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DIGITALLY RESTORED IN 2015
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THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY
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TO KABI
MY WIFE
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| was first up on the jetty!
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That was refreshing.
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lf Papa and Martin put out the nets,
Minus and | will get the milk.
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No, David and Minus can put out the nets
so | can take my wife for a walk.
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Can't Karin and | put out the nets,
while Minus and Martin get the milk?
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| won't do either.
l’ll decide for myself what | want to do.
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| haven't seen you all day, Minus.
Let’s go.
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00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,016
Why should women always decide?
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| say we do as Karin says.
That way we won't lose our dignity.
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Think of the time we'd have saved
if Papa had decided that right off.
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Should we get dressed
before we put out the nets?
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What do you think?
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-Isn't it rather chilly?
-You think?
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00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,326
My bathrobe is thinner than yours.
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-If you're cold —
-Me cold? Not a bit. Are you?
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You're the one who said it was chilly.
There is a bit of a breeze, though.
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We'll harden ourselves.
Virility overrules health, right?
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lf Hemingway could do it, so can we.
Forward march.
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Think there’ll be a thunderstorm?
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No, not tonight.
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| don’t know. Look at those clouds.
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Are you afraid of thunder?
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You have no idea how terrified | am of it.
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When it would roll through the Alps,
God help us.
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-Did you like it there otherwise?
-| was homesick.
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But | wasn't coming home
until I’d finished the novel.
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And now it’s finished?
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Yes, pretty much.
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-How’s your ulcer?
-So-so.
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Can you prescribe something?
It hurts due to the climate change.
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We'll go to the pharmacy tomorrow.
| have errands to run anyway.
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Did you get my last letter?
| sent it on Monday.
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| was in Basel visiting the Waldsteins.
They send their regards.
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Then you didn't get it.
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-| flew here on Wednesday.
-Then you didn’t get it.
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00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,922
-Was it important?
-lt was about Karin.
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| felt | had to write,
even if it disturbed your writing.
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-A cuckoo. Didn't you hear it?
-No.
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-Surely you hear it now.
-Where?
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There.
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When did you wash your ears out last?
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Stop it. Yours are too sensitive.
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It's strange, but since my illness,
my hearing has become so acute.
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00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,701
Maybe it’s the electric-shock therapy.
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00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,505
How did Papa look to you yesterday
when he arrived from Switzerland?
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-How do you mean?
-| thought he looked gray.
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-Tired from the journey, | suppose.
-Probably.
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But he doesn't seem happy.
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-ls Marianne coming here?
-Martin said they broke up.
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Poor Papa. Alone again.
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| never liked Marianne.
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She put on such airs,
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and poor Papa looked so ordinary
next to her.
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And then she sneered at his books.
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Papa has to get good reviews on this book.
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But everybody reads his books.
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He doesn't care about the sales.
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He wants to be a writer.
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What are you laughing at?
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You're so tall and so serious.
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“He wants to be a writer.”
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Don't look so hurt.
| love you, little Minus.
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You've grown so tall.
-Stop being so silly.
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Seventeen and nearly ten feet tall.
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Where's your girlfriend?
-WWho’d want to be with me?
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Don't be mad because | laughed at you.
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Edgar is the only psychiatrist | trust.
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He's treated her all along.
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And?
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When Karin came home
from the hospital last month,
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he and | had a good talk.
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He couldn't guarantee
a permanent recovery.
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And now?
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She seems unusually well.
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She hasn’t been sleeping well.
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Her hearing has become very acute.
That’s about it.
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How much does she know?
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She actually knows the whole truth
about her illness,
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but not that it’s relatively incurable.
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You say “relatively”?
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Edgar has had cases of full recovery,
so there is hope.
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How are things between you?
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Fine, thank you.
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The days pass by as usual.
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lve given my lectures all spring
and examined numerous students.
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l’ve come to realize that | love her
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and that I’m helplessly bound to her,
whatever happens.
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l’ve become the anchor of her existence,
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perhaps her only security.
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| see.
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Well, shall we put out the nets?
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Yes, let’s.
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Hey.
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Be careful now.
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Keep away from me.
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Stop hugging and kissing me.
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Stop sunbathing half-naked.
You disgust me.
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You know very well what | mean.
Women are horrible.
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How they smell and move around,
how they stick out their stomachs,
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how they comb their hair and talk.
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Makes me feel like a skinned rabbit.
-Poor boy.
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Thanks.
| can give myself all the pity | want.
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00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,954
What's wrong?
I've never seen you like this.
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Please don't tell Martin or Papa.
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Don't be silly.
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| wish | could talk to Papa, just once.
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He’s so wrapped up in himself.
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Him too.
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Let's go home.
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-| spilled the milk.
-Careless boy.
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Damn! | hate it when | hurt my finger.
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Put a bandage on it.
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Hello.
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-Martin cut his finger.
-Let’s have a look.
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lll put the milk in the cellar.
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-It looks deep. Put a bandage on it.
-So much fuss over a little finger.
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Isn't it beautiful —
supper by lantern and moonlight?
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00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:44,178
-You're a master chef, Papa.
-It smells wonderful.
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Smell it, Minus.
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You should write cookbooks
instead of novels.
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How shall we sit?
Karin there, and you over there.
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Minus over there, and me here.
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How I’ve longed for this moment.
-Why?
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| was homesick the whole time.
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-For us?
-Yes, even for you.
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Are you staying?
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For this month, at least.
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00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,289
Are you going away again?
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I’m in charge of a tour to Yugoslavia.
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00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,049
In charge of a tour? Why?
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It’s a very flattering offer.
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A cultural delegation.
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Since | know the country, why not?
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Well, cheers, David. Welcome home.
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Thank you.
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00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,312
Cheers, Karin. Cheers, Minus.
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What about your book?
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It'll be finished by then.
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| spoke to the publishers.
I'll turn in the manuscript next week.
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-Will you be away long?
-l’m not sure.
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| may stay a while in Dubrovnik
after the others go home.
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00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,012
| feel like a criminal for some reason.
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00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:18,564
You promised to stay home
after Switzerland, didn’t you?
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| vaguely remember discussing it,
but as for promising —
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Yes, Papa, you promised.
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How unfortunate.
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Yes, it is.
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This was to be a nice evening,
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and instead we’re on the verge of tears.
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Karin.
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And Martin.
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Thanks. You shouldn't have.
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00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:02,903
Minus.
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00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,448
-Can we open them now?
-Yes, do.
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Excuse me. I'm going to get my tobacco.
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These won't even fit my thumbs.
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| have one just like this.
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| bet he didn't think of them
till he got to Stockholm.
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lt was a kind thought.
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-Thank you so much, David.
