All language subtitles for [English] Gambling Ghost Kung Fu Full Movie Sammo Hung’s Wildest Comedy [DownSub.com]

Heat. Heat. N.

[Music]

[Music]

Heat. Heat.

[Music]

[Music]

Got it.

[Music]

[Music]

He's got three queens, but I've got

three aces.

[Music]

So, he's using special glasses to check

out my fourth card. Well, I've got a

special contact lens that works even

better.

Child's play.

[Music]

Oh [ __ ]

Show us your card.

If I show him, I've lost.

We're waiting.

Oh boy, this trick better work.

Okay.

[Music]

Shazam.

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Does it still count?

Who do you think you are? We don't like

being tricked. Uhhuh. Now you're going

to pay.

>> No, not my head. Please don't shoot my

head.

[Music]

What a nightmare.

Hey, not my head. Not my head, please.

>> What are you up to? Tang wants his car.

>> God damn it. Tell him he can go and

walk.

I guess you can't.

>> Shame on you. Tipping is a bajgeoir and

capitalistic habit. You should be happy

to work for your salary and nothing more

like we do in China.

[Music]

In China, there's nothing to buy with

your stupid tips anyway.

Not even shoe polish.

>> Yeah. Longhead lady.

>> Number 823.

>> An odd number. There's a car coming.

Let's bet on the driver's sex.

>> You're on.

>> Your call.

>> It's a man.

>> You say it's a man.

>> A lady with an odd license plate. You

on?

>> Sure.

>> There. The plate's an odd number and a

long-haired lady. Where's your money?

You're right about the long hair, but I

never seen a lady with a mustache

before.

>> Wait, wait. I was right about the plate,

>> huh? You were wrong about the play, so

I'll take those, too. Thanks a lot.

>> No, you were wrong. We lost.

[Music]

[Applause]

>> So, here we are at last, a capitalist

capital. I can't wait. Let's go in.

[Music]

Let's ask.

>> Ladies, is there any way I can help you?

>> I'm looking for Secretary Lee. I know he

always stays here on his official

visits, and I'm his wife. Maybe I should

ask over there.

>> It's lucky for you, you ran into me

today. Those people there are completely

corrupt. I'm in security, so I'm honest.

>> How about that? I'm a security officer,

too. It's a pleasure to meet a fellow

colleague. How are you, comrade? How are

you?

>> Let's go this way. Go on.

>> Would you like my knuckle duster? It's

made in Russia. Do you use one of these?

>> Uh, we find that using a stick is more

effective. Uh, if you want me to take

you up, I'd be going out of my way.

>> Oh, I've got it. In Hong Kong, there's a

saying, no money, no talk. Right. Let's

go.

>> Oh, hey, hold on a minute. Uh, before we

go, I got to make a quick phone call.

Hey, come in, Leo. Can you hear me? We

got a car illegally parked in 206. So

move it. The cops are on their way. So

get it out of there.

>> Repeat, 206 is illegally parked and the

cops are on their way. Over.

>> I got it. I'm on my way. Over.

Now which floor was it again? Uh,

no. That floor's too low.

I thought it was higher.

Ah, yes. It's the second floor.

Quick, park the car. The cops are

coming.

>> Listen to me. Park that car or I'll

personally execute you.

>> I'm sorry. Old habits are hard to break.

>> Okay, which room is he in?

>> This way. Right here.

>> Your wife's coming.

>> What do I do now?

>> Get dressed.

[Music]

>> Put your pants on.

Hello, Mr. Lee.

Mr. Lee, can you come to the door,

please?

>> Out of the way. I'll do it.

[Music]

>> I'll kill you. You're perfect.

>> Don't do it.

>> You're a bastard. You're a bastard.

>> Put that down. No, not my head. Oh,

please don't shoot my head.

>> He was taken with a man.

>> Hey, now next time he's with a man, I'll

let you know so you can leave her behind

and keep it all in the family.

>> I'll be outside.

>> So, you'll be my informant.

>> Uh, sure. I'll report to you. Yeah, just

as long as you pay me, right?

>> No, don't shoot my head. Please, please

don't shoot.

[ __ ]

[Music]

Let's go to a fancy restaurant. How

about that one?

>> You mean that one over there? They don't

even have fresh seafood. All their

stuff's frozen.

>> Well, let's try this one. Their

seafood's all right, but their sauces

aren't.

>> And this one? This one's even worse.

Their service is so slow. By the time

the food gets to you, it's cold.

>> What do you think, sir?

>> This is a new one. Let's check it out.

>> This way, please.

>> Hey, Leo. Huh?

>> To get in, we need invites.

Hey, a video coupon. It'll do. Now, when

gambling, this means circles. This

bamboo, and this wins.

>> Sure. Circles, bamboo, and wins. You got

it.

[Music]

>> Ah, welcome. Well done. Thanks.

>> Well, so this is where the wedding is

here.

[Music]

I depend on my uh

>> What a weirdo.

>> Must be a guest that would rise.

>> You'll be waiting fetch.

>> Dinner will be in a while.

[Music]

>> Ah, Simon, you're here at last so late.

