All language subtitles for Californication S03E04 Zoso

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:11,160 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,600 - SO THIS IS WHERE YOU WORK? - YOU WANT TO COME INSIDE? 3 00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:15,530 - WOULD THAT INVOLVE SEEING YOU NAKED? 4 00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:17,270 - OH, MOST DEFINITELY. - I THINK NOT. 5 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:20,340 IN THE INTEREST OF STUDENT-TEACHER RELATIONS. 6 00:00:20,370 --> 00:00:23,640 - HANK...HANK! 7 00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:25,210 - YES, FRAULEIN? 8 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:28,180 - TONIGHT, MY HOUSE, ENGLISH DEPARTMENT FALL MIXER. 9 00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:29,410 - HOW MANY JOBS DO YOU HAVE, LADY? 10 00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:31,150 YOU GOT A PAPER ROUTE TOO? 11 00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:32,280 - DID YOU TWO COME TOGETHER? 12 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,150 - NO. WE JUST CAME IN TOGETHER. 13 00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:40,320 - OOPS. 14 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:45,660 - I FUCKING HATE YOU! 15 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:47,630 - OKAY, I'LL JUST-- I'LL MOVE BACK IN. 16 00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,530 - I DO MY THING, YOU DO YOURS. 17 00:00:49,570 --> 00:00:50,770 - FINE BY ME. 18 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,870 AAH! 19 00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:54,200 NO MEANS NO, YOU KNOW! 20 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,840 IS THIS THE SURPRISE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT? 21 00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:56,870 I SIGNED A BIG FISH TODAY. 22 00:00:56,910 --> 00:00:58,340 - OH, WELL, GOOD FOR YOU. 23 00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:00,110 MAYBE YOU CAN MOVE THE FUCK OUT NOW. 24 00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:03,210 - COME ON. 25 00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,280 - I WAS LOOKING FOR CHARLIE. 26 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:07,680 CHARLIE, ARE YOU INSIDE THAT WOMAN? 27 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:09,190 - I CAN EXPLAIN. 28 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,530 [door opens] 29 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,310 - BOB'S YOUR UNCLE. OH-- 30 00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:31,180 OH, HEY...FELICIO. 31 00:01:31,210 --> 00:01:33,410 LOOKS LIKE YOU CAUGHT ME DOING A LITTLE--AHH-- 32 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:34,810 PRE-CLASS MEDITATO. 33 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,380 - WE SHOULD TALK. 34 00:01:36,410 --> 00:01:37,910 - OH, SHIT, YOU'RE NOT PREGGERS, ARE YOU? 35 00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:40,280 - HANK, WE KISSED. THAT WAS ALL. 36 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,150 - WELL, TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, YOU KISSED ME, 37 00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:43,150 FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. 38 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,290 - I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE. 39 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,420 - WOW, YOU NEVER KISSED A MAN? 40 00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:47,560 NOW, THAT'S JUST PLAIN WEIRD. 41 00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:48,930 WHAT, ARE YOU A HOOKER OR SOMETHING? 42 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,830 'CAUSE HOOKERS DON'T KISS. NEITHER DO MARINES. 43 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,600 THAT'S THE BEST GAY PORN TITLE I EVER HEARD: 44 00:01:52,630 --> 00:01:53,600 "MARINES DON'T KISS." 45 00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:54,660 - WHAT I'M SAYING IS, 46 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,830 I'VE NEVER STEPPED OUTSIDE OF MY MARRIAGE BEFORE. 47 00:01:56,870 --> 00:01:58,940 - WELL, OF COURSE NOT. DUH. 48 00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:00,640 WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD STEP OUT 49 00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:02,240 ON HIS ROYAL DEANNESS? 50 00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:05,240 - LOOK, I KNOW STACY'S NOT EXACTLY OF YOUR TRIBE. 51 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,340 BUT ONCE UPON A TIME I WAS VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH THE MAN. 52 00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:08,410 - YEAH. 53 00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:10,510 - BEFORE HE CHEATED ON ME, THAT IS. 54 00:02:10,550 --> 00:02:12,250 - WHOA, NELLY! 55 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:13,480 ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT 56 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,420 THAT SMARMY PIECE OF WIENER CHEESE 57 00:02:15,450 --> 00:02:16,350 TOOK HIS LOVE TO TOWN? 58 00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:18,660 - OLDEST STORY IN THE BOOK, I'M AFRAID. 59 00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:20,260 HE FELL FOR ONE OF HIS STUDENTS. 60 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:21,360 WE GOT THROUGH IT, THOUGH. 61 00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:22,860 COUNSELING, COUPLES THERAPY. 62 00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:24,630 OVER-INTELLECTUALIZING THE WHOLE THING 63 00:02:24,660 --> 00:02:25,930 TO AN ABSURD DEGREE. 64 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,500 WE'RE REALLY QUITE GOOD AT THAT. 65 00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:29,700 - WOW, ROCK ON WITH YOUR BAD SELVES. 66 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:32,270 THAT'S--THAT'S AWESOME, BUT I'M GUESSING 67 00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:35,310 THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE...OWED ONE. 68 00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:37,670 LIKE YOU GOT THIS "GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" CARD, 69 00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:40,440 AND YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW OR WHEN TO USE IT? 70 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,350 - OR MAYBE I DO. 71 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,350 - OH, WELL, SHUCKS. 72 00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:46,550 UH, I-I'D BE FLATTERED, 73 00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:49,890 BUT I TRY NOT TO INVOLVE MYSELF 74 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,920 IN OTHER PEOPLE'S DOMESTIC STRIFE. 75 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,260 - REALLY, HANK? 76 00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:55,390 I HAVEN'T KNOWN YOU ALL THAT LONG, 77 00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:57,790 BUT THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE PART OF YOUR PROGRAMMING. 