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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,480 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:06,960 [MUSIC PLAYING] 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,940 [MUSIC PLAYING] 4 00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:12,920 [MUSIC PLAYING] 5 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:16,400 [MUSIC PLAYING] 6 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,380 [MUSIC PLAYING] 7 00:00:19,380 --> 00:00:22,360 [MUSIC PLAYING] 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:44,860 [LAUGHING] 9 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:48,340 [MUSIC PLAYING] 10 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,820 [MUSIC PLAYING] 11 00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:53,320 Good morning, Carla. 12 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,320 [SCREAMING] 13 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,820 [MUSIC PLAYING] 14 00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:58,820 [GASPING] 15 00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:01,320 Oh my god. 16 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:01,820 That's dear. 17 00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:02,320 Did you see that? 18 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,720 I didn't believe it. 19 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:04,540 Give me that chair. 20 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:05,040 It's mine. 21 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:05,980 I was here first. 22 00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:07,340 I need the lumbar support. 23 00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:08,820 Jack, Bob, what are you doing? 24 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,040 Ah, Darrell. 25 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,200 You're supposed to be dead. 26 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:11,800 Dead? 27 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,540 Kenny announced at the morning meeting. 28 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,460 We observed 45 seconds of silence. 29 00:01:15,460 --> 00:01:17,520 It would have been a minute, but the coffee cart came. 30 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,180 Hey, Captain. 31 00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:20,340 Kenny, did you tell everyone I was dead? 32 00:01:20,340 --> 00:01:21,960 Did I say Darrell? 33 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,500 I meant Larry. 34 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,160 Larry? 35 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,700 He's got a shoe buffer. 36 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,680 How could you make a mistake like that? 37 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,340 I must have been thinking about the Beverly Hill 38 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,740 Billys I watched this morning. 39 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:34,200 It's the one where Jethro wants to be an astronaut. 40 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:35,020 Wait a minute. 41 00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:35,880 Larry's dead? 42 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:36,280 Yeah. 43 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,660 So anyway, Jethro wants to be an astronaut. 44 00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:39,500 How did it happen? 45 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,850 He read in a comic book that outer space is full of 46 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:42,200 moon 47 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:42,700 maidens. 48 00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:43,100 Larry? 49 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,300 No, Jethro. 50 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:45,460 Focus, Captain. 51 00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:48,920 [MUSIC PLAYING] 52 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,120 His heart just went, and he was 29. 53 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,120 He was our age. 54 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,280 Wow. 55 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,240 Darrell, if I died, would you remarry? 56 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,720 [BELL RINGING] 57 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,880 No, you're the one. 58 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,040 Ah. 59 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,120 Anyway, now that we have Zoe, I'm 60 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,520 thinking maybe we should get more life insurance. 61 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,520 Oh, Darrell, I don't even like talking about this. 62 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,120 It's just a precaution. 63 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:17,420 No one's going to die. 64 00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:18,900 Dog, garnet! 65 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:20,060 Ah, stupid. 66 00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:21,500 You're thinking too much, son. 67 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,900 Just let it happen. 68 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:26,420 Steady, time it to your pulse. 69 00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:28,140 Wait for your mother to pass. 70 00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,780 Carl, what the hell are you doing? 71 00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:30,540 Oh, hey, Darrell. 72 00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,740 Just getting ready for our camping trip next week. 73 00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:35,140 You're letting Rodney play with a crossbow? 74 00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:36,300 Oh, he's not playing. 75 00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:37,180 He's practicing. 76 00:02:37,180 --> 00:02:38,940 But that's so dangerous. 77 00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:40,340 You got it backwards. 78 00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:42,380 What's dangerous is not practicing. 79 00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:44,020 Yeah, well, I believe this is yours. 80 00:02:44,020 --> 00:02:46,560 Kids, what did Mr. McPherson just do wrong? 81 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,520 Handed the arrow point first. 82 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:49,560 That's right. 83 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,560 Safety first, not chief. 84 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,480 Shelby, heads up. 85 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:57,960 Hey, that's fine, son. 86 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,760 Shelby's the only real shot out of the three, 87 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,600 but you don't want the others to get discouraged. 