All language subtitles for 50thousandBC

This is suburbia, you say.

Land of happy home.

Birthplace of togetherness.

Here is the last bastion of individual
crowded tenements. The asphalt jungle.

The invigorating air.

Wide open spaces where a man can
breathe, feel alive.

Where a man is able to assert himself
again.

Yes, a kiln.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

You little runt. You pipsqueak. You
coward.

Hot doggy, dear?

That's what I mean.

Have you any guts?

Yes, and I don't want them spread all
over the floor.

You're not a man. You're a mouse.

You're right.

I was a fool to marry you. A fool.
You're definitely right.

Did you call me a fool? No, dear. You
did.

Why, if any woman talked to me the way I
talk to you, know what I'd give her?

One lump or two.

That's what I mean.

We have this place at the pigsty.

Yes, my pig. I mean my beer.

Bad as things are, we're a lot better
off than we used to be.

Thanks to me.

These were not in burlesque any longer.

And who can you thank for that?

You, my queenie. The job you've got for
me in the city. Then get going, stupid,

and don't be late.

Don't forget, honey, we've got to go to
the ball tonight.

Ball? Yes, honey, the sanitation ball.

You mean you're going.

Now, honey, you know I... By yourself.

And Charles, don't you come in here
drunk again.

You have one drink, you hear me? Just
one.

That's all.

Can I have it out of a tall glass?

And Charles, don't you bring that dirty
hound back in this house.

I told you, honey, I got rid of that dog
over a week ago.

Yes, I know. But see that you don't try
to sneak it back in here.

Because you'll never get away with it,
your eye. I can see through you like a

pane of glass.

Yeah, I know.

Which reminds me, I've got to get a new
beach ball.

Hello, Herman.

I say hello.

Herman.

Taxi. Net, net.

Net taxi now.

I am of duty.

Ah, Charlie.

Hi.

You scared me, you know.

I did.

I thought it was a fair.

Fair? Are you kidding? I've seen you out
here with this cab for years, and I

haven't seen you take one fare yet.

Oh, Charlie, but you know how it is.

I'm not really a taxi driver.

Oh, you're not?

No. Well, what are you?

I'm a genius.

A genius?

Genius. The greatest.

The world's greatest inventor.

Yeah? Yeah, me.

What did you invent? You know, taxi
business is just my cover-up.

The taxi's, uh, my, my, my behind.

Yeah. You mean your front. Front. As
long, nobody

knows what I am up to.

What are you working on now?

What's your top secret?

Charlie, now I explain.

Only you got to be sworn to secrecy.
Scouts honored.

You mustn't reveal it, even under
torture.

Okay. Charlie.

It is a time machine.

Time machine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Time
machine? You're out of your mind. It

can't be done.

Einstein said it couldn't be done.
Newton and even Edison.

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Da, da, da.

But... Vladimir Vladimirovich Voronov
says it was possible.

Who is Vladimir?

Listen,

Charlie. So, now I explain.

You know the law of physics, what says?

Go to the bathroom.

That's your law, number 13A.

And imagine it, Charlie.

You get into this machine and speed
along so fast.

that pretty soon you are back with
Cleopatra lying on her barge, surrounded

by a thousand of naked girls.

For that, cannibals, cannibals, pass the
Alps with his, yeah,

cross the Alps with his elephants. The
Napoleon...

marching band from Moscow.

Sure. But I don't care about Napoleon,
cannibals, Hannibals. Get me back to

Cleopatra and the Naked Women.

Ah, wouldn't that be wonderful?

Can you imagine a man being able to just
pack his toothpaste and his toothbrush

and move away from everything?

He moves away from his wife, his
trouble, everything.

That, that's the ticket.

And that's what I'm gonna do for the
whole world.

Yeah? Yeah, for the world.

Help everybody to get out of it.

Yeah. That's wonderful.

And, Charlie, when I get this thing
working, you're going to be the

first passenger.

Oh, sure. Passenger.

Sure, my pal.

Sure. Thanks, Charlie.

Now, back to the old drawing board.

