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1
00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:11,060
PREVIOUSLY ON
"CALIFORNICATION"...
2
00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:14,200
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TODD CARR --
3
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:16,530
WHO TOOK MY PRECIOUS LITTLE
NOVEL, WIPED HIS ASS,
4
00:00:16,570 --> 00:00:17,770
AND TRANSFORMED IT
5
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,800
INTO THIS "CRAZY LITTLE THING
CALLED LOVE."
6
00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:23,740
UGH!
7
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,310
HOLY FUCKNUTS!
8
00:00:26,340 --> 00:00:27,510
SHIT!
9
00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:29,610
WHAT,
DON'T YOU FUCKIN' KNOCK?
10
00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:31,280
YOU USED TO BE ALL ABOUT
THE MORNING SEX.
11
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,150
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?
12
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:34,280
ANYBODY HOME?
13
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:35,350
HEY, BABY!
14
00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:36,790
GOOD AFTERNOON,
MRS. RUNKLE.
15
00:00:37,550 --> 00:00:38,660
WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?
16
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,120
MAYBE YOU WANT ME
17
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,660
TO MAKE YOU WEAR A BALL GAG
IN YOUR MOUTH.
18
00:00:42,690 --> 00:00:45,600
YOU HAVE TO COME GET ME.
I'M A LITTLE BUSY
RIGHT NOW.
19
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:46,830
MY TEACHER --
HE'S COKED OUT OF HIS MIND.
20
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,200
AND HE'S TRYING TO GET ME
INTO A THREESOME.
21
00:00:49,230 --> 00:00:50,870
YOU WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIES
WITH US, DAD?
22
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,770
IT TURNS OUT THAT WAS
BALD OLD UNCLE CHARLIE,
23
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,640
AND HE'S GOING THROUGH
A ROUGH PATCH.
24
00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:56,870
YOU CRIED WOLF.
25
00:00:56,910 --> 00:00:58,480
MAYBE I JUST WANTED
TO SEE YOU.
26
00:00:58,510 --> 00:01:00,310
YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE
WITH ME, HANK.
27
00:01:00,340 --> 00:01:03,580
YOU'RE IN LOVE
WITH THE IDEA OF LOVE.
28
00:01:04,550 --> 00:01:06,380
YOU'RE RUNNING
FOR THE HILLS.
29
00:01:08,150 --> 00:01:10,520
OH, MY GOD!
30
00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,700
OKAY, THIS IS EXCITING.
31
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,670
I'M READY.
I'M ALL EARS.
32
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:23,670
"NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY."
33
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:25,300
"NATURE'S
FIRST GREEN --"
34
00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:28,140
STOP. I JUST THREW UP
IN MY MOUTH A LITTLE.
35
00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:30,770
YOU HAD 20 CENTURIES OF HALFWAY
DECENT VERSE TO CHOOSE FROM
36
00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:33,140
AND YOU'RE GOING
WITH SOME MINOR FROSTY?
37
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:34,880
I LIKE IT.
38
00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:36,750
IT'S SHORT.
39
00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:38,580
AND?
40
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:39,650
BLEAK.
41
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,290
HMM. AND?
42
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:45,260
I SAW IT IN A MOVIE
ONCE.
43
00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:47,520
WELL, THEN, IT MUST BE GOOD.
CONTINUE.
44
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,260
WELL, BASICALLY IT'S ABOUT
HOW NOTHING GOOD EVER LASTS,
45
00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:51,800
HOW,
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO,
46
00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:53,900
IT ALL JUST TURNS TO SHIT
IN THE END --
47
00:01:53,930 --> 00:01:56,500
YOU KNOW,
LIKE YOU AND MOM.
48
00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:58,800
AH. TRENCHANT IF PROFANE
LITERARY CRITICISM.
49
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,540
IT'S AN INTERESTING TAKE.
50
00:02:00,570 --> 00:02:02,640
I WILL PUT THAT ONE
ON YOUR TAB, BY THE WAY.
51
00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:04,310
BUT DON'T EVER
THINK THAT, HONEY.
52
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,310
JUST BECAUSE
SOMETHING IS BLEAK
53
00:02:06,340 --> 00:02:08,380
DOESN'T NECESSARILY
MAKE IT TRUE.
54
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:09,480
HAIR.
55
00:02:09,510 --> 00:02:13,520
HAPPY ENDINGS MAY GET A BAD RAP,
BUT THEY DO HAPPEN.
56
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,880
AND WHEN THEY DO,
57
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,550
THEY'RE JUST AS TRUE
AS THE UNHAPPY ONES.
58
00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:19,220
SO YOU'RE SAYING
IT IS POSSIBLE
59
00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:21,630
MAYBE ONE DAY YOU AND MOM
COULD GET BACK TOGETHER?
60
00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:22,890
OF COURSE.
ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE.
61
00:02:22,930 --> 00:02:25,600
YES,
BUT IS IT REALISTIC?
62
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:30,570
WHO SAYS
WE HAVE TO BE REALISTIC?
63
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,300
MOM.
OH.
64
00:02:32,340 --> 00:02:33,700
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
65
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,570
WELL, NOT TO CONTRADICT
YOUR DEAR OLD MOM,
66
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,940
WHO IS BOTH WICKED SMART
AND WICKED WONDERFUL,
67
00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:41,310
BUT, NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO BE --
REALISTIC, THAT IS.
68
00:02:41,350 --> 00:02:42,950
NOT WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE.
69
00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:45,250
[ DOG FARTS ]
OH, JEEZ.
70
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:46,620
IS THAT YUSUF?
71
00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:47,880
OH.
72
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,620
GUESS THAT'S HER.
73
00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:51,790
GOT TO CHANGE
WHAT I'M FEEDING THAT DOG...
74
00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:53,290
OR YOU.
75
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:57,430
HELLO, SUNSHINE.
76
00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:59,500
I'M DOUBLE-PARKED,
SO I JUST GOT TO GRAB HER.
77
00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:01,430
THEN, BY ALL MEANS,
SKIP THE PLEASANTRIES.
