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1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:03,169
Drew: GOOD EVENING, EVERYBODY,
2
00:00:03,189 --> 00:00:06,129
AND WELCOME
TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"
3
00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:09,080
ON TONIGHT'S SHOW -- "MAY I SEE
YOUR LICENSE?" WAYNE BRADY.
4
00:00:09,099 --> 00:00:12,009
"DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST
YOU WERE GOING?" CHIP ESTEN.
5
00:00:12,029 --> 00:00:14,210
"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN
SILENT" COLIN MOCHRIE.
6
00:00:14,230 --> 00:00:17,089
AND "OH, YOU'LL TALK"
RYAN STILES!
7
00:00:17,109 --> 00:00:20,219
I'M YOUR HOST DREW CAREY.
COME ON DOWN.
8
00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:23,050
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.
9
00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:27,109
♪ DA-DA DA-DA-DA ♪
10
00:00:27,129 --> 00:00:30,199
YES, HELLO.
11
00:00:34,189 --> 00:00:36,030
I DON'T GET IT, EITHER.
12
00:00:36,049 --> 00:00:38,130
WELCOME TO "WHOSE LINE
IS IT ANYWAY?",
13
00:00:38,149 --> 00:00:40,170
THE SHOW WHERE EVERYTHING
IS MADE UP,
14
00:00:40,189 --> 00:00:42,170
AND THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.
15
00:00:42,189 --> 00:00:46,149
YEP, JUST LIKE THE POLICE
DEPARTMENT IN COLOMBIA.
16
00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:49,070
OUR PERFORMERS MAKE UP
EVERYTHING YOU SEE
17
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,219
RIGHT ON THE SPOT HERE
18
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,219
BASED ON SUGGESTIONS
FROM THE AUDIENCE
19
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,289
AND THINGS WRITTEN
ON THESE CARDS.
20
00:00:55,009 --> 00:00:57,270
THEY'VE NEVER SEEN
THESE SUGGESTIONS.
21
00:00:57,289 --> 00:00:59,289
AT THE END,
WE PICK A WINNER.
22
00:01:00,009 --> 00:01:01,289
THE WINNER GETS TO DO
SOMETHING SPECIAL.
23
00:01:02,009 --> 00:01:03,140
THE LOSER GETS TWO TRIPS
24
00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:05,109
ABOARD THE BEAUTIFUL
QUEEN MARY.
25
00:01:05,129 --> 00:01:08,049
NOT THE BOAT,
BUT, UH, YOU KNOW...
26
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,140
WE'RE DOING
THE BEST WE CAN.
27
00:01:10,159 --> 00:01:12,019
SO --
28
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,180
HA HA HA HA.
29
00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:19,000
LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.
30
00:01:19,019 --> 00:01:21,280
LET'S START IT OFF
WITH "LET'S MAKE A DATE."
31
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,140
THIS IS ALL FOUR.
32
00:01:23,159 --> 00:01:25,140
CHIP, YOU'RE APPEARING
ON A DATING-TYPE SHOW,
33
00:01:25,159 --> 00:01:28,120
AND RYAN, COLIN, AND WAYNE
ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE
34
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:30,120
YOU GET TO CHOOSE FROM.
35
00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:32,000
WE'VE GIVEN THEM EACH
36
00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:34,189
A STRANGE CHARACTERISTIC
OR IDENTITY.
37
00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:38,120
CHIP'S GOING TO TRY
TO ESTABLISH WHO THEY ARE.
38
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:40,270
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY,
CHIP, OFF YOU GO.
39
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,120
BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
40
00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:48,210
HEY, DUDE.
41
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:53,229
[ IMITATES KENNY ]
42
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:56,229
YEAH, DUDE, THAT'S FUNNY.
43
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:59,030
WOW. EDGY.
44
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,209
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO,
I'M REALLY DRUNK RIGHT NOW.
45
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:05,060
IF YOU WERE A DRINK,
46
00:02:05,079 --> 00:02:07,260
WHAT KIND OF DRINK
WOULD YOU BE?
47
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:09,129
DRINK.
48
00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:15,169
I'M NOT TELLING YOU
ANYTHING!
49
00:02:15,189 --> 00:02:18,039
NOTHING! YOU'RE INHUMAN!
50
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:20,030
[ SOBBING ]
51
00:02:20,050 --> 00:02:21,139
SHUT UP.
52
00:02:21,159 --> 00:02:24,110
Chip: BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,
IF YOU WERE IN A ZOO,
53
00:02:24,129 --> 00:02:26,129
WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL
WOULD YOU BE,
54
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,189
AND WHY?
55
00:02:34,259 --> 00:02:37,020
WELL, I CAN'T REALLY
TELL YOU,
56
00:02:37,039 --> 00:02:39,120
OR THAT WOULD RUIN
THE WHOLE THING,
57
00:02:39,139 --> 00:02:41,180
BUT I'D LOVE
A DATE WITH YOU,
58
00:02:41,199 --> 00:02:43,170
AND I'D JUST EAT YOU UP.