Hey, Professor.

Stop it. We have a very important
message from our sponsor.

Okay, Professor, go ahead.

Bye.

Well, there's no supervisor around.
Anyway, Napoleon, we might as well have

our lunch.

Come on.

You don't mind if I have any, do you?

You just don't care.

Not

bad.

Arlen, you want to know something?

Maybe Ethel was right.

After all, she did give me this
wonderful job working for the city.

She did take me out of those
smoke-filled theaters.

Don't you agree, Napoleon?

And Burlesque?

Nothing. Now, who am I kidding?

You know, Napoleon Burlesque was the
most wonderful thing that ever happened.

And I was never happier in all my life.

Come to think of it, I can think right
now that...

The beautiful sketch of the courtroom
scene.

You see, a beautiful woman was accused
of killing her husband.

And I played the part of the policeman
who was the first one to be on the scene

of the crime.

And, Your Honor, I saw Mrs. Zell
standing over the body of her dead

husband with a smoking gun in her hand.
Okay, sit down.

All right, Mr. Defense Counsel, you may
examine the witness.

Now then, Officer Dumpkoff.

Schwarzkopf. S-C-H-A... Oh, yeah,
Schwarzkopf.

Tell me, Officer.

How did you know Mr. Zilch was dead? I
felt his pulse.

And? There wasn't any. Aha!

If there wasn't any pulse, then you
couldn't feel it.

How's that?

Perfectly simple, Dumpkoff.

Schwarzkopf. S-C-H-A... If there wasn't
any pulse, then you couldn't feel it.

And if you didn't feel his pulse, then
you don't actually know he was dead.

Step down.

He looked dead.

He didn't say anything.

Hey, maybe he was bashful.

All right, cut out this falderal.

Bring Mrs. Zilch to the stand.

Send in Mrs. Zilch, please.

Ten years hard labor.

I can do that standing on me head.
Twenty years, and I'll get you back on

your feet.

Mrs. Zilch, is it true that on the night
of June 26th, you deliberately and with

malice of forethought shot the deceased
Bertram Zilch to death?

Would you mind repeating that question?

Please, restate the question.

Let's put it this way. Did you go bang,
bang?

I had your poor little girl.

That's enough of this browbeating.

Don't you realize this poor woman
recently was widowed?

I've had enough of this.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have
you reached the verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

What's the verdict?

Our verdict is guilty.

What? You found this poor woman guilty?

Oh, no, not her, Your Honor. Officer
Dumkoff.

Not Dumkoff.

Schwarzkopf. S-C-H-W-A-R-T-Z-K

-O-P-F.

Schwarzkopf. Pretty funny, huh? Now, let
me tell you about the honeymoon scene.

Undoubtedly the funniest scene I ever
did in my life. Now, you see, my wife-to

-be and I, we were just married, and my
wife was carrying me across the

threshold.

Ah, here we are, honey.

Married at last.

Yes. You want to leave me down, dear?

You're going to bruise me half.

No. Check me now.

Well, darling, we had a long trip.

Come on, sweetheart, you want to change
clothes?

Yes.

I've waited long enough for this,
though.

You're doggone right, Jack. Well, I
promised to marry you. Kept my word.

I didn't think you were waiting too
long, did I?

Only 22 years. 22 years, so what? You
were only a little baby one year old,

right? Go ahead, dear. Stay close, and
I'll see you later, huh?

Oh, sweetheart, I love you, dear.

I love you.

And when I put my arms around you, I get
a feeling that makes me feel when I get

that feeling.

I got too much feeling, honey.

How's everything going, dear?

Fine. Yeah?

Out in a minute.

Out in a minute, yes, sirree.

Out in a minute, she says.

Here I am. Oh, darling, you look
absolutely beautiful.

And I do love you, my dear.

I love you, too. I know you do, darling.
I think I'll change clothes, huh?

Yeah. You know, oh, baby doll, I'm going
to change clothes.

I'm going to change clothes.

Sexy, huh?

Okay.

Now, who can that be? Yes?

