All language subtitles for Californication S02E08 Going Down and Out in Beverly Hills

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,200 PREVIOUSLY ON "CALIFORNICATION"... 2 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:12,960 [ SNORTS ] OH! MY MAMA! 3 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:16,100 THAT THIRSTY LITTLE NOSE OF YOURS IS COSTING US SOME MONEY. 4 00:00:16,130 --> 00:00:18,540 I'M SORRY, DADDY. YOU'RE GOING TO YOUR MOTHER'S. 5 00:00:18,570 --> 00:00:22,310 GOING TO MY MOTHER'S MAKES ME WANT TO DO DRUGS! 6 00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:23,410 Hank: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,140 JUST GIVING YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING TO PUT IN YOUR BOOK. 8 00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:26,340 WE DROVE OUT HERE TOGETHER. 9 00:00:26,380 --> 00:00:28,510 I ENDED UP PRODUCING. SHE ENDED UP ALONE. 10 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:29,550 HI. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. 11 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,480 MY NAME IS HANK MOODY. I'M A WRITER. 12 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,750 I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION ABOUT LEW -- LEW ASHBY. 13 00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:35,620 DID I SAY THAT YOU COULD TALK TO HER? 14 00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:38,090 JESUS. YOU'VE GOT A BIT OF AN OVERPROTECTIVE VIBE. 15 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,690 LOOK, I HAVE MANY VICES, MY FRIEND, 16 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,390 BUT JAILBAIT AIN'T ONE OF THEM. 17 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:43,160 [ LAUGHS ] 18 00:00:43,190 --> 00:00:45,160 EXCUSE ME, GENTS. 19 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,860 ALL RIGHT, REPEAT AFTER ME. 20 00:00:46,900 --> 00:00:48,700 I WILL NEVER... "I WILL NEVER..." 21 00:00:48,730 --> 00:00:50,430 ...FUCK MIA AGAIN. 22 00:00:50,470 --> 00:00:54,170 OH, NO! YOU DIDN'T! THIS IS SICK AND WRONG! 23 00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:06,550 Woman: * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE 24 00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:09,120 * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE 25 00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:10,120 I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL. 26 00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:12,690 YOU GUYS STOP PLAYING, AND I'LL ACCEPT JESUS... 27 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,860 AS MY PERSONAL SAVIOR. 28 00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:16,590 WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? 29 00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:19,860 MY BAD. YOU GUYS KEEP LIVIN' THE DREAM. 30 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:26,800 * THERE'S A PLACE FOR US WHERE LOVE HAS NO SHAME * 31 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,810 * IT'S NOT ABOUT THE YEARS 32 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,910 * IT'S ABOUT THE TEARS 33 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:36,550 * AND WHEN I LOOK FOR GRACE 34 00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:43,250 * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE 35 00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:48,830 * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE 36 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:52,760 * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE 37 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:53,930 WOW. 38 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,800 WOW. FOR ONCE, I BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING. 39 00:01:56,830 --> 00:01:59,540 AND I ALSO BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD HONESTLY CONSIDER 40 00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:01,710 NEVER WRITING ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. 41 00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:04,640 THANKS, BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THE OPINION OF SOMEONE 42 00:02:04,670 --> 00:02:07,540 WHOSE CULTURAL SIGNIFICANCE WENT OUT WITH HAMMER PANTS. 43 00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:10,410 DON'T KNOCK HAMMER PANTS. THEY LET A MAN MOVE. 44 00:02:10,450 --> 00:02:11,880 OW! 45 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,320 WHAT DID YOU THINK, BABY? 46 00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:15,320 I LOVE IT. 47 00:02:15,350 --> 00:02:18,760 IT'S AS THOUGH, UH, JANIS AND ALANIS HAD A BABY. 48 00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:20,820 YEAH, AND THEY PUT IT IN A DUMPSTER 49 00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:24,190 TO HOWL AWAY ITS PATHETIC LITTLE EXISTENCE. 50 00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:25,160 WOW! 51 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,500 I'M GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT THAT ALL DAY. 52 00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:30,330 AND YOU CAN THINK ABOUT THIS. 53 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,270 [ COUGHS, CLEARS THROAT ] 54 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,710 AND YOU, HANKIE, CAN THINK ABOUT THIS! 55 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:40,710 OH! YEAH. 56 00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:41,710 OW! 57 00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:43,550 [ LAUGHS ] 58 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,980 HEY, ASHBY. I JUST HAVE ONE THING TO SAY. 59 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:47,980 * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE * 60 00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:49,620 * YEAH, YEAH 61 00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:51,620 LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BREAK THE GIRL'S HEART, 62 00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:53,460 BUT I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE POWER BALLADS. 63 00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:54,490 SUGGESTIONS? PLEASE. 64 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:57,830 EXTRICATE YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY, IF NOT SOONER. 65 00:02:57,860 --> 00:03:00,930 BUT, JESUS, SHE FUCKS LIKE SHE KNOWS THINGS, YOU KNOW? 66 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,400 LIKE SHE'S BEEN PLACES, SEEN SOME SHIT. 67 00:03:03,430 --> 00:03:04,300 HEY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 68 00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:06,340 HOW DID THE INTERVIEW WITH MY OLD LADY GO? 69 00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:07,340 IT WENT. 70 00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:09,740 YEAH? WHAT DID, UH... WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT ME? 71 00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:11,410 SHE MISSES ME, RIGHT? 72 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,740 I-I MEAN, AT LEAST IN THE SACK. 73 00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,680 WELL, I'LL KNOW MORE WHEN I SEE HER AGAIN. 