78 00:02:57,830 --> 00:02:59,660 - THAT'S THE THING. IT'S A RELATIVELY NEW THING 79 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,770 BASED ON A SHITLOAD OF REALLY HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES. 80 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,830 BUT IT'S A THING NONETHELESS. - HMM. 81 00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:06,500 AND WHO SAYS I'D EVER CASH IN SUCH A CHIT 82 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:07,540 ON THE LIKES OF YOU? 83 00:03:07,570 --> 00:03:09,970 - WHOA. WELL, UH... 84 00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:13,340 I WOULD BE THE LUCKY ONE IF YOU WOULD. 85 00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:15,780 I MEAN, YOU'RE A GREAT BROAD, FELICIA. 86 00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:17,710 YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPIER. 87 00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:19,820 - MM... - UH-OH. 88 00:03:19,850 --> 00:03:24,490 [moaning] 89 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,690 - WHY CAN'T I STOP KISSING YOU? 90 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:27,760 - OH, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. 91 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:31,430 I'M LIKE FLYPAPER FOR THE EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED. 92 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:32,960 [knock on door] 93 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,570 - OOP. - OW, THAT'S MY BALLS. 94 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,840 - OH, HEY, AM I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING? 95 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,570 - JUST SOME FURTIVE FUCKING. 96 00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,940 - I'LL COME BACK. - PLEASE. THIS FELLOW? 97 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:46,980 GIVE A GIRL SOME CREDIT. 98 00:03:47,010 --> 00:03:48,550 I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS. 99 00:03:48,580 --> 00:03:52,380 - OKAY. TA. 100 00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:53,580 - WE SHOULD TALK. 101 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,050 - OH, SHIT, YOU'RE NOT PREGGERS, ARE YOU? 102 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,550 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU SAID YOU WERE SNIPPED. 103 00:03:57,590 --> 00:03:59,890 - PHEW, THAT'S A RELIEF. 104 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,630 - WE CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE. 105 00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:03,360 - YOU'RE RIGHT. WE SHOULD NOT. 106 00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:07,300 I MEAN, WE COULD LOSE OUR JOBS, OUR HOMES... 107 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,700 OUR CITIZENSHIP. 108 00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:10,330 - YEAH, I KNOW. 109 00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:11,740 I WAS MORE THINKING ALONG THE LINES 110 00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:13,640 THAT I HAVEN'T HAD THE SEX IN A WHILE. 111 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,470 AND THE OTHER NIGHT WAS KIND OF LIKE 112 00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:16,970 WAKING A SLEEPING TIGER. 113 00:04:17,010 --> 00:04:19,580 IF WE'RE NOT GONNA BE DOING IT ON A REGULAR BASIS, 114 00:04:19,610 --> 00:04:21,350 I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BE DOING IT AT ALL. 115 00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:22,810 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 116 00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:24,850 - I DO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, 117 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,320 BUT THAT WHOLE WAKING THE SLEEPING TIGER THING 118 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:30,750 GOT ME HARD. 119 00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:34,460 - MM. AND I'M WET. 120 00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:36,860 - HARD AND WET, THAT'S A WINNING COMBINATION. 121 00:04:36,890 --> 00:04:41,060 THAT'S LIKE COOKIES AND CREAM, OR... 122 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:42,330 LENNON AND MCCARTNEY. 123 00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,500 - MM. 124 00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:46,500 [upbeat music] 125 00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:54,510 * 126 00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:32,720 - HANK, I'VE BEEN MAKING SOME PHONE CALLS ON YOUR BEHALF. 127 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,520 AND GUESS WHAT. 128 00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:36,920 PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE A CUNT. NO JOKE. 129 00:05:36,950 --> 00:05:38,660 NOW, HERE'S WHAT I THINK WE SHOULD DO. 130 00:05:38,690 --> 00:05:42,160 THERE'S A LOT OF DRIED UP HOLLYWOOD SNATCH OUT THERE 131 00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:43,390 IN NEED OF WATERING. 132 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,990 POWERFUL OLDER WOMEN 133 00:05:45,030 --> 00:05:47,760 WHOSE LIMP-DICKED HUSBANDS HAVE LONG SINCE STOPPED 134 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,670 TENDING THEIR GARDENS. 135 00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:53,770 AND THEY WANT SOMEONE YOUNG, DUMB, FULL OF COME. 136 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,010 THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN. 137 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,910 NOW, I THINK WE SHOULD SEND YOU AROUND TOWN, 138 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,480 THESE EXECUTIVE SUITES, 139 00:06:01,510 --> 00:06:04,780 AND YOU CHARM YOUR WAY INTO THE HEARTS, MINDS, 140 00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:07,580 AND PANTS OF THESE UNFUCKABLE MONSTERS. 141 00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:09,420 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, MY PHONE IS RINGING 142 00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:11,490 FOR HANK MOODY. 143 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,720 - SO YOU'RE SUGGESTING THAT I DUMP THIS WHOLE WRITER THING 144 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:15,630 AND REINVENT MYSELF AS A HOLLYWOOD MAN-WHORE? 145 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:16,990 - OH, ABSO-FUCKIN'-LUTELY. 146 00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:19,860 [chuckles] 147 00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,700 AND THEN WE TURN AROUND AND WE SELL YOUR STORY 148 00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:23,600 AS A MODERN DAY AMERICAN GIGOLO. 149 00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:25,970 WHAT DO YOU THINK? - WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 150 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,870 YOU PLAYING FOOTSIE? 151 00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,510 - SHE'S PLAYING FOOTSIE, NOT ME. 152 00:06:29,540 --> 00:06:31,740 - OH, WE'RE NOT DATING. JUST FUCKING. 153 00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:32,780 - REALLY? 154 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:35,450 - JUST THE ONCE. - OH, BULLSHIT. 155 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,750 I GAVE YOU TWO BLOW JOBS IN ONE NIGHT. 