78
00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:02,970
BUT CAN YOU
DO ME A FAVOR
79
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,570
AND STOP TELLING OUR DAUGHTER
NOT TO BELIEVE IN HAPPY ENDINGS?
80
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:06,970
WHAT'S NEXT --
NO SANTA CLAUS?
81
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,270
YOU GONNA SHIT ALL OVER
THE EASTER BUNNY, TOO?
82
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:11,980
I THINK SHE FIGURED OUT
THE SANTA CLAUS THING ALREADY,
83
00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:14,010
AND I DO BELIEVE
IN HAPPY ENDINGS,
84
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,380
JUST NOT WHEN IT COMES
TO THE BALLAD OF HANK AND KAREN.
85
00:03:16,410 --> 00:03:18,550
BULLSHIT. WE PRACTICALLY
MADE OUT LAST WEEK.
86
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:20,880
THAT'S NOTHING
IF NOT PROGRESS.
87
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,690
I HOPE TO GET TO SECOND BASE
THIS WEEK.
88
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,520
OH, PLEASE.
THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
89
00:03:24,550 --> 00:03:27,320
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT? YOUR TONGUE
JUST SLIPPED INTO MY MOUTH?
90
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,690
NO, OTHER WAY AROUND.
91
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:31,830
THE FACT THAT YOU'RE MAKING
THESE LAME EXCUSES UP
92
00:03:31,860 --> 00:03:35,270
CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING --
YOU'RE TOTALLY INTO ME STILL.
93
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,530
OH, REALLY?
94
00:03:36,570 --> 00:03:37,600
TOTALLY.
95
00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:38,970
[ DOG BARKS ]
96
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,870
COME ON, HONEY.
97
00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:43,340
GOODBYE, SWEETIE.
98
00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:49,280
HEY.
STAY GOLD, PONYBOY.
99
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,600
THERE IS NO
FUCKING SOY MILK!
100
00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:44,830
WILL YOU NUT UP
AND LEARN TO DIGEST DAIRY?
101
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:46,740
WHAT THE FUCK
IS WRONG WITH YOU?
102
00:04:46,770 --> 00:04:48,570
NOTHING A BRAND-NEW
GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT
103
00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:49,840
WOULDN'T FIX.
104
00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:51,510
BULLSHIT. HERE.
105
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:54,010
IT'S NOT VANILLA, BUT YOU
CAN PUNISH ME FOR THAT LATER.
106
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,350
I'LL DUST OFF
THE WHIPS AND CHAINS.
107
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,950
HA HA HA.
VERY FUNNY.
108
00:04:57,980 --> 00:05:00,880
SERIOUSLY. I'VE BEEN
A VERY NAUGHTY HAUSFRAU.
109
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,120
YOU ALMOST DIED
FROM MALNUTRITION.
110
00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:05,590
THESE JOKES ARE NEVER
GONNA GET OLD, ARE THEY?
111
00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:07,660
WHAT IS A MARRIAGE,
IF NOT AN OPPORTUNITY
112
00:05:07,690 --> 00:05:09,730
TO MOCK SOMEONE
THROUGH THICK AND THIN
113
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,860
WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY
EXPLORING
114
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:14,000
YOUR DEEPEST,
DARKEST SEXUAL DESIRES?
115
00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:16,100
YEAH, WELL,
WHAT SAY ONE DAY SOON
116
00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:18,840
WE LAY OFF MINE
AND START DISCUSSING YOURS?
117
00:05:18,870 --> 00:05:20,570
YEAH,
LIKE YOU COULD HANDLE THAT.
118
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:22,370
OH, OH,
YOU WANT TO TRY ME?
119
00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:24,870
I WANT TO DO IT
WITH A GIRL.
120
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:26,680
[ COUGHING ]
121
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,410
SO, UH, WHAT,
122
00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:34,550
THIS IS SOMETHING YOU, UM,
FEEL YOU MIGHT ENJOY?
123
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,520
YEAH, SURE.
I HEAR IT'S NICE, YOU KNOW?
124
00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:37,850
GETTING
A LITTLE WORK DONE
125
00:05:37,890 --> 00:05:40,090
BY SOMEONE WHO OWNS
HER OWN SET OF TOOLS.
126
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,990
BUT I WOULDN'T
WANT TO LEAVE YOU OUT.
127
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:46,400
IT SEEMS MORE, I DON'T KNOW,
HONEST THAT WAY.
128
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:50,570
HONEST...RIGHT.
129
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,140
DON'T YOU SEE
WHAT THIS MEANS?
130
00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:54,600
THIS IS
A GIFT FROM ON HIGH.
131
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,610
THIS IS A COSMIC
"GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" CARD.
132
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,740
THE WHOLE THING
WAS HER IDEA.
133
00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:01,850
I'M TRYING TO MENTALLY
MASTURBATE ABOUT IT,
134
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,850
BUT AN IMAGE OF YOU
KEEPS POPPING INTO MY HEAD,
135
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:04,950
AND THAT'S A PROBLEM.
136
00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:07,680
NO, SEE, IF I DO THIS --
IF WE DO THIS THING,
137
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:10,120
THEN ALL THIS GUILT I'VE BEEN
CARRYING AROUND FOR WEEKS --
138
00:06:10,150 --> 00:06:13,690
THE MASSIVE, CRUSHING GUILT --
POOF, THAT IS GONE.
139
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,460
I AM ABSOLVED.
140
00:06:15,490 --> 00:06:18,800
I KNOW YOU HEBREWS DO THINGS
A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY,
141
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:20,060
BUT LAST I CHECKED,
142
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,970
A MéNAGE à TROIS WAS NOT
A PIT STOP
143
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,570
ON THE ROAD
TO REDEMPTION.
144
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,740
THIS COULD SAVE
THE MARRIAGE.
145
00:06:25,770 --> 00:06:27,470
SO CAN
BUYING A BEACH HOUSE.
146
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,610
OR YOU COULD TRY ADOPTING
147
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,570
AN INCREDIBLY
GOOD-LOOKING AFRICAN BABY.
148
00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:32,010
I HEAR GOOD THINGS
ABOUT THAT.
149
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,980
SPEAKING OF...
150
00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:35,980
OH, YOU GOT TO BE
FUCKING KIDDING ME.
