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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,588 --> 00:00:04,073 Cain and Abel. 2 00:00:04,176 --> 00:00:06,592 The first siblings on Earth, and what happens? 3 00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:09,147 One of them kills the other. 4 00:00:09,250 --> 00:00:10,355 His own brother. 5 00:00:10,458 --> 00:00:13,116 And this was before bunk beds. 6 00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:16,016 Now, I'm not condoning what Cain did, 7 00:00:16,119 --> 00:00:19,985 but anybody with a brother understands the impulse. 8 00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:24,024 Of course, our siblings are a gift from God. 9 00:00:24,127 --> 00:00:25,922 But every now and then, 10 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,545 we wish God had just given us a gift card. 11 00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:37,554 Nikki, are you eating my sandwich? 12 00:00:37,658 --> 00:00:39,936 Oh, is this yours? 13 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,593 How was I supposed to know? 14 00:00:41,696 --> 00:00:44,458 I had my initials on it. B.B. 15 00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:46,770 Boyce Ballentine? 16 00:00:46,874 --> 00:00:47,909 That could have been any B.B. 17 00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:50,291 That could have been Barry Bonds. 18 00:00:50,395 --> 00:00:53,605 Why would Barry Bonds have his lunch in our refrigerator? 19 00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:57,850 I don't know, steroids make people do crazy things. 20 00:00:57,954 --> 00:00:59,783 By the way, I'm not going to be here on Friday. 21 00:00:59,887 --> 00:01:00,922 Why? 22 00:01:01,026 --> 00:01:03,373 I've got a lady situation. 23 00:01:03,477 --> 00:01:04,892 Wh-What is it? 24 00:01:04,995 --> 00:01:07,722 Okay, you can't ask about a lady situation. 25 00:01:07,826 --> 00:01:10,518 It's harass-y. 26 00:01:10,622 --> 00:01:12,244 I'm adding that to your file. 27 00:01:12,348 --> 00:01:14,108 I don't believe you have a file. 28 00:01:14,212 --> 00:01:16,697 That would actually mean you did some work around here. 29 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,700 Oh. Unprovoked hostility. 30 00:01:19,803 --> 00:01:21,011 That's going in your file too. 31 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,496 [arguing] 32 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:23,980 Hey, girl! 33 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,257 Oh, Marshawn! 34 00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:26,396 I'm so excited. 35 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:27,432 [laughing] 36 00:01:27,535 --> 00:01:30,400 Marshawn. Long time, no see. 37 00:01:30,504 --> 00:01:32,713 Okay, what kind of trouble are you two getting into? 38 00:01:32,816 --> 00:01:34,370 Nothin'. 39 00:01:34,473 --> 00:01:36,855 Nah, nah, nah, nah. This is definitely something. 40 00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:38,546 You asked for Friday off. 41 00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:39,823 And then Marshawn done walked in here 42 00:01:39,927 --> 00:01:41,342 with her good hair on. 43 00:01:41,446 --> 00:01:43,206 [audience laughter] 44 00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:46,175 Is this Chocolate Chicks Weekend? 45 00:01:46,278 --> 00:01:49,730 No! 46 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:50,834 Don't tell Lolli! 47 00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:52,388 See, I knew it. 48 00:01:52,491 --> 00:01:54,562 Marshawn, why don't you take your big mouth 49 00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:55,736 and go wait in the car. 50 00:01:58,428 --> 00:02:00,223 I can't believe it. 51 00:02:00,327 --> 00:02:02,639 You're doing Chocolate Chicks and you didn't invite Lolli? 52 00:02:02,743 --> 00:02:05,918 No! And you know who's to blame? 53 00:02:06,022 --> 00:02:07,989 You. You became a pastor. 54 00:02:08,093 --> 00:02:09,543 And the Chicks don't want a preacher's wife 55 00:02:09,646 --> 00:02:10,751 cramping their style. 56 00:02:10,854 --> 00:02:12,753 Lolli don't do like we do anymore. 57 00:02:12,856 --> 00:02:15,583 So y'all going behind her back. You know, that's just evil. 58 00:02:15,687 --> 00:02:16,929 Sometimes I don't even know 59 00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:18,759 how you can walk through the church threshold 60 00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:20,761 without bursting into flames. 61 00:02:20,864 --> 00:02:22,487 Oh, come on, Boyce. 62 00:02:22,590 --> 00:02:24,420 Taking Lolli with us is just like 63 00:02:24,523 --> 00:02:25,904 having Jesus there. 