59
00:02:43,189 --> 00:02:45,180
MYSTERIOUS.
BACHELOR NUMBER ONE,
60
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:48,090
YOU SEEM LIKE
A REALLY FUN KIND OF GUY.
61
00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:51,079
WHERE WOULD YOU TAKE ME
ON A DATE?
62
00:02:51,099 --> 00:02:53,079
[ Imitating Cartman ]
I DON'T KNOW.
63
00:02:53,099 --> 00:02:56,079
I MIGHT TAKE YOU TO GO
GET SOME CHEESY POOFS.
64
00:02:56,099 --> 00:02:57,280
I DON'T KNOW.
65
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,120
[ Imitating Chef ]
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
66
00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:03,099
♪ I MIGHT WANT TO TAKE YOU
DOWN TO THE LAKE SIDE ♪
67
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,030
♪ I WANT TO TAKE YOU
DOWN, BABY ♪
68
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:10,199
LET'S GO, CHILDREN.
HA HA HA HA.
69
00:03:10,219 --> 00:03:12,199
YOU SOUND DOUBLE-DREAMY.
70
00:03:12,219 --> 00:03:15,219
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO...
71
00:03:18,289 --> 00:03:20,060
IF WE GET MARRIED,
72
00:03:20,079 --> 00:03:23,060
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE
A LOT OF CHILDREN?
73
00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:26,219
YOU KNOW I CAN'T ANYMORE!
74
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,069
[ GROANS ]
75
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,259
[ MAKES SIZZLING SOUND ]
76
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,069
AAH! AAH!
77
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:37,210
AAH!
78
00:03:40,079 --> 00:03:43,039
Wayne: OH, MY GOD,
79
00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:45,259
THEY KILLED
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO!
80
00:03:55,009 --> 00:03:58,289
WELL, WHOEVER I CHOOSE,
YOU PEOPLE CAN PARTY.
81
00:03:59,009 --> 00:04:01,090
BACHELOR NUMBER THREE,
WOULD YOU MAKE
82
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:04,189
A GOOD PRESIDENTIAL
CANDIDATE, AND WHY?
83
00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:07,229
OH, I THINK I'D MAKE
THE BEST PRESID--
84
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:27,100
[ BUZZER ]
85
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:40,029
ALL RIGHT, CHIP --
HA HA HA HA.
86
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,170
GUESS WHO THEY ARE.
87
00:04:41,189 --> 00:04:43,019
OKAY, BACHELOR NUMBER ONE
88
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,110
IS THE ENTIRE CAST
OF "SOUTH PARK."
89
00:04:45,129 --> 00:04:46,230
YES.
90
00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:48,279
I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU GUESSED IT.
91
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,050
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT GAVE IT AWAY.
92
00:04:51,069 --> 00:04:53,159
BACHELOR NUMBER TWO
IS A TORTURE VICTIM.
93
00:04:53,180 --> 00:04:55,170
YES.
94
00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:57,209
BETTER THAN THAT,
95
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,110
HE'S A MEDIEVAL
TORTURE VICTIM.
96
00:04:59,129 --> 00:05:00,269
UH-HUH. TWIST.
97
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,009
BACHELOR NUMBER THREE
IS A...VULTURE?
98
00:05:04,029 --> 00:05:05,160
YES.
99
00:05:14,089 --> 00:05:16,060
1,000 POINTS,
EACH OF YOU.
100
00:05:16,079 --> 00:05:18,060
HEY, REMEMBER
WHEN THESE POINTS
101
00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:20,259
USED TO BE WORTH
SOMETHING?
102
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,139
LET'S GO ON TO A GAME
103
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,149
CALLED "3-HEADED
BROADWAY STARS."
104
00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:27,139
THIS IS FOR WAYNE,
COLIN, AND RYAN,
105
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,240
WITH THE HELP
OF LAURA HALL, LINDA TAYLOR.
106
00:05:31,259 --> 00:05:33,259
THEY'RE GOING
TO PRETEND TO BE
107
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:36,019
A STRANGE
3-HEADED BROADWAY STAR.
108
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,180
THEY'RE GOING TO SING
A BROADWAY HIT.
109
00:05:38,199 --> 00:05:41,110
THEY HAVE TO MAKE UP
THE SONG ONE WORD AT A TIME,
110
00:05:41,129 --> 00:05:43,019
EACH SINGING
ONLY ONE WORD.
111
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,120
WHAT WE NEED
112
00:05:44,139 --> 00:05:46,209
IS THE SUGGESTION
OF AN UNLIKELY MUSICAL.
113
00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:48,170
[ SHOUTING ]
114
00:05:48,189 --> 00:05:49,290
WHAT?
115
00:05:50,009 --> 00:05:52,009
"LUMBERJACKS IN LOVE."
116
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,259
NOW, GIVE ME THE TITLE
OF THE BIG HIT LOVE SONG
117
00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,259
FROM "LUMBERJACKS IN LOVE."