>> Oh, I got stuck in traffic.

>> How about game John?

>> Oh, what about Jack?

>> Oh, don't you know? Look there. He's

already playing over there.

>> So, he is.

>> Hey, did Tom come with you?

>> No, he told me he'd be coming later.

Let's sit down and wait. Yeah, you

kidding. The only reason I came today is

to play Maj. I'm dying for a game. Huh?

>> Uh oh. Uh ladies, uh you wouldn't uh

want to play, huh?

>> Oh, waiter. Uh bowl of noodles, please.

Oh, the same for me and a pack of

cigarettes. Would you like something?

Huh?

>> Nothing.

>> So, what are the stakes?

>> Oh, well, since we're only playing for

fun, say a hundred bucks a point and

starting with three folds, a maximum of

10fold. How's that?

>> Great. Right. Yeah.

[Music]

[Music]

>> Five circles.

>> Hey, P. Okay. How you doing? I'm doing

well. San Francisco.

Okay. I win. Lucky. That's 1600 each.

Count it. All right.

Okay.

[Music]

bird.

>> Yes,

it looks like I win. I'm sorry.

>> That's all right.

>> Pay up now.

>> Well, here you go.

>> Thanks.

>> You two are really lucky to know.

[Music]

Seven car.

>> That's me. Ah, we're up to four now.

>> So, how's that?

>> Incredible. You're the luckiest guy I've

ever really losing a battle here.

>> Oh, your luck will change, I'm sure. You

got one more. Thanks. Thanks very much.

Yes. Okay. Thank you very much.

>> Here you are.

>> I'm sure our luck won't last.

Oh, the race. The race. I'm sorry.

Sorry.

[Music]

>> I don't know what Hong Kong's coming to.

But don't worry, we'll protect you.

>> Thank you.

>> Don't mention it. If this earth wins,

I'll be rich.

>> Mommy, that guy we caught trying to

cheat a car. He brought his king.

>> Go take care.

>> Don't worry, it's nothing.

>> What did you say?

>> Just keep playing. Oh, good idea. I'm

feeling lucky tonight.

[Music]

Bamboo.

>> Bamboo.

>> Well, do you want it or not?

>> Not really.

>> Then let's play off.

[Music]

>> Mommy, he brought in even more men. So

what now?

>> Can't you see I'm playing showing you

take care of it yourself? Oh,

[Music]

>> men can be so violent.

[Music]

>> Ku,

[Music]

right?

Mommy, they're feeding us badly. What

are we going to do?

>> All right, use our master.

>> Oh, great. I'll chop them into little

pieces. Use your knife.

>> Okay, here's three bamboos. Do either of

you boys want it?

>> Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

>> I take it. I win the game.

>> Of course you win. It's about time you

win.

>> You know why? You misunderstood your

friend. His signals meant let's leave.

>> Oh, really? I see now. Yeah.

>> Here you are.

>> Oh, thank you.

>> Hello, Molly.

>> Hello, my son.

>> Weren't you scared just now?

>> No.

>> Hey, boss. Here's the money you asked

for.

>> You're useless. Huh? While you were

wasting time collecting money, some guys

came and started.

>> Mommy, here's pocket money for your

gift.

>> Oh, there's a good boy. Well, how much

have you won?

>> Oh, I haven't won yet.

>> What's that? Haven't won.

>> Uh, we just won a little.

>> Ah, let's go find our seat. Hold it.

>> My elder son will take care of you.

>> Uh, never mind. Never mind.

>> Oh, I insist.

Now give back all the food.

There goes dessert.

>> Now give us all your money.

>> You take US dollars.

Get lost.

[Music]

fighting again. What about

I told you to get your act together.

You're always in trouble. One of these

days, you'll go too far. You'll end up

like granddad. A gambler, a liar, and a

cheat. Is that what you really want?

That's enough now. I don't want to hear

it.

Here, rub this in your cups.

[Music]

A gambler, too.

I was winning tonight until I got found

out.

My dad and your son. What kind of a man

do you call that then?

What did you leave me when you died?

Nothing but bad luck and that's all. You

old fart.

[Music]

Now you stop that. You'll be sorry if

you hit me again.

[Music]

Hey, why didn't you help? What are you

looking at?

>> Ah, there you are.

>> What do you want?

>> Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you parked cars

here.

>> Hey, hold on. Huh? I do park cars here.

>> I'm sorry. Ah,

let's go in, shall we?

[Music]

>> Yeah, right. Like she goes for guys who

park cars. She's out of your league,

man. You're dreaming as usual.

>> I'll go check us in.

[Music]

Ready?

Oh,

one way ticket. One way ticket. Hey,

wait. How do you know she's a [ __ ] You

don't have any evidence. She might be

here for a business meeting. Or maybe

they're related. Or maybe that guy's

going to give her a violin lesson. A

[ __ ] is a [ __ ] Okay, I'm so sure.

Let's bet on it. Okay, 100, you're on.

>> Excuse me, H.

>> I left a file inside the car. It's

important for the contract.

>> Oh,

[Music]

oneway ticket. One way ticket. Oh, yeah.