88 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,630 My only concern is that my wife and daughter are 89 00:03:06,630 --> 00:03:07,400 provided for 90 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,920 should anything happen to me. 91 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:09,720 God forbid. 92 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:10,800 God forbid. 93 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,590 Well, it sounds like you're describing our platinum 94 00:03:12,590 --> 00:03:13,560 policy. 95 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,420 In the event of your passing, God forbid. 96 00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:16,420 God forbid. 97 00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:19,420 Your wife would be extremely well taken care of. 98 00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:30,420 I'm so sorry for your loss. 99 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:33,020 Ah, Pierre, help me forget. 100 00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:39,260 What else you got? 101 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,580 I think you'll find our bronze policy will more than 102 00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:43,540 adequately cover your basic needs. 103 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:45,790 Now, who will take care of your child should you both 104 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:46,520 pass away? 105 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,280 Both of us. 106 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:48,080 God forbid. 107 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,000 God forbid. 108 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,840 But I'm not going to die. 109 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,200 He is. 110 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,920 Nevertheless, I need to designate a guardian. 111 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:56,760 Wow. 112 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,240 Who would take care of Zoe if we weren't around? 113 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,640 We've never even thought about it. 114 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,920 Well, I guess the logical choice would be my parents. 115 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:04,840 Your parents? 116 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,640 They've had experience raising girls. 117 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,040 Yeah, and look how your sister turned out. 118 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,840 Oh, and your parents could do better? 119 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:10,720 They're very loving. 120 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,120 Try smothering. 121 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,900 We'll get back to you. 122 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:15,460 How about my cousin Earl and his wife? 123 00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:16,900 They're nice, and they like to travel. 124 00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:20,140 Avoiding a subpoena is not liking to travel. 125 00:04:20,140 --> 00:04:21,620 How about my Aunt Mary? 126 00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:23,620 The one who constantly repeats old Saturday night 127 00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:24,780 live catchphrases? 128 00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:26,420 That doesn't make her a bad person. 129 00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:29,180 Hey, Darrell, you one wild and crazy guy. 130 00:04:29,180 --> 00:04:30,540 OK, forget it. 131 00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:32,780 You look marvelous. 132 00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:33,780 I'm Paris. 133 00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:36,580 Shut up. 134 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,700 OK, how about my uncle? 135 00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:39,140 Nope. 136 00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:40,340 I didn't say which one. 137 00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:40,980 Don't matter. 138 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,020 Don't like any of them. 139 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:42,520 Fine. 140 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:43,920 You hate everyone in my family except me. 141 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,200 Don't flatter yourself. 142 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:51,760 I'm sorry. 143 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:52,600 Me too. 144 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,240 Hey, you know, maybe we should look outside our 145 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:54,720 families. 146 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,120 Why don't we each pick two couples, invite them over, 147 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:57,920 and check them out? 148 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:58,760 Like an audition? 149 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:00,680 We'll call it a cocktail party. 150 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,040 I know who I'm going to invite. 151 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,480 I know who I'm going to invite. 152 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,520 But it's not as if this is a competition. 153 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:06,400 Of course not. 154 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,600 Our only concern is Zoe's welfare. 155 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,600 Right. 156 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,500 You're the best man, Lynn. 157 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,980 She will. 158 00:05:14,980 --> 00:05:16,740 Now, Rodney, I don't want you touching 159 00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:17,980 any of this equipment. 160 00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:19,660 OK. 161 00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:21,060 What did I just tell you? 162 00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:22,340 I'm not touching it. 163 00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:23,820 Ask Megan. 164 00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,620 He's not touching it. 165 00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:26,900 Don't push me, Rodney. 166 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,220 What am I doing wrong? 167 00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:30,180 Well, you know exactly what you're doing wrong. 168 00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:33,660 You said don't touch it, and I'm not touching it. 169 00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:35,500 You are sailing for a whaling. 170 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,740 I want to have a baby. 171 00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:37,540 Hi, Melinda. 172 00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:39,060 We're having some people over tonight. 