All language subtitles for Californication S01E10 The Devil s Threesome

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:11,060 PREVIOUSLY ON "CALIFORNICATION"... 2 00:00:12,030 --> 00:00:14,700 I DON'T THINK YOU HEARD ME. I WROTE SOMETHING. 3 00:00:14,730 --> 00:00:15,800 HANK WROTE A NEW BOOK? 4 00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:18,170 CAN I READ IT? I DON'T THINK THAT'S APPROPRIATE. 5 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,770 Hank: I GAVE IT TO KAREN. SHE READS ALL MY STUFF FIRST. 6 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,140 IS THERE A COPY? THAT'S THE ONLY ONE. 7 00:00:23,170 --> 00:00:25,080 I CAN'T READ IT, HANK. WHY NOT? 8 00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:26,040 I CAN'T GO BACK. 9 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,780 I WANT TO GO RIGHT BACK WHERE WE WERE BEFORE. 10 00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,580 I DON'T THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE. 11 00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:31,620 WHAT THE FUCK? 12 00:00:31,650 --> 00:00:33,250 I'M GETTING A BAD FEELING HERE. 13 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,490 I'M THINKING YOU INTEND TO GIVE THAT TO SOMEONE 14 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,590 WHO MIGHT ALREADY BE ENGAGED. 15 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,220 WE HAD THE SEX, KAREN. 16 00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:41,230 I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE. 17 00:00:41,260 --> 00:00:43,430 I LOVE BILL. I'M GONNA MARRY BILL. 18 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,790 GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR, MAN! 19 00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:46,560 GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR! 20 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:47,760 LET ME JUST GRAB THIS. 21 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,330 NO! GET THE FUCK OUT! 22 00:00:49,370 --> 00:00:50,870 GET OUT! 23 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,500 Man: SHUT THE FUCK UP! 24 00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:55,340 [ TIRES SCREECH ] 25 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:10,420 AAAH! KISS THE TIP! 26 00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:14,120 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 27 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,190 [ RHYTHMIC POUNDING IN DISTANCE ] 28 00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:18,500 [ SNIFFS ] 29 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,740 WHAT UP, BUTTERBEAN? 30 00:01:28,770 --> 00:01:31,240 HEY-HEY, ROOMIE. TOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA. 31 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,810 HOW 'BOUT THIS BEAUTIFUL 32 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,580 FUCKING WEATHER WE'RE HAVING HERE, HUH? 33 00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:36,580 YEAH, IT LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER SUNNY DAY IN HELL. 34 00:01:36,610 --> 00:01:38,920 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? 35 00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:40,450 NOW THAT I'M GONNA BE OUT THERE 36 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,190 COMPETING FOR ALL THIS HIGH-END PUSSY, 37 00:01:42,220 --> 00:01:44,650 I GOTTA TRY TO GET THIS BODY IN TO SOME KIND OF FIGHTIN' SHAPE. 38 00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:46,420 THAT IS A FOOL'S ERRAND, MY FRIEND. 39 00:01:46,460 --> 00:01:48,830 HEY, HEY, HEY. DON'T BE HATIN'. 40 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,500 TAKE IT FROM SOMEBODY WHO'S BEEN THERE ON THE FRONT LINES -- 41 00:01:51,530 --> 00:01:53,700 THAT SHIT IS EMPTIER THAN A MICHAEL BAY JOINT. 42 00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:56,370 YOU'RE JUST OVER IT NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN? NO, I'M JUST SAYIN' -- 43 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:01,170 YOU KNOW, NEW PUSSY MAY HOLD THE PROMISE OF SOMETHING BETTER, 44 00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:03,710 BUT IT SURE AS SHIT AIN'T LOVE. 45 00:02:03,740 --> 00:02:06,440 GREAT. SO I SHUCK OFF THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN, 46 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,310 AND YOU GET THEE TO A NUNNERY. 47 00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:10,180 PERFECT TIMING. WHAT ABOUT THE MARCE? 48 00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:12,450 I KNOW YOU MISS THE MARCE, RIGHT? 49 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,420 THAT SEXY, LITTLE SMURF WAS GOOD TO YOU. 50 00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:17,550 THE SEXY, LITTLE SMURF CHEATED ON ME WITH MY ASSISTANT. 51 00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:19,820 YES, BUT YOU CHEATED ON HER WITH YOUR ASSISTANT. 52 00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:21,660 FIRST, I MIGHT ADD. POINT BEING? 53 00:02:21,690 --> 00:02:22,930 YOUR SHIT'S FUCKED UP. 54 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,600 MY SHIT'S FUCKED UP? WHAT ABOUT YOUR SHIT? MY SHIT. 55 00:02:25,630 --> 00:02:27,330 THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING, BUT YOURS MORE. 56 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,330 GOOD, THIS IS WHAT I LIKE ABOUT HAVING A ROOMMATE. 57 00:02:29,370 --> 00:02:31,300 YOU KNOW, WE GOT THE BANTER GOING. 58 00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:34,770 WE GOT THE -- THE PETIT BON MOTS. 59 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,810 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 60 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,280 WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON LATER? 61 00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:39,780 OH, I DON'T KNOW... 62 00:02:39,810 --> 00:02:42,380 I THOUGHT I'D START THE DAY WITH SOME DRY TOAST 63 00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:43,350 AND HALF A GRAPEFRUIT, 64 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,880 BUST OUT THE OLD COMPUTER, BANG OUT 10 PAGES, 65 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,220 MAYBE GO FOR A RUN. 66 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:51,360 MAYBE I'LL JUST JERK OFF AND GO BACK TO BED. 67 00:02:51,390 --> 00:02:52,820 WAKE ME UP WHEN YOU COME HOME. 68 00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:54,560 WE'LL GRAB A COCKTAIL, ALL RIGHT? 69 00:02:54,590 --> 00:02:56,290 HAVE A GOOD DAY AT WORK, HONEY. 70 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:57,660 HEY... 71 00:02:57,690 --> 00:02:59,700 I WAS THINKING, LATER, ME AND YOU -- 72 00:02:59,730 --> 00:03:01,570 WE HIT THE GYM. TONIGHT. 73 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,530 OH, JESUS, ENOUGH ALREADY. 74 00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:04,970 JUST CALL YOUR FUCKING WIFE. 75 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,300 DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO. BEG, PLEAD, CRY. 76 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:08,610 GET DOWN ON BENDED KNEE. 77 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,970 'CAUSE I'M TELLING YOU, NO AMOUNT OF TOP-SHELF PUSSY 78 00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:13,240 CAN COMPETE WITH THE LOVE OF A GOOD WOMAN. 79 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,440 TOP SHELF. 