All language subtitles for Californication S04E09 Another Perfect Day

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,060 - PREVIOUSLY, ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:10,360 - WHAT? YOU GUYS ARE DOING IT NOW? 3 00:00:10,390 --> 00:00:11,560 - IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,160 - IT SHOULD BE PRETTY CUT AND DRY. 5 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,270 YOU PLEAD GUILTY TO UNLAWFUL SEXUAL CONDUCT, 6 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:19,270 THE STATUTORY RAPE CHARGE GOES AWAY. 7 00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:24,610 NICE WORK, ASSHOLE. 8 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,080 DEAL'S OFF. 9 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:27,810 - NO FAIR. INDIAN GIVERS. 10 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,210 - I'M DROPPING THE CASE, 11 00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:31,120 LEAVING THE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO FIND 12 00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,750 AN ATTORNEY WHO SUITS YOUR PARTICULAR PERSONALITY. 13 00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:35,750 - LOOK AROUND. WELCOME TO ROCK BOTTOM. 14 00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:39,220 I LIVE IN THIS SHITTY, FILTHY HOTEL ROOM. 15 00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:40,460 YOU HATE ME. BECCA HATES ME. 16 00:00:40,490 --> 00:00:41,630 MY ATTORNEY DUMPED ME. 17 00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:43,560 - I'LL BE YOUR ATTORNEY AGAIN. - REALLY? 18 00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:44,760 YOU WILL? - YES. 19 00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,230 NO MORE SEX. 20 00:00:46,260 --> 00:00:47,730 - I'M PEGGY, YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENT. 21 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,130 - YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING SLUT. 22 00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:50,130 - [grunts] - OW! 23 00:00:50,170 --> 00:00:51,300 WHAT THE FUCK? 24 00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:52,800 - YOU CAN CHOKE ME IF YOU WANT TO. 25 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,170 - SO WHAT IF YOU KNOCKED UP ONE OF THESE SLUNTS? 26 00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:56,240 - I WOULD PRESENT HER WITH A GIFT CARD 27 00:00:56,270 --> 00:00:58,710 ENTITLING THE BEARER TO ONE BACK-ALLEY ABORTION. 28 00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:00,140 - I'M PREGNANT. 29 00:01:00,180 --> 00:01:02,180 - [laughs and sobs] 30 00:01:02,210 --> 00:01:03,410 - OH, GOD, STU. 31 00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:05,280 JESUS. 32 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,750 - I'M GONNA BE A FATHER! 33 00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:08,290 - NO. STU! 34 00:01:21,170 --> 00:01:23,670 - HERE'S TO HANK MOODY... 35 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:24,900 VERSUS THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA. 36 00:01:24,930 --> 00:01:26,400 - UP YOURS. 37 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:27,800 AND HERE'S TO YOU KEEPING MY BLACK ASS 38 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,170 OUT OF SAN QUENTIN. 39 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,270 - I'LL DO MY UTMOST. 40 00:01:30,310 --> 00:01:32,780 - AND THE DEVIL TAKE THE HINDMOST. 41 00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:34,240 - REMEMBER, WHEN YOU'RE UP THERE ON THE STAND 42 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,510 AND THE PROSECUTOR ASKS YOU-- 43 00:01:35,550 --> 00:01:37,380 - [imitating Richard Nixon] I AM NOT A CROOK. 44 00:01:37,410 --> 00:01:38,550 - [chuckles] THAT'S GOOD. 45 00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:39,880 - I AM NOT A CROOK. 46 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,150 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 47 00:01:41,190 --> 00:01:42,220 YOU'RE SICK OF ALL THE PREP. 48 00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:43,550 I UNDERSTAND. I GOT IT. 49 00:01:43,590 --> 00:01:45,420 - I AM SICK OF IT, YES, BUT I'M ALSO NERVOUS. 50 00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:46,390 I AM. - YEAH, YOU SHOULD BE. 51 00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:47,820 - YEAH, I JUST HOPE I DON'T GET THE SQUIRTS 52 00:01:47,860 --> 00:01:49,330 UP ON THE STAND. 53 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,390 - WELL, ME TOO. 54 00:01:50,430 --> 00:01:52,560 NERVOUS SHITTERS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS FOUND GUILTY. 55 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:53,800 - I WOULD IMAGINE. 56 00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:55,270 HOW ABOUT YOU? 57 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,770 YOU NERVOUS AT ALL? - NO. 58 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,400 I USED TO BE. 59 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,610 FUCK, I USED TO BLOW CHUNKS THE NIGHT BEFORE 60 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:02,870 EVERY FIRST DAY IN COURT. 61 00:02:02,910 --> 00:02:03,870 - NO, THAT'S HOT. YEAH. 62 00:02:03,910 --> 00:02:06,280 I WISH I HAD BEEN THERE TO HOLD YOUR HAIR BACK 63 00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:07,410 AND FONDLE YOUR TITTIES. 64 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,380 - OH, HOW YOU TALK. [chuckles] 65 00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:12,320 WELL, BUT I'VE BEEN DOING THIS A LONG TIME NOW. 66 00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:13,920 I'VE LOST THE BUTTERFLIES. 67 00:02:13,950 --> 00:02:16,620 - YEAH. 68 00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:18,920 WELL, IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING RIDE. 69 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,430 - THAT IS ONE WAY TO PUT IT. 70 00:02:21,460 --> 00:02:22,960 - THANKS FOR STICKING IT OUT WITH ME. 71 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:26,900 - YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME. 72 00:02:26,930 --> 00:02:29,270 - DO YOU WANT TO, UH... 73 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:30,530 COME UPSTAIRS AND HAVE A NIGHTCAP? 74 00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:32,700 I'VE GOT THE SWELLEST LITTLE HONOR BAR IN TOWN. 75 00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:34,270 - THAT'S A NICE TRY. 76 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:36,570 - OH, COME ON. CAN YOU BLAME A GUY? 77 00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:37,940 IT'S THE FRIDAY BEFORE THE MONDAY 78 00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:41,350 I STAND TRIAL FOR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. 79 00:02:41,380 --> 00:02:43,580 A MAN MIGHT BE CRAVING SOME COMPANY. 80 00:02:43,610 --> 00:02:46,780 SOME OF YOUR SWEET, INTELLIGENT COMPANY. 81 00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:49,350 - GET A MASSAGE, A FACIAL. 82 00:02:49,390 --> 00:02:51,760 - STOP TEASING ME WITH YOUR DIRTY TALK. 83 00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:54,490 - I'LL SEE YOU MONDAY. 84 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,700 BRIGHT AND EARLY WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL. 85 00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:04,500 HANG IN THERE. 86 00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:05,840 I'M GOOD AT THIS. 87 00:03:05,870 --> 00:03:08,240 - [sighs] 88 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:21,390 - HOW CAN I HELP YOU, SIR? 89 00:03:21,420 --> 00:03:23,750 - MY KEY HAS FAILED ME, M'LADY. 90 00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:26,290 HENRY JAMES MOODY. THE THIRD. 