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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:48,570 Warning. The stunts in this movie were performed by professionals, 2 00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,267 so for your safety 3 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:52,313 and the protection of those around you, 4 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:55,055 do not attempt any of the stunts you’re about to see. 5 00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:02,236 That look all right? 6 00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:03,691 Just turn it up, here, turn it up. 7 00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:05,152 See? It’s recording. 8 00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,067 -Okay. -And then 9 00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:11,027 Should I wear my glasses for this? 10 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,811 It’ll it’ll be okay. 11 00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:14,770 Go ahead. 12 00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:17,033 Well, I’m Johnny Knoxville, United States of America, 13 00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,556 and I’ll be doin’ a little article 14 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,254 on self-defense equipment. 15 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,473 We’re goin’ to drive out to the desert and 16 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:26,303 I have a .38 hammerless 17 00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,436 nice and light Smith and Wesson, 18 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:31,003 that’s got all the stopping power of a nine millimeter. 19 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,744 And I’ll be gettin’ shot in the chest 20 00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,139 with this 911 21 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,448 level IIA Kevlar vest. 22 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:44,147 Oh, and, to absorb some of the impact from the bullet, 23 00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,367 I’ll be putting these magazines, 24 00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:49,370 couple of Hustlers and a couple of Leg Worlds, under the vest 25 00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,807 to avoid any and all blunt-force trauma. 26 00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:53,896 All right. 27 00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,122 That’s why I’d rather have someone else shoot me. 28 00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,030 -fuckin’ sketch, man. -Hang on a sec. 29 00:01:58,205 --> 00:01:59,597 Like that, Jason? 30 00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:02,209 Uh, looks pretty good. 31 00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:09,781 I can’t handle this, dude. 32 00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:12,436 Dude, it’s fuckin’ sketch, man. 33 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,177 Dude, don’t be stupid. 34 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,572 Say a prayer, dude. 35 00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,530 This is beyond dumb. 36 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,664 Let’s fuckin’ go. 37 00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,638 Now you gotta go the whole way around. 38 00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:26,774 -You sure? -I can’t handle this. 39 00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,038 P.J., let’s fucking go. 40 00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,647 Find out where the bullet went. 41 00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,281 P.J. 42 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:32,978 Come on, man! 43 00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:38,201 P.J., let’s fucking go. 44 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,161 I’m about to throw a fuckin’ rock at you. Let’s go. 45 00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,101 It’s the next one. 46 00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,213 P.J., come on! 47 00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,736 I can’t handle this. 48 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,350 Make sure you got it fuckin’ 49 00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,914 P.J. 50 00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:59,353 This is so fuckin’ lame, I can’t even tell you right now. 51 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,182 Forget it. 52 00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:07,883 Let’s go. 53 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,300 Let’s go, dude. Just go. 54 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,404 Put it in the thing and go. 55 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:16,631 Didn’t hurt? 56 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,241 No, I was kinda scared though. 57 00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:25,746 See? Didn’t even leave a fucking... 58 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,511 Dude, I told you guys. 59 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,923 Look at the powder burn. 60 00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,122 I know. 61 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,081 Yeah, I was shaking a little. 62 00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:33,909 You guys wanna go watch it on the TV? 63 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,302 Fuck yeah. 64 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,003 Smile, this is gonna be great. 65 00:05:09,918 --> 00:05:11,598 Walk away, back away, back away, back away, 66 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:14,401 back away, back away, back away. 67 00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:16,490 Ow! Ow, fuck! Ow, fuck! 68 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:17,752 Fuck! 69 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:18,970 Fuck! 70 00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:03,580 Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass. 71 00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:07,976 Oh! Ow! 72 00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:20,858 Whoa, whoa! Okay, okay! 73 00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,016 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 74 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,029 Fuck! 75 00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:02,857 Oh, fuck! 76 00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:08,689 Welcome to the first day of our final film. 77 00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,626 So what are you feeling? 78 00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:14,608 Uh, I’m sad. 79 00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,349 How come? 80 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,442 I guess, uh 81 00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,879 a big part of my, our life is 82 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,403 almost over. 83 00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,057 Does it make you sad, Chris? 84 00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:31,059 No, I’m not in touch with my emotions. 85 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,282 So we have a new Jackass cast member. 86 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,719 His name’s 1W-Larry. 87 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,590 He’s a humanoid robot. 88 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,550 And voicing that robot 89 00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,290 is Mr. Adam Ray. 90 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,424 And you’re going to be making history today 91 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:51,732 with the first robot-to-human prostate exam. 92 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:54,256 This is what Jackass looks like at 50, I guess. 93 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,694 -We are of that age -Damn good, though. 94 00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,827 Where we have to get prostate exams. 95 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,022 -Yes, this is raising awareness. -And so we hired the finest. 96 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,328 You see the finger on that thing? 97 00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,006 I did. 98 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,331 Yeah, that’s not a finger, by the way. 99 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,791 It’s a claw. 100 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,969 You’re going to run into some trouble around mid-finger. 101 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,929 It’s not there. It’s this side that’s all sharp. 102 00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:16,776 How many times have you done this, Larry? 103 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,062 Once. 104 00:08:18,236 --> 00:08:19,847 To myself. 105 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,415 In the car on the way over. 106 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,114 Let’s let it rip, baby. 107 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:31,206 Maybe “letting it rip” is a bad choice of words, Larry. 108 00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:34,557 I’m Steve-O, and prostate health is super important. 109 00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,473 So, this is the robot rectal exam. 110 00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:38,711 Yadda, yadda, yadda. 111 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,694 Take your pants off. 112 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:43,629 -They’re off. -Stay safe. 113 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,612 Non-lubricated condoms. 114 00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:46,830 No, we have lube. 115 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,311 Oh, my God, it’s so sharp. 116 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,531 Here, I’m just gonna put a little lube on for you. 117 00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:52,967 Crunchy peanut butter. 118 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,360 -Oh, no. -Why crunchy? 119 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,536 Drop the laundry. 120 00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:57,710 Oh, my God. 121 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,324 Oh, gross! 122 00:09:02,498 --> 00:09:03,578 Now, before I begin 123 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,414 Wait, wait, wait. 124 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,198 Slow down, Larry. 125 00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:09,200 Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 126 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,941 Wait. Wait. 127 00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:13,988 On my cue. 128 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,598 There we go, there we go! 129 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:22,649 Spread ’em out! Steve-O, spread ’em out! 130 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,956 Spread those cheeks out! Somebody help him. 131 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:28,132 Don’t touch my hand. 132 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,306 Alright. 133 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:30,918 Steve! 134 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:33,050 Is your chocolate in his peanut butter 135 00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,270 or his peanut butter in your chocolate? 136 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,924 More peanut butter, please. 137 00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,839 We need more peanut butter. 138 00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,164 More peanut butter. Don’t get it on my jacket. 139 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,276 Oh, my God! 140 00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,799 There we go! 141 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,322 One 142 00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,063 Two Three. 143 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:47,597 You’re almost almost there. 144 00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,067 That’s it. That’s it. 145 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,595 Breathe. Go, Larry! 146 00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,075 Get down! 147 00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,121 Can you feel it? Can you feel it? 148 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,864 Lean over. 149 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,173 Do you want me to call your dad? 150 00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:10,697 Oh, my God. 151 00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:13,438 Hey, Larry, let Lance smell your finger. 152 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,353 It’d be my pleasure. 153 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:16,527 Come on, Lance. 154 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,836 Smell it. Smell it. 155 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,118 Lookit, it’s not that bad. 156 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:24,319 Yep. Yep. Yep. 157 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,408 Got him. 158 00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,324 Not on your damn camera! 159 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:32,370 I have one more thing I need to do. 160 00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:35,373 Give you a reach around. 161 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,028 I’ll help you. 162 00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,421 -Okayhere we go. -I got you. 163 00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,336 We got this. You got this. 164 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,818 -Teamwork makes the dream work. -I got you. I got you. 165 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:47,647 Did I mention I’ve been drinking today? 166 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:50,606 Here we go. 167 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:55,742 Don’t move! 168 00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:58,701 Got it. 169 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,572 Okay, let go, Larry. Let go, Larry. 