All language subtitles for Californication S01E02 Hell-A Woman

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:11,060 PREVIOUSLY ON "CALIFORNICATION"... 2 00:00:11,630 --> 00:00:14,160 SO, HANK. MEREDITH. 3 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,230 YOU'RE A WRITER. A GREAT WRITER. 4 00:00:16,270 --> 00:00:17,530 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST THING IS? 5 00:00:17,570 --> 00:00:18,840 YOU'RE NOT WRITING. 6 00:00:18,870 --> 00:00:20,600 ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH HELL-A MAGAZINE? 7 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:21,810 HELL, NO. 8 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,280 THEY WOULD LIKE YOU TO BLOG FOR THEM. DO YOU HAVE A GUN? 9 00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:28,550 YOU'RE OUT THERE STICKING YOUR DICK IN ANYTHING THAT MOVES. 10 00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:30,580 MY NAME IS HANK. 11 00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:32,120 I KNOW. 12 00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,280 MIA. 13 00:00:36,490 --> 00:00:38,320 WHO DID SHE GO WITH? BILL'S DAUGHTER. 14 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:39,720 I DIDN'T KNOW BILL HAD A DAUGHTER. 15 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:40,790 HOW OLD IS SHE? 16. 16 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:43,560 THIS IS MIA, BILL'S DAUGHTER. AND THIS IS HANK. 17 00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:46,300 Y-YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER? 18 00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:47,300 NO. 19 00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:48,670 I NEED YOU, BABY. NO. 20 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,300 HANK, HANK, I'M GETTING MARRIED. 21 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,310 DON'T MARRY HIM. MARRY ME. 22 00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:56,340 HEY. 23 00:01:00,340 --> 00:01:01,480 BECCA. 24 00:01:01,510 --> 00:01:02,650 I HATE YOU. 25 00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:12,460 [ SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE ] 26 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,670 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? 27 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,300 I'M THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH 28 00:01:24,330 --> 00:01:26,440 I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOATHE THIS CITY. 29 00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:32,140 JUST AS I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. 30 00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:34,540 MEANWHILE, I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A GODDAMN WORD 31 00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:35,810 SINCE WE GOT HERE. 32 00:01:35,850 --> 00:01:37,680 YOU NEED TO RELAX. 33 00:01:37,710 --> 00:01:40,680 I JUST MISS NEW YORK, HONEY. 34 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,850 YOU KNOW, AND I MISS YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL THERE, 35 00:01:44,890 --> 00:01:47,690 IN THAT BIG, THICK HEAD OF YOURS. 36 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,430 COME BACK TO US, HANK. 37 00:01:50,460 --> 00:01:52,430 YOUR GIRLS MISS YOU. 38 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:02,240 [ LAUGHTER ] 39 00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:03,810 Woman: SO, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? 40 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,480 OH. NOBODY. PROFESSIONAL HAZARD. 41 00:02:07,510 --> 00:02:08,510 WHAT DO YOU DO? 42 00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:13,450 I'M A WRITER. NONPRACTICING. 43 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,290 I'VE GOT SOMETHING YOU COULD READ. 44 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,250 YEAH? 45 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,230 OH. I THINK YOU HAVE POTENTIAL. 46 00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:30,560 [ DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE ] 47 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:32,500 [ KNOCKS ON DOOR ] 48 00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:35,000 HANK. BOB. 49 00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:36,430 BILL. 50 00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:37,430 REALLY? 51 00:03:37,470 --> 00:03:38,770 BECCA DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOU. 52 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,040 YOU LOOKING FOR A COCK PUNCH? LET ME TALK TO HER. 53 00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:43,340 TRUST ME, AS THE FATHER OF A TEENAGE DAUGHTER, 54 00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:45,380 JUST GIVE HER SOME SPACE. SHE'LL COME AROUND. 55 00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:46,440 SHIT. 56 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,350 YOU KNOW SOMETHING -- BILL, IS IT? 57 00:03:48,380 --> 00:03:49,580 YEP. STILL BILL. 58 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:51,520 WELL, I APPRECIATE THE PARENTING ADVICE, 59 00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:52,550 BUT MAYBE -- JUST MAYBE -- 60 00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:54,920 GIVING THEM TOO MUCH SPACE IS NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 61 00:03:54,950 --> 00:03:57,790 MAYBE TOO MUCH SPACE IS ACTUALLY THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM. 62 00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:58,690 REBECCA? HANK, PLEASE. 63 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,960 MY DAUGHTER IS 16, AND SHE'S AN ANGEL. 64 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,930 CLEARLY I'M DOING SOMETHING RIGHT. 65 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,890 OH, YOU POOR BASTARD. EXCUSE ME? 66 00:04:04,930 --> 00:04:06,360 HOMO SAYS WHAT? WHAT? 67 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:07,830 GOTCHA. [ LAUGHS ] 68 00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:11,030 WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? 69 00:04:11,070 --> 00:04:12,400 OH, YOU LIKE IT? 70 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:13,940 I COULD'VE BOUGHT A CAR INSTEAD. 71 00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:15,840 I THINK YOU SHOULD STILL BUY THE CAR 72 00:04:15,870 --> 00:04:17,970 AND THEN RUN OVER WHOEVER CREATED THAT TURD. 73 00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:20,840 EVERYTHING OKAY HERE, BOYS? 74 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:21,780 IT'S ALL GOOD. 75 00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:24,780 IT'S ALL GOOD? THAT'S KIND OF A HIP LINGO. 