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1
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:08,109
On tonight's show,
2
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:11,029
Set phasers to stun for
Wayne Brady.
3
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,210
It's worse than that.
He's dead, Colin Mochrie.
4
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:17,039
And if I give her anymore,
she'll blow, Ryan Stiles.
5
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:19,129
I'm your host, Drew Carey.
Come on down,
let's have some fun.
6
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:21,179
[cheering]
7
00:00:25,260 --> 00:00:28,289
-Hello. Thank you very much.
-[cheering]
8
00:00:32,109 --> 00:00:34,060
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
9
00:00:34,079 --> 00:00:36,159
The show where
everything's made up
and the points don't matter.
10
00:00:36,179 --> 00:00:37,170
That's right.
They don't matter.
11
00:00:37,189 --> 00:00:39,250
Just like the plot
of a porno movie.
12
00:00:42,049 --> 00:00:44,100
If you've never
seen the show before,
what happens is
13
00:00:44,119 --> 00:00:47,240
these four guys
are gonna come up,
14
00:00:47,259 --> 00:00:50,119
and then I give them points,
which, like I said,
don't matter.
15
00:00:50,140 --> 00:00:52,079
And, uh, then we get
to pick a winner
16
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,100
and the winner gets to do
a little something special
for you
17
00:00:54,119 --> 00:00:55,250
that's fun for
the whole family.
18
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:05,090
Let's start with the first game
called "Let's Make a Date."
19
00:01:05,109 --> 00:01:07,209
This is for all four of you.
Uh, Ryan, Colin and Greg,
20
00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:10,069
you're gonna be contestants
on a dating game-type show
21
00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:14,219
hoping to be picked by Wayne,
22
00:01:14,239 --> 00:01:16,109
[laughter]
23
00:01:16,129 --> 00:01:18,030
All I gotta do is read this.
How about that?
24
00:01:18,049 --> 00:01:21,069
Each of them has been given
a strange characteristic
or identity.
25
00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:22,180
Wayne, you're gonna
question them to see
26
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,219
who you want to go
on a date with.
27
00:01:25,129 --> 00:01:27,180
When you're ready, Wayne,
off you go.
28
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,260
[clears throat]
Hello, bachelors!
29
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,069
[cheering]
30
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:38,280
Satan is in this house,
you slattern.
31
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:43,069
Satan's in the house,
it's a party! Hey!
[humming]
32
00:01:47,229 --> 00:01:50,030
He's so silly,
bachelor number one.
33
00:01:50,049 --> 00:01:52,240
No, but really,
bachelor number two,
34
00:01:52,259 --> 00:01:56,289
I like a good fine cheese
with wine sometimes.
35
00:01:57,009 --> 00:02:01,069
I like a man who appreciates
good culinary delights.
36
00:02:01,090 --> 00:02:03,150
What tantalizes your palates?
37
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,079
I just like meat.
38
00:02:06,099 --> 00:02:09,099
Meat! Meat! Meat!
Fresh meat!
39
00:02:17,199 --> 00:02:20,090
Hmm, it sounds like
you my missing link.
40
00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:25,060
-Bachelor number three. Hello.
-Hello.
41
00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:28,150
Now, every now and then,
I like to go down
and shake the booty.
42
00:02:28,170 --> 00:02:33,020
But, so, I wanna know
what kind of music make you
shake your groove thing?
43
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:38,229
I don't shake my groove thing!
44
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,270
And I make sure other people
don't shake theirs.
45
00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:43,219
They'll show you how to work
the pole, but you can't
touch her, you're out.
46
00:02:48,009 --> 00:02:49,280
It sound like you got
a little bit of an attitude.
47
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,219
You better watch it,
I'll cut you.
48
00:02:54,069 --> 00:02:56,240
-Bachelor number one...
-[singing hymns]
49
00:02:59,009 --> 00:03:00,240
I love
Saturday morning cartoons.
50
00:03:00,259 --> 00:03:03,099
What do you like to do
on a Saturday morning?
51
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,050
Pray...