170 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,376 Don’t move, got it -Larry, let go! let go! 171 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,795 He’s got his dick all the way! Oh, my God! 172 00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:09,146 Oh, my God! Oh, shit! 173 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,888 Oh, my God, dude. 174 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:14,195 This might be a bad time to tell you 175 00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:16,806 my license was revoked last week. 176 00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,115 Thank you. Thank you. 177 00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:22,029 Good job, Steve-O. 178 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:22,943 Thanks, guys. 179 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,205 Congrats. 180 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:27,208 Can I ask a question? 181 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,644 Yeah. 182 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,211 Why is this the last movie? 183 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,694 Well, I can’t ride red rockets or bulls anymore, 184 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:37,087 so it felt like the natural place to stop. 185 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,307 Yeah, I’m certainly not gonna ride those rockets. 186 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:40,830 Or the bulls. 187 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,404 You know, we were talking, it’s like 188 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:43,790 you know, we got all this footage 189 00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,364 no one’s seen before or barely seen, 190 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:48,446 and we can pick our all-time favorite bits, 191 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,753 and, uh, shoot some new footage 192 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:54,278 and I’ll get to see the warhammer again. 193 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:58,500 Well, if a scene requires me to get into my birthday suit, 194 00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:01,198 the answer just might be yes. 195 00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:07,378 Okay, this is called the “Golf Course Airhorn.” 196 00:12:07,552 --> 00:12:08,945 When people tee off, 197 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:11,034 when they’re coming down with their swing, 198 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,036 we’re going to blow these airhorns. 199 00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:20,000 Oh. 200 00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,728 -Here she goes again. -No. Is it another one? 201 00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:36,066 She still hit it really good. 202 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,785 What’d I tell you? What’d I tell you? 203 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,399 I told you I was gonna kick your ass. 204 00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:09,832 Here, you’ve lost your club. Sorry. 205 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,157 Didn’t I tell you I was gonna come over here and kick your ass for that? 206 00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,488 What? I’m sorry, I got bursitis. 207 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,795 -You got bursitis? -Yeah. 208 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:17,773 -So that means you gotta play with a horn? -It helps. 209 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,600 I’ll give you something to play with, pal. 210 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,104 Sorry, it won’t happen again. 211 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,351 Oh, he’s gonna fucking... 212 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,813 He took his glove. He threw... 213 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:49,785 Oh, fuck. 214 00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:50,568 Shit, he’s teein’ off. He’s teein’ off! Get down! 215 00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:51,742 Oh, shit. 216 00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:58,925 Get back. 217 00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:00,380 -Get down! Get down! -Watch this, wait, wait. 218 00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:01,729 -Get down, Dimitri! -Wait. 219 00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:09,936 Oh, fuck. 220 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,070 Hello, my name’s Johnny Knoxville. 221 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:16,856 This is Tory Belleci, international scientist. 222 00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,597 This is “Follow the Leader.” 223 00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:24,167 So what’s gonna happen is Knoxville’s gonna move his arm 224 00:14:24,341 --> 00:14:26,474 and an electrical signal will go into the computer, 225 00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,780 and then he will be able to control your arms. 226 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:32,480 -What? -So, all you need to do is flex your muscle. 227 00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:33,654 No problem. 228 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:34,743 Yeah. 229 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,183 All right. 230 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:42,011 -Oh, my God. -Holy shit! 231 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,665 -What? -Dude. 232 00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:46,363 What the heck? That’s a lotta electroids! 233 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,499 Can we get Poopies a coffee, please? 234 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:52,674 How hot is that coffee? 235 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,763 Hot. 236 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,480 Have a little bit of coffee, Poopies. I’m sure it’ll be... 237 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,293 I think somebody needs to shave. 238 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,165 - Here is a -Gotta shave. 239 00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:06,862 almost-new shaver. 240 00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,082 Couple of weeks old. Just start shaving. 241 00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:11,277 -You gotta get... -All you gotta... Yeah, that’s good. 242 00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,821 -That’s good. -You missed a spot, yeah? 243 00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:18,526 Lance, why are you not... 244 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:22,051 Look, Lance is not looking. 245 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,550 Hey, Poopies, you gotta get it underneath. 246 00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,707 I know what you want me to do, and 247 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,884 I’ll do it. 248 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,672 Yeah, yeah, doing good. 249 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:36,544 Oh, my God. 250 00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:38,043 Get the middle. Get the middle. 251 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,373 Get the middle. 252 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,768 It looks so graceful. 253 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,335 Oh! 254 00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,514 That was a close shave. 255 00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:53,256 Zach does not, as of yet, have a tattoo from me. 256 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:55,955 Oh, okay, well, let’s do Zach. 257 00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,739 And what tattoo are you giving? 258 00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,568 I’m gonna give Zach a nice, nipple smiley face. 259 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,024 That’s a beautiful canvas. 260 00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,941 I mean, if you want me to have the fuckin’ art on there 261 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,488 Why’re you yelling at me? 262 00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,577 I would like this to come out good. 263 00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:11,709 Me, too. I’m on your side. 264 00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:15,148 I promise, hand to my heart. 265 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:16,801 Okay, don’t mess this up, Steve-O. 266 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,194 Steady hand. 267 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:20,892 -Sorry. -Okay. 268 00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,335 He can’t get it centered. 269 00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:31,338 That wasn’t even close. 270 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:34,689 I’m not doin’ it yet. 271 00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,473 -Okay. -I’m not doin’ it yet. 272 00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,171 I’m doing it! 273 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:39,911 You fucking... 274 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,090 You got it, Steve-O! 275 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:47,180 Steve-O! Steve-O! Steve-O! Steve-O! Steve-O! 276 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,709 It’s good. It looks good. It looks good. 277 00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:56,753 It looks good. 278 00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:58,842 How did that feel? 279 00:16:58,887 --> 00:16:59,888 Not good. 280 00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:02,717 Holy shit. 281 00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:04,675 Hey, Zach, it’s pretty awesome, dude. 282 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,547 Oh, my God! 283 00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:07,961 -Great job, Poopies. -Thank you. 284 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,116 Great job, Tory. Thanks, Steve-O. 285 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,726 And Zach. 286 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,467 And thank God Bunny the Lifeguard’s here 287 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,077 to make everything safe. 288 00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:17,384 -Thank you. -Yeah, I... I really don’t... 289 00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:18,863 I still don’t understand why 290 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,558 they asked for a lifeguard on duty, but 291 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:23,172 it’s better to have one and not need him 292 00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,087 than need him and not have him. 293 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:31,485 Well, the, the convict bit 294 00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:34,444 we’ve always wanted to include in our movies. 295 00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:39,058 We shot it for the pilot of the TV show and got shut down. 296 00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:41,495 Our crew member got arrested. 297 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:45,064 MTV couldn’t shoot in West Hollywood for ten years. 298 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:46,717 So no one’s really seen it. 299 00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:49,155 It’s been sitting there for 25 years. 300 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:50,721 It was total chaos. 301 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,247 Today, I’m going to be an escapee 302 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:55,944 from the LA County Jail 303 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,467 and go into a hardware store 304 00:17:57,641 --> 00:18:00,166 and see if they’ll lend me a hacksaw. 305 00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:01,341 Ow. 306 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,170 I see the lens. 307 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:06,998 Okay. Good. 308 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,413 Do I need some dirt on my face? 309 00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:09,878 Try and get up closer to him. 310 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:11,521 He needs some on his neck, too. 311 00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:14,484 Is my shirt too...? Ah, that’s good. 312 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,978 Should we slap you around? 313 00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:17,226 Yeah, that helps. Thanks. 314 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,409 I need some help. 315 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:27,323 Okay. 316 00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:28,759 I need some, uh 317 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,848 I need a saw a hacksaw. 318 00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,422 Let me get somebody, okay? 319 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,169 Help me! 320 00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,703 Excuse me, what’s going on? 321 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:50,259 I wouldn’t even touch that. 322 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,222 Ah, we got a situation up here. 323 00:18:56,396 --> 00:18:57,962 Someone help me! 324 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,051 We’re kind of closed for right now. 325 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,705 We’re not letting anybody in. 326 00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:07,058 PJ, they are calling the cops. 327 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:11,454 He’s probably an escapee from the jail or somewhere. 328 00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:14,196 Handcuffed in a sheriff’s jumpsuit? 329 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:15,850 Get outta my way. 330 00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:22,948 Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville and I am about to be arrested. 331 00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:26,382 Fuck! 332 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:32,171 What? Oh, fuck me. 333 00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:34,540 -Oh, fuck. -Oh, shit, no way. 334 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:36,653 What should we do? 335 00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:38,655 Dude. 336 00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:39,526 -Get on the ground. -Keep filmin’, dude. 337 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,049 Copy that. 338 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:42,722 I have a good explanation for this. 339 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,226 How come you’re not in jail? 340 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:45,725 ’Cause I don’t belong there. 