80 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:15,450 TOP SHELF, BABY. 81 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,720 JESUS. ALL RIGHT. I'LL GO TO THE GYM WITH YOU. 82 00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:20,980 BUT I'M NOT WEARING ANY DOLPHIN SHORTS OR HANGING ANY BRAIN, 83 00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,750 SO DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP TOO HIGH. 84 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,070 DON'T FORGET THAT MEETING WITH YOUR FRIEND'S DAUGHTER. 85 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,840 SHE WANTS TO BE A WRITER OR SOMETHING. NOT IN THE MOOD. 86 00:04:16,870 --> 00:04:19,410 RESCHEDULE. OKAY, NO PROBLEM. 87 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:21,950 YOU GOT A MINUTE, BOSS? 88 00:04:21,980 --> 00:04:24,880 "BOSS," HUH? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MOVING ON. 89 00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:26,820 WHEN IS YOUR TWO WEEKS' NOTICE UP, ANYWAY? 90 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,990 THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 91 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,990 THINGS HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE WEIRD. 92 00:04:32,020 --> 00:04:34,590 OH, REALLY? 93 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:37,330 THEY WEREN'T ALWAYS A LITTLE WEIRD? 94 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,100 YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. 95 00:04:39,130 --> 00:04:41,930 I WENT AFTER SOMETHING I WANTED. I STARTED IT. 96 00:04:41,970 --> 00:04:45,100 THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S R-- YOU STARTED IT. 97 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,940 AND THAT'S WHERE FREE WILL COMES IN. 98 00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:48,540 CHOICES WERE MADE, BOSS. 99 00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:51,070 I GET YOUR POINT. 100 00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:52,880 SO WHAT'S YOUR CHOICE? 101 00:04:52,910 --> 00:04:54,580 I WANT TO STAY. 102 00:04:54,610 --> 00:04:57,450 I WANT TO LEARN FROM YOU. I WANT TO BE AN AGENT. 103 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:58,450 I SEE. 104 00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,920 SO, UH, FIRST, 105 00:04:59,950 --> 00:05:02,120 YOU SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROY MY MARRIAGE, 106 00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:04,790 AND NOW YOU WANT ME TO HELP WITH YOUR CAREER. 107 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:08,860 WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF. 108 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,760 OKAY. FAIR ENOUGH. 109 00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:13,600 I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO LOOK ELSEWHERE FOR CAREER GUIDANCE. 110 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:16,700 MAYBE I'LL START WITH H.R. I BET YOU THEY'D LOVE TO HELP. 111 00:05:16,730 --> 00:05:19,500 ESPECIALLY WHEN I TOLD THEM WHAT I WENT THROUGH ON YOUR DESK. 112 00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:22,670 THE SPANKING, THE CRAWLING ON THE FLOOR, 113 00:05:22,710 --> 00:05:24,440 THE SEXUAL HUMILIATION... 114 00:05:24,470 --> 00:05:25,580 WOW. 115 00:05:25,610 --> 00:05:27,910 APPARENTLY YOU'VE GOT THE MAKINGS OF AN EXCELLENT AGENT. 116 00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:29,850 SO WHERE DO I START? 117 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:33,420 YOU START BY GOING THROUGH THAT SLUSH PILE OVER THERE. 118 00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:37,120 FIND ME SOME GREAT MATERIAL -- SOMETHING I CAN SELL. 119 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,860 HEY, YOU CAN'T SMOKE IN HERE. 120 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,600 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, KICK MY ASS? 121 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,500 HANK, RIGHT? 122 00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:55,510 YEAH. HAVE WE MET? 123 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,610 Charlie: YOU'VE GOT TO GET IN THE RING, DUDE. 124 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:58,940 THIS IS FUCKING EXHILARATING. 125 00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:01,850 NO. I THINK I'M GOOD. 126 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,680 PUSSY. 127 00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:04,950 EXCUSE ME? 128 00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:06,580 YOU HEARD ME. 129 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:07,650 I CALLED YOU A PUSSY. 130 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,120 YOU AFRAID TO GET YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU BY A WOMAN? 131 00:06:10,150 --> 00:06:12,990 NO. ACTUALLY, I THINK I'M IN TOUCH WITH THAT EMOTION. 132 00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:15,090 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER, HUH? 133 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,860 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET A DRINK WITH TWO GUYS 134 00:06:16,890 --> 00:06:18,460 WHO WILL WORK HARDER FOR YOUR AFFECTION 135 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:19,700 THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED POSSIBLE? 136 00:06:19,730 --> 00:06:21,100 HEY, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, THERE. 137 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:22,470 WELL, THAT DEPENDS. 138 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:23,330 ON WHAT? 139 00:06:23,370 --> 00:06:25,130 ON WHETHER OR NOT YOUR BUDDY OVER HERE 140 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:27,640 WANTS TO GET IN THE RING WITH ME. 141 00:06:35,180 --> 00:06:38,150 HI. I'VE GOT A MEETING WITH CHARLIE RUNKLE. 142 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,550 OH, UH, YOU MUST BE MIA. 143 00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:41,820 I'M SO SORRY. 144 00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,820 I KNOW IT'S LAST-MINUTE, BUT HE HAD TO RESCHEDULE. 145 00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:45,020 I TRIED TO CALL YOU. 146 00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:46,990 BUT MY PHONE DIED. 147 00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,660 SORRY, MY BAD. 148 00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:53,000 WELL, UM, I'M SURE CHARLIE 149 00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,560 WOULD LOVE TO RESCHEDULE 150 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,470 AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE. 151 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,000 OH. RIGHT. FINE. 152 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,870 THAT'S FINE. WHATEVER. 153 00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,910 IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH? 154 00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:05,010 ARE YOU AN AGENT? NOT YET. 155 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,180 BUT I WILL BE SOON. 156 00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:10,050 WELL, UH, I WROTE THIS NOVEL, AND I WAS JUST WONDERING 157 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,720 IF CHARLIE WOULD READ IT AND GIVE ME SOME NOTES, 158 00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:14,780 LET ME KNOW IF I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK. 159 00:07:14,820 --> 00:07:16,220 HOW OLD ARE YOU? 160 00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:17,820 16. 