All language subtitles for Californication S05E02 The Way of the Fist

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:09,330 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,560 - IT'S YO AGENT, CALLING FROM THE COAST, 3 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,830 WITH THE PROSPECT OF A SIGNIFICANT PAYDAY. 4 00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:15,070 - I'LL TAKE IT. 5 00:00:16,170 --> 00:00:17,600 - [gasps] - OH, SHIT. 6 00:00:17,630 --> 00:00:18,800 MAN, WHAT ARE THE ODDS? 7 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:20,640 I END UP NEXT TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN 8 00:00:20,670 --> 00:00:25,140 IN THE TRI-STATE AREA, AND I GO AND SPILL A DRINK IN HER LAP. 9 00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:28,310 - GUESS WE SHOULDN'T RUIN IT BY KEEPING IN TOUCH OR ANYTHING. 10 00:00:28,350 --> 00:00:30,750 - ALAS, THIS ONE'S NOT YOUR LADY ANYMORE, HANK. 11 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,380 - HE'S LIKE YOU... - BATES. 12 00:00:32,420 --> 00:00:33,650 - BUT AWESOME. 13 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,520 - HOW'S BECCA? - BOYFRIEND. 14 00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:37,150 NOW, I WANT TO KILL HIM, HANK. 15 00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:38,220 - WE'RE KEEPING IT SIMPLE. 16 00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:39,790 I COME IN PEACE, OKAY? 17 00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:41,790 - THE KID'S A LOATHSOME FUCKIN' ASSHOLE. 18 00:00:41,830 --> 00:00:45,760 - GREAT SEEING YOU, DAD. ALWAYS A PLEASURE. 19 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,870 - HE WANTS HANK TO COME TO HIM. - WHO THE FUCK IS "HE"? 20 00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,570 - SAMURAI APOCALYPSE. 21 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,270 - I NEED YOUR WORDS. 22 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,170 WHAT THE FUCK ELSE YOU GONNA DO, WRITE ANOTHER BOOK? 23 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,770 FUCK THAT, LET'S GET PAID, MOTHERFUCKER. 24 00:00:56,810 --> 00:01:00,610 MOODY, THIS IS KALI. REMEMBER THIS NAME, KALI, YO. 25 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,890 [sexy rock music] 26 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:17,590 * 27 00:01:17,630 --> 00:01:19,230 - OH, MY WORD. 28 00:01:19,260 --> 00:01:22,600 I DON'T THINK THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 29 00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:24,300 - WHY? 30 00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:26,800 WAS I DOING SOMETHING WRONG? 31 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,310 - OH, NO, NO, NO. THAT WAS WORLD CLASS. 32 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:30,910 - [laughs] - SOME GIRLS ARE TIMID 33 00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:33,310 AND LACK FOCUS, BUT YOU, 34 00:01:33,340 --> 00:01:34,880 YOU SHOULD BE IN PORN. 35 00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:36,480 - HMM? 36 00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,680 - BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO BE. 37 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,320 YOU ARE NOT TAKING THIS IN THE SPIRIT IN WHICH IT WAS INTENDED. 38 00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:44,750 - MM-MMM. 39 00:01:44,790 --> 00:01:45,720 MMM. 40 00:01:48,530 --> 00:01:50,330 - ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN. 41 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,900 - NO, ALLOW ME, MOTHERFUCKER! 42 00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:53,600 - [screams] 43 00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:54,700 - DIE! 44 00:01:54,730 --> 00:01:56,500 DIE, MOTHERFUCKER! 45 00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:57,900 YAAAAH! 46 00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:02,640 - [grunts] 47 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:04,310 - WHOO! - [sighs] 48 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:07,180 CHARLIE, THANK GOD. 49 00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,810 [sighs] 50 00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:10,880 YOU WEREN'T JUST BLOWIN' ME RIGHT NOW, WERE YOU? 51 00:02:10,910 --> 00:02:13,780 - NO, SIRREE, I MOST CERTAINLY WAS NOT. 52 00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:16,590 - NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT? - NO. NO. 53 00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:18,890 YOUR MAGIC JOHNSON WAS NOWHERE NEAR MY ORAL CAVITY. 54 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,960 I DID JUST BEAT OFF IN THE SHOWER, THOUGH. 55 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:24,260 YEAH. I EVEN GOT A LITTLE CUM ON MY FOOT, RIGHT HERE. 56 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:27,400 DON'T WORRY, WASHED RIGHT OFF. 57 00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:30,370 - YOU ARE A FUCKIN' ANIMAL, YOU KNOW THAT? 58 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,870 GODDAMN L.A. 59 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:36,770 I ONLY HAVE DREAMS LIKE THIS WHEN I'M HERE. 60 00:02:36,810 --> 00:02:40,810 - HEY, NOW. YOU RELAX. 61 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,710 HAVE YOURSELF A CUP OF BLACK GOLD. 62 00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:44,250 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WE'LL DO? 63 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,620 WE WILL--WE WILL TAKE A WALK ALONG THE BEACH, 64 00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:50,890 WE'LL GAZE UPON SOME FOXY MALIBU HARD BODIES. 65 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,760 - FUCK THAT SHIT. 66 00:02:52,790 --> 00:02:56,330 CAN YOU GET ME ON A PLANE BACK TO NEW YORK TONIGHT, PLEASE? 67 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,390 - WHAT ABOUT SAMURAI APOCALYPSE? 68 00:02:57,430 --> 00:02:58,530 - WHAT ABOUT HIM? 69 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,960 - HE WANTS YOU, AND ONLY YOU. 70 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,770 HE LOVES YOUR BLACK ASS. 71 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,570 - WELL, IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE ONE'S BLACK ASS WANTED, 72 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,510 BUT I'M NOT SURE IF THE FEELINGS ARE RECIPROCATED. 73 00:03:09,540 --> 00:03:12,510 - WELL, THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO TELL HIM. 74 00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,810 - THAT'S YOUR JOB, AGENT. 75 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,480 - HE IS A VERY IMPORTANT CLIENT, HANK. 76 00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:19,950 THIS NEEDS TO BE FINESSED. - AND IF IT ISN'T? 77 00:03:19,980 --> 00:03:22,620 - THEN I WILL BE VERY UPSET WITH YOU. 78 00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:23,890 - [sighs] 79 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:27,860 AND WHAT WOULD THAT ENTAIL, EXACTLY? 80 00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:29,660 - I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY. - [laughs] 81 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:30,990 - BUT IT WILL PROBABLY INVOLVE 82 00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:32,860 NOT RETURNING YOUR CALLS IN A TIMELY MANNER. 83 00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:35,800 - [laughing] OH, NO. [cell phone tune] 84 00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:39,740 AW, FUCK. 85 00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:40,940 YO-LA. 86 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,970 - BECCA IS REALLY UPSET WITH YOU. 87 00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:45,810 - YEAH, THAT'S SORT OF A TRENDING TOPIC RIGHT NOW. 88 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,510 - I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD TRY AND MAKE IT UP TO HER 89 00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:48,980 BEFORE YOU LEAVE TOWN. 90 00:03:49,010 --> 00:03:51,520 - WHITE WOMAN, PLEASE. SHE'LL THANK ME LATER. 