76 00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:27,450 "IT'S ALL GOOD. IT'S ALL GOOD." 77 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,590 YEAH, THAT'S -- THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY, THE KIDS. 78 00:04:29,620 --> 00:04:31,050 I STILL HATE YOU. 79 00:04:31,090 --> 00:04:32,460 NATURALLY. 80 00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:34,390 BUT I DO WANT TO SEE YOUR MOVIE. 81 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:37,530 IT'S MY BOOK. IT'S NOT MY MOVIE. 82 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,360 NOT MY PROBLEM. I LIKE YOUR MOVIE. 83 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,530 OH, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE, HONEY? 84 00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:45,540 BECAUSE IT PROVES YOU'RE NOT THE ASSHOLE THEY SAY YOU ARE. 85 00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:48,840 [ WHISTLES ] 86 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,670 CURSING WILL COST YOU. 87 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,980 [ SNIFFS ] 88 00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:57,110 NOW WHO SAYS I'M AN ASSHOLE? 89 00:04:57,150 --> 00:04:58,950 Karen: CAN WE SWAP NIGHTS THIS WEEKEND? 90 00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:00,850 WE'RE HAVING SOME PEOPLE OVER ON SATURDAY, 91 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,550 AND I'D LOVE FOR BECCA TO BE THERE. 92 00:05:02,590 --> 00:05:04,520 UNCLE CHARLIE AND AUNT MARCY. 93 00:05:04,550 --> 00:05:05,420 THANK YOU, SWEETIE. 94 00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:07,860 DAD SHOULD COME. THEY'RE HIS FRIENDS, TOO. 95 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,460 AND UNCLE CHARLIE'S HIS AGENT. 96 00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:12,460 MAYBE HE HAS AN OFFER FOR HIM. 97 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:15,130 YOU'RE WELCOME TO COME, HANK. 98 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,400 ABSOLUTELY. HEY, BRING A DATE. 99 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,970 HMM? 100 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,100 BRING A DATE. 101 00:05:21,140 --> 00:05:22,140 EARBUDS. 102 00:05:22,170 --> 00:05:24,670 [ MUSIC PLAYS ] 103 00:05:24,710 --> 00:05:27,540 FIRST OF ALL, YOU COULD NOT HANDLE ME HITTING IT OFF 104 00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:29,610 WITH SOMEBODY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. 105 00:05:29,650 --> 00:05:31,980 OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT COULD BE VERY PAINFUL. 106 00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:33,920 BUT I THINK I'LL GET THROUGH IT. 107 00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:36,120 OKAY, SO I TAKE THIS TO MEAN THE ANSWER IS NO, 108 00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:38,050 THAT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MARRY ME. 109 00:05:38,090 --> 00:05:39,290 HANK, I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE. 110 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,990 DID YOU EVER STOP AND THINK THAT IT MIGHT BE NICE FOR BECCA 111 00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:43,730 TO SEE US ALL GET ALONG FOR A CHANGE? 112 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,430 YES, AND IT MIGHT BE NICE IF I COULD FELLATE MYSELF 113 00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:48,000 WHILE FARTING THE WHITE ALBUM, 114 00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:50,000 BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO QUITE MASTER THAT YET. 115 00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:51,970 IS HE COMING? 116 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,400 ABSOLUTELY. WHAT CAN I BRING, BOB? 117 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,840 BILL. UH, BILLY BOB. WHATEVER THE FUCK -- 118 00:05:57,870 --> 00:05:59,840 THAT'S NOT A "FUCK," BECCA. 119 00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:10,890 YOUR ASSISTANT MAKES ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF IN A BAD PLACE. 120 00:06:12,490 --> 00:06:13,920 THAT'S NICE. 121 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,860 MY ASSISTANT MAKES ME WANT TO HANG MYSELF. 122 00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:17,560 WHILE MASTURBATING? 123 00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:18,860 ARE YOU RETARDED OR SOMETHING? 124 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,470 FUNKY BACK TAT ON THE SMALL OF THE BACK. 125 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,470 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. NO. 126 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,970 SHE LIKES IT IN THE POOPER. 127 00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:26,940 REALLY? 128 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,470 I HAVE NO IDEA. I JUST WANTED TO SAY "POOPER." 129 00:06:29,510 --> 00:06:31,010 I HAVE FOUND THAT THE BACK TAT 130 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,140 IS A WATERMARK OF THE PROMISCUOUS, THOUGH. 131 00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:35,610 DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT SHE'S THE WORLD'S WORST ASSISTANT. 132 00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:37,710 SHE DROPS CALLS, SHE LOSES MANUSCRIPTS, 133 00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:40,050 SHE CAN'T EVEN GET MY FUCKING MACCHIATO RIGHT. 134 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,650 BUT -- BUT SHE DOES SEEM TO HAVE A NIPPLE RING. 135 00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:43,720 QUITE POSSIBLY TWO. 136 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,460 THERE IS SOMETHING VERY COOL GOING ON IN THAT AREA. 137 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,760 OKAY, OKAY. ENOUGH ABOUT MY ASSISTANT'S NIPPLES. 138 00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:52,830 YOU WANT TO TALK SOME BUSINESS? HOW'S THE NEW BOOK COMING? 139 00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:54,700 NOW, THAT'S A HOSTILE QUESTION. 140 00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:56,970 HANK, YOU HAVE OWED YOUR PUBLISHER A BOOK 141 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,840 SINCE BECCA WAS BREAST-FEEDING. 