161 00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:20,490 AND YOU'VE WRITTEN A NOVEL. THAT'S IMPRESSIVE. 162 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,490 WHAT'S IT ABOUT? 163 00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:23,790 A 16-YEAR-OLD GIRL FUCKS A MUCH, MUCH OLDER MAN 164 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:25,130 AND FINDS HERSELF 165 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,900 BOTH SPIRITUALLY AND SEXUALLY AWAKENED. 166 00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:28,600 IT'S NABOKOV MEETS JUDY BLUME 167 00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:30,270 WITH LOTS OF FUCKING AND PUNCHING. 168 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,870 AND WHAT'S IT CALLED? 169 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,000 "FUCKING & PUNCHING." 170 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,610 WELL, I'D BE HAPPY TO READ IT. 171 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,870 YOU WOULD? 172 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:39,610 COOL. 173 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,040 I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL WHEN I'M DONE. 174 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,510 AND WE COULD, UH, MEET FOR COFFEE OR SOMETHING. 175 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,750 UM, WELL, YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ IT NOW. 176 00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:48,150 BECAUSE YOU MIGHT NOT GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO. 177 00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:49,890 IT'S UP TO YOU. 178 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,760 I'LL BE IN HERE CHECKING MY E-MAIL. 179 00:07:51,790 --> 00:07:53,490 ENJOY. 180 00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:59,300 [ BELL DINGS ] 181 00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:02,100 I'M SORRY, I JUST CAN'T PLACE YOU. 182 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,130 OH! 183 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,140 THE CIRCLE BAR... 184 00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:08,200 ABOUT A YEAR AGO. 185 00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:11,940 YOU BOUGHT ME A DRINK 186 00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:13,980 AND I SPENT THE NIGHT IN YOUR APARTMENT, 187 00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:16,850 DOING THINGS I HAVEN'T DONE WITH ANYONE SINCE. 188 00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:20,180 YOU PROMISED TO CALL. 189 00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:21,920 YOU DIDN'T. 190 00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:23,890 OKAY. THAT WAS LOW. 191 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,820 SORRY. 192 00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:26,060 OW! 193 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:29,760 OKAY, NOW I'M GONNA HAVE TO DEDUCT A POINT. 194 00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:30,860 OH! 195 00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:33,230 NOW YOU'RE STARTING TO... 196 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:35,830 ...LOOK FAMILIAR. 197 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,570 LET ME MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 198 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,800 LET ME TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER SOMETIME, 199 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,840 OR MAYBE GET A DRINK. 200 00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,740 SURE. AFTER I BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU. 201 00:08:45,780 --> 00:08:48,750 OKAY, NOW I'M THINKING I SHOULD WEAR A CUP TO DINNER. 202 00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:52,780 [ BELL DINGS ] 203 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,650 [ GROANS ] 204 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:02,260 YOU REALLY SHOULD'VE CALLED HER. SHE SEEMED ANGRY. 205 00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:03,990 YOU THINK? 206 00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:05,760 UH, ANOTHER VODKA-CRANBERRY. 207 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,300 FAG. 208 00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:09,670 I CAN'T DRINK LIKE YOU, OKAY? 209 00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:11,940 I NEED SOMETHING A LITTLE SWEET TO HELP THE MEDICINE GO DOWN. 210 00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:14,070 FAGGOTY FAG FAG FAG. 211 00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:17,810 [ CHUCKLES ] THIS IS COOL, US HANGING OUT HERE, RIGHT? 212 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,310 JUST LIKE, UH, LIKE RAOUL DUKE AND DR. GONZO, RIGHT? 213 00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:22,950 WE HAVEN'T DONE THIS SINCE THE SALAD DAYS. 214 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,180 YEAH, LIKE WHEN YOU USED TO USE ME TO GET LAID. 215 00:09:25,210 --> 00:09:27,250 LIKE WHEN YOU USED TO USE ME TO GET PUBLISHED. 216 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,350 THAT WORKED, DIDN'T IT? 217 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,120 FOR YOU, MAYBE. NOT SO MUCH FOR ME. 218 00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,320 IT WORKED FOR ME. 219 00:09:31,350 --> 00:09:32,760 AND I NEVER REALLY GOT TO, UH, 220 00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:34,390 SOW THE WILD OATS THE WAY I WOULD'VE LIKED. 221 00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:36,630 YOU KNOW, I WAS ALWAYS TOO BUSY WORKING. 222 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,630 HMM. AND NOW YOU'RE HAUNTED BY IT, HUH? 223 00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,330 IT'S A PRETTY DRINK. 224 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,230 YOU KNOW, MOST PEOPLE, THEY GO THEIR WHOLE LIFE, 225 00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,030 AND THEY NEVER REALLY FIND SOMEONE THEY LOVE. 226 00:09:45,070 --> 00:09:47,270 THEY SAY THEY DO BECAUSE EVERYBODY'S THE STAR 227 00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,170 OF THEIR OWN LITTLE ROMANTIC COMEDY, 228 00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:50,270 BUT THEY'RE FULL OF SHIT. 229 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:53,310 YOU AND ME, WE HAD WOMEN THAT LOVED US FOR WHO WE WERE, 230 00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:56,150 REALLY LOVED US FOR WHO WE WERE, AND WE FUCKED IT UP. 231 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:57,310 FOR WHAT? 232 00:09:57,350 --> 00:10:00,820 SOME STUPID PIECE OF ASS WE FORGOT ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER? 233 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,150 WOW, YOU'RE FUN TONIGHT. 234 00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:04,120 JUST DON'T WORRY SO MUCH, ALL RIGHT? 235 00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:06,060 EVERYTHING'S GONNA WORK ITSELF OUT. 236 00:10:06,090 --> 00:10:08,290 IT'S A PHASE WE'RE GOING THROUGH, THAT'S ALL. 237 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,160 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] 238 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:14,830 HELLO? 