91 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,330 - YES, MR. MOODY. 92 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,490 THERE'S JUST THE MATTER OF THE BILL. 93 00:03:29,530 --> 00:03:30,830 - WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH IT? 94 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,960 - WELL, IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THE CREDIT CARD COMPANY 95 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,930 IS NOT ACCEPTING YOUR CHARGES. 96 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,130 - OH, WELL, THAT SHIT HAPPENS. 97 00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:38,570 BETWEEN YOU AND ME, I'M PRETTY FUCKING SOLVENT RIGHT NOW. 98 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,300 I MADE A HUNDY LARGE LAST WEEK. 99 00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,510 - OH, GOOD FOR YOU, SIR. - FOR DOING NOTHING, LITERALLY. 100 00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:44,440 A FOURTH-GRADER COULD HAVE STEPPED IN FOR ME. 101 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:45,580 AMERICA. 102 00:03:45,610 --> 00:03:46,740 IT'S A GREAT FUCKING COUNTRY, HUH? 103 00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:47,840 - GREAT. 104 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,450 - SO CAN WE PUT THIS ON MY TAB 105 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,710 OR YOU WANT TO GIVE MY AGENT A CALL? 106 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:52,450 YOU'RE NOT GONNA THROW ME OUT ON MY ASS 107 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,380 OVER SOME PIDDLY LITTLE SUM, ARE YOU? 108 00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:55,490 - WELL-- 109 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,490 - WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE? 110 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,450 WHAT DO I OWE? - LET'S SEE. 111 00:03:57,490 --> 00:03:59,720 HERE WE GO. 112 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,990 ROUGHLY, UH, $25,000 AND SOME CHANGE. 113 00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:05,560 - WELL, FUCK MY FACE. 114 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,570 [upbeat music] 115 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:16,540 * 116 00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,890 - [grunts] 117 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,420 [grunts] 118 00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:10,530 HEY...SWEETIE. 119 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,630 DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THE FRESH SEA AIR? 120 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:13,930 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 121 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,030 - CREDIT CARD SNAFU AT THE HOTEL. 122 00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:18,030 I COULDN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH UNCLE RUNKLE 123 00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:20,400 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU GUYS UP. 124 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,640 - YOU COULDN'T FIND A FLOOZY TO TAKE YOU IN? 125 00:05:22,670 --> 00:05:23,810 - HEY NOW. 126 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,610 WHAT'S WRONG WITH COMMUNING WITH NATURE, 127 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:26,910 SLEEPING UNDER THE STARS? 128 00:05:26,940 --> 00:05:30,410 - THERE'S BIRD SHIT ON YOUR SHOULDER. 129 00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:32,480 - OH, LOOK AT THAT. 130 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,680 YUCK. SO THERE IS. 131 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,690 - DID YOU DRINK AND DRIVE? 132 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,090 - IN THAT ORDER? 133 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,690 - COME IN. 134 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,790 - UH, I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA, BEX. 135 00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:45,660 YOUR MOM-- - SHE SAID IT WAS OKAY. 136 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:48,630 - WELL, IN THAT CASE. 137 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,940 - OH, GOD. 138 00:05:55,970 --> 00:05:57,440 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 139 00:05:57,470 --> 00:05:59,480 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DEFLOWERING 140 00:05:59,510 --> 00:06:01,580 MY OWN LITTLE BROTHER. 141 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:03,850 - BELIEVE IT, SISTER CHRISTIAN. 142 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,110 KEEPIN' IT IN THE FAMILY. 143 00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:06,420 - OH, MY. - TABOO-STYLE. 144 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:09,450 - OH, MY OWN BROTHER INSIDE ME. 145 00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:12,160 THIS IS SO FUCKING WRONG! 146 00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:15,430 - SO WRONG, MY SEXY SIBLING. 147 00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:17,160 - OH, WE SHARED A CRIB. 148 00:06:17,190 --> 00:06:19,000 - SO VERY, VERY WRONG. 149 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:21,160 - FUCK ME, FLESH AND BLOOD! 150 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,470 FUCK ME. 151 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,170 - MOM AND DAD WOULD NOT LIKE THIS 152 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,170 ONE LITTLE BIT, WOULD THEY? 153 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,500 - OH, NO. 154 00:06:26,540 --> 00:06:27,740 MOM AND DAD. 155 00:06:27,770 --> 00:06:31,910 WHAT IF THEY COME HOME EARLY FROM MAMMOTH? 156 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:33,740 - UH... 157 00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:34,980 MOM AND DAD WERE-- 158 00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:37,580 MOM AND DAD WERE KILLED RECENTLY 159 00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:38,920 IN AN UNFORTUNATE CAR CRASH. 160 00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:40,220 - OH! 161 00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:45,590 OH, YOUR VIRGINITY IS MINE, BROTHER RUNKLE! 162 00:06:45,620 --> 00:06:49,860 - YOU GETTING CLOSE, BY ANY CHANCE? 163 00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:52,630 - DID YOU CUM ALREADY? 164 00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:54,630 - A COUPLE MINUTES BACK, YEAH. 165 00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:56,930 I THOUGHT I COULD POWER THROUGH THE NEXT BONER. 166 00:06:56,970 --> 00:06:58,100 MY BAD. 167 00:06:58,130 --> 00:07:00,740 - OH. HMM. 168 00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:03,210 I DON'T MIND, CHARLIE. 169 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,580 PLEASING YOU PLEASES ME. 170 00:07:05,610 --> 00:07:08,140 - PLEASE ME YOU DO, MY FANTASY SISTER. 171 00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:11,080 - I WANT TO FULFILL ALL OF YOUR FANTASIES, CHARLIE. 172 00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:13,480 I KNOW YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF SICK, TWISTED STUFF 173 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,250 GOING ON IN THAT DOME OF YOURS 174 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,520 AND I WANT TO MAKE IT ALL COME TRUE. 175 00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:21,660 - GOOD TO KNOW. 176 00:07:21,690 --> 00:07:23,890 - DO YOU WANT TO WATCH ME HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN? 177 00:07:23,930 --> 00:07:26,630 - NOT REALLY. 