[Music]

Hey there. Are you sure the file's in

the car? I can't find it anywhere.

>> Be mistaken. Huh?

>> I'll find it.

[Music]

>> Thanks.

>> Oi. Have you seen my girl? She ran off.

>> Hey. Hey. Hey. That's my car. Huh? What?

You laughing? That woman just stole my

car. As well as my wash and my wallet,

and you let her get away.

>> What's the problem? What? I'll tell you

what. These buffoons didn't do their

job. Then let some bibbo drive away in

my car. I'll report your hotel to my

gang. You idiot. Don't you know your

job? She gave me the damn parking card.

Giving you the parking car doesn't mean

anything. You're responsible. You're to

blame.

Don't you know? Never hit anyone on the

head. Huh? I'm going. Me, too. I better

not see you again.

[Music]

You're back early.

>> Why you will?

>> I don't work at that place anymore.

>> What? How do we pay the rent if you've

quit?

>> We can't pay the rent. We've got no

money.

>> What about severance pay?

>> Will you go away?

>> So you got nothing.

Ah, I know. I know a great way to make

some money.

>> Really? We can make a lot of profit.

Come on, Dad. Lend me 50 grand to start.

>> What's this great idea of yours then?

>> First of all, I'll need partners for my

dessert shop. I'll need 20.

>> 20 partners?

>> But you tell each partner his shares

5050. If each invest 50,000 towards the

capital, you end up with a million. And

that's not all. The shop loses money.

So, I close it. And then I tell the

partners we're broke. They haven't lost

too much. It's business. But I become

rich. In Hong Kong, it's the rule of the

jungle.

>> What if the shop makes money?

>> Hey, it's not easy to make money. It's

more likely we'll lose. Besides, I can

put insects in the food. And I can ask

the triads to go mess up the place. We

have to lose. I don't cheat the

customers. I only cheat all the

shareholders. What do you think?

>> You little [ __ ] You're even worse than

your granddad. How can you cheat people

like that? You know what happened to

him.

Oh, Dad. I know how granddad died. Don't

take it out. I've seen it a thousand

times. Now you look what happened to

him. Read how the king of the cheetahs

die. Go on. Go on. Read it. I don't want

you to end up like that, you'd lay

about.

Lock up my stamp albums for me.

[Music]

>> It's your fault. You're the king of

cheaters. Yet, when you passed away, you

left us nothing.

[Music]

So, he's seen the error of his ways. He

spent the whole night on his knees. Hey,

hey, wake up. Please don't hit my head.

Don't worry. That dessert shop idea will

never work. You'd only end up in trouble

with all the shareholders. His 2,000

bucks. Go give yourself an honest job.

Then pay me back. I'm going out.

He hits my head. And then he gives me

money. A skitso.

>> Skitso? Am I?

>> Uh, no. I'm a fatso.

>> Big. Why'd you bet it all? It's all or

nothing.

Small.

>> In your case, it's nothing. How was I

supposed to know?

>> Let's go now. Come on.

>> Bye.

>> Hey, got one for me?

>> Not you again. I've given you lots

already.

>> Come on. I just lost a lot. Give it

here.

>> Goddamn scranger.

>> They're only cigarettes.

>> What's his problem?

>> Doesn't even smoke. Who do you want to

bet on?

>> The banker.

>> What?

Lol.

>> Hey, it's yours. Huh? How?

>> You heard me. When I said that I would

bet for you, I meant that I would bet

for you.

>> Really? Sure. I understood what he

meant.

>> Oh, so when you said you'd bet for me,

you meant for me. So when I win, I win a

lot.

>> You're generous. No problems.

>> Same again, huh?

>> For you, Sarah.

>> Oh, what a big rabbit. Here, a tip.

>> Thank you.

>> Have you ever eaten a rabbit? What are

you looking at, pervert?

>> You wish they weren't even that big. H

>> Hey, but those ones are

here. We are.

>> Hey, another sucker.

>> Yeah,

>> thank you.

>> Get a load of her. Who's winning? The

banker. Banker.

>> Right. Get us a taxi. We've got no

money. It's all right. Go.

>> Uh-huh. What's wrong?

>> My lipstick's

>> a forget about it. Let's just play.

>> Ah, I left it in your car.

>> I do. You really have to go. We only

just Oh, okay. But please come back

quickly.

>> I will.

>> It's not that important.

Hey, here.

[Music]

>> Okay, go. Just follow that car.

>> Paul, what about

>> I got it.

Hey, here.

It's a dead end at 100. Here's eight

packs of cigarettes. Keep the change.

Hey, but I don't smoke. And what about

my tip?

[Music]

Hi, Dick.

>> Ah,

>> Miss Lily, be still my heart.

>> Your belly is big, but I can still see

your dick.

Here,

>> you've been working hard. That's the

eighth one this month.

>> It's to pay my mom's hospital bill.

>> You've earned enough to buy the

hospital. Another deal done.

[Music]

Load up the car now.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

just in case.

I hope she stops when she sees me.

[Music]

>> I saw what you did. I want to share our

teleops 5050. You got that?

>> Well,

hey, I don't mind hitting women, you

know.

