All language subtitles for The.Soul.Man.S04E04.Voice.Over.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BurCyg_track3_[eng]

It is written
in the book of Luke

that he who humbles
himself shall be exalted.

And that's
how we should all live.

I mean, look at Jesus.

The man walked on water.

Water!

But he wasn't like,

"Oh, yo, check me out, son."

He wasn't like these rappers

who make a couple of hit records
and then call themselves God.

If anybody had the right
to call himself God,

it was Jesus.

I mean, think about it.

The man hadn't dropped
a new verse in 2,000 years,

and he's still on top
of the charts.

Now that's swag.

[Barton]
Hey, Boyce,
we need some more bread.

- Boyce?
- Oh, okay.

I'ma get the ladle
in the shot,

and I need you
to look more downtrodden.

Yeah, yeah,
that's good.

God bless you.

Boyce,
what are you doing?

Oh, I'm putting this picture
on Instagram.

Aw, man, this dude
doesn't look that homeless.

Maybe it's his first day.

Would you put that phone away
and help?

I am helping.

Boyce the Voice
lending his face to the cause.

As a celebrity,
I can do more good

for these troubled souls
by publicizing their troubles.

You know, shining my light
on their plight.

Found my hashtag.

I got 50 people to feed.

I don't need Boyce the Voice.

I need Boyce the soup server.

Afternoon, Pastor.

The soup looks
really good today.

Old family recipe.

My grandmother used
to make it with whiskey,

but we thought that might not be
the best idea here.

And, by the way,
Lewis, meet my son, Boyce.

Oh, Boyce.

Oh, oh, your daddy
talks a lot about you.

Well, you know
how he can be--

Ahh!

Can I get a squirt of that?

No offense, but I don't know
where you've been.

Sure.

Boyce, part of being a pastor

is coming down
out of the pulpit

and getting your hands dirty.

It's important
to show compassion

to all God's children.

Stamps, you idiot,
get out of that line.

What was that
about showing compassion, Dad?

He's not God's children.
He's my children.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to be frugal.

Pop, the IRS is after me.

They're claiming I didn't pay
taxes on my cupcake business.

Well, is that because you
didn't pay taxes

on your cupcake business?

Oh, so you one of them now?

Does your business pay taxes?

My business is the church.

I work for God.

Oh, that's a good angle.

It's not an angle.

It's a calling.

Ah, calling.

Good angle.

Hey, hey, Stamps,

get a picture with me
and that dude right there.

He got the gloves
with the fingers cut out.

Classic hobo.

[soul music]

♪

♪ Hey

♪ The soul man

Lolli?

Hey, girl.

What is going on in here?

Girl, my styling business
is blowing up.

Oh, so making those dead ladies
look fly at their funeral

really paid off?

Mm. Yes, it did,
and now I'm styling the living,

which is a lot better
for repeat business.

Yeah, but why aren't you
doing it at your salon?

Oh, because I'm remodeling it.

Turns out, in order
to do hair and clothing,

I needed a conditional
zone permit,

and the building inspector is
only there every other Tuesday.

- So when I went down there--
- Okay.

I don't care anymore.

Lolli, I love it.

I love it. I love it.

Oh, I hate it.
I hate it. I hate it.

I wanted to give you something
to accentuate your curves,

but you just look like
something a lion would eat.

Oh, you know what?

I got just the thing.
Hold on.

Ugh.
Coming back over.

Hold on.

There.
Try that.

Thanks.

Lolli, how can you even
work like this?

Oh, no, Nikki.
I have a system. Okay.

This is my 3:15.

That right there
is my 4:30, and--ooh!

You just sat on my 5:00.

Well, why don't you just
clear out Boyce's junk

from the spare bedroom?

Shh! Don't you let that man
hear you call his stuff "junk."

Mm-mm.
He refers to it

as the Boyce-onian Museum
of Priceless Memorabilia.

[both]
Junk.

Look, Lolli,
I'm telling you,

you got to make a stand.