173 00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:40,380 Would you mind babysitting? 174 00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:41,880 I was sure we love Sally. 175 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,600 Can I have a tea party? 176 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,040 That sounds nice. 177 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,560 Daddy, will you come to my tea party? 178 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:48,400 No. 179 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,920 I want you to. 180 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,480 I'm not going to a tea party. 181 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:52,440 I said come. 182 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,240 Megan, I have to get this equipment and-- 183 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:55,040 No! 184 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,360 [LAUGHTER] 185 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,760 What did I tell you about touching this stuff? 186 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,520 I didn't touch it. 187 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,560 Just stick it. 188 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,320 I am going to get my hunting knife, 189 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,160 and then I am going to skin you alive. 190 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,000 Sure you are. 191 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:08,440 I will. 192 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:09,360 Short stop. 193 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:10,460 Oh, don't think I won't. 194 00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:11,460 I'll get it for you. 195 00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:12,420 Don't touch that knife. 196 00:06:12,420 --> 00:06:14,020 I'm not touching it, Megan. 197 00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,460 He's not touching it. 198 00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:17,220 Oh, that's it. 199 00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:18,180 [SIGH] 200 00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:19,780 Poor Carl. 201 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,220 Right now he knows his dad will always 202 00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:23,060 love him one notch more than he wants to kill him. 203 00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:28,340 Here we go. 204 00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:29,340 I'm so excited. 205 00:06:29,340 --> 00:06:30,020 Me too. 206 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,700 Tonight we decide who would take care 207 00:06:31,700 --> 00:06:33,060 of our precious baby daughter. 208 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,100 Now remember, we promise to keep open minds 209 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,340 about each other's candidates. 210 00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:37,940 Absolutely. 211 00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:38,700 Even then, Captain. 212 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:39,600 [THUD] 213 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,520 You're kidding. 214 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,000 Hey, he's my best friend at the office. 215 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,600 He has a good job, and he's a father. 216 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:44,800 He's Kenny. 217 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,920 Wanda, open minds? 218 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:47,640 [SIGH] 219 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,560 You're right. 220 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,360 Hey, McParents. 221 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:51,480 Hey. 222 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,080 You're kidding. 223 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,890 Imagine if you fit a child creatine right out of the 224 00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:57,320 womb. 225 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,820 You could race a super athlete without black market 226 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:00,840 steroids. 227 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,040 Yes. 228 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,200 And I said, never mind the bulls, 229 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,240 I'm more afraid of being trampled by the good people 230 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,000 of Pamplona. 231 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,060 [LAUGHTER] 232 00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:10,580 Isn't that just crazy? 233 00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:13,180 I can't top that story, so I'll just change the 234 00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:13,980 subject. 235 00:07:13,980 --> 00:07:16,500 Have you two ever thought about having kids? 236 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,900 Oh, we definitely want a family. 237 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:19,660 Really? 238 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:21,300 We believe there are four keys to raising 239 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:22,700 a happy, healthy child-- 240 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:25,460 love, encouragement, a little discipline, 241 00:07:25,460 --> 00:07:29,220 and unleashing the personal power within. 242 00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:32,580 Oh, are you guys into that whole Tony Robbins thing? 243 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:33,140 What? 244 00:07:33,140 --> 00:07:33,660 No. 245 00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:35,460 Tony Robbins is a nut. 246 00:07:35,460 --> 00:07:37,940 [LAUGHTER] 247 00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:38,840 We're moonies. 248 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:42,920 Let me freshen these. 249 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:50,920 Can I even have a cookie? 250 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,520 Not until Zoe finishes her tea. 251 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,560 How do we know? 252 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:55,800 It's pretend tea. 253 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,800 Father, you're making a scene. 254 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:06,240 Let me tell you, if this little lady ever got knocked 255 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:06,560 up, 256 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,460 I would be there for her. 257 00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,900 Right, where would we live? 258 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:10,740 I got a place. 259 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,700 Our baby is not sleeping in a car. 260 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,780 I'll get the heater fixed. 