All language subtitles for The.Soul.Man.S05E08.This.Muds.For.You.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

[dramatic fanfare]

♪

- I'’m Connie Reese.

Coming up next,
your candidates for mayor

debate who should lead
St. Louis

for the next four years.

Will the people
reelect Mayor Ron Saxby,

or will the honor go
to Pastor Boyce Ballentine,

or will they both fall

to dentist
and anti-government activist

Dr. Harry Zagelman?

- Is he allowed to do that?

- Stay tuned, St. Louis.

We'’ll see you
after the break.

[dramatic fanfare]

- Heh.
This is gonna be great.

You know, first,
I'’ll outline

my six-point economic plan;
then I'’ll hit '’em

with expanding
pre-K education.

What--what are you doing?

- I'’m looking for some
"give a damn,"

because what you'’re saying
could not be more boring.

- Saving the soul
of the city is boring?

- Yes. We'’ve run out of time
for your idealism.

Saxby is crushing us
in the polls.

Why won'’t you at least
hear the dirt I have on him?

- Because people are angry
at those kind of politics.

I want to win
with integrity.

- Well, maybe you should run
for Soccer Team Snack Mom.

This is the big leagues,
and what I have on Saxby

isn'’t just dirt;
it'’s filth.

It'’s the stuff that gets
pumped out of a porta-potty

at a country music festival.

- Mm--
yeah, okay.

All right, you know what?
Still, it'’s a no.

- All right, I respect that.
- [sighs]

- He'’s got this--
- Ah-buh-buh-buh.

Na-na-na-na-ahh!

- Sorry we'’re late.

Someone insisted

on getting his picture taken
with the KTAZ weatherman.

- Stormy Hernandez?

- Yeah, I couldn'’t find him,

but I did get a few nice shots
of his parking space.

- Dad, when did you
become so starstruck?

I'’ve taken you backstage
millions of times--

Madison Square Garden,
the Apollo, the Grammys.

- But this is KTAZ.

I'’ve been watching this station
for over 40 years.

I feel like a schoolgirl
about to meet The Beatles.

- You know, another time
you should have felt like

you met The Beatles
is when I introduced you

to Paul McCartney.

- He was all right.

But Stormy Hernandez...

His van got picked up
by a tornado once.

I'’ma go see if I can
get his autograph.

- You should do that.

- Uh, Lolli,
I thought I asked you

to dress conservative.

- I conserved some.

This ain'’t all of it.

- Well, we'’re about to start,
so maybe you could

head over to
the friends and family area.

- I don'’t want to watch
the debate with Saxby'’s wife.

After all that trash
he talked about you,

what am I gonna
say to her?

- [sighs]
Remember, babe.

We'’re taking the high road
here, all right?

If I can do it,
so can you.

Just be cordial.

- [impudently]Mm-hmm.

- More cordial than that.

- [cheerfully]Mm-hmm.

- Come on.
Show some teeth.

Mm, yeah.
There you go, babe.

- I'’ll try.
- [laughs]

Isn'’t she great?

- [impudently]
Mm-hmm.

[soul music]

♪

- Got a second, Ron?

- Please, call me Ron.

- I just did.

- Oh, sorry.
Force of habit.

Most people
refer to me as Mayor.

- Oh.

Well, look.
We both know how

these campaigns have a way
of turning real ugly.

I mean, you have been running
some pretty nasty

campaign ads about me.

- Really? Like what?

- Oh, I don'’t know.

Maybe the one suggesting

that I might be
a Dominican anchor baby.

- Okay, I did not approve
that message.

- Really?
- No, sir.

- Because at the end of the ad,
you specifically say,

"I'’m Ron Saxby,
and I approve this message."

- That does
sound like me.

- You know, personally,
I think the people deserve

to hear the issues debated
in a calm, civilized manner.

This should be a conversation,
not a cage match.

- Fair enough, Boyce.
I approve.

- All right, good.