151
00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:37,510
THAT COCKSUCKER?
152
00:06:37,550 --> 00:06:38,980
THAT COCKSUCKER
HAS THE GOOD TASTE
153
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:41,590
TO WANT TO OPTION YOUR BLOG
FOR A NICE CHUNK OF CHANGE.
154
00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:43,750
HOW THE FUCK
DO YOU OPTION A BLOG?
155
00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:46,560
WHAT IS THERE TO OPTION?
THE TITLE? THE FONT?
156
00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:48,630
TODD!
GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
157
00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:50,230
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
158
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:51,190
MOODY.
159
00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:52,500
CARR.
160
00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:53,860
I WOULD STAND,
161
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,730
BUT THAT WOULD EXPOSE
MY NETHER-REGIONS TO ATTACK.
162
00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:58,670
I GOT NO BEEF WITH YOU,
MOODY.
163
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,000
I'M HERE ON BUSINESS.
164
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,040
SO I'M TOLD BY
THE FREDO CORLEONE OF AGENTS.
165
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:04,040
ALTHOUGH I CAN'T
FOR THE LIFE OF ME
166
00:07:04,070 --> 00:07:05,780
IMAGINE WHAT THAT BUSINESS
MIGHT BE,
167
00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:08,650
UNLESS IT'S TO DISCUSS CUSTODY
OF OUR RETARDED LOVE CHILD.
168
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,610
LET THE MAN TALK,
WILL YOU?
169
00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:12,520
TODD HERE HAS A THREE-PICTURE
DEAL AT PARAMOUNT.
170
00:07:12,550 --> 00:07:14,080
HE'S LOOKING
TO GET HIS SACK BACK
171
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,890
WITH SOME SERIOUSLY
EDGY MATERIAL.
172
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:17,150
WELL, I'M SORRY,
173
00:07:17,190 --> 00:07:19,560
BUT MY TESTICLES ARE NOT
AVAILABLE FOR TIME-SHARE.
174
00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:22,060
IT TOLD YOU THIS WAS
A WASTE OF MY FUCKING TIME.
175
00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:24,160
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT
A GUY LIKE ME HAD TO TAKE
176
00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,200
FOR DIRECTING
A FROTHY LITTLE ROM COM?
177
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:29,000
YOU THINK ANTOINE FUQUA
RETURNS MY CALLS?
178
00:07:29,030 --> 00:07:30,100
BUT I DID IT.
179
00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:32,800
I KNOCKED THAT MOTHERFUCKER
INTO THE CHEAP SEATS.
180
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,740
AND I'M GLAD I DID IT.
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
181
00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:37,870
BECAUSE IT KEEPS THE BABY MAMAS
IN JUICY COUTURE?
182
00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:40,880
NO, HEY, I'M NOT HATING.
I'M NOT JUDGING.
183
00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:43,150
I GOT A LITTLE BABY MAMA
ALL MY OWN.
184
00:07:43,180 --> 00:07:44,680
IT'S TRUE. HE DOES.
185
00:07:44,710 --> 00:07:46,750
HEY, I'M SENSING
SOME COMMON GROUND HERE.
186
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:48,220
DO YOU REMEMBER KAREN?
187
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,920
YEAH, SHE WAS WAY
TOO FUCKING HOT FOR THIS MOPE.
188
00:07:50,950 --> 00:07:52,120
THAT'S TRUE.
SHE IS.
189
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,760
SHE ALSO HAPPENS TO BE ONE
FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC ARCHITECT.
190
00:07:55,790 --> 00:07:58,900
IS SOMEONE LOOKING TO PIMP OUT
THE McMANSION IN BALDWIN HILLS?
191
00:07:58,930 --> 00:08:00,960
I OWN
A RAY FUCKING KAPPE HOUSE.
192
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,630
GUY HAS A HARD-ON
FOR ARCHITECTURE
193
00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,070
BIGGER
THAN BRAD PITT'S.
194
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,540
OH,
COLOR ME IMPRESSED.
195
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,540
WHAT, A BROTHER
CAN'T LOVE MODERNISM?
196
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:11,710
I LIKE THIS.
WE'RE FREE-ASSOCIATING HERE.
197
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:14,280
THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION --
WIDE OPEN.
198
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:15,480
EXCELLENT.
199
00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:17,780
DO YOU KNOW WHY I WANTED TO
WORK WITH YOU AGAIN, MOODY?
200
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:20,680
WHEN YOU'RE NOT WALLOWING
IN NARCISSISTIC DESPAIR,
201
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,020
YOU'RE THE RAREST THING
THIS TOWN HAS TO OFFER --
202
00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:25,250
SOMEONE
WITH SOME GODDAMN VISION.
203
00:08:25,290 --> 00:08:26,760
I THOUGHT IT WAS 'CAUSE
204
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:29,730
YOU LIKED THE FEEL
OF MY BALLS ON YOUR KNUCKLES.
205
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,600
LATER, RUNKLE.
206
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,170
WELL DONE, MY FRIEND.
207
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,270
I DON'T KNOW.
I FEEL LIKE WE BONDED.
208
00:08:48,210 --> 00:08:50,780
WHO THE FUCK IS ANSWERING
MY FUCKING PHONES
209
00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:52,150
IF THERE'S -- OH.
210
00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:53,620
OH.
211
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:55,280
BABY,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
212
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,650
I HAD A BURST
OF INSPIRATION.
213
00:08:57,690 --> 00:09:00,190
COME HERE, YOU.
HELLO.
214
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:03,760
SO I WAS TALKING TO DANI HERE
ABOUT OUR SEXUAL PROBLEM.
215
00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:05,030
OUR WHAT?
216
00:09:05,060 --> 00:09:07,230
SHE'S TOTALLY IN.
217
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:09,170
EXCUSE ME?
218
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,300
HER, ME, YOU.
219
00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:13,640
WE HAD A LITTLE GIRL-TO-GIRL
CHAT ON THE SUBJECT,
220
00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:16,070
AND SHE AGREES WITH ME
ABOUT THE TOOLBOX THING.
221
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:18,680
OH, SHIT.