261 00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:15,700 We'd have to move in with your parents. 262 00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:18,820 Hey, not until my dad apologizes for interrupting 263 00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,580 us on the couch. 264 00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,300 We never made out on your coach. 265 00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:22,860 Oops. 266 00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:24,860 You cheating sack of-- 267 00:08:24,860 --> 00:08:25,340 Ow. 268 00:08:25,340 --> 00:08:28,500 You're going to be locked in an extra mouth when I-- 269 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,300 I guess they are a little young. 270 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,140 Don't feel bad. 271 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:33,500 My cop choice threw up in the fireplace. 272 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:34,420 I'll go get Zoe. 273 00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:36,420 Hi, Melinda. 274 00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:37,420 Is Zoe-- 275 00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:37,920 Shh. 276 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:43,420 I guess they tired each other out. 277 00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:45,840 I'd be asleep too, but these filterless give me the 278 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:46,420 shakes. 279 00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:48,420 Look at those two. 280 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:50,420 Yeah, promise me you'll never move away. 281 00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:52,420 Rotney and Zoe are so crazy about each other, 282 00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:53,420 they'd be heartbroken. 283 00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:59,420 Melinda, can I talk to you about something? 284 00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:02,420 What, I got gum in my hair again? 285 00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:05,420 This may sound odd, but if something happened to me 286 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:08,170 and Darryl, would you and Carl be willing to take 287 00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:09,420 care of Zoe? 288 00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:10,420 Really? 289 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:11,420 Really. 290 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,420 Oh, wonder, of course. 291 00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:17,420 This is so exciting. 292 00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:18,420 We're like sisters now. 293 00:09:18,420 --> 00:09:20,420 I feel the same way. 294 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,420 And Darryl and Carl are like brothers. 295 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:25,420 Well, um, that's the tricky part. 296 00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:27,420 You see, I haven't run this idea by Darryl yet, 297 00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:30,420 and he and Carl are very different. 298 00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:32,420 They just need to get to know each other better. 299 00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:35,420 Hey, why don't you come with us on our camping trip? 300 00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:37,420 Oh, we wouldn't want to impose. 301 00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,420 What impose with family now? 302 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:41,420 Oh, wonder, it's such a good feeling 303 00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:43,420 knowing you think so highly of me. 304 00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:46,420 But you know what feels even better? 305 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,420 What's that? 306 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,420 Knowing that my kids will have a good home 307 00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:51,420 if something happens to me and Carl. 308 00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:56,420 You got a problem with that, Mom? 309 00:09:56,420 --> 00:09:57,420 Mom? 310 00:09:58,420 --> 00:10:00,420 [music playing] 311 00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:06,420 So Darryl and I would be guardians for your kids? 312 00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:08,420 I assume this worked both ways. 313 00:10:08,420 --> 00:10:10,420 Don't they already have guardians? 314 00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:11,420 We couldn't get anybody till now. 315 00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:13,420 It's not a problem, is it? 316 00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:15,420 No. 317 00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:16,420 Why'd you hesitate? 318 00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:18,420 Choked up with emotion. 319 00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:21,420 Well, I guess I'll go tell Darryl we're going camping. 320 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:24,420 When are you going to tell me he's rotten, he's Godfather? 321 00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:27,420 [music playing] 322 00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:30,420 Darryl, I have something to tell you. 323 00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:33,420 Let's take this one step at a time. 324 00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:35,420 Remember to take the paper in. 325 00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:37,420 Leave different whites on each night 326 00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,420 so burglars will think someone is home. 327 00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:40,420 Clever. 328 00:10:40,420 --> 00:10:42,420 Water all the plants except the cactus. 329 00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:44,010 And if you hear I've killed myself, would you return 330 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:44,420 my videos? 331 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:45,420 Darryl! 332 00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:46,420 [music playing] 333 00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:47,420 Hi. 334 00:10:47,420 --> 00:10:50,420 I know it's time to get done everybody's nerves. 335 00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:52,420 Everybody's nerves. 336 00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:54,420 Everybody's nerves. 337 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,420 I know it's time to get done everybody's nerves. 338 00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:00,420 And this is how it goes. 339 00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:03,420 I know it's time to get done everybody's nerves. 340 00:11:03,420 --> 00:11:04,420 It's a big mistake, Wanda. 341 00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,420 I'll try to have a good attitude. 