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1
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,190
- PREVIOUSLY ON
CALIFORNICATION...
2
00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:11,430
- MAN, WHAT ARE THE ODDS I END
UP NEXT TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
3
00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:13,560
WOMAN IN THE TRI-STATE AREA?
4
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,800
- HE WANTS HANK
TO COME TO HIM.
5
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:17,770
- WHO THE FUCK IS HE?
6
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,440
- SAMURAI APOCALYPSE.
7
00:00:19,470 --> 00:00:21,710
- I WANNA DO MY OWN THING.
MY OWN MOMENT.
8
00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:24,810
SANTA MONICA COP-- THAT'S MY
EDDIE MURPHY MOMENT RIGHT NOW.
9
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,780
- I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S NOT REALLY MY THING.
10
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,350
- GET YOUR SEXY ASS OVER HERE,
MAMA.
11
00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:30,810
[Samurai muttering]
12
00:00:30,850 --> 00:00:33,120
- I'M CHARLIE RUNKLE.
WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE.
13
00:00:33,150 --> 00:00:35,250
- NO, I'M JUST THE NANNY,
BUT COME ON IN.
14
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:36,650
- ARE--ARE YOU OKAY?
15
00:00:36,690 --> 00:00:37,850
- I JUST GOT FIRED.
16
00:00:37,890 --> 00:00:40,560
- ARE YOU LOOKING
FOR A NEW GIG?
17
00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:43,190
- HANK MOODY, BETTER NOT BE
HITTIN' ON MY GIRL.
18
00:00:43,230 --> 00:00:44,860
YOU SHOULD BE AT STARBUCKS
WRITING ME SOME FUNNY SHIT.
19
00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:46,360
- I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT.
20
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,400
HOW'S BECCA?
21
00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:48,670
- BOYFRIEND.
22
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:49,700
I WANT TO KILL HIM, HANK.
23
00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:51,840
- TYLER.
24
00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:54,100
- THIS--THIS IS NOT WHAT
IT LOOKS LIKE.
25
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:55,310
THIS IS MY SISTER.
26
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:56,740
- WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
ALL ABOUT?
27
00:00:56,770 --> 00:00:58,580
- SOME GUY MY DAUGHTER'S SEEING.
28
00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:00,210
I THINK HE'S GONNA BREAK
HER HEART.
29
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,210
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD BREAK
HIS LEGS FIRST.
30
00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,750
- TYLER WAS LEAVING SOME CLUB
IN HOLLYWOOD
31
00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:05,620
AND HE GOT JUMPED
BY A BUNCH OF GANGBANGERS.
32
00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:07,580
[phone beeps]
33
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,230
* I WAS SITTING IN THE
34
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:25,870
* HOLLYWOOD HAWAIIAN HOTEL
35
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:29,640
* I WAS STARING IN MY EMPTY
COFFEE CUP *
36
00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,710
- FADE THE FUCK OUT.
37
00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:33,410
THE END, MOTHERFUCKER.
38
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:34,410
CHARLIE!
39
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,650
- WAY AHEAD OF YOU, BUDDY.
40
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:37,650
[glasses chink]
41
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,150
- PRINT, BITCHES.
42
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,750
- WAIT!
DON'T YOU WANT TO SPELLCHECK?
43
00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:43,920
- NAH, SOMETHING TELLS ME
THE SAMURAI ISN'T MUCH OF
44
00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:45,790
A TYPO NAZI,
AND I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.
45
00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:47,260
I GOTTA GET MY BROWN EYE
ON THE RED-EYE.
46
00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:48,830
I GOTTA A PLANE TO CATCH.
47
00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,760
- PLEASE STAY.
- MM-MM.
48
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,360
I CAME, I SAW, I TURNED
SOME WORDS INTO CASH.
49
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,400
THE COFFERS ARE FULL.
50
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,170
BESIDES, I DON'T WANT TO
GET MYSELF KILLED
51
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,640
BY A TRIGGER-HAPPY RAPPER.
52
00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:03,810
- IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME
WITHOUT YOU, BUDDY.
53
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,180
- JUST GO DOWN TO THE BAR
AND GRAB YOURSELF ONE OF YOUR
54
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,250
MESSY BESSIES, AND YOU'LL FEEL
BETTER IN THE MORNING.
55
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,510
- THAT'S THE THING, HANK.
IT DON'T WORK ANYMORE.
56
00:02:10,550 --> 00:02:11,780
I'M LONELY.
57
00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,220
I LONG FOR COMPANIONSHIP.
58
00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:14,650
- IS THIS IT?
59
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,620
IS THIS THE MOMENT
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR?
60
00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:17,950
ARE YOU FINALLY COMING OUT
TO ME, CHARLIE?
61
00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:22,260
- FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP.
FEE-HEE-MALE.
62
00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:24,760
- GRAB YOURSELF A LADY FRIEND.
- IT'S NOT THAT EASY.
63
00:02:24,790 --> 00:02:27,960
I'M OLD AND BALD AND LACKING
IN SOCIAL SKILLS.
64
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,870
- [laughs]
65
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,800
- YEAH, BUT YOU DO MAKE
A DECENT LIVING.
66
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,270
AND YOU HAVE THIS GROOVY PAD.
67
00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:35,970
- AND THAT'S REALLY GOOD
FOR THE HEDONIST.
68
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:39,380
IT IMPRESSES THE SHIT OUT OF
THE STRIPPERS AND THE BARMAIDS.
69
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,950
BUT WHAT IF I WANT
SOMETHING MORE?
70
00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:44,680
- SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER
NOT TO TOUCH YOUR DREAMS.
71
00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:46,280
TAKE IT
FROM SOMEONE WHO KNOWS.
72
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,920
- THAT IS PROFOUND--LY
DEPRESSING.
73
00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:51,390
- SPEAKING OF WHICH, I GOTTA GO
SAY GOOD-BYE TO BECCA.
74
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:55,390
THEN I GOTTA DROP THIS PUPPY OFF
AT MTV CRIBS.
75
00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:57,830
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
- I DON'T KNOW.
76
00:02:57,860 --> 00:02:59,700
I GUESS I'LL PROBABLY MASTURBATE
TO SOMETHING DIRTY
77
00:02:59,730 --> 00:03:01,430
ON THE INTERNET WHILE I WAIT
FOR STUART TO SHOW UP
78
00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:03,470
AND SPEND THE NIGHT.
- SOLID PLAN.
79
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:04,730
WHAT'S ON THE MENU THESE DAYS?
80
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:06,440
- I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.
81
00:03:06,470 --> 00:03:09,740
I'M EXTREMELY PARTIAL THESE DAYS
TO LIVE SEX-CAMS.