64 00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:28,803 He don't need to see all that. 65 00:02:28,907 --> 00:02:31,392 Me and the Chicks, we goin' to turn Chicago out. 66 00:02:31,496 --> 00:02:33,394 Shoot! We goin' to do a little bit of this. 67 00:02:33,498 --> 00:02:34,706 ♪ Hey-ay! 68 00:02:34,809 --> 00:02:35,672 And a little bit of that. 69 00:02:35,776 --> 00:02:36,673 ♪ Oh! 70 00:02:36,777 --> 00:02:38,123 ♪ Uh-uh! Hah! 71 00:02:38,227 --> 00:02:39,297 And then we gonna go here. 72 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,574 [trilling] Ha ha! 73 00:02:40,677 --> 00:02:41,609 [trilling] Ha ha! 74 00:02:41,713 --> 00:02:42,645 Whoo! Ha ha! 75 00:02:42,748 --> 00:02:43,853 And then we gonna go. 76 00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:46,096 Hah! Oooh! Hah! Oooh! 77 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,443 Oh! 78 00:02:47,546 --> 00:02:48,927 You're right. 79 00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:52,689 Jesus don't need to see all that right there. 80 00:02:52,793 --> 00:02:55,692 [soul music] 81 00:02:55,796 --> 00:03:02,768 ♪ 82 00:03:02,872 --> 00:03:05,115 ♪ Hey 83 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:09,603 ♪ The soul man 84 00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:11,950 But, Boyce, I started Chocolate Chicks. 85 00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:13,296 Yes, you did! 86 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,266 I laid the chocolate eggs they hatched from. 87 00:03:17,369 --> 00:03:19,095 You're the mother hen! 88 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,752 Them doing this without me 89 00:03:20,855 --> 00:03:22,892 is like Destiny's Child without Beyonce. 90 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:24,825 Ain't nobody buying that ticket! 91 00:03:24,928 --> 00:03:27,172 [laughing] That's right, babe. 92 00:03:27,276 --> 00:03:30,279 Plus Nikki talkin' about they gonna go all here with it. 93 00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:31,659 And they just gonna do it like this. 94 00:03:31,763 --> 00:03:34,628 She was like, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! 95 00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:37,596 Hah! Hah! I was like, huh! 96 00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,460 Boyce, see? 97 00:03:39,564 --> 00:03:40,806 They think I'm boring because I'm a preacher's wife! 98 00:03:40,910 --> 00:03:42,463 I can go there with it! 99 00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:44,396 Hold my hand! 100 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,329 I can go there with it! 101 00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:48,676 Babe, that's all you gotta do is prove it to them. 102 00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:50,471 Don't let them put you in no box. 103 00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:52,853 Call Nikki and let her know that you're goin'. 104 00:03:52,956 --> 00:03:54,510 That's exactly what I'm gonna do. 105 00:03:54,613 --> 00:03:55,614 Oh, wait a minute! 106 00:03:55,718 --> 00:03:57,237 What are you gonna do all weekend? 107 00:03:57,340 --> 00:03:59,066 Oh, I'm gonna be fine. 108 00:03:59,169 --> 00:04:02,552 I got a long list of stuff I need to do around this house. 109 00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:05,969 Like watch TV and eat pizza in your drawers? 110 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,041 Those are on the list. 111 00:04:10,698 --> 00:04:12,390 Hey, guys. 112 00:04:12,493 --> 00:04:14,392 Stamps, we're in the middle of something. 113 00:04:14,495 --> 00:04:15,703 Don't mind me. Just doing some laundry. 114 00:04:15,807 --> 00:04:17,291 I'm not even here. 115 00:04:17,395 --> 00:04:20,225 You're not even here a lot. 116 00:04:20,329 --> 00:04:22,745 Look, if you and Stamps get hungry this weekend, 117 00:04:22,848 --> 00:04:24,056 I got some steaks in the freezer. 118 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,437 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 119 00:04:25,541 --> 00:04:27,059 I am tired of feeding Stamps. 120 00:04:27,163 --> 00:04:29,199 This is gonna be a Stamps-free weekend. 121 00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:32,962 I'm gonna lock myself in and binge-watch Game Of Thrones. 122 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:36,862 20 hours of blood, guts, and naked butts. 123 00:04:36,966 --> 00:04:39,140 I gotta catch up on it before people ruin it for me. 124 00:04:39,244 --> 00:04:42,247 Okay, well, you go ahead and watch that without me. 125 00:04:42,351 --> 00:04:44,042 'Cause when I heard about that family getting all stabbed up 126 00:04:44,145 --> 00:04:45,112 at that wedding, I said-- 127 00:04:45,215 --> 00:04:47,701 Dah-dah-dah-dah! Dah-da-da! 128 00:04:47,804 --> 00:04:49,496 Ah! No, no, no! Don't you do that! 129 00:04:49,599 --> 00:04:50,980 You're doing it now! You're doing it. 130 00:04:54,224 --> 00:04:55,916 What are you doing? 