>> Hey, fats. I don't like sharing my

money.

Down.

>> Don't shoot me.

[Music]

>> It's yours.

What a nerve. I'll get you if I ever see

you again.

>> Let's welcome our two new colleagues. I

want you two to remember that there's no

gambling allowed in this hotel.

>> We know.

>> Do you think our next customer will be a

male or female?

>> A female. I think male. Put 50 bucks on

it.

>> No way. Let's make it a hundred. Okay.

It's a deal.

>> It's a deal. All right. Thank you. Bye.

>> Yes, sir. After I get a tip from him,

I'll get one from you.

[Music]

No change.

Godamn cheap skate. Oh, here she comes.

>> You're happy? Better hide.

>> He's new here. Help him out. Uh, this

one's yours. I'll see you later on.

Come now.

>> So, why'd you buy me new clothes and

take me to this hotel?

>> I want you to look pretty in the room.

We'll make a video. Don't you want to be

a star?

>> Oh, goody. I've always wanted to ask.

>> So have I.

>> Hey, quick. Go find us a car to use. Go

on.

Hey, hey, hey. I'll park it. What are

you so eager for?

[Music]

This will fix the gas gauge.

[Music]

>> Close in time.

>> Wait, wait. Don't close just yet. Can

you make a copy of this key here? Here.

The car's parked. What kept you?

We can use this one. Great.

>> My car, please.

[Music]

Please.

Thank you.

Come on, Taylor.

[Music]

Get closer. Carl, stop any second now.

>> No gas.

>> Slow down. Slow down.

I'll hide now.

>> Hey there. Can I help you with anything?

>> I'm out of gas.

>> Oh, really?

>> What's the problem?

>> There's no problem. I'm just out of gas.

>> Oh, well, that's easy to fix. Uh, sir,

could you give this lady a lift? Oh,

>> sure I will. Well, my work here is done.

Don't block up the road too long.

You're lucky I came along.

[Music]

[Music]

Hey.

Hey, it's a man. Look.

[Music]

Come on.

[Music]

Ah, Miss Lily, be still my heart.

Uh, your belly is big, but I can still

see your dick.

>> You know our code, so you work with us?

>> Uh, yeah. Lily's mom is worse, so she

had to stay with her at the hospital.

So, she sent me along in herstead.

>> Tell Lily to hurry up and buy her mom

that hospital. She'll know what I mean.

[Music]

>> You're going to tell her more than that.

So, here you are. So, you and that [ __ ]

stole my car to sell to him, did you?

>> No. No.

>> You also stole my friend's car. Looks

like we caught you red-handed.

>> Hey, kid. You should be more careful

whose car you steal. Not everyone's a

pushover. I can steal any car I want.

Huh? You're so [ __ ]

>> Quick, stop him.

>> Stop him.

[Music]

>> Hurry. Don't let him get away. Go on.

Come on.

Get him.

>> Come on.

There you get him. Bye-bye.

[Music]

>> Quick, run them all over.

>> It won't stop.

>> Hey, there we go.

[Music]

Get out of here.

3.

[Music]

[Music]

Oh,

>> over here.

>> Hold it.

>> Hey, Ps. Do you really think you can get

away with stealing my car so easily? I

want a million dollars ransom.

>> He's got nice corners.

Don't you hurt him.

I'm not sure about his kidney. It seems

a little tender. In 3 days, if I don't

get the million, I'm going to slice him

up and sell his parts to China.

>> Hong Kong's overflowing in money. Just

look at all the jewelry shops in

Central. Should be easy to get a

million.

[Music]

[Music]

You got to pay.

No money, no ride. Now get off.

You're a real nice guy.

all the extras to make up. Come on,

let's go.

[Music]

>> I want to go to Jordan.

>> What? Where? too.

>> I want to go to Jordan Row. Can't you

speak clearly?

[Music]

Heat. Heat.

[Music]

I want to get off here.

Change this.

That's a $1,000 note there.

That's better.

What's the problem?

He's a ghost.

>> Huh?

>> It's a man. No,

>> it's a man. A ghost. Hey, come back.

over there.

Hey, you stay where you are. Stay there.

Aren't you scared? Oh, scared. No, we're

not scared.

>> Ghost can't die, you know. Let's see.

[Music]

It's really a good one.

[Music]

>> You scared now? I can do a wolf as well.

[Music]

Grandad.

Oh, so this is where they buried your

worthless corpse. Well, take a look at

your grandson. I'm as worthless as you

are. Thanks for nothing, you [ __ ]

Thanks to you, our family name is

ruined. It's all your fault. Since I was

born, I've had nothing but bad luck.

Other granddads leave behind a goddamn

fortune. So there.

Do you know how hard it is for me to

survive?

What have I done to deserve all this?

Why was I born so poor? Huh?

Why? It's true. You know it's true. It's

all thanks to you. It's all your fault.

Kill me if you want.

No, not really. Help me.

Incoming.

[Music]

Oh, mama.

How's work at the new hotel?

I know you're tired out. I'll go heat up

some soup for you.

Here, drink it. I don't want it. I made

it specially for you. Now drink it. I

said no.