91 00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:53,380 - MAYBE, BUT YOU KNOW, IN THE MEANTIME, 92 00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:54,980 YOU COULD KISS AND MAKE NICE. 93 00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:55,990 [laughing] SHE'S YOUR ONLY DAUGHTER. 94 00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:56,990 - OH, THANK GOD. 95 00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:58,460 WHAT? - [laughs] 96 00:03:58,490 --> 00:03:59,790 - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' OVER THERE? 97 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:00,820 ARE YOU AND BATES PLAYIN' GRAB-ASS? 98 00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:02,330 - STOP. - WOMAN-- 99 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,330 - [laughing] STOP. - BE A PROFESSIONAL, 100 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,890 FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. 101 00:04:04,930 --> 00:04:09,030 DOES--D-D-DOES BECCA NEED AN IPAD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 102 00:04:09,070 --> 00:04:10,030 - WHAT? - BYE, HANK. 103 00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:11,600 - KA-- 104 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,040 CHARLIE, CAN YOU GET ME AN IPAD? 105 00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:15,870 - MOST CERTAINLY, IF YOU SIT DOWN WITH THE SAMURAI. 106 00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:18,510 - YOU'RE A REAL TWATTY FUCKIN' CUNT, YOU KNOW THAT? 107 00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:20,310 - TWAT? TWAT? I CUNT HEAR YOU. 108 00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,610 I'VE GOT AN EAR IN-FUCK-TION. 109 00:04:21,650 --> 00:04:22,850 I'LL FINGER IT OUT LATER. 110 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,450 - YOU STILL GOT SOME CUM ON YOUR FOOT. 111 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:25,950 MADE YOU LOOK. 112 00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:27,320 [mouth click] 113 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,890 [upbeat music] 114 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:41,870 * 115 00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:17,430 [hard rock music] 116 00:05:17,470 --> 00:05:25,410 * 117 00:05:30,510 --> 00:05:32,450 - OH, AH, AH, AH, AH. BECCA MOODY. 118 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:34,880 TA-DA! [whistles] 119 00:05:36,850 --> 00:05:37,990 - TA-DA. 120 00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:40,120 - OH, YOU HAVE ONE ALREADY? 121 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,790 - I'M NOT 12. YOU CAN'T BRIBE ME ANYMORE. 122 00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,490 WELL, YOU CAN, 123 00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:46,730 BUT YOU HAVE TO ADJUST FOR LIFESTYLE AND INFLATION. 124 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,030 - I AM NOT TRYIN' TO BRIBE YOU, SWEETIE. 125 00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:51,400 I'M JUST TRYIN' TO WEAKEN YOUR STEELY RESOLVE 126 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:52,600 TO HATE THE OLD MAN. 127 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,770 - I DON'T HATE YOU. 128 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,970 I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU DON'T TRUST ME, 129 00:05:57,010 --> 00:06:00,510 AND THAT YOU CAN'T PUT ASIDE ALL YOUR PETTY JUDGMENTAL BULLSHIT 130 00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:02,150 FOR THE DURATION OF ONE SIMPLE DINNER. 131 00:06:02,180 --> 00:06:04,650 - THAT'S FAIR. [sniffs] 132 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,180 BUT HE WAS KIND OF A TOOL. 133 00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:07,820 - THIS IS HOW YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY? 134 00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:09,490 - [sighs] YOU'RE RIGHT. 135 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,520 LET'S--LET'S SWITCH GEARS. - [laughs] 136 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,890 - WHAT? 137 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,590 - MMM. 138 00:06:17,060 --> 00:06:18,700 WHAT, YOU DON'T WANT TO MAN-POUND? 139 00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:21,430 - NOT REALLY. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY. 140 00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:23,000 - OKAY, FINE, BE THAT WAY, DUDE. 141 00:06:23,030 --> 00:06:25,130 - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? - I GO HERE. 142 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,800 - AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR COLLEGE? 143 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,940 WHAT ARE YOU, ON THE SIX-YEAR PLAN, STEPHEN HAWKING? 144 00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:30,710 - IT'S CALLED GRAD SCHOOL. I'M A T.A. 145 00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:32,180 - IT'S HOW WE MET. - MM-HMM. 146 00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:33,810 - HEY, THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES. 147 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,680 - DAD, DURING YOUR TENURE AS A COLLEGE PROFESSOR, 148 00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:37,080 YOU SLEPT WITH YOUR T.A., 149 00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:40,120 THE DEAN'S WIFE, AND ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS. 150 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,590 SHE WAS A STRIPPER, TOO. 151 00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:44,520 - WAY TO GO, HANK. UP HIGH. 152 00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:45,820 - IF YOU MUST KNOW, 153 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,120 THAT WAS A PARTICULARLY TOUGH TIME FOR ME. 154 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,830 I WAS NOT WELL. - MM-HMM. 155 00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:51,930 - [sniffs] AND I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES. 156 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,830 THIS IS NOT GOING AS I HAD HOPED. 157 00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:56,730 - IPAD 2? VERY NICE. 158 00:06:56,770 --> 00:06:57,970 - HE TRIED TO BRIBE ME WITH IT. 159 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,570 - YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE. - THAT SHE DOES. 160 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,710 - WELL, I DON'T ALREADY HAVE ONE. 161 00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:12,580 [gasps] WOW. 162 00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:13,980 THANKS, HANK. 163 00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:14,980 YOU'RE REALLY STARTIN' TO GROW ON ME. 164 00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:16,250 PINK, THOUGH? 165 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:18,190 IS THAT-- WHATEVER, I'LL TAKE IT. 166 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:19,620 - [laughs] 167 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:21,730 - MMM. [laughs] 168 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:25,600 - PUT MY DAUGHTER BACK ON THE GROUND, PLEASE. 169 00:07:25,630 --> 00:07:28,600 [rock music] 170 00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:34,600 * 171 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,510 FREDO, HOW'S IT HANGING? 