178 00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:27,960 MAYBE. 179 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,030 [phone rings] 180 00:07:29,070 --> 00:07:31,570 - [gasps] 181 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:35,200 RUNKLE-HAUS. 182 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,740 UGH. IT'S YOUR EX. 183 00:07:37,770 --> 00:07:39,040 - MARCY? 184 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,280 - WHO THE HELL WAS THAT? 185 00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:42,010 - A LITTLE BUSY HERE, MARCE. 186 00:07:42,050 --> 00:07:44,050 WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR? 187 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,220 - STU AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE YOU OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT. 188 00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:49,850 - WELL, I CAN'T DO IT TONIGHT. 189 00:07:49,890 --> 00:07:51,250 I GOT RESERVATIONS AT MOZZA. 190 00:07:51,290 --> 00:07:53,620 WHAT ABOUT SOMETIME NEXT WEEK? 191 00:07:53,660 --> 00:07:56,030 - LOOK, I KNOW IT'S LAST-MINUTE AND ALL, 192 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,960 BUT, UH, STU'S BEEN AFTER ME EVER SINCE 193 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,570 I MOVED IN HERE TO HAVE YOU OVER, SO-- 194 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,270 - YEAH, WHY? SO HE CAN RUB MY NOSE 195 00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,300 IN THE OPULENT LIFESTYLE I COULD NEVER GIVE YOU? 196 00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:07,040 - HARDLY. 197 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,210 STU IS ALL ABOUT LOOKING TO THE FUTURE. 198 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,540 HE SAYS IT'S WHAT MATURE ADULTS DO. 199 00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:12,840 - OKAY, OKAY. FINE. 200 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,550 I GUESS I CAN SWITCH SOME THINGS AROUND. 201 00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:20,180 - [moaning] 202 00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:21,890 - CAN I BRING A DATE? 203 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,250 - CONSIDER YOURSELF PLUS ONE. 204 00:08:24,290 --> 00:08:27,960 - GOTTA GO. 205 00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:29,760 - SO IS THERE ANY-- ANYTHING NEW 206 00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:31,030 I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT? 207 00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:32,760 LATEST DEVELOPMENTS? 208 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,300 ANY NEWS I NEED TO BE KEPT ABREAST OF? 209 00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:36,900 [chuckles] 210 00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:38,740 HE SAID, "BREAST." 211 00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:40,770 HE DID. 212 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,870 "BREAST." 213 00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:47,810 - WELL, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, UM... 214 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,110 I COULD USE SOME MONEY. 215 00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:51,210 I MEAN, WE HAVE A MORTGAGE TO PAY. 216 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:52,750 - YEAH, BUT I DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. 217 00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:53,750 YOU KICKED ME OUT, REMEMBER? 218 00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:54,980 - EXCUSE ME? 219 00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:56,920 - NO, THE CHECK'S IN THE MAIL. HONESTLY. 220 00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:58,290 DESPITE THE GREAT UNPLEASANTNESS, 221 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:01,160 I'VE BEEN DOING QUITE WELL FINANCIALLY, SO. 222 00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:03,190 - THAT'S WHY YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF YOUR HOTEL? 223 00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:04,830 - THAT WAS JUST A CREDIT CARD SNAFU, HONEY. 224 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:06,860 TURNS OUT IT'S REALLY EXPENSIVE TO LIVE IN A HOTEL. 225 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,200 BUT I'M DOING FINE, SWEETIE. 226 00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,670 YOUR FATHER IS A BIG-TIME WORDSMITH. 227 00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,300 - GREAT, SO YOU CAN BUY ME A CAR. 228 00:09:12,340 --> 00:09:13,670 - YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. 229 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,240 - GREAT, SO YOU CAN TEACH ME. 230 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:17,070 - WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? 231 00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:18,640 - PEARL'S LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE RIGHT NOW. 232 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:19,940 BEN'S TEACHING HER. 233 00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:21,650 HE'S GONNA GET HER A CAR TOO. 234 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,650 - GET A LOAD OF BLACK JESUS. 235 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,220 DOES HE TURN WATER INTO WHISKEY TOO? 236 00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,220 HEAL THE SICK? 237 00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:28,820 YEAH, HE DOES, HUH? 238 00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:30,920 WHATEVER. 239 00:09:30,950 --> 00:09:32,690 I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU BEHIND THE WHEEL. 240 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,160 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 241 00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:35,630 - YEAH, I COULD TEACH HER. 242 00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,030 - YOU'RE A TERRIBLE DRIVER. 243 00:09:37,060 --> 00:09:38,330 - I AM NOT. - YES, YOU ARE. 244 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,200 YOU'RE LIKE AN ASIAN WOMAN WITH ALZHEIMER'S. 245 00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:43,200 NO ARMS OR LEGS. 246 00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:44,670 STEERING WITH YOUR TONGUE. 247 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,100 [grunts] 248 00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:47,640 WHOOPS. YOU JUST FELL OVER. 249 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,670 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW? 250 00:09:48,710 --> 00:09:50,140 [grunts] 251 00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:51,370 YOU SEE THAT? NO, THAT WAS HORRIBLE. 252 00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:53,140 WE STILL GOT IT... - YOU ARE SO STUPID. 253 00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:54,040 - THAT FAMILY CHEMISTRY. 