131 00:04:56,019 --> 00:04:57,435 Uh, washing my hats. 132 00:04:59,989 --> 00:05:02,923 You know that's a dishwasher, right? 133 00:05:03,026 --> 00:05:04,234 I got this trick from Goop, 134 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,927 Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle blog. 135 00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:09,239 So that's why I got a sink full of dirty dishes? 136 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,689 Well, I had to unload 'em. 137 00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:11,656 I don't want your food on my hats. 138 00:05:11,759 --> 00:05:12,795 That's nasty. 139 00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:16,108 All right, I just bought my ticket. 140 00:05:16,212 --> 00:05:18,594 Chocolate Chicks weekend, here I come. 141 00:05:18,697 --> 00:05:21,631 Ooh, I saw that on Goop. 142 00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:23,737 They're still doing Chocolate Chicks? 143 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:24,807 Oh, that's great, man! 144 00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:26,153 Guys' weekend! 145 00:05:26,256 --> 00:05:27,257 Two men being manly. 146 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,397 Manning it up. 147 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,744 Getting our man on. 148 00:05:30,847 --> 00:05:33,850 You know what, Stamps, that would be nice, 149 00:05:33,954 --> 00:05:37,233 but I...am...uh, leaving. 150 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,717 I--first thing in the morning, 151 00:05:38,821 --> 00:05:41,893 crack of dawn, I'm going to a church retreat. 152 00:05:41,996 --> 00:05:43,584 Well, that's cool, man. Maybe I'll join you. 153 00:05:43,688 --> 00:05:44,792 They got food there? 154 00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:46,518 Yeah, yeah, there gonna be food 155 00:05:46,622 --> 00:05:51,385 and prayer and Bible study and we're gonna go real deep 156 00:05:51,489 --> 00:05:54,871 into Corinthians, yes. 157 00:05:54,975 --> 00:05:56,908 Uh...it's gonna be great. 158 00:05:57,011 --> 00:05:59,186 I mean, no Internet, no phone, no women-- 159 00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:01,740 No Stamps. You have fun. 160 00:06:01,844 --> 00:06:05,295 Well, that's--that's too bad. You'll be missed. 161 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:09,438 I had him at Corinthians. 162 00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:10,922 [birds tweeting] 163 00:06:11,025 --> 00:06:13,234 Yes! 164 00:06:13,338 --> 00:06:15,029 Oh! Hey, Nikki. 165 00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:18,516 Thank you so much for taking Lolli to the airport. 166 00:06:18,619 --> 00:06:21,691 My pleasure, snitch. 167 00:06:21,795 --> 00:06:24,142 You ain't from the streets no more. 168 00:06:24,245 --> 00:06:26,972 [grumbling] Hey, Lolli! 169 00:06:27,076 --> 00:06:28,871 I am so excited you're coming this year. 170 00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:31,183 Mmm-hmm. 171 00:06:31,287 --> 00:06:34,980 All right, you two have fun now, okay? 172 00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:37,431 And, uh, I expect to see my first lady 173 00:06:37,535 --> 00:06:38,639 on Sunday, right? 174 00:06:38,743 --> 00:06:39,882 We have a baptism. 175 00:06:39,985 --> 00:06:41,539 Baby, I will be there. 176 00:06:41,642 --> 00:06:43,092 All right. 177 00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:46,060 Chocolate Chicks Weekend, here I come. 178 00:06:48,235 --> 00:06:49,961 Yay! 179 00:06:50,064 --> 00:06:51,514 I hope you happy. 180 00:06:51,618 --> 00:06:53,171 Couldn't be happier. 181 00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:55,863 Okay, bye bye, now. 182 00:06:55,967 --> 00:06:58,107 Yes! 183 00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,212 "All men must die! 184 00:07:00,316 --> 00:07:02,249 For winter is coming." 185 00:07:03,975 --> 00:07:06,805 And so is my meat lover's pizza. 186 00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:08,669 Oh, he just stabbed him! 187 00:07:08,773 --> 00:07:10,947 Uh, hello? Yes. 188 00:07:11,051 --> 00:07:13,018 Um, the name's Ballentine. 189 00:07:13,122 --> 00:07:15,020 I should be in your system. 190 00:07:15,124 --> 00:07:17,264 Yeah, I'd like the usual. 191 00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:21,026 You know, do y'all have a salad? 192 00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:23,097 No? You know what, don't even worry about it. 193 00:07:24,927 --> 00:07:25,997 Hah! One more! 194 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,655 Ah! And the other arm. 195 00:07:28,758 --> 00:07:30,035 Yeah, okay, all right. 