172 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:40,280 - OH, QUITE LOW, SIR. 173 00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:42,110 IS THE MASTER EXPECTING YOU? 174 00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:43,880 - NO, THIS IS MORE OF A COLD CALL. 175 00:07:43,910 --> 00:07:46,720 - OH, DO PLEASE COME IN, SIR. - THANK YOU. 176 00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:58,530 HEY. 177 00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,960 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? 178 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,170 - I MIGHT ASK YOU THE VERY SAME QUESTION. 179 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,000 - IT'S COMPLICATED. 180 00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:05,600 - I'M GUESSING HE DOESN'T KNOW WE'RE MARRIED. 181 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,540 - [laughs] YOU'RE FUNNY. 182 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,040 - AND WE JUST MADE OUT... ON A PLANE. 183 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:12,880 WE WERE UP IN THE AIR. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 184 00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:15,140 - YOU KNOW, HE HAS GUNS, 185 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:18,550 AND SAMURAI SWORDS. 186 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,750 - I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT. 187 00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:22,050 - REALLY? 188 00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:24,290 - MM-HMM. YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? 189 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,620 THAT LITTLE HIGH SCHOOL MAKE OUT SESSION OF OURS, 190 00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:29,890 I CAN'T STOP THINKIN' ABOUT IT. 191 00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:30,890 YOU? 192 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,860 - NEVER. 193 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,830 EVER. - HMM. 194 00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:39,070 YOU HAVE EXTREMELY MOIST LIPS. THEY'RE LIKE KISSABLE CUPCAKES. 195 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,870 IT'S AS IF SPRINKLES AND CRUMBS GOT TOGETHER... 196 00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:42,670 - [laughs] - AND MADE SWEET LOVE 197 00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:48,610 AND HAD THESE DELICIOUS LITTLE SMOOCHABLE CUPCAKE BABIES. 198 00:08:48,650 --> 00:08:49,950 - HANK MOODY! 199 00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,880 'SUP, NIGGA? [laughs] 200 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:53,680 BETTER NOT BE HITTIN' ON MY GIRL. 201 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,320 - I'M NOT YOUR GIRL, CALVIN. - OOH, CALVIN? 202 00:08:56,350 --> 00:08:58,920 - JUST PLAYIN', BABY. WHAT YOU DOIN' HERE, MAN? 203 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,660 YOU SHOULD BE IN STARBUCKS WRITIN' ME SOME FUNNY SHIT, 204 00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:02,630 SOME FUNNY, QUOTABLE SHIT, TOO, NIGGA. 205 00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:05,260 - YEAH, UH, THAT'S THE THING. I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT. 206 00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:06,860 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, MAN? 207 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,700 WHAT, THEY AIN'T PAYIN' YOU ENOUGH? 208 00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:09,830 - NO, NO, IT-IT'S NOT THE MONEY. I JUST DON'T WANT TO. 209 00:09:09,870 --> 00:09:11,330 - WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK? 210 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:12,800 - NO, IT'S NOT 'CAUSE YOU'RE BLACK. 211 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,270 I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE BLACK. 212 00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,970 - WHAT, IT'S BECAUSE I GOT A WHITE BUTLER? 213 00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:17,310 - NO, I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU GOT A WHITE BUTLER. 214 00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:18,780 ALFRED IS AWESOME. 215 00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:20,180 - OH, THANK YOU, SIR. - RESPECT. 216 00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:21,810 - OH, THIS IS BECAUSE YOU HATE HIP-HOP, RIGHT? 217 00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:22,880 - NO! WELL, YEAH, I DO HATE HIP-HOP, 218 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,680 BUT THAT'S NOT WHY. 219 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:25,850 - OH, YOU'RE JUST MAD 'CAUSE I BE DEALIN' 220 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,280 WITH THAT CRAZY-ASS PUSSY, HUH? 221 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,920 - NO, I FUCKED ALL SORTS OF CRAZY PUSSY, TOO. 222 00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:31,290 - NIGGA, YOU DON'T BE FUCKIN' THE KINDA CRAZY PUSSY 223 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,260 I BE FUCKIN'. TELL HIM, ALFRED. 224 00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:35,760 - NIGGER, YOU DON'T BE FUCKIN' THE SAME KIND OF CRAZY PUSSY 225 00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:37,090 AS HE BE FUCKIN', SIR. 226 00:09:37,130 --> 00:09:39,800 - YOU'D BE SURPRISED, BOTH OF YOU. 227 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,830 - YEAH, RIGHT, LIKE THIS FINE-ASS BITCH RIGHT HERE. 228 00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:43,330 - WILL YOU STOP CALLIN' ME A FUCKIN' BITCH, PLEASE? 229 00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:45,130 - COME ON, MAMA, JUST PEACOCKIN', BABY. 230 00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:47,940 - SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. TRUE DAT. 231 00:09:47,970 --> 00:09:49,910 - WHAT'S WITH THE USE OF ALL THIS URBAN PATOIS, MAN? 232 00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:51,940 - HEY, IT'S THE A-B-Cs OF ME, BABY. 233 00:09:51,980 --> 00:09:53,340 - [scoffs] 234 00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:56,150 AW, FUCK. YO, I GOTTA BE SOMEWHERE, MAN. 235 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,710 COME WITH ME, YO. 236 00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,150 GIMME ONE DAY AND I'M GONNA SHOW YOU 237 00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,120 WHY YOU WANT TO BE IN THE APOCALYPSE BUSINESS, MAN. 238 00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:02,750 [school bell rings] 239 00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:03,990 - HE DID WHAT? 240 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,820 - ARE YOU GONNA MAKE HER REPEAT IT? 241 00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:07,390 - I NEED TO UNDERSTAND. 242 00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,230 - YOU'RE SAYING HE TOOK IT OUT. 243 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:10,790 - HE TOOK HIS PENIS OUT, 244 00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,100 AND HE WAS MASTURBATING IN FRONT OF AVA. 245 00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:14,700 - [laughs] - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 246 00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:17,270 MASTURBATING? - [laughing] POOR LITTLE AVA. 247 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,870 SHE'S SO CUTE, BUT SHE'S A LITTLE TWEAKED, THOUGH, RIGHT? 248 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:21,710 YOU GOTTA ADMIT. - YOU CAN'T EVEN CALL IT 249 00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:23,210 MASTURBATION, I MEAN, HE'S-- HE'S BARELY THREE. 250 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,440 - CAN YOU COVER THAT-- COVER IT UP. 251 00:10:24,470 --> 00:10:26,110 - WELL, HIS PENIS WAS FULLY ERECT, 252 00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:27,980 AND HE WAS MANIPULATING IT. 253 00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:29,880 - SOUNDS LIKE HE WAS EXPERIMENTING. 