[Music]

>> How dare you talk to me like that? You

hit my head again. I warned you.

>> Why you you bastard?

You call yourself my son.

>> You're not my son anymore.

>> Get your hands off my face.

>> You're dead.

[Music]

[Music]

Dad,

you're dead.

Oh, no.

[Music]

Daddy, I'm disappointed.

Show respect. Kneel before him.

>> I'm even more disappointed in you. You

hit my grave and spat on me. You've got

a bad attitude.

>> See, he's had enough of you as well. Now

you know I'm not unreasonable. Who said

you could talk? You're just as bad.

Why'd you turn him against me?

>> I didn't want him to end up like you.

>> Nonsense. I'm not that bad. I had some

money, but I gave it all to those who

deserved it. Take a look. You can see by

this. I was actually quite a nice guy.

Mr. Hol, nice guy.

>> Grandad, I want you to teach me how to

be the king of cheaters, just like you.

>> Shut up, bad boy.

>> Oh, yeah. You're a bad boy as well.

You've gone and ruined his image of me.

And as a result, the boy has never had

any respect. Now, those candles and

incense aren't real. They're electric.

And you never give me food, Chewy.

>> Yes, we do. Look, apples and oranges.

They're plastic and they're

indestructible.

>> You idiot. Enough. You hit him too much.

How do you like it? How do you like

being hit on the head? Huh?

>> Hey, don't hit his head. He is my father

after all. Dad, you can scull me all you

want. Believe his upbringing out of it.

I know I'm not perfect. I'm only a

postal worker. But I feel good about

myself. I'm honest and I want my son to

grow up to be honest, too. That's all I

have to say. Dad, you can go now.

Since I'm already here, there's

something I want to finish and I could

use your help. Grandad, you'll teach me

all your tricks.

>> That depends on your attitude.

>> Oh, great. Now I've got a chance. Yay.

Yay.

I'm warning you. It'll only mean

trouble.

Grandad, after I finish cleaning, I've

got some presents for you.

[Music]

My standards,

they're gone.

>> Oh, Grandad, please look kindly upon me.

Look, I got you a big house and a vans.

See, I even got you a portable phone and

a big screen TV commies would die for.

All I ask is that you teach me how to

cheat. When I go to the casino tonight,

you can come along to help me. Please

help me win lots of money. Oh, please

help me. Hey, I've got something else

for you.

There, a girl with big tits just for

you. Just like Dolly Parton.

Go on. Go on. Do your stuff. Big tits.

Go on.

Even when alive. I bet you never saw

tits like these, huh? Grandad.

Where's Grandad now?

>> Thank you. What do you want?

>> Well, I don't want anything you've got

to offer. Huh? Where is he? Down here.

[Music]

>> Hi, Grandad. I've been waiting all day

for you.

>> I can't come out in the daylight. Hey,

what are you doing down here?

>> Why do these girls wear so little?

Aren't they scared of catching cold?

>> It's the fashion now.

>> Not my style. And as for the big tits

you sent me, they're really horrible.

They're just like jelly wobbling all

over.

>> Stop complaining down here and help me

to win some money up here.

>> All right, go back up. When I hit your

left leg, bet on big. When I hit your

right leg, it's small.

>> What about even then? Ah,

>> in between. Come on.

[Music]

Big

big.

[Music]

>> I won.

Thanks.

[Music]

Small.

Small wins.

>> I can't believe my luck today.

>> All those chips are mine. Okay, I win

again.

[Music]

[Music]

Oh. Oh, no.

[Music]

>> Wow, look at that. I'm rich. Fantastic.

[Music]

>> This one's in the house.

>> Uh, you want a tip? Huh?

>> Of course I do.

>> Huh?

>> I don't mind helping you win, but you're

going to do me a favor in return.

>> Anything you say, just keep me winning.

>> Yeah, get that one.

You really want to attack me?

>> Hey Paul, I want you to kill someone for

me.

>> No problem. I can kill 10 people for you

if you want.

>> Which game nowadays? It's the easiest to

play and has the largest payout.

>> Welcome to the Mark 6 lottery. Tonight

we'll be using a newly designed funnel

which will eliminate any chance of

cheating.

>> Hey you actors, get off the set. Go back

to your studio.

>> Hey,

excuse me.

>> Keep it down.

What are you doing here? You spend money

on this, too?

>> Oh, you can win a lot of money on this.

>> I hear the first prize is over $2

million.

>> Well, if I win this, I'll be able to

retire.

>> Oh, you're much too young for that.

>> Tonight's first prize is almost $2

million. What do you think of that?

>> Well, that certainly is a lot of money,

Bob.

>> Sure is.

>> Well, you look at that. Will you stop

messing around?

>> Hey, don't touch that. Get back over

there.

>> Well, tonight's judge is Mr. Child JP,

and he is assisted by Dr. Hi and thank

you all.

>> All right, without further ado, we'll

now go live to the draw.

[Music]

>> Hey, what number?

>> One. One.

[Music]

>> Yes, it's one.

>> Huh?

>> The first number's wrong.

>> Your last number's wrong. Two, two, two,

two, two,

two, two, two.