196 00:07:30,139 --> 00:07:33,314 Naked boobies for no reason, all right. 197 00:07:33,418 --> 00:07:36,490 I don't get it, but I ain't mad. 198 00:07:36,594 --> 00:07:38,596 Oh, come on, Tyrion! 199 00:07:38,699 --> 00:07:40,667 De-leg-ify him! 200 00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:42,289 Ah! 201 00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:43,808 Heh heh heh. 202 00:07:43,911 --> 00:07:45,775 Whew, all this killing makes a man thirsty. 203 00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:51,056 Ah-ha...stand aside or be slaughtered! 204 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,576 Hah, hah, aaah! 205 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,821 The land of my father shall run red with thy blood. 206 00:07:58,581 --> 00:08:01,308 Libations for my men! 207 00:08:01,411 --> 00:08:03,862 The king must have his ale. 208 00:08:05,899 --> 00:08:08,039 [chuckling] 209 00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:10,869 Oh, the king's ale may not be a twist-off. 210 00:08:10,973 --> 00:08:12,975 Oh! Ah! 211 00:08:13,078 --> 00:08:15,046 Aaaah! My back! 212 00:08:15,149 --> 00:08:17,082 Oh, oh! 213 00:08:17,186 --> 00:08:18,221 Ow! Eh! 214 00:08:18,325 --> 00:08:19,499 Help! 215 00:08:19,602 --> 00:08:20,638 Anybody! 216 00:08:20,741 --> 00:08:22,225 King down! 217 00:08:22,329 --> 00:08:24,055 King down! 218 00:08:26,091 --> 00:08:27,196 I gotta get to my feet. 219 00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:28,369 Oh, God, I can do this. 220 00:08:28,473 --> 00:08:30,682 Ah! I'm a grown-ass man. 221 00:08:30,786 --> 00:08:34,790 Ah, aah! Mama! 222 00:08:34,893 --> 00:08:37,862 I--I ca--I hear you. My cell phone. 223 00:08:37,965 --> 00:08:39,346 It's in the living room. 224 00:08:39,449 --> 00:08:41,693 Okay. All right, here we go. 225 00:08:41,797 --> 00:08:45,732 [grunting] 226 00:08:45,835 --> 00:08:47,837 [groaning] 227 00:08:47,941 --> 00:08:49,149 Whoo! 228 00:08:49,252 --> 00:08:51,185 [stammering] 229 00:08:51,289 --> 00:08:52,670 Please... 230 00:08:52,773 --> 00:08:54,154 Yee! 231 00:08:54,257 --> 00:08:56,605 Agh... Gah! 232 00:08:56,708 --> 00:08:58,192 Come on, come on. 233 00:08:58,296 --> 00:09:02,024 Siri! Call somebody! 234 00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:03,612 Oh, got to take a break. 235 00:09:03,715 --> 00:09:05,855 Okay... All right... 236 00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:07,892 Ahh... 237 00:09:08,996 --> 00:09:10,066 [straining] 238 00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:13,207 Stam--Stamps! 239 00:09:13,311 --> 00:09:15,555 [Boyce] Hey-- [stammering] 240 00:09:18,799 --> 00:09:22,596 Stamps! Stamps! 241 00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:30,190 Take off the headphones! 242 00:09:30,293 --> 00:09:33,434 [sensual music playing] 243 00:09:33,538 --> 00:09:35,540 What are you-- What are you doing? 244 00:09:35,644 --> 00:09:37,749 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! 245 00:09:40,994 --> 00:09:42,927 [gasps] What the-- 246 00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,308 Boyce? 247 00:09:45,412 --> 00:09:46,862 What--I thought you were out of town! 248 00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:49,589 In town, out of town, never okay. 249 00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:53,523 [laughter] Oh, stop, girl. 250 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,077 Where is Lolli? 251 00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:57,424 I don't know. I knocked on her door... 252 00:09:57,527 --> 00:09:59,944 Very softly. [laughter] 253 00:10:00,047 --> 00:10:01,359 Maybe we should go in without her. 254 00:10:01,462 --> 00:10:02,774 You know, she is a preacher's wife. 255 00:10:02,878 --> 00:10:04,258 She got to forgive us. 256 00:10:04,362 --> 00:10:06,088 Praise the Lord. 257 00:10:06,191 --> 00:10:07,330 [dance music playing] 258 00:10:07,434 --> 00:10:09,470 - Oh! - Whoo! 259 00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:10,679 - Yes! - Hey! 260 00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:11,680 Oh, my, yes. 261 00:10:11,783 --> 00:10:13,682 - Oh-- - What-- 262 00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:16,512 ♪ 263 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,307 Ooh! Hey, chicks! 264 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,033 Excuse me, young thang. 265 00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:23,036 Ooh! Oh, sorry, y'all. 266 00:10:23,139 --> 00:10:24,313 I got here a little early. 