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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,554 --> 00:00:03,865 [exciting news theme plays] 2 00:00:03,969 --> 00:00:06,420 This is Travis Fontana, coming to you live, 3 00:00:06,523 --> 00:00:08,525 and for the fifth day in a row, the city of St. Louis 4 00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:10,527 has been shut down by this blizzard. 5 00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:12,426 Now, you could look outside your window 6 00:00:12,529 --> 00:00:16,292 and see that it is snowing, but my producers insisted 7 00:00:16,395 --> 00:00:19,674 that I come out here and prove it. 8 00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:22,298 So breaking news, it's snowing. Right? 9 00:00:22,401 --> 00:00:24,714 And be glad that you're not me while you're sitting at home 10 00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:28,131 with your families, enjoying the warmth of their company. 11 00:00:28,235 --> 00:00:30,892 Renege! Nikki, you a liar and a cheater! 12 00:00:30,996 --> 00:00:33,688 Okay, all right, first of all, you can't renege on fish, 13 00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:35,104 and you just mad 'cause you losing. 14 00:00:35,207 --> 00:00:36,691 I'm losing 'cause you cheating. 15 00:00:36,795 --> 00:00:37,658 - Oh, no, I'm not. - Hey, come on, y'all, 16 00:00:37,761 --> 00:00:39,280 It's just a game. 17 00:00:39,384 --> 00:00:40,454 - Yeah, a game with rules. - He's a crybaby. 18 00:00:40,557 --> 00:00:41,938 All right, that's enough! 19 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,836 You've been at each other's throats 20 00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:46,115 since the blizzard started. Let's just play the damn game 21 00:00:46,218 --> 00:00:48,496 and have some fun! 22 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,809 You're right, Uncle Barton. 23 00:00:50,912 --> 00:00:53,260 All right, fine, Nikki, you got any 3s? 24 00:00:53,363 --> 00:00:54,744 Go fish. 25 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,126 You know damn well you've got some 3s. 26 00:00:57,229 --> 00:00:58,575 You don't know what I got in my hand! 27 00:00:58,679 --> 00:00:59,887 You just got a 3 from Lolli a turn ago! 28 00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:02,269 Everybody, stop yelling! 29 00:01:02,372 --> 00:01:04,167 Lolli's right. Be nice to your cousin. 30 00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:06,031 She's your guest. 31 00:01:06,135 --> 00:01:08,378 She was a guest for two days. She's been here for five. 32 00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:10,173 Now, she's just a squatter. 33 00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:11,830 Oh, really? 34 00:01:11,933 --> 00:01:14,557 Which reminds me, we getting low on toilet paper, 35 00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,904 so ease up, everybody. 36 00:01:17,007 --> 00:01:19,562 Anyway, Kim, give me a call when you get this. 37 00:01:19,665 --> 00:01:21,115 I'm still stuck at Boyce's place. 38 00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:22,944 People are starting to get on my nerves. 39 00:01:23,048 --> 00:01:25,188 Uh, Stamps, we can hear you. 40 00:01:25,292 --> 00:01:27,397 And now they're eavesdropping on me. 41 00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:29,019 Just call me, please. 42 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,228 Where are my cards at? 43 00:01:30,331 --> 00:01:31,815 We put them back on the pile. 44 00:01:31,919 --> 00:01:33,472 If you want to play, you've got to stop calling 45 00:01:33,576 --> 00:01:35,819 your girlfriend in Atlanta every ten minutes. 46 00:01:35,923 --> 00:01:37,856 Oh, Uncle Barton, cut him some slack. 47 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:39,892 Long distance relationships are hard. 48 00:01:39,996 --> 00:01:42,861 My boyfriend Jameel is going out of his mind without me. 49 00:01:42,964 --> 00:01:44,518 I'm going out of my mind with you. 50 00:01:44,621 --> 00:01:46,347 Okay, I am marking you. Ooh. 51 00:01:46,451 --> 00:01:47,486 [phone chimes] 52 00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:50,696 Ooh. Oh, see, there he goes again. 53 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:52,319 Well, it's going to be hard, but me and Kim are gonna 54 00:01:52,422 --> 00:01:54,355 make this long distance relationship work. 55 00:01:54,459 --> 00:01:56,633 Mm-hmm. 56 00:01:56,737 --> 00:01:58,808 W-what do you mean, "Mm-hmm"? 57 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,844 Oh, did I say it like, "Mm-hmm"? 58 00:02:00,948 --> 00:02:04,572 'Cause I meant it more like, "Mm-hmm." 59 00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:06,574 Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:06,678 --> 00:02:08,542 All right, Boyce, your draw. It's Nikki's turn. 61 00:02:08,645 --> 00:02:12,028 Oh, hmm. Boyce, do you have any 3s? 62 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,374 All right, that's it.I quit! 63 00:02:13,478 --> 00:02:14,375 See, and that's the problem! 