00:22:27,060
- [mumbling lyrics]
- [laughing and grunting]
593
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:31,070
- [humming and improvising
on piano]
594
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,740
[humming in lower key]
595
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,610
* SO LONG
596
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,840
* SO LONG
597
00:22:38,870 --> 00:22:40,140
[laughs]
598
00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:42,080
FUCK. THIS IS IT.
599
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:43,580
THIS IS THE MOMENT
WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
600
00:22:43,610 --> 00:22:45,150
I'M SHITTING GENIUS
RIGHT NOW.
601
00:22:45,180 --> 00:22:47,520
[uncertainly]
* SAW YOUR
602
00:22:47,550 --> 00:22:50,650
* YOU REFLECTED
IN THE WINDOWS *
603
00:22:50,690 --> 00:22:55,160
* OF A BOEING 727
604
00:22:55,190 --> 00:22:56,790
*
605
00:22:56,830 --> 00:22:58,690
* STARED OUT AT THE
606
00:22:58,730 --> 00:23:01,800
[humming]
607
00:23:01,830 --> 00:23:02,970
* AS THE SUNSET TURNED
608
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,800
- IT'S OKAY. SHE KNOWS.
- HUH?
609
00:23:05,830 --> 00:23:07,100
- SHE KNOWS YOU LOVE HER.
610
00:23:07,140 --> 00:23:09,870
- * WATCH IT GROWING
611
00:23:09,910 --> 00:23:11,610
- YEAH, I SUPPOSE SHE DOES.
612
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:15,910
- * TURNS HELL'S KITCHEN
INTO HEAVEN *
613
00:23:15,940 --> 00:23:17,180
[laughs giddily]
614
00:23:17,210 --> 00:23:19,050
* TURN MY FACE TO ME
- COME HERE.
615
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,050
- * I TUCKED YOUR HAIR
616
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,150
* BEHIND YOUR EAR
617
00:23:24,190 --> 00:23:26,190
- IF THIS IS REALLY IT,
618
00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:28,820
THEN I WANT TO SPEND
THE LAST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE
619
00:23:28,860 --> 00:23:30,160
LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC
620
00:23:30,190 --> 00:23:31,790
AND MAKING OUT
WITH THE CUTE GUY
621
00:23:31,830 --> 00:23:33,130
WHO JUST DEFENDED MY HONOR.
622
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,600
- * SO LONG
623
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:38,630
- THAT SOUNDS LIKE
A REASONABLE REQUEST.
624
00:23:38,670 --> 00:23:42,100
- * SO LONG
AS WE ARE TOGETHER *
625
00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:45,670
* SO LONG AS WE ARE
626
00:23:45,710 --> 00:23:48,680
* SO LONG
627
00:23:48,710 --> 00:23:50,210
* SO LONG
628
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:52,980
- OW! OW!
- [grunting]
629
00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:56,790
- OW! OW!
- [grunting louder]
630
00:23:56,820 --> 00:24:00,620
[screams]
631
00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:02,830
- FUCKING CHRIST!
632
00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:05,560
[both gasping and moaning]
633
00:24:05,590 --> 00:24:09,600
OH, I JUST HAD ME
AN ASSGASM!
634
00:24:09,630 --> 00:24:12,030
[panting]
635
00:24:12,070 --> 00:24:15,170
YOU'RE A BLOODY FUCKING
SORCERER, YOU ARE.
636
00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:32,120
- [panting]
TERRA FIRMA.
637
00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:34,120
TERRA FIRMA,
MOTHERFUCKERS.
638
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,860
- CAREFUL, CHARLIE.
639
00:24:35,890 --> 00:24:38,290
THERE'S BOUND TO BE A BUNCH
OF ROCK STAR DNA ON THAT FLOOR.
640
00:24:38,330 --> 00:24:40,000
- I DON'T CARE, HANK.
641
00:24:40,030 --> 00:24:42,930
I DON'T CARE IF I GET
THE MOTHER OF ALL COLD SORES.
642
00:24:42,970 --> 00:24:45,730
AND WE ARE TAKING THE TRAIN
BACK TO LOS ANGELES.
643
00:24:45,770 --> 00:24:50,170
- NO, WE'RE NOT.
- WHY CAN'T YOU EVER INDULGE ME?
644
00:24:50,210 --> 00:24:53,040
- WELL, MY FRIENDS,
WE DID IT.
645
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,740
[snaps fingers]
WE HAVE A SONG.
646
00:24:55,780 --> 00:24:58,980
JESUS BLOODY CHRIST, WOMAN,
YOU ARE A--
647
00:24:59,010 --> 00:25:00,950
A PROPER FUCKING MUSE.
648
00:25:00,980 --> 00:25:03,650
THANK YOU.
649
00:25:03,690 --> 00:25:05,920
- MM. MM.
650
00:25:05,950 --> 00:25:08,990
- AND I'M, UH,
DEEPLY SORRY
651
00:25:09,020 --> 00:25:10,830
ABOUT MY CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.
652
00:25:10,860 --> 00:25:13,760
I TEND TO GET THAT WAY
WHEN MY MANHOOD IS ASSAILED.
653
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,100
- FUCK YOU.