It works again. Three. Three. Three.

Three. Three. Three. Three. Three.

Three. Three.

>> No. Not 33.

>> Hey, don't worry. I can fix that. Three.

[Music]

>> And the third number is three. It works.

This stick really has magic powers. It

really works.

Four. Four. Four. Four.

>> Four.

>> Four. Four.

I said four. Four.

>> 44. Right.

>> I didn't say that. Only four.

>> Oh, four. Why didn't you say so?

[Music]

[Applause]

Huh? They rigged this one, too. The

fourth draw number is the four. Go, go,

go, go, man. Go. I'm going to win.

[Music]

Get ready now. Five.

[Music]

The next one must be six.

>> Yeah. Yeah. 1 2 3 4 5 6. Nobody in the

right mind would choose those numbers.

I'm sure to win this with my help. Of

course. I'm going to win. I'm going to

win. I'm going to win. Last one.

>> Mine.

[Music]

>> I don't believe it.

>> I made six. That's what they've got. The

six has got a dot on the bottom now.

I want I can retire.

Hi.

>> No. Sorry. We made a mistake. It's

actually number six.

>> So sorry. So sorry. The sixth number is

six. I won. I won. All right. I'm a

millionaire. Hooray. Okay.

>> It was nine. You cheated. I want

revenge. Revenge.

>> I'm getting away from you. You mad man.

Help. Captain. Get this looney away from

me. He's trying to cut out the sword in

me.

[Music]

>> Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. If I were

a rich man.

>> Hey Paul.

>> Hey granddad.

>> You've got your money. Now it's time to

take revenge for me.

>> No problem. Who's the guy who did you

wrong? I'll teach him a lesson or two.

>> Just what do you mean by that? You

promised you'd kill him for me. Who do

you want me to kill for you then?

>> That's it. What should I bet on next?

Two, four, and six.

>> Okay,

>> I know that guy. Mr. No change. Wouldn't

even give me a tip.

>> His granddad killed me. I'll see you

around.

>> All right, fine.

>> You know who that guy is? He's just a

lucky sperm.

>> What do you mean by that?

>> Oh, it means right place, right time. He

was a sperm like me, but he hit a better

goal. Compare IQ's and I'm way ahead of

him. And you're a sperm of action. Kill

him tonight.

>> Huh? I can't.

>> Why not?

>> Grandad, I've got a friend in trouble

and tonight we've got to help him out.

>> Hey, Paul, get me out of here. I've been

up here for hours and I'm busting for a

leak. Are you here, Grandad?

>> Don't worry. I'll give you special

powers. Go on.

God, my million.

Is it all there?

[Music]

Kill the bastard.

Hey, Paul, don't play around.

>> What now? Use the horn. Hey.

[Music]

[Music]

You gave me special power.

[Music]

>> Then why do I hurt behind you?

>> I like special power. Watch your left.

Watch your right.

Oh my god. Too many.

Come back, Paul. Don't leave me.

[Music]

Hey,

hey,

hey.

[Music]

[Music]

Grandad, the special powers are running

out. Don't worry, you're doing just

great.

>> Grandad, now I need your help. How can I

take revenge if I'm beaten to a pulp?

>> Good point. Here I come.

[Music]

[Music]

He's a good

[Music]

Hey, come on up. How do you get up here?

Of course. All the Chinese-made weapons.

Two arms. Break out the gun. God. All

>> right, Paul. They good guns.

Come on.

>> Launch the grenades.

>> Wow. Modern bullets are really big.

What's going on?

[Music]

>> Go away.

Get out of here.

>> Quick. Stay away from me. I'm the bus.

[Music]

So, are you okay?

>> Ghost. There's a ghost.

>> Hey, Leo. Leo,

>> crazy.

>> I don't believe it.

>> Those bad old days are all behind us

now. God's in his heaven and all's right

in the world.

Hey, ever seen 500?

>> Sure.

>> 50,000 then?

>> Seldom.

>> How about a million?

>> No. Never. Can I touch it?

>> It's not for touching. It's for

spending. Yeah. But before that, we got

to bust a ghost,

>> right? Nope.

[Music]

I feel his presence.

>> Grandad, thanks for helping me win so

much. Now I'm a millionaire. I can enjoy

life at last. You should give up this

revenge idea. An eye for an eye and the

whole world goes blind. Now forget about

it and be happy. Goodbye, Gramps.

[Music]

Hey

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Sir, do you think this is a good sign?

>> He won't leave this world until he's

Henry's bed. I'm afraid they'll have to

destroy him.

>> Huh? Destroy him? Then he'll never

reincarnate. No. No. I don't want that.

>> He's really powerful.

>> Now you're trapped.

Spirit sword.

I must get rid of him.

>> Wait, wait, wait, wait. Sir, I've

changed my mind now. I don't want this.

>> You can't be serious.

>> I am. I am. I only wanted you to send

him back to heaven.

>> That's impossible. He's a ghost. He's

only here to take revenge, and that's

all. You're dealing with a killer who

must be destroyed.

>> No, no, no. Leave him alone. He's my

grandfather. You can't destroy him. I

won't let you.