52
00:03:09,159 --> 00:03:10,159
Go, dem--
53
00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:14,189
[Greg] The power
of the lord compels you.
54
00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:16,039
The power of the lord
compels you.
55
00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:17,199
The power of
the lord compels you.
56
00:03:17,219 --> 00:03:19,259
-The power of the lord
compels you.
-Stay down!
57
00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:25,259
Sit down! Sit down!
Both of you, sit down!
58
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,259
Both of ya!
59
00:03:28,090 --> 00:03:29,110
Sit down.
60
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,199
[audience cheering]
61
00:03:40,069 --> 00:03:44,240
Whoo.
62
00:03:44,259 --> 00:03:47,240
Now, bachelor number two,
the same question for you.
63
00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:49,159
-What do you enjoy
doing on a Saturday--
-[grunts]
64
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:55,250
Be gone, demon!
Be gone, demon!
65
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,079
[buzzer sounds]
66
00:04:05,259 --> 00:04:08,159
Okay, Wayne, uh,
time to guess who they are.
67
00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:11,000
Uh, let's see,
bachelor number one
68
00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:13,000
is a TV evangelist.
69
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,189
In this country.
In other countries...
70
00:04:18,149 --> 00:04:20,069
-he's a...
-[Drew] I'll give you a clue.
71
00:04:20,089 --> 00:04:21,120
"Out, demon."
72
00:04:21,139 --> 00:04:23,160
Oh, he's an exorcis-er.
73
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,279
[cheering]
74
00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:28,220
Yeah.
75
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:33,009
An exorciser.
76
00:04:33,029 --> 00:04:35,209
Okay, and bachelor number two
was an irate hockey player.
77
00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:36,189
[Drew] Yeah.
78
00:04:39,259 --> 00:04:45,000
Bachelor number three...
79
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:46,199
You were...
You looked
to me kinda like...
80
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,279
You were an usher
at a movie theater.
81
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,110
-Yes.
-Close enough! Close enough!
82
00:04:52,129 --> 00:04:54,069
He was a strip club bouncer.
83
00:04:55,199 --> 00:04:57,009
[buzzer sounds]
84
00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:03,269
Ryan had to pretend to be
a strip club bouncer.
85
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:06,050
Strip clubs are a place where
women take off their clothes,
86
00:05:06,069 --> 00:05:08,029
-you give them 20 bucks.
-Oh!
87
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:10,110
[Drew] I don't approve of it,
but that's...
88
00:05:10,129 --> 00:05:11,279
So, you know,
it was tough for you to do,
89
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,040
so I'm gonna
give you 5,000 points.
90
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,220
Okay, let's go on to a game
called "Film Dub."
91
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,199
This is called "Film Dub."
This is, uh...
92
00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:25,050
I'm gonna show a piece of film
to Ryan, Greg and Colin.
93
00:05:25,069 --> 00:05:27,100
Uh, they're gonna
provide the voices...
94
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,129
They're gonna provide
the voices for the clip.
95
00:05:29,149 --> 00:05:32,029
And the scene I'd like you
to improvise is
96
00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:33,209
"One Day in the Saloon."
97
00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:35,079
"One Day in the Saloon."
98
00:05:39,199 --> 00:05:43,060
-Gosh darn you!
You... [mutters angrily]
-[Ryan laughing]
99
00:05:43,079 --> 00:05:45,269
Hey, mister,
how'd you like a cold drink?
100
00:05:45,290 --> 00:05:47,040
[Ryan laughing]
101
00:05:47,060 --> 00:05:49,159
-[Greg] There you go.
-[Ryan exclaims]
102
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:51,180
[Colin] What seems
to be the trouble here?
What you doing?
103
00:05:51,199 --> 00:05:57,129
[Greg] I can't understand what
you're saying with that accent.
104
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,050
-[Greg] Oh, my God...
-[Ryan] Hey, hey, hey, hey.
105
00:05:59,069 --> 00:06:00,180
What's all the fighting here?
