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1
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,200
PREVIOUSLY ON
"CALIFORNICATION"...
2
00:00:12,060 --> 00:00:14,230
THAT'S IT!
BIG, STOP THE VAN!
WHAT?
3
00:00:14,260 --> 00:00:15,500
OVITZ!
HIT THE BRICKS!
4
00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:17,100
SEE YOU AT THE OSCARS, PAL.
5
00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:18,270
I'VE BEEN BUSTING MY NUTS
FOR WEEKS
6
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,640
JUST TRYING TO GET A FRIGGIN'
MEETING WITH RONNY PRAEGER.
7
00:00:20,670 --> 00:00:22,240
YOU GOT DAISY THE PART!
8
00:00:22,270 --> 00:00:23,840
I HAD TO INVEST 100 GRAND
IN HIS MOVIE.
9
00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:26,540
YOU DON'T KNOW ME. MY NAME
IS HANK MOODY. I'M A WRITER.
10
00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:28,610
I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION
ABOUT LEW -- LEW ASHBY.
11
00:00:28,650 --> 00:00:31,250
CALL ME "HE WHO WILL KILL YOU
IF YOU TOUCH HIS DAUGHTER."
12
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,280
SHE'S PRETTY AWESOME.
SHE IS.
13
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,750
[ SNORTS ]
OH!
14
00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:37,390
THAT THIRSTY LITTLE NOSE OF
YOURS IS COSTING US SOME MONEY.
15
00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:39,560
YOU JUST PUT THE BULK
OF OUR NEST EGG
16
00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:41,560
INTO A MOVIE CALLED
"VAGINATOWN."
17
00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:43,490
WHAT'S WRONG
WITH CLITTES?
COKE DICK.
18
00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:45,300
WE'RE GONNA NEED
A STUNT COCK.
19
00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:47,730
YOU WILL GET IN THERE
AND DRIVE MISS DAISY.
20
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,170
OHH!
[ MOANS ]
21
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,800
DID WE GET THAT?
22
00:00:50,830 --> 00:00:52,600
LOOK, I HAVE MANY VICES,
MY FRIEND,
23
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,300
BUT JAILBAIT
AIN'T ONE OF THEM.
24
00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:56,110
[ LAUGHS ]
25
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,840
EXCUSE ME, GENTS.
26
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,550
ALL RIGHT,
REPEAT AFTER ME.
27
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:09,650
I WILL NEVER...
28
00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:10,820
"I WILL NEVER..."
29
00:01:10,850 --> 00:01:12,520
...EVER...
"...EVER..."
30
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,260
...FUCK MIA AGAIN.
31
00:01:14,290 --> 00:01:15,860
"...FUCK MIA AGAIN."
32
00:01:15,890 --> 00:01:17,730
THANK YOU.
33
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,330
JESUS. JUST SAYING IT
GETS ME WET.
34
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:21,400
[ SCOFFS ]
35
00:01:21,430 --> 00:01:22,630
[ LAUGHS ]
FUCK YOU.
36
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:25,270
FIND SOMEBODY ELSE TO PEN YOUR
SORDID, LITTLE FUCKING TALE.
37
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:26,470
COME ON, MAN.
DON'T LEAVE.
38
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:27,800
WE GOT
A GOOD THING GOING HERE.
39
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,810
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE I HAD ME A...FRIEND.
40
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,340
AW, SHUCKS.
I'M ALMOST TOUCHED.
41
00:01:31,380 --> 00:01:32,680
BUT YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME
42
00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:35,810
TO INDULGE YOUR EVERY
FUCKING DEPRAVED WHIM!
43
00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:36,950
JESUS CHRIST.
44
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:39,820
I JUST REALIZED WHAT IT
MUST BE LIKE TO LIVE WITH ME.
45
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,820
YOU KNOW, I-I REALLY
DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE GONNA BE
46
00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:43,620
SUCH A FUCKING NINNY
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.
47
00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:44,520
OH, A "NINNY"?
48
00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:46,920
B-BECAUSE I'VE HAD MY SHARE
OF THE TANG?
49
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,830
BECAUSE I HAVE MY OWN
SORDID PAST TO CONTEND WITH?
50
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,360
NO. BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME
THAT YOU GUYS FUCKED.
51
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,130
OH.
52
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,530
BE THAT AS IT MAY...
53
00:01:57,570 --> 00:01:58,840
REPEAT AFTER ME...
54
00:02:46,450 --> 00:02:48,520
YOU GOT TO GET ME
OUT OF THIS SHIT, CHARLIE.
55
00:02:48,550 --> 00:02:50,420
I CAN'T GET YOU
OUT OF ANYTHING, HANK.
56
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:51,920
YOU SIGNED
A FUCKING CONTRACT.
57
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,690
SINCE WHEN
HAS THAT EVER MATTERED?
58
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:54,690
LOOK, IT'S EITHER THIS
59
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,260
OR YOU DO THE ADAPTATION
OF "FUCKING & PUNCHING."
60
00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:59,300
OR, WAIT, NO.
I'M SORRY. I TAKE THAT BACK.
61
00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:01,270
I DON'T THINK
I CAN GET YOU THAT JOB.
62
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,430
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
THE GUY'S GONE KURTZ.
63
00:03:03,470 --> 00:03:05,300
HE NEEDS A DOCTOR,
NOT A BIOGRAPHER.
64
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:07,440
NO ONE SAID YOU HAD TO MOVE IN
WITH THE GUY.
65
00:03:07,470 --> 00:03:09,340
YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING HALFWAY,
DO YOU?
66
00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:11,710
SAYS THE MAN HOLDING
THE PLASTIC ASS-GINA.
HEY.
67
00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:13,680
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE WE DOING HERE, ANYWAY?
68
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,580
OOF.
[ Distorted voice ]
HELLO!
69
00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:16,810
I'M EDUMACATING MYSELF
70
00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:19,450
AS TO THE VARIOUS
MARKETING OPPORTUNITIES
71
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,690
AVAILABLE
TO THE YOUNG PORN STARLET.
72
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,350
HOLY SHIT. YOU REALLY
LIKE THIS GIRL, HUH?
73
00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:25,820
YEAH.
OF COURSE I LIKE HER.
74
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:27,820
I LIKE HER IN THE KIND,
PATERNAL WAY
75
00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:30,660
ANY AGENT LIKES SOMEONE
WHOSE CAREER IS IN HIS HANDS.
76
00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:33,460
HOW ABOUT IN THE KIND,
PATERNAL WAY IN WHICH A BOY
77
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,330
SOMETIMES LIKES TO STICK
HIS PEE-PEE INSIDE A GIRL?