341 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,186 How did you get out? 342 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,144 I was never in jail. 343 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:50,678 What is this in the back? 344 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:52,539 -That’s a microphone. -From what? 345 00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:54,410 Cause we’re, ah, filming. 346 00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:55,324 You’re filming? 347 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:56,282 Yes, ma’am. 348 00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:59,198 That is really stupid! 349 00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,374 What’s going on over here? 350 00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:04,028 I don’t know, this guy escaped from jail. 351 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,509 We didn’t mean to cause a ruckus. 352 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:09,575 You’re wearing an LA county jumpsuit with handcuffs on, what do you think? 353 00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:12,211 Yeah, I guess I wasn’t thinking, too. I apologize. 354 00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:14,125 You got a camera on you? 355 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,084 -Is it off? -It’s on. 356 00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:17,825 It’s on? Are you filming this? 357 00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,130 Turn it off! 358 00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,091 So, upon arrival today, 359 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,354 we were informed by Mr. Cliver that 360 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,051 our production manager informed us 361 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,663 we are on officially on hiatus. 362 00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:32,100 A kind of suspension because of the incident yesterday 363 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,754 at the hardware store. 364 00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:37,148 But I guess this show may get to air, it may not. 365 00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:39,890 But 366 00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:42,545 -Have anything to add, Jeff? -I do not. 367 00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:46,157 I think let’s just think about the poo cocktail today. 368 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,972 Right. We’re focusing on the poo cocktail. 369 00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,116 Yeah. 370 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,553 My name is Johnny Knoxville, 371 00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:52,033 and this is the “Poo Cocktail.” 372 00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:00,227 I think it’s about ten years ago today 373 00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:02,826 that I was doin’ the first Poo Cocktail, 374 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,567 and now you’re taking the reins 375 00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:06,613 and taking it to a whole other level. 376 00:21:06,787 --> 00:21:10,399 I’m Steve-O, and this is the “Poo Cocktail Supreme.” 377 00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:16,057 All right. Good luck. 378 00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:21,758 You ready, Steve-O? 379 00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,020 No. 380 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,590 Order up! Poo Cocktail Supreme! 381 00:21:33,204 --> 00:21:34,554 Oh, shit! 382 00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:57,707 He’s puking. 383 00:22:02,886 --> 00:22:05,324 Dude, it fuckin’ reeks, man! 384 00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:09,589 What is, what’s wrong with you, Bam? 385 00:22:13,070 --> 00:22:14,637 Are you okay, Steve-O? 386 00:22:14,811 --> 00:22:16,726 Oh, my God. 387 00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:19,060 It’s gonna be ugly. I don’t know if you wanna see this. 388 00:22:21,035 --> 00:22:23,516 Oh, my God. 389 00:22:23,690 --> 00:22:25,039 Oh, Jesus! 390 00:22:25,213 --> 00:22:26,582 -Oh, my God. -Oh, my God. 391 00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:27,911 Help him out of there. 392 00:22:28,085 --> 00:22:29,236 -Let him out! -Oh, my God. 393 00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:33,134 Oh! 394 00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,965 -Look at him! -Oh, my God. 395 00:22:38,139 --> 00:22:39,662 Jump in that lake right now. 396 00:22:39,836 --> 00:22:41,031 The worst damn thing you can imagine. 397 00:22:41,055 --> 00:22:42,055 Oh, my God. 398 00:22:42,143 --> 00:22:43,405 Oh, my God. 399 00:22:55,156 --> 00:22:56,157 Jesus! 400 00:22:57,071 --> 00:22:58,594 Yeah, dude. 401 00:22:58,768 --> 00:22:59,769 That was rad. 402 00:22:59,943 --> 00:23:00,943 It went so high. 403 00:23:01,075 --> 00:23:03,077 It was so scary. 404 00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:07,037 This is the kind of extreme shit 405 00:23:07,211 --> 00:23:08,971 that those extreme dudes don’t even think of. 406 00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:15,065 I mean, that had it all. 407 00:23:15,089 --> 00:23:17,265 That had danger, it had shit. 408 00:23:18,092 --> 00:23:19,876 It had puke. 409 00:23:20,050 --> 00:23:21,661 Yeah, that’s what this show’s all about. 410 00:23:23,053 --> 00:23:24,620 And sex appeal. 411 00:23:28,581 --> 00:23:29,582 Do it! 412 00:23:31,845 --> 00:23:33,107 Oh! 413 00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:36,850 Jesus Christ. What an idiot. 414 00:23:40,506 --> 00:23:42,377 What’s up, players? 415 00:23:42,551 --> 00:23:44,074 Hey, Larry! 416 00:23:44,248 --> 00:23:46,207 Where you been? 417 00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:49,036 I had a few strawberry White Claws in the Green Room. 418 00:23:49,210 --> 00:23:51,231 -He’s drunk. -He’s had a couple of drinks. 419 00:23:51,255 --> 00:23:52,735 He’s a little wobbly right now. 420 00:23:52,909 --> 00:23:55,564 We’re about to give Poopies lip injections 421 00:23:55,738 --> 00:23:57,914 to make him 23% more gorgeous. 422 00:23:58,088 --> 00:23:59,873 Finally! 423 00:24:00,787 --> 00:24:02,832 Oh, my gosh! He got you! 424 00:24:04,138 --> 00:24:05,400 Hello, Dr. Julie. 425 00:24:05,574 --> 00:24:07,228 -Hello. -Hi. 426 00:24:07,402 --> 00:24:08,945 This is Poopies, and we want to make him more handsome 427 00:24:08,969 --> 00:24:09,970 with some lip injections. 428 00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:11,493 -Can you help us? -Yes. 429 00:24:11,667 --> 00:24:14,235 Holy shit. Are you serious? 430 00:24:14,409 --> 00:24:17,368 So, during this whole movie, I’m gonna have the biggest lips. 431 00:24:17,543 --> 00:24:19,085 You’re gonna have the most beautiful lips. 432 00:24:19,109 --> 00:24:20,371 -Full lips. -Full. 433 00:24:20,546 --> 00:24:22,199 -Oh, my God. -Volumptious. 434 00:24:22,373 --> 00:24:25,159 I’m Poopies, and this is “Lip Filler.” 435 00:24:26,726 --> 00:24:28,684 Okay, normally, people get numbing, but 436 00:24:28,858 --> 00:24:30,207 Normally people get numbing. 437 00:24:30,381 --> 00:24:31,513 -No, you don’t need it. -No? 438 00:24:31,687 --> 00:24:33,047 -No, no numbing. -Okay. Just relax. 439 00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:34,690 What is this you’re putting in? 440 00:24:34,864 --> 00:24:36,059 -This is hyaluronic acid. -Oh, this is it. 441 00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:38,477 Sounds safe. 442 00:24:38,651 --> 00:24:40,324 -Don’t move, either. -That’s a long-ass needle. 443 00:24:40,348 --> 00:24:42,152 -Stay still. -Oh, my God. 444 00:24:42,176 --> 00:24:44,136 You’re gonna get so much work after this. 445 00:24:44,352 --> 00:24:45,614 Shit! 446 00:24:45,788 --> 00:24:48,269 Oh, fuck! 447 00:24:48,443 --> 00:24:50,421 -Now we’re doin’ good. -Oh, my God! All right. 448 00:24:50,445 --> 00:24:51,577 -Yeah! -Holy shit! 449 00:24:51,751 --> 00:24:53,056 Holy shit! 450 00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:53,796 All right, we can go bigger. 451 00:24:53,970 --> 00:24:55,450 Bigger! 452 00:24:55,624 --> 00:24:57,341 You can go bigger. 453 00:24:57,365 --> 00:24:59,005 Now we’re gonna do the bottom. 454 00:24:59,106 --> 00:25:00,946 Damn! I thought that was about it. 455 00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:03,153 Dude, what the fuck is this shit? 456 00:25:03,327 --> 00:25:04,764 You look awesome, Poopies. 457 00:25:04,938 --> 00:25:07,157 Is it supposed to have the right side be bigger? 458 00:25:07,331 --> 00:25:09,725 What a stupid fucking question, Ehren! 459 00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:14,382 I think I can probably put just a little bit more and that’s it. 460 00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:16,578 -Sexy is the word. -Oh, fuck, it’s turning white! 461 00:25:16,602 --> 00:25:18,342 What the fuck? 462 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,694 I look more like one of those botched fucking housewives. 463 00:25:21,868 --> 00:25:23,478 Can we do Ehren next? 464 00:25:23,652 --> 00:25:24,871 Yeah. 465 00:25:25,045 --> 00:25:27,743 We need to fix that Lego face. 466 00:25:27,917 --> 00:25:30,529 Oh, fucking Larry. 467 00:25:30,703 --> 00:25:31,878 They’re all lumpy and shit. 468 00:25:32,052 --> 00:25:33,401 I think it looks good. 469 00:25:33,575 --> 00:25:35,095 All right! Way to go, Poopies. 470 00:25:35,142 --> 00:25:36,862 -Yeah, you’re good. -Yeah! 471 00:25:36,970 --> 00:25:38,928 What are you pouting at? 472 00:25:39,102 --> 00:25:41,322 On Jackass Forever, Knoxville and I 473 00:25:41,496 --> 00:25:43,890 are just interviewing the new guys 474 00:25:44,064 --> 00:25:45,500 and straight up, like, 475 00:25:45,674 --> 00:25:47,241 “Poopies, are you afraid of anything?” 476 00:25:47,415 --> 00:25:49,069 He’s like, “Well, I’ll tell you what. 477 00:25:49,243 --> 00:25:50,786 I don’t like the dark, and I don’t like... ” 478 00:25:50,810 --> 00:25:52,681 You know, just like layin’ it all out. Like 479 00:25:52,855 --> 00:25:55,094 But I don’t think Bam ever told us he was scared of snakes. 480 00:25:55,118 --> 00:25:58,339 We just kinda happened to figure it out when snakes came out. 481 00:25:58,513 --> 00:26:01,037 Once we figured that out, it sure wrote a lot of bits. 482 00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:04,737 You know, the worse the experience is 483 00:26:04,911 --> 00:26:07,914 the better it looks on screen. 484 00:26:10,133 --> 00:26:12,135 So, today we’re going to bring the cast 485 00:26:12,309 --> 00:26:13,659 into this room, two at a time, 486 00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:15,791 to shoot a rattlesnake stunt. 487 00:26:15,965 --> 00:26:17,880 But that’s just a ruse to get them in here, 488 00:26:18,054 --> 00:26:20,709 so we can lock the door, turn out the lights 489 00:26:20,883 --> 00:26:22,363 and make their life a living hell. 490 00:26:22,537 --> 00:26:25,627 This is “Silence of the Lambs.” 491 00:26:26,976 --> 00:26:27,803 You hear that? 492 00:26:27,977 --> 00:26:29,588 What is it? 493 00:26:29,762 --> 00:26:30,589 -That’s a rattlesnake. -No, it isn’t. 494 00:26:30,763 --> 00:26:31,764 It is. Listen. 495 00:26:31,938 --> 00:26:33,417 -Oh, really? -Jules. 496 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,004 But you’re not a part of this bit. 497 00:26:35,028 --> 00:26:36,464 You’re in peanut gallery. 498 00:26:36,638 --> 00:26:38,137 He’s got a western diamondback rattlesnake. 499 00:26:38,161 --> 00:26:39,728 He’s gonna release it on the ground. 500 00:26:39,902 --> 00:26:42,011 Pontius is gonna take a cookie and set it on its head, 501 00:26:42,035 --> 00:26:44,211 and then I’m going to try 502 00:26:44,385 --> 00:26:45,821 and take the cookie off its head. 503 00:26:45,995 --> 00:26:47,997 And this is a western diamondback rattlesnake. 504 00:26:48,171 --> 00:26:49,451 He’s about five feet and change. 505 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,392 Very, very venomous. 506 00:26:51,566 --> 00:26:53,263 He will bite you if you get too close, 507 00:26:53,437 --> 00:26:54,677 and he will kill you. Or try to. 508 00:26:54,743 --> 00:26:57,006 -I’m not kidding. -Whoa. 509 00:26:57,180 --> 00:26:58,500 -Ready? -I’m gonna sit back. 510 00:26:58,529 --> 00:26:59,879 Chris, you’re fucking nuts, man. 511 00:27:00,053 --> 00:27:01,315 Whoa, shit, dude. 512 00:27:02,838 --> 00:27:04,318 -Oh, fuck. -Dude! 513 00:27:04,492 --> 00:27:06,581 -Oh, fuck. -Oh, my God. 514 00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:07,776 It’s got a big head, though. 515 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,018 Jesus! 516 00:27:09,192 --> 00:27:11,368 They can strike so fast. 517 00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:14,502 He will absolutely kill you, son, at two heartbeats per second. 518 00:27:14,676 --> 00:27:15,851 Can you feel my heart? 519 00:27:17,374 --> 00:27:18,637 Wow, dude! 520 00:27:18,811 --> 00:27:20,377 All right. 521 00:27:20,551 --> 00:27:22,071 It’s goin’ as fast as that rattlesnake. 522 00:27:22,118 --> 00:27:23,467 That’s why I won’t do this. 523 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,731 I’m really scared for Johnny right now. 524 00:27:25,905 --> 00:27:27,689 All right, let’s put the snake away 525 00:27:27,863 --> 00:27:29,711 and get these guys mic’’d. It’s time to do this. 526 00:27:29,735 --> 00:27:31,775 They’re huge, man. Those are big-ass snakes. 527 00:27:32,215 --> 00:27:33,739 All right, switch the bucket. 528 00:27:33,913 --> 00:27:35,313 Let’s get the snake out of the room. 529 00:27:41,747 --> 00:27:43,444 Is there an antidope here? 530 00:27:43,618 --> 00:27:45,707 Okay, let’s get Knoxville for me. 531 00:27:45,881 --> 00:27:48,318 That is what it’s called. Antivenom, not antidope. 532 00:27:48,492 --> 00:27:50,538 What’s antidope mean? I don’t even know. 533 00:27:53,541 --> 00:27:54,585 What’s antidope? 534 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,979 Uh, that’s like... 535 00:27:57,153 --> 00:27:58,304 Oh, my fucking God. 536 00:27:58,328 --> 00:27:59,547 -No! -No! 537 00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:01,157 Goddamn! 538 00:28:01,331 --> 00:28:02,985 Oh, fuck you, guys. 539 00:28:03,159 --> 00:28:05,684 Wait, how... Why are we the only ones in here now? 540 00:28:05,858 --> 00:28:06,989 I don’t know, dude. 541 00:28:10,166 --> 00:28:11,864 Doggone it! 542 00:28:12,038 --> 00:28:13,517 Oh, fuck this, let’s go! 543 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:14,518 He’s driving himself around? 544 00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:16,695 Oh, no! No! 545 00:28:16,869 --> 00:28:18,368 Hello, my name’s Johnny Knoxville. 546 00:28:18,392 --> 00:28:19,392 Welcome to hell. 547 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,003 Please, no! 548 00:28:21,177 --> 00:28:22,657 Wait, dude, where’s the fuckin’ light? 