-Thanks for the lovely gloves.
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We've got a surprise for you too.
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00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,711
-We have to blindfold you.
-Don’t peek.
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00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,214
ll take care of this. You go ahead.
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| can't see a thing.
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It's like walking on clouds.
Whose idea was this?
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00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,096
Minus’s.
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00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,852
Karin and | helped.
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Wait and see.
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This is almost like Shakespeare.
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00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,377
Are you ready?
174
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:35,799
Our play is called 7he Artistic Haunting
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or The Tomb of I//usions.
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Let the play begin.
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It’s midnight in Saint Teresa’s Chapel.
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Here | shall meet my heart's desire.
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Here, by this tomb
redolent with the smell of death.
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00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,824
Someone moved inside. Could it be her?
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ll hide so as not to frighten her.
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Who are you?
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| am the princess of Castile
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who died in childbirth in her 13th year.
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My husband and beloved master,
who was my playmate as a child,
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has turned to other women.
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00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,017
Princess, | love you.
188
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,765
Who are you?
189
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:25,644
| cannot speak to just anybody,
even though | am dead.
190
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,851
Fear not, fair lady.
191
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:32,530
| am ruler of my own kingdom,
small and poor though it may be.
192
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:33,823
lam an artist.
193
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,775
An artist?
194
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:39,158
Yes, Princess.
An artist of the purest kind.
195
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:42,331
A poet without poems,
a painter without paintings —
196
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,504
-Musician.
-A musician without notes.
197
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:53,551
| scorn ready-made art,
the banal result of vulgar effort.
198
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:57,506
My life is my work,
and it is dedicated to my love for you.
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00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,012
Beautiful words, but hard to believe.
200
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:02,309
| beg of you, put me to the test.
201
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:06,014
Listen carefully.
In a moment, | will leave you.
202
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:09,392
When the convent clock strikes 2:00,
203
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:14,402
you shall enter the tomb
and blow out the three candles inside.
204
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:18,572
At that instant,
the doors will close forever
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00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,154
and you shall join me in death.
206
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,740
An easy sacrifice, my princess.
207
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,871
For what is life to a true artist?
208
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:37,712
You thus perfect your work of art
and crown your love.
209
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:42,096
You ennoble your life
and show the skeptics
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00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,514
what a true artist can do.
211
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,514
Farewell, my friend.
212
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,982
Do not fail me.
213
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,031
| face the moment of ultimate perfection.
214
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,030
| tremble with anticipation.
215
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,658
Oblivion shall own me
216
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:06,582
and death alone shall love me.
217
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,286
| will go. Nothing can stop me.
218
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,126
lam waiting.
219
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,299
Ye devils, what am | about to do?
220
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:17,923
Sacrifice my life? For what?
221
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,595
For eternity?
222
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,799
For the perfect work of art? For love?
223
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,760
Have | gone mad?
-| am waiting.
224
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,346
Who shall see my sacrifice? Death.
225
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,899
Who shall gauge the depth of my love?
A ghost.
226
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,978
And who shall thank me? Eternity.
227
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:36,437
lam waiting.
228
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,825
My knees turn to clay,
my whole body trembles,
229
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,027
and my insides run like water.
230
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,158
| cannot enter eternity with —
231
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:47,080
| shall wait no longer.
232
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,289
Well... such is life.
233
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:59,010
| could, of course, write a poem
about my meeting with the princess.
234
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,587
Or paint a picture or compose an opera,
235
00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:05,049
although it would need
a more heroic ending.
236
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,971
Oblivion shall own me...
237
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:14,358
and death alone shall love me.
238
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,356
Not bad.
239
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,317
The cock heralds the dawn.
240
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,866
| shall go home to bed.
241
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,539
That’s all.
242
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,872
Author! Author!
243
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,583
You were fantastic.
244
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:43,638
And you were excellent.
-It was all Minus’s doing.
245
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:46,466
-But | forgot my lines.
-| never noticed.
246
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,740
Let’s clear the table and clean up.
247
00:20:02,827 --> 00:20:05,068
No, I'll do it. It’s too early for bed.
248
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,198
Not on your life.
249
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,907
| like puttering around.
You'd actually be doing me a service.
250
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:14,744
-Well, in that case...
-It’s settled, then.
251
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,125
"ll get cracking right away.
252
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,589
Are you going to bed now?
-Yes.
253
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:22,126
There’s hot water in the kitchen.
254
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,553
You were smart to think ahead.
255
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,098
-The thunderstorm has passed.
-| told you so.
256
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,598
We left the window open.
We'll have mosquitoes in the bedroom.
257
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,429
A few mosquitoes won't hurt you.
258
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,105
Good night, Papa.
259
00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,807
Good night, Karin. Sleep well.
260
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,855
Good night, everybody.
261
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:43,363
-Can you manage?
-l’m fine.
262
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:45,407
-l'll help you.
-l’m fine.
263
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,492
Could you help me?
264
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:47,511
How black they get from your gardening.
265
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,839
It won't come off.
266
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:53,972
You have such kind fingers.
267
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:58,597
But your thumb looks rather stubborn.
268
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:04,066
-Are you sad, Karin?
-Not really.
269
00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:06,563
What are you thinking about?
270
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,366
Sometimes we're so defenseless.
271
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,862
No, | don’t know.
272
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:18,117
Like children cast out
into the wilderness at night.
273
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:22,546
The owls fly past,
watching you with their yellow eyes.
274
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:27,923
You hear the pitter-patter and rustling,
the soughing and sighing,
275
00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:30,880
all the damp noses sniffing at you.
276
00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:34,884
The wolves bare their teeth.
277
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:37,436
Don't worry. You and | have each other.
278
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,939
You look worried.
l’m not so sure about that.
279
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,233
l’m not worried at all.
280
00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:46,403
You say, “There are no wolves.
281
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,651
| see nothing, and there’s no owl either.
282
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:52,735
| don't hear a sound,
and the wolf is only your imagination.”
283
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,786
You have to trust me, Karin.
284
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:56,990
Little Kajsa.
285
00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,666
“Little Kajsa.”
286
00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:01,914
You always say that.
287
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:08,509
Am | so little,
or has the illness made a child of me?
288
00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:10,882
Do | seem strange to you?
289
00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:18,265
-Do you think | speak the truth?
-| don’t know.
290
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:24,441
-Don't you think | love you?
-Yes, | do.
291
00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:27,270
Isn't that enough?
292
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,150
Of course it’s enough.
293
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:32,779
Leave it, or you'll start bleeding.
-l’ll be all right.
294
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:41,458
| have to do some washing tomorrow.
295
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:44,335
Come to bed, Karin.
296
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,790
Did you notice that Papa
took Minus’s play as a personal affront?