342 00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:08,850 I'm sorry, but I just don't think Carl would be the 343 00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:10,420 right kind of father for Zoe. 344 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,630 I mean, is he really going to know what to do when it's 345 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:13,420 time for her to pick a college? 346 00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:15,420 I don't know about this, Mel. 347 00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:16,420 They're very nice people. 348 00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,800 Well, is Darryl really going to know what to do when 349 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,420 it's time for Rodney to pick a militia group? 350 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:23,420 [mimics gunfire] 351 00:11:23,420 --> 00:11:25,420 Look at that kid. 352 00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:27,210 I wonder what poor suckers are stuck with the Bitterman 353 00:11:27,210 --> 00:11:29,420 kids of Carl and Melinda kick. 354 00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:31,420 [laughs] 355 00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,540 Look, if we make a good impression on this trip, 356 00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:36,320 there'll be someone to raise our kids if we take the 357 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,420 big dirt nap. 358 00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:39,930 It's a three-for-one deal, Carl, and you're not going 359 00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:40,420 to blow it for me. 360 00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:42,850 You'll feel differently once you get to know him 361 00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:43,420 better. 362 00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,420 Fat chance. 363 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,420 Maybe you're right. 364 00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:47,830 You'll feel differently once you get to know him 365 00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:48,420 better. 366 00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:51,420 Fat chance. Fat chance. 367 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,420 Hey, Dad, you want to see a magic trick? 368 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,420 Do I look like I want to see a magic trick? 369 00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,420 You see this time, I'm going to make it disappear. 370 00:11:58,420 --> 00:11:59,420 Okay, close your eyes. 371 00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:00,420 Close my eyes? 372 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,420 Yeah. 373 00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,420 It's not a magic trick if I close my eyes. 374 00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:04,420 Come on! 375 00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:05,420 No! 376 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,420 Just close your eyes, Carl. 377 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,420 Okay, fine. 378 00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:12,420 What is that idiot doing? 379 00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:17,420 [music] 380 00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:18,420 [laughs] 381 00:12:18,420 --> 00:12:20,420 Thank you, little friends. 382 00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:25,420 Ever see a tent put up before, little man? 383 00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:29,420 Tent's done. 384 00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,420 [sighs] 385 00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,420 You know what is kind of nice to get back to nature? 386 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,420 See? 387 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,420 I'm starving, Carl. 388 00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,420 What do we bring for dinner? 389 00:12:37,420 --> 00:12:38,420 [laughs] 390 00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:39,420 We don't bring dinner, Darrell. 391 00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:40,420 We shoot dinner. 392 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:41,420 [laughs] 393 00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:42,420 No, really. 394 00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:43,420 Really. 395 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:46,420 Whenever we go camping, Carl catches all the food. 396 00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:49,420 I like to keep connected to my basic male essence. 397 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:50,420 Hey, I know. 398 00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:52,420 Why doesn't Darrell go with Carl? 399 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:53,420 Ah. 400 00:12:53,420 --> 00:12:54,420 Oh. 401 00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:55,420 That's a great idea. 402 00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:57,420 It's kind of rough out there. 403 00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:59,740 I'm sure you two are dying to have some guide time 404 00:12:59,740 --> 00:13:00,420 away from us women. 405 00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:01,420 I like women. 406 00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:05,420 Let's go. 407 00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:09,380 You watch, those two are going to come back best 408 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:10,420 friends. 409 00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:11,420 You think so? 410 00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:13,420 I don't know, I just had three wine coolers. 411 00:13:13,420 --> 00:13:15,420 [birds chirping] 412 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:28,420 So, uh, you hunt much? 413 00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:31,420 Nah, I can't see myself ever killing anything. 414 00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:33,420 We don't kill the animals, Darrell. 415 00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,680 We honor them by giving them a place in the great 416 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:36,420 circle of life. 417 00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:37,420 You know what I mean? 418 00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:39,420 Yeah, I saw the Lion King. 419 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,420 So, uh, those boys of yours are quite a handful? 420 00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:45,420 Oh, yeah. 421 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,980 But as Hemingway said, you gotta do four things to be 422 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:48,420 a man. 423 00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:52,420 Father a son, fight a bull, plant a tree, and, uh... 424 00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:54,420 Get drunk and blow your head off? 425 00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:58,420 Uh, Carl, it's starting to get dark. 426 00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,420 Yeah, but look at that. 427 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,420 Hey, Buttercups, Wanda loves those. 