Hey, mister, want to buy a dog?

Now, what do I want with the dog?

Well, he'd make a good friend for you.
Who needs a friend?

Well, maybe you can use an enemy?

Come on, get out of here.

Come to bed, darling.

Come to bed?

All right.

Yes?

Yes, sir. Could I interest you in some
life insurance?

I don't think I'll live till morning.
Well, then how about some health

insurance? Who needs health if I'm going
to die tonight?

Well, then you must need some accident
insurance.

You're right.

I think you're going to have an
accident. Get out of here.

Will you come to bed, darling?

Not again. Yes.

Sir, I should like to show you our book
on birth control.

Birth control?

Now, what do I want with birth control?
I just got married.

Precisely why you should know all these
facts.

For example, did you know that for every
man who dies, five children are born?

Five? Five.

Excuse me, pal.

Oh, finally.

Ha-ha.

Baby. I just made room for five more
kids.

You get it?

Five little ones.

Oh,

well, you wouldn't understand, anyhow.

I might as well.

How do you like that?

I had a sandwich in here I didn't know
anything about. Well, I'll save that for

later. That's what I'll do. Oh, well, I
might as well go back to work.

Oh, man.

to me.

Yes, my little butterfly.

That's fine.

And remember, Charlie, one drink, that's
all you have tonight.

Look at that. Five o'clock.

I forgot all about it. I'm going to be
late for the ball.

Matter of fact, I didn't even get my
dressing yet.

I'd better get out of here. And now.

Yes? Did you come here by
recommendation?

No, by push.

Oh, my, what a big one.

You like that, huh?

Here's a nice suit for you.

Twenty-four dollars only.

And you can keep the hanger.

Never mind the hanger. I'm looking for a
certain color.

Is it?

That's a pleasure suit.

Any call you want is in it. No, you
don't understand.

I want a tuxedo.

Let me measure you.

What am I, a horse?

Measure you?

Here, this is your size. Try it on.

All right.

I'll try it on.

How do you look?

How do I look?

It isn't too tight. Is it? Are you
kidding?

What happens if I get my nose caught in
the zipper?

Don't worry. If that happens, we will
replace the zipper with a new one.

Salute!

What do you do?

I think I'm catching cold.

I'm going to stay indoors.

Take it off. Take it off. Take it off.
Take it off. All right.

Hey, Paisan, where's the towel? All the
time I try to get... Hey, this is not

bad. But it's a little too big.

It will fit like a glove.

I have something special for you.

Yeah, well, what's that?

Ah, this hat.

It used to belong to one of our...

You know, that hat looks familiar to me.

Oh, sure. You see?

You've become friends already.

No, no. I mean, I think I've seen it
someplace.

Oh, nonsense.

This hat belongs to our family since
right after the Civil War.

Yeah, I think it was in the Civil War
and got a purple heart.

Ridiculous. The last owner was a public
servant and a man of very white habits.

Oh, very cultured, too. He died while
attending the theater.

Hey. I think there's something in it.

Looks like a document.

That's an odd thing. It must be an old
across the list.

Looks like a document of some kind.

Four score and seven years ago. Never
mind, never mind.

Hey, you know something?

This is the silliest looking hat I ever
saw in my life.

Gentlemen, the hat recently manufactured
by you and delivered to us is

unsatisfactory for our purposes.

It behaves in an utmost peculiar fashion
when worn close to the southern

battlefront. or when exposed to a few
bars of the Confederate song of Beth

Dixie. The hat is being returned to you
under separate cover, signed the

Secretary of War.

No, no, no, no, please, please, please.

What

happened

to the hat?

Listen,

listen, compadre. If I were you and I
owned that hat, I would never whistle

Dixie. Ciao, amigo.

Ciao. Bye.

Thank you.

until morning.

Good night.

Ooh.

Hey, where are you going? The masquerade
ball?

Don't do that, fella. I'm ticklish.

You ticklish? I'm Moseris. Well, how you
doing, Moseris? I'm glad to know you.