78
00:03:36,370 --> 00:03:37,900
YOU LIKE HER THAT WAY,
TOO?
79
00:03:37,930 --> 00:03:40,800
I KIND OF DID THAT
ALREADY.
80
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,470
WHAT?
81
00:03:42,510 --> 00:03:44,440
NIGGA, PLEASE!
82
00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:46,910
I HAD TO STEP IN AND STUNT-COCK.
THAT'S ALL.
83
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:47,910
"STUNT-COCK"?
84
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:49,910
LONG STORY.
YOU HAD TO BE THERE.
85
00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:51,750
STUNT-COCK.
86
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:52,880
HOLY SHIT, JOHNNY WAD.
87
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,880
HOW WE GONNA KEEP YOU DOWN
ON THE FARM
88
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,920
NOW THAT YOU'VE PENETRATED
A PORN STAR?
89
00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:58,820
IT WAS JUST THE TIP.
JUST THE TIP, THEN I POPPED.
90
00:03:58,860 --> 00:03:59,820
NATURALLY.
91
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:02,630
HERE'S THE DEAL.
THIS IS WHAT WE'VE GOT TO DO.
92
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,700
YOU GOT TO GO HOME AND GRAB
COKEY SMURF, MEET ME AT L.A.X.
93
00:04:05,730 --> 00:04:08,430
WE GOT TO GET
THE HELL OUT OF TOWN, PALOMINO.
94
00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:10,330
I MEAN, WE ARE DOWN
THE RABBIT HOLE,
95
00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:12,470
AND I'M AFRAID
WE AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK.
96
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,480
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
97
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,320
OW!
98
00:04:30,620 --> 00:04:32,860
[ HANK GRUNTS ]
OH, MY GOD!
ARE YOU OKAY?
99
00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:33,860
JESUS CHRIST, LADY!
100
00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:35,590
YOU JUST
CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
101
00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:36,990
YOU COULD HAVE
KILLED ME.
102
00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:38,930
LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE TO
GET YOUR NAME
103
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,700
FOR INSURANCE PURPOSES
AND WHATNOT.
104
00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,630
OH, MY GOD.
105
00:04:42,670 --> 00:04:45,400
YOU'RE THAT ASSHOLE.
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
106
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,800
YOU KNOW,
IT SADDENS ME TO THINK
107
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,870
THAT WHEN YOU HAVE
AN INTERNAL DIALOGUE ABOUT ME,
108
00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:51,010
I'M "THAT ASSHOLE" AND NOT
"THAT HANDSOME STRANGER"
109
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,580
OR "THAT GUY WHO MADE A MESS
OF MY BUSH -- HANK MOODY."
110
00:04:54,610 --> 00:04:57,080
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN,
MRS...?
111
00:04:57,110 --> 00:04:58,480
JONES.
112
00:04:58,520 --> 00:04:59,720
JONES?
113
00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:00,820
REALLY?
YEAH.
114
00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:03,390
AFTER ALL THIS INTRIGUE,
THAT'S KIND OF A LETDOWN.
115
00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,920
JANIE JONES.
116
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,020
OH, LIKE THE CLASH SONG.
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
117
00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,360
I'M HALF-CHUBBED.
118
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:10,760
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE FORGET ABOUT
119
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:13,400
THIS WHOLE "VEHICULAR
MANSLAUGHTER" THING
AND I BUY YOU A DRINK?
120
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,470
YEAH,
I DON'T THINK SO.
HEY. WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA!
121
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:16,670
YOU KNOW,
I REALLY THOUGHT THAT
122
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,370
THE THREAT OF LEGAL ACTION
WAS GONNA DO IT,
123
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,400
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE
I'M GONNA HAVE TO EMPLOY
124
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,770
MY CONSIDERABLE POWERS
OF SEDUCTION.
125
00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:23,840
YOU READY?
126
00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:24,810
OH, YEAH.
127
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,110
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
128
00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:31,520
I GOT NOTHING.
THAT'S IT. I'M OUT.
129
00:05:31,550 --> 00:05:33,580
NO, TOMORROW NIGHT,
IN VENICE, MARAT.
130
00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:36,650
I'LL BE THE ONE STARING INTO
THE BOTTOMLESS PIT OF DESPAIR.
131
00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:38,690
GET THERE EARLY
BEFORE I WET MYSELF.
132
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,690
[ LAUGHS ]
OH, YEAH!
133
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:41,860
NAILED IT!
134
00:05:41,890 --> 00:05:45,500
OH, THAT'S RIGHT --
I STILL GOT IT.
135
00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:47,830
OKAY. I SHOULDN'T BE
TELLING YOU GUYS THIS,
136
00:05:47,860 --> 00:05:49,800
BUT BECCA
IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE.
137
00:05:49,830 --> 00:05:50,730
OH, THANK GOD!
138
00:05:50,770 --> 00:05:52,570
I-I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA
COME DOWN ON HER
139
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,400
FOR BEING A SATANIST
OR SOMETHING, SO.
140
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:55,570
OH, PLEASE.
141
00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:57,940
I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY
THAT WHOLE THING'S JUST A PHASE,
142
00:05:57,970 --> 00:05:59,840
AND, YOU KNOW, IT PROBABLY
HAS SOMETHING TO DO
143
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,810
WITH WHATEVER MIGHT BE GOING ON
BETWEEN YOU TWO.
144
00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:03,950
OH.
145
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:04,880
I'M SORRY.
146
00:06:04,910 --> 00:06:07,680
SHE MADE REFERENCE
TO SOME CHANGES AT HOME.
147
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,790
WELL, UM,
LONG STORY SHORT, UM,
148
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:14,520
WE WERE TOGETHER,
AND NOW WE'RE APART.
149
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,290
AGAIN.
150
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,530
SO, YOU'RE DIVORCED?
NOT EXACTLY.
151
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,160
IT'S OKAY.
I'M NOT JUDGING.
152
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,700
YOU KNOW, I'M DIVORCED.
153
00:06:20,730 --> 00:06:22,130
PRETTY RECENTLY,
ACTUALLY.
154
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:23,570
OH, I'M SORRY.
RIGHT ON!
155
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,700
HANK.
156
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:26,940
UM, WE WERE NEVER MARRIED,
SO THE DIVORCE THING IS...
157
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,610
NO, BUT I DID ASK.
A NUMBER OF TIMES.
158
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,110
OKAY, NOT THE TIME
OR THE PLACE, HANK.
159
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,740
I GAVE HER A RING.
SHE GAVE IT BACK.
160
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,010
I GAVE IT
TO A HOMELESS WOMAN.
161
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,110
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S SO SAD.
162
00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:36,910
IT WORKED OUT
FOR THE HOMELESS WOMAN.