239 00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:17,000 H-E-EY. 240 00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:19,770 Y-YEAH. THAT'S FANTASTIC. 241 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,440 OKAY. SEE YOU THERE. 242 00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:23,410 THAT WAS LAURA. 243 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,210 FROM THE GYM. OH, SHIT. I JUST PEED MYSELF. 244 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,080 TAP, TAP, TAP ON THE SHOULDER. 245 00:10:28,110 --> 00:10:30,180 SHE WANTS TO MEET US AT YOUR PLACE. 246 00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,950 DING, DING, DING. ROUND TWO. 247 00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:34,450 NO, I QUIT. NO MáS. NO MáS. 248 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,420 ARE YOU FINISHED YET? 249 00:10:36,450 --> 00:10:37,450 HOLD ON. 250 00:10:37,490 --> 00:10:38,790 UGH. IT'S JUST A NOVELLA. 251 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:41,890 ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO MOVE THEIR LIPS WHEN THEY READ? 252 00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:43,660 'CAUSE THAT CAN REALLY SLOW YOU DOWN. 253 00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:46,730 SO...? 254 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,300 ARE YOU REALLY 16? 255 00:10:48,330 --> 00:10:49,970 I'M REALLY 16. 256 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,170 WHO ARE YOUR INFLUENCES? 257 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,770 I DON'T KNOW... UH... 258 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,370 CHUCK PALAHNIUK... 259 00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:57,910 NICK CAVE... 260 00:10:57,940 --> 00:11:00,010 ANYTHING HANK MOODY... 261 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,380 THIS IS REALLY GOOD. 262 00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:05,280 DON'T BLOW SMOKE UP MY SNATCH. I'M NOT. 263 00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:07,380 YOU REALLY THINK I'VE GOT SOMETHING HERE? 264 00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:08,790 I REALLY DO, YEAH. 265 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:09,820 COOL. 266 00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:12,790 THANKS FOR READING. 267 00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:15,060 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 268 00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:17,160 YOU JUST CONFIRMED FOR ME WHAT I ALREADY KNEW. 269 00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:18,930 WHY WASTE IT ON A TIRED, OLD WARHORSE 270 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,860 WHO CANCELS MEETINGS AT THE LAST SECOND? 271 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,930 I CAN HELP YOU. 272 00:11:22,970 --> 00:11:24,830 GIVE ME A BREAK. YOU'RE JUST AN ASSISTANT. 273 00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:26,940 FOR NOW, BUT NOT FOR LONG. 274 00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:29,240 WOULD YOU RATHER BE WITH SOMEONE WHO'S ON THEIR WAY UP 275 00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,810 OR ON THEIR WAY OUT? 276 00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:38,450 HEY. 277 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,280 OH, NO. LOOK AT THIS. 278 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,220 THIS IS AWKWARD. 279 00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:44,720 FOR YOU, MAYBE. 280 00:11:45,450 --> 00:11:47,760 WHAT, NO KISS? I'M THROUGH WITH THAT. 281 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,290 YOU WANT ME, YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. 282 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:52,760 YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, LITTLE LADY, 283 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,230 HAVE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY LITTLE SMURF. 284 00:11:55,260 --> 00:11:57,300 BI-CURIOUS, ARE WE? 285 00:11:57,330 --> 00:12:00,540 HEY, HE STARTED IT. SPANKING HIS ASSISTANT. 286 00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:02,370 SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE? 287 00:12:03,910 --> 00:12:05,810 KICKED IN THE ASS BY KARMA. 288 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,080 I'M NOT A LESBIAN, BY THE WAY. 289 00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:09,480 SAYS THE GIRL WITH HER FINGER IN THE DYKE. 290 00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:10,950 OOH, NICE. 291 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,220 BBRROOP!BBRROOP! 292 00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:14,350 WITTY. CLEVER. THANK YOU. 293 00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,220 WE'RE ON A SERIOUS BREAK HERE, CHARLIE. 294 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,320 YOU COULD DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. 295 00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:20,520 GET ALL THE STANK ON YOUR HANG-LOW YOU COULD GET. 296 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:21,360 GO FOR BROKE. 297 00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:23,260 DON'T THINK I WON'T DO IT, EITHER. 298 00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:25,190 WITH THIS GUY AS MY WINGMAN, I CAN'T FAIL. 299 00:12:25,230 --> 00:12:26,460 [ SCOFFS ] SURE YOU CAN. 300 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:29,530 NO, NO, NO. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE YOUR INABILITY TO ATTRACT WOMEN. 301 00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:33,040 BBRROOP! JUST KEEPING IT REAL. 302 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,570 [ SCOFFS ] I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, 303 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,470 BUT I'M GETTING TIRED OF THESE VAGINA HATERS. 304 00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:40,340 I ENJOY THE VAGINA. ALMOST AS MUCH AS YOU. 305 00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:42,910 ONCE UPON A TIME, WE WOULD'VE ALL GONE IN HERE TOGETHER. 306 00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:44,880 ALL OF US. TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. 307 00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,280 STEP ASIDE, ASSWIPES. 308 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,950 WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO US? 309 00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:49,490 GOOD TIMES. 310 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,490 OKAY, I HAVE TO ASK. 311 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,360 WHY DOES SHE PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE JUST AS HE'S ABOUT TO CUM? 312 00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:57,290 YOU TELL ME. 313 00:12:57,330 --> 00:13:00,260 I THINK MAYBE SHE WANTS TO WAKE HIM UP. 314 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:02,870 OR MAYBE SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE SURE HE REMEMBERS HER. 315 00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,970 OR MAYBE IT'S JUST REALLY HOT. 316 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,840 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO "JUST PLAIN HOT"? HMM? 317 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,940 WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS MAKE OF THIS? 318 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:14,610 UH, WELL, MY DAD DOESN'T PAY MUCH ATTENTION. 