549 00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:23,939 Bam, seriously, there’s a snake in that bucket, 550 00:28:23,963 --> 00:28:25,486 so don’t fucking swing around. 551 00:28:25,660 --> 00:28:28,402 Well, where should I go? What am I gonna do? 552 00:28:29,664 --> 00:28:31,448 Oh, fuck! 553 00:28:31,622 --> 00:28:32,711 So, if we get bit, we die. 554 00:28:32,885 --> 00:28:34,364 Yeah, oh, God! 555 00:28:34,538 --> 00:28:36,236 Are you serious? 556 00:28:36,410 --> 00:28:38,530 Why the fuck did we go down to the basement? 557 00:28:38,891 --> 00:28:40,153 Dude, come on. 558 00:28:43,199 --> 00:28:45,201 Knox, what the fuck? Come on. 559 00:28:48,465 --> 00:28:50,467 Dude. Come on. 560 00:28:51,860 --> 00:28:53,296 What the fuck? 561 00:28:53,470 --> 00:28:54,839 I’m gonna break that fucking door down. 562 00:28:54,863 --> 00:28:55,995 Do it, Ehren. 563 00:28:57,823 --> 00:28:59,476 Did they just... 564 00:28:59,650 --> 00:29:02,566 Fuck this shit! Ah, fuck you guys! 565 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:04,021 All right, knock over the bucket 566 00:29:04,090 --> 00:29:05,090 and cue the snake sound. 567 00:29:05,874 --> 00:29:06,962 Oh, shit! 568 00:29:09,182 --> 00:29:10,749 -Oh, shit. -Oh, my God! 569 00:29:10,923 --> 00:29:12,857 Everyone, stay... Guys, stay on the couch. 570 00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:13,881 The fuckin’ snake. 571 00:29:14,013 --> 00:29:15,884 -Bam. -Yeah? 572 00:29:16,058 --> 00:29:18,254 You gotta be cool, man, there’s a fuckin’ snake in here. 573 00:29:18,278 --> 00:29:19,734 -Yo, I don’t know what to do. -Stay where you are. 574 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,257 All right. 575 00:29:23,457 --> 00:29:24,980 Dude, it bit me, I think. 576 00:29:25,154 --> 00:29:26,741 Jeff, Bam got bit! No fuckin’ shit. 577 00:29:29,028 --> 00:29:31,428 I can’t do it. I just showed up. 578 00:29:32,161 --> 00:29:34,207 Just turn on the lights, all right? 579 00:29:34,381 --> 00:29:36,862 That’s it! That’s it! That’s enough! That’s enough! 580 00:29:37,036 --> 00:29:38,236 There’s a snake, Dave! 581 00:29:39,299 --> 00:29:40,659 Where are you, Ehren? Ehren. 582 00:29:40,735 --> 00:29:42,389 Ehren! What the fuck? 583 00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:45,261 -Ehren! -How am I supposed to even help you, Dave? 584 00:29:45,435 --> 00:29:46,935 Just... I just need to know you’re there. 585 00:29:48,395 --> 00:29:50,092 Fuck this! 586 00:29:50,266 --> 00:29:52,660 -Ehren! -Oh, I got a weapon now, motherfuckers. 587 00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:53,835 I got a weapon. 588 00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:55,228 Don’t hit me, Ehren. 589 00:29:55,402 --> 00:29:56,762 -No, I got a weapon. -Ehren! 590 00:29:56,882 --> 00:29:58,274 -Don’t hit me! -You fuckin’... 591 00:29:58,448 --> 00:29:59,808 Ehren, don’t fuckin’ not answer me! 592 00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:00,929 Ehren, answer me. 593 00:30:04,019 --> 00:30:05,107 Ah, fuck! There’s a door! 594 00:30:05,281 --> 00:30:07,457 Dave, over here! Dave, this way! 595 00:30:07,631 --> 00:30:09,431 -Yeah, right. Fuck that door. -Dave, this way! 596 00:30:09,546 --> 00:30:10,567 Fuck that. There’s something bad over there probably. 597 00:30:10,591 --> 00:30:11,897 No, I promise! 598 00:30:12,071 --> 00:30:13,681 No, you don’t know shit. 599 00:30:13,855 --> 00:30:16,075 There’s a door I just opened, I swear to God! 600 00:30:16,249 --> 00:30:17,250 Oh, wow, how convenient. 601 00:30:18,642 --> 00:30:20,079 Come this way. I swear to God, 602 00:30:20,253 --> 00:30:21,447 -I’m not lying to you. -Fuck that door. 603 00:30:21,471 --> 00:30:22,492 You’re on your own then, fucker. 604 00:30:23,386 --> 00:30:24,561 Shit! 605 00:30:29,088 --> 00:30:30,829 Ehren! 606 00:30:31,003 --> 00:30:34,310 What the fuck is going on?! 607 00:30:34,484 --> 00:30:37,444 I can’t even I can’t even fucking do it. 608 00:30:37,618 --> 00:30:39,620 What the fuck is this? 609 00:30:43,667 --> 00:30:44,930 Holy shit! 610 00:30:45,104 --> 00:30:46,409 Motherfuckin’... 611 00:30:50,239 --> 00:30:51,439 Oh, my God! 612 00:30:51,501 --> 00:30:53,286 Ow! Fucking bitch! 613 00:30:53,460 --> 00:30:54,567 Keep going to the right, Bam. 614 00:30:54,591 --> 00:30:55,810 I don’t trust you now. 615 00:30:55,984 --> 00:30:56,767 If you got the fucking... 616 00:30:56,942 --> 00:30:58,117 Bam just got bit. 617 00:30:58,291 --> 00:31:00,032 I got bit, Jeff! 618 00:31:00,206 --> 00:31:01,574 I’m going... Okay, I’m done fuckin’ with you, okay? 619 00:31:01,598 --> 00:31:03,165 -It’s buzzin’ over there. -Here. 620 00:31:03,339 --> 00:31:04,795 I’m done fuckin’ with you. I’m helping you. 621 00:31:04,819 --> 00:31:06,865 ’Cause you got... Bam, you got snakebit. 622 00:31:07,039 --> 00:31:08,736 We gotta get you medical attention. 623 00:31:08,910 --> 00:31:10,869 Come on, Bam. Come on, buddy. Let’s go. Let’s go. 624 00:31:11,043 --> 00:31:13,001 Everyone, I’m done fucking around! 625 00:31:13,175 --> 00:31:15,308 You gotta let... You gotta open the door. Okay. 626 00:31:16,309 --> 00:31:18,006 Okay. 627 00:31:18,180 --> 00:31:19,244 You got... Okay, close it! 628 00:31:19,268 --> 00:31:21,053 No! No! No! 629 00:31:22,097 --> 00:31:23,097 No! 630 00:31:23,620 --> 00:31:25,144 Dude, I’ll fuck... 631 00:31:25,318 --> 00:31:27,320 That’s it, that’s it! That’s it! 632 00:31:27,494 --> 00:31:30,192 It got me! Okay? It got me! 633 00:31:31,324 --> 00:31:32,412 The snake got you? 634 00:31:34,414 --> 00:31:36,938 -In the leg and in the ribs. -In the leg and the ribs? 635 00:31:37,112 --> 00:31:37,896 Please! 636 00:31:38,070 --> 00:31:39,854 Fuck! 637 00:31:40,028 --> 00:31:41,551 I’m gonna have a cardiac arrest. 638 00:31:41,725 --> 00:31:43,118 Turn on the lights. 639 00:31:43,292 --> 00:31:45,294 Okay, okay. 640 00:31:45,468 --> 00:31:47,427 -Welcome to the set, Bam-Bam! -Oh, my God. 641 00:31:49,690 --> 00:31:51,692 Zach, you all right? 642 00:31:51,866 --> 00:31:53,148 -Holy shit! -I crawled through the fuckin’ thing! 643 00:31:53,172 --> 00:31:54,452 I heard Zach and it sounded like 644 00:31:54,477 --> 00:31:55,498 he was gettin’ murdered in here. 645 00:31:57,045 --> 00:31:58,588 I thought this was like the only way to get out. 646 00:31:58,612 --> 00:32:01,093 So I just climbed over it, and then it broke. 647 00:32:02,572 --> 00:32:03,922 Oh, my God, man. 648 00:32:04,096 --> 00:32:04,618 Did you think there was a snake in the room? 649 00:32:04,792 --> 00:32:06,359 Fuck, yeah! 650 00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:08,133 -You thought you were gettin’ bit? -Yeah! 651 00:32:08,665 --> 00:32:09,840 Oh, fuck. 652 00:32:16,195 --> 00:32:17,631 God! 653 00:32:17,805 --> 00:32:19,589 This whole fuckin’ place is probably rigged. 654 00:32:19,763 --> 00:32:21,461 It is, isn’t it? 655 00:32:21,635 --> 00:32:22,941 It is, isn’t it? 656 00:32:25,030 --> 00:32:26,596 See, when I come up with my ideas, 657 00:32:26,770 --> 00:32:28,294 I don’t write them down. 658 00:32:28,468 --> 00:32:32,472 I just draw a picture and fax it to Los Angeles. 659 00:32:32,646 --> 00:32:35,475 I just drew a picture of a fat-ass and a little guy 660 00:32:35,649 --> 00:32:37,346 with a bungee cord connected. 661 00:32:39,131 --> 00:32:40,523 This is “The Bungee Jump.” 662 00:32:43,613 --> 00:32:44,677 Are you ready, Preston? 663 00:32:44,701 --> 00:32:45,528 Just go, just go. 664 00:32:45,702 --> 00:32:48,531 Three two one. 665 00:32:55,103 --> 00:32:56,887 Yes! Yes! 666 00:32:57,062 --> 00:32:59,325 Yes, yes! Oh, my God. 667 00:32:59,499 --> 00:33:01,544 -You did it! -That worked perfect! 668 00:33:06,027 --> 00:33:08,029 Hello, my name’s Johnny Knoxville. 669 00:33:08,203 --> 00:33:11,119 Welcome to our production of “The Marionettes.” 670 00:33:11,293 --> 00:33:13,469 I smell a Tony. Let’s go. 671 00:33:15,036 --> 00:33:16,951 This job sucks. 672 00:33:17,125 --> 00:33:19,432 Fade in. Timmy, ten years old. 673 00:33:19,606 --> 00:33:22,087 A pasty, dimwitted but unlikeable boy, 674 00:33:22,261 --> 00:33:24,263 makes his way through the town square. 675 00:33:24,437 --> 00:33:27,048 He spots Dolores, 11 years old. 676 00:33:27,222 --> 00:33:29,746 Dolores is pretty, like an old catcher’s mitt, 677 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,705 and only has one nut. 678 00:33:33,098 --> 00:33:34,298 Good morning, Dolores. 679 00:33:34,447 --> 00:33:36,057 I want to take you to the dance, 680 00:33:36,231 --> 00:33:40,453 but I heard Ugly Jeff asked you, and I was shocked. 681 00:33:40,627 --> 00:33:42,716 Timmy is hit with Taser-gun darts. 682 00:33:42,890 --> 00:33:43,891 What? 683 00:33:44,065 --> 00:33:45,936 No, fuck that! No, fuck that! 684 00:33:49,766 --> 00:33:51,420 Fuck this job! 685 00:33:51,594 --> 00:33:53,944 Don’t be mad at me. Be mad at the narrator. 686 00:33:54,119 --> 00:33:54,858 Stop it! 687 00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:56,077 Fuck you! 688 00:33:59,167 --> 00:34:00,386 Fuck! 689 00:34:02,692 --> 00:34:04,564 Gimme a second, Adam fuckin’ Ray! 690 00:34:04,738 --> 00:34:07,175 Timmy, you’re holding up the play! 691 00:34:07,349 --> 00:34:09,308 How can I win her love? 692 00:34:09,482 --> 00:34:12,311 I sure could use a little help. 693 00:34:12,485 --> 00:34:13,834 Up in the rafters, 694 00:34:14,008 --> 00:34:16,967 a cute, but soon to be crabby Cupid appears. 695 00:34:17,142 --> 00:34:18,969 Oh, fuck. 696 00:34:21,755 --> 00:34:22,756 Oh, fuck. 697 00:34:25,628 --> 00:34:30,024 Timmy, I’m shocked it took you so long to summons me. 698 00:34:30,198 --> 00:34:31,678 I’m gonna beat you, Chris. 699 00:34:31,852 --> 00:34:34,594 Cupid is mercilessly shocked with a stun baton 700 00:34:34,768 --> 00:34:36,813 and then pelted with pineapples. 701 00:34:36,987 --> 00:34:38,424 Okay! Ah! 702 00:34:40,034 --> 00:34:41,427 Pineapples? 703 00:34:41,601 --> 00:34:43,516 What does pineapples have to do with Cupid? 704 00:34:43,690 --> 00:34:46,562 Cupid then pulls the bow back on his love arrow 705 00:34:46,736 --> 00:34:48,651 and shoots Dolores in the eye. 706 00:34:50,479 --> 00:34:51,479 Sorry. 707 00:34:51,524 --> 00:34:52,524 I’m not Dolores, man! 708 00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:54,440 Sorry! 709 00:34:54,614 --> 00:34:57,443 Dolores, you drive me crazy! 710 00:34:57,617 --> 00:35:00,228 I feel like my heart is going to explode. 711 00:35:00,402 --> 00:35:02,100 A large brick of firecrackers 712 00:35:02,274 --> 00:35:03,927 is duct-taped to Timmy’s chest, 713 00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:06,016 and a very long fuse is lit. 714 00:35:07,279 --> 00:35:08,367 No! 715 00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:10,282 -Oh, shit. -No! 716 00:35:12,414 --> 00:35:14,294 Timmy’s heart explodes like a cantaloupe. 717 00:35:14,373 --> 00:35:15,373 It’s burning me! 718 00:35:17,985 --> 00:35:19,987 Oh, fuck! 719 00:35:20,161 --> 00:35:21,481 -Oh, shit! -What? 720 00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:22,990 Oh, fuck! 721 00:35:23,164 --> 00:35:24,620 And then, our two living actors 722 00:35:24,644 --> 00:35:25,993 take their triumphant final bows 723 00:35:26,167 --> 00:35:28,169 as Timmy hangs there lifeless and limp. 724 00:35:28,343 --> 00:35:29,388 The End. 725 00:35:29,562 --> 00:35:31,868 Yay! 726 00:35:32,042 --> 00:35:33,261 Two thumbs up. 727 00:35:36,003 --> 00:35:39,311 All right, well, this is an opportunity that I’m gonna enjoy. 728 00:35:40,616 --> 00:35:42,227 Mr. Knoxville 729 00:35:42,401 --> 00:35:46,970 Did you choose to host Fear Factorfor the money, 730 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:49,495 or because it really turned you on creatively? 731 00:35:49,669 --> 00:35:51,279 Tell the truth! 732 00:35:53,803 --> 00:35:55,196 I It turned me on 733 00:35:55,370 --> 00:35:57,250 creatively! 734 00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:01,376 Keep going. Keep going. 735 00:36:06,686 --> 00:36:08,731 All right. Here we go. 736 00:36:17,871 --> 00:36:21,266 Poof! I’m an old prick now. 737 00:36:29,361 --> 00:36:30,405 Hello, ladies! 738 00:36:30,579 --> 00:36:31,699 Hey, grandpa, how you doin’? 739 00:36:31,754 --> 00:36:33,713 Good! How you doin’, baby? 740 00:36:33,887 --> 00:36:35,236 All right! 741 00:36:39,545 --> 00:36:40,546 Wow. 742 00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:50,077 He’s got his jim dog out! 743 00:36:54,690 --> 00:36:56,605 How are you ladies doin’ down here? 744 00:36:56,779 --> 00:36:59,347 What you gon’ do, watch it or watch us? 745 00:36:59,521 --> 00:37:00,914 I came to watch you girls. 746 00:37:03,569 --> 00:37:05,701 You ladies are going to get all worked up 747 00:37:05,875 --> 00:37:09,139 and then hopefully old Irving can swoop in there. 748 00:37:10,358 --> 00:37:11,379 What’s your name? 749 00:37:11,403 --> 00:37:12,403 Irving. 750 00:37:14,014 --> 00:37:17,278 Maybe some of these ladies’ll want a serving of Irving, 751 00:37:17,452 --> 00:37:18,975 if you know what I’m sayin’. 752 00:37:19,149 --> 00:37:20,388 If you ready for the next entertainer, 753 00:37:20,412 --> 00:37:21,935 then somebody say, “I am!” 754 00:37:22,109 --> 00:37:23,197 I am! 755 00:37:23,371 --> 00:37:25,591 He’s harder than a horseshoe! 756 00:37:25,765 --> 00:37:27,593 How hard are you? 757 00:37:27,767 --> 00:37:29,116 I’m pretty loose right now, 758 00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,249 but I could probably get it goin’. 759 00:37:31,423 --> 00:37:33,531 We want to see yours. We want you to walk the red carpet. 760 00:37:33,555 --> 00:37:34,750 She wants to see mine? 761 00:37:34,774 --> 00:37:36,166 Walk the red carpet. 762 00:37:36,341 --> 00:37:37,821 I’ll show her mine right now! 763 00:37:37,864 --> 00:37:40,127 We gonna make it rain, walk the red carpet. 764 00:37:40,301 --> 00:37:42,410 I’m gonna go. I’m gonna. I’m gonna walk the red carpet. 765 00:37:42,434 --> 00:37:44,479 Yeah, I’m gonna shake it! 766 00:37:51,878 --> 00:37:54,054 I don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on. 767 00:38:14,379 --> 00:38:15,902 No, he is not gonna stay. 768 00:38:45,497 --> 00:38:47,194 I’m Bam Margera. 769 00:38:47,368 --> 00:38:50,806 And I feel like kicking my dad’s ass all day today. 770 00:38:51,851 --> 00:38:53,026 Come on, Bam. 771 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,202 No, I gotta go to work, jerk-off! 772 00:38:55,376 --> 00:38:57,204 Stop it! 773 00:38:57,378 --> 00:38:59,424 Come on, I gotta go the hell to work on time! 774 00:39:00,381 --> 00:39:01,687 Will you stop? 775 00:39:03,950 --> 00:39:05,778 Should I be naked like the dummy? 776 00:39:07,736 --> 00:39:09,434 As long as you’ll strap me in, I’ll do it. 777 00:39:09,608 --> 00:39:13,307 Five, four, three, two, one! 778 00:39:17,050 --> 00:39:18,530 Oh, shit. 779 00:39:18,704 --> 00:39:20,532 Oh! 780 00:39:26,233 --> 00:39:28,670 -Oh, my God! -Oh, my God. 781 00:39:28,844 --> 00:39:30,996 Yeah, I guess I will have to hold on like a motherfucker. 782 00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:33,820 Oh, my God, that’s crazy! 783 00:39:33,980 --> 00:39:35,416 Oh, please. 