No, I shake my hands. I greet you like
that. Come on. I take you to King.

Penalty for stranger entering this land
is death.

Are you kidding? Come on.

Death... Wait, where are we, fella?

This is the land of Vagmia.

You're telling me.

I wish to speak to the king.

Oh, wise and noble ruler, killer of
tigers, conqueror

of dragons, and general hot rock about
town, a

lowly servant has a message for you. Let
the lowly servant get lower.

I bow before the king.

While you're down there, Scratch my
ankle.

The mosquitoes in this cave are
terrible.

There is a stranger among us. A little
higher.

Oh, that feels good.

This stranger was seen wandering in the
field below our cave.

And the law of our land is that anyone
entering our land without permission

must die.

Who wrote that stupid law?

You did, great chief.

So I did. But a law is a law.

Now, wait a minute, Kingy, old boy. I
want to tell you that my cousin, he

knows something about the clerk. Get
down before the king.

As I said before, my Uncle Louie... I
said bow before the king. He's like that

with the mayor.

Tell me, stranger, where do you come
from?

Pismo Beach.

Pismo Beach?

Oh, yes, that's just north of here.

Well, we're ready with your case.

We're going to try you.

Please, where's the queen?

The queen!

The queen!

Let... The queen comes forth.

Come on, shape up.

Okay, Pudgy, what's the story?

This intruder has ruined the laws of our
village.

What are we going to do with him?

I've got a couple of ideas.

Well, what will we do with him?

Suppose we leave him on the mountainside
for the tigers.

Oh, there must be an easier way of
destroying him.

Hey, wait a minute. Are you sure he's
guilty? Of course I'm sure he's guilty.

Well,

I think so.

Wade, my wise and clever husband,
perhaps you could think of some sort of

a test to prove whether he's innocent or
guilty. Gosh, what an idea just struck

me. We'll put him to a test to find out
if he's guilty.

What kind of a test?

Well, why don't you think of something
like this?

Have a prisoner searched, and if he
carries no weapons on him, That he comes

to us in peace.

Well, what an idea just struck me. We'll
have him searched. And if he doesn't

have any weapons, we'll know he comes in
peace.

Wonderful idea.

I knew you'd think of something.

All right, have the guards search the
prisoner.

Never mind.

I'll handle him.

You're cute.

Search gently.

Don't worry, honey. You're in good
hands.

I don't know about good. I know they're
strong.

If you're looking for weapons, you won't
find them there, kid.

Look, honey, you search your way and
I'll search mine.

Stop! Enough!

Halt! Did you search him for weapons?

Well, I searched him for catapults,
spears, and broadswords.

I didn't have time to search him for the
small arms. Anyway, he's not carrying

weapons. Mm-hmm. That proves he's
innocent.

All right, you're proving to this young
man you can stay here in our village as

long as you care to if you'll obey our
rules.

There's one above all others.

We have a giant here in our village who
threatens to kill each and every one of

us unless we present him with a
beautiful girl.

So we're offering him the fairest of
all.

Where's Bootsmere?

Here I am, Your Highness.

Ah, the innocent Bootsmere. Bootsmere
has been promised to the giant.

Should any man take Bootsmere away
before the giant comes to claim us, he

will kill everyone in our village.

But on the other hand, should Bootsmere
give herself to another man, he will

kill Bootsmere. You know, I think you
fellas have found the answer to the

population explosion.

Well, now that you know our rules, come
join us in our happy way of living.

What's on the agenda for today?

Today, Your Majesty, and all those
assembled,

We celebrate the harvest season.

Let us all go into the orchards and
gather the fruit.

So be it. Let the fruit be gathered, but
leave some lying on the ground to get

rotten. I love rotten fruit, especially
40 proof.

All right, folks, come on now. All out.
Come on, let's gather the fruit. You

gather here.

I'll gather over here. There we go. Come
on, get away. Come on, come on, come on.

Our queen approaches.

Let her approach.

Gorax just carried off another of our
people.

What? I'm sick and tired of hearing
about Gorax.

Stealing our people, killing our people.