142 00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:01,140 I REMEMBER BECAUSE I USED TO LIKE TO WATCH KAREN DO THAT. 143 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,040 KISS MY BLACK ASS. 144 00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:06,880 YOU NEED A FUCKING JOB. 145 00:07:06,910 --> 00:07:09,610 WHAT? OKAY. WHAT? WHAT DO YOU GOT? 146 00:07:09,650 --> 00:07:10,810 SHH! 147 00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:12,250 LISTEN. YOU HEAR THAT? 148 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,250 WHAT? 149 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,250 THAT'S THE SOUND OF MY PHONE NOT RINGING FOR YOU. 150 00:07:16,290 --> 00:07:18,620 HANK, YOU HAVE BURNED EVERY BRIDGE I BUILT FOR YOU 151 00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:19,890 WITH MY BARE HANDS. 152 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:20,960 EXCEPT, OF COURSE... 153 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:22,890 NO, DON'T SAY IT. ...HELL-A MAGAZINE. 154 00:07:22,930 --> 00:07:24,730 THEY WANT YOU TO BLOG FOR THEM. 155 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,760 JUST TAKE THE FUCKING MEETING ALREADY! 156 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,230 NO! NO! LET'S ASK DANI CALIFORNIA. 157 00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:32,740 HELL-A MAGAZINE. THOUGHTS? 158 00:07:32,770 --> 00:07:34,970 YOU'D BE PERFECT FOR THEM. 159 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,010 UH-UH-UH. NIPPLE RING? 160 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,540 TWO? 161 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,640 ANYWHERE ELSE? 162 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:44,650 SHE'S GOT A NOSE RING, TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 163 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,250 WHAT? SHE LIKES IT IN THE NOSE? 164 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,620 THAT IS SICK. 165 00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:49,620 [ British accent ] LOOK AROUND. 166 00:07:49,650 --> 00:07:51,020 L.A. NEEDS YOU. 167 00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:52,760 NOW MORE THAN EVER. 168 00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:57,630 YOUR VOICE IS A SHOTGUN BLAST TO ALL THE PRETENTIOUS FUCKS 169 00:07:57,660 --> 00:07:59,830 WHO POLLUTE THIS ONCE-GREAT CITY OF YOURS. 170 00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:03,170 JUST SO YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT AND NEVER WILL BE MY CITY. 171 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,770 USE THE BLOG, HANK. 172 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,970 CHANNEL YOUR RAGE. 173 00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:11,940 YOU'RE A DYING BREED. 174 00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:14,180 YOU'RE A REAL WRITER, A REAL MAN. 175 00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:17,810 YOU'VE GOT HEART, BALLS, AND SWAGGER. 176 00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:20,280 EITHER WAY. [ CHUCKLES ] 177 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,020 COME OVER TO THE DARK SIDE, HANK. 178 00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:26,290 JOIN US AT HELL-A MAGAZINE. 179 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,660 I APPRECIATE THE ENTHUSIASM. I DO. 180 00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:30,630 BUT I JUST -- I DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY. 181 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:32,060 THINK ABOUT IT. 182 00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:35,230 OH, WHERE YOU GOING? I THOUGHT I WAS THE REAL DEAL. 183 00:08:35,260 --> 00:08:37,800 IT'S A SHAME I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP. 184 00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:42,170 WRITE ME SOMETHING, HANK. 185 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,010 GOOD NIGHT. 186 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,080 GOOD NIGHT. 187 00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:58,820 THE AIRPLANE. 188 00:08:58,860 --> 00:09:00,690 OH. 189 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,040 SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 190 00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,810 VERY LITTLE OF SUBSTANCE. 191 00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:18,880 NO. [ LAUGHS ] 192 00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:20,310 MY TITS. 193 00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:21,950 SERIOUSLY. 194 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:27,180 THEY SEEM PRETTY FUCKING GROOVY TO ME. 195 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:29,920 THINK THEY'RE TOO SMALL? TOO SMALL FOR WHAT? 196 00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:31,620 I WANT TO MAKE THEM BIGGER. NO. 197 00:09:31,660 --> 00:09:33,020 THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY ALMOST PERFECT, 198 00:09:33,060 --> 00:09:35,790 IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE TITTY WAY. 199 00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:38,160 WHAT ABOUT MY LIPS? 200 00:09:39,730 --> 00:09:41,970 HIGHLY KISSABLE. 201 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,940 NOT THOSE LIPS. 202 00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:47,740 THESE. 203 00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:49,270 OH. 204 00:09:49,310 --> 00:09:50,770 UM... 205 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,140 UM...WHAT... 206 00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:55,780 WHAT ABOUT THEM? 207 00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:58,380 DO YOU THINK THEY'RE TOO FLAPPY? 208 00:09:58,410 --> 00:09:59,420 W-- FLAPPY. 209 00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:00,420 FLAPPY? 210 00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:04,150 MM-HMM. I WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING THEM FIXED. 211 00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:06,790 VAGINAL REJUVENATION. YOU HEARD ABOUT IT? 212 00:10:06,820 --> 00:10:08,390 GET THEM TRIMMED UP A LITTLE. 213 00:10:08,420 --> 00:10:11,360 THAT WAY THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE DAY-OLD DELI MEAT. 214 00:10:11,390 --> 00:10:13,000 OOH. 215 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,800 I THINK I JUST LOST MY MANHOOD. 