64 00:02:14,479 --> 00:02:16,170 [all yelling at once] 65 00:02:16,274 --> 00:02:20,278 Okay, calm down, everybody. We just cooped up and hungry. 66 00:02:20,381 --> 00:02:22,556 Okay, there's not much left in the kitchen, 67 00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:24,730 but I whipped up some mini toast points 68 00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,284 with a tangy dipping sauce. 69 00:02:26,387 --> 00:02:28,044 It's croutons and mustard. 70 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,908 We're making do. 71 00:02:30,011 --> 00:02:31,910 Lolli, they're hard as a rock. 72 00:02:32,013 --> 00:02:34,292 We're making do. 73 00:02:34,395 --> 00:02:35,465 Ugh, it tastes like-- 74 00:02:35,569 --> 00:02:37,087 We're making do! 75 00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:39,193 It's smoky, though. It's the smoky things... 76 00:02:39,297 --> 00:02:40,746 - Yeah, it's sweet and tangy. - So sweet. 77 00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:43,853 - Made with love, Lolli. - Yeah, it's real good. 78 00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:46,856 [soul music] 79 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:53,897 ♪ 80 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:56,279 ♪ Hey 81 00:02:56,383 --> 00:02:59,903 ♪ The soul man 82 00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:01,664 I mean, really. 83 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,355 I don't know why I'm the only one cleaning up. 84 00:03:03,459 --> 00:03:05,426 I wasn't the only oneplaying! 85 00:03:07,428 --> 00:03:09,085 Ooh, okay, Daddy, Daddy. 86 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,018 Come on, get the-- get the door. 87 00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:14,435 Ooh, ooh. Goodness. 88 00:03:14,539 --> 00:03:16,472 I shoveled the walk again. 89 00:03:16,575 --> 00:03:19,854 Daddy, why do you keep shoveling it while it's still snowing? 90 00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:21,856 You've got to get ahead of these things, Son. 91 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,375 I learned that in 'Nam. 92 00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:25,481 Everybody into the kitchen right now 93 00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:27,586 for a family meeting.Nikki? 94 00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:30,106 Dad, what are you talking about? You didn't fight in 'Nam. 95 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,869 I went with your mother in '88. Trust me, we fought. 96 00:03:34,973 --> 00:03:37,424 All right, listen up, everybody. 97 00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:39,840 We are in survival mode. 98 00:03:39,943 --> 00:03:42,222 The supplies are low, the cupboards are bare, 99 00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:43,637 so from this point on, 100 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:46,226 there will be no unauthorized snacking. 101 00:03:46,329 --> 00:03:47,572 Who put her in charge? 102 00:03:47,675 --> 00:03:49,125 What? You got something to say, son? 103 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,678 - Right--[stuttering] - No, no, no, do you? 104 00:03:50,782 --> 00:03:52,024 Because I-- No, no, no, Boyce. 105 00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:54,130 I been in this kitchen for five days, 106 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,236 and I ain't in the mood for no slick talk, 107 00:03:56,339 --> 00:03:59,342 but if you got something to say, 108 00:03:59,446 --> 00:04:01,171 come on, I want to hear it. 109 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,104 I like your shoes. 110 00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:06,004 Aren't they cute? [laughs] On sale for $650. 111 00:04:06,107 --> 00:04:07,523 $650? 112 00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:09,559 Oh, they cute, though. Those are nice. 113 00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:12,735 Okay, listen, we need to pool our resources and ration it, 114 00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:14,771 so whatever you've got in your pockets, purses, 115 00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:16,670 backpacks, give it to me now. 116 00:04:16,773 --> 00:04:18,982 I've got three pistachios and a Starburst. 117 00:04:19,086 --> 00:04:20,467 I've got a Twix. 118 00:04:20,570 --> 00:04:24,367 I mean, I ate one side, so it's a "Twick." 119 00:04:24,471 --> 00:04:27,059 All I got is a roll of Tums. 120 00:04:27,163 --> 00:04:30,373 After we eat all this junk, we gonna need these. 121 00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:34,791 Uh, Nikki, I notice you ain't putting nothing in the bowl. 122 00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:36,414 I didn't have nothing. 