222
00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:21,180
I SAID "TOOL."
223
00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:22,780
AND "BOX."
224
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:25,850
OKAY, UH, DANI, COULD YOU
GIVE US JUST A SECOND, PLEASE?
225
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,620
I BELIEVE MY WIFE FORGOT TO TAKE
HER LIBRIUM THIS MORNING.
226
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:33,260
NO PROBLEM, SIR.
SO, UM, HOLD ALL YOUR CALLS?
227
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:35,190
YES, DANI,
HOLD ALL MY CALLS.
228
00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:37,730
VERY GOOD, SIR.
229
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:44,170
WIFE, HAVE YOU LOST
YOUR FUCKING MIND?
230
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,800
THIS IS PERFECT.
231
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,900
IT'S EXACTLY
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT.
232
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:50,740
YEAH, TALKED -- AS IN
HYPOTHETICAL CONVERSATION.
233
00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:52,780
THIS'S
MY FUCKING SECRETARY!
234
00:09:52,810 --> 00:09:54,210
SO?
235
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,350
SO, IF IT GOES BADLY,
I'LL HAVE TO FIRE HER.
236
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:58,720
SHIT, IF IT GOES WELL,
I'D HAVE TO FIRE HER.
237
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,780
EITHER WAY,
I'M OUT ONE FUCKING SECRETARY
238
00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:02,320
AND UP A GIANT LAWSUIT.
239
00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:04,420
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
SHE WAS GOD-AWFUL?
240
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:07,920
THEY'RE ALL GOD-AWFUL
UNTIL YOU TRAIN THEM.
241
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,690
THEN THEY IMPROVE.
242
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:11,130
WHAT, LIKE DOGS?
243
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,160
COME ON. YOU'RE NOT
GONNA DO THIS FOR ME?
244
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,930
I HELPED YOU OUT
WITH YOUR FANTASY.
245
00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,370
YEAH, BADLY.
246
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,300
LOOK, JUST...
[ CHUCKLES ]
247
00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:21,370
JUST PICK SOMEONE ELSE,
THAT'S ALL.
248
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,770
LIKE WHO?
249
00:10:22,810 --> 00:10:25,270
I DON'T KNOW --
SOMEBODY, ANYBODY.
250
00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:28,810
SOMEONE FROM THE SALON
OR I -- WHAT ABOUT KAREN?
251
00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:31,880
THE PRIM REAPER?
252
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:35,180
SHE'S SO TALL...
AND PRESBYTERIAN.
253
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:37,090
THE WOMAN'S A GODDESS.
SHE'S GORGEOUS.
254
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,790
I DON'T WANT TO GO
WHERE HANK HAS BEEN.
255
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:41,320
HE PROBABLY LEFT BOOBY TRAPS
UP THERE LIKE THE VIETCONG.
256
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:45,800
COME ON, BABY...PLEASE?
257
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:47,800
I WANT THE LITTLE ONE.
258
00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:49,770
SHE LOOKS LIKE
SHE KNOWS THINGS.
259
00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:56,410
OH, MY GOD.
260
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,510
YOU LIKE?
261
00:10:57,540 --> 00:11:00,080
WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE I LIKE.
IT'S A RAY KAPPE HOUSE.
262
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:01,880
RAY FUCKING KAPPE.
263
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:04,350
THAT'S ONE OF THOSE GUYS
FROM ARCHITECTURE SCHOOL
264
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:06,050
THAT USED TO GET YOU
ALL JUICED UP.
265
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,920
I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE ONE
ALL UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL.
266
00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:10,820
HANK, CAN YOU GET BACK
IN THE CAR?
267
00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:14,320
WE'RE GONNA GET TASERED
BY THE BEL-AIR PATROL.
268
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,060
MY LADY.
269
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:18,760
W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
270
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,970
JUST MADE A LITTLE DEAL
WITH THE CARAMEL-COATED DEVIL.
271
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,900
TASERING --
YOU LIKE THAT?
272
00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:26,900
IS THAT SOMETHING
YOU'RE INTO NOW?
273
00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:28,740
Karen:
OH, MY GOD.
274
00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:30,270
Todd: IT'S FUCKING
GORGEOUS, HUH?
275
00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,510
NOT A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE,
THOUGH.
276
00:11:32,540 --> 00:11:35,080
HANK NEVER REALLY GOT
ARCHITECTURE AS AN ART FORM.
277
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:38,480
TOO MUCH COMPROMISE INVOLVED,
TOO MANY PRACTICALITIES.
278
00:11:38,510 --> 00:11:40,480
DUDE WOULD RATHER
HANG OUT ALL ALONE
279
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,190
IN HIS IVORY TOWER,
RIGHT?
280
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:44,490
MASSAGING THOSE PRECIOUS
LITTLE WORDS OF HIS.
281
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,220
LIKE ANYONE GIVES A FUCK IF IT'S
AN "AND" INSTEAD OF "OR."
282
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:48,930
YOU GOT ME ALL WRONG.
283
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,830
I TRY TO LIVE
IN AN IVORY TOWER,
284
00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:53,860
BUT A TIDE OF SHIT IS
CONSTANTLY BEATING AT ITS WALLS.
285
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:55,830
DON'T BE IMPRESSED.
HE STOLE THAT FROM FLAUBERT.
286
00:11:55,870 --> 00:11:57,500
HEY, CARR, IF YOU
DON'T MIND MY ASKING,
287
00:11:57,530 --> 00:11:59,400
HOW MUCH A PLACE
LIKE THIS SET YOU BACK?
288
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,240
THE FEELING
OF REAL ARCHITECTURE --
289
00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:03,070
YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE TAG
ON THAT.
290
00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:04,210
SO YOU DO MIND.
291
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,480
MAKES YOUR HEART SOAR,
LIFTS YOUR SOUL.
292
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:08,950
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
293
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:10,850
IT'S JUST INCREDIBLE.
294
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,480
I THINK IT WAS RUSKIN
THAT ONCE SAID --
295
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,020
"IT WAS RUSKIN."
296
00:12:15,050 --> 00:12:16,390
SHUT UP.
297
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:19,390
"WITHOUT ARCHITECTURE,
THERE WOULD BE NO REMEMBERING."