254 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,750 THE COSBYS, THE HUXTABLES, THE MANSONS, 255 00:09:56,780 --> 00:09:57,950 THEY GOT NOTHING ON US. 256 00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:59,750 NO, NO. YOU STAY. 257 00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:02,250 YOU WERE THE ARCHITECT OF THIS SUMPTUOUS FEAST 258 00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:05,660 AND I WILL BE THE BOY THAT BUSES THE SHIT OUT OF IT. 259 00:10:05,690 --> 00:10:08,190 OOH, OOH. WHOA. 260 00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,830 - [chuckles] - DON'T LAUGH, 261 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,200 'CAUSE YOU'LL JUST ENCOURAGE HIM. 262 00:10:12,230 --> 00:10:13,300 [engine revs and tires screech] 263 00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:15,260 - HEY, WHOA. 264 00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,700 OKAY. 265 00:10:16,730 --> 00:10:18,030 YEAH. 266 00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:19,900 I'VE LOST FEELING IN MY ASS. 267 00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:22,240 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 268 00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:24,310 [gears grinding] WELL, THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL. 269 00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:25,980 NOT REALLY. 270 00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:27,340 YOU HEAR THAT? BLACKIE'S IN PAIN. 271 00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:30,050 POOR BLACKIE'S JUST CRYING. 272 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,450 - DID I BREAK IT? - NO, NO, NO, NO, BABE. 273 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,450 JUST THROW IT IN NEUTRAL. - NUH-UH. 274 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:34,880 THAT'S IT. 275 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:35,990 I DON'T WANT TO LEARN TO DRIVE ANYMORE. 276 00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:36,850 IT'S TOO HARD. 277 00:10:36,890 --> 00:10:38,120 - HONEY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO RECONSIDER. 278 00:10:38,150 --> 00:10:39,190 L.A. IS NOT KNOWN FOR THE QUALITY 279 00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:40,190 OF ITS PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. 280 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,230 - THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE BIG BLUE BUS. 281 00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:43,490 - WHAT? 282 00:10:43,530 --> 00:10:44,760 YOU WANT HER SANDWICHED BETWEEN SOME GUY WITH TEARDROP TATTOOS 283 00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:47,800 AND AN OLD LADY THAT SMELLS LIKE CAT FOOD AND MENSTRUAL BLOOD? 284 00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:49,970 - WHY WOULD AN OLD WOMAN SMELL LIKE MENSTRUAL BLOOD? 285 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,100 - WELL-- 286 00:10:51,130 --> 00:10:53,140 - BECAUSE HE NEVER THINKS BEFORE HE OPENS HIS MOUTH. 287 00:10:53,170 --> 00:10:55,040 - THAT MAY BE TRUE, 288 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,770 BUT CRAZY PEOPLE DO RIDE THE BUS 289 00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:59,040 AND MAYBE SHE SMELLS OF MENSTRUAL BLOOD 290 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,310 BECAUSE THE HOMELESS PROSTITUTE TWO SEATS AWAY FROM HER 291 00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:02,750 JUST THREW HER TAMPON AT HER. 292 00:11:02,780 --> 00:11:04,250 - OH, MY GOD. - EVER THINK OF THAT? 293 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,750 YEAH. - I THINK I'M GOING TO THROW UP. 294 00:11:05,780 --> 00:11:07,920 - DO IT ALL OVER HIS CAR. 295 00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,450 - COME ON, LADIES. WHERE'S THE LOVE? 296 00:11:09,490 --> 00:11:10,650 WE GOT TO TRY TO FIND IT. [engine starts] 297 00:11:10,690 --> 00:11:12,890 THIS WAY, WE'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT TO PARALLEL PARKING. 298 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,920 OKAY, NOW THROW IT IN NEUTRAL. 299 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:15,960 [gears grinding] COME ON, STEP ON THE CLUTCH. 300 00:11:15,990 --> 00:11:17,130 LEFT. LEFT! 301 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,000 - [giggles] 302 00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:20,000 - WHY WOULD YOU CROSS OVER? 303 00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:21,830 IT'S THE LEFT FOOT. 304 00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:23,900 RIGHT FOOT--THAT'S IT. KEEP IT ON THE GAS. 305 00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:25,000 NO, NOT ON IT. 306 00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:26,840 NOW, JUST KEEP HOVERING. 307 00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:30,410 - * DESERVES A HOLIDAY 308 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,340 * IN THE SUN 309 00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:36,080 * ALMOST EVERY DAY 310 00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:38,920 * TILL THE LIONS ARE OFF 311 00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:40,280 * OF THEIR BACKS 312 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:46,260 * 313 00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,170 - AFTER YOU. 314 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,000 - THANK YOU. 315 00:11:58,030 --> 00:12:00,070 - HEY. - HEY, WELCOME. 316 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:02,210 - HI. - STU. 317 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,070 - THANK YOU, CHARLIE. 318 00:12:05,110 --> 00:12:06,880 - OKAY. YES. 319 00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:08,480 - THIS IS PEGGY AND, PEGGY, 320 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,950 YOU REMEMBER MARCY? 321 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:10,980 - HI, PEGGY. 322 00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:13,950 PEGGY...OUR REAL ESTATE AGENT. 323 00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:16,120 - IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, MARCY. 324 00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:17,920 WE'RE REALLY MORE LIKE BROTHER AND SISTER. 325 00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,290 - OKAY. 326 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,890 - THIS PLACE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. 327 00:12:21,930 --> 00:12:24,430 LET ME GUESS. 1956? 328 00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:26,160 - OH, CLOSE. '57. 329 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,460 - I'D LOVE A TOUR. 330 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,000 - OH, BE A PLEASURE. 331 00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:30,470 LIKE THE GAL, RUNKLE. 332 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,840 SEEMS LIKE A KEEPER. [chuckles] 333 00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:35,370 OVER HERE. 334 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,910 - OOH. - YEAH. 335 00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:38,210 - [imitates gunshot] 336 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,440 - YOU'RE DATING OUR REALTOR? 337 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,080 - IF BY DATING, YOU MEAN ENTERING HER 338 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,350 ON A SEMI-REGULAR BASIS, THEN, YES. 339 00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:45,820 - DELIGHTFUL. 340 00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:48,950 I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR THE SLUT PARADE CONTINUES. 341 00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:50,020 - WHAT? I DON'T DESERVE A LITTLE 342 00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:51,090 POST-DIVORCE HAPPINESS? 