All language subtitles for Californication S04E08 Lights. Camera. Asshole

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,490 --> 00:00:08,360 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:08,390 --> 00:00:09,330 [guitar riffs] 3 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,660 - WE COULD ACTUALLY USE A LEAD GUITARIST. 4 00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:13,830 - WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURSELVES? - QUEENS OF DOGTOWN. 5 00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:16,630 - SHIT. FUCK. THE RABBIT DONE DIED. 6 00:00:16,670 --> 00:00:18,440 - SO WHOSE IS IT? - I DON'T KNOW! 7 00:00:18,470 --> 00:00:20,270 - CHARLIE'S? - FUCK, NO! 8 00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,140 THAT KID'S ALL SNIPPED TO SHREDS. 9 00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:23,810 - I'VE HAD A COUPLE OF VASECTOMIES. 10 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:26,640 - WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING HERE, DOC? 11 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,710 THERE STILL COULD BE SWIMMERS IN HIS JUNK? 12 00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,250 - HOW 'BOUT YOU REWRITE THE SCRIPT THAT I LOATHE? 13 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:32,550 - WITH SASHA'S INTEREST, 14 00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:35,250 WE COULD BE AT SUNDANCE THIS TIME NEXT YEAR. 15 00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:36,250 - I'M TRYING TO MAKE THE CHARACTER 16 00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:37,390 A LITTLE MORE LIKEABLE, 17 00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:38,590 'CAUSE ON THE PAGE, HE'S AN ASSHOLE. 18 00:00:38,620 --> 00:00:41,130 - YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE KIND OF TALKING ABOUT ME. 19 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,790 - WANNA KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN I'VE SLEPT WITH? 20 00:00:42,830 --> 00:00:44,260 - MM-MM. NO. NO, NO, NO. 21 00:00:44,290 --> 00:00:46,300 - I GOTTA GET IT UP TO 100. 22 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,270 - I'M MAKIN' MY MOVE. 23 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:50,530 - I'M DROPPING OUT. 24 00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:53,240 - OKAY, SO...NO MOVIE. 25 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,840 WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS? - THE GOOD NEWS 26 00:00:54,870 --> 00:00:56,670 IS THAT I STILL WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU. 27 00:00:56,710 --> 00:00:59,240 AT LEAST ONCE MORE. 28 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,450 - YOU KNOW, THAT IS PRETTY GOOD NEWS. 29 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:08,850 - AI-YOW! 30 00:01:08,890 --> 00:01:12,690 WAAH! HA HA HA! 31 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,560 ZAH! 32 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,560 - ALL RIGHT. YOU GOTTA STOP THAT. 33 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,200 I'M SERIOUS, I FEEL A HATE CRIME COMING ON. 34 00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:24,330 - NO, NO, NO. 35 00:01:24,370 --> 00:01:25,800 DON'T BE HATIN' ON THE GOOD NEWS DANCE. 36 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,670 - DOES THIS MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS? 37 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,670 THEY FINALLY CAME OUT WITH SPANX FOR MEN? 38 00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,880 - NO, SILLY. THAT WAS MONTHS AGO. 39 00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:34,140 I'M WEARING ONE RIGHT NOW, AS A MATTER OF FACT. 40 00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:36,350 YEAH, YEAH, FIRMS MY CHEST. FLATTENS MY TUMMY. 41 00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:39,320 HERE, HERE, FEEL. YOU CAN DO IT, COME ON. 42 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:40,750 - OOH. ROCK HARD. 43 00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:42,290 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 44 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,450 - I'M TALKING ABOUT MYSELF. I'M ROCK HARD RIGHT NOW. 45 00:01:44,490 --> 00:01:47,290 - SO AM I! GET A LOAD OF THIS. 46 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,360 SASHA IS BACK ON BOARD. 47 00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:51,360 - SHA-FA-THA! WHY? WHAT? 48 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:52,330 WHY? 49 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,660 - EDDIE NERO'S ON BOARD. 50 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:55,330 - OH. WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE. 51 00:01:55,370 --> 00:01:57,800 IN A CRASS, SLEAZY, OPPORTUNISTIC KIND OF A WAY. 52 00:01:57,830 --> 00:01:59,170 SURE. 53 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,640 - SASHA BINGHAM IS ALSO STARRING 54 00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:02,910 IN SLOWLY WE ROT DEUX. 55 00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:05,380 - YEAH. THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME. 56 00:02:05,410 --> 00:02:06,910 - IT'S A ZOMBIE-COP-ACTION-THRILLER. 57 00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:09,350 FIRST ONE DID 274 DOMESTIC. 58 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:10,810 - RIGHT ON. SOUNDS LIKE A SHIT SANDWICH, 59 00:02:10,850 --> 00:02:12,780 BUT, HEY, THE GIRL'S GOTTA EAT, RIGHT? 60 00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:13,880 GOOD FOR HER. 61 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,550 - NO, NO, GOOD FOR YOU! 62 00:02:15,590 --> 00:02:17,690 BECAUSE SASHA BINGHAM WANTS HER ONE HANK MOODY 63 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,820 ON SET TO POLISH HER DIALOGUE. 64 00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:21,760 - WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT ONE HANK MOODY 65 00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:23,390 HAS ANY INTEREST IN DOING SUCH A THING? 66 00:02:23,430 --> 00:02:25,830 - THEY GOT 100 GRAND TO SPEND 67 00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:28,200 FOR ONE WEEK'S WORK. 68 00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,500 - A HUNDY LARGE? 69 00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:31,700 THAT IS A MOST EXCELLENT NUMBER OF QUATLOOS! 70 00:02:31,740 --> 00:02:32,900 SOLD! 71 00:02:32,940 --> 00:02:34,740 - GOOD! 'CAUSE I ALREADY SAID YOU'D DO IT! 72 00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:35,840 HA HA HA! 73 00:02:35,870 --> 00:02:37,540 - TURN THAT OVER. - OH, YEAH. 74 00:02:37,570 --> 00:02:38,680 - GIMME THAT. 75 00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:40,210 - SEE, IT'S THE GOOD NEWS DANCE. 76 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,210 [upbeat music] 77 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:49,190 * 78 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,430 - LET ME GUESS. 79 00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:33,830 - SHE'S ASKING FOR YOU. 80 00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:35,430 - TELL HER TO FUCK OFF. I'M SMOKING. 81 00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:37,000 - YOU WANT ME TO TELL HER THAT? 82 00:03:37,030 --> 00:03:39,570 - I'M COMIN'. 