267 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:27,661 Too early to put some clothes on? 268 00:10:27,765 --> 00:10:29,007 Does Boyce know you dress like that? 269 00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:31,561 This weekend I am not a first lady. 270 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:34,047 I am a chocolate chick. 271 00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:36,636 All right, then. Let's go get a table. 272 00:10:36,739 --> 00:10:38,258 Oh, no, no, no. 273 00:10:38,361 --> 00:10:39,639 'Cause if I'm sittin' on all this, 274 00:10:39,742 --> 00:10:41,088 then nobody can see it. 275 00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:43,056 To the bar, ladies. 276 00:10:43,159 --> 00:10:44,436 Chocolate chicks! 277 00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:45,714 [all] What, what! 278 00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:47,474 - [laughs] - What are we drinking? 279 00:10:47,577 --> 00:10:49,649 All right, so do we get white wine or red? 280 00:10:49,752 --> 00:10:52,030 Oh, should we get a bottle or is that just too crazy? 281 00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:54,101 Bartender, a round of Incredible Hulks. 282 00:10:54,205 --> 00:10:55,102 What? 283 00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:56,138 Two parts Hpnotiq, 284 00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:57,795 three parts Hennessy, 285 00:10:57,898 --> 00:11:00,349 with a shot of I've been drinkin' on the side. 286 00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:01,764 - Girl, okay. - I'm sorry, 287 00:11:01,868 --> 00:11:03,386 why do they call it the Incredible Hulk? 288 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:04,940 'Cause after you drink it, 289 00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:07,597 you wanna rip off your clothes and go, aah! 290 00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:08,944 [all] Aah! 291 00:11:09,047 --> 00:11:10,428 Ow! Aah! 292 00:11:10,531 --> 00:11:11,947 - Ow, ah, ow. - [exhales heavily] 293 00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:12,982 [groans] 294 00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:14,018 There you go. 295 00:11:14,121 --> 00:11:15,916 Hoo! 296 00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,849 Stamps, what are you doing 297 00:11:17,953 --> 00:11:19,057 breaking into my house 298 00:11:19,161 --> 00:11:22,129 and watching $20 porn? 299 00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:24,304 Nobody pays for porn anymore! 300 00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:26,409 Technically, I didn't pay for it. 301 00:11:26,513 --> 00:11:27,721 You did. 302 00:11:27,825 --> 00:11:29,240 And wh--what are you doing here, man? 303 00:11:29,343 --> 00:11:30,862 You said you were going on a church retreat 304 00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:32,761 at the crack of dawn. 305 00:11:32,864 --> 00:11:34,279 That's right, I did. 306 00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:36,143 And, uh, just as I was leaving, 307 00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:37,455 I hurt my back. 308 00:11:37,558 --> 00:11:39,388 You've been flat on your back all day? 309 00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:41,942 - Why didn't you call me? - I couldn't reach my phone. 310 00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:43,012 [doorbell rings] 311 00:11:43,116 --> 00:11:44,876 I'll get it. 312 00:11:46,878 --> 00:11:48,742 Delivery for Boyce Ballentine. 313 00:11:48,846 --> 00:11:50,848 Pizza? Who called for pizza? 314 00:11:50,951 --> 00:11:52,781 You know, I must have butt-dialed 315 00:11:52,884 --> 00:11:54,921 when I fell down or something. 316 00:11:55,024 --> 00:11:56,819 But you just said you couldn't reach your phone. 317 00:11:56,923 --> 00:12:00,167 What are you, Law and Order: Special Pizza Unit or something? 318 00:12:00,271 --> 00:12:02,100 I can't believe you. 319 00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,102 Um, can one of y'all pay me? 320 00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:07,278 I'm a little uncomfortable with the hardcore porn. 321 00:12:07,381 --> 00:12:10,281 Okay--okay, I-I know there's a pizza guy in it, 322 00:12:10,384 --> 00:12:11,938 but it's just a coincidence. 323 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:17,771 - Mmm. - Mmm! 324 00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:19,186 [all] [exclaiming] 325 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,533 Ooh, these drinks are kicking my behind. 326 00:12:21,637 --> 00:12:23,294 Y'all are some lightweights, that's why. 327 00:12:23,397 --> 00:12:26,676 I'm gonna divorce my husband. 328 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,782 Okay, we are cutting you off. 329 00:12:28,886 --> 00:12:30,750 - Yes. - [laughs] 330 00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:32,234 Lolli, honey! 