156 00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:40,880 AND YOU ATE THIS PUSSY LIKE YOUR MAMA MADE IT. 157 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,020 [cell phone chimes] 158 00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:44,150 OH, HOLY FUCKBALLS! I GOT A LUNCH. 159 00:06:44,190 --> 00:06:47,560 KRISTOFFERSON. MY MOST LOYAL CLIENT. 160 00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:50,490 OH, GOD, I GET IN A PUDDLE JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. 161 00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:52,960 OH, RUNKLE, NOW, DON'T BE JEALOUS. 162 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,800 I THINK WE SHOULD KEEP EMOTION OUT 163 00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:55,830 OF THIS THING OF OURS. 164 00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:57,130 - GOOD IDEA, SUE. 165 00:06:57,170 --> 00:06:58,470 I'M TOTALLY WITH YOU ON THAT. 166 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,000 - YEAH. WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER, HANK? 167 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,010 - UH... - PARTY AT MY PLACE. 168 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,070 WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY FOR A STEAK AND A BLOW JOB? 169 00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:08,180 I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU AND RUNKLE WITH YOUR SWORDS CROSSED. 170 00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:12,520 COLLINI OUT. 171 00:07:12,550 --> 00:07:14,520 - WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, BIG BOY? 172 00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:17,950 - JUST GOIN' WITH THE FLOW. 173 00:07:17,990 --> 00:07:19,120 - HEY, I GOTTA GO PICK UP BECCA. 174 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,690 I PROMISED HER I'D TAKE HER SHOPPING. 175 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:21,960 YOU WANT TO HIT A STRIP CLUB LATER? 176 00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:23,930 - BUH-BUH-SHEEURE. YEAH. 177 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:24,860 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME. 178 00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:26,730 - YEAH, I GOT A STUDENT THAT WORKS AT ONE. 179 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,000 - OF COURSE YOU DO. 180 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,670 - SHE DROPPED MY CLASS-- I THINK SHE DID-- 181 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,130 AND I'M PERTURBED. I WANT TO FIND OUT WHY. 182 00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:32,970 BUT I CAN'T GO ALONE. THAT WOULD BE UNSEEMLY. 183 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:33,870 - AGREED. 184 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:36,240 HEY, HEY, YOU GONNA BUY ME A LAP DANCE? 185 00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:37,170 - MAYBE. 186 00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:39,280 IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO COME IN YOUR PANTS. 187 00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:41,750 MOODY OUT. 188 00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:44,280 COME ON, BECCA, YOU'RE KILLING ME SOFTLY HERE. 189 00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:46,880 WHOA. 190 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,620 OKAY, I'M GONNA PRETEND I DIDN'T SEE THAT. 191 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:50,150 JUST BRING MY DAUGHTER BACK ALIVE, 192 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:51,150 AND I WON'T CALL THE COPS. 193 00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:52,990 OKAY? I PROMISE. - DAD... 194 00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:55,590 YOU HAVE NO FASHION SENSE WHATSOEVER. 195 00:07:55,630 --> 00:07:57,230 - I HAVE EXCELLENT FASHION SENSE. 196 00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:59,630 I KNOW WHAT WORKS FOR ME. I HAVE A UNIFORM. 197 00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:01,060 - AND A MASSIVE BRAIN TUMOR. 198 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:03,130 - WHY, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE HALF YOUR BUTT CRACK 199 00:08:03,170 --> 00:08:04,630 EVERY TIME YOU GET OUT OF THE CAR? 200 00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:05,770 ALL RIGHT, FINE. I'M GUILTY. 201 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,940 CALL ME CRAZY. - MAY I? 202 00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:10,170 - MAY YOU WHAT, BUTT INTO OUR CONVERSATION? 203 00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:12,110 SURE. FEEL FREE. GO AHEAD. 204 00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:15,010 - SHE LOOKS AMAZING. 205 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,550 - SEE? WHAT SHE SAID. 206 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,820 - WELL, OF COURSE SHE LOOKS AMAZING... 207 00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:23,190 TO THE TUNE OF... 200 QUATLOOS? 208 00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:25,150 JESUS CHRIST, IF I DIDN'T ALREADY OBJECT 209 00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:26,820 ON MORAL AND RELIGIOUS GROUNDS, 210 00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:28,860 I'M NEVER GONNA SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY ON CLOTHES. 211 00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:30,890 - YOU PROMISED YOU'D TAKE ME SHOPPING. 212 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:33,760 - YES, HONEY, BUT I THOUGHT THAT MEANT, YOU KNOW, 213 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,970 BUYING A FEW T-SHIRTS AT HOT TOPIC 214 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,270 AND GRABBING AN ORANGE JULIUS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 215 00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:41,240 - I'M NOT THAT GIRL ANYMORE, DAD. 216 00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,270 - SHE'S NOT THAT GIRL ANYMORE, DAD. 217 00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:44,770 - THANKS FOR THE HELP, SHOPKEEP. 218 00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:47,280 LOOK, UM, I THINK I SEE SOMEONE OVER THERE 219 00:08:47,310 --> 00:08:50,150 IN THE MARKET FOR A $250 JETHRO TULL T-SHIRT. 220 00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:51,620 AND BY THE WAY, I WAS AT THAT SHOW. 221 00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:52,950 I PAID ALL OF TEN BUCKS FOR THE SHIRT. 222 00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:55,150 GO. EXPLOIT. BE GONE. 223 00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:56,850 - I HATE YOU. 224 00:08:56,890 --> 00:08:58,890 - BECS? BEXSTER? 225 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,220 HEY, LISTEN, WHY DON'T WE, UM, GO FOR A LITTLE WALK AND TALK, 226 00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:02,760 AND I'LL, UH-- 227 00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,290 I'LL GET YOU ONE OF THOSE HOT DOGS ON A STICK 228 00:09:04,330 --> 00:09:06,230 THAT YOU LIKE? 229 00:09:06,260 --> 00:09:08,330 OR THAT YOU USED TO LOVE, ANYWAY. 230 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,870 I DON'T EVEN KNOW. I'M GIVING UP. THAT'S IT. 231 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,070 [door opens] 232 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,640 - WOW. - THERE. 