163
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,020
SO, UM, NONE OF THAT
REALLY MATTERS RIGHT NOW.
164
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:40,720
WHAT MATTERS IS THAT,
UM,
165
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:43,620
WE'RE TOGETHER
WHEN IT COMES TO RAISING BECCA.
166
00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:44,820
WELL, YES,
BUT NOT ALWAYS.
167
00:06:44,850 --> 00:06:47,920
FOR INSTANCE, I WANT BECCA TO BE
A LESBIAN WHEN SHE GROWS UP,
168
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,860
AND KAREN JUST WANTS HER
TO BE HAPPY.
169
00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:52,530
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
LIKE, YOU CAN'T BE BOTH?
170
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,600
[ CLAPS HANDS ]
A HAPPY LESBIAN?
171
00:06:54,630 --> 00:06:55,730
[ LAUGHS ]
172
00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:57,500
Karen: CLASSY.
YEAH, I KNOW.
173
00:06:57,530 --> 00:06:59,940
YOU THINK, WITH ALL THE MONEY
THAT WE SPEND,
174
00:06:59,970 --> 00:07:02,040
THEY COULD AFFORD
SOME PROPER GLASSWARE.
175
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:04,510
[ MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY ]
176
00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:07,540
HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN MIA
LATELY?
177
00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:09,750
NO. WHY?
NO MORE THAN USUAL.
178
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:10,680
WELL,
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
179
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:11,820
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
180
00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:14,750
W-- I-I DON'T KNOW.
W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
181
00:07:14,780 --> 00:07:16,850
WELL, NO, IT'S JUST
I KEEP STOPPING BY BILL'S
182
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:18,720
TO CHECK ON HER,
AND SHE'S NEVER HOME.
183
00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,220
SO, I KNOW SHE LIKES
TO HANG OUT
184
00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:22,190
AT ASHBY'S DEN OF INIQUITY,
AND SO DO YOU.
185
00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:24,130
I HAVE.
I HAVE SEEN HER THERE.
RIGHT.
186
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,500
YEAH. YOU KNOW,
ONCE IN A WHILE, NOT OFTEN.
187
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,730
DOES SHE HAVE
A BOYFRIEND?
188
00:07:28,770 --> 00:07:31,500
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT IS THIS,
"SEX AND THE CITY," GIRLFRIEND?
189
00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:33,140
WHAT'S WITH ALL
THE QUESTIONS?
190
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:35,840
WELL, IT'S JUST,
LAST TIME SHE CAME FOR DINNER,
191
00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:37,940
SHE WAS ASKING ME
ALL THESE QUESTIONS
192
00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:39,280
ABOUT DATING AN OLDER MAN,
193
00:07:39,310 --> 00:07:42,150
AND IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS KIND OF
ASKING MY APPROVAL.
194
00:07:42,180 --> 00:07:44,610
WELL, I HOPE YOU
SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN IMMEDIATELY.
195
00:07:44,650 --> 00:07:46,050
NO.
I MEAN, WHY WOULD I?
196
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,690
YOU KNOW, IT'S A PERFECTLY VALID
LIFE EXPERIENCE
197
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,020
IF IT'S THE RIGHT GUY.
198
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,720
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
199
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,020
WHY NOT?
200
00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:56,590
I DATED
ONE OF MY PROFESSORS ONCE.
201
00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:57,530
THAT'S FOUL.
202
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,830
HE WAS YOUNGER
THAN YOU ARE NOW, ACTUALLY.
203
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:01,530
I'M NAUSEOUS, ACTUALLY.
204
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,270
THE SEX WAS FANTASTIC,
ACTUALLY.
205
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:05,740
[ LAUGHS ] NOW YOU'RE JUST
TRYING TO GET MY GOAT.
206
00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:06,800
AM I GETTING IT?
207
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,610
YES! NOW, YOU'RE ONLY
GONNA HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME
208
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:10,840
IF THIS THING
GETS OUT OF HAND.
209
00:08:10,870 --> 00:08:13,780
WHAT THING?
THIS GROSS
"OLDER MAN" THING.
210
00:08:13,810 --> 00:08:15,910
NO. WELL, I WANT YOU
TO KEEP AN EYE OUT.
211
00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:19,020
I MEAN, MAKE SURE THAT SHE
DOESN'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR ASHBY.
212
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:21,280
THAT GUY
IS SUCH A FUCKING SCUMBAG.
213
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,290
WELL, HE MEANS WELL,
YOU KNOW?
214
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:25,560
THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR.
HMM.
215
00:08:25,590 --> 00:08:27,990
I GOT TO GO...
"PHYLLIS."
GOODBYE.
216
00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:29,560
YOU'RE RIDICULOUS.
217
00:08:29,590 --> 00:08:30,960
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
OKAY, OKAY.
218
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:32,300
YOUR HAIR SMELLS GOOD.
219
00:08:32,330 --> 00:08:33,300
GOOD.
220
00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:35,300
IT SMELLS LIKE LADY HAIR.
221
00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:36,600
[ CHUCKLES ]
222
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,670
[ CUP SLAMS ]
223
00:08:44,140 --> 00:08:45,710
HEY.
224
00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:48,680
HEY YOURSELF, MRS. P.
225
00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:51,350
I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW
I LOVE YOUR WRITING.
226
00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:52,320
OH. QUITE POSSIBLY
227
00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:55,320
MY FOUR FAVORITE WORDS
IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
228
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:57,150
HITS ALL
THE PLEASURE CENTERS.
229
00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,660
POSITIVELY RHAPSODIC.
230
00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:01,630
I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO SAY IT
231
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:03,890
IN FRONT OF YOUR, UM...YOUR
EX-WIFE, LOVER, OR WHATEVER.
232
00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:06,630
OH, GOD. I WISH YOU HAD.
THAT WOULD'VE PISSED HER OFF.
233
00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:08,030
YOU LIKE PISSING HER OFF,
DON'T YOU?
234
00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:09,030
I DO.
235
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,070
I LIKE PISSING OFF
MY EX, TOO.
236
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,900
COOL.
IS HE WATCHING?
237
00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:14,770
YEAH,
FROM THE WINDOW.
238
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,940
OH, WELL, I'LL MAKE SURE
TO USE MY GOOD COCK.
239
00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:20,640
JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I'M ON MY PERIOD.
240
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:22,810
NOT SURE I NEEDED
A VERBAL ON THAT,
241
00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:25,280
FOR I CARE VERY LITTLE
ABOUT SUCH THINGS.
242
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:26,280
I WAS IN NAM.
243
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,150
GOD. MY EX ALWAYS CARED.
HE THOUGHT IT WAS DIRTY.