106
00:06:00,199 --> 00:06:02,120
[Greg] You're a big scary man
in a black hat.
107
00:06:02,139 --> 00:06:04,100
[Colin] What are you
doing here, Father?
108
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,129
[Ryan] Well, I've come to...
109
00:06:06,149 --> 00:06:09,019
teach the word of God
to all...
110
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,050
[Greg] Well, I work in a saloon
and I'm only eight.
111
00:06:11,069 --> 00:06:13,050
[Colin] No,
he's 14 if he's a day!
112
00:06:13,069 --> 00:06:14,290
And you, how old are you?
113
00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:19,120
You know, I've got
a confession to make myself.
114
00:06:19,139 --> 00:06:21,269
I'm not really a priest,
I've just got my
shirt on backwards.
115
00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:26,129
[Greg] That's okay.
116
00:06:26,149 --> 00:06:28,000
[Ryan] Billy. Billy. Billy...
117
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,000
I'm sorry, I thought
you were talking.
118
00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:32,290
[Greg] Come on.
119
00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:43,199
Thousand points for everybody!
Usually a thousand per view!
120
00:06:43,220 --> 00:06:45,139
999! 999!
121
00:06:45,159 --> 00:06:47,100
I'm giving the points away!
Only 999!
122
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:51,120
I'm crazy!
123
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,090
Now, let's go on
to a game called
"Three-Headed Broadway Stars."
124
00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:57,209
For Wayne, Colin and Ryan.
125
00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:02,290
In this game, they're gonna be
singing a Broadway hit
126
00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:07,089
they're gonna make up.
Each making up
one word at a time.
127
00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:10,160
With the help of
Laura Hall and Linda Taylor
on piano and guitar.
128
00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,189
[cheering]
129
00:07:14,019 --> 00:07:15,279
Hey, speaking of musicals,
look for Geppetto
130
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,089
right here on ABC
coming this May,
131
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:18,050
starring Drew Carey.
132
00:07:19,069 --> 00:07:20,220
Uh, now we need
from the audience
133
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,139
is the name of
an unlikely musical.
134
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,290
-An unlikely musical.
-[woman] Bob!
135
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,100
-Bob.
-[Drew] Bob?
136
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,050
[man] Bob.
137
00:07:30,139 --> 00:07:32,139
Bob the musical.
138
00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:35,060
The big hit love song
from that show is called...
139
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,170
-[woman] "Flea Dip."
-[Drew] What?
140
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,060
-[woman] "Flea Dip."
-"Flea Dip."
141
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:42,240
The big hit love song
"Flea Dip"
142
00:07:42,259 --> 00:07:44,279
from the hit musical, Bob.
143
00:07:46,079 --> 00:07:48,079
[romantic piano playing]
144
00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:53,029
-♪ My ♪
-♪ Love ♪
145
00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:54,269
-♪ Is ♪
-♪ Bob ♪
146
00:07:57,199 --> 00:07:59,000
-♪ He ♪
-♪ Always ♪
147
00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:00,189
-♪ Cares ♪
-♪ For ♪
148
00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:01,230
♪ Me ♪
149
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:06,000
-♪ Fleas ♪
-♪ Don't ♪
150
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,189
-♪ Come ♪
-♪ Very ♪
151
00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:09,100
♪ Of-ten ♪
152
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:12,139
-♪ But ♪
-♪ When ♪
153
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,029
-♪ He ♪
-♪ Does ♪
154
00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:17,019
-♪ It's ♪
-♪ Curtain ♪
155
00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:19,209
♪ Bob ♪
156
00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:21,129
-♪ Flea ♪
-♪ Dip ♪
157
00:08:21,149 --> 00:08:22,160
♪ Bob ♪
158
00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:25,170
♪ Please ♪
159
00:08:25,189 --> 00:08:27,220
-♪ Use ♪
-♪ My ♪
160
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,199
[cheering]
161
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,129
-♪ When ♪
-♪ You ♪
162
00:08:33,149 --> 00:08:34,149
-♪ Touch ♪
-♪ Me ♪
163
00:08:34,169 --> 00:08:35,200
-♪ In ♪
-♪ That ♪
164
00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:38,129
-♪ Special ♪
-♪ Way ♪
165
00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:40,049
-♪ Fleas ♪
-♪ Jump ♪
166
00:08:40,070 --> 00:08:41,220
-♪ And ♪
-♪They ♪
167
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,059
♪ Scatter ♪
168
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,090
♪ Away ♪
169
00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:46,259
-♪ Flea ♪
-♪ Flea ♪
170
00:08:46,279 --> 00:08:48,200
-♪ Flea ♪
-♪ Flea ♪
171
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:50,029
-♪ Flea ♪
-♪ Ha ♪
172
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,200
♪ And ♪
173
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:58,009
-♪ Flea ♪
-♪ Away ♪
174
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,200
[speaking indistinctly]
175
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,139
Okay, hey, don't go away.