297
00:23:48,552 --> 00:23:51,168
He was terribly hurt
but tried not to let on.
298
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,847
And that upset Minus, of course.
299
00:24:05,736 --> 00:24:07,476
Shall we put out the light?
300
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,983
I’m sorry if | upset you.
301
00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:15,568
Dearest child.
302
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:16,948
Forgive me.
303
00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,329
Dearest beloved.
304
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,326
My dear, dear girl.
305
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,750
Sweetheart, | love you.
306
00:24:28,759 --> 00:24:31,125
You couldn't upset me.
307
00:24:31,887 --> 00:24:34,674
You're so kind, and |’m so horrid.
308
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:39,346
Good night.
309
00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:19,984
“She came towards him,
panting with anticipation...
310
00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:23,737
cheeks rosy from the blustering wind.”
311
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:28,125
My God.
312
00:31:58,542 --> 00:32:01,705
They met...
313
00:32:02,838 --> 00:32:06,126
on the beach.
314
00:32:15,183 --> 00:32:16,093
Hello, little Kajsa.
315
00:32:16,184 --> 00:32:19,642
Are you up already?
It can’t be later than 4:00.
316
00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:23,229
-Hello, Papa.
-What is it?
317
00:32:24,901 --> 00:32:26,357
Having trouble?
318
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:30,650
I'm adding the finishing
touches to my book,
319
00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:31,980
which is never much fun.
320
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:35,821
-Read to me.
-Later, when | get the proofs.
321
00:32:37,622 --> 00:32:39,533
How come you're not asleep?
322
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:42,616
some birds made frightening noises
right at sunrise.
323
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:44,667
They woke me up,
324
00:32:44,754 --> 00:32:46,870
and then | didn't dare go back to sleep.
325
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,256
Just a moment.
326
00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:06,139
Just like when | was little.
327
00:33:06,234 --> 00:33:08,099
Now you'll sleep. You'll see.
328
00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:31,130
“They met on the beach.
329
00:33:31,968 --> 00:33:34,084
It was a Clear day.
330
00:33:35,096 --> 00:33:37,132
Autumn was in the air.”
331
00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:42,433
Karin just fell asleep.
332
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:47,059
Want to come and pull in the nets?
333
00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:48,731
lll be right there.
334
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:20,263
Last summer | was as good
at walking on my hands as on my feet.
335
00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:22,932
Now I’m so tall, I’ve lost all balance.
336
00:34:23,019 --> 00:34:24,600
Same here.
337
00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:26,770
You mean Spiritually. | get it.
338
00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:29,347
-Do you write these days?
-Plays.
339
00:34:29,442 --> 00:34:31,524
-May | read some of it?
-No.
340
00:34:31,611 --> 00:34:35,229
Sorry. Nothing personal,
but they’re not very good.
341
00:34:35,323 --> 00:34:36,938
Have you written a lot?
342
00:34:37,033 --> 00:34:39,445
Thirteen plays and an opera this summer.
343
00:34:39,536 --> 00:34:40,696
My goodness.
344
00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:44,029
It comes gushing out of me.
Isn’t it the same for you?
345
00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:45,864
No.
346
00:34:46,543 --> 00:34:49,706
What did you think of our play last night?
Honestly.
347
00:34:49,796 --> 00:34:51,206
It was nice.
348
00:34:51,298 --> 00:34:53,038
| thought it was crap.
349
00:36:42,992 --> 00:36:45,404
“Her illness is incurable...
350
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,788
with periods of temporary improvement.
351
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,371
| have long suspected it,
352
00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:58,250
but the certainty is nevertheless
almost unbearable.
353
00:37:00,510 --> 00:37:04,423
I’m horrified by my curiosity...
354
00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:09,428
by my urge to record its course...
355
00:37:10,687 --> 00:37:15,647
to make an accurate description
of her gradual disintegration...
356
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:19,858
to use her.”
357
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:08,817
Martin, wake up.
How long are you going to sleep?
358
00:38:08,912 --> 00:38:11,995
Time for a swim. Get up now.
359
00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:15,448
-What time is it?
-Almost 10:00.
360
00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:18,250
Heavens, have | slept that long?
361
00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:26,168
-You little imp. It's only 5:00.
-So what?
362
00:38:26,262 --> 00:38:29,629
I’ve been up for ages
and had all kinds of odd experiences,
363
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:31,510
while you just slept.
364
00:38:31,601 --> 00:38:35,719
-Come over here.
-No, get up. We're going for a swim.
365
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:38,180
Papa and Minus are doing the nets.
366
00:38:38,274 --> 00:38:39,559
Come here.
367
00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:46,313
You sleep too much.
368
00:38:46,407 --> 00:38:48,819
That's what makes you such a know-it-all.
369
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:58,908
My little one, what’s wrong?
370
00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:03,459
Nothing.
371
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:06,341
What is it, Karin?
372
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:08,133
| have a confession.
373
00:39:08,221 --> 00:39:10,052
Out with it, then.
374
00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:16,969
When Papa went out just now,
| rummaged through his desk.
375
00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:21,436
| don’t Know why. | just felt | had to.
376
00:39:21,943 --> 00:39:23,023
And?
377
00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:28,317
-| found his diary.
-And?
378
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:34,278
-He’d written things in it.
-Like what?
379
00:39:35,957 --> 00:39:37,447
About me.
380
00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:40,162
What had he written?
381
00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:42,373
| can't tell you.
382
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:45,584
About your illness?
383
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,802
ls it true it’s incurable?
384
00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:54,256
Dearest Karin, listen to me.
385
00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,884
Listen to me now.
386
00:39:57,979 --> 00:39:59,810
Look at me.
387
00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:05,438
| told David there’s a chance
you'll have a relapse.
388
00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:07,644
It's possible he misunderstood me.
389
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:11,231
No one can say your illness is incurable.
390
00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:14,651
Word of honor?
391
00:40:14,746 --> 00:40:15,986
Word of honor.
392
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:19,868
There now.
393
00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:23,201
There was more.
394
00:40:23,296 --> 00:40:25,082
Well?
395
00:40:25,173 --> 00:40:26,583
| can't tell you.
396
00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:29,256
-Please.
-| couldn't possibly.
397
00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:32,714
Ask him yourself.
398
00:40:35,558 --> 00:40:38,595
Karin, little Karin.
399
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:40,176
Martin?
400
00:40:43,524 --> 00:40:45,685
You must be patient with me.
401
00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:50,194
I'm sure my desire will come back.
402
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:53,276
Don't you think?
-Oh, yes.
403
00:40:53,368 --> 00:40:56,405
-Does it worry you?
-Not in the least.