298
00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:21,090
I LIKE THAT.
299
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,530
THAT'S NICE.
300
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,490
ABOUT 4, 5 MILL?
301
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,830
I'M SO SORRY.
302
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:30,870
CAN I JUST SAY
THANK YOU SO MUCH?
303
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:33,440
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A DREAM OF MINE
TO SEE INSIDE THIS HOUSE.
304
00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:35,440
I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOUR TIME.
305
00:12:35,470 --> 00:12:38,010
IT'S GONNA BE
EVEN MORE SLICK
306
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,280
WHEN I HAVE A POOL OUT HERE,
A LITTLE GUEST HOUSE,
307
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:41,410
MAYBE A SCREENING ROOM.
308
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,350
PLUS, I WANT THE WHOLE THING
TO BE ALL ECO-FRIENDLY.
309
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,220
HANK SAYS YOU'RE SOME KIND
OF GENIUS AT THAT.
310
00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:47,580
NO, I --
311
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,820
THAT'S WHY I WAS REALLY HOPING
YOU WOULD TAKE THE JOB.
312
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:50,950
WHAT JOB?
313
00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:52,220
DID I FORGET TO MENTION
314
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:54,090
THAT CARR HERE
IS LOOKING FOR AN ARCHITECT?
315
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,960
I THINK MY WORK HERE
IS DONE.
316
00:12:56,990 --> 00:12:58,030
ME?
317
00:12:58,060 --> 00:13:00,230
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
318
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:02,230
OH, MY GOD!
319
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:04,530
OH. I LIKE THAT.
320
00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:08,500
WANT TO JUMP MY BONES NOW
321
00:13:08,540 --> 00:13:11,840
OR HOLD OUT FOR A SITUATION
WITH A LITTLE MORE BACK SUPPORT?
322
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,080
[ LAUGHS ]
I DID GOOD, DIDN'T I?
323
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,380
YOU DID.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
324
00:13:16,410 --> 00:13:18,450
I'M SO EXCITED.
325
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,580
WILL YOU TAKE ME HOME
SO I CAN CELEBRATE?
326
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:23,490
I'M UP FOR THAT.
LET'S HIT EL POLLO LOCO.
327
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,190
I MEAN WITH BECCA.
328
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,420
HER TOO. THE CRAZY CHICKEN
DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE.
329
00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:29,390
OH, RIGHT,
IT'S WEDNESDAY NIGHT.
330
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:32,030
OKAY, WELL, I CAN CELEBRATE
SOME OTHER TIME.
331
00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:33,630
YOU WILL NOT
STAY HOME ALONE
332
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,500
ON THE NIGHT
OF YOUR BIG VICTORY.
333
00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:37,600
YOU'D SWAP NIGHTS
WITH ME?
334
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:40,240
SADLY, NO, BUT I WILL REPEAT
MY ORIGINAL OFFER
335
00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:42,510
THAT ALL THREE OF US
THROW DOWN THE CARBS TOGETHER --
336
00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:44,140
MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD.
337
00:13:44,170 --> 00:13:46,540
YOU WANTED TO CELEBRATE.
COME ON.
338
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:49,150
NOT WITH YOU.
I WANT TO CELEBRATE
WITH YOU.
339
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:50,450
INVITE ME OVER.
340
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:51,880
NO.
341
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,550
INVITE ME OVER.
I WILL COOK FOR YOU.
342
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:56,650
COOK? YOU?
343
00:13:56,690 --> 00:13:58,120
YES.
344
00:13:58,150 --> 00:14:00,290
I HAVE MY ONE DISH.
345
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,260
NOT THE CHEESE SENSATION.
346
00:14:02,290 --> 00:14:03,990
YES, FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS
OF CHEESES,
347
00:14:04,030 --> 00:14:05,960
INCLUDING CREAM CHEESE,
THE PEOPLE'S CHEESE.
348
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,160
[ LAUGHS ]
349
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,600
DON'T KNOCK THE HAUTE CUISINE
OF LONG ISLAND.
350
00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:13,370
IT'LL BE LIKE OLD TIMES.
YEAH, BUT WHICH ONES?
351
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,040
THE GOOD ONES, LIKE WHEN
WE LIVED ON CHARLES STREET,
352
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:17,310
AMONGST THE GAYS.
353
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:19,240
YOU HATED THAT PLACE.
YEAH, BUT YOU LOVED IT.
354
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,910
JUST LIKE YOU LOVE
FUCKED-UP ARCHITECTURE LIKE THIS
355
00:14:21,950 --> 00:14:24,610
AND DAVID HOCKNEY
AND GIGANTIC FUCKING EARRINGS
356
00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:26,250
AND THE COMPLETE
AND UTTER CLICHé
357
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,080
OF DRIVING WEST ON MULHOLLAND
AT SUNSET.
358
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,590
YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW
THESE THINGS, BUT I DO.
359
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,230
I'M IN, AREN'T I?
360
00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:39,260
[ CHUCKLES ]
361
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:40,930
OH, I'M IN.
362
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:51,040
[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ]
363
00:14:51,070 --> 00:14:53,380
[ MARCY SIGHS ]
364
00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:56,710
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
HOW DO I LOOK?
365
00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:59,420
GOOD.
YOU LOOK GOOD.
366
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:02,020
[ SIGHS ]
367
00:15:02,050 --> 00:15:04,120
YOU THINK
SHE LIKES NUTS?
368
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:06,120
MAYBE WE SHOULD OFFER HER
SOME MIXED NUTS?
369
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,660
I DON'T KNOW.
370
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:10,030
WHAT?
YOU THINK SHE'S ALLERGIC?
371
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,030
HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
372
00:15:12,060 --> 00:15:13,530
I DON'T KNOW.
373
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,130
YOU WORK WITH PEOPLE,
374
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,370
THESE THINGS COME UP
IN CASUAL CONVERSATION.
375
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,570
"NONE FOR ME, THANKS.
I HAVE A NUT ALLERGY."
376
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,370
I'M SORRY. WE DON'T HAVE
THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP.
377
00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:25,240
REALLY, I DON'T KNOW VERY MUCH
ABOUT THIS GIRL.