Something's got to be done about him.

Why don't we try some sacrificial
dances?

Nonsense. I'm sick of this appeasement.

We'll think of something else, some way
to get rid of him. We could try it

anyway. All right, have it your way. But
nothing good is going to come of it.

Bring on the first dancer.

What are we doing here?

Charlie, the fruit is so much riper
here.

I see any fruit.

Oh, Charlie, you're not looking the
right place.

I'm going to get out of here. No way.

Let us dally a while.

Dally? No, no. I don't like the price
they charge for dallying. Oh, Charlie, I

could make you so happy. Don't be afraid
of me.

No? No.

Tell me more, dear. I love you, Charlie.

You do? Hold me and tell me that you
love me, too.

I do love you, my dear.

And when I put my arms around you, I get
a feeling that makes me feel when I get

that feeling.

I got too much feeling.

Charlie, Charlie, wait. No one will ever
know.

No one?

No one. How could they know? Our only
witnesses would be the trees and the

flowers and the grass.

The trees, the flowers, and the grass.
Yes. That's what worries me. They'll

hang me from a tree, put a lily in my
hand, and you'll be a grass widow.

I'm going. Oh, no, Charlie, no. They
couldn't force me to tell even if they

tortured me. I love you, and you're mine
forever and ever and ever.

Tell me you love me. I don't want to
marry Gorak, that horrible giant.

I want you.

And I am yours forever and ever. I got
it.

And ever. I got it.

And ever.

Let him be.

Thank the gods you got here in time. He
tried to take me by force.

Huh? What happened to forever and ever
and ever? He was a madman. He threw me

to the ground and began kissing me and
squeezing me and pushing me. You tell

him, Mama.

Charlie is not strong enough.

Now, wait a minute. He's just cute.

Yeah, I guess that's what I am, just
cute, yeah.

You tried to give yourself to this man?

If the giant found out, our whole tribe
would be destroyed.

For that, you must die.

Don't worry, my dear. They never yet
have hung a woman here in this state.

Go!

Let there be silence.

Our great and noble king shall speak.

Oh, I like the way he said that.

Miss Boobsmere, you have been arrested
for a heinous crime.

I'll have the wise men help me reach a
verdict.

Those are your wise men? Yes.

All right, witness, speak.

Speak. What do you want me to say?

Oh, tell us your story.

Well, I was born in a little old shack
in Kentucky.

No, no, no.

Tell us what this woman did to you. Take
it nice and slow. I want to get all the

facts. Well, I don't like to tell tales
out of school, but she threw me to the

ground. She threw him to the ground.

And then she tore all my clothes off.

She tore his clothes off.

And then she kissed him. And kissed him.
And kissed him.

She kissed him.

How many times did she kiss him? Three
times or twice?

Three times.

What do you think, shorthand?

Then the queen came in, blew the
whistle, and here we are.

Your man.

Well, Miss Boobsmere, before we sentence
you, tell us why you committed this

heinous crime.

Stop.

Listen, I hear footsteps.

Maybe the giant is outside.

You, go look.

Go on with your story.

Well, good and honorable king, and
wisest of wise men, it was just about

the way he said, and I guess I am
guilty.

Take it easy with the kingy boy.

After all, she's a nice kid with a big
heart.

Except for one or two things that he
left out.

What?

Like he didn't tell you about how he...
How he... Now, wait a minute.

Just a darn minute.

Stop. I can't bear to see a woman cry.

Here, wipe your eyes.

Thank you.

Oh, something tells me I've seen you
show before.

I'm sorry, Your Honor. I'll try to
contain myself.

Honey, if you want to contain yourself,
you better have your clothes made two

sizes larger.

Well, like I started to say, he didn't
tell you about how he grabbed me and

began shaking me and shaking me and
shaking me. Ah, now I know.

This is the old courtroom scene we used
to do with Barillette. And shaking me

and shaking me. Stop.

Point that evidence in my direction.

Well, certainly.

And shaking.

And all that shaking. Get on with your
worthless story.