404
00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:01,039
Listen, I'm terribly tired...
405
00:41:02,210 --> 00:41:05,202
but | still think we should go for a swim.
406
00:41:05,797 --> 00:41:07,537
It’s not cold at all.
407
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:22,059
Imagine having a stable wife
who gave you children and coffee in bed...
408
00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:26,564
who was big and soft
and warm and beautiful.
409
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:29,726
Wouldn't that be nice after all?
410
00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:34,573
-It's you | love.
-Of course, but all the same...
411
00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:36,866
| don't want anyone else.
412
00:41:44,544 --> 00:41:48,913
It's funny. Even though you always
say and do the right thing,
413
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:50,497
it turns out wrong.
414
00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:55,255
If | do, it’s out of love.
415
00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:59,009
He that loves for real
always does right by his loved one.
416
00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:01,591
In that case, you don't love me.
417
00:42:11,779 --> 00:42:13,610
Bye, Minus.
418
00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:15,313
Bye.
419
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:36,126
Make sure poor Minus
doesn't fall asleep over his Latin.
420
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:39,758
-| said I'd test him on his grammar.
-Bye, my girl.
421
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:44,638
Don't forget your brandy,
and get a bottle of white wine.
422
00:42:44,729 --> 00:42:45,809
My very thought.
423
00:42:45,897 --> 00:42:48,479
-Bye, darling.
-We’ll be back for dinner.
424
00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:31,480
What the hell are you laughing at?
425
00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:35,769
Eh?
426
00:43:38,241 --> 00:43:39,697
Say something.
427
00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:44,444
Have a look, if it’s so amusing.
428
00:43:45,498 --> 00:43:47,614
Which are your favorites?
429
00:43:48,126 --> 00:43:51,289
Don't be such an old maid.
Come and show me.
430
00:43:57,051 --> 00:43:59,918
You like her best? Why?
431
00:44:00,012 --> 00:44:01,548
She’s so soft.
432
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:04,722
| think she’s pretty too.
But isn’t she a bit fat?
433
00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:09,143
-And her hair is so long —
-She doesn't look too deep.
434
00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:14,603
But it doesn't help me a damn bit.
435
00:44:21,284 --> 00:44:23,320
Are you going to hit me?
436
00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:30,994
It was my fault. Forgive me.
437
00:44:31,752 --> 00:44:33,583
Easy now, Minus.
438
00:44:34,422 --> 00:44:36,834
It doesn't matter. Don't worry.
439
00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:41,293
| was silly and curious. Forgive me.
440
00:44:42,847 --> 00:44:45,680
| don't mean to. It just happens.
441
00:44:51,814 --> 00:44:53,930
-Did you study?
-More or less.
442
00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:56,516
-Shall | test you?
-If you'd like.
443
00:44:59,822 --> 00:45:02,689
-| wonder if everyone is caged in.
-What?
444
00:45:02,783 --> 00:45:04,899
You in your cage, | in mine.
445
00:45:04,994 --> 00:45:08,327
Each in his own little cube. Everybody.
446
00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:10,654
| don’t feel caged in at all.
447
00:45:10,750 --> 00:45:13,332
Then I’m wrong, as usual.
448
00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:16,627
Constructio ad sensum.
What does that mean?
449
00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:17,920
Oh, no, you don't.
450
00:45:18,007 --> 00:45:21,420
It means that
a grammatically correct construction
451
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:24,217
is changed to suit the context.
452
00:45:24,764 --> 00:45:26,629
For example?
453
00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:31,093
Nobilitas rem publicam deseru...
454
00:45:31,187 --> 00:45:32,893
Deseruerant
455
00:45:34,315 --> 00:45:35,976
It’s so hot.
456
00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,807
And I've been up since 4:30.
457
00:45:37,902 --> 00:45:40,268
Let’s have a cigarette. Got any?
458
00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:52,163
If you look long enough
with your head tilted to one side,
459
00:45:52,250 --> 00:45:53,956
it gives you the creeps.
460
00:45:54,043 --> 00:45:55,783
The creeps?
461
00:45:57,421 --> 00:45:59,753
Though it’s fascinating.
462
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:03,753
| don't talk to Papa or Martin about it.
They don’t understand.
463
00:46:05,012 --> 00:46:08,596
Particularly not Martin. He’s too anxious
and has enough worries as it is.
464
00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:14,886
They don't understand.
They just think I’m sick.
465
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:18,806
Do you think so too?
-No.
466
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,776
| Knew you didn't.
467
00:46:27,827 --> 00:46:29,283
You're stronger.
468
00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:34,079
I've so often wanted to talk to you
about it all. It’s like a —
469
00:46:34,166 --> 00:46:36,031
You can trust me.
470
00:46:37,545 --> 00:46:41,003
It's hard not to talk about something
that’s constantly on your mind.
471
00:46:41,966 --> 00:46:44,878
But | don't think the others
would mind my telling you.
472
00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:46,379
The others?
473
00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:50,054
Don't fluster me
with a lot of stupid questions.
474
00:46:50,141 --> 00:46:53,008
Either | tell you all | dare,
or it’S over.
475
00:46:53,102 --> 00:46:55,809
-I’m curious.
-That’s fine for you.
476
00:47:03,654 --> 00:47:06,145
Let me show you something.
477
00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:50,777
| walk through the wall, you see.
478
00:47:51,744 --> 00:47:55,862
Early in the morning, I'm woken
by someone calling me in a firm voice.
479
00:47:57,917 --> 00:48:00,454
| rise and come to this room.
480
00:48:01,337 --> 00:48:04,875
One day, someone called me
from behind the wallpaper.
481
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:12,550
| looked in the closet,
but there was no one there.
482
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,807
But the voice kept calling me,
483
00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:21,854
so | pressed myself against the wall,
and it gave way, like foliage...
484
00:48:23,109 --> 00:48:24,645
and | was inside.
485
00:48:28,989 --> 00:48:31,150
You think I’m making it up?
486
00:48:37,581 --> 00:48:39,867
| enter a large room.
487
00:48:41,877 --> 00:48:43,959
It’s bright and peaceful.
488
00:48:46,048 --> 00:48:48,710
People are moving back and forth.
489
00:48:50,052 --> 00:48:53,010
Some of them talk to me,
and | understand them.
490
00:48:55,391 --> 00:48:58,098
It's so nice, and | feel safe.
491
00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:04,226
In some of their faces,
there’s a shining light.
492
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,851
Everyone is waiting for Aim to come,
493
00:49:09,572 --> 00:49:11,437
but no one Is anxious.
494
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:16,988
They say that | can be there
when it happens.
495
00:49:19,331 --> 00:49:21,822
Why are you crying?