784 00:39:35,590 --> 00:39:37,853 It’s weird to strap a dummy to a big rocket 785 00:39:38,027 --> 00:39:40,552 and then see it go off 786 00:39:40,726 --> 00:39:44,294 and then say, “All right, time for you to get on, Knox.” 787 00:39:47,733 --> 00:39:49,363 It’s moments like these when you know 788 00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:52,128 Johnny Knoxville is one gnarly dude. 789 00:39:52,302 --> 00:39:54,217 Dun, da-da-da-dun, da-da-da-dun 790 00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:55,871 da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dun 791 00:39:56,045 --> 00:39:57,725 I’m so glad I’m not the star of this movie. 792 00:40:00,006 --> 00:40:01,094 Knoxville’s gonna see 793 00:40:01,268 --> 00:40:02,922 what the moon’s gonna look like. 794 00:40:04,140 --> 00:40:07,535 He is gonna go definitely 60 feet up in the air. 795 00:40:07,709 --> 00:40:08,928 He’s gonna get annihilated. 796 00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:10,712 But I don’t want to tell him that. 797 00:40:10,886 --> 00:40:13,149 You’re gonna be just fine! 798 00:40:13,323 --> 00:40:14,629 Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, 799 00:40:14,803 --> 00:40:16,631 and this is my “Big Red Rocket.” 800 00:40:16,805 --> 00:40:21,549 Five, four, three, two, one, go! 801 00:40:27,947 --> 00:40:31,124 What the fuck was that? 802 00:40:31,298 --> 00:40:32,908 -Whoo! -Oh, my God. 803 00:40:33,082 --> 00:40:34,127 Holy shit, dude. 804 00:40:34,301 --> 00:40:36,042 What? What? 805 00:40:36,216 --> 00:40:37,715 Well, usually, the rockets fail 806 00:40:37,739 --> 00:40:39,175 backwards and forwards, I was told, 807 00:40:39,349 --> 00:40:41,526 but there was a rocket that came out the side. 808 00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:43,963 If it’d been like right here 809 00:40:44,137 --> 00:40:46,400 that’d been a picture-wrap on old Knoxville. 810 00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:51,070 And now we’re trying it again. It’s rocket launch take two. 811 00:40:51,231 --> 00:40:53,189 I’m scared just watching. 812 00:40:53,363 --> 00:40:54,974 -I know, yeah. -I want a Lance helmet. 813 00:40:55,148 --> 00:40:56,758 I have full, like, adrenaline. 814 00:40:58,847 --> 00:41:00,588 This isn’t the best idea ever. 815 00:41:00,762 --> 00:41:02,416 Yes, it is. 816 00:41:02,590 --> 00:41:05,941 I’m Johnny Knoxville and I’m going to the moon! 817 00:41:06,115 --> 00:41:09,902 Five, four, three, two, one! 818 00:41:10,076 --> 00:41:11,251 Later. 819 00:41:16,604 --> 00:41:19,346 Yeah! Yeah! 820 00:41:20,956 --> 00:41:23,916 If you’re okay, give us a thumbs-up! 821 00:41:28,094 --> 00:41:29,443 He held onto it. 822 00:41:29,617 --> 00:41:30,836 That was incredible. 823 00:41:34,753 --> 00:41:36,276 Totally awesome! 824 00:41:40,323 --> 00:41:43,196 All right, we’re having a little party at the office. 825 00:41:43,370 --> 00:41:46,112 But unfortunately, Ron’s in there 826 00:41:46,286 --> 00:41:47,505 and he’s in a terrible mood 827 00:41:47,679 --> 00:41:49,376 because his wife left him again. 828 00:41:49,550 --> 00:41:50,943 Poor Ron. 829 00:41:51,117 --> 00:41:52,901 We’re gonna have to go cheer him up. 830 00:41:53,075 --> 00:41:54,096 That’s right. Let’s kill him with kindness, fellas. 831 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,425 It’s party time, boys. 832 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,383 Okay, let’s do it, let’s do it. 833 00:41:56,557 --> 00:41:57,557 All right, let’s do it. 834 00:41:57,993 --> 00:41:59,233 Let’s go cheer up Ron. 835 00:41:59,386 --> 00:42:00,953 Hey, Ron, what do you say? 836 00:42:01,127 --> 00:42:02,800 We’ll just have a little cake and fun in here? 837 00:42:02,824 --> 00:42:04,224 Hey, Ron, I heard about the breakup. 838 00:42:04,391 --> 00:42:05,392 Yeah. 839 00:42:10,745 --> 00:42:11,877 Fucking Ron! 840 00:42:12,051 --> 00:42:14,488 Hey, Ron, come on... Ow! Shit, Ron! 841 00:42:15,054 --> 00:42:16,185 Ow! 842 00:42:16,359 --> 00:42:18,274 I will fucking call HR. 843 00:42:18,448 --> 00:42:19,537 Ow! 844 00:42:19,711 --> 00:42:22,061 Oh, that was my arm! 845 00:42:28,763 --> 00:42:30,373 I’m starting to think he’s racist. 846 00:42:33,115 --> 00:42:35,204 Ron can smell his wife’s cheap perfume 847 00:42:35,378 --> 00:42:37,293 all over Jasper, and he’s furious. 848 00:42:38,425 --> 00:42:39,557 Ron, it’s cool. 849 00:42:41,776 --> 00:42:42,995 Oh, no! 850 00:42:50,959 --> 00:42:53,309 Wellthat solves the office mystery 851 00:42:53,483 --> 00:42:55,050 about who fucked Ron’s wife. 852 00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:08,716 I’m Steve-O. Oh, fuck! 853 00:43:13,329 --> 00:43:15,593 Oh, why do I have to be Steve-O? 854 00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:23,949 I’m Steve-O and this is “Tee Ball.” 855 00:43:31,565 --> 00:43:32,740 I remember seeing the footage 856 00:43:32,914 --> 00:43:34,394 of the “Box Down Stairs” when 857 00:43:34,568 --> 00:43:37,658 right after it was shot, in the editing room, and 858 00:43:37,832 --> 00:43:39,878 I always wondered why it wasn’t allowed to be on TV, 859 00:43:40,052 --> 00:43:41,943 and then I found out that it was too imitate-able? 860 00:43:41,967 --> 00:43:42,750 Yeah. 861 00:43:42,924 --> 00:43:44,099 Duh. 862 00:43:44,273 --> 00:43:45,797 Yeah, I got two herniated discs 863 00:43:45,971 --> 00:43:48,408 because of the “Box Down Stairs.” 864 00:43:48,582 --> 00:43:50,105 We put a pillow in there, or two. 865 00:43:50,279 --> 00:43:52,194 Yeah, thank you. Thanks for those pillows. 866 00:43:52,368 --> 00:43:56,329 Oh, man, it killed! 867 00:44:02,335 --> 00:44:03,771 You need one for his head. 868 00:44:03,945 --> 00:44:06,165 All right, just tuck your head down. 869 00:44:16,262 --> 00:44:17,829 Let’s hurry up and do this! 870 00:44:18,003 --> 00:44:19,458 No worries, we’re getting it taped up. 871 00:44:19,482 --> 00:44:20,745 Can you breathe? 872 00:44:20,919 --> 00:44:22,311 Not well. 873 00:44:28,056 --> 00:44:30,058 All right, let’s go. You ready? 874 00:44:34,497 --> 00:44:36,674 Oh! Oh. 875 00:44:42,854 --> 00:44:44,246 Get it back up. 876 00:44:44,420 --> 00:44:46,248 Wait, is this the top or the bottom? 877 00:44:52,385 --> 00:44:53,778 Oh. 878 00:44:55,388 --> 00:44:56,519 You okay? 879 00:44:56,694 --> 00:44:57,999 No, I’m not. 880 00:44:58,173 --> 00:45:00,698 That really hurt. I wanna see a playback. 881 00:45:00,872 --> 00:45:02,352 At one point, it just took off, 882 00:45:02,482 --> 00:45:03,744 like you actually got airborne. 883 00:45:08,183 --> 00:45:10,359 In the first Olympics, they performed naked. 884 00:45:10,533 --> 00:45:12,753 -Oh, yeah. -And 885 00:45:12,927 --> 00:45:15,669 we would like to do, uh, 886 00:45:15,843 --> 00:45:17,845 one of the events from the first Olympics, 887 00:45:18,019 --> 00:45:19,238 the high jump, 888 00:45:19,412 --> 00:45:21,022 and if you would do it buck naked. 889 00:45:21,196 --> 00:45:23,111 Okay. 890 00:45:23,285 --> 00:45:24,939 And you know how they do it. 891 00:45:25,113 --> 00:45:27,420 They kinda run at it and then they kinda turn? 892 00:45:27,594 --> 00:45:28,874 Yeah, yeah, Fosbury flop. 893 00:45:29,030 --> 00:45:30,430 Yeah, the old Fosbury flop. 894 00:45:30,510 --> 00:45:32,164 -Yeah. -I think it’s Dick Fosbury. 895 00:45:32,338 --> 00:45:33,905 -Yeah. -Oh, is that who invented it? 896 00:45:34,079 --> 00:45:35,950 Yeah, and now we got Big Dick Fosbury, 897 00:45:36,124 --> 00:45:37,386 ol’ Chris Pontius. 898 00:45:39,562 --> 00:45:41,477 I’m Chris Pontius, and this is the “Pole Vault”. 899 00:45:41,651 --> 00:45:42,914 Wait, I fucked up my rhythm. 900 00:45:46,482 --> 00:45:49,268 I’m Chris Pontius, and this is the “Pole Vault.” 901 00:45:49,442 --> 00:45:50,486 Ah, I totally fucked up. 902 00:45:52,837 --> 00:45:54,205 We need to get some clean sound of this. Get in close. 903 00:45:54,229 --> 00:45:55,429 -Get in there. -Yeah, I got it. 904 00:45:56,144 --> 00:45:57,798 All right, the Tahitian Dancer. 905 00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:03,499 Detroit Muscle Rock. 906 00:46:11,943 --> 00:46:15,468 I’m Chris Pontius, and this is the “Pole Vault.” 907 00:46:17,557 --> 00:46:18,732 Yes, Chris. 908 00:46:18,906 --> 00:46:19,907 Whoo-hoo! 909 00:46:25,739 --> 00:46:28,176 Yea... Oh! 910 00:46:28,350 --> 00:46:29,656 Almost 911 00:46:29,830 --> 00:46:31,112 You started jumping from too far back. 912 00:46:31,136 --> 00:46:32,376 I know, I completely fucked up. 913 00:46:33,094 --> 00:46:34,530 Oh! 914 00:46:36,445 --> 00:46:37,751 My angle was all wrong. 915 00:46:52,331 --> 00:46:53,593 That was amazing. 916 00:47:02,950 --> 00:47:04,604 Here comes Dunn. 917 00:47:26,017 --> 00:47:28,976 No fucking way, dude! 918 00:47:29,150 --> 00:47:31,283 We just spent so much time getting ready. 919 00:47:33,285 --> 00:47:34,485 Is there blue on me? 920 00:47:34,547 --> 00:47:35,940 I’m so happy. 921 00:47:36,114 --> 00:47:37,289 There’s a lot of blue. 922 00:47:37,463 --> 00:47:38,551 Dude, that thing goes. 923 00:47:41,684 --> 00:47:44,470 What’s the word on, uh, “Butt X-ray”? 924 00:47:44,644 --> 00:47:46,602 There you go again. 925 00:47:46,776 --> 00:47:48,363 Everyone’s fuckin’ saying to me I’m gonna do something 926 00:47:48,387 --> 00:47:49,973 I fucking never said I was gonna do. You know? 927 00:47:49,997 --> 00:47:51,277 I didn’t fuckin’ commit to that. 928 00:47:51,433 --> 00:47:53,000 What do they want you to do? 929 00:47:53,174 --> 00:47:55,350 They want me to fucking start shoving shit up my ass! 930 00:47:56,525 --> 00:47:58,571 I thought that was... That wasn’t your idea? 931 00:47:58,745 --> 00:48:00,747 No, it wasn’t my idea. 932 00:48:00,921 --> 00:48:03,010 I mean, I was always entertained by the idea. 933 00:48:03,184 --> 00:48:06,187 I never fuckin said I’d do it. You know? 934 00:48:06,361 --> 00:48:08,189 So you’re not doin’ that. 935 00:48:08,363 --> 00:48:09,974 Fuckin’ highly doubt it. 936 00:48:10,148 --> 00:48:11,671 You know? 937 00:48:11,845 --> 00:48:13,170 And if there’s a fuckin’ problem with that 938 00:48:13,194 --> 00:48:14,258 then maybe someone else can start 939 00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:15,588 shoving shit up their ass. 940 00:48:15,762 --> 00:48:16,850 You know? 941 00:48:18,852 --> 00:48:20,506 Now, I’m lubing up 942 00:48:21,550 --> 00:48:22,290 I can’t see the car, Ryan. 943 00:48:22,464 --> 00:48:24,118 The little toy car 944 00:48:24,292 --> 00:48:25,859 because I’m going to put it in my butt. 945 00:48:31,430 --> 00:48:32,735 Just shove it the fuck up. 946 00:48:32,910 --> 00:48:33,910 Oh, fuck. 947 00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:35,782 Oh, fuck, no! 948 00:48:35,956 --> 00:48:38,219 Dude, it feels so goddamn gross. 949 00:48:40,091 --> 00:48:41,527 Really. You know what? 950 00:48:41,701 --> 00:48:43,746 I’m really questioning myself right now. 951 00:48:45,792 --> 00:48:46,792 Is it almost in? 952 00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:47,925 It’s in, dude. 953 00:48:48,099 --> 00:48:49,404 -It’s in? -Yeah. 954 00:48:49,578 --> 00:48:51,450 -Let’s go. -Oh, fuck! 955 00:48:51,624 --> 00:48:53,931 I feel like I have to shit my ass. 956 00:48:59,762 --> 00:49:00,807 Oh, fuck. 957 00:49:02,113 --> 00:49:03,513 I’m not too excited about this skit. 958 00:49:03,636 --> 00:49:05,036 It’s not my favorite I’ve ever done, 959 00:49:05,116 --> 00:49:06,595 because there’s a toy car in my butt. 960 00:49:06,769 --> 00:49:08,728 But this is the “Butt X-Ray.” 961 00:49:15,126 --> 00:49:17,302 I think I need an X-ray. 962 00:49:17,476 --> 00:49:19,196 -Antoine? -Yes? 963 00:49:20,435 --> 00:49:21,262 How you doing? 964 00:49:21,436 --> 00:49:22,568 Pretty good. 965 00:49:23,873 --> 00:49:25,701 -I’m Ryan, and this... -What can I do for you? 966 00:49:25,875 --> 00:49:28,269 I was partying last night with some frat guys. 967 00:49:28,443 --> 00:49:29,923 I passed out. 968 00:49:30,097 --> 00:49:31,751 I must’ve fallen down and broken something 969 00:49:31,925 --> 00:49:33,765 ’cause I haven’t been able to walk right since. 970 00:49:33,796 --> 00:49:35,015 We’re gonna take X-ray now 971 00:49:35,189 --> 00:49:36,277 -Okay. -to be sure. 972 00:49:36,451 --> 00:49:38,584 -We’ll take a look. -Okay. 973 00:49:41,761 --> 00:49:43,328 This is comfy. 974 00:49:43,502 --> 00:49:45,182 Hold your breath. Don’t move. 975 00:49:58,604 --> 00:49:59,997 Oh, wow! 976 00:50:00,171 --> 00:50:00,867 What’s that? What you got? 977 00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:01,781 What is that? 978 00:50:04,653 --> 00:50:05,480 -What the hell? -A car? 979 00:50:05,654 --> 00:50:06,960 What is that? 980 00:50:07,134 --> 00:50:09,180 Is his own car, no? The toy. 981 00:50:09,354 --> 00:50:11,138 -The toy car. -Toy car? 982 00:50:11,312 --> 00:50:12,472 This is the wheel. 983 00:50:13,314 --> 00:50:14,881 See that? 984 00:50:15,055 --> 00:50:16,361 It’s a little car. 985 00:50:19,059 --> 00:50:22,497 It’s a little toy. 986 00:50:22,671 --> 00:50:27,024 They were at a party yesterday and everyone passed out 987 00:50:27,198 --> 00:50:31,680 and they were having sex with each other and stuff like that. 988 00:50:31,854 --> 00:50:35,162 They were drugged up last night. 989 00:50:35,684 --> 00:50:36,772 What’s that? 990 00:50:36,946 --> 00:50:38,209 I have no idea. 991 00:50:38,383 --> 00:50:39,732 That’s not part of you. 992 00:50:40,515 --> 00:50:41,777 That’s something extra. 993 00:50:41,951 --> 00:50:44,084 I woulda known if I ate that. 994 00:50:44,258 --> 00:50:46,695 No, you won’t be able to swallow that. 995 00:50:46,869 --> 00:50:48,654 That is a car toy. 996 00:50:48,828 --> 00:50:50,569 Well, how did a car toy get there? 997 00:50:50,743 --> 00:50:52,832 Maybe you stuck it up your ass. 998 00:50:53,006 --> 00:50:54,573 I didn’t stick anything up my ass. 999 00:50:54,747 --> 00:50:56,707 God. Have you ever seen anything like that? 1000 00:50:57,576 --> 00:50:59,230 No, I’ve never seen that in there. 1001 00:51:00,231 --> 00:51:02,102 I’ve seen the toy car all over, 1002 00:51:02,276 --> 00:51:04,887 but no, never in somebody’s rectum. 1003 00:51:05,062 --> 00:51:06,604 You can’t get it out? You don’t have... 1004 00:51:06,628 --> 00:51:09,109 No, I I’m a physician. 1005 00:51:09,283 --> 00:51:12,417 But I practice this, X-ray only. 1006 00:51:12,591 --> 00:51:15,072 You think maybe I can just you know, poop it out? 1007 00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:18,075 You won’t be able to poop it out. 1008 00:51:18,249 --> 00:51:19,859 In fact, it will hurt you. 1009 00:51:20,033 --> 00:51:21,991 In fact, I 1010 00:51:22,166 --> 00:51:24,446 I don’t think it’s even good for you that you poop it out. 1011 00:51:24,603 --> 00:51:26,283 What will happen if you take Ex-Lax? 1012 00:51:26,431 --> 00:51:27,431 Will that help? 1013 00:51:28,215 --> 00:51:29,608 No, if he takes Ex-Lax, 1014 00:51:29,782 --> 00:51:32,567 he gets a Iot of diarrhea, but no car. 1015 00:51:32,741 --> 00:51:34,023 It’s up there? 1016 00:51:34,047 --> 00:51:36,267 He must drink a lot. 1017 00:51:36,441 --> 00:51:39,400 I mean, don’t show it to everybody. 1018 00:51:39,574 --> 00:51:44,318 You just go to the doctor. You don’t talk to anybody -Yeah. 1019 00:51:44,492 --> 00:51:46,538 To your girlfriend, to your boyfriend, to whomever. 1020 00:51:46,712 --> 00:51:48,235 You don’t tell nobody, all right? 1021 00:51:48,409 --> 00:51:50,411 He already knows. That’s too many people. 1022 00:51:50,585 --> 00:51:51,760 I appreciate it. 1023 00:51:51,934 --> 00:51:52,998 Thank you for taking care of me. 1024 00:51:53,022 --> 00:51:54,022 -Okay. -Thanks again. 