74 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:15,580 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 75 00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:17,650 MOODY, I THOUGHT THIS THING WAS, UH, OVER. 76 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,780 MNH-MNH. 77 00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:21,020 I'M GOING OVER THERE RIGHT NOW AFTER I DOUCHE MY EARS. 78 00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:22,990 WELL, GO THEN. ENJOY. 79 00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:27,320 YOU TOUCH HER, I WILL CUT YOUR CHEEKS WITH A STRAIGHT RAZOR. 80 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,560 [ LAUGHS ] 81 00:03:28,590 --> 00:03:29,960 [ LAUGHS ] 82 00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:31,330 PHT! PHT! 83 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,610 Janie: [ CHUCKLES ] THAT IS BULLSHIT. 84 00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:24,780 HE'S JUST BEING DRAMATIC. 85 00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:27,850 I DON'T MEAN AS MUCH TO HIM AS HE'D HAVE YOU BELIEVE. 86 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:28,890 I DON'T KNOW, LADY. 87 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,320 TO HEAR HIM TELL IT, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY. 88 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,420 RAN AWAY SCREAMING IS MORE LIKE IT. 89 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:35,330 WHAT WAS HE LIKE BACK THEN? 90 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:40,000 MM, I GUESS PROBABLY THE SAME AS HE IS NOW -- 91 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,370 A LOST BOY. 92 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,830 SWEET, WELL-INTENTIONED, LOVES THE WOMEN... 93 00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:46,100 HMM. A LITTLE TOO MUCH. 94 00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:49,440 WHAT MAKES HIM SO GOOD, THEN? WHAT DO YOU THINK? 95 00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:50,810 YOU KNOW WHAT? HE LISTENS. 96 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:53,110 HE HEARS THINGS IN A SONG THAT NO ONE ELSE CAN. 97 00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:54,710 SO, WHAT WAS THE LAST STRAW? 98 00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:56,580 NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 99 00:04:56,610 --> 00:05:00,120 JANIE JONES, I DO BELIEVE THE MAN IS STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU. 100 00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:01,990 HIS SUN RISES AND SETS WITH YOU. 101 00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:04,550 I THINK THAT HE WOULD TOSS EVERYTHING HE'S GOT 102 00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:06,460 JUST TO GET ANOTHER SHOT WITH YOU. 103 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:07,660 THAT'S WHAT I BELIEVE. 104 00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:11,090 YOU KNOW WHAT? 105 00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:13,700 WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF LIVING OUR HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER 106 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,670 WHEN I WALKED IN ON HIM ONE DAY WRITING A SONG 107 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,470 WITH A SHERYL CROW WANNABE. 108 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,840 AND I DON'T KNOW. I JUST FREAKED OUT. 109 00:05:20,870 --> 00:05:23,540 I MEAN, IT WAS MORE INTIMATE THAN FUCKING. 110 00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:24,740 AND I KNOW HE ALWAYS SAID 111 00:05:24,770 --> 00:05:28,080 THAT HE HAD TO FALL IN LOVE WITH EVERYONE HE WORKED WITH. 112 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,910 HE HAD TO OPEN HIMSELF UP TO THE MUSIC. 113 00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:33,520 BUT I GUESS I JUST... 114 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:36,020 GOT SICK OF SHARING HIM. 115 00:05:36,050 --> 00:05:37,450 SO I BAILED. 116 00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:39,020 DOES THAT MAKE ME SUPERFICIAL? 117 00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:42,860 NO. JUST HUMAN. 118 00:05:42,890 --> 00:05:43,990 WELL, LOOK AT THIS. 119 00:05:44,030 --> 00:05:47,430 IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT THE HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER AFTER ALL. 120 00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:49,470 DAMN STRAIGHT. 121 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:50,570 DON'T YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM? 122 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,870 JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY. DON'T YOU MISS HIM A LITTLE BIT? 123 00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:54,570 OH, YEAH. SURE. I MISS HIM. 124 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,540 LIKE YOU'D MISS A BAD CASE OF THE CRABS 125 00:05:56,570 --> 00:05:57,940 IF YOU GOT THEM FROM ROBERT PLANT 126 00:05:57,970 --> 00:05:59,540 OR JESUS OR SOMEONE. 127 00:05:59,580 --> 00:06:00,480 OH, YEAH. YEAH. 128 00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:02,510 THIS IS A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT ABOUT JESUS -- 129 00:06:02,550 --> 00:06:03,750 HE WAS WELL KNOWN FOR HIS V.D. 130 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:06,550 HE MADE THE LADIES ITCH ALL THE WAY FROM GALILEE TO NAZARETH. 131 00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,650 [ CHUCKLES ] YOU'RE JUST LIKE HIM. 132 00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:09,650 JESUS? 133 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:10,990 YOU KNOW, I GET THAT A LOT. 134 00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:12,190 YOU DO? HUH. YEAH. 135 00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:13,920 LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN WALK ON WATER. HMM? 136 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,660 OH! HEY! SAVE MY WORDS! 137 00:06:15,690 --> 00:06:18,430 [ LAUGHS ] 138 00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:21,430 OH, WHAT ARE YOU, A CHILD? 139 00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:22,700 WHAT ARE YOU, A GROWN-UP? 140 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,840 YOU RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD GLASS OF SCOTCH. 141 00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:27,000 GET BACK IN HERE. THE WATER'S WARM. 142 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,570 AND I BELIEVE WE SHOULD DO A LITTLE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING. 143 00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:31,610 NO, I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY. 144 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,810 I HAVE REVEALED WAY MORE THAN I THOUGHT I SHOULD. 145 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,750 HMM. HOW'D YOU'D DO THAT? 146 00:06:36,780 --> 00:06:39,020 IT'S WHAT I DO. IT'S A GIFT. 147 00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,480 Mr. Jones: JANIE! 148 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,490 WHAT IS THAT -- THE BALLS AND CHAIN? 149 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,690 YEAH. THIS DOES NOT LOOK GOOD. COME HERE. 150 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,160 JANIE, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! 