176
00:09:07,159 --> 00:09:08,149
We're gonna see a commercial.
177
00:09:08,169 --> 00:09:10,110
We'll be right back
with more of what?
178
00:09:10,129 --> 00:09:12,200
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Don't go anywhere.
179
00:09:17,129 --> 00:09:19,240
Welcome back to
Whose Line is it Anyway?
180
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,210
The show where
everything's made up,
and the points don't matter.
181
00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:22,289
Uh, tonight's winner,
by the way,
182
00:09:23,009 --> 00:09:24,169
gets a lifetime supply
of ChapStick.
183
00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:27,220
That's right.
One tube of ChapStick.
184
00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:31,120
It'll last you
the rest of your life.
185
00:09:33,009 --> 00:09:35,059
Okay, let's go on to
a game called
186
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,100
"Film, TV and Theater Styles."
One of my favorite games.
187
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,250
This is for Ryan,
Colin and Greg.
188
00:09:38,269 --> 00:09:42,169
You're gonna act out a scene,
189
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,240
that our audience here
is going to suggest to me.
190
00:09:44,259 --> 00:09:46,059
Uh, now what I need
from you is like,
191
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,149
styles of television shows
or films or theater...
192
00:09:48,169 --> 00:09:50,120
[audience
speaking indistinctly]
193
00:09:50,139 --> 00:09:52,190
High school drama
is a good one.
194
00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,100
Bergman.
195
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,200
After school special is good.
196
00:09:58,220 --> 00:10:00,259
-[man] Real world!
-Real world. Oh, yeah!
197
00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:03,100
[all laughing]
198
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:04,250
Real to who,
that's what I wanna know.
199
00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:08,169
Okay, yeah, we all
live in Hawaii. Okay, uh...
200
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:11,059
What's gonna happen is
we're gonna start
a scene out as normal,
201
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,159
and I'm gonna come in
with some of these styles
202
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:14,169
as I can fit 'em in
after they get started.
203
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:18,110
And your scene is
Ryan and Greg are
two archaeologists
204
00:10:18,129 --> 00:10:21,149
about to open the tomb of
the cursed mummy Colin.
205
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:28,039
So start normal.
206
00:10:28,059 --> 00:10:29,149
[mimics scraping]
207
00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:34,120
Why don't we try the handle?
208
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:35,269
Oh.
209
00:10:38,049 --> 00:10:40,289
All right, why don't you
just do it then, Greg.
210
00:10:41,009 --> 00:10:42,179
Hey, there's no need
to get huffy about it.
211
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,090
We're both
accredited scientists.
212
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:47,220
That's true.
213
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,080
-[gasps]
-There it is.
214
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,279
Who has disturbed my tomb?
215
00:10:53,059 --> 00:10:54,120
My God!
216
00:10:54,139 --> 00:10:56,059
It's the mummy from Canada.
217
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,269
[buzzer sounding]
218
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,059
And I...
219
00:11:04,169 --> 00:11:05,250
[buzzer sounding]
220
00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:08,120
High school drama?
221
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:14,090
Now that we have
founded the mummy,
222
00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:18,029
we may go back to Europe
and claim the reward
223
00:11:18,049 --> 00:11:22,230
that the national society
has offered... us.