331 00:12:32,337 --> 00:12:34,581 You're coming out of your top. 332 00:12:34,684 --> 00:12:36,203 No. 333 00:12:36,307 --> 00:12:38,033 Now I'm coming out of my top. 334 00:12:38,136 --> 00:12:39,931 [women shrieking and laughing] 335 00:12:40,035 --> 00:12:42,175 - Hey, excuse me. - What? 336 00:12:42,278 --> 00:12:43,624 Would you mind taking a picture of us? 337 00:12:43,728 --> 00:12:45,212 It's my friend Jasper's bachelor party. 338 00:12:45,316 --> 00:12:47,697 Uh, yeah. [chuckling] 339 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,631 Okay, uh, this is so sad. 340 00:12:50,735 --> 00:12:51,943 Who's--who's-- who's Jasper? 341 00:12:52,047 --> 00:12:53,324 You? 342 00:12:53,427 --> 00:12:54,739 Okay, have no fear, okay. 343 00:12:54,843 --> 00:12:57,190 The chocolate chicks are here. 344 00:12:57,293 --> 00:13:00,780 Uh, girls, come on, let's send this boy off right. 345 00:13:00,883 --> 00:13:02,643 I promised my fiancee I wouldn't do anything too crazy. 346 00:13:02,747 --> 00:13:04,059 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, don't worry, 347 00:13:04,162 --> 00:13:07,165 because I am a pastor's wife. 348 00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:08,511 Chocolate chicks! 349 00:13:08,615 --> 00:13:09,858 [all] What, what! 350 00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:12,136 Chocolate chicks! [all] What, what! 351 00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:15,104 [dance music] 352 00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:17,003 ♪ 353 00:13:17,106 --> 00:13:18,176 Who brought the party? 354 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,660 [all] Lolli! 355 00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:21,007 Say my name. 356 00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:22,008 [all] Lolli! 357 00:13:22,111 --> 00:13:23,630 Lolli! 358 00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:25,149 You can handle this, baby. 359 00:13:25,252 --> 00:13:28,359 It's just baby fat and fibroids! 360 00:13:28,462 --> 00:13:30,844 Jasper, what's your fiancee's name? 361 00:13:30,948 --> 00:13:32,673 Sheila-- I mean, Shelly. 362 00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:35,193 What's your first dance with Shelly gonna be like? 363 00:13:35,297 --> 00:13:36,608 Y'all gonna do something like this? 364 00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:38,541 [cheering] 365 00:13:38,645 --> 00:13:39,577 Let me get some of that! 366 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,096 - Hey! - Hey! Hey! 367 00:13:41,199 --> 00:13:46,170 [cheering] 368 00:13:46,273 --> 00:13:47,309 Jasper! 369 00:13:47,412 --> 00:13:49,035 - Shelly! - Who? 370 00:13:49,138 --> 00:13:50,830 Get off my fiance. 371 00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:52,348 Okay, that's it. The party is over. 372 00:13:52,452 --> 00:13:54,937 Get off of him. Get off of him! 373 00:13:55,041 --> 00:13:56,525 Hello. [laughs] 374 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,423 I'm Regina. Congratulations. 375 00:13:58,527 --> 00:13:59,839 This how your man like to do it. 376 00:13:59,942 --> 00:14:01,219 [all] [exclaiming] 377 00:14:01,323 --> 00:14:03,014 Okay-- 378 00:14:03,118 --> 00:14:05,499 I know you not up in here partying with these ratchets. 379 00:14:05,603 --> 00:14:07,398 Oh! What! Oh, hold on. 380 00:14:07,501 --> 00:14:09,400 I know you didn't call us ratchet. 381 00:14:09,503 --> 00:14:12,230 We are the chocolate chicks, and we are from St. Louis. 382 00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:13,197 [all] [exclaiming] 383 00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,508 Ooh, guess what. 384 00:14:14,612 --> 00:14:16,476 We from the Lou too, boo. 385 00:14:16,579 --> 00:14:17,546 Okay, calm down, everybody. 386 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:18,858 Let me just explain. 387 00:14:18,961 --> 00:14:20,652 Okay, this may be my fault. 388 00:14:20,756 --> 00:14:22,171 I was just trying to prove 389 00:14:22,275 --> 00:14:23,345 that a preacher's wife could still party. 390 00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:24,760 [all] Mm-hmm. 391 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,658 - You're a preacher's wife. - Right. 392 00:14:26,762 --> 00:14:27,867 Well, say a prayer. 393 00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:29,075 - [grunts] [all] Oh! 394 00:14:29,178 --> 00:14:32,181 [indistinct shouting] 395 00:14:32,285 --> 00:14:36,289 [all screaming] 396 00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:38,187 Too close to me! You're too close! 397 00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:39,188 You're just too close! 