151 00:06:46,190 --> 00:06:47,160 COME ON. COME ON. 152 00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:49,660 HOLD ON. HOLD ON. 153 00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:51,460 JUST, UH... 154 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,230 JUST WAIT IN HERE FOR A FEW MINUTES. 155 00:06:53,260 --> 00:06:54,460 I'LL BE BACK. 156 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,070 I WANT YOU TO TAKE HER DIRECTLY TO THE AIRPORT, OKAY? 157 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,840 WHATEVER'S ON THE METER WHEN YOU GET THERE, 158 00:07:00,870 --> 00:07:01,970 I WILL TRIPLE IT 159 00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:04,510 IF YOU SEE TO IT SHE MAKES IT TO THE SECURITY LINE. 160 00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:05,440 [ CHUCKLES ] 161 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,810 DON'T WORRY, DADDY. I'LL BE A GOOD GIRL. 162 00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:12,780 IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME TO TRUST YOU RIGHT NOW, BABY. 163 00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:14,120 I KNOW. 164 00:07:14,150 --> 00:07:15,820 MY DIRTY LITTLE WHORE OF A NOSE 165 00:07:15,850 --> 00:07:18,520 IS SORRY THAT SHE LET YOU DOWN. 166 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:19,520 BUT SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH 167 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,830 SHE'S WILLING TO GO CHILL OUT AT HER MOTHER'S. 168 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:22,660 WOW. 169 00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:24,730 I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU GO VOLUNTARILY 170 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:25,900 TO YOUR MOTHER'S BEFORE. 171 00:07:25,930 --> 00:07:27,930 I WANT TO FIX THIS, CHARLIE. 172 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,830 AND IF IT MEANS SHACKING UP WITH THAT TROLL, 173 00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:33,770 THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 174 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,040 LET'S GO. 175 00:07:37,070 --> 00:07:38,070 WHY? 176 00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:39,140 COME ON. COME ON. 177 00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:41,010 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I SHOULD DRIVE YOU. 178 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,810 NO. YOU HAVE YOUR MEETING. 179 00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:44,150 WELL, WE'LL RESCHEDULE. 180 00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:46,150 BABY, I'M A BIG GIRL. 181 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:50,920 YOU NEED TO STAY HERE AND TAKE CARE OF YOU AND DAISY. 182 00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:55,960 I PROMISE WE WON'T HAVE ANY FUN WHILE YOU'RE GONE. 183 00:07:55,990 --> 00:07:59,200 WE'LL BE WISHING WE WERE AT A RETIREMENT COMMUNITY IN TUCSON. 184 00:07:59,230 --> 00:08:02,630 OH, YEAH. NOTHING LIKE PINOCHLE AND MENOPAUSE JOKES. 185 00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:04,600 A BLUR OF CANES AND WALKERS. 186 00:08:04,630 --> 00:08:05,640 BUT LOOK FOR ME. 187 00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:07,670 I'LL BE THE ONE SOLICITING ALL THE GRAYHAIRS -- 188 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,940 "I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK, OLD MAN." 189 00:08:09,970 --> 00:08:12,080 BYE, BABY. 190 00:08:17,310 --> 00:08:20,180 PUT DOWN THOSE SHUFFLEBOARD STICKS. 191 00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:23,120 MARCY'S COMING TO SUCK YOUR DICKS! 192 00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:37,000 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 193 00:08:37,030 --> 00:08:38,700 [ BEEP ] HELLO? 194 00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:40,570 Hank: It's your knight in shining armor. 195 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,570 HMM. 196 00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:43,140 YOUR LORD? YOUR PASHA? 197 00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:45,610 WHAT'S MANDARIN FOR "DREAM LOVER"? 198 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:46,810 MANG-MANG KIN REN? 199 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,010 PROBABLY THE OPPOSITE 200 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,280 OF WHATEVER THE WORD FOR "MOUTH RAPIST" IS. 201 00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:51,280 OH. 202 00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:53,120 WELL, I'M NOT GONNA BE THERE 203 00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:56,020 TO PICK UP BECCA FROM SCHOOL TODAY, OKAY? 204 00:08:56,050 --> 00:08:57,020 I'll explain later. 205 00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:58,620 OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR IT. 206 00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,290 No, it's actually a very good one. 207 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,930 BUT RIGHT NOW, I'VE GOT TO SEE A MAN ABOUT A HORSE, SO... 208 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,730 [ BEEP ] 209 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,740 [ ZIPPER OPENS ] 210 00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:16,310 [ URINATING ] 211 00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:23,250 [ SIGHS ] 212 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,380 UH... 213 00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:29,250 [ GASPS ] 214 00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:30,650 NO BAÑOS. 215 00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:33,760 SO I USED THE "SINKOS." 216 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,890 [ ZIPPER CLOSES ] 217 00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:38,060 [ BELL RINGS ] 218 00:09:44,070 --> 00:09:46,740 HEY, YOU. 219 00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:49,010 NO FATHER-TYPE FIGURE. 220 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,010 NO. 221 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:52,780 BUT KNOWING YOUR FATHER, HE'LL PROBABLY BE HERE 222 00:09:52,810 --> 00:09:54,880 ON SATURDAY OR SUNDAY TO PICK YOU UP. 223 00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,310 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING BAD ABOUT HIM. 224 00:09:57,350 --> 00:09:58,350 OKAY. 225 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,650 HEY! IT'S MIA. 226 00:10:01,690 --> 00:10:03,190 DON'T BOTHER. 227 00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:05,790 SHE'S NOT DRIVING. SHE'S GOT OTHER PLANS. 228 00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:09,330 OH, REALLY? WHAT? LIKE "OLDER BOYFRIEND" PLANS? 229 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,090 SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 230 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,670 Hank: MMM. 231 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:24,340 I DON'T DO THIS NEARLY AS MUCH AS YOU THINK. 232 00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:26,780 MAKES ME PARANOID. 233 00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:28,780 PARANOCIO. 234 00:10:28,810 --> 00:10:30,450 YO. 235 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,720 PLUS, THE OLD LADY, BACK WHEN I HAD ONE, 236 00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:35,120 SHE DIDN'T APPROVE OF ME INGESTING THE SUBSTANCES. 237 00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:36,990 NOT THAT SHE WAS ABOVE IT HERSELF. 