233 00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:19,180 ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 234 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,210 - SORT OF. 235 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,280 BUT NOT REALLY. NOT IF YOU'RE NOT. 236 00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:25,720 - YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS, DAD. 237 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,650 [knock on door] 238 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:28,790 - ARE YOU EXPECTING SOMEONE? 239 00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:29,890 - GODOT. 240 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,060 - OH, GODOT. HO HO. THAT'S NOT BAD. 241 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:37,130 HEY, CHELSEA. - I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 242 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,800 - WE'RE WORKING ON HER MANNERS. 243 00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:41,030 - HIDEOUS CREATURES, THESE TEENAGE GIRLS. 244 00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:43,300 - MONSTROUS. COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE. 245 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,900 - IS IT TOO LATE DROWN THEM IN THE TUB? 246 00:09:44,930 --> 00:09:46,640 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA OR SHERRY OR-- 247 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,740 WHAT IS IT, PIMM? - OH, NO, THANKS. 248 00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:50,910 I HEARD ABOUT THE FIGHT. 249 00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:53,310 - OH, "FIGHT." NOT--NOT REALLY A FIGHT. 250 00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:56,150 IT WAS MORE LIKE A DISAGREEMENT. 251 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,180 CARING OUT LOUD, REALLY. 252 00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:59,220 - LET ME TAKE HER SHOPPING WITH US. 253 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:02,020 - OH, NO. YOUR DAUGHTER LOOKS LIKE A TROLLOP. 254 00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:04,050 - THAT'S--THAT'S MEAN. 255 00:10:04,090 --> 00:10:06,320 - I'M JUST KIDDING. NOT REALLY. 256 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,230 - COME ON, JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO SPEND. 257 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,930 I'LL MAKE THE MOST OF IT, AND I'LL MAKE HER LOOK AS... 258 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,200 I DON'T KNOW, CLASSY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. 259 00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:15,200 - I DON'T KNOW. - OH, COME ON. 260 00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:17,330 SHE'S SUCH A SWEET GIRL AND MISSES HER MOTHER 261 00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:19,170 AND DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HER FATHER. 262 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,140 - SHE USED TO. 263 00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:23,040 - YEAH, WELL, THINGS CHANGE. SHE'S EVOLVING. 264 00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:25,110 SHE'S TRYING OUT DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES. 265 00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:26,940 YOU'VE GOT TO ADAPT OR DIE. 266 00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:28,780 - WELL, MAYBE I'LL COME WITH YOU. 267 00:10:28,810 --> 00:10:30,810 - ABSOLUTELY NOT. NO. NO, NO, NO. 268 00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:33,220 BESIDES, I WOULDN'T WANT HER TO SEE ME 269 00:10:33,250 --> 00:10:35,850 PULL YOU INTO A DARK CORNER AND MAKE OUT WITH YOU. 270 00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:39,460 - YOU DIRTY ENGLISH ROSE, YOU. 271 00:10:39,490 --> 00:10:44,360 - IT WOULD APPEAR THAT YOU BRING IT OUT IN ME. 272 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:50,070 [door opens] - YOU ALL READY? 273 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,240 - CAN I GO? 274 00:10:57,270 --> 00:10:59,280 - [sighs] YES. 275 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,980 - SEE, I TOLD YOU HE WASN'T QUITE THE ASSHOLE 276 00:11:02,010 --> 00:11:03,880 YOU SAID HE WAS. 277 00:11:03,910 --> 00:11:06,020 - COME ALONG, GIRLS. LET'S HIT THE ROAD. 278 00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:09,750 - THAT'S MR. ASSHOLE TO YOU, CHELSEA. 279 00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:12,720 - MM-HMM. - YEAH. OKAY. 280 00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:22,130 - CHECK IT OUT. 281 00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:25,200 I THINK I CAN SEE WHERE THEY PUT THE IMPLANTS IN. 282 00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:28,140 BA-JESUS, IT'S LIKE THE LACES ON A FOOTBALL. 283 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:29,410 - YOU GONNA BE LIKE THIS ALL NIGHT? 284 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,770 HEY, IS JACKIE WORKING? 285 00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:32,980 - SORRY, SWEETIE, DON'T KNOW ANY JACKIE. 286 00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:34,740 YOU WANT A DANCE? 287 00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,480 - DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD STRIP 288 00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:38,210 UNDER MY REAL NAME? 289 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,320 - UH, SORRY, I DON'T KNOW THE PROTOCOL. 290 00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,450 - WELL, YOU'RE FORGIVEN. - HMM. 291 00:11:43,490 --> 00:11:45,790 WELL, WHAT IS YOUR STRIPPER HANDLE, THEN? 292 00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:46,660 - ASHLEY. - ASHLEY? 293 00:11:46,690 --> 00:11:48,990 - ASHLEY MADISON. - ASHLEY MADISON. 294 00:11:49,030 --> 00:11:51,490 MEET MY AGENT. THIS IS MY STUDENT. 295 00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:52,900 - OF COURSE SHE IS. 296 00:11:52,930 --> 00:11:55,500 - YOU KNOW, I HAD A FEELING YOU'D SHOW UP 297 00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:56,930 SOONER OR LATER. 298 00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:58,200 - IS THAT WHY YOU DROPPED MY CLASS? 299 00:11:58,230 --> 00:12:01,370 - YEAH, BECAUSE I'M JUST THAT OBSESSED WITH YOU. 300 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,240 LISTEN, I REALLY CAN'T SIT AROUND AND CHITCHAT 301 00:12:03,270 --> 00:12:04,110 ALL NIGHT. 302 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,940 SO YOU CAN BUY A DANCE OR HIT THE ROAD. 303 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:08,080 - COME HERE, MY AGENT. 304 00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:12,820 - OOH... - OH, SETTLE DOWN. 305 00:12:12,850 --> 00:12:14,220 OKAY, THIS IS FOR ME. 306 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:17,350 AND THIS-- WELL, LET'S GO, HERE-- 307 00:12:17,390 --> 00:12:19,190 THIS IS FOR RALPH BALDO EMERSON HERE. 308 00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:20,960 - COME ON, BIG GUY. 309 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,060 [sultry dance beat] 310 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,060 - OH... [laughter] 311 00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:32,800 * 312 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,000 - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 313 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,170 - NOTHING SCANDALOUS. 