123 00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:39,209 Oh, really? Why your fingertips orange? 124 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,590 - They're not. - Yes, they are. 125 00:04:40,694 --> 00:04:42,661 That's Cheeto dust. 126 00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:44,387 You got Cheetos. 127 00:04:44,491 --> 00:04:46,216 You been up in my house eating all my food, five days. 128 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,701 Now I'm sitting up here starving, 129 00:04:47,804 --> 00:04:49,530 and you're gonna stuff on the Cheetos! 130 00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:50,842 You know what?Daddy! 131 00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:53,258 Nikki in here hoarding Cheetos! 132 00:04:53,362 --> 00:04:55,087 I don't know what you're talking about. 133 00:04:55,191 --> 00:04:56,641 Look at her. 134 00:04:56,744 --> 00:04:58,574 Here fingertips was orange a second ago. 135 00:04:58,677 --> 00:05:00,300 Boyce, for the last time, 136 00:05:00,403 --> 00:05:02,060 will you stop annoying your cousin? 137 00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,441 Man-- 138 00:05:03,544 --> 00:05:06,064 Look at her! She just ate another one! 139 00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,997 Boyce, you're embarrassing yourself now. 140 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:10,724 You know what, it's already bad enough that we stuck with Nikki. 141 00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:13,830 Now we gonna have ants. 142 00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:15,625 Hey, babe, I was gonna ask you what you-- 143 00:05:15,729 --> 00:05:16,902 Babe, I can't, I can't, I cant. 144 00:05:17,006 --> 00:05:19,422 Ba-- Boyce? 145 00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:21,666 Ooh! 146 00:05:21,769 --> 00:05:23,599 What are you doing out there? 147 00:05:23,702 --> 00:05:26,084 Babe, I'm not gonna be in that house with Nikki in there. 148 00:05:26,187 --> 00:05:27,603 Boyce, she's not that bad. 149 00:05:27,706 --> 00:05:29,950 I just caught her with orange fingers. 150 00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:31,952 - Cheetos? - Cheetos! 151 00:05:32,055 --> 00:05:35,438 I oughta put this $650 boot in--no, no. 152 00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,060 Yeah, no, no, that's what I'm talking about, baby. 153 00:05:37,164 --> 00:05:38,407 Give in to the hate. Don't even worry about it. 154 00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,236 No, I'm not, because what good would it do? 155 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,100 We can't get rid of her. Where she gonna go? 156 00:05:42,203 --> 00:05:44,758 The airports are closed, the train station is closed, 157 00:05:44,861 --> 00:05:46,207 and in two seconds, this door is about to close. 158 00:05:46,311 --> 00:05:47,968 Ooh. Okay, you right, you right. Ooh. 159 00:05:48,071 --> 00:05:52,110 Oh, my goodness, I almost lost my baby toe out there. 160 00:05:52,213 --> 00:05:53,767 Look, you know what, baby, 161 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,596 technically, the airport's not closed. 162 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:58,599 You saw on the news all them people in there camping out. 163 00:05:58,703 --> 00:06:00,290 You know, she could be one of them. 164 00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,154 You know, get her down there. 165 00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:05,123 You know, she meet some friends. It'd be like a slumber party. 166 00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:08,160 Boyce, we're not dumping your cousin at a airport. 167 00:06:08,264 --> 00:06:10,024 You know what? You right. 168 00:06:10,128 --> 00:06:12,924 You know, it'd just be too easy for her to get back here. 169 00:06:13,027 --> 00:06:14,581 [sighs] I wish I had somebody 170 00:06:14,684 --> 00:06:16,686 to drive her butt all the way back to Kansas City. 171 00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:18,792 I'ma try one of them little car service apps. 172 00:06:18,895 --> 00:06:20,034 That's what I got right there. 173 00:06:20,138 --> 00:06:21,450 No, Boyce, nobody is crazy enough 174 00:06:21,553 --> 00:06:23,348 to be driving around in this mess. 175 00:06:23,452 --> 00:06:25,488 Ha ha! Ha, one! 176 00:06:25,592 --> 00:06:27,870 There go one driver right there, crazier than a mug 177 00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:31,287 Wait, but he's charging 20 times the normal rate. 178 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,428 I know, it's gonna be like $4,000 for the ride, 179 00:06:34,532 --> 00:06:39,019 but getting Nikki out of here, priceless. 180 00:06:39,122 --> 00:06:41,021 [news theme plays] 181 00:06:41,124 --> 00:06:44,231 Hello St. Louis. Travis Fontana, still out here in the blizzard, 182 00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:46,958 and it's getting worse. It's 9 degrees. 