254 00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:32,250 OR MAYBE HE JUST INTENDED TO BE FUNNY. 255 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,150 YOU KNOW, BRING A LITTLE SUNSHINE INTO HER DAY. 256 00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:37,090 - I BLAME YOU, CHARLIE. LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON. 257 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,820 - OH, YEAH, RIGHT, THE DAY YOU-- 258 00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:40,420 - CHARLIE, MARCY, THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE 259 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:41,930 FOR THE BLAME GAME. 260 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,730 - HOW CAN WE REPAIR THIS? 261 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:45,900 - AVA'S MOTHER WAS HORRIFIED. 262 00:10:45,930 --> 00:10:47,460 - SURE. - OH, IT'S TERRIBLE. 263 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:49,100 - AND, SHE'S THREATENING TO PULL HER OUT OF SCHOOL. 264 00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:50,470 - [gasps] - THAT WOULD BE BAD. 265 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,070 - WE'D RATHER THAT NOT HAPPEN, SO... 266 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:54,140 PERHAPS AN APOLOGY. 267 00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:57,010 - HOW ABOUT A SIZABLE DONATION? 268 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,780 - WELL, THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL AS WELL. 269 00:10:58,810 --> 00:11:00,080 - DONE. - I'M SURE. 270 00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:01,140 - THANK YOU. - [mumbling] VERY HELPFUL. 271 00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:03,410 - NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME. 272 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,220 - GREAT. YOU WRITE THE CHECK. I'LL PRESS THE FLESH. 273 00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:10,220 - COME ON, WE HAVE THE NANNY INTERVIEWS. 274 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,450 - I KNOW, I KNOW. 275 00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:13,290 - WHAT HAPPENED TO IRMA? "I PUT PERFECT." 276 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,960 - MARCY GAVE HER THE AXE. 277 00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:16,290 - [blows air] - WHAT? 278 00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,330 - INVOLVE THE FATHER, MAYBE? 279 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,830 - ARE YOU GONNA BE PAYING THEIR SALARY? 280 00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:22,500 - NO, BUT SHE'S GONNA SPEND A LOT OF TIME AROUND MY SON, 281 00:11:22,530 --> 00:11:24,170 AND I SHOULD BE GIVEN MEANINGFUL CONSULTATION. 282 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,840 - FINE. FINE. WE'LL NARROW IT DOWN. 283 00:11:25,870 --> 00:11:27,140 WE'LL BRING YOU IN FOR CALL-BACKS, OKAY? 284 00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:29,870 - STUART! - RIGHT, I'M COMING. 285 00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:32,480 [RZA's 2 Left Shoes] 286 00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:34,380 * 287 00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:36,810 - * I LOVE MY NIGGAS TO DEATH DOWN TO THE LAST BREATH * 288 00:11:36,850 --> 00:11:39,220 * BUT THE LAST BREATH, I'MA SAVE FOR MYSELF * 289 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:42,490 WHAT THE FUCK? DON'T MESS WITH MY MUSIC, MAN. 290 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,020 THAT'S MY SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER. THAT'S ME. 291 00:11:44,050 --> 00:11:45,490 - ALL RIGHT, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? 292 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,260 THAT COULD BE RUN D.M.C., FOR ALL RIGHT I KNOW. 293 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,230 - MAN, YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT HIP-HOP, DO YOU? 294 00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:51,530 - NO, I'M MORE OF A CLASSIC ROCK GUY, YOU KNOW, 295 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,800 ZEPPELIN, THE WHO, ZEVON... 296 00:11:52,830 --> 00:11:54,230 - OH! 297 00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:56,300 - AIR SUPPLY. - OH, NO. 298 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,330 ALL THAT FUCKIN' DINOSAUR SHIT SOUND THE SAME TO ME. 299 00:11:58,370 --> 00:12:01,200 - SEE, THIS IS A REAL EBONY AND IVORY MOMENT HERE. 300 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:04,470 WE HATE EACH OTHER'S MUSIC, WHICH MAKES US DIFFERENT, 301 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:05,980 BUT KINDA THE SAME. 302 00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,510 - [scoffs] UH, HUH. - FEEL ME? 303 00:12:07,540 --> 00:12:09,850 - YEAH, I FEEL YOU. - WANT A MAN POUND? 304 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,280 - NO. - LITTLE DAP? 305 00:12:11,310 --> 00:12:12,920 - [laughs] - GONNA LEAVE ME HANGIN'? 306 00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:15,520 - HANG, MOTHERFUCKER. - OH, NOW THIS I LIKE. 307 00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:17,120 - OH, THAT'S KALI, MAN. 308 00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:19,560 FUCKIN' VOICE OF AN ANGEL. [kiss] 309 00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:22,390 - CHURCH. - I TELL YOU SOMETHING, MOODY. 310 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:24,530 I BEEN AROUND THE WORLD, MAN, I RAILED MANY BITCHES, MAN, 311 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,460 BUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE, SHE'S SOMETHIN' SPECIAL, MAN. 312 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:31,500 I THINK SHE GONNA BE A BIG STAR. 313 00:12:31,530 --> 00:12:34,000 - THIS CAR IS GIVIN' ME THE FUCKIN' CREEPS. 314 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,410 I FEEL LIKE WE'RE ABOUT TO ROLL INTO THE WARSAW GHETTO. 315 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,270 - OH, SHIT, I AIN'T NEVER BEEN THERE. 316 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:41,040 HOW THE FUCK IS THE FOOD? 317 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,910 - SCARCE. - [scoffs] 318 00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:45,410 - * JUST SO I CAN MAINTAIN 319 00:12:45,450 --> 00:12:47,350 * HE'S LIVIN' FOR HIS LIFE, AND IN TWO LEFT SHOES * 320 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,550 * LIVIN' FOR HIS LIFE, AND IN TWO LEFT SHOES * 321 00:12:50,590 --> 00:12:52,220 - WHAT ARE WE DOIN' HERE? 322 00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:56,390 - BIG HOLLYWOOD MEETIN', MAN. LOOK ALIVE. 323 00:12:56,430 --> 00:12:59,600 - PETE BERG. - HEY, HEY, SAM. 324 00:12:59,630 --> 00:13:01,430 SSS, SSS! 325 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:04,130 LOOKIN' GOOD, MAN. CONCRETE, CONCRETE, BABY. 326 00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:07,570 - HANK MOODY, WRITER/RAPIST. 327 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,370 - WHAT'S UP? 328 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:11,440 - HOW YOU DOIN'? GOOD TO MEET YOU. 329 00:13:11,470 --> 00:13:13,980 - UH, ACTUALLY I THINK WE KNOW SOME OF THE SAME PEOPLE. 330 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,010 IN FACT, I ACTUALLY THINK WE'VE BEEN 331 00:13:16,050 --> 00:13:18,450 INSIDE SOME OF THE SAME PEOPLE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. 