314 00:12:36,210 --> 00:12:38,940 WRITING'S JUST NOT MY THING. - I BEG TO DIFFER. 315 00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:40,980 - WELL, YOU CAN BEG ALL YOU WANT, 316 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,480 BUT IT WAS AN ELECTIVE. 317 00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:45,050 I'M A BUSINESS MAJOR. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR IT. 318 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,380 - BUSINESS? 319 00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,850 WHO STUDIES BUSINESS IN THIS DAY AND AGE? 320 00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:52,390 THAT FEELS REALLY GOOD, BY THE WAY. 321 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:53,920 NICE WORK. - THANKS. 322 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,830 - THAT THERE IS A MAN BONER. 323 00:12:56,860 --> 00:13:00,860 - MM, YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT WE SHOOT FOR IN HERE. 324 00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:04,430 LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 325 00:13:04,470 --> 00:13:07,140 I'M NOT ONE OF YOUR TYPICAL FUCKED-UP DAMAGE CASES 326 00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:09,270 WHO'S JUST LUSTING FOR MALE ATTENTION. 327 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,010 I'M NOT SAYING THOSE GIRLS DON'T EXIST. 328 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,210 THROW A ROCK IN HERE AND YOU'LL HIT SIX OR SEVEN, 329 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,180 BUT THAT'S NOT ME. 330 00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:20,350 I AM JUST MAKING THE MOST OF WHAT I GOT 331 00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,050 WHILE I STILL GOT IT. 332 00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:26,090 - AHH...RIGHT. 333 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,420 SO WHAT'S NEXT? 334 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:30,130 - I GET THE HELL OUT. - JUST LIKE THAT? 335 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:35,400 YOU'RE JUST GONNA DISAPPEAR LIKE A...TOPLESS SALINGER? 336 00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:37,530 - THE STRIPPER IN THE RYE. 337 00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:40,200 - HEY, DID YOU JUST COME IN YOUR PANTS? 338 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,110 - WHAT? YOU WERE GRINDING... 339 00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:43,170 - DISGUSTING! - I'M SORRY. 340 00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:44,440 IT WAS AN EXCEPTIONAL LAP DANCE. 341 00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:46,340 - FREAKIN' GROSS! 342 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:47,880 - NICELY DONE, RUNKLE. 343 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,980 [laughter] - IT WAS A COMPLIMENT. 344 00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:52,580 [cell phone rings] - A LIQUID COMPLIMENT. 345 00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:54,520 - HELLO? 346 00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:56,490 HEY, MARCY, BABY! 347 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,160 I'M AT A STRIP CLUB WITH HANK. 348 00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:03,190 I JUST GOT A LAP DANCE. IT'S AWESOME HERE. 349 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,360 REALLY? 350 00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:07,130 NO SHIT. 351 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,070 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 352 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,270 HEY, I GOTTA GO. 353 00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:12,100 SOMEBODY WHO CAME AND SAW THE HOUSE 354 00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:13,640 IS COMING BACK FOR THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK. 355 00:14:13,670 --> 00:14:15,100 I THINK THEY MIGHT MAKE AN OFFER. 356 00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:17,110 GOOD LUCK, PAL. - NO. STICKY FINGERS. 357 00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:19,080 - NICE TO MEET YOU, ASHLEY MADISON. 358 00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:22,350 - * CHA CHA TRA LA LA, DO YOU WANNA? * 359 00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:24,250 - SEE, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? 360 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,380 AM I NOT AWESOME? 361 00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:29,120 DO I NOT PROVIDE A VALID AND WORTHWHILE PUBLIC SERVICE? 362 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:30,620 - YES, ALL THAT AND MORE. 363 00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:32,960 BUT YOU'RE A DAMN FINE WRITER TOO. 364 00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:34,920 - SO YOU SAY. 365 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,690 BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT THAT. 366 00:14:36,730 --> 00:14:38,230 - WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD. 367 00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:40,600 MAYBE IT'S ANOTHER WAY OUT. - OF WHAT? 368 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,970 THE HOLE YOU'RE DESPERATELY TRYING TO DIG OUT OF. 369 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,470 [Jackie laughs] MAYBE NOT AS FAST, 370 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,270 BUT THE PAYOFF WILL LAST A LOT LONGER, TRUST ME. 371 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,210 - YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT YOU, TEACH. 372 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,110 WHERE YOU GREW UP, WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN. 373 00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,380 BUT YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I COME FROM. 374 00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:55,640 THE SHIT I'VE SEEN. 375 00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:56,650 - OH? - MM. 376 00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,250 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, TELL ME. 377 00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,320 - WHY? 378 00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:02,050 IT'S BORING AS SHIT. [laughter] 379 00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:03,190 - I DON'T KNOW, TELL ME. 380 00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,990 - OKAY, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR 381 00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,090 ABOUT THE FATHER THAT I NEVER KNEW? 382 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,960 THE MOTHER WHO USED TO CLEAN RICH PEOPLE'S HOUSES 383 00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:12,630 TO GET ME TO COLLEGE? 384 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,700 WRITING IS JUST A-- IT'S A PIPE DREAM. 385 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,100 YOU CAN'T REALLY MAKE A LIVING 386 00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:17,970 DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 387 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,270 ACTUALLY, THAT'S HOW YOU END UP TEACHING. 