244
00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:30,990
OH, IT IS DIRTY...
IN A GOOD WAY.
245
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:33,820
ALSO, I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TIME
TO TRIM THE HEDGES LATELY,
246
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:35,290
IF YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M SAYING.
247
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,030
I DO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,
AND, AGAIN, NO WORRIES.
248
00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:40,900
I ENJOY
A GENEROUS THICKET.
249
00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:43,000
[ MOANS ]
I GOT TO TELL YOU,
250
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,900
YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT PERIODS
AND PUBIC HAIR
251
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:48,140
HAVE JUST MADE ME
A BIGGER FAN.
252
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:48,940
IT'S WHAT I DO.
253
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:51,310
ANYTHING ELSE
YOU CARE TO DISCLOSE?
254
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:54,040
I'M VERY EXCITED
ABOUT FUCKING YOU RIGHT NOW.
255
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,680
OH, YOU ARE A CHATTY ONE,
MRS. PATTERSON.
256
00:09:58,780 --> 00:09:59,980
BABY.
257
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:01,650
Baby!
258
00:10:01,690 --> 00:10:02,820
LOOK WHO I FOUND.
259
00:10:02,850 --> 00:10:04,650
HMM?
260
00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:06,320
DAISY?
261
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,320
WH-WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT'S WRONG?
262
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,890
SHE WAS SLEEPING OUTSIDE
IN HER FUCKING CAR!
263
00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:12,830
I DIDN'T WANT
TO BOTHER YOU GUYS.
264
00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,660
I JUST DIDN'T KNOW
WHERE TO GO.
265
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,270
MY FUCKING MANAGER SHOWED UP
AT MY APARTMENT AND --
266
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,500
YOU HAVE A MANAGER?
267
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:22,310
YOU REMEMBER THE GUY WHO WAS
SHOOTING THE "SLAM VAN" STUFF?
268
00:10:22,340 --> 00:10:25,440
THAT SMELLY, SLEAZY FUCK?
THAT'S YOUR MANAGER?
269
00:10:25,470 --> 00:10:29,910
NO. YOU'RE MY MANAGER.
HE'S JUST A FUCKING SCUMBAG.
270
00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:33,680
[ SIGHS ] AND YOU DIDN'T THINK
THIS WAS WORTH MENTIONING?
271
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,690
I WAS JUST SCARED YOU WOULDN'T
WANT TO WORK WITH ME.
272
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,090
AND THEN EVERYTHING
JUST HAPPENED SO FAST.
273
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,420
I'M REALLY SORRY,
CHARLIE.
WHAT DOES HE WANT?
274
00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:44,190
MONEY. HE WANTS TO BE
BOUGHT OUT OF HIS CONTRACT.
275
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,430
OH,
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
276
00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,200
CLIENTS GET POACHED
ALL THE TIME.
277
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,470
I PUT YOU IN "VAGINATOWN,"
I GET THE COMMISSION.
278
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:51,300
WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT I TOLD HIM.
279
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:52,300
AND WHAT DID HE SAY?
280
00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:54,340
HE TRASHED MY APARTMENT
AND ATE ALL MY FOOD.
281
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:55,810
I'M JUST GONNA CRASH
IN MY CAR.
282
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,110
I JUST REALLY DON'T WANT TO
PUT YOU GUYS OUT.
283
00:10:58,140 --> 00:11:00,410
NO, NO, NO. DON'T BE SILLY.
DON'T BE SILLY.
284
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,910
WE'LL -- WE'LL MAKE UP
THE GUEST ROOM.
285
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,480
JUST GET INTO BED,
BABY.
286
00:11:04,510 --> 00:11:06,750
MOMMY AND DADDY
WILL KEEP YOU SAFE.
287
00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:07,480
MARCY!
288
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,720
WHAT?!
SHE'S SCARED SHITLESS.
289
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:11,760
COME ON, DAIS.
290
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:13,120
I'M TOO TIRED
TO FRESHEN UP
291
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,020
THE FUCKING GUEST ROOM.
292
00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:16,860
MAMA NEEDS HER SLEEP.
293
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:23,030
[ SIGHS ]
294
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,070
[ MOANING ]
295
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,300
WHOA!
296
00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:31,440
OH.
297
00:11:31,470 --> 00:11:34,040
OH, GOD.
298
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,110
OH, THAT WAS EXACTLY
WHAT I NEEDED.
299
00:11:37,150 --> 00:11:39,420
WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, LADY.
HAPPY TO PROTECT AND SERVE.
300
00:11:39,450 --> 00:11:41,320
UH-OH.
WHAT?
301
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,790
I THINK I'M GONNA CRY.
302
00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:47,320
OH, DEAR.
DON'T DO THAT.
303
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:51,130
NO. IT'S, UH -- IT'S NOT
A BAD THING. IT'S, UM...
304
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,900
COMING MAKES ME CRY.
I MEAN, ON OCCASION.
305
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,130
I-I-I GET THAT.
306
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,170
I MEAN, SOMETIMES,
AFTER I COME,
307
00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,040
I WANT TO...WEEP,
YOU KNOW?
308
00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:02,010
BUT, USUALLY, I JUST NAP.
309
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,210
YOU KNOW?
310
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,810
[ WHIMPERS ]
311
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,080
YOU WANT ME
TO HUG YOU OR, UH...
312
00:12:08,110 --> 00:12:10,280
COMFORT YOU IN SOME...
313
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,250
FASHION?
314
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,080
[ Sobbing ] NO,
THAT'S NICE OF YOU TO OFFER,
315
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,050
BUT IT'S --
IT'S NOT NECESSARY.
316
00:12:16,090 --> 00:12:17,050
OKAY.
317
00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:18,520
[ SOBBING ]
318
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,790
HEY, WHERE'S THE SHITTER
IN THIS JOINT?
319
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:25,490
DOWN THE STAIRS,
TO THE RIGHT.
320
00:12:37,940 --> 00:12:40,080
DAMIEN?
321
00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:42,480
[ With mouth full ]
MR. MOODY?
322
00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:47,880
YOU FUCKED MY MOM.
323
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,320
I FUCKED YOUR MOM?
324
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:53,860
I fucked your mom.
325
00:12:56,330 --> 00:12:58,960
DID YOU HURT HER?
326
00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:11,240
[ DISTANT LAUGHTER ]
327
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,520
OH, NO!
YOU DIDN'T!
328
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,490
I CAN EXPLAIN.
329
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:23,620
OH, NO, YOU CAN'T.
330
00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:25,090
IT'S NOT
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
331
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,260
SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN
TO REASON.
332
00:13:26,290 --> 00:13:29,490
I DIDN'T SEE YOU PUT UP
MUCH OF A FIGHT THERE, LOVER.