82
00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:10,870
YEAH, FOR JUST A COUPLE OF BUCKS
A MINUTE,
83
00:03:10,910 --> 00:03:12,580
THEY'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
84
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:16,910
I GOT THIS GIRL TO DRINK HER OWN
PEE THE OTHER DAY.
85
00:03:16,950 --> 00:03:19,450
- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
- WHAT?
86
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,020
- THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T
FIND A GIRL.
87
00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:22,450
YOU'RE TOO BUSY MAKING THEM DO
DISGUSTING THINGS
88
00:03:22,490 --> 00:03:23,720
ON THE INTERNET.
89
00:03:23,750 --> 00:03:24,850
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED
OF YOURSELF.
90
00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:25,920
- I AM.
- GOOD.
91
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,460
NOW HUG ME.
I GOTTA GO.
92
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,630
CHARLIE?
- YES.
93
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:34,960
- IS THAT A DILDO
IN YOUR POCKET
94
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,900
OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY
TO SEE ME GO?
95
00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:40,900
- I THINK I MUST HAVE BEEN
RELIVING THAT PEE THING.
96
00:03:40,940 --> 00:03:44,340
NOW IT'S JUST A SHAME BONER.
97
00:03:44,370 --> 00:03:47,310
[upbeat music]
98
00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:56,850
*
99
00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:38,960
- [groans]
100
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,660
OH, OW!
101
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,630
FUCK, FUCK!
- HEY...
102
00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:44,100
WHAT'D THAT POOR HOUSE
EVER DO TO YOU?
103
00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:45,770
- NOTHING!
104
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,370
IT'S WHAT THAT PANSY-ASS
LITTLE PUSSY FART
105
00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:51,680
IS DOING IN MY HOUSE.
106
00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:56,480
I GOTTA WALK THIS SHIT OFF
BEFORE I END UP BACK IN PRISON.
107
00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:59,480
FUCKER!
108
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,780
FUCKER!
109
00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:08,830
- HEY.
110
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,960
- HEY.
111
00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:13,060
- WHAT'S WITH
THE HUBBY OUT THERE?
112
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,830
[chuckles]
- OH...
113
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:17,830
TYLER GOT INTO HIS 40-YEAR-OLD
BOTTLE OF CHIVAS.
114
00:05:17,870 --> 00:05:19,500
- WHAT THE HUH?
115
00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:20,500
I THOUGHT BATESY
WAS ON THE WAGON.
116
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,110
- YEAH, HE IS.
117
00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:24,070
BUT YOU KNOW, HE KEEPS IT AROUND
AS A SYMBOL OF HIS SOBRIETY.
118
00:05:24,110 --> 00:05:27,580
- OH, RIGHT ON.
119
00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:30,010
SO HOW'S PATIENT ZERO?
120
00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:31,080
- DEMANDING.
- YEAH?
121
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:33,150
- MM.
- MM-HMM?
122
00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:35,150
I'M WAITING.
MY PROPS?
123
00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:37,490
I TOLD YOU THE KID
WAS AN ASSHOLE.
124
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,520
- WELL, YEAH, BUT YOU THINK
EVERYONE'S AN ASSHOLE.
125
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:40,920
- YES.
YES, I DO.
126
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:41,990
BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME
ANY LESS RIGHT
127
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:44,730
ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR ASSHOLE.
128
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,860
- I GOTTA GO TO THE DRUGSTORE.
TYLER NEEDS MORE VICODIN.
129
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:48,700
- HI, BECCA.
REMEMBER ME?
130
00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:49,770
- OH, HEY, DAD.
131
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,600
- HEY, I'M LEAVING...
132
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,770
ON A JET PLANE...
133
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,870
DON'T KNOW WHEN
I'LL BE BACK AGAIN.
134
00:05:56,910 --> 00:05:58,910
MAYBE A HUG?
135
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,010
- SAFE TRAVELS, DAD.
136
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,080
- ALL RIGHT, I LOVE YOU.
137
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,910
- SEE YOU SOON.
138
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:05,150
YEAH...
139
00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:06,850
HEY, A QUICK ONE
WHILE THEY'RE AWAY?
140
00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,490
COME ON.
FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE.
141
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,750
- YOU'RE HITTING ON
A MARRIED WOMAN.
142
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:10,750
- I KNOW.
- YEAH.
143
00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:12,190
- WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
144
00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:13,490
- YOU REALLY WANT ME TO SIC
MY HUSBAND ON YOU
145
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,020
IN THE STATE HE'S IN?
146
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,630
- YOU'RE RIGHT.
147
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:17,830
THAT KIND OF THING
COULD LEAD A MAN TO DRINK.
148
00:06:17,860 --> 00:06:18,930
- YES.
149
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,060
- AND THEN HIS GLORIOUS
MANGINA
150
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,730
MIGHT MAKE AN APPEARANCE.
151
00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:24,170
WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE THAT
HAPPEN, WOULD WE?
152
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,770
ACTUALLY, I WOULD.
153
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,040
I'M DYING TO SEE
THAT THING AGAIN.
154
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,040
- COME ON, LET'S DO IT.
- STOP IT.
155
00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:29,070
- COME ON.
156
00:06:29,110 --> 00:06:31,040
- KAREN, IS DINNER READY YET?
157
00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:32,980
- YEAH.
I'M GONNA TAKE THIS...
158
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:34,540
- NO, ALLOW ME.
159
00:06:34,580 --> 00:06:35,710
- WELL, PUT IT ON THE--
160
00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:38,150
- HEY, FUCK THAT.
161
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:39,750
[TV playing]
162
00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:41,820
- THANK, GOD.
I WAS ABOUT TO EAT MY FOOT.
163
00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,650
OH...
164
00:06:43,690 --> 00:06:45,190
HEY, HANK.
165
00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:47,620
- WOW, YOU'VE REALLY MOVED IN,
HAVEN'T YOU?
166
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:48,930
I HOPE YOU'RE NOT
EXPECTING TO GET
167
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,090
YOUR SECURITY DEPOSIT
BACK, ARE YOU?
168
00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:52,730
- HEY, LISTEN,
THEY INSISTED, OKAY?
169
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,130
- MMM! IT'S GOOD.
- HA-HA.
170
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,670
AWW!
171
00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:58,970
MY FOLKS ARE OUT OF
TOWN, ALL RIGHT?
172
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,200
- THAT'S WHAT YOUR
FOLKS TOLD YOU.
173
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,010
THEY ACTUALLY HATE YOUR GUTS
174
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,010
AND RUE THE DAY THAT YOUR FATHER
EVER FAILED TO PULL OUT IN TIME.
175
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,510
- HA-HA.
176
00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:06,840
WHY DON'T YOU GO EASY
ON ME, MAN?
177
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,480
I GOT MY ASS BEAT
ABOUT A WEEK AGO.