216 00:10:15,830 --> 00:10:18,070 AND GOT HUNGRY AT THE SAME TIME. [ LAUGHS ] 217 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,070 I CAN HELP YOU FIND THAT. 218 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,710 YOU CAN TRY. 219 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,890 HEY, THIS IS YOU. 220 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,190 OH. I THOUGHT YOU RECOGNIZED ME. 221 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,190 I'M NOT A BIG PORN GUY, ACTUALLY. 222 00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:42,930 [ BABY CRYING ] AND WHO MIGHT THAT BE? 223 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,060 OH, THAT'S MY DAUGHTER. 224 00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:47,060 DO YOU NEED TO GO... SEE TO HER? 225 00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:49,200 IT'S OKAY. SHE'LL QUIET DOWN. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 226 00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:53,470 [ CRYING CONTINUES ] 227 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,340 GO BE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. 228 00:10:58,070 --> 00:11:01,340 I'M GONNA HAVE TO CONFISCATE THIS THING FOR FURTHER STUDY. 229 00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:19,960 * L.A. WOMAN 230 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:20,830 PIECE OF SHIT. 231 00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:22,800 * L.A. WOMAN 232 00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:25,230 * L.A. WOMAN 233 00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:28,340 HELL-A MAGAZINE BLOG NUMBER ONE. 234 00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:31,070 HANK HATES YOU ALL. 235 00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:32,940 A FEW THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN MY TRAVELS 236 00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:35,410 THROUGH THIS CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LIFE -- 237 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,810 ONE -- A MORNING OF AWKWARDNESS 238 00:11:37,850 --> 00:11:40,050 IS FAR BETTER THAN A NIGHT OF LONELINESS. 239 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,520 TWO -- I PROBABLY WON'T GO DOWN IN HISTORY, 240 00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:46,060 BUT I WILL GO DOWN ON YOUR SISTER. 241 00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:48,020 AND THREE -- WHILE I'M DOWN THERE, 242 00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:51,230 IT MIGHT BE NICE TO SEE A HINT OF PUBIS. 243 00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:54,060 I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A HUGE '70s PLAYBOY BUSH OR ANYTHING, 244 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:56,000 JUST SOMETHING THAT REMINDS ME 245 00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:59,300 THAT I'M PERFORMING CUNNILINGUS ON AN ADULT. 246 00:11:59,340 --> 00:12:02,110 BUT I GUESS THE LARGER QUESTION IS, 247 00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:04,470 WHY IS THE CITY OF ANGELS SO HELL-BENT 248 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:07,240 ON DESTROYING ITS FEMALE POPULATION? 249 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,350 * L.A. WOMAN 250 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:13,180 * GOT TO KEEP ON RISING 251 00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:15,990 * L.A. WOMAN 252 00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:18,820 * L.A. WOMAN 253 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:20,890 * L.A. WOMAN 254 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,430 * GOT TO KEEP ON RISING 255 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:31,170 JESUS H. CHRIST. 256 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,440 NOPE. JUST LITTLE OLD ME. 257 00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:41,010 ARE YOU OKAY? YOU LOOK A LITTLE PALE. 258 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,210 YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK, ARE YOU? 259 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,950 YOU ARE GETTING ON IN YEARS. 260 00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:46,350 JUST BECAUSE I'M OLDER THAN YOU 261 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,350 DOESN'T NECESSARILY MAKE ME OLD. 262 00:12:48,380 --> 00:12:50,420 WELL, I AM 16, YOU KNOW. 263 00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:51,960 SO I'VE BEEN TOLD. 264 00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:54,360 WHAT'S THE WORD FOR THAT AGAIN? 265 00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:57,090 OH, YEAH. IT'S STATUTORY RAPE. 266 00:12:57,130 --> 00:12:58,830 THAT'S TWO WORDS. 267 00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,500 HI, DADDY. 268 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:03,030 HONEY, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, OKAY? 269 00:13:03,070 --> 00:13:04,130 WE HAVE COMPANY. 270 00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:07,170 WELL, I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING HE HASN'T SEEN BEFORE. 271 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,470 HANK. 272 00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:11,310 TIM. 273 00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,480 THANKS FOR COMING. 274 00:13:12,510 --> 00:13:14,110 THANKS FOR HAVING ME. 275 00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:14,810 IT'S MY PLEASURE. 276 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,110 OH, THE PLEASURE IS ALL MINE. 277 00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:20,080 I THINK THIS IS, UM... 278 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,220 AN IMPORTANT FIRST STEP WE'RE TAKING HERE. 279 00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:24,850 REALLY? WHAT STEP IS THAT? 280 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:26,890 THE ONE WHERE I SIT BACK AND WATCH 281 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,290 AS YOU TRY TO STEAL MY FAMILY OUT FROM UNDER ME? 282 00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:31,490 IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 283 00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:33,360 GAME ON, BROHEME. 284 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,900 HEY. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 285 00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:37,570 I DIDN'T. IT'S FOR ME. 286 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,340 SORRY ABOUT THAT. 287 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,870 HANK, SONJA. 