238 00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:40,020 WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE ISSUE? 239 00:10:40,060 --> 00:10:43,190 WELL, THAT WASN'T EXACTLY A RESPONSE, BUT I'LL TAKE IT. 240 00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:48,330 HEY, UH, HOW DOES, UH, MRS. JONES SEEM TO YOU? 241 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:51,770 UH, IS SHE A GOOD JEFA? 242 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,900 IS SHE CONTENTO? 243 00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:56,740 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? A LANGUAGE BARRIER? 244 00:10:56,770 --> 00:11:01,480 MI VIEJA ES... STICK UP ASSO. 245 00:11:01,510 --> 00:11:04,110 UH, HYPOCRITA. 246 00:11:04,150 --> 00:11:06,780 EL DOBLE STANDARDO. 247 00:11:06,820 --> 00:11:11,020 ELLA FUMAR SINO SI YO FUMAR, 248 00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:14,760 ELLA CORTAR LOS CAJONES GRANDES. 249 00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,030 [ LAUGHS ] YES! 250 00:11:16,060 --> 00:11:18,900 YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU SMILE. I WISH YOU DID SPEAK ENGLISH. 251 00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,230 I HAVE A LOT TO DISCUSS 252 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,870 ON THE SUBJECT OF ACCIDENTAL CUNNILINGUS. 253 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,970 WHY THE FUCK WOULDN'T I SPEAK ENGLISH? 254 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,200 OH, HELLO! 255 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:27,800 GIVE A BROTHER A HEADS-UP 256 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,470 BEFORE HE DIVULGES HIS ENTIRE HISTORY WITH WOMEN. 257 00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:33,880 I WAS ENJOYING YOUR SPANGLISH WAY TOO MUCH TO STOP YOU. 258 00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,180 MY SPANGLISH IS MUY BUENO. UH-HUH. 259 00:11:35,210 --> 00:11:36,210 Mr. Jones: Rosario! 260 00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:37,080 [ GASPS ] OH, FUCK! FUCK! 261 00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:39,020 WHAT? GET OUT OF HERE. GET OUT OF HERE. 262 00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:40,020 GO! GO! GO! 263 00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,890 ROSARIO. Oh, shit. 264 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,120 [ Singsong voice ] RO-SARI...O. 265 00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:45,990 MR. JONES. 266 00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:48,120 [ SNIFFS ] HMM. WELL... 267 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,390 I WAS THINKING THAT NOW MIGHT BE THE PERFECT TIME 268 00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:54,160 FOR ONE OF OUR PERFORMANCE REVIEWS. 269 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,300 OH, UM...MAYBE LATER, WHEN I FINISH MY WORK? 270 00:11:57,330 --> 00:11:59,500 THIS IS PART OF YOUR WORK. 271 00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:12,920 DIOS MIO. 272 00:12:18,390 --> 00:12:20,260 I'M FAIRLY NEW TO PORN MYSELF. 273 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:21,420 STILL, LET ME JUST SAY, 274 00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:24,860 IT'S NICE TO BE IN AN OFFICE OCCUPIED BY A REAL EXECUTIVE. 275 00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:27,300 ON A COUCH THAT'S ACTUALLY USED FOR SITTING. 276 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,800 [ LAUGHS ] LOVE IT! 277 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,870 DAISY, YOU ARE SO FUNNY. 278 00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,470 OH, DO THE END OF "VAGINATOWN." 279 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:37,910 OH. "SHE'S MY SISTER, MY DAUGHTER, MY SISTER... 280 00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,410 OH, I'LL NEVER FIGURE IT OUT WITHOUT A COCK IN ME!" 281 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,350 [ LAUGHS ] 282 00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:46,150 I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT ALSO PLAYED COMEDICALLY. 283 00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:49,050 WE THINK THAT DAISY HAS WHAT IT TAKES 284 00:12:49,090 --> 00:12:51,450 TO BE AN INTENSE GIRL. 285 00:12:51,490 --> 00:12:53,360 THAT IS GREAT. JUST GREAT. 286 00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,960 BUT WE'RE FIELDING OFFERS FROM A FEW STUDIOS, 287 00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:58,330 SO CAN YOU TELL US WHAT SETS INTENSE APART? 288 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,830 WELL, DAISY WILL HAVE ACCESS 289 00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:02,100 TO OUR MARKETING AND DISTRIBUTION TEAMS. 290 00:13:02,130 --> 00:13:03,500 AND WITH THAT KIND OF EXPOSURE, 291 00:13:03,530 --> 00:13:06,470 DAISY CAN NAME HER PRICE AT STRIP CLUBS, 292 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:07,870 FAN EVENTS, TOURS. 293 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,570 NOT TO MENTION MERCHANDISING. 294 00:13:09,610 --> 00:13:14,380 HER FACE WILL BE ON THE PACKAGE OF THOUSANDS OF RUBBER VAGINAS. 295 00:13:14,410 --> 00:13:16,080 [ WHISTLES ] GREAT! 296 00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:19,020 OF COURSE, ALL INTENSE GIRLS ARE ALL AT LEAST DOUBLE D's. 297 00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:21,480 YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM GETTING IMPLANTS, DO YOU? 298 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,620 WAIT A MINUTE. 299 00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:26,560 I'M NO EXPERT, BUT I CONSIDER MYSELF QUITE A MASTURBATOR. 300 00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:28,320 I'VE CERTAINLY RUBBED THEM OUT 301 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,890 TO GIRLS A LOT SMALLER-CHESTED THAN DAISY HERE. 302 00:13:30,930 --> 00:13:34,230 WELL, THAT PORN DOES EXIST. BUT IT'S A NICHE. 303 00:13:34,260 --> 00:13:36,230 LIKE SHRIMPING OR GRANNY-FUCKING. 304 00:13:36,270 --> 00:13:37,970 WHO SAYS SHRIMPING IS NICHE? 305 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,400 LOOK, DAISY. WE LOVE WHAT WE SEE. 306 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,640 WE JUST WANT TO SEE A LITTLE MORE OF IT, RIGHT? 307 00:13:43,670 --> 00:13:46,210 UM. I... 308 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,340 FINE. FINE, BUT YOU GOT TO KNOW 309 00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:51,350 THAT IF MY CLIENT IS EVEN GONNA CONSIDER THIS REQUEST, 310 00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:52,520 YOU'D BE BUYING THEM. 311 00:13:52,550 --> 00:13:55,380 WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR FUN BAGS. 312 00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:58,250 YOU KNOW, I'M ALL FOR A LITTLE AFFAIR OF THE HEART, 313 00:13:58,290 --> 00:13:59,890 BUT THAT DUDE? 314 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,190 I THINK YOU CAN DO A LOT BETTER. 315 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:04,930 IT WASN'T ALWAYS THAT BAD. 316 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,230 I FELL FOR HIM AT FIRST. 