319 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:19,120 I MEAN, HE MEANS WELL, YOU KNOW, HE JUST WORKS...A LOT. 320 00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:20,550 AND MY MOM... 321 00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:22,350 SHE'S GONE. 322 00:13:22,390 --> 00:13:26,960 SHE GOT SICK A FEW YEARS BACK AND...DIED. 323 00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:30,090 LET ME HELP YOU WITH THIS. 324 00:13:30,130 --> 00:13:31,360 WHY? 325 00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,260 BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOUR WRITING. 326 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:37,470 THIS THING IS GONNA BE HUGE. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE HEADLINES? 327 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,940 "16-YEAR-OLD GIRL WRITES SMARTEST, 328 00:13:39,970 --> 00:13:41,940 SEXIEST BOOK SINCE 'LOLITA.'" 329 00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:44,310 IT'LL BE MADE INTO A MOVIE. 330 00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:47,080 MAYBE HANK MOODY COULD WRITE THE SCREENPLAY? 331 00:13:47,110 --> 00:13:48,610 YEAH. 332 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,210 I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE POOR GUY. 333 00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,920 I MEAN, HE WAS SUCH A GREAT WRITER. 334 00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:04,130 LET ME LET YOU IN ON A LITTLE SECRET, YOUNG LADY -- 335 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,100 YOU ARE MUCH MORE TALENTED THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE. 336 00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:08,300 YOU WANT TO BE AN ACTRESS? 337 00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:10,200 I COULD HAVE YOU WORKING IN NO TIME. 338 00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:12,100 REALLY? SO YOU'D TAKE ME ON? 339 00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:13,140 IN A HEARTBEAT. 340 00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:15,640 YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE SMART, YOU'RE FUNNY, 341 00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:17,970 AND YOU CAN KICK A MAN'S ASS NO PROBLEM. 342 00:14:18,010 --> 00:14:18,980 GOT THAT RIGHT. 343 00:14:19,010 --> 00:14:20,240 OH, NOT IN THE FACE! 344 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,910 OH...SHIT. 345 00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:24,550 OKAY, THAT'S IT FOR ME. GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK. 346 00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:27,080 WAIT. NOT SO FAST. 347 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,480 WHAT ABOUT MY GOODNIGHT KISS? 348 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,350 GOOD NIGHT. 349 00:14:30,390 --> 00:14:31,920 OH. 350 00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:35,520 BE CAREFUL. AH. 351 00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:38,960 OUCH. 352 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,130 OW. 353 00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:45,200 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 354 00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:47,070 OW. 355 00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,340 REMEMBER ME NOW? 356 00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:50,340 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. 357 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:52,980 I JUST DON'T THINK THE PUNISHMENT FITS THE CRIME. 358 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:55,280 I'M SORRY THAT I DON'T REMEMBER YOU, 359 00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:58,210 AND I'M -- I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T CALL YOU BACK. 360 00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:01,120 I-I JUST THINK THAT I HAD A VERY GOOD REASON. 361 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,520 BUT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER IT? 362 00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:05,520 I'M GONNA GO TO BED NOW. YOU HAVE FUN. 363 00:15:05,550 --> 00:15:07,460 YOU TWO HAVE FUN. 364 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,620 THERE YOU GO. [ GROANS ] 365 00:15:08,660 --> 00:15:11,130 NOW, I WANT YOU GUYS TO BE SAFE, 366 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,030 BE RESPONSIBLE, 367 00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:15,230 USE REDUNDANT FORMS OF BIRTH CONTROL, 368 00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:17,100 BUT MAINLY, JUST KEEP IT DOWN, 369 00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:18,970 BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE BACK THERE 370 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,640 TRYING TO PISS BLOOD IN PEACE. 371 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,410 CARRY ON, MY WAYWARD SONS. 372 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,370 [ SIGHS DEEPLY ] 373 00:15:25,410 --> 00:15:28,110 DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET A GIRL OFF? 374 00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:30,110 IT IS LIKE DISCONNECTING A BOMB. 375 00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:33,120 I MEAN, THERE'S ALL THESE WIRES AND SHIT DOWN THERE. 376 00:15:33,150 --> 00:15:35,680 WHO KNOWS WHICH ONE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CROSS OR PULL. 377 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,390 PLUS, THE STUDIES SHOW 378 00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:41,660 THAT THE FEMALE ORGASM IS, LIKE, WHAT, 99% MENTAL. 379 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,660 WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?! 380 00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:44,760 OKAY, SO THAT'S GOOD. 381 00:15:44,790 --> 00:15:47,660 SO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THE FOUR-MINUTE GRUNT-FEST? 382 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,370 THINGS LIKE IN, OUT, DONE. 383 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,770 YEAH. GIVE ME A MOUTHFUL OF COCK ANY DAY. 384 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,200 RIGHT. MM-HMM. 385 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:57,270 SUCK, GARGLE, SPIT -- WORKS LIKE A CHARM. 386 00:15:57,310 --> 00:16:00,140 I MEAN, CALL ME OLD-FASHIONED, BUT -- 387 00:16:00,180 --> 00:16:05,110 SO, YOU'RE DONE WITH THE, UM, THE LESBITARIAN EXPERIMENT. 388 00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:07,180 THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER, YOU KNOW? 389 00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:10,390 ISN'T THAT HOW YOU ENDED UP ENGAGED TO BE BURIED? 390 00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:13,490 HEY, NO BILL-BASHING. YOU PROMISED ME. 391 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,190 STAY ON THE SUBJECT. 392 00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:16,690 THAT IS THE SUBJECT. 393 00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:18,690 MARRIED PEOPLE, BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS, 394 00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:20,530 LOOKING FOR SOME STRANGE. 395 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,100 IT NEVER SOLVES WHAT WAS WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE. 396 00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:25,470 OH, LIKE YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING EXPERT. 