288 00:13:42,910 --> 00:13:44,340 SONJA, HANK. 289 00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:46,510 HI. I LOVE YOUR WRITING. 290 00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:49,110 AND I LOVE YOU. 291 00:13:49,150 --> 00:13:50,350 I READ YOUR ADAPTATION 292 00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:52,080 WAY BACK WHEN SODERBERGH WAS GONNA DO IT. 293 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,150 I FUCKING LOVED IT. 294 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:55,020 HEY, MY SALAD DAYS. 295 00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:57,390 YOU AND I ARE GONNA GET ALONG JUST FINE. 296 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,490 I'M SORRY. HONEY? 297 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,220 CAN I BORROW THE MISSUS FOR A MOMENT? 298 00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:01,220 YEAH. 299 00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:03,030 CAN I TALK TO YOU? 300 00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:04,630 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? 301 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:06,130 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 302 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,900 YOU'RE TRYING TO SET ME UP WITH THIS WOMAN. 303 00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,930 I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE NICE FOR YOU 304 00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:13,100 TO HAVE A PLAYDATE WITH SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE. 305 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,900 AND IF WE GET ALONG SWIMMINGLY? 306 00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:16,970 HANKIE. 307 00:14:17,010 --> 00:14:19,510 I HAD TO LEAVE YOU, REMEMBER? 308 00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:21,410 I'M NOT HOLDING A TORCH HERE. 309 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,950 AND YOU NEED TO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. 310 00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:27,550 AND YOU NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR EMOTIONS, WOMAN. 311 00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:28,650 [ LAUGHS ] 312 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,890 HE SAYS HE'S NOT USED TO DATING. 313 00:14:42,470 --> 00:14:45,200 [ SIGHS ] NOBODY LIKES YOU. 314 00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:48,040 YOU'RE UGLY AND YOUR MOTHER DRESSES YOU FUNNY. 315 00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:50,910 NOW SMILE, YOU FUCKING DOUCHE. 316 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:55,310 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 317 00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,500 Becca: DAD? 318 00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:21,970 DAD? 319 00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:22,970 YES. 320 00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:24,010 CAN I GET A DOG? 321 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,010 ABSOLUTELY. YES. 322 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,310 AS LONG AS IT POOPS HERE. 323 00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:28,580 WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT, HONEY. 324 00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:32,650 I'M SORRY, HANK. MY APOLOGIES. 325 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,020 THAT'S FINE, BILL. SHE'S VERY SWEET. 326 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:37,550 WELL, I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST. 327 00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:39,160 TO FRIENDS... 328 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:44,360 ...FAMILY, A NEW BEGINNING... 329 00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:45,460 AND A HAPPY ENDING. 330 00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:46,460 WELL SAID, HONEY. 331 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,130 Charlie: I'LL DRINK TO THAT. 332 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,530 CHEERS. 333 00:15:49,570 --> 00:15:50,570 CHEERS, CHEERS. 334 00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:55,100 SO, HOW DID YOU AND BILL MEET? 335 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:58,040 I DON'T THINK THIS IS THE RIGHT SETTING FOR THAT -- 336 00:15:58,070 --> 00:16:01,580 I THINK THIS IS THE PERFECT SETTING FOR THAT STORY. 337 00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:05,380 UM, BILL HIRED KAREN TO REDO HIS PLACE -- THIS PLACE. 338 00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:07,120 AND ALONG THE WAY, THEY TALKED ZEN 339 00:16:07,150 --> 00:16:09,090 AND THE ART OF THE MID-LIFE CRISIS 340 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:13,560 AND [LAUGHS] EVENTUALLY FELL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE. 341 00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:16,260 IN KAREN'S CASE, HEELS OVER HEAD. 342 00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:18,660 AND BILL GOT ANOTHER TROPHY FOR HIS MANTEL, 343 00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:21,700 AND KAREN GOT TO MOVE INTO HER OWN BARBIE DREAM HOUSE. 344 00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:25,670 TALK ABOUT BEING THE ARCHITECT OF YOUR VERY OWN -- 345 00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,440 HAPPY ENDING. 346 00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:30,440 GOT IT. THAT'S A BIT OF AN OVERSIMPLIFICATION, HANK. 347 00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:31,740 BUT I'M NOT SURPRISED. 348 00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:33,080 FLOOR IS ALL YOURS, BILL. 349 00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:35,240 I'LL PASS. THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME. 350 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,310 HOW DID YOU AND KAREN MEET? 351 00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:39,580 MIA, I DON'T THINK... Karen: SOME OTHER TIME, SWEETIE. 352 00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:42,190 WHAT? I'M CURIOUS. ME TOO. 353 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:44,090 KAREN'S NOT A BIG FAN OF MEMORY LANE. 354 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,520 I'LL TELL IT. REBECCA. 355 00:16:45,550 --> 00:16:47,320 MOM WAS GOING TO ART SCHOOL 356 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,630 AND PLAYING BASS IN THIS DOWNTOWN NOISE BAND. 357 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,760 DAD HAD JUST PUBLISHED HIS FIRST NOVEL. 