317 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:08,230 HE WAS GONNA LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR ME. 318 00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:09,430 YES. YEAH. 319 00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:12,500 AND HE WAS GONNA PAY SO MY WHOLE FAMILY COULD GO TO COLLEGE 320 00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:14,240 OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. 321 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,470 OH. 322 00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,570 "ROSARIO, TE AMO, MUCHACHA. 323 00:14:18,610 --> 00:14:21,440 LINDA, HERMOSA, BELLA Tú." 324 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,180 NO ME GUSTA. 325 00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,180 GIVE ME YOUR JEANS. 326 00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:30,950 OH, NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO A WHOLE LOAD OF DARK. 327 00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:32,520 I THIN-- I'M GOOD. THEY'RE DRYING. 328 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:36,090 NO, PAPI. DON'T WORRY. 329 00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:38,430 I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU OUT OF THEM. 330 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,140 THIS IS WRONG ON SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS. 331 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:52,180 MNH-MNH. MNH-MNH. 332 00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:56,080 WHEN WE'RE DONE, CAN YOU AT LEAST LET ME MOP UP? 333 00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:58,410 OH, MY GOD. 334 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,390 [ CELLPHONE BUZZES ] 335 00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:04,050 MM. MM. MM! 336 00:15:04,090 --> 00:15:05,420 IT'S MY PHONE. 337 00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:06,720 YEAH. 338 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,260 YEAH. 339 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,130 HELLO? 340 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,230 MIA IS DATING LEW ASHBY! 341 00:15:17,270 --> 00:15:20,370 [ GASPS ] I AM AS SURPRISED AS YOU ARE. 342 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,270 WHAT THE FUCK? 343 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,570 WE ARE MEANT TO BE TAKING CARE OF HER, 344 00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:25,370 NOT -- NOT LETTING HER SKIP SCHOOL 345 00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:28,040 SO THAT SHE CAN SIT IN THE LAPS OF OLD MEN. 346 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,150 HEY, YOU'RE THE ONE THAT CONDONED IT. 347 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,510 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? 348 00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:32,680 Who was the one that said 349 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,150 DATING AN OLDER MAN WAS A "VALID LIFE EXPERIENCE"? QUOTE. 350 00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:38,250 FUCK! 351 00:15:39,290 --> 00:15:42,260 NO, NOT -- YOU KNOW, I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT. 352 00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:45,630 I believe someone is owed an apology, and his name is Hank. 353 00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:49,130 NO. NO, BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT THIS MAN INTO OUR LIVES, OKAY? 354 00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:50,270 SO YOU CAN FIX IT. 355 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,170 I TRIED TO STOP IT. 356 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,040 LOOK, ANYWAY, I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY 357 00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:55,100 THAT THAT RELATIONSHIP IS NOT LONG FOR THIS WORLD, 358 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:57,140 SO RELAX. 359 00:15:57,170 --> 00:15:59,510 Wait a minute. Hank. 360 00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:01,710 "HANK"? WHY ARE YOU SAYING "HANK" LIKE THAT? 361 00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:05,080 LIKE WHAT? LIKE, SINCE WHEN DID YOU CARE HOW I SAY "HANK"? 362 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:05,950 WHY ARE YOU SO UP MY ASS 363 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,750 ABOUT THE WAY I THINK YOU SAY "HANK"? 364 00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:09,690 YOU'RE FUCKING PARANOI-- ARE YOU STONED? 365 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,290 Uh... Rosario: La vieja? 366 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:12,390 Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! 367 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:13,960 FUCK YOU. [ BEEP ] 368 00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:19,200 LA VIEJA. 369 00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:21,400 MM. MM. 370 00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:22,700 HMM. 371 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,430 [ SIGHS ] 372 00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:26,540 I THINK WE SHOULD RECONSIDER. 373 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:27,800 IT'S A CAREER MOVE. 374 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,710 IT'S WRONG IS WHAT IT IS. 375 00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:31,740 WE WERE FOOLS TO AGREE TO SURGERY. 376 00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:34,340 THOUSANDS OF RUBBER VAGINAS, CHARLIE. 377 00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:36,580 YEAH, TO GET YOUR FACE ON THOSE VAGINAS, 378 00:16:36,610 --> 00:16:38,750 YOU HAVE TO UNDO YOUR VERY DAISY-NESS. 379 00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:42,120 EVERYTHING IN MY CAREER HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS. 380 00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:44,150 I WANT TO BE A STAR, CHARLIE. 381 00:16:44,190 --> 00:16:45,450 MNH-MNH. 382 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:48,360 THE REAL STARS DO NOT GET THEIR BOOBS DONE. 383 00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:50,730 THE JULIAS, THE MERYLS, THE NICOLES. 384 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,500 NICOLE CLITMAN? SHE HAS E's. 385 00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:54,630 [ SIGHS ] 386 00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:57,300 SHE NEEDS THEM TO DISTRACT PEOPLE FROM THE REST OF HER. 387 00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:59,740 YOU DON'T. COME ON. DAISY. 388 00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:02,810 YOU KNOW, DON'T HIDE BEHIND SILICONE. 389 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,110 BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO BE YOURSELF. 390 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:07,240 YOU'RE A REAL STAR. 391 00:17:19,860 --> 00:17:22,530 HEY. LEW. 392 00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:26,230 HEY. LEW! 393 00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:27,630 YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE! 394 00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:30,530 UH...BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN DATED. 395 00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:32,400 NO, I'M A LITTLE TOO OLD FOR YOU. 396 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:33,740 YOU DATE CHILDREN. 