428 00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:05,420 Next to the pretty flowers. 429 00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:06,420 It's a fresh deer print. 430 00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:07,420 How can you tell? 431 00:14:07,420 --> 00:14:08,420 The edges are moist. 432 00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:11,420 And unless I miss my guess... 433 00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:14,700 I think I'll pick some of these and take them home to 434 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:15,420 Wanda. 435 00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:16,420 Yeah, you do that. 436 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,690 You know, they say if you hold this flower under 437 00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:19,420 someone's chin 438 00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:21,420 and it turns yellow, it means they like butter. 439 00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:23,420 What flower makes you stop talking? 440 00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:26,420 Oh, there! 441 00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:34,420 You want Birgit's attack, huh? 442 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:36,420 Whichever one you feel like, honoree. 443 00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:37,420 Anything's fine. 444 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,420 You sure you didn't want me to go with them? 445 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:41,420 More chance to bond? 446 00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:42,420 Ugh. 447 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:44,190 If you hadn't invited them, I'd be drinking a cold 448 00:14:44,190 --> 00:14:44,420 one 449 00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:46,420 and you'd be pulling the organs out of a deer. 450 00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:48,420 Our entire evening's ruined. 451 00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:56,420 Well, this looks like a shortcut. 452 00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:57,420 It's science's government property. 453 00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:58,420 I'm a taxpayer. 454 00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,420 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 455 00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:11,420 You'll never get it started that way. 456 00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:12,420 Is that so? 457 00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:13,420 You need an accelerant. 458 00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:14,420 What's that? 459 00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:22,420 Nice shades. 460 00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:23,420 [LAUGHTER] 461 00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:25,420 Wow, you don't even look mad. 462 00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:27,420 He burned off my eyebrows. 463 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:28,420 [GIGGLES] 464 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:34,420 Carl! 465 00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:40,420 Well, I'll be. 466 00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:41,420 What is it? 467 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:43,420 It's an old NORAD missile silo. 468 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,580 They decommission these to pay for the Star Wars 469 00:15:45,580 --> 00:15:46,420 satellites. 470 00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:47,420 I thought they didn't build those. 471 00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:48,420 Don't kid yourself. 472 00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:50,420 You're watching us now. 473 00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:51,420 Deepers. 474 00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:54,420 This was once the home of a Titan II nuclear missile, 475 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,420 a Cold War classic. 476 00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:58,420 Wow, it must have been big. 477 00:15:58,420 --> 00:15:59,420 Oh, yeah. 478 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,420 That mother could hug the ground at 100 feet 479 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:02,420 from here to Stalingrad. 480 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,420 Ooh. 481 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:08,420 20 megaton warhead, 17,000 pounds of thrust. 482 00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:10,420 Take me a rocket, man. 483 00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:11,420 Oh, baby. 484 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:12,420 [GASPS] 485 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:19,420 Self-destruct, armed. 486 00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:21,420 T minus 60 minutes. 487 00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,420 Uh-oh. 488 00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:23,420 What's going on? 489 00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,420 In case of a hostile attack, this thing's designed 490 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,420 to go up in a giant fireball. 491 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,420 My bad. 492 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,420 Where are we going? 493 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,420 We just got a little concerned 494 00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:34,420 that your parents are taking so long. 495 00:16:34,420 --> 00:16:36,420 Maybe they got eaten by monsters. 496 00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:37,420 [SCREAMS] 497 00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:38,420 Rodney, don't frighten your sister. 498 00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,420 I'm sure they just at the nearest airport 499 00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:41,420 buying two tickets to Mexico. 500 00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:42,420 Darryl! 501 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:43,420 Hey. 502 00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:47,420 These tracks are fresh. 503 00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:49,420 You can tell because the edges are moist. 504 00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:50,420 Where'd you learn that? 505 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:51,420 Picked it up. 506 00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:55,420 Self-destruct in T minus one minute and counting. 507 00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:57,420 Carl, I'm scared. 508 00:16:57,420 --> 00:17:03,420 Hey, let's see if you like butter. 509 00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:04,420 What are you doing? 