118
00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,180
"TIMBER."
119
00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:05,290
SO, YOU'RE GOING TO SING
THE BIG HIT LOVE SONG
120
00:06:06,009 --> 00:06:08,009
ONE WORD AT A TIME --
121
00:06:08,029 --> 00:06:10,209
"TIMBER,"
FROM "LUMBERJACKS IN LOVE."
122
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:12,129
TAKE IT AWAY.
123
00:06:17,230 --> 00:06:19,060
♪ TREES ♪
124
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,209
♪ FALL ♪
125
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:23,009
♪ DOWN ♪
126
00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:24,009
♪ MY ♪
127
00:06:24,029 --> 00:06:25,009
♪ JOB ♪
128
00:06:25,029 --> 00:06:26,009
♪ IS ♪
129
00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:27,009
♪ TO ♪
130
00:06:27,029 --> 00:06:28,009
♪ LET ♪
131
00:06:28,029 --> 00:06:29,000
♪ THEM ♪
132
00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:30,259
♪ DROWN ♪
133
00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,009
♪ EVERY ♪
134
00:06:32,029 --> 00:06:33,060
♪ DAY ♪
135
00:06:33,079 --> 00:06:34,060
♪ I ♪
136
00:06:34,079 --> 00:06:35,110
♪ WONDER ♪
137
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:36,209
♪ WHY ♪
138
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,209
♪ AND ♪
139
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,209
♪ I ♪
140
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:39,209
♪ CUT ♪
141
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:40,209
♪ DOWN ♪
142
00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:42,009
♪ THOSE ♪
143
00:06:42,029 --> 00:06:44,269
♪ LUMBER ♪
144
00:06:44,290 --> 00:06:47,019
♪ TIMBER ♪
145
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,009
♪ I ♪
146
00:06:48,029 --> 00:06:51,159
♪ SHOUT ♪
147
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:52,220
♪ USING ♪
148
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,220
♪ MY ♪
149
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,220
♪ MOUTH ♪
150
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,220
♪ TO ♪
151
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,019
♪ SCREAM ♪
152
00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,159
♪ YOU ♪
153
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,220
♪ LAUGH ♪
154
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,250
♪ AT ♪
155
00:07:01,269 --> 00:07:04,000
♪ ME ♪
156
00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:04,290
♪ BUT ♪
157
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,000
♪ I ♪
158
00:07:06,019 --> 00:07:07,000
♪ DON'T ♪
159
00:07:07,019 --> 00:07:07,290
♪ CARE ♪
160
00:07:08,009 --> 00:07:09,000
♪ IF ♪
161
00:07:09,019 --> 00:07:10,000
♪ YOU ♪
162
00:07:10,019 --> 00:07:12,050
♪ SEE ♪
163
00:07:12,069 --> 00:07:13,199
♪ TIMBER ♪
164
00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:15,100
♪ TIMBER ♪
165
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,209
♪ TIMBER ♪
166
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,009
♪ CRUSHING ♪
167
00:07:20,029 --> 00:07:21,060
♪ PEOPLE ♪
168
00:07:21,079 --> 00:07:22,110
♪ IS ♪
169
00:07:22,129 --> 00:07:23,209
♪ ITS ♪
170
00:07:23,230 --> 00:07:26,060
♪ REWARD ♪
171
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,110
♪ WOULD ♪
172
00:07:27,129 --> 00:07:28,160
♪ YOU ♪
173
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:29,149
♪ LIKE ♪
174
00:07:29,170 --> 00:07:30,160
♪ TO ♪
175
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:31,149
♪ BRING ♪
176
00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:32,159
♪ A ♪
177
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:33,149
♪ SWORD? ♪
178
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,159
♪ I ♪
179
00:07:34,180 --> 00:07:35,149
♪ WANT ♪
180
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:36,159
♪ TO ♪
181
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:37,159
♪ LET ♪
182
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:38,159
♪ YOU ♪
183
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:39,159
♪ SLICE ♪
184
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:43,009
♪ MY ♪
185
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:46,159
♪ LUMBER ♪
186
00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:49,170
♪ TIMBER ♪
187
00:07:49,189 --> 00:07:50,269
♪ IS ♪
188
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,220
♪ LOVE ♪
189
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,220
♪ AND ♪
190
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,220
♪ EVERY ♪
191
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,220
♪ ONE ♪
192
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,220
♪ LOVES ♪
193
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,269
♪ YOU ♪
194
00:07:57,290 --> 00:08:01,100
♪ STEVE ♪
195
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:02,250
♪ MY ♪
196
00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:04,100
♪ ONLY ♪
197
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,100
♪ WISH ♪
198
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,199
♪ COULD ♪
199
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,250
♪ BE ♪
200
00:08:08,269 --> 00:08:10,050
♪ TO ♪
201
00:08:10,069 --> 00:08:11,100
♪ HOLD ♪
202
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,050
♪ YOU ♪
203
00:08:13,069 --> 00:08:18,100
♪ CLOSE ♪
204
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,009
[ BUZZER ]
205
00:08:28,259 --> 00:08:31,000
400 POINTS
TO EACH OF YOUR WIVES
206
00:08:31,019 --> 00:08:33,070
FOR STICKING WITH YOU.