178
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:10,550
- I KNOW.
I KNOW THAT.
179
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,850
AND I WAS ALMOST SAD
WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS.
180
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,750
AND THEN I WAS VAGUELY
DISAPPOINTED WHEN I HEARD
181
00:07:14,780 --> 00:07:16,890
YOU WEREN'T GONNA DIE
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
182
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,560
BUT KNOWING YOU WERE IN GREAT
PAIN DID MAKE ME SMILE.
183
00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:20,890
IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS,
YOU KNOW?
184
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,230
- MM.
185
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:23,790
- BUT IF YOU BREAK MY DAUGHTER'S
HEART...
186
00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:25,660
BEING STOMPED ON BY
A BUNCH OF GANGBANGERS
187
00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:28,130
IS GONNA SEEM LIKE A PLAYDATE
COMPARED TO THE CAN OF RAPE-ASS
188
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:32,000
I WILL OPEN UP ON YOUR...
189
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:36,040
ASS.
190
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:37,740
- MM...
191
00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:39,710
WELL, I HAVE NO INTENTION
OF BREAKING HER HEART.
192
00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:41,780
- GOOD.
- SHE'S A COOL CHICK.
193
00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:43,510
- AND IF YOU RESPECT
HER COOLNESS,
194
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,850
YOU WILL TELL HER THAT
YOU ARE A LYING, CHEATING,
195
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,850
SKULLDUGGEROUS
LITTLE MANWHORE.
196
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:48,950
YOU HEAR ME?
197
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,220
- I HEAR YOU.
198
00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:52,660
ARE WE COOL?
199
00:07:52,690 --> 00:07:55,220
- NO, NEVER.
- [laughs]
200
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:57,790
- CAN I BUM A SMOKE?
- SURE.
201
00:07:58,930 --> 00:08:02,030
- GOT A LIGHT?
202
00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:04,100
- AH! SEE, IT'S THIS DAMN
FINGER OF MINE.
203
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:05,740
- OH, YEAH. I BET IT'S...
- OH!
204
00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:07,240
- IT'S HARD TO...
- GOD!
205
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:19,620
- OH, YEAH.
206
00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:21,820
THIS IS HOW IT WAS DONE...
207
00:08:21,850 --> 00:08:23,890
BACK IN THE DAY.
208
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,890
WHEN THE BUSHES WERE BIG...
209
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,930
AND THE BOOBIES WAS REAL.
210
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,030
[knock at door]
211
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:32,260
- SHIT! SHIT!
212
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,930
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!
213
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,570
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!
214
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,770
SHIT.
215
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:46,540
[women moaning in background]
216
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:56,290
- HELLO!
217
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,320
- NOT TOO MUCH BOOB TUBE,
OKAY?
218
00:08:58,350 --> 00:09:00,660
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
RELAX, RELAX.
219
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,130
WE ONLY WATCH
WHAT'S EDUCATIONAL.
220
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,660
- UH-HUH.
221
00:09:03,690 --> 00:09:05,330
- LITTLE BABY EINSTEIN, PERHAPS.
WHO KNOWS.
222
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,830
MAYBE HE'LL EVEN
SAY SOMETHING.
223
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:08,100
[click]
[women moaning]
224
00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:11,940
- WHOA!
- JESUS CHRIST, CHARLIE!
225
00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:13,700
OH, MY GOD.
226
00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:15,840
I CAN'T TRUST YOU ALONE
WITH THIS KID FOR ONE SECOND.
227
00:09:15,870 --> 00:09:17,810
- YEAH, WELL, FEEL FREE
TO TAKE HIM WITH YOU
228
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,110
OUT ON DATE NIGHT, THEN.
229
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,110
- OH, LET'S NOT BE RASH, MARCY.
230
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:23,750
YOU KNOW, MY ASSISTANT HAD
TO WORK SOME SERIOUS MAGIC
231
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,920
FOR THESE REZZIES.
- BELIEVE ME.
232
00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:28,020
I NEED A BREAK
FROM ALL THINGS MOMMY.
233
00:09:28,050 --> 00:09:29,720
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
234
00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:31,860
SO THAT WHOLE HIRING SOMEONE
TO WATCH YOUR KID
235
00:09:31,890 --> 00:09:33,660
WHILE YOU
GO OUT ALL DAY SHOPPING
236
00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:36,260
AND HAVING YOUR TOES DONE THING
NOT WORKING FOR YA?
237
00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:38,290
- DIE YOUNG AND SUFFER,
DICKLESS.
238
00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:41,030
- REALLY KICKING IT BACK
OLD-SCHOOL WITH THE PORN THERE,
239
00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:43,300
HEY, RUNKLE?
- WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW,
240
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:45,940
I'M TRYING TO WEEN MYSELF OFF
THE HARDCORE STUFF.
241
00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:48,170
YEAH, I'M TRYING
TO REDISCOVER
242
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,740
THE SIMPLE PLEASURES OF
A MASTURBATING TEENAGER.
243
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:55,240
WHEN GIRLS WERE MAGICAL
CREATURES WHO DIDN'T GO ATM.
244
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,780
- UGH.
- WHAT?
245
00:09:57,810 --> 00:09:59,880
- ASS TO MOUTH.
246
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:00,950
- THAT'S DISGUSTING.
247
00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:03,050
- YET INTRIGUING.
248
00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,750
- DON'T GET ANY IDEAS, OKAY?
249
00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:06,960
YOU'RE WAY TOO BIG
FOR MOMMY'S CORNHOLE.
250
00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:09,330
- YEAH, THAT'S WHAT DADDY
LIKES TO HEAR.
251
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,260
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
252
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:14,230
- [laughs]
253
00:10:14,260 --> 00:10:15,800
[Stuart grunts]
254
00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:17,900
- HEY, HEY,
WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY?
255
00:10:17,930 --> 00:10:20,740
HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER, HUH?
256
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:23,010
WHERE'S MR. BLANKY?
both: WHAT?
257
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,910
- WHERE IS MR. BLANKY?
258
00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:27,040
both: YOU--
259
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,310
- DID YOU--
- YOU BROUGHT--
260
00:10:28,340 --> 00:10:32,750
- YOU PUT IT IN THE BACKPACK.
- OKAY.
261
00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:34,350
- YOU KNOW, THE TRAFFIC
IS REALLY TERRIBLE
262
00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:36,120
RIGHT NOW ON PCH.
263
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:39,060
I THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD JET.
- YEAH.
264
00:10:39,090 --> 00:10:40,920
SORRY, CHARLIE.
[Stuart whining]
265
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,460
- OKAY, BUDDY, YOU'RE OKAY.
- YOU WANTED WEEKDAY OVERNIGHTS.
266
00:10:42,490 --> 00:10:45,430
- YOU'RE A BIG BOY, RIGHT?