224
00:11:24,129 --> 00:11:27,029
And then, when we are famous,
225
00:11:27,049 --> 00:11:28,279
we can have lots of money,
226
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000
and then we'll be rich, too.
227
00:11:32,019 --> 00:11:35,090
And have our own show
on Discovery Channel...
228
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:37,080
-[buzzer sounding]
-...and stuff.
229
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,029
-Right?
-Bergman film.
230
00:11:42,259 --> 00:11:45,039
I have been cursed
for many years.
231
00:11:48,159 --> 00:11:51,049
I have found you,
and now I am cursed.
232
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:01,190
[scoffs] Have you ever seen
anything like this, Charlie?
233
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:03,019
No, I have not.
234
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,169
[Drew laughing]
235
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:10,100
[buzzer sounding]
236
00:12:13,169 --> 00:12:16,039
Can't you see?
The mummy's got a problem.
237
00:12:19,159 --> 00:12:20,279
He's on rugs!
238
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:26,019
Hey, man. Just say no to rugs.
239
00:12:26,039 --> 00:12:28,149
It's easy for you.
I'm so tightly wrapped,
240
00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:30,240
-I could go off at any minute.
-[buzzer sounds]
241
00:12:32,259 --> 00:12:34,090
[Drew] The real world.
242
00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:36,120
[gasps] Dude, I'm drunk.
243
00:12:42,019 --> 00:12:44,279
Guys, guys, guys...
244
00:12:55,039 --> 00:12:57,090
[buzzer sounding]
245
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,059
Okay, thank you very much.
246
00:13:04,149 --> 00:13:06,169
Well, I got to imagine
Ryan naked.
247
00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:08,110
So 1,000 points for you. Ryan.
248
00:13:08,129 --> 00:13:10,009
[mouthing]
249
00:13:13,049 --> 00:13:16,070
Now, let's go on to
a game called
"Greatest Hits."
250
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:19,009
Greatest Hits. This is for
Colin, Ryan and Wayne,
251
00:13:19,029 --> 00:13:22,039
with Laura Hall and
Linda Taylor on guitar!
252
00:13:22,059 --> 00:13:23,159
[cheering]
253
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:29,080
Colin and Ryan are gonna be
TV voiceover guys
254
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,289
talking about the latest
compilation album.
255
00:13:31,009 --> 00:13:34,289
And Wayne is gonna sing
snippets of the songs,
if he can.
256
00:13:35,009 --> 00:13:36,179
[audience exclaiming]
257
00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:38,240
[Drew] That's right.
258
00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:48,169
So, what we need from
the audience is
a suggestion of
259
00:13:48,190 --> 00:13:51,190
a sort of profession
you wouldn't normally
sing songs about.
260
00:13:51,210 --> 00:13:53,149
[all shouting]
261
00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:56,090
I heard English teachers.
Someone said...
262
00:13:57,210 --> 00:14:00,090
Dog walker... Okay, stop.
263
00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:02,070
What we're gonna do is,
264
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:05,049
Songs of the Dog Walker,
a fine profession.
265
00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:06,220
Whenever you're ready,
go ahead.
266
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,110
Hi. We'll be back to
your special movie
267
00:14:09,129 --> 00:14:10,250
Full of Monty
in just a moment.
268
00:14:10,269 --> 00:14:13,110
But first, have we got
a deal for you.
269
00:14:13,129 --> 00:14:16,080
The Beatles, Rolling Stones,
Barbra Streisand,
270
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:18,059
Bruce Springsteen, these are
just some of the people
271
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,070
who threatened to sue
if we used their songs.
272
00:14:22,159 --> 00:14:24,190
You know, there are
so many hits on this song
273
00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:28,179
that it was hard
to compile them
in just this set.
274
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,210
Boy, we should have songs
of the English teacher
to help you out.
275
00:14:33,029 --> 00:14:34,200
Stop it now.
276
00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:41,139
"Scoop It Up."