496
00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:24,454
It's nothing.
497
00:49:25,796 --> 00:49:28,162
Nothing to worry about.
498
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:36,008
But... sometimes | have
this intense yearning.
499
00:49:38,559 --> 00:49:40,925
| long for that moment...
500
00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:44,596
when the door will open...
501
00:49:45,608 --> 00:49:49,146
and all the faces will turn to him.
502
00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:51,435
Who is coming?
503
00:49:56,994 --> 00:49:59,076
No one has said for certain.
504
00:50:01,916 --> 00:50:06,125
But | think it’s God
who will reveal himself to us.
505
00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:11,835
That it will be him coming into the room
506
00:50:11,926 --> 00:50:13,757
through that door.
507
00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:25,010
Minus.
508
00:50:28,651 --> 00:50:31,393
| have something difficult to tell you.
509
00:50:31,862 --> 00:50:34,478
-What'’s that?
-| turn away from Martin.
510
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:38,524
He stands there calling me,
but | can’t help him.
511
00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:40,450
It all becomes like a game.
512
00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:44,534
-Does he notice anything?
-l’m not sure.
513
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:47,624
| must choose between him and the others.
514
00:50:48,504 --> 00:50:50,040
I've made up my mind.
515
00:50:50,673 --> 00:50:52,880
l’ve sacrificed Martin.
516
00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:56,041
ls all this for real?
517
00:50:56,136 --> 00:50:58,377
| don’t know.
518
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:01,718
’m caught in the middle,
and sometimes I’m uncertain.
519
00:51:02,476 --> 00:51:06,264
| Know I've been ill
and that my illness was like a dream.
520
00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:08,141
But these are no dreams.
521
00:51:08,232 --> 00:51:11,065
They must be real. They must be real.
522
00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:15,152
They’re not real for me, not in the least.
523
00:51:17,408 --> 00:51:18,818
Karin.
524
00:51:19,702 --> 00:51:22,569
They’re not real for me.
-Oh, yes.
525
00:51:28,252 --> 00:51:30,538
A god steps down from the mountain.
526
00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:35,043
He walks through the dark forest.
527
00:51:36,510 --> 00:51:40,298
There are wild beasts everywhere
in the silent darkness.
528
00:51:44,059 --> 00:51:46,141
It must be real.
529
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:50,304
I’m not dreaming. I'm telling the truth.
530
00:51:51,025 --> 00:51:54,017
Now I’m in one world, now in the other.
531
00:51:54,903 --> 00:51:56,768
| can't stop it.
532
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:10,203
Shall we go for a swim?
533
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:15,542
I'll go alone, then.
534
00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:19,129
I'm sleepy.
535
00:52:20,429 --> 00:52:22,511
I'm going to sleep a bit.
536
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:25,757
Close the door when you leave.
537
00:52:35,694 --> 00:52:39,027
Stop that. Get out.
538
00:52:53,379 --> 00:52:55,540
What the hell am | to do?
539
00:53:08,435 --> 00:53:10,767
Well, have you prepared your Latin?
540
00:53:13,023 --> 00:53:15,184
_et’s continue.
541
00:53:16,819 --> 00:53:19,105
But first we'll have some tea.
542
00:53:20,989 --> 00:53:22,320
Minus.
543
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:26,442
Will you tell Papa and Martin?
544
00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:28,619
Tell them what?
545
00:53:28,706 --> 00:53:31,118
Clever answer, but you don’t fool me.
546
00:53:31,625 --> 00:53:34,082
Tonight you'll take Martin aside and say,
547
00:53:34,169 --> 00:53:38,128
“| have to talk to you about Karin.”
And then you'll tell him everything.
548
00:53:38,215 --> 00:53:41,799
-Can't you tell him?
-Promise not to say anything.
549
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:43,500
| promise.
550
00:53:43,595 --> 00:53:45,631
You're the only one who understands.
551
00:53:45,723 --> 00:53:48,965
Say one word and you've betrayed me.
552
00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:50,720
| promise.
553
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:05,731
-It looks like rain.
-Do you think so?
554
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:09,152
-What's with you?
-What do you mean?
555
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:11,328
You're so quiet, almost hostile.
556
00:54:12,082 --> 00:54:14,949
-It's not worth talking about.
-Please.
557
00:54:16,253 --> 00:54:17,834
It’s about Karin.
558
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:22,920
She rummaged through your desk
and found your diary.
559
00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:25,800
And she read it, of course.
560
00:54:26,764 --> 00:54:28,254
Oh, no.
561
00:54:31,393 --> 00:54:33,133
What did you write?
562
00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:37,271
Karin wanted me to ask you.
563
00:54:41,111 --> 00:54:44,148
| wrote that her illness is incurable...
564
00:54:45,324 --> 00:54:49,442
that | felt a horrible urge
to record its course.
565
00:54:50,370 --> 00:54:51,985
There’s no one else to blame.
566
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,571
l’ve no excuse.
567
00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:59,706
It's always about you and yours.
568
00:55:02,049 --> 00:55:05,291
Your callousness is perverse.
569
00:55:05,385 --> 00:55:08,252
“Record its course.” That’s so typical.
570
00:55:11,266 --> 00:55:13,006
You don’t understand.
571
00:55:13,977 --> 00:55:15,433
No, | don't.
572
00:55:16,021 --> 00:55:17,727
But one thing | do understand.
573
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:20,056
You're always on the hunt for subjects.
574
00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:22,015
Your daughter's insanity.
575
00:55:22,110 --> 00:55:24,317
What a great idea.
576
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,730
| love her, Martin.
577
00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:31,534
Love her? You're void of all feeling.
578
00:55:31,620 --> 00:55:33,611
You lack common decency.
579
00:55:34,665 --> 00:55:38,829
You know how to express yourself.
You always have just the right words.
580
00:55:39,419 --> 00:55:43,082
There’s just one thing you havent
the slightest clue about —
581
00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:44,663
life itself.
582
00:55:45,259 --> 00:55:47,591
You're a craven coward,
583
00:55:48,095 --> 00:55:52,509
but a genius at evasions and excuses.
584
00:55:54,643 --> 00:55:56,383
What do you want me to do?
585
00:55:56,478 --> 00:55:57,843
Write your book.
586
00:55:59,106 --> 00:56:01,563
Maybe it will give you
your heart’s desire —
587
00:56:01,650 --> 00:56:03,481
your big breakthrough as a writer.
588
00:56:04,111 --> 00:56:08,024
Then you won't have sacrificed
your daughter in vain, and —
589
00:56:09,867 --> 00:56:11,858
Go ahead, Say it.
590
00:56:20,544 --> 00:56:23,286
In your novels,
you're always courting some god.