358 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,260 THEY MET CUTE AT -- WHAT WAS IT CALLED AGAIN? 359 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,070 CBGB's. RIGHT. 360 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,140 HE THOUGHT SHE WAS PRETENTIOUS, 361 00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:02,170 AND SHE THOUGHT HE WAS WAY TOO PLEASED WITH HIMSELF. 362 00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:03,310 BUT THEY HAD SEX ANYWAY. 363 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:06,580 IN THE MORNING, HE MADE HER BREAKFAST, 364 00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,710 AND SHE TALKED ABOUT HER PLAN TO MOVE TO SEATTLE 365 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:10,410 SO SHE COULD STALK AND MARRY... 366 00:17:10,450 --> 00:17:12,150 ...CHRIS CORNELL. 367 00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,480 RIGHT. 368 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,820 BUT THEN SHE READ DAD'S WRITING. 369 00:17:15,850 --> 00:17:17,450 AND THAT WAS IT. 370 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,320 NINE MONTHS LATER, I WAS BORN. 371 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,530 THEY NEVER GOT MARRIED, OF COURSE. 372 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,860 BUT THEY STAYED TOGETHER A LONG TIME. 373 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:30,170 A LOT LONGER THAN MOST PEOPLE DO. 374 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,800 [ MAN CLEARS THROAT ] 375 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,140 OH, MY BOYFRIEND'S HERE. I GOT TO GO. 376 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,740 BYE, DADDY. 377 00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:42,110 OH! BYE. 378 00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:44,280 GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. 379 00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:45,510 BYE, HONEY. SO LONG. 380 00:17:45,550 --> 00:17:47,450 I WISH I COULD TELL AN INTERESTING STORY 381 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,720 ABOUT MY ME AND MY EX, 382 00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:52,190 BUT IT'S REALLY JUST L.A. CLICHé NUMBER 4B. 383 00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:53,720 HE WAS SLEEPING WITH HIS ASSISTANT. 384 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,360 OH, SHIT. THAT HAPPENS. 385 00:17:56,390 --> 00:17:58,430 HIS NAME WAS TED. YOUR HUSBAND? 386 00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,260 HIS ASSISTANT. OH. 387 00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,700 AH. 388 00:18:01,730 --> 00:18:03,770 COULD BE WORSE. REALLY? HOW SO? 389 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,270 WELL, INSTEAD OF FINDING OUT YOUR HUSBAND WAS GAY, 390 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,440 YOU COULD'VE FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS A... 391 00:18:10,470 --> 00:18:13,910 SCIENTOLOGIST OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. 392 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:16,850 I'M A SCIENTOLOGIST, HANK. 393 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,510 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 394 00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:20,880 OR A NAZI. 395 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,520 OR AL QAEDA. 396 00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:26,290 KEEP TRYING. 397 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,190 SEE, THIS IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT L.A. IS THE DIVERSITY. 398 00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:31,290 [ LAUGHTER ] 399 00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,660 THE EAGLES! 400 00:18:33,700 --> 00:18:36,300 OH. EAGLES OF DEATH METAL. 401 00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:38,570 COOL. RIGHT ON. 402 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,840 I LIKED HAVING YOU HERE TONIGHT. 403 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,610 WELL, I LIKED BEING HERE TONIGHT. 404 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,170 BULLSHIT. 405 00:18:45,210 --> 00:18:47,710 OH. IT'S A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU. 406 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,580 I HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, SWEETIE, 407 00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:54,420 BUT THAT MOVIE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR OLD MAN. 408 00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:55,550 OF COURSE IT DOES. 409 00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:58,790 YOUR NOVEL, WHILE VERY MUCH AN EXERCISE IN NIHILISM, 410 00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,820 IS FIRMLY ROOTED IN ROMANTICISM. 411 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:03,560 YOU READ THE NOVEL? 412 00:19:03,590 --> 00:19:05,530 OH, JESUS FUCK. 413 00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:08,660 OHH. 414 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:10,530 MM. 415 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,900 YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN, YOU KNOW. 416 00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:15,870 WHERE'D YOU GET THAT OLD CHESTNUT? 417 00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:17,310 BILL. 418 00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:19,380 I WAS WEARING MY CRADLE OF FILTH T-SHIRT. 419 00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:21,810 THE ONE THAT SAYS "JESUS WAS A C-WORD" ON THE BACK. 420 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,910 THAT'S MY GIRL. 421 00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:28,750 BUT I DO PRAY SOMETIMES. SORT OF. 422 00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:30,490 WHAT DO YOU PRAY FOR? 423 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,690 THAT YOU AND MOM WORK OUT YOUR SHIT 424 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,560 AND WE MOVE BACK TO NEW YORK. 425 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:38,330 UH, NO, HONEY. 