183 00:06:47,061 --> 00:06:49,270 I mean, I would tell you the wind chill, 184 00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:52,688 but if 9 degrees don't keep your ass off the streets, 185 00:06:52,791 --> 00:06:56,588 you deserve to die. 186 00:06:56,692 --> 00:06:58,418 [doorbell rings] 187 00:06:58,521 --> 00:07:00,281 [Boyce]Coming! 188 00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:02,145 All right, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming. 189 00:07:02,249 --> 00:07:03,664 [laughs] 190 00:07:03,768 --> 00:07:06,218 Boyce, what are you doing with my suitcases? 191 00:07:06,322 --> 00:07:08,358 Uh, your ride is here. 192 00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,084 - [shivering] - Come on in. 193 00:07:10,188 --> 00:07:11,845 - Yeah. - Oh! Ooh! 194 00:07:11,948 --> 00:07:16,125 - [laughs] Hey, man. - Ooh, ooh, ooh. 195 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,368 - You the driver, right? - Yeah, that's me. 196 00:07:18,472 --> 00:07:20,440 Ooh, it's so cold outside! 197 00:07:20,543 --> 00:07:22,545 I got to put my hands in my pants to warm 'em up. 198 00:07:22,649 --> 00:07:26,860 Oh! Oh! Oh! 199 00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:30,415 Ooh. I'm Terrell. 200 00:07:30,519 --> 00:07:32,762 Uh, I'm good, bro. 201 00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:35,420 Look, man, I just need you to get my cousin out of here, man. 202 00:07:35,524 --> 00:07:36,594 What? 203 00:07:36,697 --> 00:07:37,733 I can't drive anybody anywhere. 204 00:07:37,836 --> 00:07:39,320 I hit a snowdrift. 205 00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:40,736 That's okay, man. We'll just push you out. 206 00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:42,116 No, I went through the snowdrift 207 00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,429 and hit a busload of Korean tourists. 208 00:07:44,533 --> 00:07:47,708 Oh, you poor man. Come on over here. 209 00:07:47,812 --> 00:07:50,953 - Mi casa es su casa. - Hoo, hoo, hoo. 210 00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:54,197 It is not "su casa," it's "mu casa." 211 00:07:54,301 --> 00:07:56,234 [doorbell rings] - Oh, man. 212 00:07:57,856 --> 00:07:59,202 Those are my new friends! 213 00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:03,034 No hard feelings, right? No hard feelings, right? 214 00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:04,449 No hard feelings, right? 215 00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:06,278 No hard feelings, right? 216 00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:09,972 Damn, how many buses did you hit? 217 00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:11,939 Come on, man. 218 00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:15,564 [cheers and applause] 219 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:25,746 Uh, y'all do have somebody coming to pick you up, right? 220 00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:29,163 Put that book down--y'all don't know nobody in there. 221 00:08:34,065 --> 00:08:36,861 All right, Dad, come on... 222 00:08:36,964 --> 00:08:39,001 I shoveled the walk again. 223 00:08:39,104 --> 00:08:40,934 Oh-- 224 00:08:41,037 --> 00:08:44,524 All right, new arrivals, this is how this is gonna go. 225 00:08:44,627 --> 00:08:46,180 If you want to stay here, 226 00:08:46,284 --> 00:08:49,287 you got to pitch in. We need your food. 227 00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:51,082 Lolli, they're visiting from Seoul. 228 00:08:51,185 --> 00:08:52,911 I don't think they speak English. 229 00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:54,188 Oh, um... 230 00:08:54,292 --> 00:08:57,122 [loudly, slowly] We need your food. 231 00:08:57,226 --> 00:09:01,713 Babe, babe, I don't think they speak slow, loud English either. 232 00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:04,233 Oh, um... We... 233 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:06,615 um, need... 234 00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:09,721 um, your... [chewing noises] 235 00:09:09,825 --> 00:09:12,206 - food! - All right. 236 00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:16,038 Okay. Now I see why we never win at charades. 237 00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,561 Uh...my man. 238 00:09:22,941 --> 00:09:24,736 - You looking for food? - Right. 239 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,566 Right. Food. Right! 240 00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:28,740 [chime] Was that Nikki's phone? 241 00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:31,156 [chime] 242 00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:33,262 Do you have Nikki's phone? 243 00:09:35,954 --> 00:09:37,438 Looks just like my phone. 