591
00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:25,625
But let me tell you,
592
00:56:25,716 --> 00:56:29,049
your faith and your doubt
are very unconvincing.
593
00:56:30,095 --> 00:56:33,178
All that’s apparent is your ingenuity.
594
00:56:33,974 --> 00:56:36,306
Don't you think | know that?
595
00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:37,929
Then why go on?
596
00:56:38,020 --> 00:56:40,352
Why not do something respectable instead?
597
00:56:40,439 --> 00:56:41,724
Such as?
598
00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:47,268
Have you written one word of truth
in your life as an author?
599
00:56:47,362 --> 00:56:49,478
-| don't know.
-See?
600
00:56:50,032 --> 00:56:54,526
Your half-lies are so refined
that they look like truth.
601
00:56:54,620 --> 00:56:57,202
-| do my best.
-Maybe you do.
602
00:56:57,789 --> 00:56:59,905
But you fall short.
603
00:57:02,210 --> 00:57:03,245
| know.
604
00:57:06,131 --> 00:57:07,917
You're empty but clever.
605
00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:12,544
Now you're trying to fill your void
with Karin’s extinction.
606
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:17,548
But | don't see
how you'll bring God into that.
607
00:57:17,643 --> 00:57:19,884
It'll make him more inscrutable than ever.
608
00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:22,264
-Can | ask you something?
-Of course.
609
00:57:22,356 --> 00:57:25,098
Can you always control
your innermost thoughts?
610
00:57:25,192 --> 00:57:28,559
Fortunately I'm not very complex.
611
00:57:29,029 --> 00:57:33,398
My world is very simple.
Quite clear and human.
612
00:57:33,492 --> 00:57:35,198
Still you’ve wished Karin would die?
613
00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:37,742
Absolutely not.
614
00:57:39,331 --> 00:57:41,196
Only you could think such a thing.
615
00:57:42,042 --> 00:57:44,374
Can you swear you've never thought of it?
616
00:57:45,003 --> 00:57:46,743
It would be logical.
617
00:57:46,838 --> 00:57:49,079
You know that her case is hopeless
618
00:57:49,174 --> 00:57:52,632
and that both your suffering is pointless.
619
00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:55,381
She might as well be dead.
620
00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:56,803
You are grotesque.
621
00:57:56,890 --> 00:57:58,801
That depends entirely
on your point of view.
622
00:58:02,020 --> 00:58:03,510
| love her.
623
00:58:04,856 --> 00:58:06,596
I'm powerless.
624
00:58:07,859 --> 00:58:09,895
| can only stand by and watch...
625
00:58:10,946 --> 00:58:14,859
as she is transformed
into a poor, tormented animal.
626
00:58:18,161 --> 00:58:20,072
Let me tell you something.
627
00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:26,666
When | was in Switzerland,
| decided to kill myself.
628
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:31,126
| hired a car and found a cliff.
629
00:58:32,009 --> 00:58:34,375
| set out calmly.
630
00:58:34,469 --> 00:58:37,006
It was afternoon.
The valley was already in darkness.
631
00:58:39,641 --> 00:58:42,974
| was empty.
No fear, no regrets, no expectations.
632
00:58:44,563 --> 00:58:47,350
| aimed the car at the cliff,
stepped on the gas —
633
00:58:47,441 --> 00:58:49,932
and stalled, stopping dead.
634
00:58:50,027 --> 00:58:51,858
The transmission went out, you see.
635
00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:55,821
The car slid on the gravel
and came to a halt,
636
00:58:55,907 --> 00:58:58,319
front wheels over the edge.
637
00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:01,652
| crawled out of the car, trembling.
638
00:59:03,582 --> 00:59:06,244
| leaned against a rock across the road.
639
00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:09,959
| sat gasping for breath for hours.
640
00:59:12,758 --> 00:59:14,294
Why are you telling me this?
641
00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:20,178
To tell you
| no longer have any pretense to keep up.
642
00:59:20,932 --> 00:59:23,765
The truth won't bring catastrophe.
643
00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:26,134
This has nothing to do with Karin.
644
00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:27,969
| think it does.
645
00:59:29,107 --> 00:59:30,347
| don’t understand.
646
00:59:31,526 --> 00:59:33,016
From the void within me,
647
00:59:33,111 --> 00:59:36,399
something was born
that | can’t touch or name.
648
00:59:39,743 --> 00:59:41,608
A love.
649
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:44,657
For Karin and Minus.
650
00:59:46,666 --> 00:59:48,122
And you.
651
00:59:51,088 --> 00:59:53,295
One day, | may tell you about it.
652
00:59:54,174 --> 00:59:56,130
| dare not do it now.
653
00:59:56,218 --> 00:59:57,708
But if —
654
00:59:58,261 --> 01:00:00,923
But if it’s the way I’m hoping —
655
01:00:05,894 --> 01:00:07,976
_et’s leave it for now.
656
01:00:27,874 --> 01:00:29,660
The rain is coming.
657
01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:33,709
No.
658
01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:37,748
Yes.
659
01:00:39,386 --> 01:00:40,842
The rain is coming.
660
01:03:10,078 --> 01:03:11,693
Karin, is that you?
661
01:03:33,351 --> 01:03:34,841
It's me, Karin.
662
01:04:22,067 --> 01:04:24,683
Can't you hear me, Karin?
663
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:28,311
l’m not well.
664
01:04:28,406 --> 01:04:29,612
Let's go home.
665
01:04:29,699 --> 01:04:32,691
-You have to help me.
-How can | help you?
666
01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:37,404
You have to help me.
667
01:04:43,254 --> 01:04:45,085
I'm so thirsty.
668
01:04:45,173 --> 01:04:46,504
I'll get some water.
669
01:05:45,608 --> 01:05:47,018
God.
670
01:07:53,570 --> 01:07:54,980
What time is it?
671
01:07:57,699 --> 01:07:59,030
5:00, | think.
672
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:03,071
I've been very sick,
673
01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:05,741
but | feel better now.
674
01:08:05,832 --> 01:08:06,912
Poor Minus.
675
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,956
Karin, my darling.
676
01:08:09,043 --> 01:08:12,080
-| want to talk to Papa alone.
-Let’s go home.
677
01:08:12,171 --> 01:08:14,753
| must talk to Papa
before it starts again.
678
01:08:14,841 --> 01:08:17,674
-Karin, dear.
-Please.
679
01:08:27,061 --> 01:08:29,347
I'll go and call an ambulance.
680
01:08:38,239 --> 01:08:40,605
Please go and get my medicine bag.
681
01:08:40,700 --> 01:08:43,442
lll have to give her a shot.
682
01:08:54,839 --> 01:08:59,424
| want to stay at the hospital now.
| don’t want any more treatments.