83 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,940 THE THINGS WE DO FOR QUATLOOS, HUH? 84 00:03:41,970 --> 00:03:43,970 YOU DON'T-- YOU DON'T GET PAID. 85 00:03:44,010 --> 00:03:45,540 - FIRST TEAM IS READY. 86 00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:46,540 - ACTION! 87 00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:51,450 [extras moaning] 88 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,720 - DIE! DIE, MOTHERFUCKER, DIE! 89 00:03:53,750 --> 00:03:55,720 [gunfire] 90 00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:56,850 - AND CUT. 91 00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:58,960 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO AGAIN RIGHT AWAY. 92 00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:00,320 RESET. 93 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,660 - REALLY? DON'T YOU HAVE IT ALREADY? 94 00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:02,630 - IF I HAD IT ALREADY, 95 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,630 YOU'D BE SECOND-GUESSING ME FROM DOWN HERE 96 00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:06,400 INSTEAD OF UP THERE, OKAY? 97 00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:09,470 - HANK, CAN YOU PITCH ME A BUNCH OF ALTS FOR THIS SCENE? 98 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:11,070 I DON'T THINK MY CHARACTER WOULD SAY THIS SHIT. 99 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:15,610 - UH, FIRST OF ALL, WHO SAYS IT'S YOUR FUCKING CHARACTER? 100 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,770 AND SECONDLY, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. 101 00:04:17,810 --> 00:04:19,310 SAY THE LINE. DON'T SAY THE LINE. 102 00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:22,080 [whispering] I'M GOING ALAN SMITHEE ON THIS BITCH. 103 00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:23,510 [beep] 104 00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,780 - I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS. GET ME DOWN. 105 00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:27,380 - LET'S GO AGAIN, OKAY? RIGHT AWAY, RIGHT? 106 00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:30,050 AND...EVERYBODY. AND ACTION! 107 00:04:30,090 --> 00:04:32,360 [moaning, yelling] 108 00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:33,760 - SUCK MY DICK, ASSHOLE. 109 00:04:33,790 --> 00:04:34,790 - CUT. 110 00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:37,330 GET HER DOWN. 111 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,400 GOT 15 MINUTES, OKAY? 112 00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:41,030 - I DON'T WANT 15 MINUTES. I WANNA GO HOME. 113 00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:44,030 - YOU'RE TELLING ME. FUCKIN' SEQUELS. 114 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,340 - QUICK. WE HAVE 15 MINUTES. 115 00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:56,450 WELL, NOT TOO QUICK. 116 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,080 - I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO WORK ON THE SCENE. 117 00:04:58,110 --> 00:04:59,720 - PLEASE. THERE IS NO FIXING THAT THING. 118 00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:02,520 I JUST WANTED TO PLAY... WITH YOU. 119 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:03,920 - [grunts] AGAIN? 120 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:06,420 I'M STILL A LITTLE SORE FROM THIS MORNING'S PLAYDATE. 121 00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:07,990 - PUSSY. 122 00:05:08,020 --> 00:05:10,430 - YOU KNOW, I'M A WRITER, SASHA, 123 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:12,060 NOT A FUCK TOY. 124 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:13,400 - DON'T LOOK NOW, 125 00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,130 BUT YOUR MANPON STRING IS HANGING OUT. 126 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,570 - AH! YOU SEE THAT? YOU'RE FUNNY. 127 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:17,670 YOU CAN WRITE YOUR OWN STUFF. 128 00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,140 - OF COURSE I CAN. 129 00:05:19,170 --> 00:05:21,910 BUT IT'S SO LONELY. 130 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:23,770 [cell phone rings] 131 00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:25,440 NO. NO. 132 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,440 YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING THAT. DON'T DO IT. 133 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,080 YOU'RE ANSWERING IT! 134 00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:30,950 I'M HATING YOU RIGHT NOW. 135 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,380 - YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE YOU WHEN YOU'RE WORKING. 136 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,050 JUST SAYIN'. HELLO? 137 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,050 WHAT? [sighs] 138 00:05:37,090 --> 00:05:38,420 FUCK ME. 139 00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:39,620 OKAY. JUST CUT HER OFF, 140 00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:41,790 AND I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN. 141 00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,530 FUCK. 142 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,430 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU CAN'T LEAVE. 143 00:05:45,460 --> 00:05:47,460 - MY KID. SHE'S UP TO NO GOOD AGAIN. 144 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,100 I GOTTA GO DEAL WITH HER. - NO, NO, NO, NO. 145 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,870 YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS KID. 146 00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:52,840 YOU'RE BOUGHT AND PAID FOR, MOODY. 147 00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:07,020 NOW, THERE'S THAT WRITER'S MIND AT WORK. 148 00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:08,120 NOW WE'RE TALKIN'. 149 00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,450 - MMM. GET YOUR FREAK ON, OFFICER. 150 00:06:10,490 --> 00:06:12,020 - [giggles] 151 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,630 - NO. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING? 152 00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:23,930 THIS ISN'T FUNNY, ASSHOLE. 153 00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:26,000 FUCK. 154 00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:37,110 - * WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAME HERE TONIGHT * 155 00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:40,920 * I GOT THE FEELIN' THAT SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT * 156 00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:43,790 * I'M SO SCARED IN CASE I FALL OFF MY CHAIR * 157 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,520 - YOU KNOW, BEX, YOU'RE REALLY MAKING ME REGRET 158 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,990 EVER SIGNING YOU UP FOR GUITAR LESSONS. 159 00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:51,930 - I ONLY EVER DID IT BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO. 160 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,130 - REALLY? IT SEEMED TO ME YOU WERE PRETTY INTO IT. 161 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,170 - YEAH. I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. 