333
00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:31,900
YOU GUYS HAVE GOT TO STOP THIS!
THIS IS SICK AND WRONG!
334
00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:32,730
[ SCOFFS ] SURE.
335
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,460
IT'S SICK AND WRONG
WHEN HE DOES IT,
336
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,500
BUT IT'S PERFECTLY FINE
FOR YOU TO FUCK ME.
337
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,370
STOP SAYING THAT OUT LOUD.
IT'S NOT OKAY.
338
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,140
THAT'S WHY WE NEVER
DID IT AGAIN, MIA.
339
00:13:40,170 --> 00:13:41,400
NEVER SAY "NEVER,"
HANKIE.
340
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,540
OKAY. I PROMISE
I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
341
00:13:43,570 --> 00:13:45,940
YOU'VE ALREADY DONE IT AGAIN
LIKE THREE TIMES!
342
00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:47,380
[ LAUGHS ]
FAR MORE THAN THAT.
343
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,480
OW.
344
00:13:48,510 --> 00:13:50,610
DO YOU WANT KAREN TO FIND OUT
ABOUT THIS, YOUNG LADY?
345
00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:51,710
I DON'T KNOW, HANK.
346
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:54,020
DO YO WANT KAREN
TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS?
347
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:57,950
BECAUSE FINDING OUT ABOUT THIS
COULD MEAN FINDING OUT ABOUT US,
348
00:13:57,990 --> 00:14:01,120
WHICH COULD VERY WELL MEAN
THE DEATH OF HOPE, HANK.
349
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:11,030
[ VELCRO RIPPING ]
350
00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:24,650
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
351
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:28,250
KURT FUCKING COBAIN...
352
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,490
PLAYED THAT.
353
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,350
COURTNEY GAVE IT TO ME.
354
00:14:31,390 --> 00:14:34,490
I HELPED HER PRODUCE A DEMO,
WRITE SOME SONGS.
355
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:35,760
IT'S YOURS.
356
00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:39,100
YOU'RE GIVING ME KURT COBAIN'S
GUITAR BECAUSE YOU FUCKED MIA?
357
00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:43,270
NO. I'M GIVING YOU
KURT COBAIN'S GUITAR BECAUSE...
358
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,400
YOU'RE MY ONLY FRIEND,
AND I, UH...
359
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:47,400
LET YOU DOWN.
360
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,440
TAKE...CARE OF IT.
361
00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:52,540
I MEAN, YOU -- YOU CAN
PUT BECCA THROUGH COLLEGE
362
00:14:52,580 --> 00:14:54,280
WITH THAT FUCKING THING.
363
00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:58,450
OKAY.
364
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,320
YOU HUNGRY?
365
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:03,050
YOU LIKE CREPES?
366
00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:05,120
I GOT A NEW PAN
I WANT TO TRY OUT.
367
00:15:05,150 --> 00:15:08,520
THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO --
I'M GONNA MAKE US SOME CREPES.
368
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,700
BECCA, IT'S NOT
HALF AS CRAZY AS IT SOUNDS.
369
00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:16,000
Becca: FUCK YOU!
370
00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:18,270
OKAY. BUT I THINK
THAT YOUR LANGUAGE
371
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,370
IS PERHAPS
A TAD INAPPROPRIATE.
372
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,970
OH, IT'S FUCKING APPROPRIATE,
ALL RIGHT.
373
00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:25,070
KAREN, WILL YOU -- WILL YOU
CUT ME SOME SLACK HERE?
374
00:15:25,110 --> 00:15:26,510
DO YOU SEE ME FRONTING
IN ANY WAY?
375
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:28,440
I'VE ADMITTED
THAT I'M WRONG, YOU KNOW.
376
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,210
STILL, I DON'T THINK THAT
THAT --
377
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,220
YOU DON'T TALK
TO YOUR OLD MAN THAT WAY.
378
00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:35,520
OH, WELL, YOU DO IF HE FUCKED
YOUR BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER.
379
00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:36,450
I DIDN'T KNOW, OKAY?
380
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:38,750
AND I DON'T LIKE
ALL THIS "BOYFRIEND" TALK.
381
00:15:38,790 --> 00:15:40,620
WELL, OF COURSE
YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
382
00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:43,360
HOW COULD YOU EVER BE EXPECTED
TO KNOW SUCH A THING?
383
00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:45,090
YES.
YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
384
00:15:45,130 --> 00:15:48,160
YOU KNOW, IF YOU LOOK AT
THIS THING IN A CERTAIN LIGHT,
385
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:52,500
THE WHOLE MESS CAN BE VIEWED
AS ALMOST ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT.
386
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:54,340
HMM.
387
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,570
COME ON.
388
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,640
WELL, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT
THE BOY UNTIL THE DINNER PARTY.
389
00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:01,140
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
WHO HIS MOTHER WAS?
390
00:16:01,180 --> 00:16:03,280
OH, WELL, IF YOU WERE NOT
SO PREOCCUPIED
391
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:06,150
WITH STICKING YOUR DICK
IN ANY HOLE THAT WILL HAVE YOU,
392
00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:07,750
YOU MIGHT NOTICE
THESE THINGS.
393
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:10,520
YES, BUT YOU KICKED MY DICK
OUT OF THE HOUSE.
394
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:12,160
YOU MADE MY DICK HOMELESS.
395
00:16:12,190 --> 00:16:13,490
AND OUT OF DOORS
IS A PLACE
396
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,360
WHERE PENISES
DON'T GENERALLY FARE WELL
397
00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:17,530
IN THE RAIN AND THE WIND
AND ALL THAT.
398
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,400
HANK, SHUT UP, OKAY?
399
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:21,630
MY HOMELESS DICK
NOW MUST SEEK SHELTER
400
00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:24,130
FROM THE STORM
WHERE AND WHENCE IT CAN.
401
00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:27,670
DID SHE SAY TO YOU, "OH, HANK,
I LOVE YOUR WRITING"?
402
00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:29,640
YOU SEE THAT? THIS IS WHY
WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER.
403
00:16:29,670 --> 00:16:31,310
YOU JUST KNOW MY SHIT.
IT'S PERFECT.
404
00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:33,310
IT'S WHY
WE SHOULDN'T BE TOGETHER.
405
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,410
SHE NEEDED A GOOD CRY.
SHE WAS LONELY.
406
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,380
WHAT'S THE HARM?
407
00:16:36,410 --> 00:16:37,310
THE HARM?
408
00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:40,250
OH, WELL, THE HARM
IS RIGHT THERE, OKAY?
409
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,550
THAT IS THE HARM --
BIG HARM.