207
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:36,070
WE'RE GOING TO CONTINUE
WITH A GAME CALLED "PROPS."
208
00:08:36,090 --> 00:08:39,009
DIVIDE INTO TWO GROUPS --
RYAN AND CHIP,
209
00:08:39,029 --> 00:08:40,210
COLIN AND WAYNE.
210
00:08:40,230 --> 00:08:43,009
RYAN AND CHIP,
THIS IS YOUR PROP.
211
00:08:43,029 --> 00:08:44,169
DINK. SORRY. DINK.
212
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,139
OH, MAN, THIS IS HEAVY.
213
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,019
THIS IS YOUR PROP
RIGHT HERE.
214
00:08:49,039 --> 00:08:51,159
AND ANOTHER.
YOU NEED TWO OF THEM.
215
00:08:51,179 --> 00:08:54,169
RYAN AND CHIP, COME UP
WITH AS MANY GOOD IDEAS
216
00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:56,259
FOR THESE PROPS
AS YOU CAN.
217
00:08:56,279 --> 00:09:00,049
YEAH, ANOTHER DAY,
AND I THINK I'LL POP IT.
218
00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:02,029
[ BUZZER ]
219
00:09:02,049 --> 00:09:05,059
NOBODY'S GOING FOR THIS
PEPTO-BISMOL ON A STICK.
220
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,080
SELL IT!
221
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:10,080
CLEAR!
222
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:12,159
[ BUZZER ]
223
00:09:12,179 --> 00:09:15,200
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
224
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:17,210
[ BUZZER ]
225
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,100
TODAY WE BURY MADONNA.
226
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,049
[ BUZZER ]
227
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:30,009
[ Imitating Archie Bunker ]
JEEZ, MEATHEAD,
228
00:09:30,029 --> 00:09:33,110
DON'T YOU SEE I'M SITTING
IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR?
229
00:09:33,129 --> 00:09:36,019
[ BUZZER ]
230
00:09:36,039 --> 00:09:38,210
SO, YOU COME HERE OFTEN?
231
00:09:38,230 --> 00:09:40,210
NO, I LIKE WOMEN!
232
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:43,120
[ BUZZER ]
233
00:09:43,139 --> 00:09:47,259
I REALLY THOUGHT
IT WOULD HELP MY CAREER.
234
00:09:47,279 --> 00:09:50,090
[ BUZZER ]
235
00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:54,019
GET A LOAD OF HER!
WHOA!
236
00:09:54,039 --> 00:09:55,240
[ BUZZER ]
237
00:09:55,259 --> 00:09:58,210
JACOB SAYS WE MUST HAVE
THE MILK CHURNED
238
00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,110
BY THE MORNING.
239
00:10:00,129 --> 00:10:02,000
[ BUZZER ]
240
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,019
APPARENTLY HORTON
HEARD A HOO.
241
00:10:04,039 --> 00:10:05,120
REALLY?
242
00:10:05,139 --> 00:10:06,220
YEAH.
243
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,289
[ BUZZER ]
244
00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:09,269
[ CACKLING ]
245
00:10:09,289 --> 00:10:11,269
STUPID BABOON.
246
00:10:11,289 --> 00:10:14,159
[ BUZZER ]
247
00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:16,250
LEIA, WHERE ARE YOU, LEIA?
248
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,019
[ BUZZER ]
249
00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:23,000
THAT'S ENOUGH RIGHT THERE.
250
00:10:23,019 --> 00:10:24,169
AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
251
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:27,000
WITH MORE "WHOSE LINE
IS IT ANYWAY?"
252
00:10:31,259 --> 00:10:34,250
HEY, WELCOME BACK TO
"WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?",
253
00:10:34,269 --> 00:10:37,279
THE SHOW WHERE
EVERYTHING'S MADE UP,
254
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,279
AND THE POINTS
DON'T MATTER,
255
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,029
JUST LIKE THE WORD
"INTERNATIONAL"
256
00:10:42,049 --> 00:10:44,169
IN INTERNATIONAL
HOUSE OF PANCAKES.
257
00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:47,200
NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME
CALLED "STAND, SIT, LIE."
258
00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:50,009
THIS IS FOR RYAN,
COLIN, AND WAYNE.
259
00:10:50,029 --> 00:10:52,029
THEY'RE GOING
TO MAKE UP A SCENE.
260
00:10:52,049 --> 00:10:54,129
ONE MUST BE STANDING,
ONE MUST BE SITTING,
261
00:10:54,149 --> 00:10:56,120
ONE MUST ALWAYS BE
LYING DOWN.
