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1
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:11,209
Listen to yourself, Bob.
2
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:12,978
You follow her to work.
3
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:14,980
You eavesdrop on her calls.
4
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,481
You open her mail.
5
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,151
The minute you started
doing these things
6
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:20,885
the relationship was over.
7
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:22,520
Thank you for your call.
8
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,823
Roz, I think we have
time for one more.
9
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,157
Yes, Dr. Crane.
10
00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,860
On line four, we have
Russell from Kirkland.
11
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,161
Hello, Russell.
12
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,163
This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
13
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:33,866
I'm listening.
14
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:38,737
Well, I've been feeling sort
of, you know, depressed lately.
15
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,739
My life's not going anywhere.
16
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,540
It's not that bad.
17
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,343
It's just the same old apartment
18
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:47,478
the same old job...
19
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:50,115
Russell, we're just about
at the end of our hour.
20
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,050
Let me see if I can
cut to the chase
21
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,651
by using myself as an example.
22
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,189
Six months ago, I
was living in Boston.
23
00:00:57,257 --> 00:01:01,259
My wife had left me,
which was very painful.
24
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:05,030
Then she came back to
me, which was excruciating.
25
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:10,335
On top of that
26
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,171
my practice had grown stagnant
27
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,907
and my social
life consisted of...
28
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:19,044
well, hanging around
a bar night after night.
29
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,033
You see, I was
clinging to a life
30
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,681
that wasn't working anymore
31
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,384
and I knew I had to do
something... anything...
32
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:28,921
So I ended the marriage once
and for all, packed up my things
33
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,723
and moved back here to
my hometown of Seattle.
34
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,258
Go, Seahawks!
35
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:36,361
I took action, Russell,
and you can, too.
36
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,496
Move, change, do something.
37
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:41,400
If it's a mistake,
do something else.
38
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:44,269
Will you do that, Russell?
39
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:46,338
Will you?
40
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,772
Russell?
41
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,474
I think we lost him.
42
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:52,511
No, we cut to the
news 30 seconds ago.
43
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,181
For crying out loud!
44
00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,883
I finally bare my
soul to all of Seattle
45
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,252
and they're listening
46
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,887
to Chopper Dave's
Rush Hour Roundup.
47
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:07,859
Well, the rest of the
show was pretty good.
48
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,561
It was a good show, wasn't it?
49
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,797
Here. Your brother called.
50
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:15,467
Roz, in the trade we
call that avoidance.
51
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:17,035
Tell me what you think.
52
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:20,038
Did I ever tell you what
this little button does?
53
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:21,751
I am not a piece of Lalique.
54
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,374
I can handle criticism.
55
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:24,688
How was I today?
56
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:25,777
Let's see.
57
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,579
You dropped two commercials
58
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,448
you left a total of 28
seconds of dead air
59
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,250
you scrambled the
station's call letters
60
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,685
you spilled yogurt
61
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:37,723
on the control board, and
you kept referring to Jerry
62
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,458
with the identity
crisis as Jeff.
63
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,041
You say my brother called?
64
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,298
Mm-hmm.
65
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:52,704
So I said to the
gardener, "Yoshi
66
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:55,140
"I do not want a Zen
garden in my backyard.
67
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,576
"If I want to rake
gravel every ten minutes
68
00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,177
"to maintain my inner harmony
69
00:02:59,246 --> 00:03:00,512
I'll move to Yokohama."
70
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,213
This offends him, so he starts
71
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,016
pulling up Maris' prized
camellias by the handful
72
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,985
Well, I couldn't stand for that
73
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:09,487
so I marched right
into the morning room
74
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,888
and locked the door
75
00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:13,057
until he cooled down.
76
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,471
Tell me you would have
handled it differently. Frasier.
77
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:16,995
Oh, I'm sorry, Niles.
78
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:19,898
I didn't realize you'd
stopped talking.
79
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,033
You haven't heard a word I said.
80
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,780
Oh, Niles, you're
a psychiatrist.
81
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:24,981
You know what it's like
82
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,183
to listen to people
prattling on endlessly
83
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,718
about their mundane lives.