388 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:22,970 - OUCH. - MM. 389 00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:26,080 INSTEAD, I WOULD RATHER RETIRE MY MOTHER, YOU KNOW. 390 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:27,680 AND IF I HAVE TO USE MY BODY TO DO SO, 391 00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:29,250 THEN SO FUCKING BE IT. 392 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,420 YOU KNOW, I APPRECIATE YOU TRYING TO HELP ME UNLEASH 393 00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:36,120 MY INNER HEMINGWAY, BUT I'M A BIG GIRL. 394 00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:37,690 YOU KNOW, I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 395 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,990 - WOW. I THINK YOU SHOULD REALLY GET BACK INTO CLASS. 396 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:43,190 WE COULD WORKSHOP THAT LITTLE STORY OF YOURS. 397 00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:45,260 I'M NOT SURE I BELIEVE A WORD OF IT, 398 00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:46,260 BUT I DIG THE DETAILS. 399 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:49,570 IT WAS A PLEASURE MEETING YOU, ASHLEY, UH... 400 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,630 - MADISON. 401 00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:54,740 - ASHLEY MADISON. - MM-HMM. 402 00:15:56,810 --> 00:15:58,770 - JESUS, TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH. 403 00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:01,310 - I'M SORRY. I HAD TO CALL A CAB. 404 00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:03,180 - WHAT'S WITH THE STAIN? 405 00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:06,720 EGH, DON'T BOTHER. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. 406 00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,750 I'M ON THE RAG, AND I'LL START SCREAMING. 407 00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:10,120 I DON'T WANT TO SCREAM. 408 00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:11,650 - OKAY, OKAY, WHAT CAN I DO? 409 00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:14,090 - UM, JUST MAKE SURE YOUR JERK OFF PARAPHERNALIA 410 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,520 IS ALL TUCKED AWAY. 411 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,660 - GONE. DONE. WHAT ELSE? 412 00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:19,400 - UH, THAT'S IT. 413 00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,460 I THINK I'M GOOD WITH THAT. 414 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:24,330 - [sighs] SO THIS IS IT, HUH? 415 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:25,670 - WHAT? 416 00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,770 - WE'RE REALLY GONNA DO THIS? SELL THE PLACE? 417 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,170 - ISN'T THAT WHAT WE WANT? 418 00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:32,140 - YEAH, SURE, I GUESS. 419 00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:33,310 JUST, YOU KNOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, 420 00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,140 A LOT OF MEMORIES COME FLOODING BACK. 421 00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:38,610 SOME BAD, BUT SO MANY GOOD, REALLY. 422 00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,250 GREAT EVEN. 423 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,490 - CAN YOU STOP, CHARLIE? JUST STOP, OKAY? 424 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,290 'CAUSE I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO TRAIPSING 425 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,390 DOWN MEMORY LANE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. 426 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:49,530 UGH, I GOTTA GO CHANGE MY FUCKING TAMPON. 427 00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:56,500 [overlapping voices] 428 00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:58,270 - IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? - COME ON. 429 00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:00,100 - YEAH, ASHLEY. - COME ON, ASHLEY. 430 00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:02,370 - PARTY. YEAH. - PARTY WITH US. 431 00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:04,270 - HEY, JACKIE. 432 00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:06,280 YOU ALL RIGHT? 433 00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:07,240 - YEAH. FINE. 434 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,280 YOU KNOW, BIG GIRL. CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 435 00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:11,180 REMEMBER? - YOU SURE? 436 00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:12,150 - YEAH. 437 00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:14,080 - THAT MEANS YOU CAN TAKE OFF NOW, OLD TIMER. 438 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,420 - OH. I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO. 439 00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:18,120 I'M--I'M LONELY. 440 00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:20,560 WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO JOIN THIS LITTLE HOMOEROTIC BAND 441 00:17:20,590 --> 00:17:22,230 OF THIEVES HERE? 442 00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:23,390 - OKAY... - SOMEONE'S LOOKING 443 00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:25,260 FOR A MOUTHFUL OF COCK AND BALLS, HUH? 444 00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:28,660 - WELL, THAT DOES NOT SOUND VERY APPETIZING OR FILLING. 445 00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:32,370 - OH, SHIT! BRUCE, JOHNNY, OVER HERE, QUICK! 446 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,840 - KICK HIS ASS. - LEAVE HIM ALONE! STOP! 447 00:17:34,870 --> 00:17:37,670 - FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU! 448 00:17:37,710 --> 00:17:40,280 - HEY, TED, LET'S GO. 449 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,780 [coughing] 450 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,150 - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 451 00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:46,250 - I WAS TRYING TO PREVENT YOU FROM GETTING RAPED 452 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,320 ATOP A PINBALL MACHINE, YOU INGRATE. 453 00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:50,820 - THEY'RE MY REGULARS. THEY'RE USUALLY SWEETHEARTS. 454 00:17:50,850 --> 00:17:52,760 - NOW YOU TELL ME. 455 00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:54,420 - ARE YOU OKAY? 456 00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:57,190 - NO. I JUST GOT MY ASS KICKED BY A J. CREW CATALOG. 457 00:17:57,230 --> 00:17:58,390 I'M NOT OKAY. 458 00:17:58,430 --> 00:17:59,400 - WHAT HURTS? 459 00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:01,130 - MY ASS. 460 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,730 - YEP, THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS. 461 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:06,400 OOPS, SORRY. USED TO HAPPEN. 462 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,470 YEAH, WE'RE SPLITTING THE SHEETS. 