262
00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:59,100
IF ANYONE CHANGES
THE POSITIONS,
263
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,179
THE OTHER ONES HAVE
TO MAKE IT UP FOR THEM.
264
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,070
IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHO'S LAYING DOWN.
265
00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:07,059
GO AHEAD AND PICK ONE.
266
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,070
I AM OLDER.
267
00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:12,169
THE SCENE IS THREE CAMPERS
ARE PREPARING FOR BED
268
00:11:12,190 --> 00:11:16,070
IN THE WOODS
ON THE NIGHT OF A FULL --
269
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:21,190
OH, NO. THE SCENE IS...
270
00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:23,190
WAYNE HAS TALKED
HER BOYFRIEND COLIN
271
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:25,230
INTO COMING
INTO RYAN'S TATTOO PARLOR.
272
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:26,230
Wayne: HER?
273
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:28,000
YES, HER BOYFRIEND.
274
00:11:28,019 --> 00:11:30,210
WAYNE HAS TALKED
HER BOYFRIEND COLIN
275
00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:32,210
INTO COMING
TO RYAN'S TATTOO PARLOR.
276
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:34,210
Wayne: HONEY,
DON'T YOU FEEL GOOD
277
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:37,090
THAT I TALKED YOU INTO
COMING TO THIS TATTOO PARLOR?
278
00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:40,149
I'D RATHER BE CAMPING
UNDER A FULL MOON.
279
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,190
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH A TATTOO.
280
00:11:46,210 --> 00:11:48,220
YOU WANT A BAR CODE
ON HERE?
281
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,000
NO, I DON'T WANT
A BAR CODE!
282
00:11:51,019 --> 00:11:52,179
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
283
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:55,179
I'VE GOT A BAR CODE HERE
AND A UPC SYMBOL.
284
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,029
I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY.
285
00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,129
WHY ARE YOU UPSET?
WE'RE PAYING YOU!
286
00:11:59,149 --> 00:12:01,259
I CAN'T HANDLE
MUCH MORE OF THIS.
287
00:12:01,279 --> 00:12:03,259
DON'T YELL
AT THE TATTOO MAN.
288
00:12:03,279 --> 00:12:05,259
HE'S GIVING US
A DISCOUNT.
289
00:12:05,279 --> 00:12:07,210
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL TAKE ONE.
290
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,210
WHO SAID ANYTHING
ABOUT A DISCOUNT?
291
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:11,059
YOU DID ON THE PHONE.
292
00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,210
I CERTAINLY DID NOT
SAY ANYTHING
293
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:15,070
ABOUT A DISCOUNT.
294
00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:18,070
I NEVER GIVE DISCOUNTS.
THAT WOULD BE RIDICULOUS.
295
00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:21,210
SO, I'M LYING?
OH, NO, NO, NO. OH, NO.
296
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:24,169
MY HUSBAND -- BOYFRIEND,
SOON TO BE HUSBAND --
297
00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:27,169
WANTS A TATTOO,
AND YOU WILL GIVE HIM ONE
298
00:12:27,190 --> 00:12:30,169
AT A DISCOUNTED RATE,
OR I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE
299
00:12:30,190 --> 00:12:32,120
THAT YOUR
TATTOO PARLOR SUCKS.
300
00:12:32,139 --> 00:12:34,139
IT DOESN'T SUCK.
301
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:38,120
OH, MY GOD.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
302
00:12:38,139 --> 00:12:40,070
HONEY! HONEY, GET UP!
303
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:41,269
HEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
304
00:12:41,289 --> 00:12:43,269
YOU TOOK
A NASTY FALL THERE.
305
00:12:43,289 --> 00:12:46,220
IT'S JUST THE THOUGHT
OF GETTING A TATTOO
306
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,049
MAKES ME FAINT.
307
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:51,029
I GOT ONE OF THESE
EASY ZIPPO TATTOO THINGS.
308
00:12:51,049 --> 00:12:52,149
THERE YOU GO.
309
00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:54,029
THAT'S AMAZING.
310
00:12:54,049 --> 00:12:56,019
WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS YOUR NAME.
311
00:12:56,039 --> 00:12:59,029
I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET SO --
312
00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:00,240
[ SOBBING ]
313
00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,240
OH, STOP --
314
00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:06,139
[ BUZZER ]
315
00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:14,019
ANOTHER MILLION POINTS
FOR EVERYBODY.
316
00:13:14,039 --> 00:13:16,059
I GOT A LOT
OF POINTS TODAY.
317
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,039
I BOUGHT THEM
AT THE PRICE CLUB.
318
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:22,120
NOW LET'S GO ON TO A GAME
CALLED "GREATEST HITS."
319
00:13:22,139 --> 00:13:24,200
THIS IS
FOR ALL FOUR OF YOU
320
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:27,019
WITH THE HELP
OF LAURA HALL,
321
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:29,240
LINDA TAYLOR,
AND ANNA WANSELIUS.