378
00:15:25,270 --> 00:15:28,110
OTHER THAN YOU THINK
THAT SHE'S FUCKING HOT.
379
00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:30,110
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
RESPOND TO THAT?
380
00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:31,480
WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO SAY?
381
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:33,250
YOU WANT ME TO SAY,
"I LOVE YOU.
382
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,420
THIS IS FUCKING CRAZY.
LET'S NOT DO THIS"?
383
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:38,250
DON'T YELL AT ME, ASSWIPE!
I AM NERVOUS ENOUGH AS IT IS!
384
00:15:38,290 --> 00:15:40,520
YEAH,
AND ISN'T THAT A SIGN?
A SIGN OF WHAT?
385
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,760
THAT WE SHOULDN'T
GO THROUGH WITH THIS.
386
00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:44,560
I MEAN,
LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE.
387
00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:46,560
THIS --
THIS IS PRETTY GREAT, RIGHT?
388
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,130
HOW DO WE KNOW WE'RE GONNA
BE THE SAME AFTERWARDS?
389
00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:50,470
THE SAME?
390
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,400
I THOUGHT THE SAME
WAS THE PROBLEM.
391
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:56,110
WHAT PROBLEM?
THERE'S NO PROBLEM.
392
00:15:56,140 --> 00:15:58,140
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
393
00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:05,210
DO YOU WANT TO GET THAT,
OR SHOULD I?
394
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:07,280
[ SMOKE ALARM BEEPING ]
395
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,460
AAH!
396
00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:20,300
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
397
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,480
YEAH? I'M GONNA BE THERE
IN LIKE FIVE --
398
00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:36,410
OH. HELLO, MIA.
399
00:16:36,450 --> 00:16:38,150
YES.
400
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:39,280
OH, WOW.
401
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,220
WOW. NO, I'M SURE
YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.
402
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,620
THAT JUST -- IT SOUNDS --
403
00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:44,650
IT SOUNDS PRETTY TRAGIC,
ACTUALLY.
404
00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:46,790
QUITE A STORY.
VERY FAMILIAR, TOO.
405
00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:49,760
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I HEARD IT LAST WEEK.
406
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:51,390
CIAO.
407
00:16:51,430 --> 00:16:54,260
AHH.
408
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,220
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BRA?
THAT IS SO CUTE!
409
00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:19,560
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
410
00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:22,830
SORRY. MY BAD.
MOOD KILLER.
411
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,550
YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIST ME
OR ANYTHING, ARE YOU?
412
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,420
BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE
IF I'M READY FOR THAT.
413
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:53,220
MARCE!
414
00:17:53,260 --> 00:17:54,690
WHAT?
415
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,430
UH, A LITTLE LESS TALK
MIGHT BE NICE.
416
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,260
EVERYBODY'S
A FUCKING CRITIC.
417
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:03,200
HEY, HEY. PUT ME IN, COACH.
I'LL BRING IT HOME FOR YOU.
418
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,840
DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD --
I DON'T KNOW --
419
00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:12,180
INCLUDE HIM SOMEHOW?
420
00:18:12,210 --> 00:18:14,480
IT'S YOUR FANTASY.
421
00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:20,520
Charlie: UH, HELLO?
422
00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,190
I'M THINKING.
423
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:25,490
I MEAN, SHIT, I CAN SLEEP
WITH YOU ANY NIGHT OF THE WEEK.
424
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,160
THIS IS NOT HOW THIS
IS SUPPOSED TO BE.
425
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:32,160
IT'S A FANTASY.
IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE AT ALL.
426
00:18:42,910 --> 00:18:44,610
HEY.
THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.
427
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,380
OKAY, SWEETIE.
I GOT TO GO.
428
00:18:46,410 --> 00:18:47,440
WHERE YOU GOING?
429
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,950
MIA'S IN SOME FUCKED-UP
SITUATION WITH HER TEACHER.
430
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:52,180
SHE'S KIND OF DRUNK OR DRUGS --
I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
431
00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:53,880
LOOK, HEY,
I'M GONNA COME WITH YOU.
432
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:57,290
IT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
STAY WITH BECCA.
433
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,590
YOU DON'T KNOW THIS GUY.
434
00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:00,820
HE'S A SEX CRIME
WAITING TO HAPPEN.
435
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:03,290
25 MINUTES AT 300, OKAY?
THROW THAT IN THE OVEN.
436
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:05,260
WHY ARE YOU GOING?
BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
437
00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:07,600
NO, YOU DON'T.
IT'S JUST MIA.
438
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:09,800
LAST I CHECKED, YOU GUYS
WEREN'T BLOOD-RELATED.
439
00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,630
RIGHT.
440
00:19:11,670 --> 00:19:13,570
YOUR MOTHER
NEEDS BACKUP.
NO, I DON'T.
441
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,540
CAN YOU STAY WITH BECCA?
SHE'S BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.
442
00:19:15,570 --> 00:19:18,240
YOU CAN'T HANDLE
THIS GUY ALONE.
443
00:19:18,270 --> 00:19:20,810
HE DOESN'T LOOK IT,
BUT HE'S DANGEROUS.
444
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,880
I THINK HE'S DAN--
JUST LET ME DRIVE.
445
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,810
I'LL DRIVE YOU THERE.
WE'LL GO. WE'LL GO TOGETHER.
446
00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:28,480
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
447
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:03,590
HERE.
DO WITH IT WHAT YOU WILL.
448
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:08,860
OR MAYBE YOU CAN DISH IT OUT
BUT CAN'T TAKE IT.
449
00:20:08,890 --> 00:20:10,560
IS THIS GONNA HURT?
450
00:20:10,590 --> 00:20:12,660
'CAUSE THIS LOOKS LIKE
IT MIGHT HURT.
451
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:14,960
THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT,
ISN'T IT?
452
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,000
I MEAN, HE'S DONE SOME
PRETTY BAD THINGS, THIS GUY.
453
00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:20,370
HE DESERVES TO BE PUNISHED
FOR THEM.
454
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,710
[ GASPS ] AHH!
455
00:20:22,740 --> 00:20:24,470
THINGS LIKE WHAT?