84
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:31,743
Touche. And, on that subject,
I heard your show today.
85
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,216
And?
86
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:40,252
You know what I think
about pop psychiatry.
87
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,431
Yes, I know what you
think about everything.
88
00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:45,257
When was the last time you
had an unexpressed thought?
89
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,858
I'm having one now.
90
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,594
You guys ready?
91
00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:51,729
Two cafe latte supremos.
92
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,839
No, thank you.
93
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:07,212
So, Frasier, how are
you doing on your own?
94
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,813
I'm fine.
95
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,314
I love my new life.
96
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:11,850
I love the solitude.
97
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,719
I miss Frederick like
the dickens, of course.
98
00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,254
He's quite a boy.
99
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:19,257
He's playing goalie on the
peewee soccer team now.
100
00:04:19,326 --> 00:04:21,058
Chip off the old block.
101
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,627
You hated sports.
102
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,529
So does he.
103
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,867
The fresh air is good for him.
104
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,202
This has been
fun, Frasier, but...
105
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,904
we have a problem
106
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,373
and that's why I
thought we should talk.
107
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,508
Is it Dad?
108
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,887
Afraid so. One
of his old buddies
109
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,922
from the police force
called this morning.
110
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,847
He went over to see him and
found him on the bathroom floor.
111
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:43,715
Oh, my God.
112
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,183
It's okay. He's fine.
113
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:46,585
What... his hip again?
114
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:50,454
Frasier, I don't think he
can live alone anymore.
115
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:53,057
What can we do?
116
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,793
Well, I know this isn't going
117
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,828
to be anyone's favorite solution
118
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,196
but I took the liberty
119
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:01,232
of checking out a few
convalescent homes for him.
120
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,568
Niles, a home? He's
still a young man.
121
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,581
Well, you certainly
can't take care of him.
122
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:08,173
You're just getting
your new life together.
123
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:10,876
Absolutely. Well, besides,
we were never simpatico.
124
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:13,378
Of course, I can't
take care of him.
125
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,981
Yes, yes, of course,
of course. Why?
126
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,984
Because dad doesn't
get along with Maris.
127
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,318
Who does?
128
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:23,255
I thought you liked my Maris.
129
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,655
I do.
130
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,891
I like her from a distance.
131
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,205
You know, the way
you like the sun.
132
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,840
Maris is like the sun...
133
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,145
except without the warmth.
134
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:40,939
Well, then, we're agreed
about what to do with Dad.
135
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:45,242
"Golden Acres... We
care so you don't have to."
136
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,750
It says that?
137
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:52,617
Well
138
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,619
it might as well.
139
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,788
All right, I'll make up
the spare bedroom.
140
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,791
You're a good son, Frasier.
141
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,960
Oh, God, I am, aren't I?
142
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,628
Two cafe supremos.
143
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:04,996
Anything to eat?
144
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:08,066
No. I seem to have
lost my appetite.
145
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,435
I'll have a large
piece of cheesecake.
146
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,145
( playing classical music)
147
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,714
( doorbell chimes)
148
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,070
Hi!
149
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,706
We finally made it.
150
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,014
Ah, Dad, Dad...
151
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,009
welcome to your new home.
152
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:53,790
You look great.
153
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:54,980
Don't BS Me.
154
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,781
I do not look great.
155
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,484
I spent Monday on
the bathroom floor.
156
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:02,721
You can still see the
tile marks on my face.
157
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:04,288
Gives you some idea
158
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,569
about the ride over in the car.
159
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,993
Well, here we are.
160
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:10,529
Rest assured, the
refrigerator is stocked
161
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,597
with your favorite
beer... Ballantine...
162
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,433
And we've got plenty
of hot links and coleslaw.
163
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:18,614
And I just rented a Charles
Bronson movie for later.
164
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:21,238
Let's cut the
welcome-to-Camp-Crane speech.
165
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,841
We all know why I'm here.
166
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,110
Your old man can't be
left alone for ten minutes
167
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,879
without falling on his ass,
and Frasier got stuck with me.
168
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,314
Isn't that right?
169
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:31,316
No. No.