244 00:09:37,542 --> 00:09:38,888 Mm-hmm. 245 00:09:38,992 --> 00:09:42,892 Whoo damn!Ho damn! 246 00:09:42,996 --> 00:09:44,963 I don't know who Jameel is, but... 247 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,931 this is some steamystuff-- 248 00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:48,726 scandalous stuff. 249 00:09:48,829 --> 00:09:50,866 Bro, you know that's an invasion of privacy, right? 250 00:09:50,969 --> 00:09:54,766 If there's no pass code on it, that makes it public domain. 251 00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:57,010 That's not even true. That's not true. 252 00:09:57,113 --> 00:09:59,115 [chime] Ooh hoo hoo! 253 00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:02,498 This man wants to get with his girl desperately! 254 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,672 Hoo hoo! 255 00:10:03,775 --> 00:10:04,880 Ah. Gimme that phone. You know what? 256 00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:06,536 That gives me a good idea. 257 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,193 I'm gonna text Jameel our address 258 00:10:08,297 --> 00:10:09,885 so he can come get Nikki. 259 00:10:09,988 --> 00:10:11,231 Yeah! 260 00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:13,095 Hey, baby... 261 00:10:13,198 --> 00:10:14,717 since you miss me so much, 262 00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:16,892 why don't you come get me? 263 00:10:16,995 --> 00:10:19,239 Send. [chime] 264 00:10:19,342 --> 00:10:20,965 "That's a long drive. 265 00:10:21,068 --> 00:10:24,658 Why don't you send Daddy a sexy pic to motivate me?" 266 00:10:24,762 --> 00:10:26,246 Uh-oh...ooh. 267 00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:28,351 Send a sexy pic to who? 268 00:10:28,455 --> 00:10:31,078 Man, I gotta send a sexy pic to Jameel. 269 00:10:31,182 --> 00:10:33,322 No! So he'll come get Nikki, man. 270 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,186 I want him to come get Nikki. 271 00:10:35,289 --> 00:10:37,119 Don't worry, I got it. Go like this. 272 00:10:37,222 --> 00:10:38,292 - Why? - 'Cause up close, 273 00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:40,570 it looks like a butt. 274 00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:43,470 Ready? Bam! Check that out. 275 00:10:43,573 --> 00:10:46,266 Oh...man! 276 00:10:48,026 --> 00:10:51,927 I got a nice little arm ass right there, boy. 277 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:53,998 I'm just sayin'. Okay. 278 00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:56,207 You think this gonna work? He gonna fall for it? 279 00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:58,105 Hey, I think it's sexy, and I know what it is. 280 00:10:58,209 --> 00:10:59,624 Ha ha. [chime] 281 00:10:59,728 --> 00:11:00,729 "On my way." 282 00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,385 Oh, yeah, baby! 283 00:11:02,489 --> 00:11:03,490 Bye-bye, Nikki. 284 00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:05,630 [both chuckling] 285 00:11:05,734 --> 00:11:08,322 Damn! Who is that? 286 00:11:08,426 --> 00:11:10,980 That's my arm. You saw me do it! 287 00:11:11,084 --> 00:11:12,706 What is wrong with you? 288 00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:16,814 Lolli, have you heard from your sister? 289 00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:20,369 Since you asked me a half a minute ago, no. 290 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,060 I'm sorry, okay? It's just... 291 00:11:22,164 --> 00:11:23,544 I'm losing my mind. 292 00:11:23,648 --> 00:11:25,615 I mean, what could she be doing? 293 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,239 Stamps, she's a new doctor in a big city hospital. 294 00:11:28,342 --> 00:11:29,654 You know how it is. 295 00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:32,692 Of course! [laughs] It's so obvious! 296 00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:34,279 Yeah, yeah, I watch Grey's Anatomy. 297 00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:35,280 Mm-hmm, yeah. 298 00:11:35,384 --> 00:11:36,661 She's in the E.R., yeah, 299 00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:39,008 saving a pregnant woman w-with a gunshot wound. 300 00:11:39,112 --> 00:11:40,700 Yeah, yeah. And then the baby comes, 301 00:11:40,803 --> 00:11:43,392 and she has to wrap it up, so--so she rips off her scrubs, 302 00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,394 And then the doctor, the surgeon that's working with her, 303 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:48,155 he notices her lusciousness. Mm-hmm, yeah. 304 00:11:48,259 --> 00:11:49,950 The next thing you know, they're in his Ferrari 305 00:11:50,054 --> 00:11:52,021 doin' it to Coldplay. 306 00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:53,782 That's the only explanation that makes sense. 307 00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:55,162 Come on, Stamps! 