Now, I lived with a hoarder
once,

and I told him it was either
30 years of the TV Guidesor me.

- And?
- And here I am.

Babe? Honey?

Yeah, babe?

I need you
to give me something.

Yes, you do.

You are the only one
who can give it to me, Boyce.

I'ma give it to you.
Come on.

So you're gonna
let me have it?

Yes.
I'm gonna let you have it.

Oh, Boyce, you're gonna let me
have this room for my business?

Get it, get it, get it,
get it, get it--

No, no, no, no, no. Babe, babe,
babe, you want the Boyce-onian?

Everything in here is a rich
tapestry of my artistic glories.

Really, Boyce?

What about this nasty jacket?
Ew. It smells like wet dog.

Dog?

Babe, this is a 100%
pony hair.

I wore this when I performed
on the Soul Train Music Awards

in 1988.

Bell and DeVoe
thought it was fly.

Biv, not so much.

Fine.

Keep your pony,

but do you have to keep all of
the rest of this stuff, Boyce?

Lolli, this is 20 years
of my life here.

I mean, a great career
of sold-out shows,

all over the world.
This stuff is valuable.

You damn right it is, Boyce,

and we can sell it on eBay.

Nikki can help us do it.

She's done it before.
We can make a ton of money.

We don't need the money.

No, no, no.
Not for us.

For charity, huh?

Well, we could give it
to your father's soup kitchen.

All this junk
ought to buy a lot of soup.

You know what?

He has been on me
about helping out down there.

Exactly.

Think about it, Boyce.

How many of your fans

would love to own a little piece
of Boyce the Voice?

I guess I am being
a little selfish

keeping all this magic
to myself.

I'm not judging,
but since you said it, I agree.

I mean, we could kill
two birds with one stone.

Ha! Two dead birds.

Come on.

Lollipop, I got the boxes.

Come on, let's go.

What's up, my coworker?

Stamps, what are you talking
about? Coworker?

You, my brother, are looking
at a freshly ordained minister.

Yeah. I did it online.

All you need is $40
and a valid email address.

Oh, and a desire
to serve the Lord.

Since when did you have
a desire to serve the Lord?

Since I got audited.

Now, when the IRS
comes looking for my profits

there won't be any profit,

because I'm
a non-profit prophet.

The second prophet's a prophet
with a "PH."

I get it, Stamps.

Ah, ah, ah.

- It's Father Stamps, now.
- No, it's not.

- You're not Catholic.
- Whoo, good,

because that abstinence thing
was not gonna work for me.

Hey, Stamps.

While you're here you want
to help us carry some boxes

- out to the car?
- I'm sorry.

I'm busy doing the Lord's work.

May God be with you, child.

You're not Catholic.

- Did he just touch my weave?
- He just touched your weave.

He just touched your weave.

Nikki, girl,
thank you so much

for helping us out
with the auction.

Oh, hey,
I am the queen of eBay.

That's how I did most
of my business.

Didn't you sell dildos
on eBay?

Oh, yeah.

Girl, I got a whole bunch of 12
to 18-inch shipping tubes,

if you need them.

- No, we're good.
- All right.

Now, the key to a good auction
is good pictures.

You're really gonna
have to work to sell these.

Oh, trust me.

I can sell this.

[funk music]

♪ Make your feet
move around ♪

♪ Get loose tonight

♪ Take that pizazz

♪ Boogie woogie woogie
in my soul ♪

[Lolli]
Okay, baby. Give me cool.

Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Okay.

Give me excited.

Okay, work it.

Give me sexy.

Yes!

- Did you get it?
- Oh, we already had it.

Those last two were for me.

All right, while
I'm uploading these pictures,

y'all need
to start pricing the items.

Hey, you know what?

Let's start
with these leather pants.

Start them out at $900.

$900?
Are you crazy?

You know what?
You right.

I bought them for $500,
and then I wore them on Arsenio,

so $1,200.

Let's say $150.

$150?

Boyce the Voice Ballentine
wore these on television.

Boyce, you got to price
them low to stir the pot.

Draw people in.