170
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:32,683
I want you here.
171
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,553
It will give us a chance
to get reacquainted.
172
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,723
That implies we were
acquainted at one point.
173
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,392
( dry chuckling)
174
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,462
Well...
175
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,764
listen, why don't I
take Dad's things
176
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,800
into his new bachelor quarters
177
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,569
so you two scoundrels
can plan some high jinks?
178
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,873
I think that wife of his
is driving him nutso.
179
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:59,043
Yes, we Crane boys...
180
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,479
sure know how to marry them.
181
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,618
Let me get you a beer, Dad.
182
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:10,655
So, what do you think of what
I've done with the place, huh?
183
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,124
Every item here was
carefully selected...
184
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,860
This lamp by Corbu,
the chair by Eames
185
00:08:15,928 --> 00:08:18,296
and this couch
is an exact replica
186
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:21,299
of the one Coco Chanel
had in her Paris atelier.
187
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:22,467
Nothing matches.
188
00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:24,513
It's a style of decorating.
189
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:25,748
It's called "eclectic."
190
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,672
Well, the theory behind it is
191
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:31,309
if you've got really
fine pieces of furniture
192
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:34,612
it doesn't matter if they
match... they will go together.
193
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,148
It's your money.
194
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:38,683
( doorbell chimes)
195
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,963
Dad, what do you
think of that view?
196
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:42,854
That's the Space Needle there.
197
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,689
Thanks for pointing that out.
198
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:48,092
Being born and raised here,
I never would have known.
199
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:52,063
Delivery for Martin Crane.
200
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,765
Oh, in here.
201
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:54,833
Coming through.
202
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,434
Excuse me. Excuse
me. Wait a minute.
203
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:57,435
Where do you want it?
204
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:58,636
Where's the TV?
205
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,316
It's in that credenza.
206
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,806
Point it at that thing.
207
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,275
What about this chair?
208
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,321
The chair? Here. Let
me get it out of your way.
209
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,778
Niles, Niles! Be
careful with that.
210
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,046
That's a Wassily!
211
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:11,216
Dad, as dear as I'm
sure this piece is to you
212
00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:14,385
I just don't think it
goes with anything here.
213
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:15,686
I know.
214
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,422
It's eclectic.
215
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:22,493
Niles... Niles, will
you help me out here?
216
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,130
You'll have to run an
extension cord over here
217
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,431
so I can plug in
218
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:27,799
the vibrating part.
219
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,735
Yes, yes. That will
be the crowning touch.
220
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:37,508
Well, now that you two
are settled in, I've got to run.
221
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,778
I'm late for my
dysfunctional family seminar.
222
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,247
Dad, have you
mentioned Eddie yet?
223
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,326
Eddie?
224
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:45,350
Ta-ta.
225
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:47,885
Oh, no, Dad, no, not Eddie.
226
00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:50,121
But he's my best friend.
227
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:51,322
Get me my beer, will you?
228
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,535
But he's weird.
229
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:53,858
Gives me the creeps.
230
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,526
All he does is stare at me.
231
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,829
Aw, it's just your imagination.
232
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,665
No, Dad, no. I'm sorry, but
I am putting my foot down.
233
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,700
Eddie is not moving in here.
234
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,555
S, there you are.
235
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,864
I'm sorry I'm late.
236
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:28,859
Just as I was leaving,
Dad decided to cook lunch
237
00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:31,295
by the glow of the
small kitchen fire.
238
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:32,474
Oh, Niles
239
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:33,731
this last week with Dad...
240
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,299
It's been a living hell.
241
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:38,035
When I'm there, I feel like
my territory's being violated.
242
00:10:38,104 --> 00:10:40,404
When I'm not, I'm worried
about what he's up to.
243
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,018
Look at me. I'm a nervous wreck.
244
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:44,286
I've got to do
something to calm down.
245
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,643
Double espresso, please.
246
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,946
Niles, you don't still have
the brochures from those...
247
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,547
those rest homes, do you?
248
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,249
Of course, I do.
249
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:56,386
Don't forget, Maris is
five years older than I am.