397 00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:35,170 OH. MIA. 398 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,540 YEAH. MIA. 399 00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:37,740 SHE'S 17. 400 00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:41,710 OKAY, BUT TO BE FAIR, WHEN I MET HER, I THOUGHT SHE WAS 19. 401 00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:44,280 NOT HELPING, RIGHT? 402 00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:45,380 YOU'RE DISGUSTING. 403 00:17:45,410 --> 00:17:46,420 OKAY. LOOK -- HEY. 404 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:47,550 HEY, HEY. HEY, HEY, HEY! 405 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,420 COME ON. DON'T LEAVE IN A HUFF. 406 00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,520 YOU KNOW, I DESIGN HOUSES FOR A LIVING. 407 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,460 AND USUALLY, WHEN SOMEONE WANTS A GIANT BEHEMOTH LIKE THIS, 408 00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:57,660 IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE HIDING FROM SOMETHING. 409 00:17:57,690 --> 00:17:59,160 WHICH IS A GOOD IDEA FOR YOU. 410 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,330 IF YOU EVER TOOK THE TIME TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR, 411 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:02,670 I MEAN, JUST FOR A SECOND, 412 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,700 YOU'D SEE YOURSELF AS YOU REALLY ARE. 413 00:18:04,730 --> 00:18:07,600 THERE'S A REASON WHY YOU CAN ONLY ATTRACT 17-YEAR-OLDS. 414 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,310 IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE PATHETIC! 415 00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:12,580 [ GASPS ] AAH! 416 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,450 FUCK. 417 00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:19,620 Hank: THINK WE'LL MAKE IT OUT OF HERE BY SUNSET? 418 00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:21,350 YEAH. THE COAST IS CLEAR. COME ON. 419 00:18:23,390 --> 00:18:25,390 DON'T FALL AGAIN. [ LAUGHS ] 420 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:29,630 HEY THERE. 421 00:18:29,660 --> 00:18:31,590 WHAT THE FUCK? HOLA. 422 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:33,560 WHO THE FUCK IS THIS? 423 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,460 I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE. 424 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,370 DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEAD ABOUT IT. 425 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,640 ROSARIO HERE IS MY AMIGA. 426 00:18:39,670 --> 00:18:42,470 AND SHE TELLS ME WHEN SHE TRIED CALLED IT QUITS BETWEEN YOU TWO, 427 00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:43,640 YOU DIDN'T WANT TO STOP. 428 00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:45,870 NOW, I'M ALL FOR THE... [ WHISTLES ] 429 00:18:45,910 --> 00:18:48,210 THAT'S COOL. I'M NOT ONE TO JUDGE. 430 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,180 BUT YOU -- THE POWER RELATIONS ARE SKEWED HERE, YOU UNDERSTAND? 431 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:54,220 YOU GOT TO READ YOUR KARL MARX. I WANT YOU TO RESPECT HER SHIT. 432 00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:55,450 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 433 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,420 AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT SHE'S BEEN LET GO. 434 00:18:57,450 --> 00:18:58,750 BECAUSE THE DAY I HEAR ABOUT THAT, 435 00:18:58,790 --> 00:19:01,390 THAT'S THE DAY THAT YOUR OLD LADY HEARS ABOUT IT, COMPRENDE? 436 00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:02,660 FUCK YOU. FUCK ME? 437 00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:04,660 NO, FUCK YOU, RON. FUCK YOU, RON. 438 00:19:04,690 --> 00:19:06,430 YEAH, FUCK YOU, RON. 439 00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:07,260 FUCK YOU, RON. 440 00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,700 YEAH, THIS IS OVER. IT'S OVER, BUDDY. 441 00:19:09,730 --> 00:19:13,270 IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, I THINK SHE GOT YOU OUT OF HER SYSTEM. 442 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:14,740 SEVERAL TIMES. 443 00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:16,870 TWICE IN SPANISH, COUPLE TIMES IN ENGLISH THERE. DOS. 444 00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:19,480 ONCE IN SPANGLISH. AN UNDERRATED MOVIE, IN MY OPINION. 445 00:19:19,510 --> 00:19:20,740 UM, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 446 00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:25,780 DID YOU FUCK MY MAID? 447 00:19:25,810 --> 00:19:27,720 NO HABLO INGLESES. 448 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,790 WOW. THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE. 449 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,950 [ GATE RATTLES ] 450 00:19:30,990 --> 00:19:33,920 WELL, YOU KNOW, I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A GRACEFUL EXIT, 451 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,920 BUT APPARENTLY, RED-FACED ANGRY HOCKEY DAD 452 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,630 LIKES TO KEEP BABY IN A CORNER AND KEEP HIS GATE LOCKED UP. 453 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:39,800 WHAT WAS I THINKING 454 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:42,700 LETTING THE HANK MOODYS AND THE LEW ASHBYS OF THE WORLD 455 00:19:42,730 --> 00:19:43,770 BACK INTO MY LIFE? 456 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,470 WELL, YOU WERE PROBABLY THINKING YOU NEEDED A BREAK 457 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,000 FROM RED-FACED ANGRY HOCKEY DAD. 458 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,370 HEY, UM... 459 00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:52,440 LET ME JUST ASK YOU ABOUT ROSARIO. 460 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,440 CAN I ASK YOU NOT TO FIRE HER, IF THAT'S TOO MUCH? 461 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,410 I-I GET THE FEELING SHE NEEDS THE JOB 462 00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,320 AND THERE ARE MOUTHS TO FEED, SO... 463 00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:01,250 I'M NOT GONNA FIRE ROSARIO. 464 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,290 IF SHE KEEPS ON KEEPING HOUSE THE WAY SHE DOES, 465 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,720 SHE CAN KEEP FUCKING MY HUSBAND. 466 00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:05,620 WOW. 467 00:20:05,650 --> 00:20:08,620 YOU'RE SOME KIND OF A NEAT-FREAK, HUH? 468 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:11,290 YEAH. I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT. 469 00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:12,960 I JUST DON'T KNOW THAT I ACTUALLY CARE. 470 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:13,760 HMM. 471 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,570 I'M NOT SURE I BUY THAT, JANIE JONES. 