1025 00:51:55,286 --> 00:51:56,287 I gotta see it! 1026 00:52:03,903 --> 00:52:05,165 It’s still in your ass? 1027 00:52:05,339 --> 00:52:06,123 Yeah, we gotta go to the hotel 1028 00:52:06,297 --> 00:52:07,298 and pull this thing out. 1029 00:52:15,915 --> 00:52:17,743 -Ooh. -Oh! 1030 00:52:18,613 --> 00:52:20,093 Hit! Good. 1031 00:52:23,879 --> 00:52:25,968 Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville. 1032 00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:30,321 Part Deux,” 1033 00:52:30,495 --> 00:52:33,628 aka “Double Boom.” 1034 00:52:33,802 --> 00:52:36,414 In this competition, our four competitors 1035 00:52:36,588 --> 00:52:38,459 and our special guest star, 1036 00:52:38,633 --> 00:52:40,200 Paul Walter Hauser, 1037 00:52:41,593 --> 00:52:43,334 are going to sit in this hot seat 1038 00:52:43,508 --> 00:52:45,118 and answer trivia questions. 1039 00:52:45,292 --> 00:52:47,164 Everyone ready to get started? 1040 00:52:47,338 --> 00:52:48,121 Yay. 1041 00:52:48,295 --> 00:52:49,862 Let’s raise Zach. 1042 00:52:50,036 --> 00:52:51,733 All right. 1043 00:52:51,907 --> 00:52:52,995 He’s an angel. 1044 00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:54,823 Oh, boy, there’s the double boom. 1045 00:52:54,997 --> 00:52:57,261 What the fuck? 1046 00:52:57,435 --> 00:52:59,393 Jasper, take a seat. 1047 00:52:59,567 --> 00:53:02,570 Yeah, Jasper, let’s go! 1048 00:53:02,744 --> 00:53:05,356 All right, Jasper. 1049 00:53:05,530 --> 00:53:08,185 Where was your father, Dark Shark, born? 1050 00:53:08,359 --> 00:53:09,359 Fuck. 1051 00:53:09,447 --> 00:53:11,144 What?! I mean, what? 1052 00:53:11,318 --> 00:53:13,190 Dude, I’m trying to give you a softball. 1053 00:53:13,364 --> 00:53:14,800 Just drop him! 1054 00:53:14,974 --> 00:53:16,534 I’m guessing like Crenshaw, Venice area? 1055 00:53:16,628 --> 00:53:18,195 South Central. 1056 00:53:20,327 --> 00:53:22,199 Jesus Christ, Jasper! 1057 00:53:22,373 --> 00:53:23,461 It’s all the same thing! 1058 00:53:23,635 --> 00:53:24,715 That’s shameful. You should 1059 00:53:24,853 --> 00:53:26,333 -be embarrassed. -Really, Jasper? 1060 00:53:26,507 --> 00:53:28,988 Okay, what is Jeff’s last name, our director? 1061 00:53:29,162 --> 00:53:30,859 Dickhead. No, Tremaine, Tremaine. 1062 00:53:31,033 --> 00:53:32,233 God, just get outta the chair! 1063 00:53:34,341 --> 00:53:36,082 Yes, Jasper! 1064 00:53:36,256 --> 00:53:38,824 Paul, you realize you’ve already 1065 00:53:38,998 --> 00:53:40,695 broke into show business, right? 1066 00:53:42,436 --> 00:53:44,830 You don’t need to be doing this. 1067 00:53:45,004 --> 00:53:47,702 This is like a Make-a-Wish, if it were a punishment. 1068 00:53:49,008 --> 00:53:51,010 I’ve seen worse asses, Zach. I’m just sayin’. 1069 00:53:51,184 --> 00:53:52,184 -Thanks. -Okay. 1070 00:53:52,316 --> 00:53:54,361 Send me the link. 1071 00:53:55,232 --> 00:53:56,233 How many Earths 1072 00:53:56,407 --> 00:53:59,236 could fit inside our blazing sun? 1073 00:53:59,410 --> 00:54:02,108 If you need to phone-a-friend, you can ask Larry here. 1074 00:54:02,282 --> 00:54:03,022 Larry. 1075 00:54:03,196 --> 00:54:04,893 Yes? 1076 00:54:05,067 --> 00:54:07,331 Do you know how many Earths could fit inside of the sun? 1077 00:54:07,505 --> 00:54:08,854 Thinking 1078 00:54:09,028 --> 00:54:10,159 Thinking 1079 00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:11,596 Thinking 1080 00:54:12,510 --> 00:54:13,946 Fuck, I’m horny. 1081 00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,209 Oh, Larry! 1082 00:54:16,383 --> 00:54:18,037 Fuck off, Larry. I’m gonna say seven. 1083 00:54:18,211 --> 00:54:19,797 -Oh, you fucked that up. -I’m gonna say seven. 1084 00:54:19,821 --> 00:54:21,823 One point three million. 1085 00:54:21,997 --> 00:54:23,521 I was gonna say that. 1086 00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,741 Oh, boy. 1087 00:54:26,915 --> 00:54:28,047 Poopies! Come on. 1088 00:54:28,221 --> 00:54:30,267 Thank God I’m not last. 1089 00:54:30,441 --> 00:54:31,485 Well 1090 00:54:31,659 --> 00:54:32,854 I don’t think there is a last. 1091 00:54:32,878 --> 00:54:34,118 It keeps going round and round. 1092 00:54:34,183 --> 00:54:35,183 -Yeah, dummy. -Yeah. 1093 00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:36,490 Dude, are you dumb? 1094 00:54:36,664 --> 00:54:39,928 Ehren your face is ugly, so just... 1095 00:54:40,102 --> 00:54:41,278 Ooh! 1096 00:54:41,452 --> 00:54:44,368 Wow, sick burn! 1097 00:54:44,542 --> 00:54:46,108 Oh, it smells. 1098 00:54:46,283 --> 00:54:49,982 How many colors make up the classic rainbow? 1099 00:54:50,156 --> 00:54:55,117 Blue, yellow, orange, green, purple 1100 00:54:56,118 --> 00:54:57,118 Red 1101 00:54:58,686 --> 00:54:59,731 And 1102 00:54:59,905 --> 00:55:01,776 You got this, Poopies. 1103 00:55:02,429 --> 00:55:03,735 White. 1104 00:55:05,780 --> 00:55:07,739 Oh, my God. Lower it! 1105 00:55:07,913 --> 00:55:09,654 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 1106 00:55:11,351 --> 00:55:13,745 Let me just... Wait, that’s gotta move over a little more... 1107 00:55:13,919 --> 00:55:16,051 Sorry, I just had to shift it over a little. 1108 00:55:16,225 --> 00:55:17,225 Oh, my God. 1109 00:55:17,357 --> 00:55:19,403 Okay. 1110 00:55:19,577 --> 00:55:23,320 Poopies what color are the shoes I’m wearing? 1111 00:55:25,060 --> 00:55:27,019 I can’t see. 1112 00:55:28,020 --> 00:55:29,891 Don’t look! 1113 00:55:30,065 --> 00:55:32,145 -What color are the shoes I’m wearing? -Red. 1114 00:55:32,894 --> 00:55:34,505 Wow! 1115 00:55:34,679 --> 00:55:36,594 Ehren’s up! 1116 00:55:36,768 --> 00:55:38,944 -Zach, you good? -Oh, yeah, I’m great. 1117 00:55:39,118 --> 00:55:41,990 This sucks, dude. What the fuck? 1118 00:55:45,951 --> 00:55:48,127 -Oh, my... Oh, God. -Oh, Jesus. 1119 00:55:48,301 --> 00:55:50,216 Please do not puke. 1120 00:55:50,390 --> 00:55:52,020 -Stop it! -If you puke in his butt 1121 00:55:52,044 --> 00:55:53,915 it’s seven years bad luck. 1122 00:55:56,222 --> 00:55:57,702 Okay, Ehren. 1123 00:55:57,876 --> 00:56:01,749 Who starred in and wrote 1124 00:56:01,923 --> 00:56:04,448 “The Meter Fairy”? 1125 00:56:04,622 --> 00:56:06,058 I’m the Meter Fairy. 1126 00:56:06,232 --> 00:56:08,103 That’s... That would be Ehren McGhehey. 1127 00:56:08,277 --> 00:56:09,278 Danger Ehren. Me. 1128 00:56:09,453 --> 00:56:11,019 All. Final answer. 1129 00:56:11,193 --> 00:56:12,345 And that is the worst bit we’ve ever filmed. 1130 00:56:12,369 --> 00:56:14,066 That’s not cool, man! 1131 00:56:21,987 --> 00:56:23,380 Up, up, up, up, up! Up! 1132 00:56:35,957 --> 00:56:37,132 Wait! 1133 00:56:40,658 --> 00:56:43,487 We gotta give it up to Zach for sure, dude. 1134 00:56:43,661 --> 00:56:45,314 Yay, Zach! 1135 00:56:45,489 --> 00:56:48,405 That is it for the “Dum Dum Game: Part Deux.” 1136 00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:52,452 Some of my favorite bits are, 1137 00:56:52,626 --> 00:56:54,585 like, ones that just, there’s... 1138 00:56:54,759 --> 00:56:56,650 Like, we’re sittin’ around, we don’t have anything to do. 1139 00:56:56,674 --> 00:56:58,394 Then someone says, “Go get some Super Glue”. 1140 00:56:58,458 --> 00:57:00,547 It’s kinda like what happened with Brad Pitt. 1141 00:57:00,721 --> 00:57:02,375 He was there 1142 00:57:02,549 --> 00:57:04,421 to shoot “Night Monkey”, 1143 00:57:04,595 --> 00:57:06,399 and you’re like, “Why don’t we just kidnap you?” 1144 00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:07,511 And he said, “Okay.” 1145 00:57:07,685 --> 00:57:09,338 And we had the presence of mind 1146 00:57:09,513 --> 00:57:11,079 to call the police department 1147 00:57:11,253 --> 00:57:14,082 to let them know to disregard 9-1-1 calls 1148 00:57:14,256 --> 00:57:15,606 about Brad Pitt being kidnapped. 1149 00:57:17,259 --> 00:57:18,846 “I know this just sounds really specific, 1150 00:57:18,870 --> 00:57:20,393 but Brad Pitt’s gonna be kidnapped.” 1151 00:57:20,567 --> 00:57:22,308 “But it’s a joke.” 1152 00:57:22,482 --> 00:57:25,572 “Yeah, it’s a joke. That would never happen.” 1153 00:57:28,183 --> 00:57:30,185 Hi, I’m Brad Pitt and I’m gonna get abducted. 1154 00:57:30,359 --> 00:57:32,361 All right, good. See you out there. 1155 00:57:33,537 --> 00:57:34,537 Fun with celebrities. 1156 00:57:55,297 --> 00:57:56,951 Yo, Brad Pitt! 1157 00:57:57,125 --> 00:57:59,084 No shit! 1158 00:57:59,258 --> 00:58:02,609 No shit! No, it’s Brad Pitt! Oh, how’s it goin’, dude? 1159 00:58:02,783 --> 00:58:05,046 -It’s slow. -All right, all right. Take a break, man. 1160 00:58:05,220 --> 00:58:06,700 Yeah, but can I get your autograph? 1161 00:58:06,874 --> 00:58:08,504 -Come on, man. -Yeah, get him, now! Get him! 1162 00:58:08,528 --> 00:58:10,245 -Get in the fuckin’ car! -What are you doing?! 1163 00:58:10,269 --> 00:58:11,792 -Holy shit. -Wait! 1164 00:58:11,966 --> 00:58:13,533 Hey, hey! Help! 1165 00:58:13,707 --> 00:58:15,970 Help! Help! Help! Help! 1166 00:58:16,144 --> 00:58:17,426 Hey, what are you doing to him? 1167 00:58:17,450 --> 00:58:19,713 -Leave him alone. -Go, go, go! 1168 00:58:23,325 --> 00:58:25,197 Son of a bitch. 1169 00:58:25,371 --> 00:58:26,764 Oh, shit! 1170 00:58:26,938 --> 00:58:27,939 Look at him. 1171 00:58:29,593 --> 00:58:30,985 Aw, fuck! 1172 00:58:31,159 --> 00:58:32,247 Yeah. 1173 00:58:32,421 --> 00:58:33,684 It’s like a drug, yeah. 1174 00:58:33,858 --> 00:58:34,989 Run the lights. 1175 00:58:35,163 --> 00:58:36,208 You get the license plate? 1176 00:58:36,382 --> 00:58:37,862 Shit, someone call the cops. 1177 00:58:38,689 --> 00:58:40,604 -Was that Brad Pitt? -Yeah. 1178 00:58:40,778 --> 00:58:42,214 What just happened? What the fuck? 1179 00:58:42,388 --> 00:58:43,955 Brad Pitt got kidnapped. 1180 00:58:45,043 --> 00:58:46,740 Yeah, yeah, it was Brad Pitt? 1181 00:58:46,914 --> 00:58:48,874 - You see the -Brad Pitt, he was here? 1182 00:58:48,916 --> 00:58:50,657 Brad Pitt was in line and he was just 1183 00:58:50,831 --> 00:58:52,111 kidnapped and thrown into a van. 1184 00:58:52,180 --> 00:58:53,747 I’m really not kidding. 1185 00:58:53,921 --> 00:58:55,444 Some dude was like grabbing my ass, 1186 00:58:55,619 --> 00:58:57,882 trying to rip me outta the car. 1187 00:58:58,056 --> 00:59:00,014 He was really fighting to not get in, too. 1188 00:59:00,188 --> 00:59:01,929 Yeah, totally. 1189 00:59:02,103 --> 00:59:03,124 -You’re a good actor, dude. -Oh, thanks, Chris. 1190 00:59:07,282 --> 00:59:08,762 Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville and I’m gonna 1191 00:59:08,893 --> 00:59:10,808 get hit by a car real soon. 1192 00:59:18,163 --> 00:59:21,427 All right, guys, we’ve got Tory Belleci from MythBusters. 1193 00:59:21,601 --> 00:59:24,386 So I’ve decided to try a trick for the first time ever. 1194 00:59:24,561 --> 00:59:26,650 And frankly, I’m pretty nervous about it, okay? 1195 00:59:27,651 --> 00:59:29,174 Are you ready? 1196 00:59:47,061 --> 00:59:48,280 Oh, no. 1197 00:59:48,454 --> 00:59:50,412 Ugh. 1198 00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:53,459 On the table. We might be playing table tennis. 1199 00:59:55,243 --> 00:59:56,680 Wait, wait, wait. 1200 00:59:57,811 --> 00:59:58,811 Can you? 1201 00:59:58,943 --> 01:00:00,814 You got this? 1202 01:00:02,990 --> 01:00:04,470 He’s at five centimeters. 1203 01:00:06,559 --> 01:00:09,606 Oh, he’s crowning! 1204 01:00:11,999 --> 01:00:13,368 Maybe you should’ve put the ping-pong ball 1205 01:00:13,392 --> 01:00:14,872 up your ass and then puked it out. 1206 01:00:20,529 --> 01:00:22,159 I’m gonna get it, I’m gonna get it. 1207 01:00:22,183 --> 01:00:24,490 I don’t know, this myth might be busted. 1208 01:00:26,884 --> 01:00:28,450 Okay, here’s the thing, guys. 1209 01:00:30,670 --> 01:00:32,541 I put the ping-pong ball in my mouth, right? 1210 01:00:32,716 --> 01:00:33,891 Yeah. 1211 01:00:34,065 --> 01:00:35,675 -Pretending to swallow it. -Yeah. 1212 01:00:35,849 --> 01:00:38,156 But I had already jammed a ping-pong ball up my ass. 1213 01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:40,375 Now I think I lost it. 1214 01:00:40,549 --> 01:00:41,768 Oh, God. 1215 01:00:43,117 --> 01:00:45,250 A good magician never reveals his tricks. 1216 01:00:45,424 --> 01:00:47,339 Yeah, right. 1217 01:00:47,513 --> 01:00:50,081 It’s our last day of filming after 25 years 1218 01:00:50,255 --> 01:00:52,561 and we haven’t learned a goddamn thing. 1219 01:00:54,346 --> 01:00:55,477 Push! 1220 01:00:56,304 --> 01:00:57,523 Oh, yuck! 1221 01:00:57,697 --> 01:00:58,785 Oh, my God. 1222 01:01:01,222 --> 01:01:03,007 That was a dirty trick! 1223 01:01:03,181 --> 01:01:05,139 Take it. 1224 01:01:05,313 --> 01:01:07,593 That wasn’t even, you didn’t even get close to the target. 1225 01:01:09,013 --> 01:01:10,013 Oh, no! 1226 01:01:11,668 --> 01:01:14,192 Get the dog. Go, buddy. Go, buddy. 1227 01:01:16,498 --> 01:01:18,239 He heard the ball falling. 1228 01:01:18,413 --> 01:01:19,676 -You guys stay. -Oh, my God! 1229 01:01:19,850 --> 01:01:20,851 It fuckin’ worked. 1230 01:01:25,725 --> 01:01:27,901 That is all cheese, no whiz. 1231 01:01:30,599 --> 01:01:33,690 This is all flour for our friend Bam. 1232 01:01:33,864 --> 01:01:35,692 We’re gonna antique him when he gets here. 1233 01:01:37,606 --> 01:01:39,217 -Okay. -Walkin’ in. 1234 01:01:39,391 --> 01:01:40,977 -He’s walkin’ in? -There he is, walking in. 1235 01:01:41,001 --> 01:01:42,350 -What’s up? -What up? 1236 01:01:42,524 --> 01:01:44,309 Not much. How you been? 1237 01:01:44,483 --> 01:01:45,527 -Good. -High five! 1238 01:01:54,188 --> 01:01:55,450 Oh, my God. 1239 01:02:03,154 --> 01:02:05,243 That was the best one so far. 1240 01:02:05,417 --> 01:02:08,768 You guys, you kicked my fucking ass. 1241 01:02:08,942 --> 01:02:09,942 You got... 1242 01:02:11,336 --> 01:02:12,511 He got antiqued! 1243 01:02:17,037 --> 01:02:18,430 I was so not ready for that. 1244 01:02:18,604 --> 01:02:20,345 That was so good. You went... 1245 01:02:20,519 --> 01:02:21,563 Oh, good morning, man. 1246 01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,522 -Good morning, Bam. -Howdy. 1247 01:02:23,696 --> 01:02:25,480 -Oh, shit. -Goddamn. 1248 01:02:27,265 --> 01:02:28,919 You know, we have that the 1249 01:02:29,093 --> 01:02:32,357 it looks like a dog... a shock collar for 1250 01:02:32,531 --> 01:02:33,750 -The Taser? -for the neck? 1251 01:02:33,924 --> 01:02:35,447 -There’s one for your cock? -Yeah 1252 01:02:35,621 --> 01:02:38,145 Poopies said he wants to try to see if it shocks. 1253 01:02:38,319 --> 01:02:40,844 I didn’t say, but I will. I didn’t say. 1254 01:02:41,018 --> 01:02:42,628 Oh, I thought you said it. 1255 01:02:42,802 --> 01:02:44,171 You were, like, “Yeah, that’d be awesome.” 1256 01:02:44,195 --> 01:02:45,500 When did I say that? 1257 01:02:45,674 --> 01:02:48,155 You said... Yeah, you said, “Sick!” 1258 01:02:48,329 --> 01:02:51,419 Can someone go get the, uh shock collar for your penis? 1259 01:02:51,593 --> 01:02:52,812 Yeah, I’ll run and get it. 1260 01:02:52,986 --> 01:02:54,335 Excuse me, for Poopies’s penis. 1261 01:02:55,684 --> 01:02:56,990 Okay, it’s on there. 1262 01:02:57,164 --> 01:02:59,253 It looks like his dick’s on house arrest. 1263 01:03:02,256 --> 01:03:03,538 I don’t know why we decided 1264 01:03:03,562 --> 01:03:05,956 to film this on the side of a cliff. 1265 01:03:07,174 --> 01:03:08,915 Hi, I’m Poo... 1266 01:03:09,089 --> 01:03:10,612 -Wait! I’m sorry! -Fuck! 1267 01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,373 -Poopies, I’m sorry. -No, I’m not doing this! 1268 01:03:12,397 --> 01:03:14,114 -No, come on, Poopies! -I gave you an opportunity! 