Wait a minute.

This girl must give the evidence in her
own way.

The queen has a good point there.

All right, let's get on with your story.

So after that, he grasped. I'll show you
just how.

Like this.

And then he began squeezing me and
squeezing me. Wait. Let her enact that

crime for me.

That's evidence we need in court.

Now, wait a minute. How about showing
me, too?

Hey, I'll show you. Never mind.

And that was when he pinched me.

He pinched you?

Uh-huh. I'll show you. Hey, none of that
kind of evidence. Hey, we must see the

evidence. Yes, we must see the evidence.
Objection overruled.

That's enough of this.

We must reach a verdict.

All right, let's get our heads together.

Now, here's what I want you, Borges.
You've got to get to some setting there.

All right, we've reached a verdict.

We find you guilty.

I wasn't even on trial. Stop splitting
hairs.

In the morning, you die.

What? Yeah, but you're a lucky man.

You see, in our kingdom, when a man is
sentenced to death before he dies...

He will marry the most beautiful girl in
all land.

Battleaxe at night, the next day they
hang you. You're going to marry a

beautiful girl, so be happy.

Who will be the bride?

The slave girl.

The most beautiful, the most fabulous
girl in our kingdom.

All right, everybody, follow me.

We leave Charlie alone with his bride.

This way. Come on, let's get out of
here. Come on, come on.

That's it. Come on.

Where are you taking me, fella?

You wait him here.

Me bring you slave girl.

We marry you quick-quick. Tonight you
have fun, because tomorrow you die.

Oh, yeah?

Well, don't hurry back, fella.

How do I ever get myself into this mess?

It's that Herman. That guy. He with his
nutty inventions.

Wow, I bet this place hasn't been
cleaned here in a month.

My maid or anybody else.

What kind of a way is this to run?

Ongabalonga. What's that?

Ongabalonga. That's what I thought you
said.

Ongabalonga. Who are you?

Me, Delta, the slave girl.

That's what I thought. No, there's no
deal, kid. Not tonight.

You see, I happen to know what the chief
is going to have for breakfast tomorrow.

Me.

That's very sad.

Yes, sad for everybody but the buzzards.
They like the menu.

We make you forget everything.

We show you a real big ungap a longer
time.

I know, my dear, but we're not married.
And they said we're going to get

married. Oh, sure.

Yes. We're getting married.

We are getting married?

Yes. Yes.

Now we're married.

Now we're married?

I always told Mother I'd have a big
wedding.

Come. We make you very happy.

We make you forget all about tomorrow.

Make me forget all about tomorrow.

Forget who you are.

I forget who am I.

I forget who I am.

I forget who are you.

Forget about the cave.

I forget about the cave.

Forget about the boozards.

Boozards? I forget about the boozards
until you reminded me to forget about

them. You're a nice fellow.

What they call you?

Charlie.

Charlie. Oh, Charlie.

All right, have it your way.

Me all the same, they like you very
much, Charlie.

You all the same way like me?

Me all the same like you, Zelda.

Only all the same, not tonight.

You got no other night, huh?

Zelda, you hit the head's nail right on
the hammer that time.

If I have my whole life to live in one
night, what am I waiting for?

Oonga baloonga, here I come.

Sir, may I have a moment?

Huh? I represent the Caveman News, the
newspaper with the largest circulation

in the land. Care to see a copy?

This must be the Sunday edition.

Wouldn't you like to come home every
night to see a newsboy throw a copy up

to your steps?

Who you got for news, boys? King Kong?
We've got the finest cooking column ever

written. For example, there's a
wonderful recipe for head cheese, and

this is you.

Do you know how to make head cheese?

No. Well, first you take a head.

Let's forget the rest of it. And all our
reporters are top flight.

Do you know what it takes to make a good
reporter?

No. It takes a nose for news.

So, first you take a nose.

Wait a minute, fella. Who do you work
for, the Cannibal Gazette? And our sport

news, that's our specialty.

We've got the leading authority on
caveman football.

Do you know how to play football?