- MOMMY LOVES YOU!
267
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,400
- OH, NO.
OHHHHH!
268
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:51,200
OH, YOU'RE A BIG BOY.
YOU'RE A BIG BOY, OKAY.
269
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:54,070
OKAY, OKAY.
270
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:57,070
[hip-hop music]
271
00:10:57,110 --> 00:10:58,880
*
272
00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:00,380
- * LET'S GET IT POPPIN'
273
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,010
* COPPIN' [...]
I'M BLAZED AND ROCKIN' *
274
00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:03,810
* LOUD AND CRAZED
GOT THE CROWD AMAZED *
275
00:11:03,850 --> 00:11:05,450
* I'M SHOCKIN'
KNOCK 'EM FOR A LOOP *
276
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,820
* DROP MY LOOT ON SOME BOOZE
AND GET RETARDED MAN *
277
00:11:07,850 --> 00:11:10,050
- SHIT.
278
00:11:10,090 --> 00:11:11,960
I'M EXCITED TO READ
THIS SHIT, YO.
279
00:11:11,990 --> 00:11:14,060
- I'M EXCITED THAT YOU'RE
EXCITED, YO.
280
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,420
- [laughs] YOU'RE A FUNNY
MOTHERFUCKER, MOODY.
281
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:17,130
YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
282
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:21,830
- RIGHT BACK AT YOU, SAM.
MAY I CALL YOU SAM?
283
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:23,970
- CALL ME CALVIN.
MY MOMS CALL ME CALVIN.
284
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,870
- I'D BE HONORED.
285
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:29,340
- YOU SHOULD.
- I AM.
286
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:31,010
- ALL RIGHT, NIGGA.
287
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,840
I'M GONNA READ THIS SHIT.
- YOU DO THAT.
288
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,040
- NO, I MEAN RIGHT NOW, YO.
WAIT RIGHT HERE.
289
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,240
- NO, I CAN'T.
290
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,910
NO, NO, NO, I GOTTA RUN.
I GOTTA GO.
291
00:11:37,950 --> 00:11:39,520
- WHAT IF I GOTTA MAKE CHANGES
OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT?
292
00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:41,180
- YOU CAN EMAIL 'EM TO ME.
293
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:42,790
THAT WAY I CAN IGNORE IT
MORE EASILY.
294
00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:46,960
COME ON.
- YOU READY?
295
00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:48,460
- DAMN.
296
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,390
DAMN, MAMA, I GOTTA READ
THIS SCRIPT.
297
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:51,930
- BUT YOU SAID WE WERE
GOING OUT TONIGHT.
298
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,230
- I KNOW, I KNOW.
299
00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:55,330
I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU,
ALL RIGHT?
300
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,070
I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.
301
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,770
- WHATEVER.
302
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,470
- OH, MAN.
303
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,010
YO, IS IT ME, MAN?
304
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,970
OR IS SHE JUST HOT
BEYOND LOGIC AND REASON?
305
00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:07,080
- SHE BE FINE AS WINE.
306
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:09,280
- HEY, I TOLD YOU ABOUT--
- SORRY, I'M SORRY.
307
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:10,950
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
TAKE HER OUT, YOU KNOW?
308
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:11,980
YOU CAN READ
THE SCRIPT LATER.
309
00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:13,350
- LATER, FUCK NO, MAN.
310
00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:14,420
THAT'S MY MOTHERFUCKIN'
CAREER, MAN.
311
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,290
I TAKE THIS SHIT SERIOUS, MAN.
312
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,050
I'M GONNA SIT IN MY FAVORITE
CHAIR AND READ EVERY PAGE.
313
00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:19,460
EVEN THE PARTS I'M NOT IN.
314
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:22,130
PUT A PEN TO THIS BITCH,
CORRECT ALL THE TYPOS.
315
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,790
I HATE TYPOS.
THAT SHIT IS LAZY.
316
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,130
- YEAH.
I HATE TYPOS TOO.
317
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,300
- SHIT...
318
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,300
I DO LIKE WHEN A GIRL COME HOME
FROM A CLUB, THOUGH.
319
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,570
AFTER DANCING AND DRINKING,
320
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,900
THEY BE HOT AS A FUCK,
READY TO GO.
321
00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:36,210
WHAT TIME'S YOUR FLIGHT?
- UH, 11:40.
322
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,140
- WELL, THAT'S PLENTY TIME
TO TAKE KALI OUT FOR ME, MAN.
323
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,380
- NO, IT'S NOT PLENTY OF TIME.
- GET HER HOT FOR A NIGGA.
324
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:40,880
- NOT PLENTY AT ALL.
- COME ON, MAN.
325
00:12:40,910 --> 00:12:42,480
DO ME A SOLID.
TAKE ONE OF MY WHIPS.
326
00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:44,350
- THAT'S TEMPTING, WOULD THAT I
COULD, BUT I CAN'T.
327
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:45,550
MY HANDS ARE TIED.
- WHAT YOU GONNA DO,
328
00:12:45,580 --> 00:12:47,050
GO TO A FUCKING AIRPORT,
329
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,580
OR SPEND TIME
WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN?
330
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,190
- I'VE SPENT MANY A TIME
WITH MANY A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
331
00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:51,920
- SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
- I CAN'T DO IT.
332
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,020
I CAN'T, I CAN'T.
- THAT'S FUCKED UP, MAN.
333
00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:54,520
- I GOTTA RUN.
- LOOK, LOOK...
334
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:55,520
I DID YOU A SOLID WITH FUCKING
LITTLE ROMEO, RIGHT?
335
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,190
- AH, NO.
336
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,260
- PUT HIS FUCKIN' ASS
IN THE HOSPITAL FOR YOU.
337
00:12:58,290 --> 00:12:59,930
- I DID NOT ASK YOU FOR THAT.
338
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,200
- YEAH, BUT YOU NEEDED THAT.
I FELT WHAT YOU NEEDED.
339
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:02,970
THAT'S WHAT BROTHERS DO
FOR EACH OTHER.
340
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:07,970
THEY FEEL EACH OTHER.
FEEL ME.
341
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,910
- ALL RIGHT, A QUICK BITE, BUT
THAT'S IT.
342
00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,110
- HEY, THAT'S ALL I'M FUCKING
ASKING FOR.
343
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:13,110
NIGGA, WHAT?
SHIT...
344
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,340
- ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
- BUT YO.
345
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,410
KEEP YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' PAWS OFF
HER, MOODY.
346
00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:20,950
AND YOUR FUCKIN' PENIS.
347
00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:22,550
- ALL RIGHT.
- I'M SERIOUS, MAN.
348
00:13:22,590 --> 00:13:24,250
- I HEARD THAT.
- I'M SERIOUS, MAN.