654
00:25:15,130 --> 00:25:16,770
- [groans]
655
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:18,330
WHAT THE FUCK?
656
00:25:18,370 --> 00:25:20,970
- HELLO, SWEETHEART.
DID YOU HAVE A NICE SLEEP?
657
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,310
- DID I TAKE AN AMBIEN?
658
00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:25,870
- YEAH.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
659
00:25:25,910 --> 00:25:27,040
- NO.
660
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:28,780
- YEAH.
661
00:25:28,810 --> 00:25:31,310
- DID YOU DRUG ME AGAIN,
YOU FUCKING WANKER?
662
00:25:31,350 --> 00:25:32,980
- [chuckles]
OF COURSE NOT.
663
00:25:33,020 --> 00:25:34,180
GUESS WHAT, THOUGH.
664
00:25:34,220 --> 00:25:35,320
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING,
665
00:25:35,350 --> 00:25:37,290
I WROTE YOU
A FUCKING SONG.
666
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:38,920
I'LL PLAY IT TO YOU
BACK AT THE HOTEL.
667
00:25:38,950 --> 00:25:40,090
- OKAY.
- COME ON, DARLING.
668
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:41,620
IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
OH-OH.
669
00:25:41,660 --> 00:25:44,630
SHIT. OKAY.
670
00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:47,800
[The Who's Magic Bus]
671
00:25:47,830 --> 00:25:55,770
*
672
00:25:59,310 --> 00:26:00,840
- * EVERY DAY,
I GET IN THE QUEUE *
673
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,140
- OH.
674
00:26:02,180 --> 00:26:03,950
I DON'T WANT TO ALARM YOU,
675
00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:06,280
BUT YOU SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED
YOUR CLOTHES.
676
00:26:06,310 --> 00:26:09,050
- OH, I WON'T BE NEEDING THEM
FOR A WHILE.
677
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,690
- SO IS IT NAKED NAP TIME?
678
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:11,620
- HMM.
679
00:26:11,650 --> 00:26:13,990
THINK I'M GONNA HANG BACK HERE
FOR A BIT.
680
00:26:14,020 --> 00:26:15,360
- REALLY?
681
00:26:15,390 --> 00:26:17,730
'CAUSE THAT'S
NEW YORK CITY OUT THERE,
682
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,400
AND I KNOW LIKE SEVEN PIZZERIAS,
ALL OF THEM FANTASTIC,
683
00:26:20,430 --> 00:26:22,230
AND WE COULD HIT
EVERY ONE,
684
00:26:22,260 --> 00:26:24,970
JUST ONE BITE HERE
AND ONE BITE THERE AND JUST--
685
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,970
- SOUNDS YUMMY.
MAYBE AFTER.
686
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,300
- AFTER.
AFTER?
687
00:26:29,340 --> 00:26:32,240
- [giggles]
I'VE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING.
688
00:26:32,270 --> 00:26:33,680
- SOME NAKED THINKING.
689
00:26:33,710 --> 00:26:36,240
- UH-HUH.
CONGRATULATIONS.
690
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,080
YOU HAVE MADE IT
TO THE NEXT ROUND.
691
00:26:39,110 --> 00:26:42,990
- * OOH
692
00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:44,950
- [laughs]
693
00:26:44,990 --> 00:26:47,720
*
694
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:53,200
- * I WANT IT, I WANT IT,
I WANT IT, I WANT IT *
695
00:26:53,230 --> 00:26:55,730
- * YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!
696
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,970
- * I WANT IT, I WANT IT,
I WANT IT, I WANT IT *
697
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,140
- * MAGIC BUS
698
00:27:00,170 --> 00:27:01,240
- * MAGIC BUS
699
00:27:01,270 --> 00:27:03,840
- * MAGIC BUS
700
00:27:03,870 --> 00:27:08,710
* MAGIC BUS
- * MAGIC BUS
701
00:27:08,740 --> 00:27:11,750
- * I WANT IT
- * MAGIC BUS
702
00:27:11,780 --> 00:27:14,220
- * EVERY DAY,
YOU'LL SEE THE DUST *
703
00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:16,350
- * TOO MUCH, MAGIC BUS
704
00:27:16,380 --> 00:27:19,090
- * AS I DRIVE MY BABY
IN MY MAGIC BUS *
705
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:21,290
- * TOO MUCH,
MAGIC BUS *
706
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,390
- * I SAID NOW I'VE GOT
MY MAGIC BUS *
707
00:27:24,430 --> 00:27:26,330
- * TOO MUCH, MAGIC BUS
708
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:29,160
- * I SAID NOW I'VE GOT
MY MAGIC BUS *
709
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,700
- * TOO MUCH, MAGIC BUS
710
00:27:31,730 --> 00:27:34,370
- * I DRIVE MY BABY
EVERY WAY *
711
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,440
- * TOO MUCH, MAGIC BUS
712
00:27:36,470 --> 00:27:39,310
- * EACH TIME,
I GO A DIFFERENT WAY *
713
00:27:39,340 --> 00:27:42,040
- * TOO MUCH, MAGIC BUS
714
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,080
* MAGIC BUS, MAGIC BUS
715
00:27:44,110 --> 00:27:46,210
* MAGIC BUS
49175
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