277
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,149
[bluegrass tune]
278
00:14:48,029 --> 00:14:50,169
♪ Oh, I had me a dog
And the dog was super ♪
279
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,120
♪ But he pooped on the lawn
So need a poop scooper ♪
280
00:14:52,139 --> 00:14:55,110
♪ And I had to scoop up
All of his doodie ♪
281
00:14:55,129 --> 00:14:57,059
♪ Because everyday
That he wouldn't go on ♪
282
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,250
♪ And he went on and on
In the neighbor's lawn ♪
283
00:14:58,269 --> 00:15:01,279
♪ And I will have to
Smack his doggy booty ♪
284
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,019
♪ So, don't you understand
'Cause the poopin' man ♪
285
00:15:04,039 --> 00:15:06,269
♪ And a pooper scooper
That it ain't as super ♪
286
00:15:06,289 --> 00:15:08,049
♪ My pooper scooper ♪
287
00:15:10,129 --> 00:15:12,070
[cheering]
288
00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:21,190
What are you doing?
289
00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:23,129
The marriage only lasted
a week.
290
00:15:23,149 --> 00:15:24,139
Shut up.
291
00:15:24,159 --> 00:15:25,159
You know...
292
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:30,210
You know, in the 1970's
when I was in high school,
293
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:33,049
I belonged to a band
294
00:15:33,070 --> 00:15:35,279
called The Happy Funk Band.
295
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:39,100
Until an unfortunate typo
caused us to be expelled
from school.
296
00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:45,049
But funk, it is still
very close to my heart.
297
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:49,210
It brings me great pleasure
to introduce this
great funk hit,
298
00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:51,090
"Don't Be Sniffin' There."
299
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,250
[funky tune playing]
300
00:15:55,269 --> 00:15:59,110
♪ Yeah, yeah, ba-ba-baby ♪
301
00:15:59,129 --> 00:16:03,029
♪ Don't you see
At the dog park I jam ♪
302
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:06,200
♪ Sniffin' on my butt
To find out what sex I am ♪
303
00:16:06,220 --> 00:16:09,279
♪ Don't sniff that, no, no ♪
304
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,019
♪ Don't sniff-sniff that
No, no ♪
305
00:16:16,139 --> 00:16:20,049
♪ Don't sniff on my behind
Don't sniff that ♪
306
00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:21,139
♪ Oh, break it down ♪
307
00:16:28,149 --> 00:16:29,179
Damn!
308
00:16:31,149 --> 00:16:33,120
♪ Don't sniff that ♪
309
00:16:33,139 --> 00:16:36,059
♪ Yeah ♪
310
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,039
[all cheering]
311
00:16:42,110 --> 00:16:43,230
Hey, Colin,
how much would you pay
312
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:46,039
for a 500 CD set
such as this?
313
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,210
I'm not telling you!
314
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,149
-You know, Colin...
-What, Ryan?
315
00:16:55,169 --> 00:16:58,059
When I want to get romantic
with the third wife,
316
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,080
there's only one song...
317
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:03,029
One song
that really seems to do it.
318
00:17:03,049 --> 00:17:08,180
And what would that be?
319
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,119
"No More Soft Food For You."
320
00:17:11,069 --> 00:17:13,019
[romantic tune playing]
321
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:17,019
♪ Ah-ha ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
322
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:19,259
♪ Ah, ah ♪
323
00:17:22,009 --> 00:17:24,019
♪ Because my doggy ♪
324
00:17:25,019 --> 00:17:27,089
♪ Is 13 years old ♪
325
00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:33,000
♪ And she can't chew
Anything hard no more ♪
326
00:17:34,259 --> 00:17:39,069
♪ All night and day
She cries and moans ♪
327
00:17:39,089 --> 00:17:44,220
♪ It feels like she's passing
A kidney stone, oh, doggy ♪
328
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:49,089
♪ No more soft foods
for you-hoo
Oh, oh, oh ♪
329
00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:52,160
[howls]
330
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,250
[howls]
331
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:01,259
[buzzer sounds]
332
00:18:03,029 --> 00:18:04,210
[Drew] Come on, that was great.