Ow.

Better be gone. Lead us home. Get lost.

Go away.

Disappear.

Head off.

Don't come back.

[Applause]

You're pyromaniac.

Sir, please go. All right, I will.

My stamp albums. Where did you put them?

Right here.

See you later. Bye-bye.

Hey, look at these. Huh? Why don't we

buy the whole deck? No.

>> Oh boy. I thought this is supposed to be

enjoyable.

>> Don't complain. It costs too much.

>> Stonefish with strawberries and truffle

omelette.

>> The stonefish is fresh. It will cost a

lot.

>> I'll have the steamed freshwater crab

stuffed with caviar.

>> Caviar?

>> Yeah. Little fish eggs. I want you to

stuff them inside the crab. Okay.

>> Amazing.

[Music]

Oh, I can breathe again.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Ah,

>> here's another.

>> Oh, thank you very much.

>> Welcome.

>> Thank you.

>> Oh, thank you.

>> Okay. 25 point.

>> Eeny meenie miny. Eeny meeny. Eeny

meeny. Eeny meeny. You lost again later.

>> I lost. If you lost here, here's some

more money. Go ahead, play.

>> Wow, I'm afraid to play cuz I lose all

your money.

>> It's my money. So, go ahead. Don't

worry.

>> Eenyen me. Eeny meeny.

[Music]

>> Disgusting. Huh? Rude.

>> What sort of place is this?

Hey, hey, you and the low cut dress are

sitting near the door. Go ahead. Go on

now. Sit facing the door. Yeah, go

ahead.

>> Hey, I want to buy your underwear.

>> What? You want my underwear?

>> Hey, I'll pay for it.

>> All right. All right. Take them off.

[Music]

>> Okay. Thanks. I'm just going to borrow.

You can pick them up in the toilet later

on.

[Music]

Oh, thanks.

Boy, are you crazy? Look at yourself.

Why are you covered in handkerchiefs?

>> Huh? Handkerchiefs? Oh, yeah. Uh,

they're not handkerchiefs. Look, they're

underwear.

>> Shut up. I've got a bone to pick with

you. You betrayed me, didn't you? Huh?

>> I'm a millionaire now. Let me enjoy it

first. Revenge is not enjoyable.

>> You and me had an agreement. And I kept

my part of it.

>> Hey, I know that. And I've been

thinking. I can afford to pay a

professional to take revenge for you.

>> I don't want a high head killer. I know

what I want. My own flesh and blood to

avenge my dad.

>> Come on. I'm no good at killing. And you

know nowadays you get locked away for

doing that. I got an idea. You show me

where you were killed. Return to the

crime once more. And if there's enough

evidence there, we can sue the bastard's

ass off.

>> Okay.

[Music]

Hey, Grandon. Who's this guy here?

The general's expecting you.

>> Why are you dressed like a Japanese?

[Music]

Where are we? Back in time or what? Hey,

wait.

[Music]

>> How are you?

>> Hello. Samosan is here to meet the

general.

>> Oh, I see. How do you

>> Hello.

He's got a train to catch, so we haven't

much time. Hey, I brought your gold

watch that you left that time.

>> Oh, it's not my watch.

Yeah, I almost forgot. Wow, it's

bribery. Come this way. Okay.

[Music]

General Samosan has the goods here.

>> I'm pleased to meet you.

>> Here's a little gift to remind you of

your homeland. This is the sample I

promised.

Oh, now this I like.

It's the latest model. Is there only

one? Oh, I know. There's a warehouse

with it piled to the ceiling. Oh, this

gold is so heavy.

>> Granted, where are you going? Huh?

>> Are you really taking me to see your

death?

[Music]

>> Hey, they're following us. Lose them.

I will.

[Music]

>> Oh, where is it?

Keep driving.

[Music]

[Music]

We're rich. One gun and some cheap

pottery and we've got two boxes of gold.

>> Hey, stop over there. I need a leak,

right?

[Music]

Go on.

[Music]

>> No, you're trying to kick me.

[Music]

New training. You training traitor.

Come on.

Hey

[Music]

man.

[Music]

[Music]

Grand.

>> Well, now you know.

>> You're right. I'm sorry. I didn't

realize. I must take revenge. He's

outside. Huh? Hey, you better plan what

to do. Does your dessert shop have many

investors, then?

>> Mr. Buck wanted to invest too, but he

wanted to get me into his bed, so I

refused.

>> I wonder if you'll refuse me.

>> Boy,

that all you think of

[Music]

Fanung Chang. He defected from China,

didn't he?

>> Nowadays, it's quite common.

>> Hey, Leah, grab some. We'll need them

later.

Ah, Fan Chung Chong. That's the one. He

left the motherland for a woman. Damn

traitor went to France. His work's

really gone downhill.

>> It's no good at all. There's no red in

it. Look, it's been sold. Who would buy

such [ __ ] A rich, petty bourgeoa by the

name of Yao. A real [ __ ]

>> Let me add a little message to this

painting of his. Huh?

>> A tortoise means a sucker. Quite

appropriate, don't you think?