463 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,310 D-I-V-O-R-S-E. 464 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,480 NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. THINGS JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT. 465 00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:14,240 YOU KNOW, COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE. 466 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:15,610 EVEN YOU GUYS. 467 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:19,450 - HEY, DICKLESS WONDER, SHUT UP. 468 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,320 - GET IT TOGETHER, YOU TWO. 469 00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:25,650 - WOW, THAT'S DISGUSTING. 470 00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:28,420 - OH, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! 471 00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:29,690 [toilet flushes] 472 00:18:29,730 --> 00:18:31,160 WELL, THAT TIME OF THE MONTH. 473 00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:33,600 YOU KNOW HOW IT IS, RIGHT, SISTERS? 474 00:18:33,630 --> 00:18:35,430 - AYE-YI-YI-YI-YI. 475 00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:38,170 DON'T WORRY, WE'LL MAKE IT ALL NICE. 476 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,640 - WELL, I THINK WE'VE SEEN EVERYTHING 477 00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:41,500 WE NEEDED TO SEE. THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT. 478 00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,870 - REALLY, MARCY, A FUCKING TAMPON IN THE TOILET, 479 00:18:44,910 --> 00:18:46,640 IN THIS MARKET? - IT'S ALL UNDER CONTROL. 480 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,380 - YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. 481 00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:51,410 - IT'S GOING DOWN. 482 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:00,960 - COME ON. 483 00:19:00,990 --> 00:19:02,730 - HUH? - YOU'RE COMING IN. 484 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,660 I WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT YOU. 485 00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:06,830 - WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIEND BALT? 486 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:09,330 - HE'S SLEEPING AT HIS BOYFRIEND'S. 487 00:19:09,370 --> 00:19:10,730 - OH, HE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND? 488 00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:14,400 - MM-HMM. - GOOD FOR THAT DUDE. 489 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,440 [groans] 490 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:17,470 OW. OOH, OOH. 491 00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:19,510 - PUSSY. 492 00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:21,710 - WHAT, NO POINTS FOR ATTEMPTING TO DEFEND YOUR HONOR, 493 00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:27,220 NO MATTER HOW ILL-CONCEIVED OR AMATEURISH THE EXECUTION? 494 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,050 MMM...OH. 495 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,420 - IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR? 496 00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:32,220 - NOT EXACTLY, BUT THAT'LL DO. 497 00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:35,560 - HMM. 498 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:38,230 - NO. NO MAS. I'M DIZZY ENOUGH AS IT IS. 499 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,960 AND THIS IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. 500 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,630 - WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 501 00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:43,430 - YOU'RE MY STUDENT. 502 00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:46,340 - NOT ANYMORE I'M NOT. 503 00:19:46,370 --> 00:19:49,310 - WELL, YOU'RE A STUDENT, AND I AM A TEACHER, 504 00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:53,710 AND AS SUCH THIS IS FROWNED UPON SOMEWHAT. 505 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:56,950 - WOW, GIVE ME A BREAK. 506 00:19:56,980 --> 00:20:00,250 YOU ONCE SPENT AN ENTIRE CLASS RANTING ABOUT 507 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,350 HOW MUCH YOU HATE COLDPLAY. 508 00:20:02,390 --> 00:20:04,250 SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT YOU COULD CARE LESS 509 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,990 ABOUT WHAT'S FROWNED UPON. 510 00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:07,790 - THAT'S STILL ONE OF MY FAVORITE LECTURES. 511 00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:09,560 - MM. 512 00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:13,260 - SHIT, YOU'RE REALLY WEAKENING MY RESOLVE. 513 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,660 - LOOK, I'M 23. 514 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:19,440 IF I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU... 515 00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:22,410 [whispering] IF I WANT TO FUCK YOU-- 516 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:27,940 - THAT'S REALLY NOT HELPING. - THEN WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 517 00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:31,650 - * YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT 518 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,680 - YOU HAVE REALLY NICE BOOBS. 519 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,450 CAN I TOUCH ONE? 520 00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:39,590 - * HONEY, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT * 521 00:20:39,620 --> 00:20:43,730 - GO AHEAD. 522 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,930 - * OH, OH, OH 523 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,630 * THE ONE THAT I NEED 524 00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:53,300 - THIS IS SO NOT FAIR. 525 00:20:53,340 --> 00:20:55,670 - * OH, YES INDEED 526 00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,970 [toilet flushes] 527 00:20:58,010 --> 00:20:59,640 - FUCK. 528 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,980 IT'S LIKE A SLASHER FILM IN THERE. 529 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:05,510 I THINK I GOT IT ALL. 530 00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:07,650 ARE YOU OKAY? 531 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,850 - JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, RUNKLE, JESUS! 532 00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:13,820 - WHY ARE YOU CRYING? 533 00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:15,860 - WHY WOULDN'T I BE CRYING? 534 00:21:15,890 --> 00:21:17,730 I JUST WANT TO BE DONE WITH IT ALREADY. 535 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,330 I WANT TO SELL THIS FUCKING HOUSE 536 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,800 AND GET ON WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE. 537 00:21:20,830 --> 00:21:22,900 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT 538 00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:26,470 BEFORE YOU LEFT ALL THAT MENSTRUAL BLOOD IN THE TOILET. 539 00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:28,740 - WOULD YOU CUT ME SOME SLACK? 