332 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,020 - YEAH, I THINK I DO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, 333 00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,550 AND I THINK IT'S CREEPIN' ME OUT. 334 00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:24,020 - YEAH, WELL, UH, WE GOT A MEETIN', SO, SEE YA. 335 00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:25,250 - ALL RIGHT, COOL. I'LL BE AT THE BAR. 336 00:13:25,290 --> 00:13:27,220 - NO, NO. HOLD ON, WHOA, HOLD ON. 337 00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:29,090 NAH, HE'S WITH ME, YO. HE'S GONNA BE WRITIN' MY SHIT. 338 00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:30,360 - OH, COME ON. 339 00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,630 NO WAY, MAN. I MEAN, NO DISRESPECT. 340 00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:35,600 SAM, I JUST DID A SERIOUS REWRITE ON THE SCRIPT, I MEAN-- 341 00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:37,000 - YEAH, BUT THE SHIT AIN'T CRACKIN', MAN. 342 00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:38,170 I NEED MY SHIT TO CRACKLE, MAN. 343 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,170 WHAT'S THE CATCHPHRASE? 344 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,070 - CATCHPHRASE? UH... 345 00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,610 KILLIN' BAD GUYS IS MY BUSINESS, 346 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,440 AND BUSINESS IS FUCKIN' CRACKIN'. 347 00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,440 - KILLIN' BAD GUYS... - BAD GUYS IS MY...BUSINESS... 348 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:48,540 both: AND BUSINESS IS... - FUCKIN' CRACKIN'. 349 00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:49,910 - BUSINESS IS-- - NAH. 350 00:13:49,950 --> 00:13:51,110 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, MAN. 351 00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:53,120 - YOU KNOW WHAT? - ...CRACKIN'. 352 00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:55,580 - I'M GONNA GO DROP SOME HEAT. Y'ALL CHOP IT UP, A'IGHT? 353 00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:58,050 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN'? WHAT IS THIS? 354 00:13:58,090 --> 00:13:59,290 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 355 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,220 - WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY IN MY SHIT? 356 00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:03,190 - I DON'T WANT TO BE. I'M TRYIN' TO PASS. 357 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:04,460 THIS GUY WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 358 00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:07,460 - YOU ARE A MIDDLE-AGED WHITE GUY. 359 00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,470 WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BLACK CULTURE? 360 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,370 - ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN', BUT YOU'RE MAKIN' SANTA MONICA COP? 361 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,100 WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BLACK CULTURE? 362 00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:15,910 - THE CHARACTER WAS ORIGINALLY FROM COMPTON, GET IT? 363 00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:17,370 - [laughing] WHATEVER, DUDE. - YOU EVER BEEN TO COMPTON? 364 00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:18,940 - GO MAKE YOUR MOVIE. I'M NO THREAT TO YOU. 365 00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,080 - OH REALLY? YOU'RE NO THREAT TO ME? 366 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,080 YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? - YEAH. 367 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,950 - SURE? - GO. 368 00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,050 - WHAT ABOUT MICHELLE? 369 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,950 - MICHELLE? 370 00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:28,220 - GIRL YOU FUCKED WHILE I WAS STILL GOIN' OUT WITH HER. 371 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:30,150 - OH, OKAY. - OH, UH-HUH. 372 00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:32,520 - I--I'M SORRY, I HAD-- I HAD NO IDEA. 373 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,160 - YEAH, WELL, SHE FOUND OUT 374 00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:35,960 I WAS FUCKIN' AROUND ON HER A LITTLE BIT. 375 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:37,330 WE HAD A LITTLE FIGHT. - MM-HMM. 376 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,660 - SHE WENT TO A BAR IN VENICE. 377 00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:40,330 SHE MET YOU, SHE FUCKED YOU, 378 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,170 SHE TOLD ME ABOUT IT IN A FUCKING EMAIL. 379 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,530 A VERY DESCRIPTIVE FUCKING EMAIL, 380 00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:46,140 WHICH ACTUALLY I STILL HAVE. 381 00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:47,470 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO READ IT TO YOU? 382 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,240 - NO! I THINK THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. 383 00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:51,140 - YOU SURE? - WELL, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, 384 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:53,280 IT MIGHT BE KIND OF AN INTERESTING TIME CAPSULE FOR ME. 385 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,310 YOU KNOW, LIKE A STROLL DOWN MEMORY--NO, ACTUALLY, NO. 386 00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:56,950 DON'T, I'M GOOD. ALL RIGHT? 387 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,250 AND--AND AGAIN, I'M SORRY. - I LOVED HER. 388 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,180 I ACTUALLY THINK SHE WAS THE ONE. 389 00:15:01,220 --> 00:15:03,150 - THEN WHY WERE YOU CHEATIN' ON HER? 390 00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:05,250 - IT WAS GONNA BE THE LAST TIME, THAT'S WHY. 391 00:15:05,290 --> 00:15:06,590 IT WAS MY KINDA FINAL DALLIANCE. 392 00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,260 I WAS READY TO HANG IT UP. 393 00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:10,260 I MEAN, THAT'S HOW MUCH THIS GIRL MEANT TO ME. 394 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:13,260 SHE ACTUALLY MADE ME RECONSIDER ALL THE FUCKED UP SHIT I'D DONE 395 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:16,170 BEHIND HER BACK. 396 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,270 - I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, PETER. 397 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,340 - SHIT HAPPENS. 398 00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:22,270 - YEAH, WELL, SHIT HAPPENS. 399 00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:23,710 SHIT DOES, IN FACT, HAPPEN. 400 00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:25,270 WELL, HEY, MAYBE THAT'S YOUR CATCHPHRASE. 401 00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:26,640 BUT IT'S A-- IT'S A BLACK MOVIE, 402 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,140 SO MAYBE IT'S "SHIT BE HAPPENIN'." 403 00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,680 - OKAY, LET'S GO. - WHERE? 404 00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,980 - OUTSIDE. YOU AND I ARE GONNA SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN. 405 00:15:33,020 --> 00:15:34,680 LET'S GO. - WHY? 406 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,050 - FOR YEARS, I'VE BEEN TORMENTED BY THE IMAGE OF MY GIRL, 407 00:15:38,090 --> 00:15:40,060 THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY, GETTING BANGED OUT 408 00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:43,560 BY SOME SMUG FUCKIN' WRITER. 409 00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:45,590 TIME TO MAKE THIS RIGHT. 410 00:15:45,630 --> 00:15:47,630 LET'S GO. LET'S GO! 411 00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:50,000 - REALLY? YOU MADE A MOVIE ABOUT A BATTLESHIP? 