456
00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:27,440
YOU KNOW, THE USUAL.
457
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,850
HAAH!
458
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,380
[ LAUGHING ]
459
00:20:31,410 --> 00:20:33,920
OH, MAN.
I GOT TO GET MY CAMERA.
460
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:38,020
AAH! MOTHERFUCKER!
COCKSUCKER! SHIT! FUCK!
461
00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:40,590
YOU'RE ATTACHED
TO THE FUCKING CHAIN!
462
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:43,330
JUST DON'T MOVE!
GET IT OFF YOUR UNDERWEAR!
463
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:46,900
AAAAH!
464
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,230
FINALLY.
465
00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:53,000
YOU GUYS GOT TO GET THIS FUCKING
JAILBAIT OUT OF MY HOUSE.
466
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,870
MIA, HONEY, IT'S ME.
IT'S KAREN.
467
00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,570
HEY, HEY, WAKE UP.
468
00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:58,440
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS ISN'T JUST ALCOHOL.
469
00:20:58,470 --> 00:20:59,880
SHE'S TAKEN SOMETHING.
470
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:02,810
HEY, MIA. MIA.
MIA, WAKE UP.
471
00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:05,510
HANK, YOU CAME.
472
00:21:05,550 --> 00:21:07,550
WHAT THE FUCK'S
SHE TALKING ABOUT?
473
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:08,650
"YOU CAME"?
474
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,920
I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S CONFUSED.
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.
475
00:21:10,950 --> 00:21:12,860
LOOK AT ME.
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.
476
00:21:12,890 --> 00:21:14,760
ANIMAL,
WHAT'D YOU GIVE HER?
477
00:21:14,790 --> 00:21:17,390
DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED
SOME FUCKING DATE-RAPE DRUG?
478
00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:18,360
VALIUM,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKES.
479
00:21:18,390 --> 00:21:21,360
THE GIRL'S GOT A GODDAMN
RITE AID IN HER PURSE.
480
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,370
Hank:
HOW MANY DID YOU TAKE?
481
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,800
WHAT? 5, 4?
482
00:21:25,830 --> 00:21:27,900
45? 4 OR 5.
483
00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:30,370
SEE? NOBODY'S GONNA OFF
THEMSELVES WITH 4.
484
00:21:30,410 --> 00:21:31,670
IT'S ALL AN ACT.
485
00:21:31,710 --> 00:21:33,640
YOU KNOW
HOW FUCKING POPULAR
486
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,610
THIS SHIT IS
WITH THE YOUNG LADIES?
487
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,010
DO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?
488
00:21:37,050 --> 00:21:40,120
THIS IS SOMEONE'S CHILD HERE,
YOU ASSHOLE!
489
00:21:40,150 --> 00:21:41,620
THEY TRUSTED YOU!
490
00:21:41,650 --> 00:21:44,050
YOU ARE MEANT TO BE
HER TEACHER!
491
00:21:44,090 --> 00:21:46,090
YOU THINK I WANTED SYLVIA PLATH
TO COME OVER HERE
492
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:47,690
AND GO ALL FUCKING
BELL JAR ON ME?
493
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,930
I'M THE ONE
GETTING MANIPULATED HERE.
494
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,760
SHE COMES UP TO ME
AFTER FUCKING DEBATE PRACTICE --
495
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,600
DO YOU WANT ME
TO SMACK YOU?!
496
00:21:54,630 --> 00:21:56,870
OH, SHIT.
497
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:58,970
I BET SHE FEELS
A LOT BETTER NOW.
498
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,610
OH, I SEE TWO.
TWO WHAT?
499
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,110
TWO PILLS. IS THAT
A THIRD ONE THERE?
500
00:22:05,140 --> 00:22:07,010
I SEE SUSHI.
IS THAT A PILL?
501
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,380
AAH!
502
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,150
LET'S GET THE FUCK
OUT OF HERE.
503
00:22:10,180 --> 00:22:12,450
AH, SHIT, MOODY!
504
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,920
NOW I'M
GONNA FUCKING HURL.
505
00:22:14,950 --> 00:22:16,920
[ GROANING ]
506
00:22:16,950 --> 00:22:18,150
FUCK!
507
00:22:18,190 --> 00:22:20,060
[ GROANS ]
508
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:23,560
UH, WHO'S YOUR
PRIMARY CARE GUY AGAIN?
509
00:22:23,590 --> 00:22:25,390
HOW SHOULD I
FUCKING KNOW?
510
00:22:25,430 --> 00:22:27,130
JESUS CHRIST,
YOU THINK THESE PEOPLE
511
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,430
ARE EVER GONNA GET AROUND
TO SEWING ME UP?
512
00:22:29,470 --> 00:22:31,700
I'M IN CONSIDERABLE
FUCKING PAIN HERE!
513
00:22:31,730 --> 00:22:34,140
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
I SAID IT A THOUSAND TIMES.
514
00:22:34,170 --> 00:22:36,470
YOU KNOW I'M BAD
WITH MECHANICAL THINGS.
515
00:22:36,510 --> 00:22:38,140
TELL THAT
TO MY MISSING NIPPLE.
516
00:22:38,170 --> 00:22:40,610
YOU TOOK OFF
LIKE 12 LAYERS OF SKIN.
517
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,510
I'M SORRY, NIPPLE.
518
00:22:43,550 --> 00:22:47,480
NOW THAT I'VE MAIMED YOU,
WHERE AM I GONNA REST MY HEAD?
519
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,550
THAT WAS, LIKE,
MY FAVORITE SPOT.
520
00:22:50,590 --> 00:22:52,660
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
521
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:56,590
SOME FANTASY, HUH?
522
00:22:56,630 --> 00:22:59,500
HOW THE FUCK
DID WE END UP HERE?
523
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:02,060
ON SOME LEVEL, I THINK
YOU WANT TO PUNISH ME.
524
00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:04,070
I THINK YOU BOTH
WANTED TO PUNISH ME.
525
00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:05,770
FOR WHAT?
526
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,140
SHIT, YOU KNOW -- EVERYTHING.
HUSBAND STUFF.