Oh, can I get
a little bit of that?

- That'’s a little insulting,
but okay.

- [coughs,
clears throat]

- Bless you.

- Oh, uh, it was a cough.

- Oh.

- But still, thank you.

- You'’re welcome.

- I like your dress.

- Thank you.

I like your dress too.

- Oh, come on.
Now you'’re just being nice.

My husband'’s campaign manager
made me wear this.

- My husband'’s campaign manager
told me what to wear too.

- Wow, well, she'’s got
fantastic taste.

- No, she has terrible taste.
This was all me.

- Oh.

Would you like
a glass of wine?

- Oh, well--
[chuckles]

Should we be drinking
during our husbands'’ debate?

- Oh, what,
are you kidding?

It'’s the only way
to get through it.

- [laughs, sighs]

Oh, that'’s good.
- Ooh, ooh, okay.

- No, good, good.
- Ooh, ooh.

- Now it'’s great.
[laughter]

- All right.
- Ahh.

- Well, uh, it'’s very--

I don'’t want to mess
my hair up.

Let'’s just--
there we go.

- Let'’s start with you,
Reverend.

What makes you think
you can run the city?

- Connie,
I'’m glad you asked.

Well, I think that--

- Actually, Connie,
I'’d love to jump in...

if my buddy Boyce
doesn'’t mind.

- [mouthing words]
- Sure, Ron. Go ahead.

- Great, because I wouldn'’t
feel right if I didn'’t

welcome the fine people
watching at home.

You watch because you care.

I salute you.

Now, Boyce,
you were saying?

- Well, what I was saying
is that I--

- May I respond to what
Mayor Saxby just said?

I, too, would like to
welcome the fine people

who are watching at home
and those at friends'’ homes.

- I-I believe that
we are clear that

we welcome
everyone watching.

No matter where
you'’re watching it,

your friend'’s house, your home,
or a gas pump, you know?

I-I think we should
get back to the issues.

- Agreed. Mayor Saxby,
Pastor Ballentine alleges

that the current system
of tickets and fines

is a poor tax
used to subsidize

luxury condos and pay for
a new baseball stadium.

Your response.

- I'’m glad
you brought that up, Pat.

Let me just say, as an admirer
of both Boyce and freedom,

I believe he has every right
to despise baseball,

our national pastime.

Now, perhaps my friend Boyce
prefers soccer.

- All right, Ron.
That'’s just not right, now.

- Oh, sorry.
Should I say fútbol?

- I'’m not Dominican.

- [laughs]
Ooh.

Do you think we should,
uh, turn that up?

- Nah, no,
we might hear them.

- [laughs]
You need to quit.

And you need to top me off.

- Oh, all right.
[sighs]

Can I confess something?
[clears throat]

I have been a huge fan
of Boyce and Lolli

for, well, forever.

I have got all
of Boyce'’s albums.

I, uh--I-I used to pore over
your outfits in "Us Weekly."

- Okay, now you really
need to quit.

- Oh, okay, look,
I'’m gonna prove it to you.

All right, uh,
true or false:

you and Paula Abdul
wore the same

Jimmy Choos
to the '’98 Vibe Awards.

- What? Who can remember
back then?

"Us Weekly" said
I wore it better.

- Because you did.

- [laughs]
You know, it'’s a shame

our husbands
have to be enemies,

because we could be
great friends.

- Oh, please.
Me?

Friends with the--the glamorous
Lolli Ballentine?

- Oh, please,
things aren'’t always

what they appear to be
in "Us Weekly."

- Mm.

- I mean,
it may seem as though

I'’ve always had it tight
and together,

but I-I'’m telling you
something, Linda,

Boyce and I have had
our share of lean times.

I mean, when he first blew up,
girl, he went through

a major over-spending phase.

Buying every damn thing--
cars, boats, watches.

- Really?
- Yeah.

There were times
we couldn'’t leave our castle

without being
harassed by creditors.