322
00:13:29,259 --> 00:13:33,059
ANNA WANSELIUS.
323
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,080
LINDA TAYLOR,
LAURA HALL.
324
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:37,100
COLIN AND RYAN,
YOU'RE TV VOICEOVER GUYS
325
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,070
TALKING ABOUT THE LATEST
COMPILATION ALBUM,
326
00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:42,259
AND THEN THEY'RE GOING
TO MAKE UP NAMES OF SONGS.
327
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:45,090
WAYNE AND CHIP ARE GOING
TO SING THE SONGS.
328
00:13:45,110 --> 00:13:47,169
WHAT WE NEED
FROM THE AUDIENCE
329
00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:50,149
IS SOMETHING YOU'D LOOK
TO FIND IN THE YELLOW PAGES.
330
00:13:50,169 --> 00:13:54,070
DENTISTS. SOUNDS LIKE
A GREAT ONE. DENTISTS.
331
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:56,289
LET'S HEAR THE ALBUM.
332
00:13:57,009 --> 00:14:00,110
THE ALBUM IS
"SONGS OF THE DENTIST."
333
00:14:00,129 --> 00:14:03,110
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
TO OUR NATURE DOCUMENTARY --
334
00:14:03,129 --> 00:14:06,210
"LIPPY, THE LEMMING
WITH AN ALTERNATE LIFESTYLE,"
335
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:08,110
IN JUST A SECOND.
336
00:14:08,129 --> 00:14:11,159
YOU KNOW, COLIN, NOBODY LIKES
TO GO TO THE DENTIST,
337
00:14:11,179 --> 00:14:14,159
BUT IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE
EASIER WHILE LISTENING
338
00:14:14,179 --> 00:14:17,159
TO OUR 3-CD SET
WITH "SONGS OF THE DENTIST."
339
00:14:17,179 --> 00:14:19,159
OH, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
340
00:14:19,179 --> 00:14:21,009
NO, I'M NOT.
341
00:14:21,029 --> 00:14:23,259
THERE ARE SONGS
FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD
342
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,210
ON THIS, INCLUDING
THAT NUMBER-ONE SALSA HIT
343
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:29,019
"JUST SAY NO...VOCAIN."
344
00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:31,120
[ PLAYING SALSA MUSIC ]
345
00:14:31,139 --> 00:14:32,279
Wayne: OOH-HA!
346
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,190
WHOO!
347
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,110
[ Spanish accent ]
♪ BEFORE YOU PUT ♪
348
00:14:42,129 --> 00:14:45,120
♪ THE DRILL IN MY MOUTH,
DON'T BE DUMB ♪
349
00:14:45,139 --> 00:14:48,019
♪ YOU BETTER USE
A LOT OF NOVOCAIN ♪
350
00:14:48,039 --> 00:14:50,279
♪ TO MAKE MY GUMS NUMB ♪
351
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,279
♪ 'CAUSE IF IT HURTS
VERY MUCH, OUT I MUST PASS ♪
352
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,090
♪ OOH ♪
353
00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:59,259
♪ AND I DON'T WANT
ANY OF YOUR LAUGHING GAS ♪
354
00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:01,259
♪ SO SAY, NOVOCAIN ♪
355
00:15:01,279 --> 00:15:04,259
♪ WHEN YOU ARE
FEELING PAIN ♪
356
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:07,159
♪ OH, JUST SAY
NO-NO-NO-NO ♪
357
00:15:07,179 --> 00:15:10,259
♪ NOVOCAIN ♪
358
00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:17,049
BOY, THIS IS A GREAT
SELECTION OF SONGS, COLIN.
359
00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:20,179
WELL, WE WOULDN'T BE
SELLING IT IF IT WAS BAD.
360
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,159
NEIL DIAMOND, NEIL YOUNG,
PAUL McCARTNEY --
361
00:15:27,179 --> 00:15:29,259
THOSE ARE JUST
SOME OF THE NAMES
362
00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:31,110
OF GUYS WHO CAN SING.
363
00:15:31,129 --> 00:15:34,059
BUT ONE OF MY FAVORITES
WHO'S ACTUALLY ON THIS ALBUM
364
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,019
IS THE INCREDIBLE
WILSON PICKETT,
365
00:15:36,039 --> 00:15:38,259
AND OF COURSE
THAT GREAT HIT OF HIS,
366
00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:40,139
"IT HAS TO COME OUT."
367
00:15:40,159 --> 00:15:41,289
[ PLAYING SOUL MUSIC ]
368
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,059
♪ HUH ♪
369
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,159
♪ OW ♪
370
00:15:44,179 --> 00:15:46,259
ALL RIGHT, NOW!
371
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,190
WHOO!