349
00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:26,620
- NO, I HEARD THAT.
- YOU BE PLAYING TOO MUCH, YO.
350
00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:28,360
YOU GOT IT?
- COMMUNICATION DELIVERED.
351
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,990
- ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
352
00:13:30,030 --> 00:13:31,960
I GOT THIS FUCKIN' CADDY
WITH THE HYDRAULICS.
353
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,530
THIS SHIT'S GONNA BE LIKE,
"BONG-BONG!"
354
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:34,530
- BONG-BONG.
355
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,100
[Stuart crying]
356
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,570
- [crying]
357
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:50,150
[knocking]
358
00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:00,220
- I'M SO SORRY.
YOU MUST BE GOING NUTS.
359
00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:02,090
[sobbing]
360
00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,990
- CHARLIE, I CAN'T BREATHE.
361
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:05,590
I CAN'T BREATHE.
362
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:09,370
[crying continues]
363
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,170
[crying stops]
364
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,540
[meditative music]
365
00:14:18,570 --> 00:14:26,520
*
366
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:38,630
- HMM.
367
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:41,160
I'M SORRY, CAN I GET YOU
SOMETHING TO DRINK?
368
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,000
- NO, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO.
369
00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:44,400
- NO!
370
00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:47,040
NO, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE,
DON'T GO.
371
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:48,040
- [sighs]
372
00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:49,140
- PLEASE...
373
00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:52,180
- OKAY.
374
00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:55,710
[dance music]
375
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:57,510
* BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
376
00:14:57,550 --> 00:14:59,580
*
377
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,050
* I WANT YOU I WANT YOU
378
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,590
* I NEED YOU I NEED YOU
379
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:04,550
* GOTTA HAVE YOU
* GOTTA HAVE YOU
380
00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:06,720
* HAVE YOU
* HAVE YOU
381
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,460
* I WANT YOU
* I WANT YOU
382
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,590
* I NEED YOU
* I NEED YOU
383
00:15:10,630 --> 00:15:12,660
- YEAH, THIS NOT EXACTLY
WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
384
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:15,660
- I'M SURE, BUT WHATEVER YOU HAD
IN MIND IS SOMETHING I PROBABLY
385
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:18,470
COULDN'T STAND FOR LONGER
THAN FIVE MINUTES, SO...
386
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,340
THIS WILL HAVE TO DO.
387
00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:22,070
- YOU LIKE TORTURING
ME, DON'T YOU?
388
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,170
- I DO.
VERY MUCH SO.
389
00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:26,580
- HEY, DON'T DO THAT.
- DO WHAT?
390
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:28,210
- DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT
AND TALK LIKE THAT.
391
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,080
IT MAKES
MY WEINER FEEL WEIRD.
392
00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:33,180
- WELL, WE WOULDN'T WANT THAT,
NOW, WOULD WE?
393
00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:36,050
- [groans]
394
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,260
- WHAT WAS THAT?
- SELF PRESERVATION.
395
00:15:41,290 --> 00:15:43,630
I WAS WARNED NOT
TO PUT MY HANDS ON YOU.
396
00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:45,730
- WELL WHAT IF I WANT
YOUR HANDS ON ME?
397
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,460
- YOU'RE SHIT OUT OF LUCK.
THEY'RE GONE.
398
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:49,770
ARMS TOO.
BLOWN OFF IN THE WAR.
399
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,370
I'M NOTHING BUT A TORSO NOW.
400
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,770
OH YEAH, LAUGH.
LAUGH AT THE TORSO GUY.
401
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,670
YOU'RE A MEAN
AND VICIOUS WOMAN.
402
00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:57,610
- YOU KNOW HE DOESN'T OWN ME.
403
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,640
- YEAH?
WELL, BE THAT AS IT MAY,
404
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,250
HE DOES SEEM
LIKE THE JEALOUS TYPE.
405
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,680
- THAT IS ONE WAY
TO PUT IT.
406
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:09,150
HE ALMOST CHOPPED OFF ONE
OF HIS BODYGUARD'S FINGERS
407
00:16:09,190 --> 00:16:11,220
FOR LOOKING AT ME
IN AN IMPURE MANNER.
408
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:14,120
- LIKE THERE'S ANY OTHER WAY
TO LOOK AT YOU.
409
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,060
- OKAY.
410
00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:18,060
SO THAT'S WHEN I TELL YOU
DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.
411
00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:19,800
'CAUSE I MIGHT HAVE TO PUT HANDS
ON YOU.
412
00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:22,200
- MM-HMM.
- MM-HMM.
413
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:24,470
- SO HE'S CRAZY...
414
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,600
AND YOU'RE CRAZY BEAUTIFUL.
415
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:30,040
WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?
416
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:33,340
- WELL, HE DISCOVERED ME,
417
00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:35,110
AND HE SIGNED ME
TO HIS LABEL,
418
00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:37,180
AND HE'S PRODUCING MY ALBUM.
419
00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:39,720
- AND THAT'S IT?
420
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:42,590
- NO.
421
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:45,750
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE
EXCLUSIVE TO EACH OTHER.
422
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:48,420
- MM-HMM.
- MM-HMM.
423
00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:50,830
- I HONESTLY CAN'T EVEN COUNT
HOW MANY BABYMAMAS HE'S GOT.
424
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:52,730
- OH, THAT SOUNDS COMPLICATED.
425
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:57,800
I LIKE TO KEEP IT SIMPLE.
I ONLY HAVE THE ONE BABYMAMA.
426
00:16:57,830 --> 00:17:00,070
- YEAH.
YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THAT.
427
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,500
- MM-HMM.
428
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:02,840
- DANCE WITH ME.
- NO.
429
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:04,440
NO, NO, NO.
- COME ON.
430
00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:08,180
- NO.
HANKIE DON'T DANCE.
431
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:10,610
- HOLD MY PURSE.
432
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,380
- YOU'VE GOT A REALLY BEAUTIFUL
PLACE HERE, CHARLIE.
433
00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:15,850
- WELL, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.
434
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,450
- I'M JEALOUS.
435
00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:18,850
YOU SEEM LIKE YOU HAVE IT ALL
FIGURED IT OUT.
436
00:17:18,890 --> 00:17:22,590
- [laughs]
ARE YOU KIDDING?
437
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:24,190
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
ANYTHING.
438
00:17:24,230 --> 00:17:25,730
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
439
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,870
YOU'VE GOT THIS GREAT KID,
A SUCCESSFUL CAREER,
440
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,400
A WORKING AUTOMOBILE.
441
00:17:31,430 --> 00:17:33,340
- TRUE, TRUE AND TRUE.