683
01:09:01,304 --> 01:09:03,761
Can you tell them no more of those?
684
01:09:03,848 --> 01:09:05,338
| don’t know.
685
01:09:06,267 --> 01:09:09,976
| can't live in two worlds.
| have to choose.
686
01:09:11,397 --> 01:09:14,355
| can’t keep going back and forth
between one and the other.
687
01:09:26,829 --> 01:09:29,195
It can't go on.
688
01:09:29,791 --> 01:09:31,031
What?
689
01:09:32,210 --> 01:09:33,575
The hatred.
690
01:09:33,670 --> 01:09:35,206
What hatred?
691
01:09:42,679 --> 01:09:45,136
| didn’t do it of my own free will.
692
01:09:46,766 --> 01:09:49,974
A voice told me what to do.
693
01:09:52,230 --> 01:09:54,767
The voice told you to read my diary.
694
01:09:56,818 --> 01:09:59,981
It also told you
to tell Martin what you read.
695
01:10:06,494 --> 01:10:08,485
l’ve done worse than that.
696
01:10:13,292 --> 01:10:14,702
Much worse.
697
01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:24,714
| tried to resist,
but | couldn’t get away.
698
01:10:27,765 --> 01:10:29,630
| was forced to do it.
699
01:10:31,936 --> 01:10:33,472
When was this?
700
01:10:35,606 --> 01:10:37,187
Just now.
701
01:10:39,902 --> 01:10:42,268
Poor little Minus.
702
01:10:46,826 --> 01:10:49,488
| just don't understand!
703
01:10:50,163 --> 01:10:52,154
Try to stay calm, Karin.
704
01:10:57,211 --> 01:10:59,748
And then the room with the people waiting.
705
01:11:03,885 --> 01:11:07,048
Those good, bright-faced people
waiting for the door to open...
706
01:11:08,389 --> 01:11:10,550
for God to come to them.
707
01:11:12,977 --> 01:11:14,592
Then the voices start...
708
01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:19,564
and | have to do as they say.
709
01:11:21,319 --> 01:11:23,810
| can’t make sense of it all.
710
01:11:24,655 --> 01:11:26,862
Is it really just my illness?
711
01:11:31,078 --> 01:11:35,037
It's so horrible to see your own confusion
and understand it.
712
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:54,049
| want to apologize to you.
713
01:11:56,979 --> 01:12:00,346
I've always had a guilty conscience
about you, so | turned away.
714
01:12:03,861 --> 01:12:07,695
It makes me sick to think of the life
| sacrificed to my so-called art.
715
01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:12,154
| first became successful
around the time your mother died.
716
01:12:12,245 --> 01:12:14,327
It meant more to me than her death.
717
01:12:15,248 --> 01:12:19,332
| was secretly rejoicing, yet | loved
your mother in my own confused way.
718
01:12:20,378 --> 01:12:23,120
When | fell ill, you went to Switzerland.
719
01:12:23,214 --> 01:12:27,423
| couldn't bear that you had inherited
your mother’s illness, so | fled.
720
01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:29,592
| had to finish my novel.
721
01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:32,336
Is it any good?
722
01:12:38,312 --> 01:12:39,973
You see, Karin...
723
01:12:41,482 --> 01:12:43,848
one draws a magic circle around oneself
724
01:12:44,527 --> 01:12:48,691
to keep everything out
that doesn’t fit one’s secret games.
725
01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:52,736
Each time life breaks through the circle,
726
01:12:52,827 --> 01:12:55,068
the games become puny and ridiculous.
727
01:12:56,914 --> 01:13:00,372
So one draws a new circle
and builds new defenses.
728
01:13:04,755 --> 01:13:05,995
Poor little Papa.
729
01:13:06,090 --> 01:13:10,254
Yes, poor little Papa,
forced to live in reality.
730
01:13:27,778 --> 01:13:29,393
Let's go home now.
731
01:13:30,406 --> 01:13:32,146
| have to pack.
732
01:13:46,589 --> 01:13:49,797
-When will the ambulance be here?
-About an hour.
733
01:13:52,053 --> 01:13:54,214
| just want to get changed and pack.
734
01:14:01,854 --> 01:14:03,560
Thanks. | can manage.
735
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:12,190
The light is so strong.
736
01:14:23,459 --> 01:14:25,620
You must help Minus with his Latin, Papa.
737
01:14:25,711 --> 01:14:26,666
| already thought of it.
738
01:14:29,215 --> 01:14:31,251
We mustn't forget
the keys to our place in town.
739
01:14:31,342 --> 01:14:32,878
The doorman’s on vacation.
740
01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:36,461
-Aren't you coming back here?
-No, I'll stay in town.
741
01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:39,012
| think that’s best.
742
01:14:41,936 --> 01:14:44,348
We didn't get to pick any mushrooms.
743
01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:50,312
Will you help me pack, Martin?
-Of course.
744
01:14:56,617 --> 01:14:58,232
| want to talk to you.
745
01:15:00,871 --> 01:15:01,951
Come here now, Minus.
746
01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:20,426
Your shirts are washed but not ironed.
747
01:15:23,978 --> 01:15:26,936
I'll wear this.
I’ve got shirts in town anyway.
748
01:15:27,023 --> 01:15:28,934
Can you help me close this, please?
749
01:15:39,702 --> 01:15:43,194
It’s the shoes. I'll leave them here.
750
01:15:43,289 --> 01:15:46,031
Wear these instead and leave those.
751
01:15:46,500 --> 01:15:48,536
I’m taking them to the shoemaker's.
752
01:15:51,630 --> 01:15:53,461
Have you got something for a headache?
753
01:15:55,217 --> 01:15:59,130
-| thought | put my bag in here.
-No, it’s in the kitchen.
754
01:15:59,722 --> 01:16:01,303
So it is.
755
01:16:54,777 --> 01:16:56,642
Have you seen Karin?
756
01:16:58,948 --> 01:16:59,778
No.
757
01:17:15,548 --> 01:17:18,335
| came as quickly as | could,
but it wasn’t easy.
758
01:17:20,094 --> 01:17:23,632
There are many who would stop me.
759
01:17:26,392 --> 01:17:28,132
I'm so happy.
760
01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:35,685
Yes, | understand.
761
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,937
mvlaesenciaer
762
01:17:44,034 --> 01:17:45,149
Yes.
763
01:17:45,953 --> 01:17:47,238
That's good.
764
01:17:48,664 --> 01:17:50,325
Yes, | understand.
765
01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:56,042
Yes, | understand.
766
01:17:57,173 --> 01:17:59,334
| Know it won't be long now.
767
01:18:02,636 --> 01:18:04,797
It’s a great comfort to know that.