540 00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:31,570 HOW MANY BIG, STINKING DUMPS HAVE YOU LEFT 541 00:21:31,610 --> 00:21:35,380 IN THAT VERY SAME TOILET? 542 00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:38,710 - UH...I'M SORRY I'VE MADE YOU SO UNHAPPY, MARCY. 543 00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:43,850 - DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE. 544 00:21:43,890 --> 00:21:45,690 WE JUST WEREN'T MEANT TO BE. 545 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,720 - SEE, THAT'S THE THING. 546 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,090 I THINK WE WERE. 547 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:50,690 I THINK WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 548 00:21:50,730 --> 00:21:52,600 I JUST--I TOOK A WRONG TURN SOMEWHERE. 549 00:21:52,630 --> 00:21:56,000 OR, OKAY, SEVERAL WRONG TURNS. 550 00:21:56,030 --> 00:21:59,440 I FUCKED IT UP. 551 00:21:59,470 --> 00:22:00,940 I'M A BIG BOY, MARCY. 552 00:22:00,970 --> 00:22:03,540 I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AGAIN. 553 00:22:03,570 --> 00:22:04,970 AND IF THAT MEANS LETTING YOU GO, 554 00:22:05,010 --> 00:22:06,740 THAT'S WHAT I WILL DO. 555 00:22:06,780 --> 00:22:09,040 JUST YOU WATCH. 556 00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:20,990 OW! 557 00:22:21,020 --> 00:22:23,030 - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? 558 00:22:23,060 --> 00:22:25,560 WHAT HAPPENED TO LETTING ME GO? 559 00:22:25,590 --> 00:22:28,660 - I DON'T KNOW. IT'S HARD. 560 00:22:32,770 --> 00:22:34,970 - IT SURE IS. 561 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,670 - DO THAT AGAIN. 562 00:22:53,890 --> 00:22:56,020 - * COME DOWN OFF YOUR THRONE 563 00:22:56,060 --> 00:23:01,000 * AND LEAVE YOUR BODY ALONE 564 00:23:01,030 --> 00:23:06,700 * SOMEBODY MUST CHANGE 565 00:23:06,740 --> 00:23:08,470 * YOU ARE THE REASON 566 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:13,510 * I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG 567 00:23:13,540 --> 00:23:18,150 * SOMEBODY HOLDS THE KEY 568 00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:21,880 * WELL, I'M NEAR THE END 569 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:29,160 * AND I JUST AIN'T GOT THE TIME * 570 00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:30,890 * AND I'M WASTED 571 00:23:30,930 --> 00:23:37,070 * AND I CAN'T FIND MY WAY HOME 572 00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,030 - HEY, WHAT'S UP, BABY BLANKET? 573 00:23:39,070 --> 00:23:43,940 - I CAN'T SEEM TO DRAG MY ASS OUT OF BED THIS MORNING. 574 00:23:43,970 --> 00:23:45,610 I DON'T KNOW. HOW 'BOUT YOU? 575 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,640 CAN'T SLEEP? 576 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,010 - NO. THAT BED'S AWFULLY BIG WITHOUT YOU 577 00:23:50,050 --> 00:23:52,050 AND YOUR SMOKING-HOT ASS. 578 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,250 - THAT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE YOU NEVER SEEM TO HAVE 579 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,190 MUCH OF A PROBLEM GETTING SOMEONE TO SHARE A BED WITH YOU. 580 00:23:58,220 --> 00:24:02,690 - YEAH, WELL, THEY AIN'T YOU, LADY. 581 00:24:02,730 --> 00:24:04,990 - SO WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 582 00:24:05,030 --> 00:24:08,000 - THAT'S EASY. YOU JUST TELL ME THAT DESPITE 583 00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:10,970 ALL THE SEEMINGLY SHITTY THINGS I DO, I'M STILL A GOOD PERSON. 584 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,940 - OH, MY, YOU ARE HAVING A DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL. 585 00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:19,070 - I'M JUST NOT LIKING MYSELF VERY MUCH LATELY, 586 00:24:19,110 --> 00:24:21,110 AND WE'RE FRESH OUT OF BOOZE. 587 00:24:21,140 --> 00:24:24,980 OTHERWISE I'D SLEEPING LIKE A DRUNK MARMOSET RIGHT NOW. 588 00:24:25,010 --> 00:24:27,250 - SO WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO HEAR YOUR CONFESSION 589 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,250 AND ABSOLVE YOU OF ALL YOUR SINS? 590 00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:31,920 THAT'S KIND OF HARD TO DO WHEN I DON'T KNOW 591 00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:33,990 WHAT YOU'RE UP TO OUT THERE. 592 00:24:34,020 --> 00:24:36,190 - YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU THE GORY DEETS? 593 00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:37,260 - GOD, NO. 594 00:24:37,290 --> 00:24:40,760 I MEAN, THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF BEING SO FAR AWAY. 595 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,970 I DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO THE GORY DEETS ANYMORE. 596 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,840 BUT THANK YOU. - MM... 597 00:24:47,870 --> 00:24:49,670 YOU MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 598 00:24:49,710 --> 00:24:53,240 - IT'S WHAT I DO. 599 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,050 LISTEN, MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE TO SOUL SEARCH WITH YOU, 600 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,880 I NEED TO GO. 601 00:24:58,910 --> 00:25:05,120 - I GET IT. IT'S TIME TO MAKE THE DOUGHNUTS, RIGHT? 602 00:25:05,150 --> 00:25:06,590 YOU STILL LOVE ME? 603 00:25:06,620 --> 00:25:09,160 - ALWAYS. 604 00:25:09,190 --> 00:25:10,890 THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 605 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:13,330 - GOSPEL. 606 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:14,830 HAVE A GOOD DAY. 607 00:25:14,860 --> 00:25:16,260 - GET SOME SLEEP, SINNER. 608 00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:19,330 AND GIVE THAT LITTLE RAPSCALLION A KISS FOR ME, OKAY? 609 00:25:19,370 --> 00:25:23,040 - WILL DO, BUGABOO. 610 00:25:31,010 --> 00:25:34,180 TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU, MISS ROBINSON. 611 00:25:34,220 --> 00:25:36,590 - AND YOU TOO, MR. MOODY. 612 00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:38,790 AND JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT, 613 00:25:38,820 --> 00:25:41,290 AND I DON'T THINK WE CAN BE FRIENDS ANYMORE. 614 00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:44,290 - OH, REALLY? THAT'S TOO BAD. - NOT NECESSARILY. 615 00:25:44,330 --> 00:25:47,730 I'M NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR. 616 00:25:52,330 --> 00:25:55,000 - PROFESSOR, WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY 617 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,640 IF I AUDIT YOUR CLASS THIS MORNING? 618 00:25:56,670 --> 00:25:58,710 I WAS THINKING YOU COULD PROBABLY 619 00:25:58,740 --> 00:26:01,980 TEACH ME A THING OR TWO ABOUT LIFE, LOVE, 620 00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:04,080 THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. 621 00:26:04,110 --> 00:26:07,320 - I'M SORRY I'M LATE, TEACH. 622 00:26:07,350 --> 00:26:08,850 HOT DATE. 623 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,120 YOU KNOW, UP ALL NIGHT THINKING ABOUT IT. 624 00:26:11,150 --> 00:26:15,320 JUST KEEP ON REPLAYING IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER 625 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,090 IN MY MIND. 626 00:26:42,890 --> 00:26:45,890 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 44636

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