1269 01:03:14,138 --> 01:03:15,922 I’m sorry! I’m sorry! One more time. 1270 01:03:16,096 --> 01:03:17,706 One more time, I won’t do it. 1271 01:03:17,881 --> 01:03:20,361 I’m Poopies and this is “The Balance Beam 1272 01:03:20,535 --> 01:03:22,233 with a Taser on My Dick.” 1273 01:03:22,407 --> 01:03:23,863 He’s gonna score a T-in-and-out. 1274 01:03:23,887 --> 01:03:25,342 Gonna make it all the way across. 1275 01:03:25,366 --> 01:03:27,107 Oh, fuck! 1276 01:03:27,281 --> 01:03:28,761 You’re supposed to land on the beam. 1277 01:03:28,935 --> 01:03:29,675 You gotta take your hand off the beam. 1278 01:03:29,849 --> 01:03:30,850 Hang on. 1279 01:03:34,898 --> 01:03:36,073 Oh, fuck! 1280 01:03:36,247 --> 01:03:38,205 I’m fuckin’ done, I’m done. 1281 01:03:38,379 --> 01:03:41,034 I can’t even think about anything else but my dick right now. 1282 01:03:41,208 --> 01:03:42,209 Ditto. 1283 01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:50,391 -Fuck! -I didn’t even shock you. 1284 01:03:50,565 --> 01:03:52,350 -What happened? -My mind’s getting’ to me. 1285 01:03:52,524 --> 01:03:54,918 His mind and spirit. 1286 01:03:55,092 --> 01:03:56,745 That would be a first. 1287 01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:58,680 That would be the first time that’s ever happened. 1288 01:03:58,704 --> 01:04:00,424 -Yeah, Poops. -You got this, Poops. 1289 01:04:01,968 --> 01:04:03,328 Come on. Balance it, baby. 1290 01:04:04,318 --> 01:04:05,798 You’re so graceful. 1291 01:04:18,158 --> 01:04:20,117 Dude, you almost rolled down that cliff! 1292 01:04:21,770 --> 01:04:22,902 Dave saved you. 1293 01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:27,951 Jump out. 1294 01:04:41,573 --> 01:04:45,664 The last movie, Danger Ehren was all-the-way MVP. 1295 01:04:45,838 --> 01:04:51,017 The movie before that, 3D, Ryan Dunn was MVP. 1296 01:04:51,191 --> 01:04:53,237 I feel like I’ve had some strong moments 1297 01:04:53,411 --> 01:04:55,543 in all of our installments, 1298 01:04:55,717 --> 01:04:57,676 but I don’t think I could ever claim 1299 01:04:57,850 --> 01:05:01,114 that I was really, like, the MVP of one. 1300 01:05:01,288 --> 01:05:02,899 And when I learned that 1301 01:05:03,073 --> 01:05:04,596 there was gonna be another chance, 1302 01:05:04,770 --> 01:05:09,906 I wanted desperately to step up and just do the thing. 1303 01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:12,386 Yeah, I showed up to work for this one, man. 1304 01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:15,172 And the bar’s been pretty high. 1305 01:05:15,346 --> 01:05:18,349 But, uh I’ll tell ya this, my butthole really hurts. 1306 01:05:21,526 --> 01:05:24,224 When you reach our age, you gotta get a colonoscopy, 1307 01:05:24,398 --> 01:05:26,313 and that begins with drinking this stuff 1308 01:05:26,487 --> 01:05:28,359 that completely flushes you out. 1309 01:05:31,579 --> 01:05:34,974 If you’re not 50 and don’t know, it’s a super laxative. 1310 01:05:39,109 --> 01:05:41,415 In just a few minutes, we’re gonna be pooping violently, 1311 01:05:41,589 --> 01:05:43,026 while testing ourselves 1312 01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:47,465 with a game of dexterity, flexibility and stuff. 1313 01:05:48,901 --> 01:05:50,294 Game of “Human Pretzel”. 1314 01:05:50,468 --> 01:05:52,426 But thank God we have these awesome fashions, 1315 01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:55,081 to give you an inside look at the action. 1316 01:05:55,255 --> 01:05:56,735 People don’t got a lot of faith in you 1317 01:05:56,909 --> 01:05:58,998 that you’re not puking in this bit, Lance. 1318 01:05:59,172 --> 01:06:01,348 No? Not gonna happen? All right. 1319 01:06:01,522 --> 01:06:03,133 Shall we play? 1320 01:06:03,307 --> 01:06:04,743 Steve-O will go first, okay? 1321 01:06:06,092 --> 01:06:07,485 Right hand, orange. 1322 01:06:07,659 --> 01:06:08,659 Right there. 1323 01:06:10,923 --> 01:06:13,578 I’m right in the line of fire right here. 1324 01:06:13,752 --> 01:06:15,275 Chris, left foot, purple. 1325 01:06:15,449 --> 01:06:16,624 Sorry, Preston. 1326 01:06:16,798 --> 01:06:18,278 Yeah. 1327 01:06:18,452 --> 01:06:19,714 I just farted. I tooted. 1328 01:06:19,888 --> 01:06:22,326 Oh, wow, that’s very brave. 1329 01:06:22,500 --> 01:06:24,067 Oh, I think she spun it 1330 01:06:24,241 --> 01:06:26,504 and said, “Chris, uh, right foot, pink.” 1331 01:06:26,678 --> 01:06:28,278 -Fucking... -Yeah, yeah. 1332 01:06:28,419 --> 01:06:29,483 Oh, look right into the eye of the storm. 1333 01:06:31,465 --> 01:06:33,337 Okay, left foot, purple. 1334 01:06:33,511 --> 01:06:36,514 It’s gonna be left foot brown, real soon. 1335 01:06:36,688 --> 01:06:37,732 What’s wrong, Lance? 1336 01:06:37,906 --> 01:06:39,778 Lance is getting sick. 1337 01:06:39,952 --> 01:06:41,843 -Steve-O, left foot, pink. -Oh, man. 1338 01:06:44,087 --> 01:06:45,305 Dave! 1339 01:06:45,479 --> 01:06:46,799 You guys are doing great. 1340 01:06:47,394 --> 01:06:48,613 We got a leaker! 1341 01:06:48,787 --> 01:06:50,267 -Uh-oh. -Steve-O’s... 1342 01:06:50,441 --> 01:06:52,095 Oh, God! 1343 01:06:53,226 --> 01:06:55,011 Oh, my God. 1344 01:06:56,360 --> 01:06:57,467 Dave, look to the right. 1345 01:07:01,321 --> 01:07:02,321 Look at him. 1346 01:07:02,409 --> 01:07:04,150 Ew, gross! 1347 01:07:04,324 --> 01:07:05,673 Hold your ground. 1348 01:07:08,328 --> 01:07:10,330 Right hand, green. 1349 01:07:10,504 --> 01:07:12,898 Goddamn it, she said right hand, green! 1350 01:07:15,901 --> 01:07:17,120 Fuck this! 1351 01:07:19,948 --> 01:07:21,559 Oh, my God! 1352 01:07:21,733 --> 01:07:23,853 How you doing, Lance? Still hanging in there? 1353 01:07:26,085 --> 01:07:28,087 -I’ve never smelled poop that bad. -No. 1354 01:07:28,261 --> 01:07:30,220 Oh, my God! 1355 01:07:31,656 --> 01:07:34,224 Oh, my... He’s still shi 1356 01:07:36,095 --> 01:07:37,159 Oh, my God. 1357 01:07:37,183 --> 01:07:38,706 How did you not puke? 1358 01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:41,231 Steve-O is the winner 1359 01:07:41,405 --> 01:07:44,712 -Yeah, Steve-O! -of the Human Pretzel! 1360 01:07:44,886 --> 01:07:47,193 -He’s coming right now. Okay. -Oh, God. Get outta here. 1361 01:07:53,634 --> 01:07:55,438 Go right up and shower, Steve-O, shower. 1362 01:07:55,462 --> 01:07:56,550 Good job, bubba! 1363 01:08:04,254 --> 01:08:05,298 Don’t say anything. 1364 01:08:07,300 --> 01:08:08,649 Hey, what can I get you to drink? 1365 01:08:08,823 --> 01:08:10,129 Two Budweisers. 1366 01:08:10,303 --> 01:08:11,913 Thank you, dear. 1367 01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:13,088 Cheers. 1368 01:08:13,176 --> 01:08:14,176 -Cheers. -Boop! 1369 01:08:15,830 --> 01:08:17,919 So, what’s crackin’? 1370 01:08:18,094 --> 01:08:19,114 I don’t know, go down 1371 01:08:19,138 --> 01:08:19,878 to the beach or something. 1372 01:08:20,052 --> 01:08:21,358 Terra! 1373 01:08:21,532 --> 01:08:22,272 All right. 1374 01:08:22,446 --> 01:08:23,882 What the fuck you doing? 1375 01:08:25,013 --> 01:08:26,013 Who the fuck are you? 1376 01:08:26,145 --> 01:08:27,929 -Shh. -Who are you? 1377 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:29,690 -Calm down. -I’m her freakin’ boyfriend, asshole! 1378 01:08:29,714 --> 01:08:31,154 That’s cool, bud. I’m her man-friend. 1379 01:08:32,630 --> 01:08:34,501 Dude, don’t push me. Don’t push me. 1380 01:08:34,675 --> 01:08:36,566 -I’m not even touching you. -Whoa, Poppy, calm down. 1381 01:08:36,590 --> 01:08:38,897 You know, fuck both of you! Fuck both of you. 1382 01:08:39,071 --> 01:08:43,249 So, he and I are kind of taking a break and 1383 01:08:46,644 --> 01:08:48,036 Hey, he’s right in here. 1384 01:08:49,037 --> 01:08:50,778 -What’s up? -Fuck you! 1385 01:08:50,952 --> 01:08:52,626 -Fuck you. -Yeah, I told you to get the fuck away. 1386 01:08:52,650 --> 01:08:53,781 Don’t push him, man! 1387 01:08:53,955 --> 01:08:55,131 Stop! Stop! 1388 01:08:55,305 --> 01:08:57,133 Get him, Pop! Get him, Pop! 1389 01:08:58,786 --> 01:09:00,397 Get his ass down, man! 1390 01:09:01,441 --> 01:09:02,679 Come on, guys, break it up. 1391 01:09:02,703 --> 01:09:04,966 Police! Get on the fucking ground! 1392 01:09:05,141 --> 01:09:06,359 Get on the ground! 1393 01:09:06,533 --> 01:09:08,796 Freeze! Everybody up against the wall! 1394 01:09:08,970 --> 01:09:10,774 -This is your fuckin’ fight. -Up against the wall! 1395 01:09:10,798 --> 01:09:11,993 -Get the fuck off me! -Up against the wall! 1396 01:09:12,017 --> 01:09:13,671 -Damn! -The fuck are you doing? 1397 01:09:13,845 --> 01:09:16,456 Get him up! Get him up! 1398 01:09:16,630 --> 01:09:18,763 Freeze, motherfucker, get your hands behind your back! 1399 01:09:20,068 --> 01:09:22,221 -What’s going on? -Let’s go, baby. 1400 01:09:22,245 --> 01:09:23,420 Fucking get off me! 1401 01:09:23,594 --> 01:09:24,658 Code 54! Paramedic! 1402 01:09:24,682 --> 01:09:25,422 Get off me! 1403 01:09:25,596 --> 01:09:26,771 Paramedic! 1404 01:09:26,945 --> 01:09:28,338 Get the fuck off me! 1405 01:09:28,512 --> 01:09:29,992 -Shut up. -Get ’em off me! 1406 01:09:30,122 --> 01:09:31,558 Get the fuck off me! 1407 01:09:31,732 --> 01:09:32,951 Shut up! 1408 01:09:33,125 --> 01:09:34,692 -Shut up! -Oh, look at them two. 1409 01:09:34,866 --> 01:09:36,563 Rick? 1410 01:09:36,737 --> 01:09:38,130 -Whoa! -Oh, shit. 1411 01:09:40,611 --> 01:09:42,613 What? He can walk? 1412 01:09:42,787 --> 01:09:44,571 Okay. 1413 01:09:47,444 --> 01:09:49,315 What was that all about? 1414 01:09:49,489 --> 01:09:51,012 What the hell was all that about? 1415 01:09:51,187 --> 01:09:52,227 What happened? 1416 01:09:52,318 --> 01:09:53,398 I don’t know what happened. 1417 01:09:54,451 --> 01:09:55,451 It was wild. 1418 01:09:56,888 --> 01:09:58,933 The cops came in, I can’t believe it. 1419 01:09:59,107 --> 01:10:00,587 Little miniature cops. 1420 01:10:06,114 --> 01:10:09,161 Hello. I am Johnny the Magnificent. 1421 01:10:09,335 --> 01:10:11,250 Today, I’m going to wow you 1422 01:10:11,424 --> 01:10:14,471 with my supreme skills of prestidigitation. 1423 01:10:16,342 --> 01:10:18,823 Oh, fuck! Oh, God! 1424 01:10:20,607 --> 01:10:22,609 What a... Oh, shit. 1425 01:10:25,699 --> 01:10:27,048 Oh, shit. 1426 01:10:35,056 --> 01:10:36,797 Oh, my God. 1427 01:10:36,971 --> 01:10:38,582 You okay, Johnny? 1428 01:10:38,756 --> 01:10:39,756 Holy shit. 1429 01:10:46,633 --> 01:10:48,113 Abracadabra. 1430 01:10:49,723 --> 01:10:51,421 You left your hat out there. 1431 01:10:51,595 --> 01:10:52,987 Did we get it? 1432 01:10:53,161 --> 01:10:54,162 Take two? 1433 01:10:54,902 --> 01:10:57,122 I hate take two with bulls. 1434 01:10:57,296 --> 01:11:01,126 -Oh, man. -We saw Knox dancing around with the bull. 1435 01:11:01,300 --> 01:11:03,955 But we know the hit that the bull gave Knox 1436 01:11:04,129 --> 01:11:05,565 wasn’t the one Knox wanted. 1437 01:11:05,739 --> 01:11:08,264 It was close, but it wasn’t the one. 1438 01:11:10,004 --> 01:11:11,876 What do you think? Maybe a take two? 1439 01:11:13,921 --> 01:11:14,966 Fuck that. 1440 01:11:20,972 --> 01:11:22,887 This one’s twice the size! 1441 01:11:23,627 --> 01:11:27,283 Oh, my God, dude. 1442 01:11:28,588 --> 01:11:31,112 Oh, shit. Oh, shit! 1443 01:11:31,287 --> 01:11:33,376 I don’t wanna fuckin’ watch this, man. 1444 01:11:33,550 --> 01:11:35,508 All right, are we good? 1445 01:11:36,596 --> 01:11:39,469 Hello. I’m Johnny the Magnificent. 1446 01:11:39,643 --> 01:11:41,253 Today, I’m going to wow you 1447 01:11:41,427 --> 01:11:44,735 with my supreme skills of prestidigitation. 1448 01:11:44,909 --> 01:11:46,693 Oh, shit! 1449 01:11:54,092 --> 01:11:55,267 Oh, no. Oh, shit. 1450 01:11:59,271 --> 01:12:00,620 Jesus, Mary. 1451 01:12:04,363 --> 01:12:06,670 That one works. That works. 1452 01:12:06,844 --> 01:12:08,628 -Damn. -Johnny, you okay? 1453 01:12:08,802 --> 01:12:10,108 P.J., talk to me. You okay? 1454 01:12:10,282 --> 01:12:11,327 You all right? 1455 01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:13,372 He’s had it. 1456 01:12:13,546 --> 01:12:14,765 You doin’ okay? Johnny? 1457 01:12:16,244 --> 01:12:17,657 He’s getting’ back. He’s coming to. 1458 01:12:17,681 --> 01:12:19,160 He’s comin’ back, yeah. 1459 01:12:19,335 --> 01:12:20,858 You all right? 1460 01:12:21,032 --> 01:12:23,034 That was a violent brawl. One-sided to be sure. 1461 01:12:24,688 --> 01:12:25,993 Fucking gnarly, dude. 1462 01:12:26,167 --> 01:12:27,865 -Yeah. -Did we get it, Jeff? 1463 01:12:28,039 --> 01:12:29,693 We got exactly what you wanted. 1464 01:12:29,867 --> 01:12:31,018 -Yeah, Knox! -Yeah, Knox! 1465 01:12:31,042 --> 01:12:32,739 Oh, fuck. 1466 01:12:32,913 --> 01:12:34,437 So what happened after it hit me? 1467 01:12:34,611 --> 01:12:36,264 Dude, it’s gnarly. 1468 01:12:36,439 --> 01:12:37,918 This is you, this is the bull. 1469 01:12:41,269 --> 01:12:42,856 He didn’t even mess around, dude. 1470 01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:44,882 He turned around and just nailed him. 1471 01:12:45,056 --> 01:12:46,296 Dude, that was insane. 1472 01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:48,276 Yeah, Knox. 1473 01:12:48,451 --> 01:12:50,651 It’s probably the biggest hit you’ve ever taken. 1474 01:12:51,062 --> 01:12:52,846 And that’s why he is the captain. 1475 01:12:53,020 --> 01:12:55,153 That bull didn’t like fuckin’ magic. 1476 01:12:57,634 --> 01:12:59,026 Yeah, Knox, we love you! 1477 01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:00,526 Love you! 1478 01:13:00,550 --> 01:13:02,334 Captain! 1479 01:13:02,508 --> 01:13:04,467 Concussions aren’t great. 1480 01:13:04,641 --> 01:13:08,296 But as long as you have ’em before you’re 50, it’s cool. 1481 01:13:08,471 --> 01:13:11,561 And Knoxville is 49. So we’re good. 1482 01:13:14,215 --> 01:13:16,827 Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville, 1483 01:13:17,001 --> 01:13:19,743 and this is the “Escape Room from Hell.” 1484 01:13:21,875 --> 01:13:24,922 There are three different rooms. 1485 01:13:25,096 --> 01:13:29,361 You have to solve puzzles in each room to get to the next. 1486 01:13:30,318 --> 01:13:31,450 Godspeed. 1487 01:13:31,624 --> 01:13:33,060 Thanks, dude. 1488 01:13:34,845 --> 01:13:36,455 All right, Wee Man 1489 01:13:36,629 --> 01:13:38,544 To get to the next room, 1490 01:13:38,718 --> 01:13:40,198 you’ll have to reach through that wall 1491 01:13:40,285 --> 01:13:42,592 to find a special Jackass coin. 1492 01:13:42,766 --> 01:13:44,566 -I don’t know... -Fuckin’ hold my hand and go. 1493 01:13:44,681 --> 01:13:46,030 Go! Fuckin’ put it in there! 1494 01:13:46,204 --> 01:13:47,684 -I don’t wanna hold your hand. -Go! 1495 01:13:51,557 --> 01:13:52,950 What the fuck! Okay. 1496 01:13:53,124 --> 01:13:54,386 What the fuck is that? 1497 01:13:54,560 --> 01:13:55,996 What the...? 1498 01:13:56,170 --> 01:13:57,610 What’s the deal? What’s it feel like? 1499 01:13:57,694 --> 01:13:59,054 -I don’t know! -This sucks. 