768
01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:09,006
But our waiting has been a time of joy.
769
01:18:11,145 --> 01:18:13,352
Martin, walk quietly.
770
01:18:13,856 --> 01:18:16,268
They say he'll be here any moment now.
771
01:18:16,358 --> 01:18:18,599
We must be ready.
772
01:18:18,694 --> 01:18:20,605
We're going to town.
773
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:22,527
| can’t go now. Don't you see?
774
01:18:22,615 --> 01:18:24,947
You're mistaken, Karin.
775
01:18:27,286 --> 01:18:29,572
Nothing is happening in there.
776
01:18:33,334 --> 01:18:36,121
No god is going to walk through that door.
777
01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:40,626
He'll be here any moment now,
and | must be here.
778
01:18:40,716 --> 01:18:43,332
Dearest Karin, it’s not true.
779
01:18:43,844 --> 01:18:47,336
lf you can’t be quiet, you'd best leave.
780
01:18:47,431 --> 01:18:49,092
Come now.
781
01:18:49,183 --> 01:18:51,014
Why must you spoil it?
782
01:18:51,101 --> 01:18:53,717
Go away and let me have this moment alone.
783
01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:27,167
Dearest Martin...
784
01:19:28,514 --> 01:19:30,755
I'm sorry | was SO mean just now.
785
01:19:32,977 --> 01:19:37,516
Couldn't you kneel down next to me
and put your hands together?
786
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:42,650
You look so funny
and conspicuous sitting there.
787
01:19:44,571 --> 01:19:46,687
| Know you dont believe...
788
01:19:47,908 --> 01:19:49,944
but for my sake, Martin.
789
01:20:00,921 --> 01:20:02,457
My love.
790
01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:05,794
My love.
791
01:21:25,047 --> 01:21:26,708
Hold her legs.
792
01:21:46,860 --> 01:21:48,691
Calm down, Karin.
793
01:22:30,863 --> 01:22:32,478
| was frightened.
794
01:22:35,784 --> 01:22:37,570
The door opened.
795
01:22:39,580 --> 01:22:42,492
But the god that came out was a spider.
796
01:22:46,753 --> 01:22:48,664
He came towards me...
797
01:22:49,798 --> 01:22:51,834
and | saw his face.
798
01:22:53,218 --> 01:22:55,960
It was a terrible, stony face.
799
01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:02,842
He crawled up
and tried to force himself into me,
800
01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:05,218
but | defended myself.
801
01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:10,186
The whole time, | saw his eyes.
802
01:23:11,695 --> 01:23:14,311
They were cold and calm.
803
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:18,824
When he couldn't penetrate me...
804
01:23:20,787 --> 01:23:23,028
he continued up my chest...
805
01:23:25,209 --> 01:23:28,497
up onto my face and on up the wall.
806
01:23:37,930 --> 01:23:40,421
| have seen God.
807
01:24:01,912 --> 01:24:04,745
Wait by the jetty.
We'll be there as soon as we can.
808
01:24:12,506 --> 01:24:14,212
They'll be waiting by the jetty.
809
01:27:30,954 --> 01:27:32,239
I'm scared, Papa.
810
01:27:34,833 --> 01:27:37,870
When | sat holding Karin
down in the wreck,
811
01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:39,701
reality burst open.
812
01:27:39,796 --> 01:27:41,957
Do you understand what | mean?
813
01:27:42,048 --> 01:27:43,208
Yes, | understand.
814
01:27:43,300 --> 01:27:45,416
Reality burst open,
815
01:27:46,136 --> 01:27:47,342
and | tumbled out.
816
01:27:48,138 --> 01:27:50,379
It’s like in a dream.
817
01:27:50,474 --> 01:27:52,305
Anything can happen.
818
01:27:52,976 --> 01:27:54,341
Anything.
819
01:27:55,771 --> 01:27:57,432
| know.
820
01:27:58,315 --> 01:28:00,226
| can’t live in this new world.
821
01:28:00,317 --> 01:28:02,148
Yes, you can,
822
01:28:02,235 --> 01:28:04,601
but you must have something to hold onto.
823
01:28:04,696 --> 01:28:06,778
What would that be?
824
01:28:06,865 --> 01:28:08,071
A god?
825
01:28:10,160 --> 01:28:12,196
Give me some proof of God.
826
01:28:14,748 --> 01:28:16,864
You can't.
-Yes, | can.
827
01:28:16,958 --> 01:28:19,495
But you have to listen carefully.
828
01:28:20,504 --> 01:28:23,337
Yes, | need to listen.
829
01:28:23,924 --> 01:28:27,337
| can only give you a hint of my own hope.
830
01:28:28,053 --> 01:28:32,592
It's knowing that love exists for real
in the human world.
831
01:28:32,682 --> 01:28:35,845
-A special kind of love, | suppose?
-All kinds, Minus.
832
01:28:35,936 --> 01:28:39,804
The highest and the lowest,
the most absurd and the most sublime.
833
01:28:40,899 --> 01:28:42,810
All kinds of love.
834
01:28:42,901 --> 01:28:45,108
The longing for love?
835
01:28:45,195 --> 01:28:47,106
Longing and denial.
836
01:28:47,197 --> 01:28:49,188
Trust and distrust.
837
01:28:50,492 --> 01:28:53,859
So love is the proof?
838
01:28:55,205 --> 01:28:58,368
| don't know if love
is proof of God’s existence
839
01:28:58,458 --> 01:29:00,574
or if love is God himself.
840
01:29:01,962 --> 01:29:05,625
For you, love and God are the same.
841
01:29:06,633 --> 01:29:10,717
That thought helps me
in my emptiness and my dirty despair.
842
01:29:12,389 --> 01:29:14,175
Tell me more, Papa.
843
01:29:18,061 --> 01:29:19,801
and despair into life.
844
01:29:20,605 --> 01:29:22,766
It’s like a reprieve, Minus...
845
01:29:24,109 --> 01:29:26,100
from a death sentence.
846
01:29:27,362 --> 01:29:30,479
Papa, if it is as you Say,
847
01:29:30,574 --> 01:29:34,738
then Karin is surrounded by God,
since we love her.
848
01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:36,158
Yes.
849
01:29:36,246 --> 01:29:37,907
Can that help her?
850
01:29:40,917 --> 01:29:42,532
| believe so.
851
01:29:47,424 --> 01:29:49,255
Would you mind if | go for a run?
852
01:29:49,342 --> 01:29:52,084
Off you go. I'll make dinner.
853
01:29:52,178 --> 01:29:53,588
see you in an hour.
854
01:30:01,688 --> 01:30:03,849
Papa spoke to me.
61676
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