398 00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:41,363 [all shouting] 399 00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:43,779 Stamps, look, don't take this personally, 400 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,023 but I just needed some me time. 401 00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:49,716 And not the kind of me time you was about to have on my couch. 402 00:14:49,819 --> 00:14:51,097 Why don't you just admit it, man? 403 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,615 You don't wanna hang out with me. 404 00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:54,272 Look, calm down, man. 405 00:14:54,376 --> 00:14:55,653 I just needed a little break. 406 00:14:55,756 --> 00:14:57,310 A break? A break from what, man? 407 00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:59,070 I mean, tell me, what have I done to you, huh? 408 00:14:59,174 --> 00:15:00,244 I'd love to hear it. 409 00:15:00,347 --> 00:15:02,487 Are you serious? 410 00:15:02,591 --> 00:15:04,834 Look, first, you borrow my car. 411 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,629 Then you eat up all my food. 412 00:15:06,733 --> 00:15:09,909 And then yesterday, you put your hats in my dishwasher 413 00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:12,601 because some crazy white lady told you to. 414 00:15:13,809 --> 00:15:14,810 Gwyneth is not crazy. 415 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,398 She's just misunderstood. 416 00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:17,813 I don't care. 417 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,126 You know what? Forget you. Forget you, man. 418 00:15:20,229 --> 00:15:23,060 I'm taking my half of the pizza and I'm getting out of here. 419 00:15:24,233 --> 00:15:25,648 How is it half yours? 420 00:15:29,376 --> 00:15:30,757 [grunts] 421 00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:34,209 Dahh! 422 00:15:34,312 --> 00:15:36,176 Okay, all right, all right now. 423 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,145 Aah! Ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 424 00:15:39,248 --> 00:15:40,594 Whoo! 425 00:15:40,698 --> 00:15:41,664 Ahh. 426 00:15:41,768 --> 00:15:43,149 Mmm. 427 00:15:43,252 --> 00:15:45,875 Mmm, that's worth it right there. 428 00:15:48,775 --> 00:15:52,227 [organ gospel music] [rhythmic clapping] 429 00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,367 ♪ 430 00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:55,885 Here you go. 431 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,922 - What's this for? - Last night. 432 00:15:58,026 --> 00:16:00,373 Don't ever say I didn't pay for my half of the pizza. 433 00:16:00,476 --> 00:16:02,513 $3.00? 434 00:16:02,616 --> 00:16:04,377 It was a $15 pizza. 435 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,310 I didn't ask for all that meat! 436 00:16:08,243 --> 00:16:11,798 [organ music and clapping continues] 437 00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:13,834 [organ and clapping stops] 438 00:16:13,938 --> 00:16:15,975 Is that--is that it? 439 00:16:16,078 --> 00:16:17,700 That--that's the whole song? 440 00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,875 All right, all right, here we go. 441 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,498 Oh! All right... 442 00:16:22,602 --> 00:16:24,190 Here I come, y'all. 443 00:16:24,293 --> 00:16:26,226 Comin', on the way. All right. 444 00:16:26,330 --> 00:16:30,023 Mm! All right. Ooh, thank you. 445 00:16:30,127 --> 00:16:32,681 God, I didn't realize this thing was that far away. 446 00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:36,340 Um...will the candidates for baptism please come forward? 447 00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:41,621 Lolli. 448 00:16:41,724 --> 00:16:44,451 [whispering] Boyce...stop screaming! 449 00:16:44,555 --> 00:16:46,522 I'm not screaming. 450 00:16:46,626 --> 00:16:48,766 What--how much did you have to drink? 451 00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:50,285 I can't remember. 452 00:16:52,770 --> 00:16:55,945 We are here for the baptism 453 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:59,225 of Josiah Brandon 454 00:16:59,328 --> 00:17:02,952 Malik Lavante Williams. 455 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:06,749 Y'all named the baby after everybody, didn't you? 456 00:17:06,853 --> 00:17:08,579 [baby fusses] Uh-uh! Uh-uh! 457 00:17:12,410 --> 00:17:14,033 What's wrong, little man? 458 00:17:14,136 --> 00:17:16,345 My baby brother gets on my nerves. 459 00:17:16,449 --> 00:17:18,140 I feel you, man. 460 00:17:18,244 --> 00:17:19,866 I got a brother too. 461 00:17:19,969 --> 00:17:22,662 I mean, brothers-- they always steal your food. 462 00:17:22,765 --> 00:17:24,215 They hang around all the time. 463 00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:26,631 They do inappropriate things on your couch. 