442
00:17:33,370 --> 00:17:36,210
I ALSO HAVE A FAILED MARRIAGE,
443
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,880
A NUMBER OF TRULY HUMILIATING
CAREER TURNS,
444
00:17:39,910 --> 00:17:41,880
AND I HAVEN'T GOT AN OUNCE
OF LOVE IN MY LIFE.
445
00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:44,310
- HMM, JOIN THE CLUB.
446
00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:48,350
- COME ON.
A BEAUTIFUL GIRL LIKE YOU?
447
00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:50,220
I BET YOU HAVE YOUR PICK
OF THE LITTER.
448
00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:51,720
- OF CREEPS, YES.
449
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,820
ANY CREEP I WANT IS MINE
FOR THE TAKING.
450
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:56,230
IT'S HARD TO FIND A NICE
GUY IN L.A.,
451
00:17:56,260 --> 00:17:58,130
AND I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL.
452
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,360
- REALLY?
- HMM.
453
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,500
- YOU'RE INSANE.
454
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:04,500
- AND YOU'RE SWEET.
BUT I DON'T REALLY FIT THE MOLD.
455
00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:06,270
DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I REALLY
BELONG HERE.
456
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,770
I MEAN, I WANT TO WRITE
CHILDREN'S BOOKS,
457
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,810
NOT SCREENPLAYS.
- WAIT A SECOND.
458
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,470
DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE
WORKING YOUR WAY
459
00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:13,310
THROUGH COOKING SCHOOL?
460
00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:15,440
- YEAH, THAT'S THE OTHER THING.
I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND.
461
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,650
I WANT TO BE SOMEONE NEW EVERY
OTHER WEEK.
462
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:30,760
- YOU LIKE THAT?
TELL ME YOU LIKE IT.
463
00:18:30,790 --> 00:18:33,830
TELL ME YOU WANT CHARLIE'S DIRTY
FINGERS INSIDE YOUR PUDDING.
464
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:35,560
- NO, CHARLIE.
465
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,670
I WON'T TELL YOU THAT,
AND I DON'T LIKE IT.
466
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,400
- WHAT?
467
00:18:38,430 --> 00:18:41,500
- YOU KIND OF JUST FINGER
BLASTED ME OUT OF NOWHERE.
468
00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,240
- I KNOW, I KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
469
00:18:44,270 --> 00:18:45,670
- LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'VE
BEEN TALKING TO,
470
00:18:45,710 --> 00:18:47,810
OR WHAT KIND OF PORN
YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING,
471
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,850
BUT GIRLS IN THE REAL WORLD,
WE DON'T GO FROM KISSING
472
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,550
TO FINGER BANGING
IN A MATTER OF SECONDS.
473
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:54,650
- YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
474
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:59,420
I'VE BEEN WATCHING SO MUCH PORN
ON THE INTERNET LATELY.
475
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,760
AND I'VE BEEN SEEKING SO MUCH
SEXUAL GRATIFICATION,
476
00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:04,290
THAT IT'S LIKE I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO RELATE
477
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:05,590
TO REAL WOMEN ANYMORE.
478
00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:07,460
- CLEARLY.
479
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:10,800
- YEAH, IT'S AS IF GOING ATM
HAS BECOME DE RIGUEUR.
480
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:13,270
- UM...WHAT--
481
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:14,900
- ASS TO MOUTH.
482
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:16,970
- OH, THAT'S NOT GOOD.
- I KNOW.
483
00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:18,940
- NO, I MEAN YOU COULD GET
AN INFECTION.
484
00:19:18,970 --> 00:19:23,310
- I KNOW.
BEEN THERE.
485
00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:26,580
[dance music]
486
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:34,590
*
487
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:38,860
- OH, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
488
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,330
- HEY, WHO'S THIS CLOWN?
489
00:19:44,370 --> 00:19:45,870
- JUST SOME OLD GUY FROM EARLIER
WHO KEEPS HITTING ON ME.
490
00:19:45,900 --> 00:19:49,510
SAID HE'D GIVE ME $30
FOR A HAND JOB.
491
00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:51,570
- OH, ARE WE PLAYING THAT GAME
NOW, ARE WE?
492
00:19:51,610 --> 00:19:53,010
- YO, PAL...
493
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,980
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
TAKE A WALK SOMEWHERE?
494
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:57,550
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST KISS MY
TURD CUTTER, LITTLE LUMBERJACK?
495
00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:59,680
- OKAY.
SO WHAT'S UP?
496
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,480
- OH, NO.
- YOU WANNA GET HIT?
497
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,920
- YOU WANNA DRY THUMB
UP THE ASS?
498
00:20:03,950 --> 00:20:05,420
YOU HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT,
RIGHT?
499
00:20:05,450 --> 00:20:06,420
- YOU WANNA
JUST GET OUT OF HERE?
500
00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:07,520
- NO, NO, NO.
COME...
501
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:08,920
- GLADLY.
- NO, NO, NO.
502
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,690
- YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
- WHY NOT?
503
00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:12,500
- 'CAUSE I'M IN CHARGE OF
GETTING YOU HOME SAFELY.
504
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:13,830
- NO, I'M IN CHARGE OF GETTING
ME HOME SAFELY.
505
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:15,630
- NOW YOU'RE JUST
SPLITTING HAIRS.
506
00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:17,030
LITTLE HAIRS.
PUBIC HAIRS.
507
00:20:17,070 --> 00:20:18,570
- WELL THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
508
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,000
'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE
ANY PUBIC HAIRS.
509
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,670
- OH, COME ON.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?
510
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,770
WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE HAIR
DOWN THERE?
511
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:26,340
YOU KIDS TODAY WITH YOUR
SELF-LOATHING PUBE ABUSE.
512
00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:27,640
WHAT ABOUT YOU, BUSTER?
513
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,810
KEEP A CLEAN PLAYGROUND?
- WHAT THE FUCK?
514
00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:31,650
- IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION,
BROSEPHINE.
515
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,480
- BROSEPH--YEAH, YEAH,
OF COURSE, EVERYONE DOES.
516
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,790
- AH...
[coughs] HOMO.
517
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,390
- SAY WHAT?
- [laughs]
518
00:20:38,420 --> 00:20:40,390
- WHAT?
519
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:42,530
- YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE HAVING
BETTER SEX THAN YOUR PARENTS?
520
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,930
YOU THINK THAT YOUR FATHER LOVED
YOUR MOTHER'S BEAUTIFUL PUSSY
521
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,730
ANY LESS BECAUSE SHE HAD MORE
HAIR DOWN THERE?
522
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,400
- DON'T BE TALKING
ABOUT MY MOM'S PUSSY.
523
00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:50,030
- WHAT?
I SAID IT WAS BEAUTIFUL, MAN.
524
00:20:50,070 --> 00:20:51,870
- [groans]
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
525
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,970
- [groaning]
526
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,800
[indistinct chatter]
527
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,010
- WHOO! OH, SORRY.