162 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,140 - WELL PLAYED, YOUNG LADY. WELL PLAYED. 163 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:03,170 YOU'RE REALLY PARTYING LIKE A ROCK STAR THESE DAYS, 164 00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:04,770 AREN'T YA? - OH, YEAH. 165 00:07:04,810 --> 00:07:07,780 I'M A FUCKIN' ROCK STAR, ALL RIGHT. 166 00:07:07,810 --> 00:07:11,150 CAN'T EVEN CONVINCE A BOY TO LET ME GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB. 167 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,950 - [chokes] 168 00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:14,250 BECCA-- 169 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,890 - WHAT? 170 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,190 I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE HONEST? 171 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,760 ISN'T THAT THE MOODY FAMILY THING? 172 00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:23,260 OUR MOST PRIZED VIRTUE? 173 00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:25,190 THE HONESTY. 174 00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:26,130 - GO AHEAD, BE HONEST. 175 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,570 GIVE YOUR FATHER A MASSIVE CORONARY EVENT. 176 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,770 - I'M NOT A HAPPY CAMPER, DAD. 177 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,670 - REALLY? I HADN'T NOTICED. 178 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,870 - I DON'T LIKE HOW THINGS ARE CHANGING. 179 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:37,240 YOU'RE NEVER AROUND. 180 00:07:37,270 --> 00:07:40,040 BUT I'M NOT SURE I EVEN MISS YOU. 181 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:44,010 - I'LL ALWAYS BE YOUR FATHER. 182 00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:46,750 - [giggles] NO DUH, DAD. 183 00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:50,020 BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? 184 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,890 AND YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY SCARES ME? 185 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,660 - WHAT? 186 00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:57,230 - I LIKE BEING FUCKED UP. 187 00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:59,230 NOW MORE THAN EVER. 188 00:07:59,260 --> 00:08:02,030 IS THAT A KID THING? 189 00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:04,630 OR A GENETIC THING? 190 00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:07,870 'CAUSE I'M STARTING TO GET IT NOW. 191 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:11,140 THINGS ARE WAY FUNNIER WHEN I'M HIGH. 192 00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:15,850 AND THE SAD STUFF IS JUST... WAY LESS SAD. 193 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,110 IT'S ALMOST... 194 00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:20,150 ROMANTIC. 195 00:08:20,180 --> 00:08:24,590 - ARE YOU OKAY? - I'M FINE! 196 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:26,960 WHAT IS THE BIG FUCKING DEAL? 197 00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:28,890 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T DONE THIS BEFORE, 198 00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,630 TWI--ONCE. 199 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:32,630 IN COLLEGE. 200 00:08:32,660 --> 00:08:34,630 - RIGHT. 201 00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,330 SO LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, 202 00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:39,070 SOMETHING PLEASANT, SOMETHING WITH, UH... 203 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:42,310 RAINBOWS AND...UNICORNS. 204 00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:44,640 - STU ASKED ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. 205 00:08:44,670 --> 00:08:45,810 - HE DID? 206 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,640 WELL, I MEAN, THAT'S EXCITING. 207 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,780 - HAVE YOU MET STU? - NO. 208 00:08:49,810 --> 00:08:51,280 BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET ME. 209 00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:52,980 - YEAH, BECAUSE YOU'LL JUDGE ME. 210 00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:54,080 - THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 211 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,090 I'VE BEEN JUDGING YOU FOR YEARS. 212 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,320 - JESUS! 213 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,090 THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A LATE-TERM ABORTION. 214 00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:04,830 IS THAT SHIT EVEN LEGAL? 215 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:07,030 - [whispers] MARCY, I DON'T THINK EVERYONE IS HERE 216 00:09:07,060 --> 00:09:08,700 TO HAVE AN ABORTION. 217 00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:11,100 - YOU NEVER KNOW, KAREN. 218 00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:12,900 JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT 219 00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:15,140 DOESN'T MEAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT SHIT. 220 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:18,310 SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY. - YEAH, SHE DOES. 221 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:21,080 - I HAVE NEVER BEEN THAT HAPPY. 222 00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:24,110 - OH. JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S AHEAD OF HER. 223 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,720 - WELL... 224 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,620 WHAT IF THIS IS IT? 225 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:31,020 WHAT IF THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE AT BEING TRULY HAPPY 226 00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:33,790 AND I'M JUST SNUFFING IT OUT BECAUSE IT'S INCONVENIENT? 227 00:09:33,820 --> 00:09:36,190 - MARCE, YOU KNOW WHAT? 228 00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:38,960 YOU'VE CHANGED THIS APPOINTMENT A BUNCH OF TIMES. 229 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,760 I THINK YOU NEED TO FACE THE FACT 230 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,970 THAT THERE'S A PART OF YOU THAT WANTS TO HAVE A BABY. 231 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,300 - BUT THAT'S THE THING... I DON'T. 232 00:09:46,340 --> 00:09:49,170 I HATE KIDS. THEY'RE ANNOYING LITTLE SHITS. 233 00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:51,140 - SHH. - IT'S A TERRIBLE BURDEN. 234 00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:53,280 - RUNKLE? 235 00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:54,910 MARCY RUNKLE? 236 00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:57,650 - [quietly] WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, BABY? 237 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,050 - MARCY RUNKLE? 238 00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:17,130 - WOW. LOOK AT YOU. 239 00:10:17,170 --> 00:10:19,140 WHAT ARE YOU-- YOU'RE SUCH A REGULAR, 240 00:10:19,170 --> 00:10:21,270 YOU JUST WALK ON IN, THEY SLIDE YOU YOUR DRINK, 241 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,040 NO QUESTIONS ASKED? 