- Oh.

- Did I mention
the man leased a castle?

- Really?
Like, in Europe?

- Girl, no. Vegas.
- Oh.

- It had 19 bedrooms,though.

Whoo, lost my mama
in there twice.

Aah!
[laughter]

- That'’s why I would close
the libraries, the parks,

the fire department,
school boards--

- I-I'’m sorry,
did you say you would

shut down
the fire department?

- Yes. Let the free market
do the work.

Stop sucking off
the city'’s teat.

- So if it were up to you,
we would have

a city full of dumb kids
with nowhere to play

but burned-down houses.

- I'’m sorry, Connie,
but as I sit here

and I watch Pastor Ballentine
attack the good doctor

like this,
I can'’t help but think

how these campaigns
have a way of turning ugly.

I mean, don'’t the people
deserve to hear

these issues debated
in a calm and civilized manner?

I mean, this--this should be
a--a conversation,

not a cage match.

- Hold--hold on, Ron.

I said those exact words
to you earlier.

- Now, if Boyce is referring
to approaching me

before the debate,
it'’s true; he did.

- Thank you, Ron.

- And I firmly told him
that Ron Saxby

does not engage in those
shady backroom dealings.

- Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

That'’s not what happened.

- So you didn'’t
approach him backstage?

- No, no, I approached him,
you know?

But what I was--what I had--
I had started to, uh--

- A lot of hedging
for a man of the cloth.

- Shame, shame, shame.

- You know,
you and this crazy dentist

are twisting my words, man.

- I was hoping we could
keep this friendly.

- No, no, no,
I'’m the one who wanted

to keep it friendly;
I'’m the nice one.

- We'’ll be back
after a short break.

- I mean,
come on.

[dramatic fanfare]

[inaudible]

It'’s some bull[bleep],
is what it is.

- We are still on the air.
- Oh.

- Okay, guys.
We'’re back on in two minutes.

- Keesha, I need powder.
I'’m feeling shiny.

- [groans]

- Boyce, can I ask you
something?

Is this a setup?
- What?

- Is your whole campaign
a long con to ruin my career?

Because I'’ve never seen anybody
debate like that on purpose.

- Why couldn'’t you just say,
"Chin up! Attaboy!

Go get '’em, tiger!"

- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Baby, you are killin'’ it!

- Were you even watching?
- Mm-hmm.

- Lolli, will you please talk
some sense into your husband?

I'’ve got some grade-A dirt
on Saxby, but he won'’t use it.

- I agree with Boyce.
You can'’t do that to the Saxbys.

Linda'’s my friend.

- You'’ve known that woman
for 20 minutes.

- And some people
you like instantly.

Others, you know for months--
and nothing.

- Okay.

- Boyce, I respect
your integrity,

as irritating as it is,

but you are
getting creamed out there.

Why won'’t you at least
listen to what I'’ve got?

- Fine. What is it?
Come on.

- All right.
I know for a fact

that the mayor
of St. Louis

is into something

called "pony play."

- What? He--he plays
with ponies? What--

- No, no, no.
He isthe pony.

And he likes to have women
ride him around.

Naked.
- Oh.

Come on, that sounds like
one of those crazy rumors.

I don'’t--
- Oh, really?

Is this a rumor?
- Oh. Oh, wow.

Whoa, he--I mean, he got
the hooves on and everything.

So how does he
keep the tail on?

Oh! Oh, oh!
No, no, no, no.

You know what?

That'’s the freakiest thing
I'’ve ever seen,

and I shared a tour bus
with R. Kelly, so...

- Back on the air in one,
my friends.

- Okay.
- So you'’re gonna use it, right?

- No, it--it'’s just
too vicious right there.

If I use that against Saxby,
then I'’m no better

than the politicians
I hate, so...

- You'’re just gonna
go out there and roll over.

- No, I can
win this thing, still,

on my own terms.

I'’m just gonna go out there
and fight.