Fine. Start them low.

Babe, remember this?

My cologne.

Unctuous by Boyce Ballentine.

Smell the Voice.

I never understood
what that meant.

Yeah. Ah.

[inhales deeply]

[coughs]

Whoa.
That voice is loud.

Hey, Pop.

- So no Boyce today, huh?
- Nope.

Well, it's a shame
he didn't show up,

because we men of the cloth
have to stick together.

Take this, and eat of it.

Okay. You're gonna
have to stop talking like that.

You are not a pastor.

I am, and I don't talk
like that.

Thank you, Pastor Ballentine.

[both]
You're welcome.

Stop that.
You are not a pastor.

I think
the omniversallifechurch.org

would disagree.

Reverend Fletcher
"Stamps" Ballentine.

This doesn't mean anything.

It's laminated.

It's not about
the lamination.

It's about you
always taking shortcuts.

Trying to treat everything
like a hustle.

Being a pastor
is about helping people.

I am helping people.

I'm helping myself.

Charity begins at home,
right, Pop?

All right.
I've had enough.

Mm-hmm.
See?

Don't mock the lamination.

Come partaketh of my bounty.

This leopard print bathrobe
is the last item on the list.

We are about to take
this auction live.

Ooh, Boyce,
this is all so exciting.

Boom.

Okay, good.
Any bids, yet?

Honey,
it's only been two seconds.

I know.
I know, but come on now.

How about now?

Boyce, you got to be patient.

This auction is going
to last a few days.

I'm cool.
I'm cool.

- Okay, anything?
- Stop looking.

[funk music]

I ain't tripping.
It's still early.

Come on, people.
Let's get this going.

Are you kidding me?

This is real alligator.

Not the soup.

The boots.

If you weren't homeless, how
much would you pay for these?

Let us pray.

Oh, Lord, you're killing me.

Come on, Vera.
Just try that on, okay?

And lose the granny panties.

And take off that battle bra.

Lolli, what's going on, baby?

Boyce, these ladies
are buying my clothes

like they're going out of style,

which they are not, 'cause
Looks by Lolli is selling them.

Good for you, babe.

Oh, what's happening
with the auction?

Well, actually I--

One second.

Hold that thought.

Ooh, my bad.

Put the battle bra back on.

She lost that war
a long time ago.

Hold on, honey.

Ah.

What is wrong with you?

And I'm not asking
because I care.

I'm just asking
'cause I'm polite.

You know what's wrong with me,

Miss Queen of eBay.

My stuff's not selling.

And that's my fault?

Yes, because you
price stuff too low.

People think it's bootleg
or something.

Bootlegs that you
posed for pictures with?

You know what? You right.
I'm just frustrated.

I mean, this has been
the worst week of my life.

Honey, this is the best week
of my life.

Boyce, would it help
if I told you that this

happens all the time on eBay?

The most valuable stuff

- never sells.
- Is that true?

[laughs]

No, I was just
being polite again.

Honey, this is going
so well.

I'm killing it.

Get it. Get it. Get it.
Get it. Get it.

I'm happy for you, babe.

Ooh, um,
what about you?

How are things
going with the auction?

It's great.

It's going great, yeah.
It's going great.

See? I knew your fans
were gonna eat that stuff up.

Yeah. Well, you just
do your thing, babe.

I'ma go in
and make a sandwich.

[woman screams]

I'm so--I'm sorry.
I wasn't looking.

I ain't see nothing.

I--babe, there's a naked lady
in there, next to the bread.

I'm sorry, Boyce.
I got women

- changing everywhere.
- It's okay.

You know what, I'm just gonna
go back down to the church.

Pervert.

She was naked,
by the bread.

Boyce,
will you tell your brother

there's more to being a pastor
than just spending $40 online?

I know, Pop.
It's usually $80.

I had a Groupon.

Guys, guys, come on.
I'm not in the mood, man.

Hey, what's going on, bro?

My eBay auction.

It was a bust.

Oh, well, that sucks.

Well, it's not like you
need the money anyway, right?