242 00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:24,370 - MEMBERSHIP HAS ITS PRIVILEGES, LADY. 243 00:10:24,410 --> 00:10:25,810 - OH. 244 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,440 - AND I HAVE NO SHAME. I NEED THIS DRINK. 245 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,310 AND I WILL NEED ANOTHER SHORTLY THEREAFTER. 246 00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,120 - BAD DAY? 247 00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:35,180 - MEDIUM SHITTY, YEAH. 248 00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,990 - I HEAR THAT. 249 00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:39,420 - NO STRANGER TO MISERY, ARE YA? 250 00:10:39,460 --> 00:10:42,830 I LIKE THAT IN A WOMAN SITTING ALONE AT A BAR. 251 00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:44,190 TELL ME ALL YOUR TROUBLES. 252 00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,830 TELL ME WHAT AILS YOU. 253 00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:48,130 - NO. IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF BORING KID STUFF. 254 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,700 - I GOT SOME OF THAT SHIT TOO. 255 00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:51,900 - THAT'S NOT A LINE? - NO, NO, NO. 256 00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:53,900 I GOT PLENTY OF BORING, ANGSTY KID SHIT 257 00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:55,740 THAT KEEPS ME AWAKE AT NIGHT. 258 00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:57,040 AT LEAST UNTIL I PASS OUT. 259 00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:58,910 - HMM. 260 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:00,840 BOY? GIRL? 261 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,050 - GIRL MAKES IT SOUND SO PLEASANT. 262 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,910 I HAVE ONE BIG PAIN-IN-THE-ASS 263 00:11:04,950 --> 00:11:06,180 TEENAGE DAUGHTER. 264 00:11:06,220 --> 00:11:08,890 - OH, MY GOD. THAT'S THE WORST. 265 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,190 - WORD. - HMM. 266 00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:13,460 - WELL, HERE'S TO, UH... 267 00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:15,320 DIFFICULT DAUGHTERS. 268 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,330 - CHEERS. [clink] 269 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,200 - AND, UH... 270 00:11:19,230 --> 00:11:21,400 HERE'S TO MOTHERS WHO DRINK WITH STRANGERS. 271 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,730 - AH, CHEERS, CHEERS. 272 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:38,380 [knocking on glass] 273 00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:57,330 - GOOD EVENING. 274 00:11:57,370 --> 00:11:59,200 - I'M SORRY. THE GATE WAS OPEN. 275 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,370 - NO, I'M SORRY. ABOUT EVERYTHING. 276 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,340 - I'M PEGGY, YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENT. 277 00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:04,840 - RIGHT, RIGHT. 278 00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:06,380 MARCY SAYS NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU. 279 00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:09,310 - WELL...I'M NOT SURE SHE WILL ANYMORE. 280 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:12,420 - WHY'S THAT? 281 00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:14,250 - WELL, DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER, BUT... 282 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,120 THE HOUSE HAS FALLEN OUT OF ESCROW. 283 00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:18,150 - OF COURSE IT HAS! 284 00:12:18,190 --> 00:12:19,390 - THE BUYERS COULDN'T GET A LOAN. 285 00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:21,360 - OF COURSE THEY COULDN'T. 286 00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:24,330 - IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME TO PUT IT BACK UP ON THE MARKET. 287 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,900 - OKAY. UM...WELL, UH... 288 00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:28,830 I-I'LL TALK TO MARCY, 289 00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:31,800 AND WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU. 290 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,840 - OKAY. 291 00:12:36,970 --> 00:12:39,810 WHAT ADULT FILM WERE YOU WATCHING? 292 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,480 - EXCUSE ME? 293 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,550 - YOU WERE WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, WEREN'T YOU? 294 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,880 - I WAS. YES. 295 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,480 - WHAT KIND? 296 00:12:49,190 --> 00:12:50,950 OH, YOU MUST THINK I'M SUCH A SLUT. 297 00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:52,220 - NO, NO, NO, NOT AT ALL. 298 00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:54,290 - YOU MUST. CALL ME ONE--I INSIST. 299 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,830 - OH, YOU LIKE THAT. - UH-HUH. 300 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,490 - OKAY. OH, YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING SLUT. 301 00:12:57,530 --> 00:12:58,490 - OH! [slap] 302 00:12:58,530 --> 00:13:00,030 - OW! WHAT THE FUCK? 303 00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:01,500 - YOU CAN CHOKE ME IF YOU WANT TO. 304 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,230 - NO, NO, I'M REALLY NOT INTO THAT. 305 00:13:03,270 --> 00:13:06,070 I HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIA RECENTLY. 306 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,470 - REALLY? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT. 307 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:11,110 - SOME OTHER TIME, OKAY? - I JUST WANNA FEEL SOMETHING! 308 00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:12,980 OH! OHH! 309 00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,240 PRETEND MY FATHER COULD WALK IN AT ANY SECOND. 310 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,480 - THIS IS MY HOUSE. - JUST PRETEND! 311 00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:19,250 - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 312 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,350 I THINK I HEAR YOUR FATHER IN THE HALLWAY. 313 00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:23,350 - OH, NO, I WANNA STOP, BUT I CAN'T! 314 00:13:23,390 --> 00:13:26,590 YOUR BIG BLACK COCK FEELS SO GOOD! 315 00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:29,060 - YEAH? THAT'S HIM. THERE HE IS. 316 00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:30,960 I SEE HIM COMING IN THE ROOM. 317 00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:33,600 - DADDY, NO! I'M A BIG GIRL NOW. 318 00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:36,230 - IS HE STILL HERE? - NO, HE WENT TO GET HIS GUN. 319 00:13:36,270 --> 00:13:38,570 - AAH! 320 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,970 [both moaning] 321 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,940 - HE'S GONNA KILL BOTH OF US, CHARLIE. 