343 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:52,490 EXCUSE ME. 344 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,060 WE CAN'T ALL HAVE A RICH BOYFRIEND 345 00:12:54,090 --> 00:12:55,190 WITH A LEGENDARY SCHLONG. 346 00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:57,190 - IS IT SERIOUS? 347 00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,230 - WITH PEGGY? 348 00:12:58,260 --> 00:12:59,500 WHO KNOWS? 349 00:12:59,530 --> 00:13:01,100 I'M TAKING IT DAY BY DAY. 350 00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:02,900 WOULDN'T WANT TO RUSH INTO ANYTHING. 351 00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,430 I LIKES ME MY FREEDOM. 352 00:13:04,470 --> 00:13:06,070 - WAS THAT A JAB AT ME? 353 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,970 - A LITTLE ONE. 354 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,210 I MEAN, THIS WHOLE BUSINESS WITH STU 355 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,040 SORT OF CAME OUT OF NOWHERE, DON'T YOU THINK? 356 00:13:11,070 --> 00:13:12,580 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU TO TELL YOU, CHARLIE. 357 00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:14,210 THE HEART WANTS. 358 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,150 - WELL, THIS HEART WANTS FREEDOM FROM RESPONSIBILITY 359 00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:17,550 AND AN ABUNDANCE OF STRANGE. 360 00:13:17,580 --> 00:13:21,480 THAT'S WHERE I'M AT. 361 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,350 - OKAY, I'LL BE GETTING OUT OF YOUR HAIR. 362 00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:25,890 - THAT'S OKAY. 363 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,420 YOU COULD STAY THE WEEKEND. IT'S GOOD FOR BECCA. 364 00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:29,990 - YOU SURE? - YEAH. 365 00:13:30,030 --> 00:13:31,460 I MEAN, THAT WAY WE GET TO MAKE SURE 366 00:13:31,490 --> 00:13:33,030 THAT YOU GO TO COURT ON MONDAY. 367 00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:35,060 - YOU SEE THAT? YOU'RE ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT ME. 368 00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,900 - MM-HMM. - MUCH APPREESH. 369 00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:38,530 WHY DON'T I MAKE YOU SOME DINNER? 370 00:13:38,570 --> 00:13:40,270 - WELL, THERE'S AN EMPTY OFFER. YOU CAN'T COOK. 371 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:41,640 - EXCUSE ME? 372 00:13:41,670 --> 00:13:43,410 WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE SENSATION? 373 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,280 - A CORONARY IN A CASSEROLE DISH. 374 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,280 - ALL RIGHT, THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND MAKE SOMETHING 375 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:49,610 ALL ORGANIC AND HEALTHY AND VEGETARIAN AND SHIT, 376 00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:51,480 AND I'LL PICK OUT A MOVIE FOR US TO WATCH. 377 00:13:51,510 --> 00:13:53,550 - I'M GOING OUT. 378 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:54,880 - OH. - MM-HMM. 379 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,990 - OUT OUT? - I GUESS. 380 00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,290 - LIKE OUT-ON-A-DATE OUT? 381 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,290 - UM, DINNER OUT. 382 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:01,620 - COOL HAND BEN? 383 00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,630 - WITH BEN, YES, AND IF YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME SHIT 384 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,160 ABOUT IT, YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT NOW. 385 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,200 - NO, I WON'T. 386 00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:09,200 I HAVE GROWN A LOT SINCE BREAKFAST. 387 00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:13,500 SO ARE YOU GUYS, LIKE, OFFICIALLY DATING NOW? 388 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,970 - WE'RE NOT OFFICIALLY ANYTHING EXCEPT FRIENDS. 389 00:14:16,010 --> 00:14:18,610 - FRIENDS WHO GO OUT TO DINNER ON A SATURDAY NIGHT 390 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,240 AND YOU'RE ALL GUSSIED UP. 391 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,510 BUT THAT DOESN'T QUITE DO IT JUSTICE, 392 00:14:22,550 --> 00:14:24,010 'CAUSE YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 393 00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:25,180 HE'S A LUCKY GUY. 394 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:26,350 - THANK YOU. 395 00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:29,050 - I WISH I WERE HIM. 396 00:14:29,090 --> 00:14:30,990 AND NOT JUST BECAUSE I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE BLACK... 397 00:14:31,020 --> 00:14:32,360 - [laughs] 398 00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:34,260 - OR IT'D BE A NICE ESCAPE FROM BEING ME, 399 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:37,630 WHICH IS GETTING PRETTY OLD RIGHT ABOUT NOW, 400 00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:40,260 BUT BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING 401 00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,700 AND I WOULD KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR AND 402 00:14:42,730 --> 00:14:45,200 IN THE TIME BETWEEN YOU ANSWERING, 403 00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:47,600 I WOULD TRY TO IMAGINE WHAT YOU WERE GONNA LOOK LIKE. 404 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,640 AND WHEN YOU DID, YOU'D BE, LIKE, 405 00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:51,510 TEN TIMES MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I COULD EVER IMAGINE. 406 00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,110 - STOP IT. 407 00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:54,980 - AND I'D GET THIS FUNNY FEELING IN MY STOMACH 408 00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:57,650 BECAUSE YOU'D LOOK AT ME WITH ALL THIS HOPE IN YOUR EYES 409 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:03,050 INSTEAD OF DISAPPOINTMENT, WHICH IS WHAT I SEE NOW. 410 00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:05,020 [knock on door] 411 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,330 YEAH, LIKE I SAID. 412 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,000 LUCKY GUY. 413 00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:14,230 - WHAT'S UP? 414 00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:15,630 - BENJAMIN. 415 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:18,200 - HENRY. - NICE. 416 00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:19,240 PEARL, RESPECT. 417 00:15:19,270 --> 00:15:20,040 - PAPA MOODY. 418 00:15:20,070 --> 00:15:23,570 - YEAH, THAT STILL QUEERS ME OUT. 419 00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:27,180 - SO, UM, WE SHOULDN'T BE, YOU KNOW, LATE. 420 00:15:27,210 --> 00:15:29,250 - GO HAVE FUN, YOU KIDS. 421 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,680 I'LL KEEP AN EYE ON THESE RAPSCALLIONS. 422 00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:33,150 - MAYBE THEY'D BE SAFER KEEPING AN EYE ON THEMSELVES. 423 00:15:33,180 --> 00:15:35,580 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, THEN THEY CAN KEEP AN EYE ON ME. 424 00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:37,650 HEY, YOU LADIES WANT TO DO ANYTHING? 425 00:15:37,690 --> 00:15:41,420 WHO'S UP FOR A GAME OF HYPODERMIC NEEDLE DARTS? 426 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:45,690 I SAID HYPODERMIC NEEDLE DARTS FOR THE CHILDREN. 