397 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:26,740 I'M GONNA TELL YOU ONE THING -- 398 00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:29,470 THAT LYING, CHEATING LITTLE COCKSUCKER 399 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,770 IS NOT MOVING BACK INTO MY HOUSE 400 00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:35,280 UNTIL I SEE SOME REAL FUCKING REMORSE-ITUDE, OKAY? 401 00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:38,050 I WANT TEARS. I WANT JEWELRY. 402 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,250 HANK NEVER BOUGHT ME ANY JEWELRY. 403 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,520 NOT THEN, NO. 404 00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:43,350 BUT HE BOUGHT YOU THAT RING, DIDN'T HE? 405 00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:45,150 WHAT RING? 406 00:16:45,190 --> 00:16:46,720 OH, FUCK. 407 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,560 I SPOILED THE FUCKING SURPRISE, DIDN'T I? 408 00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:52,330 WHAT FUCKING SURPRISE? SHIT. 409 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,360 I'M GETTING MARRIED. WHY WOULD HANK BUY ME A RING? 410 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,370 I DON'T KNOW. 411 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,170 CHARLIE MENTIONED THAT HE WAS ON SOME KIND OF ROLL, 412 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,200 AND HE GOT A BONUS FROM THE MOVIE, 413 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,810 AND THEN HE WENT AND BLEW IT ON SOME ANTIQUE RING. 414 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,280 DON'T TELL ME THAT. WHAT, FOR ME? 415 00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:07,280 NO. 416 00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:08,180 OF COURSE FOR YOU. 417 00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:10,550 THAT'S THE KIND OF BLING YOU LIKE, RIGHT? 418 00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:11,780 DEAD PEOPLE'S JEWELRY? 419 00:17:11,810 --> 00:17:12,780 [ CHUCKLES ] 420 00:17:12,820 --> 00:17:15,520 WAIT. WHAT KIND OF RING DID BILL GET YOU, AGAIN? 421 00:17:15,550 --> 00:17:17,520 OH, THAT'S RIGHT -- NONE. 422 00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:20,290 IT'S ON ORDER, OKAY? 423 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,190 IT'S -- IT'S VERY SPECIAL. 424 00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:23,790 IT'S A CANADIAN DIAMOND. 425 00:17:23,830 --> 00:17:25,530 YES. 426 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,560 ARE THEY GOOD WITH THE DIAMONDS, THE CANADIANS? 427 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,130 I THOUGHT JUST THE BACON. 428 00:17:31,170 --> 00:17:32,800 Psst. Hey. 429 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,670 [ GRUNTS ] HEY. 430 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:35,670 I NEED A FAVOR. 431 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,540 AND I NEED SOME SLEEP. GO AWAY. 432 00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:39,110 I'M GETTING CLOSE OUT HERE. 433 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,540 CLOSE TO WHAT? 434 00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:42,110 SEALING THE DEAL. 435 00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:44,150 WITH LADY TYSON? 436 00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:46,150 GOOD LUCK WITH THAT. KEEP YOUR HANDS UP, THOUGH. 437 00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:47,550 HERE'S THE THING, OKAY? 438 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,690 SHE SEEMS AMENABLE TO THE NAUGHTY, RIGHT? 439 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,460 BUT SHE SEEMS EVEN MORE AMENABLE IF YOU'RE PART OF IT. 440 00:17:52,490 --> 00:17:54,790 I THINK SHE'S GOT KIND OF A THING FOR YOU OR SOMETHING. 441 00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:56,260 NO, I'M NOT GOING FOR THAT. 442 00:17:56,290 --> 00:17:57,730 I'VE ALREADY GIVEN THAT GIRL 443 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,660 ENOUGH OF MY PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS. 444 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:02,870 HEY, HANK, I THINK YOU NEED TO TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM HERE. 445 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,530 WHAT TEAM WOULD THAT BE? 446 00:18:04,570 --> 00:18:06,700 THE TEAM OF YOU AND ME, BUDDY, ALL RIGHT? 447 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:09,340 MY WIFE IS OUT THERE TROLLING FOR SNATCH, OKAY? 448 00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:11,810 MEANWHILE, I'VE STUMBLED ONTO SOME HIGH-CLASS, 449 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,610 ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME FANTASY SHIT HERE. 450 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,140 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AWARE, 451 00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:17,410 BUT THIS KIND OF THING DOESN'T HAPPEN FOR ME EVERY DAY. 452 00:18:17,450 --> 00:18:19,750 NO, I AM AWARE, AND I FEEL YOUR PAIN. 453 00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,750 BUT THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA TAKE A CHANCE 454 00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:24,520 OF CROSSING SWORDS WITH YOU OVER SOME POOR GIRL'S "VAJANUS." 455 00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:25,690 ALL RIGHT. THAT'S COOL. 456 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,760 I GET IT. 457 00:18:26,790 --> 00:18:29,160 I'LL GO OUT THERE, I'LL GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT, RIGHT? 458 00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,890 IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, ANOTHER TIME, RIGHT? 459 00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,530 IF NOT THEN, THERE'S ALWAYS CALL GIRLS, 460 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,200 INTERACTIVE PORN, PLASTIC VAGINAS. 461 00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:37,800 THANKS, BUDDY. I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW. 462 00:18:37,830 --> 00:18:40,270 FUCK IT, CHARLIE. OKAY. 463 00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:42,510 OKAY. I'LL DO IT. 464 00:18:43,570 --> 00:18:45,540 FIRST, WE GOT TO SET SOME GUIDELINES. 465 00:18:45,570 --> 00:18:48,340 EXCELLENT IDEA! EXCELLENT. WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? 466 00:18:48,380 --> 00:18:49,850 OKAY, FIRST, 467 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,850 I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR COCK ANYWHERE NEAR ME. 468 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,490 WHY WOULD I WANT MY COCK ANYWHERE NEAR YOU? 469 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,920 WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN A THREESOME WITH ME? 470 00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:00,690 I DON'T. MY CLIENT DOES. 471 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,230 THIS CLIENT DOESN'T. 472 00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:03,930 THAT CLIENT, THE NEW CLIENT. 473 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,430 DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?! 