Yes. First you take a foot, and then you
kick the ball.

Where was I, child?

Oh, yes.

Oonga-baloonga.

Here I come.

I beg your pardon, sir.

I beg your pardon. I'm from the
Neanderthal Life Insurance Company. Now

that you're married, you should want to
take care of your wife. I do. Believe

me, I do.

We have a policy that insures you
against everything.

It covers you against erupting
volcanoes.

It covers you against saber-toothed
tigers, dinosaurs,

and also falling stalagmites.

Falling what?

Falling stalagmites, you know, those
pointed rocks that hang down from the

steel. Yeah, but we got rid of our
falling stalagmites.

Well, what about rising stalcites, you
know?

So, have you ever sat down on a rising
stalcite?

I don't think I'd like to, no.

Well, then you want to be also insured
against the loss of your wife's

services. You darn right I do. And I'm
going to take out a policy right now.

Come on, get out of here.

Oonga-baloonga.

Here I come.

I beg your pardon?

Yes? I don't want to interrupt you two
children, but I've got something

important to do.

Really? I've got a pot of chicken soup
cooking. So you'll pardon me while I

check up.

Chicken soup?

I don't know.

I'm not sure. Taste it and tell me if it
needs salt.

No, thank you very much. I'm sure that
it's all right. As a matter of fact,

when I look at you, I know that you must
be the perfect cook. And anything you

make would be perfect.

Oh, you're such a nice boy.

Thank you.

I've got a daughter.

She's a gorgeous girl. She'd make a fine
wife. You're a doctor, maybe?

No. Then a lawyer is good, too.

I'm not a lawyer, either.

Okay, so maybe you're only a dentist.

I'm also not a dentist.

So a bum like you wants to marry my
daughter. The likes of you. This is what

I read. I want you to know that

you're lucky that I don't lose my
temper.

doing to me? Come on now, fellas. Don't
twirl around.

Will you cut it out? What are you doing
to me, boy?

What is this? What is this, huh?

This here is what someday will be called
a catapult.

We take a tree and we bend it down and
we tie it with this rope and then I take

an axe like this.

I cut the rope and zoom!

You go through the air and you end up on
those rocks up there.

and you splatter all over like a
pancake.

You're really going to like it.

You see those buzzers up there?
Buzzards.

Buzzards. They'll zoom down, and they'll
devour you.

They'll eat me up. Isn't it beautiful?

Oh, come on, fella. Don't be a nut.
Look, I'm not that type, anyhow.

And besides, look at my skin. It's too
tough. They won't like that.

Look, will you do me one favor before I
die? What's that?

Help!

I'm a man.

You know, man.

Me, man.

You appetizer.

Appetizer? I'm not even a salad.

Hey, why don't you get Moser's and
Joser's? They'd make a good sandwich for

you.

Capital idea.

Then later for dinner, you first. Not me
first, fella. Look, not even that.

If I were you and your own attack, I
would never whistle this in.

John!

You deserve it. From now on, you're the
chief. You wear the crown.

I'll wear that miserable-looking hat
you're wearing. Please, don't say

anything about the hat. Here, you have
the crown.

Oh, by the way, where is Elvis?

The slave girl? Yeah. She went that way.
Good.

I will be chief. I'll be medicine man.

I'll be anything you want, but not
without Zelda.

What does he see in that skinny-looking
dame? With hair like a cornfield, lumps

all over.

Well, it takes all kinds of people to
make up a world.

Hello, girls. I'm looking at Zelda.

I guess she isn't here.

Hello, Zelda, honey.

Charlie, what is this monster?

Oh, honey, that's not a monster. It's an
automobile.

Would you believe it? This automobile
can kill more people in one day than a

dinosaur can kill in 20 years.

But it's inside.

You like that?

Zelda, honey.

Don't touch anything now, honey.
Charlie, the monster, it's crawling at

me.

Charlie, you don't know it's me.

Honey, please don't do that. Now, don't
touch anything I told you.

Charlie, Samantha is coming to life.
Now, come on. Will you get out of there,

please, honey?