322 00:13:42,970 --> 00:13:45,570 DADDY DOESN'T LIKE IT WHEN I FUCK THE SLAVES. 323 00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:47,380 [gasps] 324 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:51,110 [panting] 325 00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:53,980 OH, GOD, THAT WAS FUCKING INTENSE. 326 00:13:54,020 --> 00:13:57,090 I ALMOST WANTED TO FUCK YOU TO DEATH. 327 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,120 BUT IN A GOOD WAY, YOU KNOW? 328 00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,360 - WHOO! - [giggles] 329 00:14:04,390 --> 00:14:06,500 - YES. 330 00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:08,100 YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU? 331 00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:10,630 - HMM? 332 00:14:10,670 --> 00:14:12,470 I MEAN, ASIDE FROM THE FACT 333 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:15,100 THAT YOU'RE LIKE SEVEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF NAKED RIGHT NOW. 334 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:17,270 - OH, MY GOD. 335 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:20,380 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW NICE THAT SOUNDS? 336 00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:23,410 YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE A GUY HAS SAID THAT TO ME? 337 00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:25,250 I'M SORRY, GO AHEAD. WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY? 338 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,480 WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT ME? - YOU'RE VERY AGE-APPROPRIATE. 339 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,650 - [laughs] 340 00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:33,390 WOW. YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO PISS ALL OVER 341 00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:35,390 A GIRL'S HAPPY BUZZ. - NO, NO, THAT'S A GOOD THING. 342 00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:37,660 I THINK IT MEANS MAYBE I'M GROWIN' THE FUCK UP. 343 00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:42,370 - THAT'S VERY GOOD FOR YOU. - YEP. 344 00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:50,110 - BUT I AM LEAVING FOR NEW YORK IN A COUPLE DAYS. 345 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,310 - I DIDN'T MEAN TO SUGGEST 346 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,940 THAT WE HAD A FUTURE OR ANYTHING. 347 00:14:52,980 --> 00:14:55,110 - YOU REALLY ARE QUITE THE ROMANTIC, AREN'T YOU? 348 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,150 - FUCK. EVERYTHING'S COMING OUT WRONG THIS MORNING. 349 00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,180 - I KNOW. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, 350 00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,380 YOU'RE GONNA SAY SOMETHING LESS THAN FLATTERING 351 00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:03,250 ABOUT MY ASS. - NOPE. NO WAY. 352 00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:05,190 THAT THING IS BULLETPROOF. - [giggling] 353 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:07,660 - THAT IS AN ASS WRAPPED IN KEVLAR. 354 00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:09,290 IF YOU SAID TO ME, "HANK... 355 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:11,030 ALL YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW IS EAT THAT ASS," 356 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:14,100 I WOULD PUT ON A LOBSTER BIB AND EAT THAT ASS. 357 00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,370 FOR HOURS. [slaps] WITH GUSTO. 358 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,540 - THANK YOU. MY ASS THANKS YOU. 359 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,270 - YOUR ASS IS WELCOME. 360 00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:26,110 - AND DON'T WORRY. I HAD A LITTLE BIT OF FUN. 361 00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:28,380 - A LITTLE BIT OF FUN IT WAS. 362 00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:30,610 - AND, UH, I THINK THAT WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN. 363 00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:32,580 'CAUSE YOU KNOW... 364 00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,550 I'M HERE A COUPLE TIMES A YEAR, 365 00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,090 CHECKING UP ON MY DAUGHTER. 366 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,550 - YEAH? 367 00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:39,160 WHAT DOES SHE DO? 368 00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:41,120 [door thuds shut] 369 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,560 [knock on door] 370 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,400 - AAH! 371 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,740 NOT A GOOD TIME. 372 00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:55,040 - DON'T WORRY, GIRLY MAN. 373 00:15:55,070 --> 00:15:56,670 I'M ALL ABOUT THE WORK RIGHT NOW. 374 00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:58,240 - YEAH, WELL, I'VE KINDA GOT SOME... 375 00:15:58,270 --> 00:16:01,110 COMPANY. - OH...I SEE. 376 00:16:01,140 --> 00:16:04,110 IT'S COOL. I KNOW WE'RE NOT EXCLUSIVE. 377 00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:05,710 I SEE OTHER PEOPLE TOO, YOU KNOW? 378 00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:08,380 - MM. YEAH, WELL, I KNOW THAT. 379 00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:10,220 COURSE YOU DO. 380 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:13,120 YEAH, BUT LIKE... HOW MANY? 381 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,660 - I'M NOT SOME BIG FUCKING SLUT, HANK. 382 00:16:14,690 --> 00:16:16,360 - OH, NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT JUDGING. 383 00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:17,790 I'M JUST-- I'M JUST CURIOUS. 384 00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:19,800 - WELL, I DID SLEEP WITH EDDIE NERO. 385 00:16:19,830 --> 00:16:22,530 - GROSS! THAT IS DISGUSTING! 386 00:16:22,570 --> 00:16:24,130 HE POOPS ON PEOPLE. 387 00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:27,400 AND HE TOOK A MAN IN HIS MOUTH ONCE. 388 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,810 [imitates gagging] 389 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,140 - OKAY, COME ON. 390 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,510 I NEED TO GO OVER TODAY'S PAGES. 391 00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:35,040 I CAN'T SAY THIS SHIT. IT'S ALL EXPOSITION. 392 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,710 [continues gagging] 393 00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,350 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU MY NOTES, 394 00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,380 AND I HAVE TO GO MEET MY MOTHER FOR BREAKFAST. 395 00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:42,720 - YOUR MOTHER? 396 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,250 - YEAH, SHE'S IN TOWN FROM NEW YORK. 397 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:45,790 SHE COMES IN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE TO CHECK ON ME 398 00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:47,520 AND MAKE SURE I'M GROUNDED. 