You got to remember,
I come from the streets.

- You come from Frontenac.

That'’s a very nice
neighborhood.

- Well, they got streets.

You know,
stuff went down out there.

I mean, people'’s bikes
got stolen, you know?

Sometimes kids
couldn'’t find their book bags.

I admit, Saxby caught me
off guard in round one,

but in round two,
I'’m coming out swinging.

- Hey, Boyce.

Stormy,
this is my son Boyce

I was telling you about.

He'’s the one
that laughed at me

for wearing a parka
to Summerfest '’98.

- Ah, yes, a late-season
cold front came barreling in

from Lake Superior.

- This boy
was wearing flip-flops.

[laughter]

- You know, it'’s great to go
down memory lane, guys,

but, Dad, I got to
get back to the debate.

- You'’re doing great
out there, son.

You'’re crushing Saxby.

- Is nobody in my family
watching this thing?

[dramatic fanfare]

- Welcome back
to KTAZ'’s Mayoral Debate.

Mayor Saxby, moving on

to the topic of pension reform,
how would you--

- Sorry to interrupt you,
Connie, but I'’d like to clarify

a few things
from last round,

as long as my good friend Ron
here doesn'’t mind.

- Well, actually, Boyce,
I don'’t think it'’s--

- Good.

Now, you all saw me lose
my temper, and you know what?

I'’m glad you did,
because if I have to get mad

to let the people of St. Louis
know that Saxby

is ripping them off,
that he is balancing his budget

on their backs,
then damn right I'’ll get mad,

and I'’ll make mad matter.

- Mayor Saxby, care to respond?
- Yes, I would.

I find it interesting
that Pastor Ballentine brings up

the city'’s budget,
when there were years

the man couldn'’t even
balance his own.

- Uh, say what, now?

- The truth is,
even as Boyce Ballentine

raked it in
as a show business celebrity,

his extravagant
and irresponsible lifestyle

kept him from paying the rent
on his castle.

- You told him?
I-I thought we were friends.

- Well, of course
we'’re friends.

This stuff'’s just politics.

Come on, Lolli.
Don'’t be mad.

- How can I not
be mad, Linda?

You stabbed me in the back.

- No, no, no, no, no,
my husband

stabbed your husband
in the back.

- '’Cause you gave him
the knife!

- I'’m sorry.
I forgot you'’re new at this.

I hope we'’re still on
for "Scandal" Thursday.

- Don'’t make me
take off my earrings.

- Okay. Oh.

- So I ask you,

can we afford
to have this man

in charge of
our city'’s checkbook?

- Pastor, is all this true?

- We'’ll be right back.
Right, Connie?

We'’ll be right back.

Please say it.

- Where the hell did Saxby
get that info?

The only people that knew about
that time in my life

were me, Lolli,
and my old accountant,

Dennis Chen.
- Do you trust him?

- No, he'’s the one who told us
we could afford the castle.

- Baby, we need to talk.
- Look, babe, can it wait?

I mean, we'’re
in crisis mode right now.

I believe Saxby
has an inside man.

- Or woman.
- Okay, sure, it'’s 2016.

Yes, I get it.

The point is, it'’s like
he has a spy, you know--

- A spy
who loves you very much

and thought she was friends
with that snitch Linda.

- You mean
your bestie Linda?

- So you told her?
Why?

- Babe, we were chatting.

I mean, that'’s what ladies do
when you'’re locked in a room

with sushi, wine,
and nothing on TV.

- I'’m debating on TV.

- Boyce, I hope
this opens your eyes

to the type of people
we'’re up against.

- You know what?
The man tells lies about me.

He steals my ideas.
He manipulates my wife.

It'’s going down.

- Yes.
Baby, whatever dirt

you have on Saxby,
you use it.

- What are you
talking about?

- I finally woke up, Dad.

Everything that I want
to accomplish

means nothing
if I don'’t win this election.

So I'’m about to go in there
and take that man down

in his own filth.