412 00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:51,700 - COME ON. - MAN, JUST, 413 00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:53,500 THANKS FOR ASPEN EXTREME. - PUT YOUR SHIT OUT THERE. 414 00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:55,100 - WHAT THE FUCK Y'ALL CRACKERS UP TO OUT HERE, MAN? 415 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,570 - WHAT UP, PETE? - NAH, HE FUCKED 416 00:15:56,610 --> 00:15:58,710 ONE OF MY EX-GIRLS, WHEN I WAS STILL WITH HER. 417 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:00,580 - OH, COME ON. - MOODY, YOU A FUCKIN' DOG. 418 00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:02,480 RAPIN' AND PILLAGIN'? - I DIDN'T KNOW. 419 00:16:02,510 --> 00:16:04,710 - AW, MAN, I'LL KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER THAT TOUCH MY GIRL. 420 00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:05,780 GET HIM, BERG! - WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU-- 421 00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:07,250 - UH! - [laughing] OH! 422 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,550 [doorbell rings] 423 00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:12,460 - HI. - HI. 424 00:16:12,490 --> 00:16:13,490 AVA'S MOM. - [British accent] OH, NO, I'M-- 425 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,020 - I'M CHARLIE RUNKLE. 426 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,290 STUART'S DAD, WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE. 427 00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:19,160 - NO, I'M JUST THE NANNY, BUT COME IN. 428 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,560 - OH! OH, OH. 429 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:28,040 - THIS MUST BE AVA. 430 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,640 HELLO, AVA. 431 00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:32,080 - [screams] 432 00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:34,380 - AVA, DARLING, CALM DOWN. 433 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:35,780 WHY DON'T WE GO TO YOUR ROOM? 434 00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:37,380 - HELLO, MR. RUNKLE. 435 00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:39,620 - HELLO, MRS., UH-- 436 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:42,490 - CALL ME ALISON. - AND YOU CALL ME CHARLIE. 437 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,190 [door slams] UH, OKAY. 438 00:16:44,220 --> 00:16:47,660 I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY, IN PERSON, 439 00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:50,090 AND APOLOGIZE FOR MY SON'S BEHAVIOR. 440 00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:51,790 - YOUR SON'S DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR. 441 00:16:51,830 --> 00:16:54,530 AVA'S CRIED HERSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT SINCE THE INCIDENT. 442 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,430 - HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS BETTER? 443 00:16:57,470 --> 00:16:59,100 - YOU'RE AN AGENT, AREN'T YOU? 444 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,270 - THAT I AM. U.T.K. 445 00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,570 - YOU MUST KNOW MY HUSBAND, BRUCE. 446 00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:04,170 BUSINESS AFFAIRS AT WARNERS. 447 00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:08,240 - OH. UH, OF COURSE. TOUGH NEGOTIATOR. 448 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,780 BUT FAIR. ALWAYS FAIR. 449 00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:11,510 - BULLSHIT! 450 00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:14,380 HE'S AN ABUSIVE SOCIOPATH AND A CASUAL ALCOHOLIC. 451 00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:19,260 - I'M NOT THE BIGGEST FAN. - NEITHER AM I. 452 00:17:19,290 --> 00:17:22,790 - ACTUALLY, UH, HE'S KIND OF A BULLY, IN FACT. 453 00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:27,130 - YES, YES, HE IS, AND I HAVE THE SCARS TO PROVE IT. 454 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:31,670 - OKAY. UM, A PEACE OFFERING. 455 00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,640 WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND I 456 00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:36,440 DISCUSS THIS FURTHER OVER A GLASS OF SAUVIGNON BLANC? 457 00:17:36,470 --> 00:17:39,640 - I SHOULDN'T. BUT I WILL. 458 00:17:42,510 --> 00:17:45,110 - KARMA'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT? - IT'S NOT KARMA. 459 00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:48,220 IT'S JUST SHITTY FUCKIN' LUCK. 460 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:50,250 - THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S A GOOD DIRECTOR, TOO, MAN. 461 00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:52,290 HOPE YOU DIDN'T FUCK MY SHIT UP. 462 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,360 - I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW. 463 00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:56,690 I CARE ABOUT MY FUCKIN' EYE. - [laughs] 464 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:02,530 - [coughing] 465 00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:07,740 [slow hip-hop music] 466 00:18:07,770 --> 00:18:13,380 * 467 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:17,910 - * WHY WOULD YOU STRAND ME HERE * 468 00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:20,450 * STRAND ME HERE 469 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:24,250 * WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO BURN THAT BRIDGE * 470 00:18:24,290 --> 00:18:27,760 * WHY DID WE CLIMB 471 00:18:27,790 --> 00:18:30,360 * SO HIGH? 472 00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:33,860 - [sobs] - CRYIN' MOTHERFUCKER. 473 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,530 - NO, I AIN'T CRYIN'. SHUT THE FUCK UP! 474 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:36,600 - MY MAN, THIS NIGGA CRYIN', MAN. 475 00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:37,830 CHECK THIS SHIT-- 476 00:18:37,870 --> 00:18:39,840 [yelling and fighting] 477 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:40,840 [gunshot] 478 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,570 - WHOA! - OH! 479 00:18:42,610 --> 00:18:44,910 - * WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO BURN THAT BRIDGE * 480 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:46,210 - OFF ME, NIGGA! 481 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,350 - * WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? 482 00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:51,480 - OH! THIS MOTHERFUCKER SHOT ME, MAN! 483 00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:53,520 - HEY, LOOK WHO'S CRYIN' NOW. - [sobs] 484 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,680 - CHASE, TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER TO THE HOSPITAL, MAN. 485 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,250 - [crying] NO, MAN! 486 00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:59,690 [sobs] OH, SHIT. 487 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:04,460 I AIN'T GOT NO FUCKIN' MEDICAL! 488 00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:10,470 - * WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO BURN THAT BRIDGE? * 489 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:16,710 * 490 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:19,610 - WHAT DOES YOUR WIFE DO? 491 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,850 - SHE HAS SEX WITH A VERY RICH MOVIE PRODUCER NAMED STU BEGGS. 492 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,980 - MMM, OF COURSE. MARCY. - MM-HMM. 493 00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:28,280 - I SEE HER ALL THE TIME AT THE BAR METHOD. 