472 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,540 LOOK, I KNOW I'M NOT ON TOP OF MY GAME HERE, 473 00:20:19,570 --> 00:20:21,300 BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE 474 00:20:21,340 --> 00:20:24,270 THE MOST COMPELLING PART OF MY BOOK, SO... 475 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,710 I'M SURE THAT LEW ASHBY HAS PLENTY OF COMPELLING PARTS 476 00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:28,510 STASHED AROUND THIS ENTIRE CITY. 477 00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:29,910 NO, BUT YOU'RE THE KEY. YEAH. 478 00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:31,780 CAN WE JUST FINISH THIS INTERVIEW 479 00:20:31,810 --> 00:20:33,850 WITHOUT, YOU KNOW, THE DIP IN THE POOL 480 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,520 AND THE DIP IN THE MAID? 481 00:20:36,550 --> 00:20:39,660 NO. I'M DONE TALKING ABOUT LEW. GO. 482 00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:44,390 IF YOU WANT TO SEE ME AGAIN, YOU JUST HAVE TO ASK ME OUT. 483 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,470 HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 484 00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:01,010 AHH. 485 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,450 OOH. WHAT IS THIS STUFF? 486 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,310 OKAY. H-HERE'S THE DEAL. 487 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:08,680 SEE, MY 57-SECOND PERFORMANCE IN "VAGINATOWN" 488 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,620 WAS NO ONE-TIME THING. 489 00:21:10,650 --> 00:21:11,750 YOU COME... 490 00:21:11,790 --> 00:21:13,320 RATHER QUICKLY. 491 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:14,460 YOU POOR BABY! 492 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:16,460 NO, NO, NO! I'M LUCKY -- 493 00:21:16,490 --> 00:21:17,860 LUCKY TO LIVE IN AN AGE 494 00:21:17,890 --> 00:21:20,400 WHEN THERE ARE VARIOUS TOOLS AVAILABLE 495 00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:23,070 OF WHICH THOSE OF MY ILK CAN AVAIL THEMSELVES. 496 00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,700 SEE, THERE IS NUMBING CREAM. THAT'S GOOD STUFF. 497 00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:28,700 UH, EXTRA-THICK CONDOMS... 498 00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:29,840 ANAL BEADS? 499 00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:31,910 OH, NO. THEY SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS BOX. 500 00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:34,380 THOSE PUPPIES MAKE ME COME LIKE A FIRE HOSE. 501 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,510 HEY. HEY! 502 00:21:38,550 --> 00:21:39,580 OKAY. 503 00:21:39,620 --> 00:21:42,420 YOU ARE NOT GONNA NEED ANY OF THAT STUFF WITH ME. 504 00:21:43,490 --> 00:21:45,750 W-- HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! 505 00:21:45,790 --> 00:21:48,020 LOOK, I CAN'T SEE YOU NAKED YET. 506 00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:49,460 OKAY. 507 00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:51,490 I'M GONNA COACH YOU THROUGH THIS. 508 00:21:51,530 --> 00:21:53,560 COCK CONTROL IS MAINLY MENTAL. 509 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,030 SO, WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING TEEN MOMENT? 510 00:21:57,070 --> 00:22:00,000 HIGH SCHOOL. STATE DEBATE CHAMPIONSHIP. 511 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,440 YEAH, I WAS AHEAD, AND THEN I POPPED A BONER. 512 00:22:03,470 --> 00:22:05,040 SO JUST THINK ABOUT THAT. 513 00:22:05,070 --> 00:22:07,380 NO GOOD. I SHAME-JIZZ. 514 00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:08,610 OKAY. 515 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,580 I'LL JUST DO THE YONIC PRETZEL. 516 00:22:10,610 --> 00:22:12,980 WHAT THE FUCK IS A YONIC PRETZEL? 517 00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:14,720 IT'S LIKE A NEGATIVE KEGEL. 518 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,490 A NEGATIVE WHAT? OKAY. 519 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:17,890 IT'S JUST COMPLICATED VAGINA SHIT. 520 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,060 EVERY TIME YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA BLOW, 521 00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:21,060 JUST PINCH ME. 522 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,490 AND THEN THAT'LL BE MY CUE TO PRETZEL, OKAY? 523 00:22:23,530 --> 00:22:24,830 I DON'T KNOW. 524 00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:26,330 TRUST ME. 525 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:30,930 YOU BELIEVED IN ME, AND I BELIEVE IN YOU. 526 00:22:30,970 --> 00:22:34,570 I'M GONNA GET YOU THROUGH THIS. 527 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,010 MM. 528 00:22:45,050 --> 00:22:47,580 HERE. ME? OKAY. YEAH. 529 00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:50,850 A LITTLE ANAESTHETIC NEVER HURT. 530 00:22:52,890 --> 00:22:54,920 [ SIGHS ] AND YOU'RE RIGHT. 531 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,190 I AM AN ASSHOLE. 532 00:22:56,220 --> 00:22:57,360 I KNOW. 533 00:22:57,390 --> 00:23:01,730 I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU AND SAY THAT MIA IS AN OLD SOUL, 534 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,800 BUT... 535 00:23:02,830 --> 00:23:06,800 SHE IS CHARMING... 536 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,070 WITTY, AND GORGEOUS. 537 00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:12,140 YES, BUT SHE'S LESS THAN HALF YOUR AGE, LEW. 538 00:23:12,170 --> 00:23:14,740 OKAY, BUT BY THE TIME CHARMING, WITTY, AND GORGEOUS WOMEN 539 00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:16,910 GET TO BE MY AGE, THEY WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. 540 00:23:16,950 --> 00:23:19,480 OKAY, SO THAT'S YOUR RATIONALE. THAT'S OKAY. 541 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,750 NO, IT'S TRUE. TAKE YOURSELF, FOR EXAMPLE. 542 00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:23,690 I MEAN, YOU'VE HAD YOUR SHARE OF MAN-CHILDREN. 543 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,220 EXCUSE ME! WOO-HOO! 544 00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:27,720 UM, YOU'D SEE ME COMING A MILE AWAY, RIGHT? 545 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,720 MM-HMM. 546 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,560 MAN'S GOT A POINT. 547 00:23:31,590 --> 00:23:34,030 BUT I GUESS I WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN YOU COMING AT 17, 548 00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:36,060 WHICH IS WHY WE PROTECT OUR CHILDREN. 549 00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:37,230 OKAY. OKAY. 550 00:23:37,270 --> 00:23:39,030 THE WHOLE AGE THING'S A REAL STICKING POINT WITH YOU. 551 00:23:39,070 --> 00:23:40,700 NO -- GEEZ. HEY, FORGIVE A GUY. 552 00:23:40,740 --> 00:23:41,970 CAN YOU JUST FORGIVE A GUY? 553 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,070 I MEAN, SURELY, 554 00:23:43,110 --> 00:23:45,510 THERE'S OTHER OLDER MEN THAT HAVE DATED MIA, RIGHT? 555 00:23:45,540 --> 00:23:46,980 NO. NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW. 556 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:49,480 AND IF YOU DID KNOW? I DON'T KNOW. 557 00:23:49,510 --> 00:23:50,710 IF THEY WERE LIKE YOU, 558 00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:52,850 I WOULDN'T SPEAK WITH THEM EVER AGAIN. 559 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,050 INTERESTING. 560 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,880 WHAT'S INTERESTING? 561 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,490 WELL, 'CAUSE WE'RE TRUTH-TELLING, UM... 562 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:02,890 WHAT? 563 00:24:02,930 --> 00:24:05,060 NOTHING. 