427 00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:47,760 GO ON, LADIES. 428 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,300 DIG IN. 429 00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,670 THIS STUFF WILL CLOG YOUR ARTERIES, 430 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,600 BUT IT'LL ALSO PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST. 431 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,470 YOU'LL THANK ME LATER. 432 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,570 - KIND OF LOOKS LIKE AN AUTOPSY. 433 00:15:56,610 --> 00:15:59,180 - YES, BUT IT TASTES LIKE AMERICA. 434 00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:01,310 SO WHAT DO YOU FREAKS WANT TO DO? 435 00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:03,080 DO YOU WANT TO CATCH A MOVIE OR SOMETHING? 436 00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:04,650 YOU WANT TO GET YOUR HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ON? 437 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,120 - THOSE MOVIES ARE AWFUL, DAD. 438 00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:07,120 - YEAH, THANKS FOR TRYING, 439 00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:09,390 BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY WHAT THE KIDS ARE INTO. 440 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:10,590 - TELL ME WHAT THE KIDS ARE INTO. 441 00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:13,660 TAKE ME TO SCHOOL, LADIES. 442 00:16:13,690 --> 00:16:15,090 - PRETTY MUCH GETTING FUCKED UP 443 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,260 AND SEARCHING THE NET FOR STUPID SHIT. 444 00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:17,790 - THAT SOUND PRETTY GOOD. 445 00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:19,660 THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MODERN EQUIVALENT 446 00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,530 OF HANGING OUT IN FRONT OF THE 7-ELEVEN 447 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,700 AND WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, 448 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,100 WHICH I DID THE SHIT OUT OF IN MY YOUTH, 449 00:16:24,130 --> 00:16:27,140 BUT I CAN'T ENDORSE IN YOU YOUNGSTERS. 450 00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:30,370 HOW ABOUT SOME, UH-- OOH, AMERICAN IDOL? 451 00:16:30,410 --> 00:16:32,040 - DAD... - WHAT? 452 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,480 - DO WE LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GIRLS 453 00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:34,780 WHO ARE INTO AMERICAN IDOL? 454 00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:36,650 - NO, NOT SO MUCH. 455 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,710 ACTUALLY, YOU LOOK LIKE GIRLS WHO WOULD HURT GIRLS 456 00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:40,120 WHO ARE INTO AMERICAN IDOL. 457 00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:42,090 - AWW, HE GETS US. 458 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,650 - ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST GONNA HANG OUT AND WRITE A SONG. 459 00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:47,390 - WOW. THAT SOUNDS TOTALLY COOL. 460 00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:49,130 CAN I WATCH? - NO. 461 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,260 - YEAH, THAT'S NOT COOL. 462 00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:52,100 YOU CAN'T WRITE IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE. 463 00:16:52,130 --> 00:16:53,460 - OH. 464 00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,400 - WE'LL PLAY IT FOR YOU WHEN WE'RE DONE. 465 00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:58,270 - EXCELLENT. THAT'S A DEAL. 466 00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,270 [spits] 467 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:02,810 [laughter] 468 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,270 THIS IS NOT MY BEST BATCH. 469 00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:06,710 - YEAH, IT KIND OF TASTES LIKE ASS. 470 00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:09,580 - NOT THE GOOD KIND EITHER. 471 00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:11,580 - [snoring] 472 00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,500 [muffled giggles] 473 00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:33,670 - COME ON. LET'S GO. 474 00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,540 - AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, 475 00:17:35,570 --> 00:17:37,610 IS THE REAL REASON MIDNIGHT COWBOY 476 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,180 WAS GIVEN AN "X" RATING. 477 00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:40,740 - FASCINATING STUFF, STU. 478 00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:42,210 YOU SHOULD REALLY WRITE A BOOK. 479 00:17:42,250 --> 00:17:43,550 I COULD SELL THAT SHIT IN A HEARTBEAT. 480 00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:45,180 - NO, NO. ENOUGH ABOUT ME. 481 00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:48,480 I BELIEVE MY DEAR MARCY HAS SOMETHING 482 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:49,550 SHE WOULD LIKE TO SHARE. 483 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:50,750 - OH, NO. 484 00:17:50,790 --> 00:17:52,560 TELL 'EM THE ONE ABOUT MARISA TOMEI 485 00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:55,660 AND WHAT SHE REALLY DID TO GET THAT OSCAR. 486 00:17:55,690 --> 00:17:57,390 - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. ENOUGH ABOUT THE PAST. 487 00:17:57,430 --> 00:17:59,830 LET'S TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE. 488 00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:02,330 THIS IS A NIGHT TO CELEBRATE BEGINNINGS. 489 00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:04,700 DON'T YOU THINK, MARCY? 490 00:18:04,730 --> 00:18:06,170 BEGINNINGS? 491 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,200 - WOULD ANYBODY LIKE MORE WINE? 492 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:09,240 - NO, NO. 493 00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:10,270 - NO. 494 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:12,210 - OKAY. 495 00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:18,180 AHEM. 496 00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:20,150 LIFE IS A FUCKED UP THING. 497 00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:23,150 SHIT HAPPENS. 498 00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:26,690 ONE DAY YOU'RE UP AND ANOTHER YOU'RE DOWN. 499 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:27,860 - MARCY? MARCY? - WHAT? 500 00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:29,360 - THE WINE. - WHAT? 501 00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:30,590 - WINE. - HMM? 502 00:18:30,630 --> 00:18:32,330 - THE BABY! 503 00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,360 - JESUS! 504 00:18:38,530 --> 00:18:40,940 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? 505 00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:42,710 - APPARENTLY, I'M LOOKING AT A PREGNANT WOMAN. 506 00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:44,540 - I'M SO SORRY, MARCY. 507 00:18:44,570 --> 00:18:47,310 - NO, IT'S FINE. OKAY, SO NOW YOU KNOW. 508 00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,550 STU DONE KNOCKED ME UP. 509 00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:50,810 I AM INDEED WITH CHILD. 