494 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,550 - [chuckles] 495 00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:32,420 - I HAD SEX WITH STU BEGGS ONCE. 496 00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:33,820 YEAH, I WAS HIS DEVELOPMENT GIRL 497 00:19:33,860 --> 00:19:36,360 FOR A SHORT TIME IN THE MID-90s. 498 00:19:36,390 --> 00:19:38,490 HUGE PENIS. - YES, I'M WELL AWARE. 499 00:19:38,530 --> 00:19:42,230 - LIKE A BRATWURST. - OKAY. ENOUGH. 500 00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:43,870 - HE ASKED ME TO PEE ON HIM. 501 00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:46,700 - REALLY? 502 00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:47,700 DID YOU? 503 00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:49,470 - YES. 504 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:51,570 I HAD TO GO. SEEMED SILLY TO JUST SAY NO. 505 00:19:51,610 --> 00:19:53,610 - [laughing] MAKES SENSE. 506 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,510 - I DON'T WANT TO TAKE AVA OUT OF BROKEN ARROW. 507 00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:57,010 IT'S A GREAT SCHOOL, 508 00:19:57,050 --> 00:19:59,880 AND IT FUNNELS INTO ALL THE BEST ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS. 509 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,350 - THAT IS WHAT THEY SAY. 510 00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:04,420 [clears throat] SO... 511 00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,850 HOW DO WE FIX THIS? 512 00:20:05,890 --> 00:20:07,890 - WHAT MAKES BOYS WANT TO TAKE THEIR DICKS OUT 513 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,890 AND SHOW THEM TO GIRLS? 514 00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:13,730 - UH, I DON'T KNOW. PRIDE OF OWNERSHIP, MAYBE? 515 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,030 - ARE YOU GONNA TAKE YOURS OUT? 516 00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:18,000 - I'M SORRY? 517 00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:20,000 - DON'T YOU WANT TO SHOW ME YOURS? 518 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,610 - MY... 519 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:23,740 PENIS? 520 00:20:23,770 --> 00:20:25,740 - YOUR DICK. YOUR SAUSAGE. 521 00:20:25,770 --> 00:20:27,740 YOUR COCK, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. 522 00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:30,510 ARE YOU GONNA TAKE IT OUT AND MASTURBATE FOR ME? 523 00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:33,920 JUST LIKE YOUR SON DID IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER. 524 00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:37,950 - [laughs] 525 00:20:37,990 --> 00:20:39,660 WHY WOULD I DO THAT? 526 00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:40,990 - WHY NOT? 527 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,630 THAT'S RIGHT. 528 00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:53,300 TOUCH YOURSELF. 529 00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:54,700 - OH. 530 00:20:54,740 --> 00:20:56,710 - YOU FILTHY PIG. 531 00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:58,640 YOU PERVERT. 532 00:20:58,670 --> 00:21:00,410 WHY DO YOU WANT TO SHOW ME YOUR DICK? 533 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,310 THAT PATHETIC LITTLE EXCUSE FOR A PENIS. 534 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:04,580 IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR SON'S. 535 00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:06,780 DO YOU FUCK GROWN WOMEN WITH THAT THING? 536 00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:09,590 - [breathes hard] - ARE THEY EVER SATISFIED? 537 00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:11,390 HOW COULD THEY BE? 538 00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:13,590 WHAT'S IT LIKE... 539 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:17,760 TO HAVE THE DESIRE, BUT NOT THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB? 540 00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:18,990 - [breathes hard] 541 00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:22,000 - [gasps] - JESUS CHRIST, LIZZIE! 542 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,930 HOW ABOUT SOME FUCKING PRIVACY? 543 00:21:23,970 --> 00:21:25,530 - [gasps] - I'M SO SORRY. 544 00:21:25,570 --> 00:21:27,470 OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY! 545 00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:28,800 OH, MY GOD. - [panting] OH. 546 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,810 - CLEAN UP IN HERE, YOU PIG. 547 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,340 - [pants] [laughs] 548 00:21:47,420 --> 00:21:51,860 - [sobs] 549 00:21:57,130 --> 00:21:59,740 - HEY, ARE-- ARE YOU OKAY? 550 00:21:59,770 --> 00:22:01,740 - I JUST GOT FIRED. 551 00:22:01,770 --> 00:22:04,710 - OH, NO. OH, I'M SO SORRY. 552 00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,410 - DON'T BE. SHE WAS A NIGHTMARE TO WORK FOR. 553 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,380 - YEAH, I GOT THE FEELING. - [sniffs] 554 00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:14,650 - SHE HITS ON EVERYONE, YOU KNOW. 555 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,450 MESSENGERS, MAILMEN, GARDENERS. 556 00:22:17,490 --> 00:22:20,060 I WALKED IN ON HER AND THE DIRECTV GUY ONCE. 557 00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:22,060 SHE HAD HER FINGER UP HIS ASS. 558 00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,390 - [mimicking her accent] UP HIS ASS? 559 00:22:23,430 --> 00:22:25,890 - YEAH, SHE'S REALLY FUCKED UP. 560 00:22:25,930 --> 00:22:27,760 - I SHOULD SAY SO. 561 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,130 [closes car door] 562 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,070 HEY, ARE YOU LOOKIN' FOR A NEW GIG? 563 00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:34,670 - YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. I REALLY NEED THE MONEY... 564 00:22:34,700 --> 00:22:37,040 FOR COOKING SCHOOL. - AWESOME. 565 00:22:37,070 --> 00:22:38,670 PEOPLE LOVE FOOD. 566 00:22:38,710 --> 00:22:40,140 - YEAH. 567 00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:41,880 - WELL, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, 568 00:22:41,910 --> 00:22:45,510 MY EX-WIFE IS LOOKIN' FOR A NEW NANNY FOR OUR SON. 569 00:22:45,550 --> 00:22:48,950 - AND YOUR SON IS THE ONE WHO EXPOSED HIMSELF TO AVA. 570 00:22:48,980 --> 00:22:52,050 - YES. YES, BUT HE'S REALLY VERY SWEET. 571 00:22:52,090 --> 00:22:56,160 MY GUESS IS, HE MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT. 572 00:22:56,190 --> 00:22:57,590 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 573 00:22:57,630 --> 00:23:00,430 ANY INTEREST? 574 00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:02,160 - [sighs] THANK YOU. 575 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,210 [hip-hop music] 576 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:15,810 * 577 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,950 - SO LOOK, MAN, YOU HAD A CHANCE TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY WITH ME. 578 00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:21,450 KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SEE BEHIND THE CURTAIN. 579 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,920 SO WHAT'S THIS GONNA BE? 580 00:23:23,950 --> 00:23:28,590 - NO DISRESPECT, BUT I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO PASS. 581 00:23:28,620 --> 00:23:29,690 I GOTTA-- 582 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,900 WILL YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND? 583 00:23:40,670 --> 00:23:43,610 * 584 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:44,610 - HEY, TYLER. 585 00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:48,840 - HANK. [laughs] WHAT'S UP, MAN? 586 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,810 FANCY SEEING YOU AGAIN. 