426 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,500 YOU DON'T OWE ME ANYTHING FOR THAT ONE. 427 00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:43,970 DAD? YEAH? 428 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,770 ARE YOU OKAY? 429 00:19:50,340 --> 00:19:52,240 NO. 430 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,710 BUT I'M WORKING ON IT. 431 00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:58,880 CAN I GET A DOG? 432 00:19:58,910 --> 00:20:01,680 OH, YOU'RE GOOD. 433 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,420 YOU'RE GOOD. 434 00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:04,520 [ LAUGHS ] 435 00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:08,490 [ WOMAN COUGHING ] 436 00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:11,760 OH. 437 00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,360 SON-JA. 438 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,560 HEY, LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT BEFORE -- WHAT I SAID. 439 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,530 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT HALF THE TIME. 440 00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:19,840 ASK ANYBODY. THEY'LL TELL YOU. 441 00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:21,440 NO WORRIES. NO WORRIES. 442 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,310 [ SNIFFING ] 443 00:20:23,340 --> 00:20:25,540 YOU WANT -- YOU WANT TO -- YOU WANT TO GET FUCKED UP? 444 00:20:25,570 --> 00:20:26,780 OH. 445 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,420 WHY ARE YOU SO SMILEY? 446 00:20:35,450 --> 00:20:37,450 THERE'S NOTHING QUITE LIKE GETTING STONED 447 00:20:37,490 --> 00:20:40,420 ON THE VERY BED THAT YOUR EX-DOMESTIC PARTNER SHARES 448 00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:42,730 WITH HER FIANCé. 449 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,290 IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS. 450 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,590 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 451 00:20:45,630 --> 00:20:48,500 COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 452 00:20:48,530 --> 00:20:50,030 ABSOLUTELY. 453 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,440 TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. 454 00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:02,510 [ COUGHS ] 455 00:21:02,550 --> 00:21:03,750 HONESTLY? 456 00:21:03,780 --> 00:21:06,480 YEAH. HONESTLY. 457 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,450 I'M, UH, FORTY-SOMETHING YEARS OLD. 458 00:21:09,490 --> 00:21:10,790 I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY GAMES. 459 00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:12,320 I NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH. 460 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,600 WELL, YOUR BREASTS ARE OBVIOUSLY REAL. 461 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:25,630 AND, UM, YOU HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF PUBIC HAIR, 462 00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:28,600 WHICH IS REALLY NICE. 463 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:32,680 AND, UM, THERE'S NO EVIDENCE OF VAGINAL REJUVENATION. 464 00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:36,710 I'D SAY ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT YOU WORSHIP A SPACE ALIEN, 465 00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:39,050 YOU JUST MIGHT BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE SEEN 466 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,850 IN A LONG, LONG TIME. 467 00:21:43,090 --> 00:21:45,350 THANK YOU. 468 00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:47,920 IT'S MY PLEASURE. 469 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,460 WOULD YOU DO ME ANOTHER FAVOR? 470 00:21:51,490 --> 00:21:52,600 YEAH. 471 00:21:52,630 --> 00:21:54,800 WOULD YOU FUCK ME? 472 00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:58,130 MY HUSBAND RECENTLY LEFT ME FOR A GUY NAMED TED, 473 00:21:58,170 --> 00:22:00,570 AND RIGHT NOW ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET FUCKED STUPID 474 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,070 BY A GUY WHO ACTUALLY LIKES WOMEN. 475 00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:04,710 IF THAT'S OKAY WITH YOU. 476 00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:07,480 WELL, I'D BE LYING IF I SAID I NEVER WONDERED 477 00:22:07,510 --> 00:22:10,710 WHAT IT MIGHT BE LIKE TO VIOLATE A SCIENTOLOGIST. 478 00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:15,650 YOU MUST BE LOOKING LIKE ART GARFUNKEL DOWN THERE LATELY. 479 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,720 OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE OBSESSED. 480 00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:21,620 WELL, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN FOR A WAX IN MONTHS. 481 00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:24,830 SO EITHER YOU'RE TAKING YOUR LADY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE 482 00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:27,600 OR YOU'RE SPORTING A GINORMOUS HIPPIE BUSH. 483 00:22:27,630 --> 00:22:28,660 I HATE THAT SHIT. 484 00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:30,800 I JUST CAME TO KEEP YOU IN BUSINESS. 485 00:22:30,830 --> 00:22:32,870 OH! 486 00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:36,140 AND I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND HAIR-FREE. 487 00:22:36,170 --> 00:22:38,740 WELL, I AM HAPPY. 488 00:22:38,770 --> 00:22:41,080 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 489 00:22:42,950 --> 00:22:45,880 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT MAKING A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL 490 00:22:45,910 --> 00:22:47,980 THAT YOUR ASS CAN'T CASH? 491 00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:50,390 WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 492 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,890 WHAT? 493 00:22:55,860 --> 00:22:57,460 WHAT? 494 00:22:57,490 --> 00:23:00,060 ARE YOU TOTALLY SERIOUS ABOUT MARRYING THIS GUY? 495 00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:01,100 YES. 496 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:02,600 WHY? 497 00:23:02,630 --> 00:23:04,700 I LOVE HIM. HE LOVES ME. 498 00:23:04,730 --> 00:23:06,200 HE'S GREAT WITH BECCA. 499 00:23:06,230 --> 00:23:08,040 I MEAN, WHAT ELSE IS THERE? 