No. I was gonna
give it all to the soup kitchen.

Aw, man. Well, you can write
a check to Dad's soup kitchen.

What's really got you upset?

I don't know, man.

Lolli's business is taking off.

It's all over my house,

and she got Nikki down there
talking all kinds of trash.

There was a naked lady
in my kitchen.

No, no.

It--bumpy face Lisa.

Well, it sounds like, to me,
man, you're mad at Lolli.

Well, yeah, man.
I mean,

it was her idea
to do this whole auction thing.

And if Lolli
would have just left your things

in that room, none
of this would have happened.

Exactly.

And you would have been happy,
because you could believe

Boyce the Voice is as popular
as he was back in the day.

But now you know he isn't.

You know,
if you're trying to cheer me up,

it's not working.

Bro, maybe God was speaking
to you through eBay, you know?

Yeah, you know, telling you
that it's time to move on.

You know, sometimes, you know,
you got to let go of the past

in order to really live
in the present.

Huh? Where--
Where'd you get that, man?

Fortune cookie.

You know,
that's really smart.

Not much of a fortune
though, you know.

They never are.

I know, why is that?

I don't know.

Anyway, you got to let
go of Boyce the Voice.

He's your past, man,
and you got a new voice.

And if you ask me, that voice
is way more important.

Wow. Hey, that's deep,
Stamps, all right.

- Thanks, man.
- I got you, bro.

Aw, man.

Hey, Dad? Look,

I'm sorry if I let you down,
at the kitchen.

It's okay, son.

I know how you
can make it up.

Hey, you name it.

I need somebody
for the breakfast shift,

tomorrow morning. 6:00 A.M.

Okay. Name anything else.

6:00 A.M.,
I'll be there.

What you told Boyce,

That was pretty good counseling.

I was just trying
to help my brother out.

In a preacherly way.

Maybe I was too quick
to judge you, son.

If you want to come
into the family business,

I want you to know
I back you 100%.

Thanks, Pop.

Now, if you want to
do it right,

you got to go to seminary.

It's hard work,
but you can make it through

in a couple of years.

Way ahead of you, Pop.

I just took a Buzzfeed quiz.

Turns out,
I may already be a bishop.

I take back what I said.

You a damn fool.

- Boyce, are you okay?
- Oh, I'm fine.

Well, I talked to Nikki,

and she told me about
what happened at the auction.

I'm sorry, babe.
I didn't know.

It's okay, Lolli.

I'm just happy
that your business

is doing great, all right?

This room is yours, now.

I'm putting the last of
Boyce the Voice in this box,

and I'm moving on.

Well, I mean, you're not even
keeping your pony hair jacket?

No. Come to find out
it's not even pony hair.

That's yak. That's
why I was sneezing like that.

Well, I am proud of you, babe.

I mean, letting go
of all your stuff.

Well, I didn't let
go of everything.

Shut up!

I do not remember Boyce
the Voice wearing that.

Oh, Cameo gave these out
at their album release party.

Yeah, I actually
had to have mine let out.

You so nasty.

You know it.

[Cameo's Candyplays]

[imitating Larry Blackmon]
Oww.

♪

It's good to have you back,
Boyce.

Yeah, so what did you end up
doing with all your stuff?

I donated it to Goodwill.

In retrospect, I wish I
hadn't taken it to the one right

around the corner.

Well, It's nice people
are getting some use out of it.

Nice. Yeah.

Nice that I'll be reminded
of it day, after day, after day.

Thank you, Pastor Ballentine.

[all]
You're welcome.

He meant me.

Aw, man.
Is that Boyce the Voice?

There may be
three Pastor Ballentines,

but there is only one
Boyce the Voice.

I'm a huge fan.

That guy doesn't look like me.

I can see it.

Sir, can I borrow a pen?
I want to get Boyce's autograph.

I'm--fine.

He spelled "Boyce" wrong.

I'm putting this on eBay.

Good luck with that.

[soul music]

♪

♪ The soul man

♪ Hey