410
00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:45,720
AND THE WORST PART IS
SHE WAS DEFENDING YOU.
411
00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,590
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
412
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:49,360
WELL, HE DIDN'T
BREAK IT OFF WITH HER.
413
00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:51,130
HE -- HE JUST SAID
THAT YOU WERE A DICK
414
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,430
FOR SLEEPING
WITH HIS MOTHER.
415
00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:53,700
THAT'S LEGITIMATE.
416
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:56,270
BUT THAT DID NOT
SIT WELL WITH HER
417
00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:59,600
BECAUSE NO ONE TALKS SHIT
ABOUT HER BELOVED FATHER.
418
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,770
SO SHE BROKE IT OFF
WITH HIM.
419
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,610
[ GROANS ]
420
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:05,640
FUCK.
421
00:17:05,670 --> 00:17:07,710
[ DOOR OPENS ]
422
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:17,320
DON'T YOU DARE
TOUCH ME.
423
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,390
KURT COBAIN
PLAYED THIS GUITAR.
424
00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:24,530
IF YOU TREAT IT RIGHT,
425
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,730
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORK
ANOTHER DAY IN YOUR LIFE.
426
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,600
YOU CAN'T BUY YOUR WAY
OUT OF THIS ONE.
427
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:34,270
DAMIEN WAS RIGHT --
YOU ARE A DICK.
428
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,140
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
429
00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:39,140
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
430
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:43,380
[ GROANS ]
431
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:45,750
HEY, MRS. PATTERSON.
IS, UH, DAMIEN HOME?
432
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:48,550
HE'S, UM -- HE'S NOT HERE.
HE'S AT BAND PRACTICE.
433
00:17:48,580 --> 00:17:49,620
DO YOU WANT TO COME IN?
434
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:53,120
I-I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD BE
SUCH A GREAT IDEA.
435
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,160
DON'T LET HIM SCARE YOU.
HE'S A GOOD KID.
436
00:17:55,190 --> 00:17:57,130
HE'S JUST VERY PROTECTIVE
OF HIS MOTHER.
437
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,330
THAT'S A GOOD THING.
438
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,430
WELL, I MEAN,
WE CAN'T LET OUR KIDS
439
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:04,500
RUIN A PERFECTLY EXCELLENT
SEXUAL CHEMISTRY, CAN WE?
440
00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:06,540
JESUS. YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY,
441
00:18:06,570 --> 00:18:08,370
IT SOUNDS
PRETTY FUCKING REASONABLE.
442
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,670
CAN YOU -- CAN YOU WRITE THAT
DOWN FOR ME FOR LATER
443
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,310
IN CASE
I NEED TO USE IT?
444
00:18:12,340 --> 00:18:14,740
OLD MAN, I WILL GO
FUCKING MEDIEVAL ON YOUR ASS!
445
00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:16,480
HEY, SETTLE DOWN,
TOWNSHEND.
446
00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:18,450
I CAME HERE TO TALK TO YOU,
MANO A MANO.
447
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,420
Mrs. Patterson:
HEY, DAMIEN!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
COME ON.
448
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:23,750
SETTLE DOWN, BUDDY.
WHAT IS IT?
449
00:18:23,790 --> 00:18:25,520
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
450
00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:26,920
LET'S FIGURE THIS OUT.
COME ON.
451
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,860
[ GRUNTS ]
452
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,860
OKAY. HERE WE GO.
453
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:33,200
COME ON, MAN.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
454
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,400
N-NOTHING.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.
455
00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:38,530
YOU'RE DEAD TO ME,
AND BECCA'S TOTALLY DEAD TO ME.
456
00:18:38,570 --> 00:18:40,270
WELL, THAT'S A SHAME.
457
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,540
THAT'S A CRYING SHAME
458
00:18:41,570 --> 00:18:44,810
BECAUSE SHE APPEARS TO BE
VERY FOND OF YOU.
459
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,880
REALLY?
MM-HMM.
460
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,680
WHAT'D SHE SAY?
461
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:52,680
NOTHING THAT I COULD EVER
REPEAT WITHOUT VOMITING.
462
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,950
NOW, COME ON.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
463
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:56,690
LET'S FIGURE THIS OUT.
464
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,320
OKAY. FIRST OF ALL,
REPEAT AFTER ME.
465
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,820
OKAY.
466
00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:04,260
I WILL NEVER...
467
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:05,530
"I WILL NEVER..."
468
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,500
...EVER...
"...EVER..."
469
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:09,830
...EVER...
470
00:19:09,870 --> 00:19:12,400
"...EVER..."
471
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,440
...FUCK MY MOM AGAIN.
472
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:15,870
"...FUCK MY MOM AGAIN."
473
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:17,770
...FUCK YOUR MOM
AGAIN.
474
00:19:17,810 --> 00:19:20,480
BOYS, WE DON'T HAVE TO BE
SO QUICK TO...
475
00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:22,510
FINE.
WHATEVER YOU WANT.
476
00:19:23,810 --> 00:19:25,580
OKAY?
477
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:28,520
WE GOOD?
ANYTHING ELSE?
478
00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:31,250
WHAT'S UP
WITH THE GUITAR?
479
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:35,420
LADIES, I AM HOME!
480
00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:37,660
WELL, IF IT ISN'T
MR. BIG FUCKING HOLLYWOOD AGENT.
481
00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:40,300
STEAL ANY FUCKING CLIENTS
ON THE WAY HERE,
482
00:19:40,330 --> 00:19:41,560
YOU BALD MOTHERFUCKER?!
483
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,300
IS EVERYBODY OKAY HERE?
484
00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:46,000
YEAH. I THINK IT'S CALLED
A "PIMP GO GET."
485
00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:49,000
Charlie:
YOU COME TO MY HOUSE,
486
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,240
YOU PUSH AROUND
A COUPLE OF GIRLS.
487
00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:54,410
YOU COULD HAVE CALLED, TEXTED,
WE WORK THIS OUT OURSELVES.
488
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,350
YOU POACHED MY GIRL.
489
00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:58,250
THAT SKANK --
SHE BELONGS TO ME.
490
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,950
SWEETHEART,
PUT THOSE FINGERS AWAY.
491
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,650
WHO KNOWS
WHERE THEY'VE BEEN?
492
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,350
OH, WAIT A SECOND.
I FUCKING DO.
493
00:20:03,390 --> 00:20:04,550
THEY'VE BEEN IN MY ASS.
494
00:20:04,590 --> 00:20:07,590
OH,
THAT WAS ONE TIME.
YEAH. ONE GOOD TIME.
495
00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:10,690
HEY, JERK-OFF, YOU KNOW
WHAT A FUCKING CONTRACT IS?