500 00:23:08,070 --> 00:23:09,940 WHAT ABOUT HANK? 501 00:23:09,970 --> 00:23:12,010 WHAT ABOUT HIM? 502 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,210 HE LOVES YOU. 503 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,610 HE'S TRYING TO GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER. 504 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,880 HE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER 505 00:23:17,910 --> 00:23:20,020 SINCE THE DAY WE FIRST MET. 506 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,890 AND THE SEX WITH BILL? 507 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:25,420 IS IT GOOD? 508 00:23:27,790 --> 00:23:30,160 YEAH. IT'S DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW? 509 00:23:31,590 --> 00:23:32,530 COME ON. 510 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,900 [ SIGHS ] 511 00:23:34,930 --> 00:23:36,830 I WANT TO SHOW YOU MY HOUSE. 512 00:23:36,870 --> 00:23:38,070 OH, MY GOD. 513 00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:41,770 MY HOUSE IS MY ART. 514 00:23:43,670 --> 00:23:45,940 I DON'T THINK TOM AND KATIE WOULD APPROVE 515 00:23:45,970 --> 00:23:47,810 OF WHAT WE'RE DOING RIGHT NOW. 516 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,480 OH, GOD. SHUT UP AND FUCK ME ALREADY. 517 00:23:49,510 --> 00:23:50,910 ARE YOU CLEAR YET? 518 00:23:50,950 --> 00:23:53,180 SHUT UP AND FUCK ME. 519 00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:55,780 YOU ARE ONE KINKY THETAN. 520 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,630 OH! AAH! 521 00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:06,930 ARE YOU OKAY? 522 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,200 [ GROANS ] 523 00:24:15,270 --> 00:24:17,770 OH. OKAY. 524 00:24:17,810 --> 00:24:19,470 RIGHT. 525 00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:30,890 [ GASPS ] 526 00:24:32,290 --> 00:24:34,160 OH, GOD. 527 00:24:34,190 --> 00:24:36,660 [ COUGHS ] 528 00:24:36,690 --> 00:24:37,890 OH... 529 00:24:43,170 --> 00:24:45,170 Bill: MY PAINTING. 530 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,100 IT'S ALL GOOD. WE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL. 531 00:24:48,140 --> 00:24:51,810 [ LAUGHS ] 532 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,640 IT'S ALL GOOD. 533 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,780 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 534 00:24:55,810 --> 00:24:58,050 OKAY. WE'RE SO HIGH! 535 00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,820 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 536 00:25:12,330 --> 00:25:15,560 Mia: YOU LOOK LIKE ASS. 537 00:25:16,670 --> 00:25:18,670 DID WE JUST HAVE SEX? 538 00:25:22,910 --> 00:25:24,710 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? 539 00:25:24,740 --> 00:25:27,540 ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? 540 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:33,580 WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER NIGHT WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 541 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,790 AND WHY IS THAT? 542 00:25:36,820 --> 00:25:39,290 BECAUSE IT'S SICK AND WRONG. 543 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,920 WELL, MAYBE I'M IN THE MINORITY HERE, 544 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:45,190 BUT I JUST DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING SICK AND WRONG 545 00:25:45,230 --> 00:25:47,060 ABOUT A LITTLE FUCKING AND PUNCHING 546 00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:49,030 BETWEEN CONSENTING ADULTS. 547 00:25:49,060 --> 00:25:52,130 YOU'RE NOT AN ADULT, FOR ONE. 548 00:25:52,170 --> 00:25:54,740 YOU DIRTY OLD MAN. 549 00:25:54,770 --> 00:25:56,670 [ DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE ] 550 00:25:56,710 --> 00:25:59,910 WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO GET OUT MY VIBRATOR 551 00:25:59,940 --> 00:26:01,610 AND READ YOUR BLOG. 552 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,080 THAT'S COOL. THEN IT WON'T BE A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. 553 00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:07,650 I THOUGHT IT WAS COOL. 554 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:11,620 I WAS LIKE, "HEY, I TOTALLY FUCKED THAT GUY." 555 00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:17,030 MUST BE WEIRD, THOUGH. 556 00:26:17,060 --> 00:26:18,130 WHAT? 557 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,900 BECOMING THE EMPLOYEE OF A MAN YOU SO CLEARLY HATE. 558 00:26:21,930 --> 00:26:23,900 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 559 00:26:23,930 --> 00:26:24,900 [ LAUGHS ] 560 00:26:24,930 --> 00:26:28,970 MY FATHER. HE OWNS HELL-A MAGAZINE. 561 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,910 MIA, IS THAT YOU? 562 00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:34,180 COMING, DADDY. 563 00:26:34,210 --> 00:26:38,910 * AND THOUGH HE'S NAKED THROUGH THE DAY * 564 00:26:38,950 --> 00:26:43,320 * THERE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE A BETTER WAY * 565 00:26:43,350 --> 00:26:47,790 * IT'LL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE ELSE'S WAY * 566 00:26:47,820 --> 00:26:50,230 ALWAYS A PLEASURE. 567 00:26:51,890 --> 00:26:54,660 * CLOSER TO THE EDGE 568 00:26:54,700 --> 00:27:00,800 * IT'S SO MUCH FURTHER THAN WE GET WITHOUT A CAR * 569 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:06,940 * AND EVERYONE'S LOOKING FOR SOMEPLACE * 570 00:27:06,980 --> 00:27:13,320 * THEY'RE JUST KILLING MORE TIME WITHIN THE SPACE * 571 00:27:13,350 --> 00:27:19,890 * SOME NIGHTS I WISH THAT SUN WOULD * 572 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:23,290 * NEVER SHOW ITS FACE 573 00:27:26,090 --> 00:27:30,700 * YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL AND NICE 574 00:27:30,730 --> 00:27:32,970 [ ENGINES ROARING ] 575 00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:38,410 * NO PICTURE'S EVER GOING TO 576 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:44,450 * AND EVERYONE'S LOOKING FOR SOME SPACE * 577 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:51,250 * THEY'RE JUST KILLING TIME ALL OVER THIS PLACE * 578 00:27:51,290 --> 00:27:57,730 * SOME NIGHTS I WISH THAT SUN WOULD * 579 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,800 * NEVER SHOW ITS FACE 580 00:28:01,830 --> 00:28:09,200 * IT ONLY TAKES THE LIGHT OF DAY * 581 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:13,240 * TO FACE THE LIGHT OF DAY 582 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,810 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 583 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:14,880 CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY SHOWTIME NETWORKS AND BLIND DECKER PRODUCTIONS 39779

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