399 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,390 - YOUR MOM. 400 00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:51,090 UH... 401 00:16:51,130 --> 00:16:52,530 - ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE? 402 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,460 - EH... - YOU SOUND KIND OF RETARDED 403 00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,070 ALL OF A SUDDEN. - MAMA. 404 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,100 - I SAW WE GO ONCE MORE, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, I DO NOT THINK 405 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,800 THAT I SUCKED ENOUGH OF YOUR DICK LAST NIGHT. 406 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,840 [stutters] SASHA! 407 00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:05,410 - MOM? 408 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,280 - MOM? - [strangled] UH... 409 00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:09,550 - YOU FUCKED MY MOM? 410 00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:11,150 - OH! 411 00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:13,680 DUDE! THAT WAS SERIOUSLY UNCOOL! 412 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:18,520 - I THINK I--I GOTTA GO AFTER HER. 413 00:17:18,550 --> 00:17:19,690 - YEAH, I THINK YOU BETTER PUT ON 414 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,220 SOME CLOTHES FIRST, THOUGH. 415 00:17:21,260 --> 00:17:23,760 - OH! GOOD IDEA. 416 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:26,660 I...H-HOW DO YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER? 417 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,260 - I'M KINDA WRITING SOMETHING FOR HER. 418 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:30,100 - POOR BABY. - YEAH, IT TURNS OUT 419 00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:31,800 SHE'S REALLY QUITE THE FUCKING DIVA, HUH? 420 00:17:31,830 --> 00:17:33,270 - NO. POOR BABY HER. 421 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,670 IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW OLD YOU GET, 422 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,540 IT'S ALWAYS GONNA BE REALLY WEIRD 423 00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:39,110 TO SEE YOUR MOTHER IN A SEXUAL SITUATION. 424 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,380 - YEAH. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY 425 00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:43,150 BEEN WITH THE AWESOME DUDE YOUR MOM JUST BONED. 426 00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,350 - RIGHT. - YEAH. 427 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,420 - WHAT? - WHAT? 428 00:17:49,450 --> 00:17:51,390 - I'M SORRY, DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU SAID, 429 00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:52,860 WHICH IS THAT YOU SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER? 430 00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:54,190 - NO, NO, NO. 431 00:17:54,220 --> 00:17:55,320 - NO, YOU'RE LYING NOW, BECAUSE YOU DID. 432 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,390 - YOU MISUNDERSTOOD. 433 00:17:56,430 --> 00:17:59,530 I WAS MERELY TALKING ABOUT WRITERS AND ACTRESSES 434 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,330 AND MARILYN MONROE AND ARTHUR MILLER 435 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:04,300 AND HOW THAT SHIT NEVER SEEMS TO WORK OUT. 436 00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:05,600 - SHE'S A FUCKING KID! 437 00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:07,370 YOU FUCKED MY FUCKING KID. 438 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,270 THAT'S NOT VERY AGE-APPROPRIATE, NOW IS IT, YOU ASSHOLE? 439 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:11,840 - TOUCHE. 440 00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:18,880 - SASHA, DEAR...HELLO. 441 00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:21,420 CAN YOU COME OUT AND PLAY? 442 00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:24,190 IT'S QUITE WARM OUT HERE. DO YOU KNOW WHY? 443 00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:27,220 BECAUSE WE'RE BURNING MONEY. IT'S A BONFIRE OF CASH. 444 00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:31,590 I'M FUCKED. MY CAREER IS OVER. 445 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:34,600 - SETTLE DOWN, ALFRED BITCHCOCK. LET ME TRY. 446 00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:36,800 - YOU DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HER, DID YOU? 447 00:18:36,830 --> 00:18:40,370 - NO WAY. THAT'S WHAT THE EXTRAS ARE FOR. 448 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,770 [pounding] SASHA. 449 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,210 IT'S HENRY MOODY. 450 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,210 THE WRITER. REMEMBER ME? 451 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,680 THE POLISHER OF YOUR CRACKLING EXPOSITION. 452 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,580 I'D LIKE A WORD WITH YOU, PLEASE. 453 00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:52,380 ONE WORD. 454 00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:54,180 [click] 455 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,180 AH. 456 00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,390 [door slams] 457 00:18:57,950 --> 00:18:59,560 IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, 458 00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:02,430 YOUR MOTHER SMACKED ME UPSIDE THE HEAD PRETTY GOOD. 459 00:19:02,460 --> 00:19:05,490 AND MY BALLS ARE KILLING ME. 460 00:19:05,530 --> 00:19:07,300 - I'M JUST GROSSED OUT RIGHT NOW. 461 00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:09,970 - WELL, THAT'S-- THAT'S PRETTY NORMAL. 462 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,770 - HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? 463 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,440 - WELL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, 464 00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:15,970 I ONCE BUMPED UGLIES WITH MY DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER. 465 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,370 THAT WAS A TERRIBLE TIME. WE GOT THROUGH IT, THOUGH. 466 00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:19,710 THIS TOO SHALL PASS. 467 00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,440 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS? 468 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,650 - NO. BUT TELL ME. 469 00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:28,280 - I WAS REALLY STARTING TO LIKE YOU. 470 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,220 - OH. WELL... 471 00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:31,550 DESPITE THE FACT THAT I AM 472 00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:33,420 THIS SWIRLING BLACK HOLE OF CHAOS, 473 00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:35,390 I AM PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME SOMETIMES. 474 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,230 - BEST SEX OF MY LIFE. - REALLY? 