527
00:23:08,170 --> 00:23:09,640
NOT ME, DICKWAD.
HER.
528
00:23:09,670 --> 00:23:11,640
WHY THE FUCK
WOULD SHE WANT TO PUNISH YOU?
529
00:23:11,670 --> 00:23:13,910
SHE BARELY KNOWS YOU.
WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE CARE?
530
00:23:13,940 --> 00:23:15,610
I'M HER BOSS, OKAY?
531
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,610
I MAKE HER DO
HUMILIATING THINGS ALL DAY.
532
00:23:17,650 --> 00:23:18,950
YOU THINK SHE LIKES THAT?
533
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,180
OW!
534
00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:22,020
WHAT?
535
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,490
YOU LEANED WRONG.
536
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:27,960
I'M SORRY.
537
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:34,160
SHE'S AN INTERESTING GIRL,
THOUGH, THAT ONE.
538
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,430
FANTASTIC ASS.
539
00:23:39,170 --> 00:23:40,940
HOW IS SHE?
540
00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:44,870
OH, EVEN IF SHE'S FINE,
SHE'S GONNA FEEL
541
00:23:44,910 --> 00:23:47,980
LIKE SEVEN DIFFERENT KINDS
OF SHIT TOMORROW.
542
00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:50,010
YOU GONNA TELL BILL?
543
00:23:50,050 --> 00:23:52,650
WELL, YEAH.
I MEAN, I HAVE TO, RIGHT?
544
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,150
WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO KNOW
IF YOUR 16-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
545
00:23:55,180 --> 00:23:57,090
WAS HANGING OUT
WITH SOME CREEPY PERV
546
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,620
WHO'S LIKE
TWICE HER AGE?
547
00:23:58,650 --> 00:24:01,560
THE SITUATION MAY NOT BE
EXACTLY AS IT SEEMS.
548
00:24:01,590 --> 00:24:03,160
OH,
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
549
00:24:03,190 --> 00:24:05,960
YOU'RE ON THE SIDE
OF THE PERVERT, RIGHT?
ALWAYS.
550
00:24:05,990 --> 00:24:08,560
SOMEBODY'S GOT TO STAND UP
FOR THE CREEPY COMMON MAN.
551
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,770
YOU KNOW, THAT SHOULD BE
A LESSON TO YOU, HANK MOODY.
552
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:15,640
TO ME?
A LESSON TO ME? WHY?
553
00:24:15,670 --> 00:24:17,640
WHY DID YOU POINT
YOUR FINGER AT ME?
554
00:24:17,670 --> 00:24:19,810
I'M JUST KIDDING.
IT'S OKAY.
555
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,050
YOU'RE A GREAT DAD.
YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
556
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,850
I MEAN, THAT'S THE SEXIEST
THING ABOUT YOU.
557
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,150
YOU WANT TO SAY GOOD NIGHT
TO BECCA?
558
00:24:30,190 --> 00:24:32,520
MM-HMM. PLEASE.
559
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,290
GO, THEN.
560
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,890
YOU KNOW, YOU DID NEED
MY BACKUP TONIGHT.
561
00:24:36,930 --> 00:24:40,560
YOU MIGHT HAVE KILLED THAT GUY
IF I WASN'T THERE.
562
00:24:55,210 --> 00:24:56,280
DAD?
563
00:24:56,310 --> 00:24:58,080
HEY.
564
00:24:58,110 --> 00:24:59,980
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO,
THERE?
565
00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:02,790
A LITTLE
FALLING-ASLEEP MUSIC?
566
00:25:02,820 --> 00:25:06,860
LITTLE JONI MITCHELL,
"BLOOD ON THE TRACKS"?
567
00:25:06,890 --> 00:25:08,790
DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE.
568
00:25:08,820 --> 00:25:12,800
WOW. YOU REALLY KNOW
HOW TO HURT A GUY.
569
00:25:14,700 --> 00:25:17,300
HEY, UM, I KNOW TONIGHT
570
00:25:17,330 --> 00:25:20,670
KIND OF GOT
A LITTLE RUINED.
571
00:25:20,700 --> 00:25:23,670
IT'S OKAY.
I'M USED TO IT.
572
00:25:23,710 --> 00:25:27,180
YEAH, WELL,
I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU, I SWEAR.
573
00:25:27,210 --> 00:25:29,080
I KNOW.
574
00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:31,150
DO YOU?
575
00:25:31,180 --> 00:25:33,080
SURE.
576
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:36,080
YOU NEVER MEAN
TO LET ME DOWN.
577
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:39,120
BUT YOU DO.
578
00:25:39,150 --> 00:25:42,990
YEAH, I GUESS I DO.
579
00:25:43,030 --> 00:25:45,790
YOU KNOW,
IT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD
580
00:25:45,830 --> 00:25:47,900
TO TALK
ABOUT HAPPY ENDINGS...
581
00:25:47,930 --> 00:25:50,370
BUT IF A PERSON
CAN'T DELIVER,
582
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,700
IF HE KEEPS SCREWING UP,
583
00:25:53,740 --> 00:25:55,900
WELL, EVENTUALLY,
584
00:25:55,940 --> 00:26:00,240
I GUESS YOU KIND OF JUST
HAVE TO SAY, "FUCK YOU."
585
00:26:02,410 --> 00:26:06,080
OR WORDS TO THAT EFFECT.
586
00:26:14,220 --> 00:26:17,160
* WHEN YOU FEEL EMBARRASSED
587
00:26:17,190 --> 00:26:19,190
YOU CAN KEEP THE CHANGE.
588
00:26:19,230 --> 00:26:23,670
* I'LL BE YOUR PRIDE
589
00:26:23,700 --> 00:26:27,800
* WHEN YOU NEED DIRECTIONS
590
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:32,740
* THEN I'LL BE THE GUIDE
591
00:26:32,780 --> 00:26:38,280
* FOR ALL TIME
592
00:26:42,020 --> 00:26:47,960
* FOR ALL TIME
593
00:26:51,790 --> 00:26:54,760
-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com
594
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,800
CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY
SHOWTIME NETWORKS
AND BLIND DECKER PRODUCTIONS
42446
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