250
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:59,334
But do you really
think that's necessary?
251
00:10:59,358 --> 00:11:00,858
I'm afraid I do.
252
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,693
I don't have my life anymore.
253
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,227
Tuesday night, I gave up
254
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,897
my tickets to the theater...
Wednesday, it was the symphony.
255
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,143
That reminds me.
256
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,678
Weren't you going to
the opera on Friday?
257
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:11,068
Yes. Here.
258
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:12,736
Thank you.
259
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:16,907
Niles, you don't
suppose there's a chance
260
00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:19,777
that you and Maris could...
261
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,279
Funny you should mention that.
262
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,158
Maris and I were
just discussing this.
263
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,783
We feel we should do more
to share the responsibility.
264
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,150
You mean you'd take him in?
265
00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:29,519
Dear God, no.
266
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:31,055
But we would be willing
267
00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:34,325
to help you pay for
a home care worker.
268
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,559
A what?
269
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,572
You know. Someone
who cooks and cleans
270
00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:38,529
and can help Dad
271
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:39,964
with his physical therapy.
272
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,365
These angels exist?
273
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,244
I know of an agency.
Let me arrange for them
274
00:11:43,268 --> 00:11:45,080
to send a few people
over to meet with you.
275
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:49,406
Niles, I can't thank you enough.
276
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:52,154
I feel this overwhelming
urge to hug you.
277
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,145
Remember what Mom always said...
278
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,347
"A handshake is
as good as a hug."
279
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,516
Wise woman.
280
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,287
I have never been more impressed
281
00:12:03,355 --> 00:12:07,124
with a human being in my life.
282
00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,793
Now, what was
wrong with that one?!
283
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,929
She was casing the joint.
284
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,531
Casing the joint.
285
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:16,033
She spent two years
with Mother Teresa.
286
00:12:16,101 --> 00:12:20,237
Well, if I were Mother Teresa,
I'd check my jewelry box.
287
00:12:20,305 --> 00:12:22,606
( doorbell chimes)
288
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,141
This is the last one.
289
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:27,111
Can you please try
to keep an open mind?
290
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,147
Oh, hello.
291
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:33,317
Caught me with me
hand in the biscuit tin.
292
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:34,818
I'm Daphne. Daphne Moon.
293
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:36,320
Frasier Crane.
294
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,832
Please come in. Thank you.
295
00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:39,823
This is my father, Martin Crane.
296
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,059
Dad, this is Daphne Moon.
297
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,560
Nice to meet you.
298
00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:45,874
Oh, and who might this be?
299
00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:47,698
That is Eddie.
300
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:53,937
I call him Eddie Spaghetti.
301
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:55,506
Oh, he likes pasta?
302
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,741
No, he has worms.
303
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:04,748
Have a seat, Miss Moon.
304
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,684
Daphne. Thank you.
305
00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:09,687
Oh, will you look at that?
306
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:11,889
What a comfy chair.
307
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,991
It's like I always say
308
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,828
start with a good piece
and replace the rest
309
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,377
when you can afford it.
310
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:26,949
Yes, well, perhaps
you should start
311
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,873
by telling us a little bit
about yourself, Miss Moon?
312
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:33,043
Well, I'm originally from
Manchester, England.
313
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:34,456
Oh, really? Did
you hear that, Dad?
314
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,513
I'm three feet away.
315
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:39,850
There's nothing
wrong with my hearing.
316
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:43,954
I've only been in the
U.S. for a few months
317
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:46,790
but I have quite an
extensive background
318
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,327
in home care and
physical therapy
319
00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,562
as you can see from my resume.
320
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:52,830
I...
321
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:55,032
You were a
policeman, weren't you?
322
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:56,178
Yeah. How did you know?
323
00:13:56,202 --> 00:14:01,205
I must confess,
I'm a bit psychic.
324
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,008
It's nothing big.
325
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:06,277
Just little things I
sense about people.
326
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,545
I mean, it's not like I
can pick the lottery.
327
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,581
If I could, I
wouldn't be talking
328
00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:12,649
to the likes of you two
329
00:14:12,718 --> 00:14:14,117
now, would I?