372
00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:51,169
♪ HEY, NOW, I TOOK A TRIP
TO THE DENTIST ♪
373
00:15:51,190 --> 00:15:53,220
♪ I DON'T LIKE HIM
THE BEST ♪
374
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,220
♪ BUT I HAD TO MAKE
A VISIT ♪
375
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,220
♪ 'CAUSE I HAD AN ABSCESS ♪
376
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,210
♪ MY LITTLE FILLINGS
ARE RUSTED ♪
377
00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:05,019
♪ AND THAT'S WHY HE HAD
TO PULL MY BICUSPID ♪
378
00:16:05,039 --> 00:16:08,110
♪ OH, IT HAD TO COME OUT ♪
379
00:16:08,129 --> 00:16:10,100
♪ COME ON, NOW ♪
380
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,139
AAH!
381
00:16:12,159 --> 00:16:14,090
OW!
382
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:16,159
♪ I SAID,
IT HAD TO COME OUT ♪
383
00:16:16,179 --> 00:16:18,110
♪ HERE WE GO NOW ♪
384
00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:20,110
♪ I TRIED TO USE
A DOORKNOB ♪
385
00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:22,059
♪ AN ANVIL FOR GRAVITY ♪
386
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,149
♪ LORD, TRY TO HELP ME
PULL THAT TOOTH ♪
387
00:16:24,169 --> 00:16:26,009
♪ 'CAUSE OF THE CAVITY ♪
388
00:16:26,029 --> 00:16:29,210
♪ OH, MY DENTIST REALLY WORKED,
HE REALLY WAS A TRYER ♪
389
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:33,139
♪ FIRST HE TRIED TO DRILL,
AND THEN HE TRIED THE PLIERS ♪
390
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,159
♪ OH, HE MADE ME
SCREAM AND SHOUT ♪
391
00:16:35,179 --> 00:16:38,110
♪ LORD, IT'S GOT
TO COME OUT ♪
392
00:16:38,129 --> 00:16:41,009
♪ LORD, IT'S GOT
TO COME OUT ♪
393
00:16:41,029 --> 00:16:43,190
♪ BABY, BABY,
THERE AIN'T NO DOUBT ♪
394
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,279
OOH, OW.
395
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,169
BOY.
396
00:16:52,190 --> 00:16:55,169
THAT SONG NEVER FAILS
TO BRING A TEAR
397
00:16:55,190 --> 00:16:57,190
TO MY STOMACH LINING.
398
00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:02,049
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
HEAVY METAL.
399
00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:03,269
OH.
400
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:06,279
ONE OF MY -- WELL,
IT'S NOT MY FAVORITE,
401
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,200
BUT I LIKE IT.
402
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:11,099
IT'S THAT
HEAVY METAL CLASSIC
403
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:14,089
"I AIN'T WEARIN'
NO BRACES."
404
00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:16,190
[ HEAVY METAL PLAYING ]
405
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,160
♪ NOW LOOK AT ME ♪
406
00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:25,160
♪ I LIKE TO EAT MEAT ♪
407
00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:27,160
♪ I EAT MEAT ♪
408
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:33,059
♪ I THINK RED MEAT --
IT'S A REALLY GOOD TREAT ♪
409
00:17:33,079 --> 00:17:36,059
♪ I'M IN A LOT
OF PAIN, YEAH ♪
410
00:17:36,079 --> 00:17:39,049
♪ I SHOULD WEAR
MY RETAINER ♪
411
00:17:40,289 --> 00:17:43,109
♪ I SHOULD WEAR BRACES --
YEAH, YEAH ♪
412
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:45,009
♪ I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ♪
413
00:17:45,029 --> 00:17:47,009
♪ WHY DON'T YOU
JUST LOOK AT ♪
414
00:17:47,029 --> 00:17:48,220
♪ I REALLY DON'T CARE ♪
415
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,119
♪ IF MY TWO FRONT TEETH
ARE CROOKED, YEAH ♪
416
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:53,119
♪ I DON'T WANT
TO JUST LOOK AT HIM ♪
417
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,140
♪ HIS MOLARS ARE FULL
OF ALUMIN-IMIUM ♪
418
00:17:58,089 --> 00:18:00,119
YEAH!
419
00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:03,000
YEAH!
420
00:18:03,019 --> 00:18:04,130
YEAH!
421
00:18:16,099 --> 00:18:18,099
[ BUZZER ]
422
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:29,009
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
423
00:18:29,029 --> 00:18:30,079
TO FIND OUT
WHO THE WINNER IS.
424
00:18:35,210 --> 00:18:38,140
WELCOME BACK
TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"
425
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,079
TONIGHT'S WINNER --
WAYNE BRADY.
426
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:42,279
SO, HE'S GOING TO SIT
AT THE DESK.
427
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,009
THE REST OF US
ARE GOING TO DO A HOEDOWN.
428
00:18:46,029 --> 00:18:48,220
YEAH!
429
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,130
YEAH, WE'RE GOING
TO DO A HOEDOWN.
430
00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:54,130
WHAT WE NEED FROM THE AUDIENCE
IS A SUGGESTION
431
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:57,140
OF A TYPE OR GROUP
OF PEOPLE YOU HATE.