1500 01:13:59,217 --> 01:14:00,577 -I can’t tell. -Doggone it. 1501 01:14:00,740 --> 01:14:02,022 I put my hand in it and I feel shit. 1502 01:14:02,046 --> 01:14:02,786 I saw you put your hand in it. 1503 01:14:07,399 --> 01:14:09,401 -Dave! Dave! -Come on, Dave. 1504 01:14:09,575 --> 01:14:10,895 -Come on, Dave. -Oh, my God, dude. 1505 01:14:11,011 --> 01:14:12,578 Get in there, Dave. 1506 01:14:12,752 --> 01:14:14,338 -Scoop. Scoop. -Reach down. 1507 01:14:14,362 --> 01:14:15,818 All... Put your arm all the way in and go down. 1508 01:14:15,842 --> 01:14:17,322 Go in and down. In and down. 1509 01:14:17,409 --> 01:14:18,952 What the fuck? 1510 01:14:18,976 --> 01:14:19,977 Oh, God! 1511 01:14:20,151 --> 01:14:21,282 There you go. Got it? 1512 01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:22,806 It’s a, it’s a butthole! 1513 01:14:24,111 --> 01:14:25,330 Oh, my God! 1514 01:14:25,504 --> 01:14:27,158 My finger went in it. 1515 01:14:29,813 --> 01:14:31,051 Oh, God, it’s really good. 1516 01:14:31,075 --> 01:14:33,164 -Get that coin. -Okay. 1517 01:14:33,338 --> 01:14:35,209 You gotta reach in deep and scoop. 1518 01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:37,472 Dude, go deep. 1519 01:14:37,603 --> 01:14:38,996 Is it in your butthole? 1520 01:14:40,432 --> 01:14:42,347 Oh, they got the coin! 1521 01:14:42,521 --> 01:14:44,958 -Oh, my God. -They got more than the coin. 1522 01:14:46,264 --> 01:14:47,981 -What the fuck? -Dude, my finger... 1523 01:14:48,005 --> 01:14:49,833 I jammed my finger backwards. 1524 01:14:50,007 --> 01:14:51,704 I can smell the shit on your hand. 1525 01:14:51,878 --> 01:14:54,490 Looks like you guys solved the puzzle. 1526 01:14:54,664 --> 01:14:56,796 I think we’re moving to the next room. 1527 01:14:59,016 --> 01:15:02,106 Okay, Dave, this next puzzle is for you. 1528 01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:03,586 And what’s gonna happen to me? 1529 01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:05,762 Well, if you solve the puzzle, nothing. 1530 01:15:05,936 --> 01:15:09,069 You have to correctly guess four animal sounds 1531 01:15:09,243 --> 01:15:12,333 to stop this. To save Dave. 1532 01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:13,509 Are we ready? 1533 01:15:15,467 --> 01:15:16,467 Wait, you’re goin’ heel? 1534 01:15:16,555 --> 01:15:17,382 Yeah, heel. 1535 01:15:17,556 --> 01:15:18,688 -Okay! -Oh, shit. 1536 01:15:18,862 --> 01:15:21,125 No, dude. Oh, my God. 1537 01:15:21,299 --> 01:15:23,431 What sound does a dog make? 1538 01:15:25,303 --> 01:15:26,565 Okay, good job. 1539 01:15:28,349 --> 01:15:29,873 What sound does a cat make? 1540 01:15:31,657 --> 01:15:33,616 Wow, they’re doin’ really good. 1541 01:15:33,790 --> 01:15:36,314 What sound does an aardvark make? 1542 01:15:37,794 --> 01:15:39,491 No. 1543 01:15:39,665 --> 01:15:41,121 No, they don’t make a sound! They don’t sound. 1544 01:15:41,145 --> 01:15:42,581 Okay, okay, okay. 1545 01:15:42,755 --> 01:15:44,888 -I got that right! -Nice! 1546 01:15:45,062 --> 01:15:46,150 Yeah, baby! 1547 01:15:46,324 --> 01:15:47,564 You just need one more. 1548 01:15:47,630 --> 01:15:49,022 Dude, are you kidding me? No. 1549 01:15:49,196 --> 01:15:50,347 What sound does a cassowary make? 1550 01:15:50,371 --> 01:15:51,371 -No! -Cassowary? 1551 01:15:53,113 --> 01:15:53,897 That’s incorrect! 1552 01:15:54,071 --> 01:15:56,160 Oh, shit. 1553 01:15:56,334 --> 01:15:57,074 -That’s incorrect! -Just start sayin’ shit! 1554 01:16:00,512 --> 01:16:01,687 Oh, my God! 1555 01:16:05,909 --> 01:16:07,650 Goddamn, bro! 1556 01:16:07,824 --> 01:16:09,434 Dude, what the fuck? 1557 01:16:12,393 --> 01:16:14,352 I think that’s the sound of a cassowary. 1558 01:16:14,526 --> 01:16:17,660 That is correct! That is the sound a cassowary makes. 1559 01:16:17,834 --> 01:16:20,793 And I think we can go to the final room. 1560 01:16:20,967 --> 01:16:22,708 It’s done, dude. Dave, it’s done. 1561 01:16:22,882 --> 01:16:25,102 Dude, my dickhead’s just going 1562 01:16:27,365 --> 01:16:29,759 In this bit, Ehren will sit 1563 01:16:29,933 --> 01:16:31,824 in this comfy electric chair that we built for him. 1564 01:16:31,848 --> 01:16:35,286 -Wait, what? -You have all these jumper cables. 1565 01:16:35,460 --> 01:16:37,375 You have to get the right jumper cables 1566 01:16:37,549 --> 01:16:39,638 on the right thingies. 1567 01:16:39,812 --> 01:16:43,555 Then you come up here and you turn this down. 1568 01:16:43,729 --> 01:16:45,272 How do we know if we got the right ones? 1569 01:16:45,296 --> 01:16:46,906 Because if you don’t have the right ones, 1570 01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:48,604 Ehren is going to get shocked. 1571 01:16:48,778 --> 01:16:50,431 Have you ever done an escape room? 1572 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:52,869 Fuck no and fuck that shit. You do it? 1573 01:16:53,043 --> 01:16:54,586 -I have done it. -You’ve done an escape room? 1574 01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,350 Yeah. 1575 01:16:56,524 --> 01:16:57,850 -I don’t believe you. -It’s a team-building exercise. 1576 01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:03,096 All right, Ehren, get in your love seat. 1577 01:17:03,270 --> 01:17:05,098 She’s the worst at doing it. 1578 01:17:05,272 --> 01:17:10,147 Let’s close the doors and please start the game. 1579 01:17:10,321 --> 01:17:12,715 Just give him a little shock now. 1580 01:17:12,889 --> 01:17:14,760 Ow! Fuck! 1581 01:17:14,934 --> 01:17:16,825 Hey, hey. Hey, guys, I’m sorry, that was a mistake. 1582 01:17:16,849 --> 01:17:18,546 -Fuck! -That was a mistake. 1583 01:17:18,721 --> 01:17:21,375 -Fuck that! -Fuck, dude. 1584 01:17:23,464 --> 01:17:25,510 -Fuck this. -You guys can start now. 1585 01:17:25,684 --> 01:17:26,946 Fuck, what are we doing? 1586 01:17:27,120 --> 01:17:28,360 -Here’s seven. -This one’s four. 1587 01:17:28,426 --> 01:17:29,732 -Four? -Yeah, where’s seven? 1588 01:17:29,906 --> 01:17:31,211 I don’t know where four is. 1589 01:17:31,385 --> 01:17:32,778 Fuckin’ figure it out, you guys! 1590 01:17:32,952 --> 01:17:34,752 -Where two at? -Two’s right here. The red one. 1591 01:17:34,911 --> 01:17:36,311 You guys are getting close. 1592 01:17:36,434 --> 01:17:38,088 -Where’s four? -Oh, no, wait! 1593 01:17:38,262 --> 01:17:39,942 Get that last one right there. 1594 01:17:40,003 --> 01:17:41,284 -Are they all in place? -Damn it. 1595 01:17:41,308 --> 01:17:42,832 -Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa -Calm down. 1596 01:17:43,006 --> 01:17:44,877 -I think it’s colors. -No! It’s numbers. 1597 01:17:45,051 --> 01:17:46,333 -He had it wrong. -No, it’s fucking not numbers, guys! 1598 01:17:46,357 --> 01:17:47,877 He had it wrong and he put it up there. 1599 01:17:48,011 --> 01:17:49,771 -Okay, do the thing! -He’s gonna get shocked! 1600 01:17:49,926 --> 01:17:51,366 No, he’s not. No, he’s not. 1601 01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:55,192 I knew it! I knew it! 1602 01:17:55,366 --> 01:17:56,454 Okay! Okay! 1603 01:17:56,628 --> 01:17:57,868 -It was right! -I turned it off! 1604 01:17:57,977 --> 01:17:59,500 -Turn it off! -I turned it off! 1605 01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:01,328 Turn it off. Turn it off. 1606 01:18:02,678 --> 01:18:04,331 Okay! 1607 01:18:05,768 --> 01:18:07,944 Y’all killed him, man. 1608 01:18:08,118 --> 01:18:09,815 -Y’all killed him, bro! -Fuck, dude, 1609 01:18:09,989 --> 01:18:11,010 -he’s like fuckin’ dead, dude. -All right, Dave. 1610 01:18:11,034 --> 01:18:12,557 Get the thing. Get him out. 1611 01:18:12,731 --> 01:18:14,451 -Get him out. Get him out. -He’s out. 1612 01:18:14,602 --> 01:18:16,256 What happened? 1613 01:18:16,430 --> 01:18:18,234 -Hey, sit still... -Get outta here! What the fuck? 1614 01:18:18,258 --> 01:18:19,671 It’s your hat. I’m taking your hat off. 1615 01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:21,261 Hey, she’s trying to let you out! 1616 01:18:21,435 --> 01:18:23,263 Blow the horn. Who’s got the horn? 1617 01:18:31,141 --> 01:18:31,924 That’s good. That’s good. 1618 01:18:32,098 --> 01:18:33,491 Fuck this fucking shit! 1619 01:18:33,665 --> 01:18:36,320 Fuck! 1620 01:18:36,494 --> 01:18:38,454 -Fuck! -Damn, that was crazy. 1621 01:18:38,583 --> 01:18:39,976 Fuck this fuckin’... 1622 01:18:43,022 --> 01:18:45,938 I’m out! Fuck off! 1623 01:18:46,112 --> 01:18:48,027 Oh, my God. 1624 01:18:49,681 --> 01:18:53,380 Well I think that’s it for the Escape Room from Hell. 1625 01:18:55,731 --> 01:18:57,011 -Wait... We’re done? -Yep. 1626 01:18:57,167 --> 01:18:58,342 -Oh, my God. -We did it. 1627 01:18:58,516 --> 01:19:00,126 You got out of the escape room! 1628 01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:02,128 Do we get a therapist after this shit, man? 1629 01:19:02,302 --> 01:19:04,174 -Do we get a therapist? -Good job, Dark Shark. 1630 01:19:04,348 --> 01:19:06,306 Goddamn, you all fucked me up, man! 1631 01:19:06,480 --> 01:19:08,352 And you put your hand in Zach’s ass. 1632 01:19:08,526 --> 01:19:11,485 Way, way up his ass, dude! 1633 01:19:12,748 --> 01:19:14,140 Fuck you guys! 1634 01:19:14,314 --> 01:19:15,794 You forgot your shoes! 1635 01:19:15,968 --> 01:19:18,318 Fuck this fuckin’ place! 1636 01:19:21,713 --> 01:19:23,846 There were headlines on the internet 1637 01:19:24,020 --> 01:19:25,804 that you said this Jackassfilm 1638 01:19:25,978 --> 01:19:28,502 will be the last one ever. 1639 01:19:28,676 --> 01:19:32,332 After you said that about every single Jackassmovie, 1640 01:19:32,506 --> 01:19:34,682 do you think anyone’s gonna take that seriously? 1641 01:19:34,857 --> 01:19:36,641 As much as I fuckin’ hate to say it 1642 01:19:41,428 --> 01:19:42,690 Don’t say it! 1643 01:19:42,865 --> 01:19:44,518 I’m getting emotional. 1644 01:19:44,692 --> 01:19:45,432 Don’t. 1645 01:19:45,606 --> 01:19:47,130 It it is. 1646 01:19:47,304 --> 01:19:48,304 That’s it. 1647 01:21:11,083 --> 01:21:14,173 Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville! And this is the end! 1648 01:21:14,347 --> 01:21:15,348 Yeah! 1649 01:21:59,871 --> 01:22:01,046 Yeah! Yeah! 1650 01:22:01,220 --> 01:22:02,787 Oh, my God 1651 01:22:04,006 --> 01:22:05,529 What the fuck? 1652 01:22:17,802 --> 01:22:19,760 -God, it feels so good! -Yeah. 1653 01:22:19,935 --> 01:22:21,588 I can finally put my clothes back on. 1654 01:22:21,762 --> 01:22:24,504 I need money to stop in the hospital. 1655 01:22:28,900 --> 01:22:30,597 All right, come on! 1656 01:22:30,771 --> 01:22:32,643 Yeah. A group photo. 1657 01:22:32,817 --> 01:22:34,862 -Yeah, Poopies. Antidope. -Right here, bro. 1658 01:22:39,519 --> 01:22:41,739 I think Poopies is crying. 1659 01:22:41,913 --> 01:22:45,917 -What’s wrong? -This might be the last bit we ever film. 1660 01:22:46,091 --> 01:22:47,547 Nah, you ain’t like this. 1661 01:22:47,571 --> 01:22:49,268 No, I think he’s actually upset. 1662 01:22:51,009 --> 01:22:53,031 So, what’s it like seeing all this old footage? 1663 01:22:53,055 --> 01:22:54,534 Everyone looks like babies. 1664 01:22:54,708 --> 01:22:56,972 Actually, I feel old and I miss Dunn. 1665 01:22:57,146 --> 01:22:58,166 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1666 01:22:58,190 --> 01:22:59,539 I feel old and I miss Dunn. 1667 01:23:05,067 --> 01:23:06,894 What are we doing here? 1668 01:23:07,069 --> 01:23:08,437 Steve-O’s late for his plane, so I’m gonna wake him up. 1669 01:23:08,461 --> 01:23:09,985 -Okay. -Make sure he makes it. 1670 01:23:20,038 --> 01:23:21,735 Steve-O! 1671 01:23:21,909 --> 01:23:23,322 -Spike. -Love ya, buddy. 1672 01:23:23,346 --> 01:23:24,738 Spike Jonze! 1673 01:23:30,570 --> 01:23:32,355 Jeff Tremaine over there! 1674 01:23:32,529 --> 01:23:33,878 John! 1675 01:23:34,052 --> 01:23:35,508 Hey, will you get him back to his room? 1676 01:23:35,532 --> 01:23:37,052 -So good. -Who this? 1677 01:23:39,797 --> 01:23:41,146 I didn’t hear him on there, so... 1678 01:23:41,320 --> 01:23:42,756 -It’s, it’s for you. -Hello? 1679 01:23:42,930 --> 01:23:44,299 Loomis, you’re up this way, right? 1680 01:23:44,323 --> 01:23:45,603 -Yeah. -There’s trouble? 1681 01:23:59,034 --> 01:24:00,861 -You did great today, Jeff. -Stop. God. 1682 01:24:02,646 --> 01:24:04,604 Oh, Johnny Knoxville! 1683 01:24:04,778 --> 01:24:07,564 -This is the end! -This is the end! 1684 01:24:07,738 --> 01:24:08,913 And two. 1685 01:24:16,573 --> 01:24:17,965 Ohhh, shit! 1686 01:24:18,140 --> 01:24:20,142 Look at that fuckin’ fireball! 1687 01:24:25,060 --> 01:24:26,191 Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville! 1688 01:24:26,365 --> 01:24:27,366 Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville! 1689 01:24:27,540 --> 01:24:29,238 Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville. 1690 01:24:29,412 --> 01:24:31,675 Hello, I’m Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass. 1691 01:24:48,866 --> 01:24:50,476 Shit! 1692 01:25:07,319 --> 01:25:09,060 Oh, no! 1693 01:25:11,845 --> 01:25:13,020 That’s semen, all right. 1694 01:25:20,811 --> 01:25:22,595 -Did you fart on me? -Yep. 1695 01:25:22,769 --> 01:25:24,206 Oh, my God, no! 1696 01:25:26,208 --> 01:25:28,035 Ow! 1697 01:25:28,819 --> 01:25:29,863 Ow! 1698 01:25:38,742 --> 01:25:39,743 Phew. 1699 01:25:52,277 --> 01:25:55,672 I hate the fact that I had to fuckin’ 1700 01:25:55,846 --> 01:25:58,588 hang out with alligators and fuckin’ cobras. 1701 01:26:00,285 --> 01:26:02,374 I have dicks branded on my ass. 1702 01:26:04,376 --> 01:26:06,204 Everything fuckin’ sucks. 1703 01:26:13,124 --> 01:26:16,475 Like everybody’s just effin’ with me today. 1704 01:26:18,869 --> 01:26:20,653 And my Misfits sock. 1705 01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:35,189 That went good. 1706 01:26:46,853 --> 01:26:47,854 That’s something. 1707 01:27:05,872 --> 01:27:08,310 Sorry, bro. What happened? 1708 01:27:13,271 --> 01:27:14,577 Fast. And then it just, like 1709 01:27:14,751 --> 01:27:15,969 -Yeah. -it just slammed down. 1710 01:27:34,771 --> 01:27:36,163 Oh, no! 1711 01:28:07,630 --> 01:28:09,109 Is Butterbean okay? 1712 01:28:18,380 --> 01:28:19,119 -Ow! -You okay? 1713 01:28:19,294 --> 01:28:20,817 Oh, yeah, I feel great. 1714 01:28:20,991 --> 01:28:22,035 Good job, man. 1715 01:28:26,388 --> 01:28:27,800 All right, boss, we love you! 1716 01:28:27,824 --> 01:28:29,739 Love you. 1717 01:28:29,913 --> 01:28:31,131 Captain! 1718 01:28:32,568 --> 01:28:34,134 Whoa! 1719 01:28:48,279 --> 01:28:50,325 Ow! 1720 01:28:53,458 --> 01:28:54,677 Oh, my God. 1721 01:28:58,028 --> 01:28:59,028 Look how nervous he is. 1722 01:29:00,683 --> 01:29:03,512 This sucks. Oh, man. 1723 01:29:24,184 --> 01:29:25,229 Spin you around. 1724 01:29:40,984 --> 01:29:42,507 Ow! 1725 01:29:47,512 --> 01:29:48,861 Ow! 1726 01:30:22,373 --> 01:30:23,374 -I need help. -Yeah. 1727 01:30:27,552 --> 01:30:29,728 But, man, that almost turned out real bad. 1728 01:30:29,902 --> 01:30:31,077 Yeah, I was scared, man. 1729 01:30:31,251 --> 01:30:34,254 Shit. Scariest thing ever, man. 1730 01:30:34,429 --> 01:30:37,649 Yeah, that was exactly what we wanted though. 1731 01:30:37,823 --> 01:30:39,695 Oh, God. That is... 1732 01:30:39,869 --> 01:30:41,827 It couldn’t have ended any better. 1733 01:30:42,001 --> 01:30:44,153 That’s... I don’t know if that’s exactly what I wanted. 1734 01:30:44,177 --> 01:30:45,352 That’s exactly what I wanted. 1735 01:30:45,527 --> 01:30:46,527 Yeah. 1736 01:30:49,008 --> 01:30:52,011 Reminder. The stunts in this movie were performed by professionals, 1737 01:30:52,185 --> 01:30:53,665 so for your safety 1738 01:30:53,839 --> 01:30:55,406 and the protection of those around you, 1739 01:30:55,580 --> 01:30:57,620 do not attempt any of the stunts you have just seen. 112325

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