333
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:10,009
Hey. Don't go away,
we're gonna see a commercial.
334
00:18:10,029 --> 00:18:11,109
When we come back,
the winner gets to do
335
00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:12,269
a little something
special with me.
336
00:18:12,289 --> 00:18:14,029
So, don't go anywhere.
337
00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:20,099
Hey, welcome back to
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
338
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,069
Tonight's winner, Wayne Brady.
Wayne Brady's the winner.
339
00:18:25,279 --> 00:18:27,269
So, he's gonna sit
at the desk and relax.
340
00:18:27,289 --> 00:18:30,059
We're going to do a game
called "World's Worst."
341
00:18:30,079 --> 00:18:33,190
So why don't we...
342
00:18:33,210 --> 00:18:36,029
and we're gonna
give you examples
343
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:37,250
of the world's
worst what, Wayne?
344
00:18:37,269 --> 00:18:40,049
You're giving examples of
the world's worst
345
00:18:40,069 --> 00:18:42,220
things to say at
a major awards ceremony.
346
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:47,000
Hey, all you little people!
Screw you!
347
00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:48,130
[buzzer sounds]
348
00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:52,009
I will not accept this award
349
00:18:52,029 --> 00:18:55,109
until they tear down the wall
that separates Germany.
350
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,029
-Thank you.
-[buzzer sounds]
351
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:08,039
Um, Bill couldn't be here
tonight because, uh...
352
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:11,190
he's a raging alcoholic, and...
353
00:19:11,210 --> 00:19:14,240
But I know that
if he was here,
he'd just go... [gags]
354
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,130
[buzzer sounds]
355
00:19:19,029 --> 00:19:21,089
I'm the greatest director
of all time. Woo-hoo!
356
00:19:21,109 --> 00:19:23,029
I'm the king
of the world! Whoo!
357
00:19:23,049 --> 00:19:24,170
[buzzer sounds]
358
00:19:29,279 --> 00:19:32,019
Thank you.
I'd like to thank everybody
I've ever met.
359
00:19:36,130 --> 00:19:39,289
-Shirley. Phil. Aunt Doris.
-[buzzer sounds]
360
00:19:40,009 --> 00:19:42,200
-Uncle Peter. Henry Fonda.
-[buzzer sounds]
361
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:45,009
-Jill, the weather girl. Susan.
-[buzzer sounds]
362
00:19:45,029 --> 00:19:47,150
-My first wife Sheryl.
Dick York.
-[buzzer sounds]
363
00:19:51,269 --> 00:19:56,089
You tolerate me!
You really, really tolerate me!
364
00:19:56,109 --> 00:19:58,039
[buzzer sounds]
365
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,150
Well, I'd like to thank
everyone who made this...
366
00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:05,000
What?
367
00:20:07,190 --> 00:20:09,069
Satan is my master?
368
00:20:09,089 --> 00:20:10,180
[buzzer sounds]
369
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:16,269
I would like to thank ABC
370
00:20:16,289 --> 00:20:19,079
for giving me
the Drew Carey Award. Uh...
371
00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:24,119
It only goes to one lucky guy
with glasses a year,
372
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,269
and gosh, darn it,
tonight I'm the king of the...
373
00:20:26,289 --> 00:20:28,180
-General area.
-[buzzer sounds]
374
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,160
[all cheering]
375
00:20:33,180 --> 00:20:34,220
[laughter and cheering]
376
00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:41,099
[buzzer sounding]
377
00:20:42,150 --> 00:20:46,160
[Drew] Oh, that's it.
378
00:20:46,180 --> 00:20:47,259
Stay right where you are.
379
00:20:51,099 --> 00:20:55,099
Welcome back.
380
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,140
They're gonna read the credits
as two cattle auctioneers.
381
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,200
Two cattle auctioneers.
Goodnight, everybody.
382
00:21:28,109 --> 00:21:29,269
[audience cheering]
26455
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