464 00:17:26,735 --> 00:17:29,048 Like get crumbs on it. 465 00:17:29,151 --> 00:17:30,566 I wish. 466 00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:34,846 So you hate your brother too? 467 00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:39,127 No. No! 468 00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:41,577 No, no. I don't hate my brother. 469 00:17:41,681 --> 00:17:43,821 That's--that's my brother. I mean... 470 00:17:43,924 --> 00:17:48,067 We get into it, sure, but that's what brothers do. 471 00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:49,551 Boyce, if you don't want 472 00:17:49,654 --> 00:17:51,070 your first lady face down on this carpet, 473 00:17:51,173 --> 00:17:52,726 get to baptizing. 474 00:17:52,830 --> 00:17:55,660 All right. Time to hold the baby. 475 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,732 Give...that...ooh! 476 00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:00,907 Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh! This... 477 00:18:01,010 --> 00:18:03,116 Ooh, this a healthy baby right here, just-- 478 00:18:04,497 --> 00:18:05,877 - Here, take the baby. - Boyce... 479 00:18:05,981 --> 00:18:07,120 - Take the-- - I'm in no condition 480 00:18:07,224 --> 00:18:08,087 to hold a baby. 481 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,575 Boyce, give me the baby before you drop him. 482 00:18:13,678 --> 00:18:15,577 Okay. All right. 483 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,130 Thank you, I appreciate that. 484 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:18,890 - Hey, it's what brothers do. - Look, man-- 485 00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:21,721 OH, my God, will somebody dunk that big old baby 486 00:18:21,824 --> 00:18:23,240 so I can go lay down? 487 00:18:27,968 --> 00:18:29,004 [fighting sounds on TV] Ooh! 488 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,695 [laughing] 489 00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:33,215 Prince Oberyn, man. That's my man right there. 490 00:18:33,319 --> 00:18:36,460 Yeah? Don't get attached. 491 00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:38,220 What--he gets killed? 492 00:18:38,324 --> 00:18:40,222 - Yep. - Oh, man! 493 00:18:40,326 --> 00:18:42,328 - Don't tell me! - Don't--you asked. 494 00:18:42,431 --> 00:18:44,502 I didn't want you to tell me. 495 00:18:44,606 --> 00:18:45,848 Who did it? 496 00:18:45,952 --> 00:18:47,850 No, do-do-do-do-don't tell me. 497 00:18:47,954 --> 00:18:49,542 Was it one of them Lannisters? 498 00:18:49,645 --> 00:18:51,371 Ah! Don't tell me! Don't you tell me. 499 00:18:51,475 --> 00:18:54,719 Aw, look at the two of you watching your show. 500 00:18:54,823 --> 00:18:57,791 Why are there naked boobies in the middle of war? 501 00:18:57,895 --> 00:18:59,552 No reason. 502 00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:01,243 But I ain't mad at it. 503 00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:03,418 - Stamps-- - My nose is running, man. 504 00:19:05,765 --> 00:19:09,217 Babe, I wanna apologize 505 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,184 for not being very... 506 00:19:11,288 --> 00:19:13,290 first lady-like this morning. 507 00:19:13,393 --> 00:19:14,981 Yeah, well, you drank enough 508 00:19:15,084 --> 00:19:18,122 for the second, third, and fourth lady. 509 00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:19,399 I know, I know. 510 00:19:19,503 --> 00:19:21,850 And I'm sorry. But from now on, 511 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:24,301 I'ma be at that church whenever you need me. 512 00:19:24,404 --> 00:19:27,131 I will be on time, I will be sober, 513 00:19:27,235 --> 00:19:29,375 and I will be cute. 514 00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:32,032 All right, good, because I'm gonna need you next Saturday 515 00:19:32,136 --> 00:19:33,551 right by my side. 516 00:19:33,655 --> 00:19:34,690 We're doing a wedding. 517 00:19:34,794 --> 00:19:36,451 I am there! 518 00:19:36,554 --> 00:19:38,073 Who's getting married? 519 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,524 Oh, it's a nice little young couple, uh, 520 00:19:40,627 --> 00:19:41,904 Jasper and Shelly. 521 00:19:42,008 --> 00:19:43,354 [shudders] Ehh! 522 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,565 [stammering] 523 00:19:47,669 --> 00:19:51,949 I don't know if I can make it. 524 00:19:52,052 --> 00:19:54,952 [soul music] 525 00:19:55,055 --> 00:20:02,062 ♪ 526 00:20:11,106 --> 00:20:14,005 ♪ The soul man 527 00:20:14,109 --> 00:20:16,525 ♪ Hey 35197

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