474 00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:07,800 NO. BUT I WILL. FOR YOU. 475 00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:09,600 ANYTHING FOR YOU, MY LOVE. 476 00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:13,640 GO AGENT THE DEAL. I'M GONNA FRESHEN UP HERE. 477 00:19:13,670 --> 00:19:14,870 I NEED TO -- 478 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:17,910 GO MAKE IT SO. MAKE IT SO. 479 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:25,510 ALL RIGHT. I'M GOOD. BRING IT ON. 480 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,290 WELL, I SHOULD GET GOING. 481 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,460 I HAVE TO GET UP FOR WORK IN THE MORNING. 482 00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:35,320 THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID -- I'D LOVE TO WORK WITH YOU ON THIS. 483 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,330 WELL... 484 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,930 YES? 485 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,830 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 486 00:19:41,860 --> 00:19:43,600 HERE YOU GO. 487 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,640 MAKE SHIT HAPPEN. 488 00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:49,640 OH, I WILL. 489 00:19:52,610 --> 00:19:54,540 Marcy: LET'S DO IT. 490 00:19:54,580 --> 00:19:56,610 [ GLASSES CLINK ] 491 00:19:56,650 --> 00:19:58,280 MM! 492 00:19:58,310 --> 00:19:59,550 MMM! 493 00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:01,250 OKAY, WHERE TO, BITCH? 494 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,390 TOTALLY UP TO YOU, SLUNT. 495 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,990 [ CHORTLES ] 496 00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,760 GOD, I MISS YOU. 497 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,320 I FUCKIN' MISS YOU! 498 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,360 I MISS YOU. I LOVE YOU. 499 00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:12,600 [ CHUCKLES ] 500 00:20:12,630 --> 00:20:14,960 I MISS -- I MISS ALL OF US. 501 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,400 ME AND YOU AND HANK AND CHARLIE. 502 00:20:18,430 --> 00:20:21,970 THAT FIRST YEAR YOU GUYS WERE OUT HERE -- THAT WAS MAGIC. 503 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,010 MM-HMM. 504 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,310 THE DRINKING, THE DINNERS, 505 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:28,280 THE MOVIES, THE SMOKING, THE "EX." 506 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:32,680 THAT TIME WE ALMOST DID SWAP BUT CHARLIE GOT HIVES. 507 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,450 OH, GOOD TIMES. 508 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,990 YEAH. 509 00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:40,990 YOU KNOW, MORSEL, IT CAN BE LIKE THAT AGAIN. 510 00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:42,830 NO OFFENSE, SWEETIE, 511 00:20:42,860 --> 00:20:45,330 BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT KIND OF STUFF WITH BILL. 512 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,760 WHY NOT? 513 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:47,660 I DON'T KNOW. 514 00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:50,730 HE JUST KIND OF MAKES MY LABIA SHRIVEL. 515 00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:53,000 THANK YOU FOR THAT NICE IMAGE. 516 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:58,070 I'M SORRY. I JUST -- I MISS MY FUCKING LIFE. 517 00:20:58,110 --> 00:21:01,910 I KNOW IT'S INCREDIBLY ANTI-FEMINIST OF ME TO ADMIT IT, 518 00:21:01,940 --> 00:21:03,480 BUT... [ SIGHS ] 519 00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:06,750 ...I MISS THAT SEXY LITTLE BULLDOG. 520 00:21:06,780 --> 00:21:08,680 UGH. 521 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:09,690 UCCH. 522 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,620 I FUCKED UP, HE FUCKED UP... 523 00:21:12,660 --> 00:21:15,790 I JUST -- I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE. 524 00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:21,960 [ SIGHS ] 525 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,700 MARSUPIAL... 526 00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:25,830 KARENINA... 527 00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:27,070 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 528 00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:30,910 DID HE REALLY BUY ME A RING? 529 00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:32,810 YEAH. 530 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,610 THIS COMES AS A SHOCK TO YOU? 531 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,510 LOOK, I KNOW HANK CAN BE 532 00:21:37,550 --> 00:21:39,750 A DOUCHEBAG ON WHEELS SOMETIMES, 533 00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:42,490 BUT HE LOVES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. 534 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,360 HIS SUN RISES AND SETS ON YOU, BABY. 535 00:21:48,020 --> 00:21:49,790 [ PANTING ] 536 00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:51,790 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ] 537 00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:55,130 DEAR? 538 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,370 DEAR? 539 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,600 [ Panting ] COULD I GET A SIP OF THAT? 540 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,900 WORKING HARD, HUH? 541 00:22:04,870 --> 00:22:09,010 WOULDN'T WANT TO GET ANY GERMS ON YOU, HUH? 542 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,010 YOU'RE HARDLY WORKING. 543 00:22:11,050 --> 00:22:15,780 [ SIPS, GULPS, RESUMES PANTING ] 544 00:22:25,460 --> 00:22:26,530 OKAY. 545 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:27,660 OKAY. 546 00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:29,100 YOU KNOW WHAT? 547 00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:31,030 COME ON UP. COME ON UP. 548 00:22:31,070 --> 00:22:32,600 COME HERE. 549 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,570 LISTEN, I-I THINK IF IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET, 550 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,810 I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 551 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,880 AND, I APOLOGIZE, BUT I-I JUST THINK I'D BE 552 00:22:39,910 --> 00:22:43,410 SHOOTING PUFFS OF SMOKE RIGHT NOW, ANYWAY, SO... 553 00:22:43,450 --> 00:22:44,580 MAYBE... 554 00:22:44,610 --> 00:22:47,180 MAYBE THAT'S IT. 555 00:22:47,220 --> 00:22:48,880 NO MáS. 556 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,620 OKAY, CHARLIE, YOU'VE GOT WORK TO DO. 557 00:22:51,650 --> 00:22:54,860 WHAT THE CLIENT WANTS, THE CLIENT GETS. 558 00:22:54,890 --> 00:22:56,890 NOT THIS CLIENT. 559 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,010 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 560 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:11,940 Shh! 561 00:23:11,970 --> 00:23:13,480 Maybe they're still out. 562 00:23:13,510 --> 00:23:16,210 The music's on, the cars are here. 563 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,480 They just don't hear us. 564 00:23:32,630 --> 00:23:34,460 [ MOANING PLEASURABLY ] 565 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:36,000 OOH, YEAH! 566 00:23:36,030 --> 00:23:38,830 YEAH! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! 567 00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:43,010 HOLY SHIT. 568 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:44,470 CHARLIE... 569 00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:47,240 Charlie! MM! MM! 570 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,010 Charlie! 