[laughs]
528
00:21:04,650 --> 00:21:07,820
- NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT.
529
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:09,950
- I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE
THAT GUY A TITTY-TWISTER.
530
00:21:09,990 --> 00:21:12,390
- MM...
531
00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:15,490
THE TITTY-TWISTER IS FROWNED
UPON IN SOME CIRCLES,
532
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:19,760
BUT IT'S ACTUALLY A REMARKABLY
EFFECTIVE STREET-FIGHTING TOOL.
533
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,700
AND IT CAN DIFFUSE A POTENTIALLY
INCENDIARY SITUATION.
534
00:21:22,730 --> 00:21:24,030
AND IT PROVOKES LAUGHTER.
535
00:21:24,070 --> 00:21:25,670
YOU SEE THAT?
WHAT'D I TELL YOU?
536
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:29,070
- [laughs]
OH, GOSH.
537
00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:30,440
[sighs]
I'M HAVING FUN.
538
00:21:30,470 --> 00:21:31,740
- WELL, OF COURSE YOU ARE.
539
00:21:31,770 --> 00:21:33,640
I KNOW HOW TO SHOW A GIRL
A GOOD TIME.
540
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,610
A FEW DRINKS, SOME DANCING,
A LITTLE TITTY-TWISTING,
541
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,610
TOSS A FEW BURGERS
DOWN OUR THROAT.
542
00:21:37,650 --> 00:21:39,750
GET HER HOME BEFORE THIS
LOWRIDER TURNS BACK
543
00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:43,450
INTO A PUMPKIN.
BONG-BONG.
544
00:21:43,490 --> 00:21:46,760
- THIS IS AMAZING.
- THAT?
545
00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:49,730
BARGAIN BASEMENT PROMISE LAND?
- UM.
546
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:53,760
- SAY WHAT YOU WANT, BUT THIS IS
WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE.
547
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,600
- OR COME TO DIE.
WHERE YOU FROM?
548
00:21:57,630 --> 00:22:00,570
- BORN AND BRED
IN THE BRONX.
549
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,000
- THE BRONX.
- MM-HMM.
550
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,610
- WELL, THAT'S
AN AMAZING PLACE....
551
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,740
- YEAH.
- TO BE FROM.
552
00:22:05,770 --> 00:22:08,040
- WELL HOW MANY OF US MAKE IT
FROM THERE TO HERE?
553
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,850
- DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU DID.
554
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,450
- WE'LL SEE HOW LONG I LAST.
- I HEARD YOUR MUSIC.
555
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,590
I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
556
00:22:20,190 --> 00:22:22,890
- SO...
YOU LEAVE TONIGHT.
557
00:22:22,930 --> 00:22:24,890
- YES SIRREE MA'AM.
558
00:22:24,930 --> 00:22:26,660
- LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.
- MM-HMM.
559
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:28,800
- IF YOU'RE LEAVING TONIGHT,
LIKE, THIS VERY NIGHT...
560
00:22:28,830 --> 00:22:30,400
- YEAH.
561
00:22:30,430 --> 00:22:35,070
- WHAT'S THE HARM
IN A GOOD-BYE KISS?
562
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:37,510
- WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT
WAY, IT'S HARD TO SEE THE HARM.
563
00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:39,710
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
564
00:22:39,740 --> 00:22:45,180
- MAYBE JUST ONE.
- OH, YES. OF COURSE.
565
00:22:45,210 --> 00:22:48,180
[groovy music]
566
00:22:48,220 --> 00:22:56,160
*
567
00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:15,110
- [laughing]
568
00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:16,950
[gasps]
569
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,680
- WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOT TO SAY
FOR YOURSELF NOW, MOTHERFUCKER?
570
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,220
- UH...
- COME ON!
571
00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:25,520
- SANTA MONICA COP CANNOT
BE MY LAST CREDIT.
572
00:23:25,550 --> 00:23:28,690
- [laughs]
- OH, MY GOD.
573
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,530
- I'M JUST FUCKIN' WITH YOU,
MOODY.
574
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,030
- FUNNY HOW AT PEACE
I WAS WITH IT.
575
00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:35,730
- YEAH, WELL YOU SEEMED LIKE YOU
WERE REALLY RELAXED.
576
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,500
- WHAT'S UP, MAMA?
577
00:23:37,530 --> 00:23:39,070
- MAN, THE FUCKING SCRIPT
WAS OFF THE CHARTS, HOMIE.
578
00:23:39,100 --> 00:23:40,540
- YOU LIKE IT?
579
00:23:40,570 --> 00:23:42,070
- LIKE IT?
NIGGA, I LOVE IT, MAN.
580
00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:44,470
MADE ME ONE BAD-ASS
MOTHERFUCKER.
581
00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:46,040
I'LL BE ABLE TO WALK ON THAT SET
WITH CONFIDENCE, DUDE.
582
00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:48,810
MY DICK JUST SWINGING
EVERYWHERE, MAN.
583
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,180
THANK YOU, MOODY.
584
00:23:51,210 --> 00:23:53,050
- YOU'RE WELCOME, CALVIN.
585
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:54,920
- HE SHOW YOU
A GOOD TIME, MAMA?
586
00:23:54,950 --> 00:23:56,080
- YEAH, IT WAS ALL RIGHT.
587
00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:59,250
KIND OF LIMITED,
BORING WHITE GUY.
588
00:23:59,290 --> 00:24:02,020
- GUILTY AS CHARGED.
589
00:24:06,730 --> 00:24:07,730
- Y'ALL TWO MOTHERFUCKERS
KNOCKED BOOTS, MAN?
590
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,800
WHAT THE FUCK?
591
00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:09,970
- BABE, I MEAN HONESTLY,
COME ON.
592
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,270
I MEAN, THIS GUY?
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
593
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:12,770
- WELL, WAY
TO KNOCK A GUY
594
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,770
WHEN HE'S GOT A GUN
TO HIS THROAT.
595
00:24:16,810 --> 00:24:19,270
- [laughs]
596
00:24:19,310 --> 00:24:20,780
I'M JUST FUCKING
WITH YOU, BRO.
597
00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:22,210
I CAN'T STOP FUCKING WITH YOU,
MAN.
598
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,250
- HA HA HA.
- I'M IN CHARACTER.
599
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,580
- UNDERSTOOD.
600
00:24:26,620 --> 00:24:28,820
- YOU GOT A FLIGHT
TO CATCH, RIGHT?
601
00:24:28,850 --> 00:24:30,520
- MOS DEF.
602
00:24:30,550 --> 00:24:32,120
SORRY.
603
00:24:32,150 --> 00:24:34,720
I DO HAVE A FLIGHT TO CATCH.