330
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,686
Yes.
331
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,565
Perhaps I should describe
the duties around here.
332
00:14:17,589 --> 00:14:18,767
You would be responsible for...
333
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:19,791
Oh, wait a minute.
334
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,025
I'm getting something on you.
335
00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:23,827
You're a florist.
336
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,765
No. I'm a psychiatrist.
337
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,567
Well, it comes and goes.
338
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:36,073
Usually it's strongest
during my time of the month.
339
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:39,009
Oh, I guess I let a
little secret out there
340
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,010
didn't I?
341
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,379
It's safe with us.
342
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,656
Well, Miss Moon, I think
we've learned just about
343
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,086
all we need to know about
you... and a dash extra.
344
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:53,363
You're a dog, aren't you?
345
00:14:58,163 --> 00:15:00,697
Well, we'll be calling
you, Miss Moon.
346
00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,477
Why wait? You got the job.
347
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:03,634
Oh, wonderful.
348
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,235
Excuse me. Excuse me.
349
00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:07,104
Aren't you forgetting
a little something here?
350
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,273
Don't you think we should
talk about this in private?
351
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:10,641
Of course you should.
352
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,242
I completely understand.
353
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:14,044
I'll just pop into the loo.
354
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:15,846
You do have one, don't you?
355
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:17,148
Yes.
356
00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,150
Oh, I love America.
357
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,199
Dad, what do you
think you're doing?
358
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:25,733
You wanted me to
pick one. I picked one.
359
00:15:25,757 --> 00:15:27,468
But she's a kook.
I don't like her.
360
00:15:27,492 --> 00:15:29,271
Well, what difference
does it make to you?
361
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:31,206
She's only going to be
here when you're not.
362
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,964
Then what's my problem?
363
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,633
Daphne...
364
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:38,535
you've been retained.
365
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,903
Oh, wonderful.
366
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,572
I had a premonition.
367
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,874
Quelle surprise.
368
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,077
I'll move me things in tomorrow.
369
00:15:47,145 --> 00:15:48,456
Oh, move in? Oh, I'm sorry.
370
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,258
There must be some
misunderstanding.
371
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,793
This isn't a live-in position.
372
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,684
Oh, dear. Well, the
lady at the agency...
373
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,296
The lady at the
agency was wrong.
374
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,031
This is just a
part-time position.
375
00:15:57,055 --> 00:15:58,767
I'm afraid it just
won't work out.
376
00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,923
Hold on, there, Frasier.
377
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:01,069
Let's talk about this.
378
00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:03,171
Dad, there's nothing to discuss.
379
00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:05,095
You two should talk about this
380
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,997
so I'll just pop back in here
381
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:10,167
and enjoy some more
of your African erotic art.
382
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:13,047
Daphne, I think it would
be best if you leave.
383
00:16:13,071 --> 00:16:14,571
Oh, well, all right then.
384
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,806
Don't be alarmed.
385
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:17,174
We'll contact you.
386
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:20,044
If not by telephone,
then through the toaster.
387
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:28,085
Dad, I'm not having
another person
388
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,486
living in this house.
389
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:30,799
Give me one good reason why not.
390
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,434
Well, for one thing,
there's no room for her.
391
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,102
What about that room right
across the hall from mine?
392
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,926
My study? You expect
me to give up my study?
393
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,027
The place where I read?
394
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:38,536
Where I do my most
profound thinking?
395
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:41,131
Use the can like
the rest of the world.
396
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,268
You'll adjust.
397
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,537
I don't want to adjust.
398
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,038
I've done enough adjusting.
399
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,173
I'm in a new city.
I've got a new job.
400
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:51,853
I'm separated
from my little boy...
401
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:54,077
Which, in itself, is
enough to drive me nuts...
402
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:56,580
And now my father and
his dog are living with me.
403
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,515
Well, that's enough
on my plate, thank you.
404
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,450
The whole idea of
getting somebody in here
405
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,519
was to help ease my
burden, not to add to it.
406
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,500
You hear that,
Eddie? We're a burden.
407
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,324
Oh, Dad. Dad, you're
twisting my words.