571 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,880 [ MUSIC CONTINUES ] 572 00:23:51,910 --> 00:23:53,850 It's all clear. 573 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,720 Okay. 574 00:23:59,050 --> 00:24:00,160 CHARLIE. 575 00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:01,620 Charlie. AHH! 576 00:24:01,660 --> 00:24:03,690 Charlie, shit! Heads up! 577 00:24:03,730 --> 00:24:04,930 OH, YES! YES! 578 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,860 I just remembered why I didn't call her back. 579 00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:10,000 [ PANTING, MOANING INTENSIFIES ] 580 00:24:10,030 --> 00:24:11,530 Charlie. 581 00:24:11,570 --> 00:24:12,870 Charlie. 582 00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:14,500 Dude, she's gonna blow. 583 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,040 AH! 584 00:24:18,070 --> 00:24:20,040 OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH! 585 00:24:26,150 --> 00:24:29,590 [ LAUGHTER ] 586 00:24:39,930 --> 00:24:43,230 BABY, COME ON. HEY, HEY, HEY. WE WERE TAKING A BREAK. 587 00:24:43,270 --> 00:24:46,170 I WAS JUST GETTING SOME STANK ON MY HANG-LOW, LIKE YOU SAID. 588 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,740 HEY. DON'T GO AWAY MAD. 589 00:24:48,770 --> 00:24:49,670 I'M NOT MAD. 590 00:24:49,710 --> 00:24:52,610 YOU'RE JUST ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DISGUSTING. 591 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,880 I ADMIT IT WASN'T THE MOST PLEASANT SCENE TO WALK IN ON, 592 00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,610 BUT NOBODY ASKED YOU TO WALK IN ON IT. 593 00:24:56,650 --> 00:24:57,610 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT. 594 00:24:57,650 --> 00:25:00,080 AND THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 595 00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,750 YOU DON'T OWE ME AN APOLOGY. 596 00:25:01,780 --> 00:25:03,150 KAREN, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. 597 00:25:03,190 --> 00:25:05,220 YOU CAN'T TELL ME TO FUCK OFF AND FORGET ABOUT YOU 598 00:25:05,250 --> 00:25:07,760 AND THEN WANDER BACK INTO MY LIFE WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT. 599 00:25:07,790 --> 00:25:11,590 BELIEVE ME, I WILL NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN. 600 00:25:11,630 --> 00:25:12,600 OKAY. OKAY. 601 00:25:12,630 --> 00:25:13,630 WELL, WHY DID YOU COME? 602 00:25:13,660 --> 00:25:16,900 BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT ME A RING, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. 603 00:25:16,930 --> 00:25:18,600 I DID. YES. 604 00:25:18,630 --> 00:25:22,100 I MEAN, YOU WENT INTO A STORE, AND YOU LOOKED AROUND, 605 00:25:22,140 --> 00:25:24,340 AND THEN YOU -- YOU PICKED OUT A RING, AND THEN -- 606 00:25:24,370 --> 00:25:25,940 AND THEN YOU BOUGHT IT FOR ME. 607 00:25:25,970 --> 00:25:27,680 I DID. 608 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,580 BUT YOU NEVER BOUGHT ME A RING. EVER. 609 00:25:31,610 --> 00:25:33,920 WHERE IS IT? WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE IT TO ME? 610 00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:37,020 YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GONNA MARRY BILL AND I SHOULD RESPECT THAT. 611 00:25:37,050 --> 00:25:38,290 RIGHT. YES. 612 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,260 THAT NEVER STOPPED YOU BEFORE. 613 00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:43,230 WOULD YOU HAVE WANTED ME TO GIVE IT TO YOU? 614 00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:45,160 I MEAN, WOULD THAT HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE? 615 00:25:45,190 --> 00:25:50,030 ARE YOU QUESTIONING THINGS? ARE YOU HAVING DOUBTS? 616 00:25:50,070 --> 00:25:51,700 I QUESTION EVERYTHING. 617 00:25:51,730 --> 00:25:53,170 IT'S VERY HEALTHY. IT IS VERY HEALTHY. 618 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,240 BUT IF YOU ARE QUESTIONING THINGS AND HAVING DOUBTS, 619 00:25:55,270 --> 00:25:57,670 MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T JUST, YOU KNOW, RUSH INTO THE WEDDING. 620 00:25:57,710 --> 00:25:59,610 MAYBE YOU SHOULD POSTPONE THE FUCKING WEDDING. 621 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,010 WHAT'S THE RUSH? 622 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,210 I CAN'T DO THAT. 623 00:26:03,250 --> 00:26:05,180 LOOK, I NEVER SAID THAT YOU HAD TO CHOOSE 624 00:26:05,210 --> 00:26:07,320 BETWEEN ME AND WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR. 625 00:26:07,350 --> 00:26:09,990 I JUST THINK YOU CAN'T RUN OFF AND MARRY A GUY 626 00:26:10,020 --> 00:26:12,990 AFTER MAKING SWEET LOVE TO YOURS TRULY. 627 00:26:13,020 --> 00:26:15,790 IT JUST WOULDN'T BE CHASTE, YOUNG LADY. 628 00:26:15,820 --> 00:26:17,990 SAYS THE GUY WHO'S, LIKE, HOSTING ORGIES 629 00:26:18,030 --> 00:26:20,300 AND STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET IN A SKIRT. 630 00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:22,770 IT WAS HARDLY AN ORGY. I WASN'T EVEN THAT INTO IT. 631 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,330 I JUST DID IT TO GET CHARLIE LAID. 632 00:26:24,370 --> 00:26:27,070 I FORGOT -- YOU'RE SUCH A HUMANITARIAN, RIGHT? 633 00:26:27,100 --> 00:26:29,370 LOOK, I DID BUY YOU A RING, AND I WOULD SHOW IT TO YOU, 634 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,040 BUT I GAVE IT TO THIS HOMELESS WOMAN AFTER YOU BLEW ME OFF. 635 00:26:32,070 --> 00:26:32,980 IT'S A TRUE STORY. 636 00:26:33,010 --> 00:26:34,980 IT WAS A VERY NICE RING. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 637 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,050 IT WAS ELEGANT AND UNDERSTATED, MUCH LIKE YOURSELF. 638 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,280 I WOULD HAVE LIKED NOTHING BETTER 639 00:26:38,310 --> 00:26:41,050 THAN TO GET DOWN ON BENDED KNEE AND SLIP IT ON YOUR FINGER. 640 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,650 STOP IT. 641 00:26:42,690 --> 00:26:44,320 BUT BUYING IT WAS A MISTAKE. 642 00:26:44,350 --> 00:26:46,920 BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT THE RING. IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE RING. 643 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,190 IT'S NOT ABOUT MARRIAGE. 644 00:26:48,220 --> 00:26:50,230 IT'S NOT ABOUT THE WEDDING, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME, 645 00:26:50,260 --> 00:26:52,160 IT'S NOT ABOUT BILL, IT'S NOT ABOUT BECCA... 646 00:26:52,190 --> 00:26:54,130 IT'S ABOUT YOU, KAREN. 647 00:27:01,140 --> 00:27:02,770 BYE, HANK. 648 00:27:04,740 --> 00:27:07,940 GOOD NIGHT, CHAMP. COME AGAIN. 649 00:27:08,810 --> 00:27:10,350 SO TO SPEAK. YOU KNOW... 650 00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:12,920 GOOD NIGHT. 651 00:27:12,950 --> 00:27:14,050 GOOD NIGHT... 652 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:15,750 KAREN. 653 00:27:21,190 --> 00:27:24,730 Hank: YO. RUNKULUS MAXIMUS. 654 00:27:28,430 --> 00:27:30,400 LOOK AT YOU. 655 00:27:30,430 --> 00:27:33,140 ISN'T IT GOOD TO BE FREE? 656 00:27:33,170 --> 00:27:34,900 HMM? 657 00:27:34,940 --> 00:27:38,740 NO WOMEN WEIGHING US DOWN. 658 00:27:38,770 --> 00:27:42,180 AIN'T LIFE FUCKIN' GRAND? 659 00:27:47,780 --> 00:27:50,750 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 660 00:27:50,790 --> 00:27:53,760 CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY SHOWTIME NETWORKS 661 00:27:53,790 --> 00:27:56,730 AND BLIND DECKER PRODUCTIONS 46616

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