496
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,600
THIS IS NOT
A VERY GOOD DEAL, DAISY.
497
00:20:17,630 --> 00:20:18,870
[ Sarcastically ]
YOU THINK?
498
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:21,900
BAD NEWS -- YOU'RE CONNECTED TO
GILBERT GOTTFRIED HERE FOR LIFE.
499
00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:24,940
GOOD NEWS -- THIS WILL NEVER
HOLD UP IN COURT, ASSHOLE.
500
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:27,340
MAYBE NOT, PERRY MASON,
BUT GUESS WHAT?
501
00:20:27,380 --> 00:20:29,910
A LOT OF NOT-NICE SHIT
CAN HAPPEN DURING THAT TIME.
502
00:20:29,950 --> 00:20:31,980
YOU WANT TO FUCKING
TAKE THAT CHANCE?
503
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:34,720
MOTHERLESS
CUNT BASTARD!
504
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,320
FUCK YOU.
FUCK YOU!
505
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:37,350
OW!
[ GRUNTS ]
506
00:20:37,390 --> 00:20:39,820
OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT WASN'T VERY NICE AT ALL.
507
00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:42,430
THAT'S MY SOY MILK,
AND I HAVE SERIOUS DAIRY ISSUES.
508
00:20:42,460 --> 00:20:43,160
YES, YOU DO.
509
00:20:43,190 --> 00:20:44,960
I WANT YOU
OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW.
510
00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:48,530
AND, YOU,
PLEASE PUT MY WIFE DOWN.
511
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,830
I GOT NO PROBLEM
WITH THAT.
512
00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:51,570
BUT DAISY --
SHE'S COMING WITH ME.
513
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,600
SWEETHEART, COME ON, HONEY.
WE'VE GOT A PAST.
514
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,000
YOU KNOW THAT WHOLE SPECULUM
SERIES WE WANTED TO DO?
515
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,540
I THINK
THE TIME IS RIGHT.
516
00:20:57,570 --> 00:20:59,440
COME ON, HONEY.
LET'S MAKE SOME PORN!
517
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,340
HOW MUCH YOU WANT
FOR HER?
518
00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:03,380
SHE'S NOT A FUCKING SLAVE,
CHARLIE!
519
00:21:03,410 --> 00:21:06,320
YOU KNOW WHAT, PAL?!
I BELIEVE IN THIS GIRL!
520
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:09,320
YEAH. SHE IS GONNA BE
A HUGE STAR ONE DAY.
521
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,590
"VAGINATOWN"
IS JUST THE BEGINNING.
522
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:13,720
THERE WILL BE MUCH RUING
OF THIS DAY.
523
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,690
RUING, RIGHT. BIG FUCKING STAR.
JENNA FUCKING JAMESON.
524
00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:18,590
WAIT A SECOND.
THERE'S FUCKING CHINESE! BIG!
525
00:21:18,630 --> 00:21:20,660
OKAY, LOOK.
IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY.
526
00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:21,760
EVERYTHING'S COOL.
527
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,700
I'M GONNA GIVE HIM SOME MONEY
FROM THE EMERGENCY FUND.
528
00:21:24,730 --> 00:21:26,870
OH, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. BABY.
529
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:28,800
Charlie: BABY,
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF --
530
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:29,870
SHE'S FAMILY, OKAY?
531
00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:32,070
AND THAT'S WHAT
THE MONEY'S FOR -- EMERGENCIES.
532
00:21:32,110 --> 00:21:34,840
I CAN'T
LET YOU DO THIS.
WHAT'S
THE ALTERNATIVE, HUH?
533
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,410
YOU GO BACK WITH THIS GUY,
THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
534
00:21:37,450 --> 00:21:40,380
YOU'RE STARRING IN YOUR OWN LINE
OF GYNECOLOGICAL TRAINING FILMS.
535
00:21:40,420 --> 00:21:41,580
NOT ON MY WATCH.
536
00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:42,820
OKAY. BABY. BABY!
537
00:21:42,850 --> 00:21:44,850
MAYBE YOU COULD JUST
WRITE HIM A CHECK.
538
00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:47,490
I WILL GIVE HIM
WH--
539
00:21:50,590 --> 00:21:52,130
ALL OF IT?
540
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,430
YOU SPENT ALL OF IT?
541
00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:59,400
THAT WAS MY MAD MONEY,
BABY.
542
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,640
PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS
WITH YOU, CAPTAIN JACKASS!
543
00:22:12,010 --> 00:22:13,750
I LOVE THAT CAR.
544
00:22:16,620 --> 00:22:18,620
[ SNIFFLES ]
545
00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:20,920
I'M SORRY, DADDY.
[ SNIFFLES ]
546
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,660
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.
547
00:22:23,690 --> 00:22:25,990
YOU'RE GOING
TO YOUR MOTHER'S.
548
00:22:26,030 --> 00:22:29,630
BUT GOING TO MY MOTHER'S
MAKES ME WANT TO DO DRUGS!
549
00:22:29,670 --> 00:22:30,730
A LOT OF 'EM!
550
00:22:30,770 --> 00:22:32,540
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
551
00:22:32,570 --> 00:22:34,870
IT'S A GOOD PLACE
FOR YOU TO CHILL OUT.
552
00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:39,580
[ SIGHS ]
553
00:22:39,610 --> 00:22:41,110
WHATEVER YOU SAY,
DADDY.
554
00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:44,710
I'LL HELP YOU KNOCK THIS MONKEY
OFF YOUR BACK, BABY.
555
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:47,080
IF YOU LET ME.
556
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:51,490
[ SNIFFLES ]
557
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:56,490
[ CRIES ]
558
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:01,800
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
559
00:23:01,830 --> 00:23:04,600
NOWHERE.
JUST GOING FOR A WALK.
560
00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:06,170
NO ONE WALKS IN L.A.
561
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,040
WE DO.
ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL.
562
00:23:09,070 --> 00:23:10,710
WE'RE NEW YORKERS.
563
00:23:10,740 --> 00:23:14,140
THERE IS NO "ALWAYS."
THERE'S JUST RIGHT NOW.
564
00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:17,980
YOU DON'T LIKE ME VERY MUCH
RIGHT NOW, DO YOU?
565
00:23:18,010 --> 00:23:20,520
NO. I DON'T.
566
00:23:20,550 --> 00:23:23,090
YOU KNOW, I KNOW
I SAY THIS TOO MUCH --
567
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:24,720
ALL THE TIME, PROBABLY,
568
00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:26,990
BUT I WAS WRONG
TO DO WHAT I DID,
569
00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:33,000
AND I WAS WRONG TO BE SO GLIB
ABOUT TRYING TO FIX IT.