308 00:11:55,266 --> 00:11:57,130 I meant she's working a lot. 309 00:11:57,233 --> 00:11:58,959 You know what--she not going to do me like that. 310 00:11:59,063 --> 00:12:00,305 Mm-mm. Nobody does Stamps like that. 311 00:12:00,409 --> 00:12:01,686 I'ma call her and tell her 312 00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:03,343 that she can't play a player. 313 00:12:03,446 --> 00:12:05,138 - No, you're not, player! - Give it here! Give it! 314 00:12:05,241 --> 00:12:06,484 - No! No, I'm not gonna give it. - Come on now! 315 00:12:06,587 --> 00:12:07,968 You lost it. 316 00:12:08,072 --> 00:12:10,074 You don't get it back until you calm down. 317 00:12:10,177 --> 00:12:12,248 Ooh. Your phone is surprisingly cold. 318 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,806 [news theme music] 319 00:12:17,909 --> 00:12:20,463 [shivering] This is Travis Fontana, 320 00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,258 and they told me to try to interview somebody 321 00:12:22,362 --> 00:12:23,294 out in this blizzard. 322 00:12:23,397 --> 00:12:26,400 Bu-bu-bu-but guess what. 323 00:12:26,504 --> 00:12:29,645 The only person stupid enough to be out here is me. 324 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,820 Ha ha! 325 00:12:31,923 --> 00:12:35,306 I wanted to be a sportscaster. But no! 326 00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:37,204 They said, "Do the weather for a year or two. 327 00:12:37,308 --> 00:12:39,275 Get your feet wet!" 328 00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:41,415 My feet frozen! 329 00:12:41,519 --> 00:12:42,969 I hate my agent. Frank, you fired. 330 00:12:43,072 --> 00:12:45,040 Don't call me no more! 331 00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:47,732 Here you go, ladies. 332 00:12:47,836 --> 00:12:49,147 There you go. 333 00:12:49,251 --> 00:12:51,667 Y'all are from the good Korea, right? 334 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,289 [phone rings] Ooh! 335 00:12:53,393 --> 00:12:55,671 ♪ My boobies are ringing ♪ 336 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,122 Oh! Hey, Kim! 337 00:12:58,225 --> 00:12:59,917 Ooh! Not y'all. My sister's a Kim too. 338 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,228 Sorry. 339 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:06,026 Yeah... 340 00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:08,580 Yeah, girl, he's here. Hold on one second. 341 00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:11,376 So when you get this message, Kim, don't call me back. 342 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,895 - Stamps-- - Not that you would, 343 00:13:12,999 --> 00:13:14,552 because you're too busy hooking up with 344 00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:17,037 anyone with a lab coat and Ferrari. 345 00:13:17,141 --> 00:13:18,349 And by the way, Coldplay sucks. 346 00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:20,144 Stamps! 347 00:13:20,247 --> 00:13:22,560 No, I'm moving on. Stamps is out. 348 00:13:22,663 --> 00:13:24,873 Boom! Done. 349 00:13:24,976 --> 00:13:26,736 Feel good. What's up, Lolli? 350 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,359 Kim's on the phone. 351 00:13:28,462 --> 00:13:30,016 She's been in surgery all day, 352 00:13:30,119 --> 00:13:31,914 and that's why she couldn't call you. 353 00:13:32,018 --> 00:13:34,296 Hey, babe, you might get a voicemail 354 00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:36,022 from a dude that soundlike me. 355 00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:37,506 Mm-hmm! 356 00:13:40,405 --> 00:13:43,477 Wait a minute-- Whose ass is on my phone? 357 00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:49,345 Oh, that's not real. That's elbow butt. 358 00:13:49,449 --> 00:13:51,796 Boyce sent it. Everybody's doing it. 359 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:53,349 [laughs] 360 00:13:53,453 --> 00:13:55,558 Boyce, did you send this to Jameel? 361 00:13:55,662 --> 00:13:56,836 Yeah, I did it. 362 00:13:56,939 --> 00:13:58,976 Because you two belong together, 363 00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:01,116 and he can get you out my house! 364 00:14:01,219 --> 00:14:03,497 Boyce, I'm hiding from Jameel. 365 00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:05,568 - What? - He's crazy. 366 00:14:05,672 --> 00:14:08,226 And not, "Oh, Jameel, you so crazy!" crazy. 367 00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:09,607 No! They-should-make- 368 00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:12,610 an-HBO-documentary-about-himcrazy! 369 00:14:12,713 --> 00:14:16,821 Boyce, you sexted a crazy man? 370 00:14:16,925 --> 00:14:19,065 I didn't know-- Look, everybody calm down. 371 00:14:19,168 --> 00:14:20,618 - Now, come on. - [whimpers] 372 00:14:20,721 --> 00:14:22,413 You don't know him. 373 00:14:22,516 --> 00:14:26,727 Believe me. Nothing can stop Jameel! 374 00:14:26,831 --> 00:14:29,661 But you think that chair can stop Jameel. 375 00:14:29,765 --> 00:14:31,663 Aah! It's Jameel! 