475 00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,300 BETTER THAN EDDIE NERO? 476 00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:44,800 - WEIRDEST SEX OF MY LIFE. - I DON'T WANNA KNOW. 477 00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:46,700 DO I? - NO. YOU DON'T. 478 00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:49,870 I'M STILL HAUNTED BY IT. - HMM! 479 00:19:49,910 --> 00:19:52,780 - THE THINGS HE MADE ME DO. - JESUS! 480 00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:54,840 HEY, DON'T BLAME YOUR MOM... 481 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,980 BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING, 482 00:19:57,010 --> 00:19:59,250 AND DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THESE GOOD PEOPLE OUT THERE. 483 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,980 THEY WORK THEIR FUCKING ASSES OFF. 484 00:20:01,020 --> 00:20:03,690 YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY YOU'RE SASHA FUCKING BINGHAM, 485 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,750 AMERICA'S SWEETHEART, THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, 486 00:20:05,790 --> 00:20:07,320 THE DIRTY GIRL NEXT DOOR. 487 00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:09,990 THAT'S THE BESTEST KIND. 488 00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:11,830 UH-OH. 489 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,000 MMM... 490 00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:17,630 - WEIRD? - ODDLY, NO. 491 00:20:17,670 --> 00:20:20,400 BUT I'M REALLY GOOD AT COMPARTMENTALIZING SHIT. 492 00:20:26,910 --> 00:20:29,580 YOU ARE ONE DIRTY COP. 493 00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:32,320 SOMETIMES I HATE MY CONSCIENCE... 494 00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:33,920 WHOA! 495 00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:35,980 BUT RIGHT NOW IT'S TELLING ME 496 00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:37,990 THAT THIS MAY NOT BE THE BEST IDEA. 497 00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:39,860 - YEAH? WELL, IT'S THE ONLY WAY 498 00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:41,720 YOU'RE GONNA GET ME BACK OUT THERE. 499 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,890 - OH, WELL. IN THAT CASE... 500 00:20:52,940 --> 00:20:53,900 HEY! 501 00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:57,740 WELL... 502 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,450 THIS IS A FINE HOW-DO-YOU-DO. 503 00:21:14,590 --> 00:21:16,560 - WE NEED TO TALK BUSINESS, MARCY. 504 00:21:16,590 --> 00:21:18,460 - WHAT? 505 00:21:18,490 --> 00:21:21,030 OKAY. 506 00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:23,970 - I MEAN, IF YOU'RE GONNA DO IT, JUST DO IT. 507 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,640 I'M A MAN. SORTA. 508 00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:29,640 I MEAN, I-I CAN TAKE IT. I THINK. 509 00:21:29,670 --> 00:21:31,870 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, STU? 510 00:21:31,910 --> 00:21:34,880 - IT'S JUST YOU'RE SO QUIET, AND THAT IS WEIRD. 511 00:21:34,910 --> 00:21:38,480 I MEAN, USUALLY YOU'RE YAKKING UP A STORM AND... 512 00:21:38,510 --> 00:21:41,720 I'VE BECOME QUITE FOND OF THAT OBSCENE VERBAL DIARRHEA. 513 00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:43,550 - THAT'S LOVELY. 514 00:21:43,590 --> 00:21:45,420 AND DISGUSTING, STU. THANKS. 515 00:21:45,450 --> 00:21:46,790 - IN MY EXPERIENCE, 516 00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:48,820 WHEN A WOMAN HAS RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY TO ME, 517 00:21:48,860 --> 00:21:50,130 DONE. 518 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,860 TIME TO THROW ANOTHER EX-WIFE ON THE FIRE. 519 00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:55,030 - I WASN'T PLANNING ON BREAKING UP WITH YOU, STU. 520 00:21:55,060 --> 00:21:58,000 NOT ANYTIME SOON, ANYWAY. 521 00:21:58,030 --> 00:22:02,000 - WELL, I'M GUESSING YOU'RE NOT MOVING IN WITH ME. 522 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,410 - LOOK, MAN, WE COULD TALK ABOUT 523 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,540 THE SHACKING UP SHIT LATER, OKAY? 524 00:22:07,580 --> 00:22:09,780 [clears throat] 525 00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:13,650 BUT I DO... HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. 526 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,780 - IT'S MY PENIS, ISN'T IT? 527 00:22:15,820 --> 00:22:17,650 - WHAT? - THE SIZE. 528 00:22:17,690 --> 00:22:20,060 IT HURTS YOU, DOESN'T IT? GOD DAMN IT! 529 00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:22,590 - NO! YOUR PENIS IS FINE, STU. 530 00:22:22,630 --> 00:22:24,060 - FINE? FINE? 531 00:22:24,090 --> 00:22:27,130 - YES. FINE. IN A GOOD WAY. 532 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,830 IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY. 533 00:22:28,860 --> 00:22:31,400 I MEAN, AND I'VE SEEN SOME WEIRD, FUCKED-UP WANGS 534 00:22:31,430 --> 00:22:33,170 IN MY DAY, SO GOOD ON YOU. 535 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,440 - OKAY. 536 00:22:35,470 --> 00:22:37,870 THEN HONESTY IT IS... OKAY? 537 00:22:37,910 --> 00:22:39,740 COME ON, BABY. GO FOR IT. 538 00:22:39,780 --> 00:22:40,980 I'M ALL EARS. 539 00:22:43,610 --> 00:22:45,180 - [groans] 540 00:22:45,210 --> 00:22:46,980 I'M PREGNANT. 541 00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:03,130 - [sobbing] 542 00:23:03,170 --> 00:23:05,570 - OH, GOD, STU. PLEASE DON'T CRY. 543 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,900 NO. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! 544 00:23:07,940 --> 00:23:11,140 - NOT WHAT I THINK? IT'S NOT A FUCKING MIRACLE? 545 00:23:11,170 --> 00:23:14,710 - HARDLY. - I'M GONNA BE A FATHER! 546 00:23:14,740 --> 00:23:15,940 - NO. STU! STUART! 547 00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:18,450 YOU ARE NOT LETTING ME TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON. 548 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:19,780 - YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT KEEPING IT? 549 00:23:19,820 --> 00:23:21,880 YOU'RE GONNA GET RID OF IT? - NO. I'M KEEPING IT. 550 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,050 - OH, THANK GOD, THANK GOD. 551 00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:24,620 - I THOUGHT ABOUT DOING THE DEED, 552 00:23:24,650 --> 00:23:26,150 BUT I COULDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT. 553 00:23:26,190 --> 00:23:28,160 BUT THERE IS THIS OTHER THING. 554 00:23:28,190 --> 00:23:29,190 - OW! WHAT? 555 00:23:29,220 --> 00:23:31,990 - CHARLIE. - RUNKLE? OH, GOD! 556 00:23:32,030 --> 00:23:33,560 I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT. 557 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,000 OH, MY GOD, HE MUST BE SO UPSET! 558 00:23:35,030 --> 00:23:36,470 POOR BASTARD! 559 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,770 - WELL-- [cell phone rings] 560 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:39,770 - AH! 561 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,140 IT'S MOTHER! 562 00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:43,470 - OH. - WHAT AM I GONNA TELL HER? 563 00:23:43,510 --> 00:23:45,840 I GOTTA TELL HER THE TRUTH, OBVIOUSLY. 564 00:23:45,870 --> 00:23:47,840 - OBVIOUSLY. - HELLO, MOTHER? 565 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,780 GUESS WHAT. 566 00:23:49,810 --> 00:23:51,880 I'M GONNA BE A FATHER. 