570
00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:35,600
THERE IS NO RIGHT
OR WRONG, DAD,
571
00:23:35,630 --> 00:23:38,470
JUST THE CONSEQUENCES
OF YOUR ACTIONS.
572
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,740
YOU TAUGHT ME THAT.
573
00:23:40,770 --> 00:23:42,140
I GUESS I DON'T LIKE
574
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:44,840
THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS
VERY MUCH RIGHT NOW.
575
00:23:44,870 --> 00:23:47,180
YEAH. ME NEITHER.
576
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:51,250
SO, UH...
577
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:55,550
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU LIKE SO MUCH
ABOUT THIS BOY?
578
00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:56,820
I DON'T KNOW.
579
00:23:56,850 --> 00:23:59,090
COME ON.
IT'S GOT TO BE SOMETHING.
580
00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:00,860
USE YOUR WORDS.
581
00:24:00,890 --> 00:24:02,830
HE'S REALLY SMART.
582
00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:05,590
OH.
LET'S NOT GO CRAZY.
583
00:24:05,630 --> 00:24:07,500
AND HE MAKES ME
FEEL PRETTY.
584
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:08,760
WELL, THAT YOU ARE.
585
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,000
YOU'RE VERY PRETTY.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
586
00:24:11,030 --> 00:24:12,870
SHUT UP.
I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL.
587
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:13,870
DON'T SAY THAT.
588
00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:15,740
LOOK.
DON'T EVER SAY THAT.
589
00:24:15,770 --> 00:24:16,840
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
590
00:24:16,870 --> 00:24:19,940
YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING
IN THE WORLD TO ME.
591
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:21,740
THEN TREAT ME THAT WAY.
592
00:24:21,780 --> 00:24:24,610
[ Voice breaking ] I'M ALWAYS
ON YOUR SIDE, DAD, ALWAYS.
593
00:24:24,650 --> 00:24:27,280
EVEN WHEN I SHOULDN'T BE.
BUT I'M SICK OF IT.
594
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,920
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
595
00:24:29,950 --> 00:24:31,290
I DON'T CARE
IF YOU AND MOM
596
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,790
NEVER SAY ANOTHER KIND WORD
TO EACH OTHER,
597
00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:36,190
BUT I'M SICK AND TIRED
OF PARENTING YOU BOTH.
598
00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:37,130
I'M A FUCKING KID!
599
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,730
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING
HALF THE TIME.
600
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,000
BUT I DO KNOW THIS --
601
00:24:42,030 --> 00:24:44,970
IF YOU KEEP CRACKING JOKES
AND TAKING ANOTHER DRINK
602
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,870
AND PRETENDING THAT LIFE
IS ONE BIG, STUPID PARTY,
603
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:50,670
YOU WILL MISS EVERYTHING.
604
00:24:56,140 --> 00:24:57,780
Damien: BECCA!
605
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,990
YOU HAVE FUN, OKAY?
606
00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:12,600
NOT TOO MUCH FUN.
607
00:25:12,630 --> 00:25:13,660
[ LAUGHS ]
608
00:25:15,830 --> 00:25:17,570
[ EXHALES HEAVILY ]
609
00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:25,340
HEY, DAMIEN.
610
00:25:25,370 --> 00:25:28,240
YOU THINK I MIGHT TAKE YOU DOWN
TO THE GUITAR CENTER
611
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,150
AND GET YOU SOMETHING COOLER
THAN THAT ONE? THAT'S...
612
00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:33,150
NO, MAN.
THIS GUITAR IS AWESOME.
613
00:25:33,180 --> 00:25:34,150
IT'S LIKE...
614
00:25:34,180 --> 00:25:36,790
IT'S LIKE SOMETHING
COBAIN WOULD HAVE PLAYED.
615
00:25:36,820 --> 00:25:38,550
AWESOME.
616
00:25:42,190 --> 00:25:43,930
HAVE FUN, HONEY.
617
00:25:46,830 --> 00:25:49,100
MAY I HAVE ANOTHER,
PLEASE?
618
00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:51,330
[ English accent ]
I DON'T THINK SO.
619
00:25:51,370 --> 00:25:53,040
REALLY?
AM I THAT SLOSHED?
620
00:25:53,070 --> 00:25:55,940
NO. BUT IF I'M GONNA
TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME,
621
00:25:55,970 --> 00:25:58,340
I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE
AT...HALF-MAST.
622
00:25:58,370 --> 00:25:59,340
OW.
623
00:25:59,370 --> 00:26:00,710
[ LAUGHS ]
624
00:26:00,740 --> 00:26:02,280
I'M SO FLATTERED.
625
00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:05,280
I JUST DON'T THINK I'D
BE VERY GOOD COMPANY
FOR ANYBODY TONIGHT.
626
00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:07,920
WHY NOT?
I'VE HEARD GOOD THINGS.
627
00:26:07,950 --> 00:26:09,720
NO,
I AM VERY AGREEABLE.
628
00:26:09,750 --> 00:26:12,660
AND YOU ARE NOTHING
IF NOT A BEAUTIFUL BARMAID.
629
00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:15,360
I'VE JUST GOT A LITTLE TOO MUCH
OF MY DAUGHTER'S VOICE
630
00:26:15,390 --> 00:26:17,360
RUNNING AROUND
IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW
631
00:26:17,390 --> 00:26:19,190
TO BE GOOD COMPANY
FOR ANYBODY.
632
00:26:19,230 --> 00:26:22,160
THAT'S NOT AS CREEPY
AS IT SOUNDS, EITHER.
633
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,200
HONESTLY.
634
00:26:24,230 --> 00:26:26,030
SO, UH, TONIGHT,
635
00:26:26,070 --> 00:26:29,910
I THINK YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO SETTLE FOR...
636
00:26:29,940 --> 00:26:32,780
THE TIP!
JUST THE TIP!
637
00:26:32,810 --> 00:26:35,310
GET IT? GOT IT?
GOOD.
638
00:26:35,340 --> 00:26:37,810
GOOD NIGHT, HANK.
639
00:26:37,850 --> 00:26:40,120
GOOD NIGHT,
BEAUTIFUL BARMAID.
640
00:26:42,180 --> 00:26:45,750
[ EXHALES HEAVILY ]
AM I TOO LATE?
641
00:26:45,790 --> 00:26:48,760
DID YOU ALREADY
WET YOURSELF?
642
00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:50,160
SO,
WHAT ARE WE DRINKING?
643
00:26:53,830 --> 00:26:56,800
-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com
644
00:26:56,830 --> 00:26:59,800
CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY
SHOWTIME NETWORKS
645
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,870
AND BLIND DECKER PRODUCTIONS
46468
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