408
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,461
I meant burden in its
most positive sense.
409
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:13,630
As in, "Gee, what
a lovely burden?"
410
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,132
Something like that, yes.
411
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,068
Well, you're not the only one
who got screwed here, you know.
412
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:20,036
Two years ago, I'm
sailing toward retirement
413
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:21,905
and some punk robbing
a convenience store
414
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:22,974
puts a bullet in my hip.
415
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,207
Next thing you know
416
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:26,020
I'm trading in my golf
clubs for one of these.
417
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:27,522
Well, I had plans,
too, you know.
418
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,624
And this may come as a
shock to you, sonny boy
419
00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:31,427
but one of them
wasn't living with you.
420
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,061
I'm just trying to do
the right thing here.
421
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:34,229
I'm trying to be the good son.
422
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,518
Don't worry, son.
423
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,198
After I'm gone, you
can live guilt-free
424
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,900
knowing you've done
right by your papa.
425
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,535
You think that is what
this is all about? Guilt?
426
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:41,158
Isn't it?
427
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:42,559
Of course it is!
428
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,073
But the point is, I
did it. I took you in.
429
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:46,563
And I got news for you...
430
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:49,299
I wanted to do it,
because you're my father.
431
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,800
And how do you repay me?
432
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:52,581
Ever since you moved in here
433
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,482
it's been a snide
comment about this
434
00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:56,551
or a smart little
put-down about that.
435
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:59,309
Well, I've done my best to
make a home here for you.
436
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:01,879
And once... just once...
Would it have killed you
437
00:18:01,947 --> 00:18:03,213
to say thank you?
438
00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:05,616
One lousy thank you.
439
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,168
Come on, Eddie.
440
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:19,229
It's past your dinnertime.
441
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:20,965
I'm going out.
442
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:38,048
They have got to move the
bathroom closer to the studio!
443
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,718
We'll be right back
after these messages.
444
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,688
Can't I put that on tape?!
445
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,524
What's eating you?
446
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,292
Oh, I'm sorry.
447
00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:51,606
It's just this thing
with my father
448
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,742
and this person
he wants to hire.
449
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:57,000
I thought I'd started my
life with a clean slate...
450
00:18:57,069 --> 00:19:00,503
I had a picture of what
it was going to be like...
451
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:02,272
And then... I don't know.
452
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,441
Ever heard of Lupe Velez?
453
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:05,676
Who?
454
00:19:05,744 --> 00:19:07,177
Lupe Velez.
455
00:19:07,245 --> 00:19:08,645
The movie star in the '30s?
456
00:19:08,713 --> 00:19:10,547
Well...
457
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,349
her career hit the skids
458
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:15,519
so she decided she'd make
one final stab at immortality.
459
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:18,288
She figured If she couldn't
be remembered for her movies
460
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,335
she'd be remembered
for the way she died
461
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,093
and all Lupe wanted
was to be remembered.
462
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,829
So, she plans this
lavish suicide...
463
00:19:25,897 --> 00:19:28,232
Flowers, candles, silk sheets
464
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:31,034
white satin gown, full hair
and makeup... the works.
465
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:34,605
She takes the overdose
of pills, lays on the bed
466
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:37,440
and imagines how
beautiful she's going to look
467
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:40,243
on the front page of
tomorrow's newspaper.
468
00:19:40,312 --> 00:19:41,711
Unfortunately
469
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:45,181
the pills don't set well with
the enchilada combo plate
470
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,317
she sadly chose
as her last meal.
471
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:48,819
She stumbles
472
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:52,255
to the bathroom, trips, and
goes headfirst into the toilet
473
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,291
and that's how they found her.
474
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:59,263
Is there a reason
you're telling me this?
475
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:00,931
Yes.
476
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,067
Even though things may
not happen like we planned
477
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,869
they can work out anyway.
478
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,570
Remind me again
479
00:20:07,639 --> 00:20:09,839
how it worked for Lupe
480
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:13,677
last seen with her
head in the toilet.
481
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,280
All she wanted was
to be remembered.
482
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:18,749
Will you ever forget that story?