564 00:24:05,090 --> 00:24:06,630 UH, I... 565 00:24:06,660 --> 00:24:08,630 I TAKE WOMEN AS THEY COME TO ME. OH, THAT'S -- 566 00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:11,870 ANY WOMAN WHO IS KIND ENOUGH TO HAVE ME, I DON'T QUESTION. 567 00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:14,040 THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. THAT'S -- THAT'S NICE OF YOU, LEW. 568 00:24:14,070 --> 00:24:16,170 I MISSED A LITTLE BIT. I -- 569 00:24:19,070 --> 00:24:20,880 WHAT THE FUCK?! 570 00:24:20,910 --> 00:24:22,110 [ LAUGHS ] 571 00:24:22,140 --> 00:24:24,280 I THOUGHT I SAW A GREEN LIGHT THERE. I DID. 572 00:24:24,310 --> 00:24:26,180 NO. NO, ABSOLUTELY. 573 00:24:26,210 --> 00:24:27,880 W-WHAT? 574 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,750 I'VE GOT TO GO. YOU'RE INSANE. 575 00:24:30,790 --> 00:24:32,020 [ DOOR OPENS ] 576 00:24:32,050 --> 00:24:33,820 CALL ME. [ DOOR CLOSES ] 577 00:24:33,860 --> 00:24:35,820 [ CHUCKLES ] 578 00:24:35,860 --> 00:24:39,290 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 579 00:24:39,330 --> 00:24:40,700 WOW. 580 00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:43,630 YOUR JEDI CLAM TRICKS REALLY WORK. 581 00:24:43,670 --> 00:24:44,630 YEAH? 582 00:24:44,670 --> 00:24:46,540 YEAH. I'M REALLY DOING IT. 583 00:24:46,570 --> 00:24:48,040 STAYING IN THE GAME. 584 00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:49,810 MY PENIS IS STILL IN YOUR VAGINA. 585 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,140 WAY TO GO, CHAMP! 586 00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:56,880 HOLY SHIT! 587 00:24:56,910 --> 00:24:58,750 I'M KING OF FUCK MOUNTAIN! 588 00:24:58,780 --> 00:24:59,880 I COULD GO FOR DAYS! 589 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:03,220 OH, WELL, UM, THAT'S NOT TOTALLY NECESSARY. 590 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:05,620 OH, IT'S NO PROBLEM. YOU JUST ENJOY YOURSELF. 591 00:25:05,650 --> 00:25:07,020 I'M ACTUALLY A LITTLE SORE. 592 00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:10,730 OH. THAT'S COOL. COMING IS MY FAVORITE PART. 593 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,660 WELL, YOU EARNED IT. 594 00:25:12,700 --> 00:25:14,960 OKAY. GO! 595 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,870 [ TELEPHONE RINGING ] GO! 596 00:25:16,900 --> 00:25:19,670 OKAY, PLEASE DON'T PICK THAT UP. 597 00:25:19,700 --> 00:25:20,970 I'M CHAFING. 598 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,940 Charlie, it's Ilene. Where the hell is my daughter? 599 00:25:23,970 --> 00:25:25,970 She doesn't pick up. She doesn't call. 600 00:25:26,010 --> 00:25:27,040 What the fuck, Runkle?! 601 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,650 She had manners before she married you. 602 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:30,780 [ Receiver clicks ] 603 00:25:30,810 --> 00:25:32,650 SON OF A BITCH! 604 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,320 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 605 00:25:34,350 --> 00:25:36,180 HEY, IT'S THE LITTLEST OF THE MOODYS. 606 00:25:36,220 --> 00:25:38,990 I GOT SOME SUSHI. PLAY SOME GUITAR HERO. WHAT DO YOU SAY? 607 00:25:39,020 --> 00:25:40,190 MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME, DAD. 608 00:25:40,220 --> 00:25:43,130 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I GOT THE KIND WITH THE PAPER BOATS. 609 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:44,790 YOU LOVE YOU SOME PAPER BOATS. 610 00:25:44,830 --> 00:25:45,930 I'M MEETING DAMIEN. 611 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,100 OH, NO. OH, OHH. 612 00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:50,030 YOU KNOW, FUCK THAT HARRY CHAPIN. 613 00:25:50,070 --> 00:25:52,370 PROPHETIC BASTARD -- "CAT'S IN THE CRADLE." 614 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:53,870 MOTHERFUCKER. 615 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:55,870 I SHOULD HAVE PICKED HER UP. 616 00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:58,210 RIGHT. WELL, IT'S NOT HER LOSS. 617 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:02,240 YOU KNOW, UM, YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, AND NOW YOU DON'T, SO... 618 00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:05,150 OH, YEAH. YOU WANT SUSHI? 619 00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:06,920 NO. UH, WOULD THAT I COULD. 620 00:26:06,950 --> 00:26:09,920 I-I HAVE TO GO MEET SONJA AND, UM, YOUR BEST FRIEND 621 00:26:09,950 --> 00:26:11,820 AT THE GALLERY AT THE BERGAMOT. 622 00:26:11,850 --> 00:26:13,320 OH, THE BEARDED BOZO? MM-HMM. 623 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:15,620 WELL, TAKE SOME WITH. I GOT WAY TOO MUCH. I GOT... 624 00:26:15,660 --> 00:26:17,660 I GOT LIKE 20 POUNDS. OH, NO. YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T TRAVEL SO WELL. 625 00:26:17,690 --> 00:26:18,690 ...PAPER BOATS. THANK YOU. 626 00:26:18,730 --> 00:26:21,860 BUT YOU COULD, YOU KNOW, JUST MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME 627 00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,900 AND -- AND -- AND LOCK UP AFTER. 628 00:26:23,930 --> 00:26:27,940 WELL, YEAH. THIS USED TO BE MY HOME ONCE. 629 00:26:27,970 --> 00:26:31,910 AND I USED TO BE YOUR GIRL ONCE. 630 00:26:33,340 --> 00:26:35,940 OKAY. HEY, ABOUT, UM... 631 00:26:35,980 --> 00:26:38,080 YOU KNOW, THE MIA THING WITH ASHBY. 632 00:26:38,110 --> 00:26:39,150 OH. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. 633 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:40,780 I'M GONNA PROTECT HER. 634 00:26:40,820 --> 00:26:43,250 OH. IT'S ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF. 635 00:26:43,290 --> 00:26:45,920 NO, NO. IT'S UNFORGIVABLE. SHE'S STILL A KID. 636 00:26:45,950 --> 00:26:46,990 UH-HUH. I TOOK CARE OF IT. 637 00:26:47,020 --> 00:26:48,220 HOW? HOW DID YOU DO THAT? 638 00:26:48,260 --> 00:26:50,330 I MEAN, THE GUY'S AN ANIMAL, A MOVING TRAIN. 639 00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:52,160 HE'S PURE ID. 640 00:26:52,190 --> 00:26:56,000 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. UM... 641 00:26:56,030 --> 00:26:58,230 BUT HE IS A GREAT KISSER, SO... 642 00:26:58,270 --> 00:26:59,270 WHAT? 643 00:27:00,940 --> 00:27:03,310 WHA-- I THINK YOU HEARD ME. 644 00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:04,670 I -- MM-HMM. 645 00:27:04,710 --> 00:27:10,350 SO, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO SEE A MAN ABOUT A HORSE. 646 00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:16,080 * HOW CAN I BE WRONG IF THE DECISION'S ALREADY MADE? * 647 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:24,190 * WOMAN, I FEEL, I FEEL A MILLION MILES AWAY * 648 00:27:24,230 --> 00:27:29,700 * OH, WOMAN * 649 00:27:30,870 --> 00:27:37,140 * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE 650 00:27:37,170 --> 00:27:43,410 * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE 651 00:27:48,180 --> 00:27:49,350 * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE * YOUR FACE IS THAT PLACE 652 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,830 * THERE'S A PLACE FOR US WHERE AGE HAS NO NAME * 653 00:27:56,860 --> 00:27:59,830 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 654 00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:02,900 CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY SHOWTIME NETWORKS 655 00:28:02,930 --> 00:28:05,200 AND BLIND DECKER PRODUCTIONS 46302

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