376 00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,044 Shh! 377 00:14:38,118 --> 00:14:40,120 I shoveled the walk again. 378 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,676 [cheers and applause] 379 00:14:48,818 --> 00:14:51,442 Boyce, why would you invite Jameel here? 380 00:14:51,545 --> 00:14:53,582 Well, I didn't know anything was wrong with him. 381 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:56,826 She always talked about how they were so happy together. 382 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,104 You did do that. 383 00:14:58,207 --> 00:14:59,622 Well, it's just that 384 00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:01,555 I know you guys look at me and you think, 385 00:15:01,659 --> 00:15:05,249 "She's so fantastic. She has it all together. 386 00:15:05,352 --> 00:15:07,078 Why doesn't she have a man?" 387 00:15:07,182 --> 00:15:08,459 - I never thought that. - No, I've never said 388 00:15:08,562 --> 00:15:10,081 anything like that. Have you? I never-- 389 00:15:10,185 --> 00:15:12,497 You know, it was great at the beginning. 390 00:15:12,601 --> 00:15:14,499 Then it just got too intense. 391 00:15:14,603 --> 00:15:17,330 She brought his mother on our second date. 392 00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:18,607 What's wrong with that? 393 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:19,884 In an urn. 394 00:15:19,988 --> 00:15:22,231 She was dead. 395 00:15:22,335 --> 00:15:26,097 He brought her ashes to the Cheesecake Factory! 396 00:15:26,201 --> 00:15:28,824 All right, everybody we got a psycho on the way, 397 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,344 and he's gonna be able to waltz right in, 398 00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:33,760 'cause your daddy keeps shoveling the walk! 399 00:15:33,863 --> 00:15:35,106 [doorbell rings] 400 00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:36,625 Okay. 401 00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,454 No, I'll handle it. 402 00:15:38,558 --> 00:15:42,562 [breathing hard] Okay... 403 00:15:42,665 --> 00:15:44,115 Nikki! Ooh! 404 00:15:44,219 --> 00:15:45,634 Hey, hey! 405 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:50,328 Hey, Jameel, h-how did you get here so fast? 406 00:15:50,432 --> 00:15:51,674 Oh, I drove straight through, no stops. 407 00:15:51,778 --> 00:15:54,125 I filled up three Gatorade bottles. 408 00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:55,644 With what? Wait--eew! 409 00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:57,749 Yeah. 410 00:15:57,853 --> 00:15:59,924 Hey, come on, baby. Let's go. 411 00:16:00,028 --> 00:16:03,134 You gonna love what did to your place. 412 00:16:03,238 --> 00:16:05,343 W-what did you do to my place? 413 00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:06,724 Oh, I put up a big gate 414 00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:10,245 so nobody'd be able to get out--I mean in. 415 00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:12,143 - Boyce, do something! - All right, all right. 416 00:16:12,247 --> 00:16:14,801 Hey, my man, she's not going anywhere with you, bro. 417 00:16:14,904 --> 00:16:17,631 - Why's that? - Because... 418 00:16:17,735 --> 00:16:19,357 I'm her lover. 419 00:16:21,394 --> 00:16:23,189 I meant I hit him with the shovel. 420 00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:24,845 You? Her lover? 421 00:16:24,949 --> 00:16:26,295 Man, watch out! 422 00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:29,126 You know that she sent me a very sexy picture. 423 00:16:29,229 --> 00:16:31,887 Ha. Oh, really? Does this look familiar? 424 00:16:33,302 --> 00:16:34,545 Oh, man, don't tell me 425 00:16:34,648 --> 00:16:36,581 that I blew by six toll booths 426 00:16:36,685 --> 00:16:38,204 for elbow butt? 427 00:16:38,307 --> 00:16:39,446 Man, what's the matter with you? 428 00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:41,276 Why would you do that? 429 00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:44,348 It had a little more lotion on there earlier, 'cause... 430 00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:47,834 Look, I needed to prove to you that what we here 431 00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:49,767 is real, huh, and that you ain't going 432 00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:51,182 nowhere with my woman. 433 00:16:51,286 --> 00:16:52,804 Your woman? Please! 434 00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:54,565 There's nothing you can say to make me believe that. 435 00:16:54,668 --> 00:16:57,499 I ain't gotta say nothing. I can show you! 436 00:17:01,089 --> 00:17:03,677 Boyce! I wanted you and your cousin 437 00:17:03,781 --> 00:17:07,026 to get along better, but come on! 438 00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:11,582 Cousin? See, I knew it. 439 00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:14,205 Nikki and I are meant to be together forever. 