483
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:24,755
We're back.
484
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,556
Roz, who's our next caller?
485
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:29,092
We have Martin on line one.
486
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:32,429
He's having a
problem with his son.
487
00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:34,130
Hello, Martin.
488
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,899
This is Dr. Frasier Crane.
489
00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:37,367
I'm listening.
490
00:20:37,436 --> 00:20:40,104
MARTIN: I'm a first-time caller.
491
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,943
Welcome to the show.
492
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:49,346
How can I help you?
493
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:52,349
I just moved in with
my son, and, uh...
494
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,351
it ain't working.
495
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,854
There's a lot of
tension between us.
496
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,489
I can imagine.
497
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:00,557
And why do you think that's so?
498
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:02,092
I guess I didn't see
499
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,328
he had a whole new
life planned for himself
500
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:07,364
and I kind of got in the way.
501
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,933
Well, these things
are a two-way street.
502
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:12,970
Perhaps your son
wasn't sensitive enough
503
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,572
to see how your
life was changing.
504
00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:16,940
You got that right!
505
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:20,143
I've been telling him
that ever since I got there!
506
00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:22,646
I'm sure he
appreciated your candor.
507
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,047
Well, maybe sometimes
508
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,650
I ought to just learn
how to keep my trap shut.
509
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:30,420
That's good advice for us all.
510
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,756
Anything else?
511
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:35,258
Yeah. I'm worried
my son doesn't know
512
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:38,461
that I really appreciate
what he's done for me.
513
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:40,463
Why don't you tell him?
514
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:43,366
You know how it is
with fathers and sons.
515
00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:45,702
You have trouble
saying that stuff.
516
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:47,404
Well, if it helps
517
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:51,708
I suspect your son
already knows how you feel.
518
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,246
Is that all?
519
00:21:56,314 --> 00:21:58,248
Yeah, I guess that's it.
520
00:21:58,316 --> 00:21:59,750
Thank you, Dr. Crane.
521
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:01,251
My pleasure, Martin.
522
00:22:01,319 --> 00:22:02,819
You hear what I said?!
523
00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:04,487
I said thank you!
524
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:06,189
Yes, I heard.
525
00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:11,761
Uh... Dr. Crane?
526
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,942
We have Claire on line four.
527
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:16,900
She's having a problem
getting over a relationship.
528
00:22:16,968 --> 00:22:19,702
Hello, Claire.
529
00:22:19,771 --> 00:22:21,638
I'm listening.
530
00:22:21,706 --> 00:22:25,042
I'm a... well, I'm a mess.
531
00:22:25,110 --> 00:22:29,746
Eight months ago, my
boyfriend and I broke up
532
00:22:29,814 --> 00:22:31,949
and I just can't get over it.
533
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:35,352
The pain isn't going away.
534
00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:37,754
It's like I'm in
mourning or something.
535
00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:40,957
Claire, you are in mourning
536
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:44,561
but you're not mourning
the loss of your boyfriend.
537
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,196
You're mourning the loss
538
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:50,100
of what you thought
your life was going to be.
539
00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:52,569
Let it go.
540
00:22:52,638 --> 00:22:56,139
Things don't always
work out how you planned.
541
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,742
That's not necessarily bad.
542
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:02,679
Things have a way
of working out anyway.
543
00:23:02,748 --> 00:23:06,850
Have you ever
heard of Lupe Velez?
544
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,626
♪ Hey, baby, I hear
the blues a-callin' ♪
545
00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:19,462
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs ♪
546
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:20,664
♪ Oh, my ♪
547
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,799
♪ And maybe I
seem a bit confused ♪
548
00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:25,636
♪ Well, maybe, but
I got you pegged ♪
549
00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:27,637
( laughs)
550
00:23:27,706 --> 00:23:29,306
♪ But I don't know what to do ♪
551
00:23:29,374 --> 00:23:33,477
♪ With those tossed
salads and scrambled eggs ♪
552
00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:36,146
♪ They're calling again. ♪
553
00:23:36,214 --> 00:23:38,148
Good night,
Seattle! We love you!
554
00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:43,620
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
39293
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