604
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,160
- SAFE TRAVELS.
605
00:24:36,190 --> 00:24:37,990
- SEE YOU AROUND, HANK.
606
00:24:38,030 --> 00:24:40,130
- YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
WHOLE BECOMING A STAR THING.
607
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:41,960
- AH, THANK YOU, AND GOOD LUCK
WITH THAT WHOLE
608
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,730
KEEPING IT SIMPLE THING.
609
00:24:43,770 --> 00:24:46,200
- AH, SPEAKING OF WHICH, LOOK.
IT'S FROM THE BABYMAMA.
610
00:24:46,230 --> 00:24:48,040
- AH, SHIT, I GOT A LOT
OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS.
611
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,840
- YEAH, HOW MANY?
612
00:24:49,870 --> 00:24:51,070
- SHIT, I'M NOT SURE.
I GOT IT WRITTEN DOWN SOMEWHERE.
613
00:24:51,110 --> 00:24:55,610
- YES.
- HELLO.
614
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,250
- HEY.
615
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,920
- WHERE IS SHE?
616
00:24:59,950 --> 00:25:03,320
- SHE'S IN HER ROOM.
SHE WON'T COME OUT.
617
00:25:03,350 --> 00:25:07,160
I MEAN, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER
THIS UPSET SINCE...EVER.
618
00:25:07,190 --> 00:25:10,030
- YOU'RE BURYING THE LEAD.
- WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING.
619
00:25:10,060 --> 00:25:13,630
- THIS IS GOOD NEWS.
THEY BROKE UP. HE'S GONE.
620
00:25:13,660 --> 00:25:15,630
- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT GOING
TO BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE
621
00:25:15,660 --> 00:25:17,030
WHEN SHE'S THIS UPSET.
622
00:25:17,070 --> 00:25:19,270
HE WAS CHEATING ON HER, HANK.
623
00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:22,040
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
I'LL ALERT THE MEDIA.
624
00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:26,010
- NICE.
- WHY WOULD HE TELL HER THAT?
625
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:30,710
- I DON'T KNOW.
626
00:25:30,750 --> 00:25:32,650
THESE THINGS, THEY--
627
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:37,620
THEY HURT,
YOU KNOW?
628
00:25:37,650 --> 00:25:40,190
- I KNOW.
629
00:25:40,220 --> 00:25:42,790
[knocking]
630
00:25:42,830 --> 00:25:44,990
- CAN I COME IN OR ARE
VISITING HOURS OVER?
631
00:25:45,030 --> 00:25:49,000
- SHUT UP.
- THERE'S MY GIRL.
632
00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:53,200
- YOU CAN COME IN,
BUT YOU BETTER NOT GLOAT.
633
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,940
- GLOAT?
ME?
634
00:25:55,970 --> 00:25:57,870
NEVER.
635
00:25:57,910 --> 00:26:01,010
- PLEASE, YOU HATED HIM.
- YES, I DID.
636
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,850
BUT I HATE EVERYBODY.
637
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,780
AND YOU'VE GOT A TOUGH ROAD
AHEAD OF YOU.
638
00:26:04,810 --> 00:26:08,020
NOBODY'S GONNA BE GOOD ENOUGH
FOR MY LITTLE GIRL.
639
00:26:11,190 --> 00:26:13,060
- GUESS I FINALLY
UNDERSTAND WHY MOM
640
00:26:13,090 --> 00:26:15,690
PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT
FOR SO LONG.
641
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,960
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
642
00:26:18,990 --> 00:26:23,200
- HE'S AN ASSHOLE AND I HATE HIS
STINKING GUTS RIGHT NOW.
643
00:26:23,230 --> 00:26:26,970
BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT I DON'T LOVE HIM.
644
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:31,710
- YEAH.
I GET THAT.
645
00:26:31,740 --> 00:26:35,640
- AND HE WAS A GREAT LOVER.
646
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:40,250
- [gags]
THAT'S GROSS, HONEY.
647
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,720
- SORRY.
648
00:26:42,750 --> 00:26:44,990
THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO A
FRIEND FOR A MINUTE THERE.
649
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:47,260
- YEAH, NO, YOU ARE,
AND THAT'S A GREAT COMPLIMENT.
650
00:26:47,290 --> 00:26:51,290
BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE IT
ANY LESS GRODY.
651
00:26:51,330 --> 00:26:53,860
- HAVE TO HAND IT
TO THE GUY, THOUGH.
652
00:26:53,900 --> 00:26:56,330
HE WAS HONEST.
653
00:26:56,360 --> 00:27:00,900
- OKAY, THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?
654
00:27:00,940 --> 00:27:03,410
IN A TOTALLY SOUL-CRUSHING,
HEART-BREAKING
655
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,840
KIND OF WAY, SURE.
656
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,110
HE FESSED UP TO BEING
A LYING, CHEATING,
657
00:27:10,150 --> 00:27:12,680
SKULLDUGGEROUS
LITTLE MANWHORE.
658
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,390
- COME ON, LET'S GO.
659
00:27:21,420 --> 00:27:23,430
WE'LL GO TO THE CANALS.
WE'LL WALK ON THE CANALS.
660
00:27:23,460 --> 00:27:25,460
REMEMBER WE USED TO DO THE SHIT
OUT OF THAT WHEN YOU WERE A KID.
661
00:27:25,490 --> 00:27:27,330
IT'S LIKE PENICILLIN
FOR THE LOVELORN.
662
00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:30,370
COME ON.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
663
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,030
- DON'T YOU HAVE A PLANE
TO CATCH?
664
00:27:32,070 --> 00:27:34,400
- I CAN ALWAYS
GET ONE TOMORROW.
665
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,870
OR THE NEXT DAY,
OR THE NEXT DAY.
666
00:27:36,910 --> 00:27:39,170
THERE'S NO PLACE
I'D RATHER BE.
667
00:27:39,210 --> 00:27:45,180
- * THE OTHER END I'LL BE
WAITING THERE FOR YOU *
668
00:27:45,210 --> 00:27:47,850
* YOU ARE NOT ALONE
669
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,180
- I'M SORRY, SWEETIE.
670
00:27:49,220 --> 00:27:52,390
- * YOU ARE NOT ALONE
671
00:27:58,390 --> 00:28:02,060
* JUST REACH OUT YOUR HAND
672
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:05,070
* AND I WILL
PULL YOU THROUGH *
673
00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:11,040
* AT THE OTHER END
I'LL BE WAITING THERE FOR YOU *
674
00:28:11,070 --> 00:28:14,010
* YOU ARE NOT ALONE
675
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:18,210
* YOU ARE NOT ALONE
676
00:28:18,250 --> 00:28:21,980
* IF THERE'S ANYTHING
THAT I CAN DO *
48267
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