440 00:17:14,309 --> 00:17:16,518 I be the only one she'll ever love. 441 00:17:16,621 --> 00:17:18,416 That is where you're wrong, Jameel. 442 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:19,659 She will never love you 443 00:17:19,762 --> 00:17:21,833 because it is 2015,brother, 444 00:17:21,937 --> 00:17:24,560 and we don't have to hide our love. 445 00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:34,363 I'm a little confused here. 446 00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:37,056 But that's what I'm talking about. 447 00:17:37,159 --> 00:17:39,610 I know you had them Cheetos. 448 00:17:41,163 --> 00:17:42,923 I don't believe this. 449 00:17:43,027 --> 00:17:44,615 Look, man. 450 00:17:44,718 --> 00:17:48,860 Now, you see, you can't deal with passion like that. 451 00:17:48,964 --> 00:17:51,656 So I think it's time for you to go, brother. 452 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,382 Come on, drive safe. 453 00:17:53,486 --> 00:17:55,108 Aw, man, now I gotta... 454 00:17:55,212 --> 00:17:58,077 I gotta go break this to mother--she in the car. 455 00:17:58,180 --> 00:18:00,769 This gonna kill her.... again! 456 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,633 Oh, man, every time I get a girlfriend, 457 00:18:02,736 --> 00:18:04,255 I always gotta deal with this! 458 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:05,808 Ahh! Ha ha! 459 00:18:05,912 --> 00:18:07,431 Jameel is gone! 460 00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:09,295 Hallelujah! 461 00:18:09,398 --> 00:18:10,399 Hallelujah? 462 00:18:10,503 --> 00:18:11,469 Hallelujah! 463 00:18:11,573 --> 00:18:13,816 Hallelujah, hallelujah! 464 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,956 ♪ Hey, ho 465 00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:18,269 ♪ Hey, ho 466 00:18:18,373 --> 00:18:21,997 ♪ Since I laid my burdens down ♪ 467 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,793 - ♪ I feel better - ♪ Glory, glory 468 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,933 - ♪ So much better - ♪ Hallelujah 469 00:18:27,036 --> 00:18:29,349 - ♪ I feel better - ♪ Glory, glory 470 00:18:29,453 --> 00:18:31,282 ♪ So much better 471 00:18:31,386 --> 00:18:34,803 [cheers and applause] 472 00:18:39,256 --> 00:18:40,740 [group humming gospel song] 473 00:18:40,843 --> 00:18:43,363 We are here in the home of Pastor Boyce Ballentine 474 00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,089 who has opened up his home for all these cold, 475 00:18:45,193 --> 00:18:47,367 desperate people in the middle of the snowstorm, 476 00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:49,024 including myself. 477 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,682 Wouldn't have gave it a second thought. 478 00:18:51,785 --> 00:18:54,029 Winter... winter weather tip-- 479 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,204 If your hands get cold, you put 'em in your pants! 480 00:18:56,307 --> 00:18:58,482 - Okay-- - Hey! 481 00:18:58,585 --> 00:19:00,380 Kim, baby, please take me back, please. 482 00:19:00,484 --> 00:19:01,864 I wasn't thinkin' straight. 483 00:19:01,968 --> 00:19:05,316 I've only eaten four croutons and some Tums. 484 00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:07,387 Live from St. Louis, I'm Travis Montana, 485 00:19:07,491 --> 00:19:08,630 signing out. 486 00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,701 [choir] ♪ Glory, glory 487 00:19:10,804 --> 00:19:14,014 We'll see y'all at church on Sunday! 488 00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:17,949 ♪ Lay my burdens down 489 00:19:18,053 --> 00:19:19,365 ♪ Glory 490 00:19:19,468 --> 00:19:21,953 ♪ Whoo hoo 491 00:19:22,057 --> 00:19:23,196 ♪ Hallelujah 492 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:27,649 ♪ Laid my burdens down 493 00:19:27,752 --> 00:19:31,239 - ♪ Glory, glory - ♪ Glory 494 00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:33,862 ♪ Hallelujah 495 00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:38,901 ♪ You see me lay my burdens down ♪ 496 00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:41,663 - ♪ Glory - ♪ Hallelujah 497 00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:43,734 ♪ Hallelujah 498 00:19:43,837 --> 00:19:46,875 ♪ Lay my burdens down 499 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:48,566 ♪ Whoo 500 00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:51,293 ♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah 501 00:19:51,397 --> 00:19:54,089 - ♪ Whoo hoo - ♪ Since I laid 502 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,610 - ♪ Since I laid - ♪ My burdens down 503 00:19:57,713 --> 00:20:00,233 ♪ Glory, glory 504 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:05,894 [soul music] 505 00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:13,902 ♪ 506 00:20:21,703 --> 00:20:24,844 ♪ The soul man 507 00:20:24,947 --> 00:20:26,846 ♪ Hey 36208

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