510 00:18:50,850 --> 00:18:51,810 SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS. 511 00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:53,420 - ARE YOU KEEPING IT? 512 00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:55,550 - WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? 513 00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:56,550 WHAT? 514 00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:57,820 - OF COURSE WE'RE KEEPING IT. 515 00:18:57,850 --> 00:18:58,950 THE BEGGS' NAME WILL LIVE ON 516 00:18:58,990 --> 00:19:02,660 THANKS TO THE WELCOMING CONFINES OF MARCY'S BLESSED WOMB. 517 00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:04,590 - HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE? 518 00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:06,830 - CHARLIE, WE WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW 519 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:08,300 BEFORE YOU FOUND OUT SOMEWHERE ELSE. 520 00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,700 IT JUST SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 521 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:11,230 - WELL, THAT WAS QUICK. 522 00:19:11,270 --> 00:19:12,800 WHO KNEW YOU WERE SUCH A FERTILE MYRTLE, MARCE? 523 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,840 - YOU DON'T SEEM EXACTLY HAPPY FOR US, CHARLIE. 524 00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:16,870 - ME? I'M ECSTATIC. 525 00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:19,680 WHY SHOULDN'T I BE HAPPY THAT MY EX-WIFE 526 00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:21,310 AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND OF SIX WEEKS 527 00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:22,450 ARE EXPECTING A CHILD? 528 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:27,720 MAZEL-FUCKING-TOV. REALLY. 529 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,790 [phone rings] 530 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:32,760 - [grunts] 531 00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:40,960 HEY, BECCA, WILL YOU GET THAT? 532 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,930 BECCA? 533 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,870 HELLO? 534 00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:55,580 [siren wails] 535 00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:59,010 BECCA? BECCA? 536 00:19:59,050 --> 00:20:00,980 BECCA. 537 00:20:08,590 --> 00:20:11,330 YOU OKAY, PEARL? 538 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:12,730 - PEARL! 539 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,600 PEARL. 540 00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:18,500 YOU OKAY? - BABY. 541 00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:19,840 - YOU'RE OKAY? YOU SURE? 542 00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:23,640 - [sighs] 543 00:20:23,670 --> 00:20:24,840 - WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? 544 00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:27,440 - THEY TOOK MY KEYS AND SNUCK OUT. 545 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:28,710 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM. 546 00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:29,880 - I DOZED. 547 00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:30,980 - WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BOOZE 548 00:20:31,010 --> 00:20:32,850 ON YOUR BREATH, RIGHT? 549 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,480 - WELL, I DETECT A FAINT HINT OF COCK ON YOUR BREATH, 550 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,720 BUT I'M NOT GIVING YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT IT, AM I? 551 00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:39,820 - IT WAS OUR FAULT, OKAY? IT WAS OUR FAULT. 552 00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:42,060 - WE WOULD HAVE TRIED THE SAME THING IF MY MOM WAS THERE. 553 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:44,060 - IT'S TRUE. THEY WOULD HAVE. 554 00:20:44,090 --> 00:20:46,060 - YOU DEFENDING HIM NOW TOO? 555 00:20:46,090 --> 00:20:48,000 - I'M NOT DEFENDING ANYONE. 556 00:20:48,030 --> 00:20:49,800 I'M JUST GLAD THEY'RE ALIVE. 557 00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:52,000 - LET'S GO, PEARL. 558 00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:54,970 WE'RE GONNA GO HOME. 559 00:20:59,010 --> 00:21:00,080 - HEY, AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY 560 00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:02,080 ABOUT FIXING THAT HEADLIGHT ANYMORE. 561 00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:05,980 - DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? 562 00:21:06,010 --> 00:21:08,720 - [scoffs] 563 00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:10,690 - OKAY. 564 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:15,990 [sighs] 565 00:21:16,020 --> 00:21:17,590 - [sighs] 566 00:21:17,630 --> 00:21:19,600 YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER, DON'T YOU? 567 00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:21,930 - THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE MAD ABOUT? 568 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,430 - I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT HER 569 00:21:23,470 --> 00:21:25,500 WHEN YOU FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT. 570 00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:26,670 - LOOK? THERE WAS NO LOOK. 571 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:29,840 I WAS--I WAS TAKEN ABACK, THAT'S ALL. 572 00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:32,780 - I CAN'T FUCK A MAN WHO'S IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER, CHARLIE. 573 00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:34,410 I CAN'T DO IT. 574 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:35,840 I WON'T DO IT. 575 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,610 - PEGGY, MARCY AND I HAVE A LONG, 576 00:21:38,650 --> 00:21:40,080 COMPLICATED HISTORY TOGETHER. 577 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:44,950 I CAN'T JUST TURN OFF MY EMOTIONS LIKE FLIPPING A SWITCH. 578 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:46,120 - DO YOU WANT A CHILD, CHARLIE? 579 00:21:46,150 --> 00:21:47,590 IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 580 00:21:47,620 --> 00:21:49,390 - NO! 581 00:21:49,430 --> 00:21:51,930 MAYBE. I--I DON'T KNOW. 582 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:56,500 - YOU DISGUST ME RIGHT NOW, CHARLIE. 583 00:21:56,530 --> 00:21:57,500 - ARE YOU BARREN? 584 00:21:57,530 --> 00:22:00,500 - I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT. 585 00:22:00,540 --> 00:22:02,740 - LOOK, PEGGY... 586 00:22:02,770 --> 00:22:05,070 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA BE WITH YOU AND ME, 587 00:22:05,110 --> 00:22:08,410 BUT MARCY WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART. 588 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,880 IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT, THEN I DON'T KNOW 589 00:22:10,910 --> 00:22:14,820 IF THIS THING BETWEEN US CAN WORK OUT. 590 00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:17,590 [both screaming] 591 00:22:17,620 --> 00:22:19,760 - OH, CHARLIE! OH, CHAR--CHARLIE! 592 00:22:19,790 --> 00:22:21,460 - JESUS CHRIST! - OH, CHARLIE, I'M SORRY. 593 00:22:21,490 --> 00:22:22,730 I DIDN'T MEAN TO, REALLY. - AH! 594 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,890 - I DIDN'T MEAN TO. I'M SO SORRY. 595 00:22:24,930 --> 00:22:26,960 - WHAT THE FUCK, PEGGY? 