510 00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:05,420 Huh? 511 00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:06,420 [LAUGHS] 512 00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:07,420 Hey, that tickles. 513 00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,420 Oh, someone likes butter. 514 00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:10,420 Where'd you learn that? 515 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,420 I picked it up. 516 00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:12,420 Hello? 517 00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,420 Hello? 518 00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:14,420 Wanda? 519 00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:15,420 Darryl? 520 00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:16,420 What are you doing down there? 521 00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:17,420 We were exploring. 522 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,420 We got trapped. 523 00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:20,420 The whole silos rigged to self-destruct. 524 00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,420 You got dinner! 525 00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:24,420 Self-destruct in 30 seconds. 526 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,420 29, 28, 27-- 527 00:17:28,420 --> 00:17:29,420 It won't budge! 528 00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,420 Ron, save yourself! 529 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:32,420 We have to do something. 530 00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:33,420 What can we do? 531 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,420 This place was designed. 532 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,420 It was standing nuclear assault. 533 00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,420 21, 20-- 534 00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:40,420 Darryl, there's something I haven't told you. 535 00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:44,670 If Carl and Melinda die, I promise that we'd take 536 00:17:44,670 --> 00:17:45,420 their kids. 537 00:17:45,420 --> 00:17:46,420 What? 538 00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:49,420 [MUSIC PLAYING] 539 00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:59,420 Come on! 540 00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:02,420 Three, two, one. 541 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:06,420 Cool. 542 00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:18,060 For a few more seconds, we would have known how this 543 00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:18,420 chicken felt 544 00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:20,420 when they shoved it screaming into the deep fryer. 545 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:21,420 [LAUGHS] 546 00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:24,630 During that countdown, all I could think was that we'd 547 00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:25,420 never see the kids again. 548 00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,420 Yeah, me too. 549 00:18:27,420 --> 00:18:31,420 I got a hand it to you, Darryl. 550 00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:32,420 You showed me something back there. 551 00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:33,420 How'd you do it? 552 00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:34,420 Oh, uh-- 553 00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:37,310 He just thought about what it would mean if you two 554 00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:38,420 were out of our lives. 555 00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:39,420 Aw, that's nice. 556 00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:40,420 It's just sweet, isn't it sweet? 557 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,420 Don't you two go dying on us. 558 00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:45,170 Well, Darryl, you proved yourself to be every inch a 559 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:47,420 man, and I want to honor you. 560 00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:49,420 Honor me, honor me, or kill me, honor me. 561 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:53,420 We would like you to be the guardians of our children. 562 00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:55,420 Thanks, Carl. 563 00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:58,670 And if something happened to me in Wanda, we'd like 564 00:18:58,670 --> 00:18:59,420 you to take care of Zoe. 565 00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:00,420 Really? 566 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,420 We couldn't think of anybody better. 567 00:19:02,420 --> 00:19:03,420 And that's the truth. 568 00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:04,420 To the next generation. 569 00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:06,420 The next generation. 570 00:19:06,420 --> 00:19:08,420 Roddy, stop poking me. 571 00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:09,420 Fast asleep. 572 00:19:09,420 --> 00:19:11,420 Can't control, boss. 573 00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:12,420 Can't control, party. 574 00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:13,420 Ah! 575 00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:14,420 Rodney! 576 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:15,420 Ah. 577 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:18,420 Quit poking your sister. 578 00:19:18,420 --> 00:19:19,420 Dad, is that you? 579 00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:20,420 Don't pretend you were sleeping. 580 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,420 What's wrong with Megan? 581 00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:23,420 You were poking me. 582 00:19:23,420 --> 00:19:24,420 I was. 583 00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,420 We're making the right choice, aren't we? 584 00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:27,420 Absolutely. 585 00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:29,420 But on the ride home, let's wear seatbelts. 586 00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:30,420 We would anyway. 587 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,420 Honest, Dad. 588 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,420 I was asleep. 589 00:19:32,420 --> 00:19:33,420 Ah, you're gonna be sleeping. 590 00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:34,420 And from here on in? 591 00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,420 Separate cars. 592 00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:36,420 Bullseye. 593 00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:37,420 Rodney! 594 00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:40,420 [music playing] 595 00:19:40,420 --> 00:20:03,420 Zoe! 596 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:04,420 Zoe! 597 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,420 Zoe! 598 00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:08,420 [laughing] 599 00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,420 [music playing] 600 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:14,780 [MUSIC PLAYING] 38546

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