432
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,019
[ SHOUTING ]
433
00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:01,289
NO, CAR SALESMAN.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
434
00:19:02,009 --> 00:19:05,069
THE CAR SALESMAN HOEDOWN --
THAT'S A GOOD ONE --
435
00:19:05,089 --> 00:19:08,049
WITH THE HELP
OF LAURA HALL ON THE PIANO.
436
00:19:08,069 --> 00:19:10,200
LET'S DO
THE CAR SALESMAN HOEDOWN.
437
00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:14,289
Chip: YEE-HAW!
438
00:19:15,009 --> 00:19:18,190
TULSA, OKLAHOMA,
SALUTE!
439
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:23,119
♪ I WENT DOWN
TO MY DEALERSHIP ♪
440
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:25,119
♪ I TRIED TO BUY A CAR ♪
441
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:28,279
♪ HE TRIED TO SELL A LEMON,
BUT HE DIDN'T GET TOO FAR ♪
442
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,130
♪ I FOUND A LOT OF STEALS
AND I FOUND A LOT OF DEALS ♪
443
00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,130
♪ AND THEN I BOUGHT
A PINTO ♪
444
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:37,099
♪ BUT IT DIDN'T HAVE
NO WHEELS ♪
445
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:43,079
♪ WELL, I WANTED A CHEVY,
BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO GET BORED ♪
446
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,279
♪ AND THEN I THOUGHT,
MAYBE A MERCURY ♪
447
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,279
♪ MAYBE I'LL GET ME A FORD ♪
448
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,230
♪ BUT WHEN IT CAME DOWN TO IT,
I DIDN'T MAKE A FUSS ♪
449
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:53,000
♪ 'CAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE
ANY MONEY, ANYWAY ♪
450
00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:55,019
♪ SO I'LL JUST TAKE THE BUS ♪
451
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:05,140
♪ I MET A CAR SALESMAN,
HE DIDN'T HAVE NO ETHICS ♪
452
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,240
♪ AND I BELIEVED
HIS EVERY LIE ♪
453
00:20:07,259 --> 00:20:09,240
♪ IT REALLY WAS PATHETIC ♪
454
00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:13,089
♪ HE DID HORRIBLE THINGS
THAT NO GOOD MAN EVER SHOULD ♪
455
00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:14,289
♪ I CAME HOME EARLY ♪
456
00:20:15,009 --> 00:20:18,039
♪ FOUND HIM CHECKING
UNDER MY WIFE'S HOOD ♪
457
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:24,089
♪ OH, BOY, THOSE GERMAN CARS,
DO THEY COST BIG BUCKS ♪
458
00:20:24,109 --> 00:20:27,289
♪ I LOOKED AT THE PRICE TAG,
AND I AM FULL OF YUKS ♪
459
00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:31,089
♪ OH, THOSE PORSCHES,
MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE OTHERS ♪
460
00:20:31,109 --> 00:20:33,039
♪ UNLESS YOU'RE DREW CAREY ♪
461
00:20:33,059 --> 00:20:35,210
♪ AND GET IT FREE
FROM WARNER BROTHERS ♪
462
00:20:35,230 --> 00:20:40,099
♪ BROTHERS ♪
463
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,259
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
AFTER THIS.
464
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,220
HEY, WELCOME BACK
TO "WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?"
465
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,289
WE'RE GOING TO END
THE SHOW TONIGHT
466
00:20:52,009 --> 00:20:53,240
WITH COLIN
READING THE CREDITS.
467
00:20:53,259 --> 00:20:55,019
READ THE CREDITS
468
00:20:55,039 --> 00:20:57,029
LIKE AN ANGRY
SCHOOL BUS DRIVER.
469
00:20:57,049 --> 00:20:59,029
THANKS FOR WATCHING,
EVERYBODY.
470
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,069
DAN PATTERSON,
SIT DOWN!
471
00:21:01,089 --> 00:21:04,000
I TOLD YOU ALREADY
TO SIT DOWN!
472
00:21:04,019 --> 00:21:07,099
DENISE O'DONOGHUE,
DON'T YOU SPIT GUM!
473
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,009
I CAN'T SEE,
YOU IDIOT KIDS!
474
00:21:10,029 --> 00:21:12,009
SIT BACK! BACK! BACK!
475
00:21:12,029 --> 00:21:14,009
I MEAN YOU, BRUCE RYAN!
476
00:21:14,029 --> 00:21:16,009
I MEAN YOU,
KEITH RICHMOND!
477
00:21:16,029 --> 00:21:18,009
ALL RIGHT, OUT OF THE BUS!
478
00:21:18,029 --> 00:21:21,009
ALL RIGHT, THERE'S MORE
WHERE THAT CAME FROM!
479
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:24,009
I'M THROWING YOU
OUT OF THE BUS!
480
00:21:24,029 --> 00:21:26,099
OUT! OUT!
481
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,099
-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com
482
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:31,019
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY ABC, INC.
AND WARNER BROS. INC.
30199
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