567 00:23:51,910 --> 00:23:53,480 [laughing] YEAH! 568 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:57,050 TALK ABOUT THE GODDAMN CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! 569 00:23:57,090 --> 00:24:00,060 [soft rock in background] 570 00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:06,060 * 571 00:24:10,170 --> 00:24:12,230 - OH, BOY. 572 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,870 - FUCKING KIDS. 573 00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:21,040 - THEY'RE JUST A TERRIBLE BURDEN, AREN'T THEY? 574 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,750 - EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'RE LOSING THE WAR? 575 00:24:22,780 --> 00:24:25,780 - UM, YEAH. I THINK THAT I'M IN TOUCH WITH THAT EMOTION. 576 00:24:25,810 --> 00:24:28,020 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? 577 00:24:29,650 --> 00:24:30,890 - HOPE FOR THE BEST. 578 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,960 PLAN FOR THE WORST AND... 579 00:24:32,990 --> 00:24:34,690 SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. 580 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:35,690 I DON'T KNOW-- JUST EMBRACE THE FACT 581 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,860 THAT WE'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING HYPOCRITES. 582 00:24:37,890 --> 00:24:38,930 - TRUE DAT. 583 00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:41,160 - OH. 584 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,730 - I STILL HATE YOU. - I KNOW, I KNOW. 585 00:24:43,770 --> 00:24:47,070 - BUT I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I'M IN OVER MY HEAD 586 00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:48,970 AND I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY SHIT. 587 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,170 - HONEY...COME HERE. IT'S OKAY. 588 00:24:51,210 --> 00:24:53,640 LISTEN. 589 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,580 WHAT SAY YOU TO A COUPLE OF 590 00:24:56,610 --> 00:24:57,880 ROOM SERVICE BURGERS 591 00:24:57,910 --> 00:24:59,980 AND AN $18 HOTEL MOVIE? 592 00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:01,880 - THAT SOUNDS PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME. 593 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,150 CAN I COME? 594 00:25:03,190 --> 00:25:04,750 - I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW. 595 00:25:04,790 --> 00:25:06,860 - SURE. I GET IT. 596 00:25:06,890 --> 00:25:07,860 - BUT IF I WERE, 597 00:25:07,890 --> 00:25:10,890 I'D PROBABLY APOLOGIZE FOR MY BEHAVIOR TODAY. 598 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:14,760 - WELL, IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY SPEAKING TO ME 599 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,770 AND YOU ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT, 600 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,040 I MIGHT EVEN RESPOND BY SAYING THAT I DESERVED IT. 601 00:25:20,070 --> 00:25:25,170 AND MAYBE I'D EVEN APOLOGIZE AND SAY THAT I WAS SORRY... 602 00:25:25,210 --> 00:25:26,880 FOR EVERYTHING. 603 00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:29,810 - MAYBE? - DEFINITELY. 604 00:25:31,850 --> 00:25:33,220 - I'LL SEE YOU UPSTAIRS. 605 00:25:33,250 --> 00:25:35,220 - YES. I'LL BE UP IN A SECOND. 606 00:25:45,190 --> 00:25:48,160 YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY. - HMM? 607 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,600 - IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW RICH, HOW FAMOUS. 608 00:25:50,630 --> 00:25:52,170 THEY'RE ALL JUST LITTLE KIDS 609 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,240 WHO NEED THEIR MOMMIES AND THEIR DADDIES. 610 00:25:54,270 --> 00:25:56,670 - HERE'S HOPING. 611 00:25:56,710 --> 00:25:59,370 - AND I KNOW I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU THAT WELL, 612 00:25:59,410 --> 00:26:00,940 SO...THIS MIGHT BE OUT OF LINE, 613 00:26:00,980 --> 00:26:02,650 BUT I'M GONNA SAY IT ANYWAY. 614 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:03,780 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO. - I'M GONNA. 615 00:26:03,810 --> 00:26:04,980 - ALL RIGHT. 616 00:26:05,010 --> 00:26:08,650 - YOU...ARE COMING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE 617 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,850 TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN. 618 00:26:10,890 --> 00:26:12,920 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 619 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,020 - THIS THING THAT YOU GOT GOING... 620 00:26:15,060 --> 00:26:19,660 IT'S VERY ROMANTIC AND CHARMING AND CERTAINLY DEVIL-MAY-CARE. 621 00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:20,960 BUT... 622 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,030 IT'S LAST CALL, PAL. 623 00:26:24,070 --> 00:26:27,900 YOU SHOULD GET OUT WHILE THE GETTING'S GOOD. 624 00:26:27,940 --> 00:26:30,270 - WHAT IF IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE? 625 00:26:31,770 --> 00:26:33,180 - OH. WELL... 626 00:26:33,210 --> 00:26:34,980 COULD BE. I DON'T KNOW. 627 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:36,950 CERTAINLY DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU SHOULDN'T TRY. 628 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,320 MEANWHILE... [clears throat] 629 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:43,320 WHY DON'T YOU... 630 00:26:43,350 --> 00:26:45,790 KEEP YOUR GRUBBY FUCKING PAWS OFF MY DAUGHTER, YEAH? 631 00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:47,660 - YES, MA'AM. 632 00:26:47,690 --> 00:26:50,760 [Motley Crue's Home Sweet Home playing] 633 00:26:50,790 --> 00:26:53,430 - * TAKE ME TO YOUR HEART 634 00:26:53,460 --> 00:26:57,670 * FEEL ME IN YOUR BONES 635 00:26:57,700 --> 00:26:59,700 * JUST ONE MORE NIGHT 636 00:26:59,740 --> 00:27:02,340 * AND I'M COMIN' OFF THIS 637 00:27:02,370 --> 00:27:04,440 * LONG AND WINDY ROAD 638 00:27:04,470 --> 00:27:05,440 - [whistle] 639 00:27:05,470 --> 00:27:08,040 - YEAH! - YEAH! 640 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:12,050 crowd: * I'M ON MY WAY 641 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,050 * I'M ON MY WAY 642 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,320 * HOME SWEET HOME 643 00:27:18,350 --> 00:27:20,160 * 644 00:27:20,190 --> 00:27:22,460 * TONIGHT, TONIGHT 645 00:27:22,490 --> 00:27:25,990 * I'M ON MY WAY 646 00:27:26,030 --> 00:27:29,060 * I'M ON MY WAY 647 00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:32,270 * HOME SWEET HOME 648 00:27:32,300 --> 00:27:33,340 - WHOO! - [whistle] 649 00:27:33,370 --> 00:27:36,470 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 650 00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:40,210 - * YOU KNOW THAT I'VE SEEN * 651 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:44,450 * TOO MANY ROMANTIC DREAMS 652 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,080 * SOMETIMES NOTHIN' 653 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:49,080 * KEEPS ME TOGETHER 654 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:51,190 * AT THE SEAMS 655 00:27:51,220 --> 00:27:54,820 * I'M ON MY WAY 656 00:27:54,860 --> 00:27:58,030 * JUST SET ME FREE 657 00:27:58,060 --> 00:28:01,930 * HOME SWEET HOME 658 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,930 [light piano notes] 659 00:28:04,970 --> 00:28:08,700 * 45551

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