- I am so proud
of you right now.

This is what it must feel like
to be a mother.

- I sure hope you know
what you'’re doing,

going out there,
slinging mud.

- Mud kills more people
every year than hurricanes.

- And he would know.

- Dad, I can'’t let Saxby
just walk all over me.

- Boyce, you'’ve got to think
about your reputation.

- Why am I getting
political advice

from Stormy Hernandez?

- Son, go ahead
and do what you got to do.

All I'’m saying is,
anytime you sling mud,

you end up
getting some on yourself.

- But what choice
do I have?

- All right, friends,
places.

We'’re back live
in one minute.

- You ready for
another round, Pastor?

- [sighs]
- That Saxby plays dirty, huh?

- Believe me, you don'’t know
the half of it.

- What are you
talking about?

- [sighs]

- I'’d like to focus
this round

on the city'’s
budget shortfall.

Dr. Zagelman, you fancy
yourself a fiscal wonk.

- Correct, and after studying
the great monetary theorists,

I have to conclude...

Mayor Saxby
is a freaking sex pervert!

- Whoa!
- What?

- Please.
- I know for a fact

that he dresses up
like a pony

and has women
ride him around.

- That is an outrageous
accusation.

- So you deny it?

- I'’m not even gonna
dignify it with a response.

- That'’s not a denial.

- Okay, now, now, now.
Look, guys.

Things are getting
pretty unseemly.

I think the voters would like us
to get back to the issues.

- Yes.
- They'’re not interested

in whether or not
a man likes to saddle up

and have a lady
trot him around the yard.

- Which I never admitted to.

- Or denied.

- There'’s no reason
for me to deny something

so patently ridiculous.

- Still not a denial.

- This is way better
than "Scandal."

- Okay, gentlemen.

Let'’s get
back on track here.

- Please.
- Yes, you know what?

The candidates'’ personal lives
should be off-limits.

And even if
these sordid allegations

were true,
my reaction as a pastor

would be to offer him
counseling

or perhaps a sugar cube.

[laughs]

- The real question is,

do we want this man
to represent our city?

And I say, "Neigh!"

- You son of a bitch!
- Oh, yeah!

- Hey, okay, gentlemen.
- You have no right--

- Come on, boy--
- Gentlemen!

[all shouting]

- Well played, Ballentine.

- Excuse me?
- I know it was you.

- I don'’t know
what you'’re talking about.

- Please, Zagelman'’s
not capable of this.

Look at him.
He'’s unhinged.

- I, uh, like
my government small,

like my women.

- The Twittersphere
is going crazy.

Our "Boyce the Choice"
hashtag is trending.

- I don'’t understand
a single word you just said.

- Boyce did good.
- Say that next time.

- Okay, look, we both
got our licks in,

so let'’s agree to keep it
above the belt from here on out.

- No, no, that'’s not
the way it works.

You'’re one of us now,
Pastor, okay?

The difference is,
I'’ve been here before.

- Yeah, I know.

It'’s not your first rodeo.
- Oh!

- Okay, okay, that'’s funny.
I'’m gonna destroy you.

- Yeah, well,
bring it, man--

- Yeah, you know,
why don'’t you

stay out of
my husband'’s face?

- Why don'’t you
rein your husband in?

- Oh, that'’s a good one.
- Oh!

- Shut up, you quack.

- Quack?
Who you calling quack? Me?

- Don'’t point your finger
at my husband'’s face.

[all shouting at once]

- And we'’re
back live in five...

[dramatic fanfare]

Four, three,

two,

one.

- I'’d like to thank
all of the candidates

for being here tonight
for what turned out to be

a very spirited debate.

From all of us at KTAZ,
good night,

and I'’m sorry.

[dramatic fanfare]

- You [bleep]!
- Yeah--

- We are still on.

- Hey, somebody'’s
got my wallet.

[soul music]

♪

- ♪ The soul man

- ♪ Hey