587 00:23:50,850 --> 00:23:52,850 THIS--THIS IS-- THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 588 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:53,980 THIS IS MY SISTER. 589 00:23:54,020 --> 00:23:55,580 - HOW'S BECCA? 590 00:23:55,620 --> 00:23:56,850 - SHE'S AT HOME WITH HER MOM. 591 00:23:56,890 --> 00:23:58,190 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO COME OUT TONIGHT. 592 00:23:58,220 --> 00:23:59,790 YOU KNOW, I REALLY DIG THAT ABOUT HER. 593 00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:01,190 - SHE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? - YEAH, OF COURSE. 594 00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:02,790 I WAS JUST TEXTING WITH HER. 595 00:24:02,830 --> 00:24:04,130 - DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT YOUR SISTER? 596 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,960 - OKAY, I-- I REALLY LIKE BECCA, OKAY, I DO, 597 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,130 BUT LIFE IS SHORT, MAN, YOU KNOW, AND JUST SOMETIMES, 598 00:24:10,170 --> 00:24:13,800 SOMETIMES SHIT HAPPENS. 599 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,570 - IS SHE AWARE OF HOW LOOSE THIS ARRANGEMENT IS? 600 00:24:16,610 --> 00:24:18,070 - I DON'T KNOW, HANK. 601 00:24:18,110 --> 00:24:22,110 WE'RE JUST SORTA TAKIN' IT DAY BY DAY. 602 00:24:22,140 --> 00:24:24,080 SHIT. YOU GOT THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE, 603 00:24:24,110 --> 00:24:25,180 LIKE YOU WANT TO HIT ME. 604 00:24:25,210 --> 00:24:27,020 FEEL FREE... 605 00:24:27,050 --> 00:24:29,690 IF YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO HATE YOU FOR LIFE. 606 00:24:32,050 --> 00:24:35,060 GOTCHA! [laughs] 607 00:24:35,090 --> 00:24:37,190 LOOK, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO DISCUSS? 608 00:24:37,230 --> 00:24:38,890 NO? OKAY, COOL. 609 00:24:38,930 --> 00:24:39,900 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. 610 00:24:39,930 --> 00:24:41,860 [laughs] 611 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,730 HEY, SIS. [chuckles] 612 00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:51,140 - WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 613 00:24:51,170 --> 00:24:55,680 - SOME GUY MY DAUGHTER'S SEEING DOESN'T SEEM ENTIRELY FAITHFUL. 614 00:24:55,710 --> 00:24:57,080 I THINK HE'S GONNA BREAK HER HEART. 615 00:24:57,110 --> 00:24:58,980 - MAYBE WE SHOULD BREAK HIS LEGS FIRST. 616 00:24:59,010 --> 00:25:00,780 - THAT WAS MY FIRST IMPULSE, 617 00:25:00,820 --> 00:25:03,590 BUT IF I DO THAT, THEN SHE'S GONNA HATE ME FOREVER. 618 00:25:03,620 --> 00:25:05,720 I HAVE A HISTORY OF DOING THE WELL-INTENTIONED WRONG THING 619 00:25:05,750 --> 00:25:07,020 WHEN IT COMES TO HER. 620 00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:10,060 - SO MOODY'S A GOOD FATHER, HUH? 621 00:25:10,090 --> 00:25:12,060 I LIKE THAT IN A BROTHER. 622 00:25:12,090 --> 00:25:14,060 - ME TOO. 623 00:25:20,970 --> 00:25:23,210 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA-- I'M GONNA TAKE OFF. 624 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,040 PEACE. 625 00:25:25,070 --> 00:25:26,140 - PEACE OUT, NIGGA. 626 00:25:26,170 --> 00:25:28,910 - GOOD LUCK ON YOUR PROJECT. 627 00:25:40,660 --> 00:25:42,160 - JUST SO YOU KNOW, 628 00:25:42,190 --> 00:25:45,130 YOU'RE WELL-REPRESENTED IN THIS BATTLE OF THE EXES. 629 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,700 I GOT YOUR BACK, RAPIST. 630 00:25:46,730 --> 00:25:49,300 - MUCHO APPRECIATO, BATESY. 631 00:25:49,330 --> 00:25:51,730 LADIES. - OH, MY GOD. 632 00:25:51,770 --> 00:25:53,240 YOU'VE BEEN IN TOWN FOR TWO DAYS, 633 00:25:53,270 --> 00:25:55,070 AND YOU HAVE A BLACK EYE ALREADY. 634 00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:56,300 - APPARENTLY, I HAD IT COMIN'. 635 00:25:56,340 --> 00:25:59,110 - REALLY? SHOCKER. 636 00:25:59,140 --> 00:26:01,910 - BECCA, CAN I SPEAK WITH YOU A MOMENT? 637 00:26:01,940 --> 00:26:05,880 - NO. 638 00:26:05,910 --> 00:26:09,650 - [whispering] GO AND SPEAK WITH HIM. 639 00:26:12,390 --> 00:26:15,390 - I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY, YOU KNOW? 640 00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:16,990 IT'S NOT RIGHT OF ME TO SWOOP IN HERE 641 00:26:17,030 --> 00:26:18,660 AND GIVE YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT YOUR LIFE. 642 00:26:18,690 --> 00:26:20,860 BUT YOU HAVE TO KNOW IT COMES FROM A GOOD PLACE. 643 00:26:20,900 --> 00:26:22,260 YOU KNOW, A PLACE OF WANTING TO PROTECT YOU 644 00:26:22,300 --> 00:26:23,700 FROM ALL THE BAD SHIT THAT'S OUT THERE. 645 00:26:23,730 --> 00:26:26,370 I KNOW WHAT GUYS ARE LIKE. 646 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,740 [laughs] I'VE BEEN THAT GUY. 647 00:26:30,770 --> 00:26:32,210 I AM THAT GUY, 648 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,840 SOMETIMES. 649 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,750 IT'S JUST SO HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE 650 00:26:36,780 --> 00:26:39,280 BETWEEN THOSE THAT HAVE A GOOD HEART 651 00:26:39,310 --> 00:26:41,320 AND THE ONES THAT ARE JUST OUT THERE TO WIN. 652 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:44,790 - HE'S A GOOD GUY, DAD. I KNOW IT. 653 00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:49,220 I KNOW IT LIKE I KNOW YOU'RE A GOOD GUY, DEEP DOWN. 654 00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:56,160 [cell phone tune] 655 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,070 SPEAK OF THE HANDSOME DEVIL. 656 00:26:58,100 --> 00:26:59,070 - [laughs] 657 00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:00,400 - HOLD ON A SEC, DAD. 658 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:05,210 HELLO. 659 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,380 - YOU DID GOOD. IT'LL BE OKAY. 660 00:27:09,410 --> 00:27:13,050 - YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 661 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,220 - CAN SOMEONE TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL? 662 00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:15,950 - WHY? WHAT'S HAPPENED? 663 00:27:15,980 --> 00:27:17,350 - TYLER WAS LEAVING SOME CLUB IN HOLLYWOOD, 664 00:27:17,390 --> 00:27:19,090 AND HE GOT JUMPED BY A BUNCH OF GANGBANGERS. 665 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:21,390 THEY BEAT HIM UP PRETTY BAD. HE'S AT CEDARS. 666 00:27:21,420 --> 00:27:23,190 - SWEETIE, I'M SO SORRY. OF COURSE, COME ON. 667 00:27:23,230 --> 00:27:24,730 LET'S GO. 668 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,960 UM, HAVE YOU GOT THE KEYS? - YEAH, YEAH. 669 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,700 SOUNDS LIKE THE LITTLE TURD-FONDLER 670 00:27:29,730 --> 00:27:32,940 FINALLY PISSED OFF THE WRONG GUY. 671 00:27:32,970 --> 00:27:35,200 - * OLD MAN, TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE I'M A LOT LIKE YOU * 672 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,270 [cell phone tone] 673 00:27:37,310 --> 00:27:40,980 * I NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE ME 674 00:27:41,010 --> 00:27:44,810 * THE WHOLE DAY THROUGH 675 00:27:44,850 --> 00:27:50,090 * AND ONE LOOK IN MY EYES AND YOU CAN TELL THAT'S TRUE * 676 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:57,730 * 677 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,330 * OLD MAN, LOOK AT MY LIFE 678 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:04,400 * I'M A LOT LIKE YOU WERE 679 00:28:04,430 --> 00:28:08,200 * 680 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:14,110 * OLD MAN, TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE, I'M A LOT LIKE YOU * 681 00:28:14,140 --> 00:28:19,780 * I NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE ME THE WHOLE DAY THROUGH * 682 00:28:19,820 --> 00:28:22,020 * AND ONE LOOK IN MY EYES 683 00:28:22,050 --> 00:28:25,890 * AND YOU CAN TELL THAT'S TRUE 684 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:31,860 * 49399

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