596 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,100 - I KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE IT BETTER. 597 00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:31,700 LET ME MAKE IT NICE. 598 00:22:31,730 --> 00:22:36,000 YOU LET PEGGY MAKE THE PAIN GO BYE-BYE. 599 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,810 - OH, GOD. 600 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,580 OH, GOD. 601 00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:41,780 OH. OH. 602 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:44,150 OH, GOD. - MMM. 603 00:22:47,750 --> 00:22:50,150 - YOU FORGET YOUR DESSERTS. 604 00:22:50,190 --> 00:22:53,590 I PUT PERFECT. 605 00:22:53,620 --> 00:22:56,490 - THANK YOU, IRMA. 606 00:22:56,530 --> 00:22:57,930 - MMM. 607 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,460 - OH, GOD. 608 00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:01,830 OH, GOD. 609 00:23:01,860 --> 00:23:04,030 - I'M WARNING YOU, 610 00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:07,140 TOMORROW, I'M GONNA BE PRETTY PISSED AT YOU. 611 00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:10,040 BUT, TONIGHT, I'M JUST HIGH-FIVING JESUS 612 00:23:10,070 --> 00:23:11,740 THAT YOU'RE OKAY. 613 00:23:11,770 --> 00:23:13,610 - I'M SORRY ABOUT THE CAR. 614 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:14,740 - IT'S JUST A CAR. 615 00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:15,880 - YOU LOVE THAT CAR. 616 00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:18,210 - NO, I LOVE YOU. 617 00:23:18,250 --> 00:23:20,720 - I LOVE YOU TOO AND I'M SCARED. 618 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,520 - WHY? 619 00:23:22,550 --> 00:23:23,790 - I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE GUILTY. 620 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:26,590 I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO LOOK AT YOU THAT WAY. 621 00:23:26,620 --> 00:23:31,530 I WANT THEM TO KNOW HOW GREAT YOU CAN BE. 622 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,130 - YOU SHOULDN'T BE THINKING ABOUT THAT. 623 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,130 THAT'S TOO MUCH FOR YOUR BRAIN. 624 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,900 ALL YOU SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT IS BOYS 625 00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:39,700 AND ROCK AND ROLL AND STEALING YOUR OLD MAN'S CAR KEYS. 626 00:23:39,740 --> 00:23:43,710 BUT NOT ANYMORE, 'CAUSE I'LL CHOP YOUR HANDS OFF, OKAY? 627 00:23:43,740 --> 00:23:45,740 - IT WAS A NICE DAY, WASN'T IT? 628 00:23:45,770 --> 00:23:48,480 - IT WAS. IT WAS REALLY NICE. 629 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:49,850 IT WAS A PERFECT DAY. 630 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,080 - RIGHT UP UNTIL I RUINED IT. 631 00:23:52,110 --> 00:23:54,480 - YOU DIDN'T RUIN ANYTHING. 632 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,490 YOU JUST MADE A MISTAKE, A REALLY TERRIBLE MISTAKE. 633 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,620 BUT WE ALL DO. 634 00:23:59,660 --> 00:24:00,720 LOOK AT ME. 635 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,230 I TAKE A BREATH, I MAKE A MISTAKE. 636 00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:08,700 THEN WE JUST GET UP AND SHOOT FOR ANOTHER PERFECT DAY. 637 00:24:12,170 --> 00:24:16,070 - I'M GOING TO BE THINKING GOOD THOUGHTS, DAD, ON MONDAY. 638 00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:23,780 - THANK YOU. 639 00:24:39,830 --> 00:24:42,630 HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET HERE? 640 00:24:42,670 --> 00:24:45,300 - I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S YOUR FAULT. 641 00:24:45,330 --> 00:24:47,100 - OH, UNDOUBTEDLY. 642 00:24:47,140 --> 00:24:50,040 I AM CURRENTLY ACCEPTING BLAME FOR EVERYTHING. 643 00:24:50,070 --> 00:24:53,310 VOLCANOES, EARTHQUAKES, OIL SPILLS... 644 00:24:53,340 --> 00:24:56,980 STEROIDS, RAP MUSIC. 645 00:24:57,010 --> 00:24:58,250 IT'S ALL MY FAULT. 646 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,980 - YOU TRICKED ME, YOU KNOW? 647 00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:04,550 YOU TRICKED ME. 648 00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:06,660 I WOULD HEAR THE DOORBELL RING AND I WOULD GO 649 00:25:06,690 --> 00:25:10,290 RUNNING TOWARDS IT AND... 650 00:25:10,330 --> 00:25:13,000 I'D BE THINKING, "I DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS GUY. 651 00:25:13,030 --> 00:25:15,600 THIS IS JUST SOME STUPID FLING." 652 00:25:15,630 --> 00:25:19,770 AND THEN I'D OPEN THE DOOR AND ALL THOSE THOUGHTS 653 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,570 DISAPPEARED BECAUSE... 654 00:25:23,610 --> 00:25:26,210 I'D SEE YOUR SMILE AND I WAS A GONER. 655 00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:31,980 I TRUSTED THAT SMILE. 656 00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:35,780 - HE WAS A GOOD GUY, THAT SMILE. 657 00:25:35,820 --> 00:25:38,150 I DON'T SEE HIM MUCH AROUND ANYMORE. 658 00:25:38,190 --> 00:25:40,290 I MISS HIM. 659 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:41,890 - IT'S SO STRANGE. 660 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,160 JUST CHANGED SO FAST. 661 00:25:45,190 --> 00:25:46,800 ONCE, YOU WERE MY FUTURE. 662 00:25:46,830 --> 00:25:50,300 THEN YOU WERE MY...MISERY. 663 00:25:50,330 --> 00:25:51,800 - HMM. NICE. 664 00:25:51,830 --> 00:25:53,740 - AND NOW YOU'RE ALMOST MY PAST. 665 00:25:53,770 --> 00:25:56,870 - ALMOST. 666 00:25:56,910 --> 00:25:58,310 - WELL, I'M TRYING. 667 00:25:58,340 --> 00:25:59,270 - WELL, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 668 00:25:59,310 --> 00:26:03,310 I'LL ALWAYS BE BUZZING AROUND LIKE A GNAT. 669 00:26:03,350 --> 00:26:09,280 LIKE A WELL-HUNG GNAT... WITH A DREAM. 670 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,760 - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 671 00:26:12,790 --> 00:26:14,990 - YEAH. 672 00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:17,990 I THINK I DO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN 673 00:26:18,030 --> 00:26:21,300 AND I KIND OF HATE THAT I DO. 674 00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:23,130 - ARE YOU READY FOR MONDAY? 675 00:26:23,170 --> 00:26:24,670 - I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT MONDAY. 676 00:26:24,700 --> 00:26:26,770 I JUST WANT TO THINK ABOUT TODAY. 677 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,770 - WELL, TODAY'S GONE. 678 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,840 IT'S TOMORROW ALREADY. 679 00:26:30,870 --> 00:26:33,980 IN A COUPLE HOURS, WE'LL GET UP. 680 00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:37,310 WE'LL DRINK SOME COFFEE, READ THE PAPER, 681 00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:41,350 LAUGH AT ALL YOUR JOKES... 682 00:26:41,380 --> 00:26:44,290 AND TRY TO FORGET THAT THE NEXT DAY ISN'T MONDAY. 683 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,020 AND THEN MONDAY WILL COME 684 00:26:46,050 --> 00:26:51,690 AND WE'LL TAKE BECCA TO SCHOOL. 685 00:26:51,730 --> 00:26:55,230 THEN I'LL TAKE YOU TO COURT... 686 00:26:55,260 --> 00:26:56,730 SO THAT YOU CAN STAND TRIAL 687 00:26:56,770 --> 00:27:01,440 FOR RAPING A TEENAGE GIRL. 688 00:27:01,470 --> 00:27:03,870 BECAUSE THAT IS THE REALITY OF OUR LIVES RIGHT NOW. 689 00:27:08,140 --> 00:27:12,080 I DON'T KNOW HOW WE GOT HERE... 690 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,920 BUT THIS IS WHERE WE ARE. 691 00:27:17,950 --> 00:27:20,890 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 47229

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