[Music]

>> Hey, what do you think you're doing?

>> Hey, comrade, we're just having a little

fun. Hey, now I remember. Among the

tenders for investment in our new oil

field, there's a potential investor

named Yao. I hope it's not this guy. How

could we trust a man with such poor

taste as to buy a bad painting like

that?

>> I prefer this fella to a loser like

that.

>> It's definitely them.

>> Yes, I know.

>> Nice Hong Kong.

>> It's all right.

>> With your money and our system, we'll

have one country and one system.

>> Grandad. Now, what do we do?

>> Knock him out and I'll take over.

>> Ah, director.

>> Out of the way.

>> Ah, director, you're here at last.

Excuse me. I don't think

>> What a smell.

>> Hey, hold on. Don't touch them.

>> I know those men.

>> Yeah,

>> you see.

>> Ah, we meet again. Why didn't you tell

me you were coming here today?

>> Oh, I didn't have time to, director.

>> I do smell. Must have been something I

had to eat. I'm sorry. However, this

seems to have done the trick. It's

great.

>> Well, in that case, let me introduce you

to my Hong Kong contacts. Okay.

>> Now, these stones are from the Great

Wall of China itself. Okay. Just a few

left. So, they're very rare. Now, these

stones I will give to you instead of

name cards. How's that? Huh? There.

Okay. There you go.

>> Let me take you to a nightclub. How

about horse racing?

So many presents.

>> Wow, great watch.

>> Yeah, and very expensive.

>> Boy, I put a bet on each horse.

>> They love you.

A watch that pages. Well, who's calling?

Oh,

it's him.

>> Well, hello there. I was passing by and

thought I'd drop in for a visit.

>> Oh, I'm coming in. Oh, your name?

>> My name is Yao Taiing. We met at the art

gallery. I'm calling on you today on

behalf of my grandfather. Let's see who

that is. Who's calling? Oh,

>> there's no need for that. I paged it

from downstairs. It's only me. I'm also

the one who gave you these two gifts.

Oh, really? You like them? Although very

odd, they're quite useful. Thought we'd

like. I was wondering if you were free

tomorrow to come for dinner at my house.

We can talk about the oil project. My

family is particularly interested in

your project here. Oh.

So, will you? Oh, yes. We'll come. Good.

Grandpa, how much you going to bribe him

with?

>> 10 million. I don't think that's enough.

>> $10 million US.

Welcome, welcome. You are welcome.

Welcome. Welcome. You are welcome.

Welcome. Welcome. Please come in this

way, please. You are welcome. You

>> let me introduce you. This is Mr. Lee

and Mr. Yang from England, China. And

this is Miss Lily, a renowned socialite

and also my partner.

>> Oh, your partner, huh?

How do you do?

>> These are our two chefs this evening.

They're from Beijing. If you cook it too

much, it loses all of its flavor.

You know your food. Well done. Well

done. Get out. Go.

>> Oh, yes, sir.

>> So, you and Miss Lily are uh partners in

what?

>> Oh, we've got half a share each in a

dessert shop, but we haven't got a name

for it yet. Ah, I've seen a place in

Hong Kong called Mountain Cream Store.

How about Creamy Mountains Dessert Shop?

Yes. Her skin is creamy white. And Miss

Lily sure has the mountains. I love it.

I love it. A name with a double meaning.

It's wonderful.

>> There's the hour call for you.

>> Oh, I'm sorry. Just a moment.

>> Go ahead. Hello. Yes.

How many shareholders?

Just the two of us, huh?

>> You need 20 at least. I know the plan. I

almost did it myself. Are you going to

put insects in the food as well? And

then close down. I'll expose you unless

you share the profits. 5050. You don't

have much choice.

>> He looks familiar. Be careful.

[Music]

I'd recognize that bastard's face

anywhere.

And him as well. They both cheated me

before.

>> I know him, too. Or at least I knew his

grandfather.

>> He's not an ordinary man. He has special

powers. He takes a bomb and he blows it

away with his own breath.

>> He has no powers.

There's a ghost involved helping him.

>> I knew this day would come.

At last, I have real need of you. Your

day has come now. Go sort him out.

[Music]

>> Here's 10 million US. I don't know what

to do with it. Perhaps you would be

interested in taking it off my hands.

Uh, well, I uh uh No problem, huh?

That's enough.

[Music]

[Music]

Hey,

you really have a nerve to show your

face again. Your cheating days are over.

You've gone way too far. Killed your

grandfather a long time ago. Now I have

to kill you as well.

[Music]

>> H kill again, would you? Well, I'll put

a stop to that.

>> So, you'll come back for revenge.

>> I don't believe it.

>> Believe it. It's real.

>> As for my money, my grandson gets it

all. Meanwhile, I'm going to kill you.

You won't. I won't let you.

[Music]

>> Kill him.

[Music]

What happened? Huh? Well, sorry. He got

away. Huh? Why couldn't you stop him? Is

he so powerful? Don't worry. I'll stop

him.

[Music]

Huh?

I can do that, too.

[Music]

What style is that? Mine. You are dead

meat. Oh yeah.

Grandad, where are you now that I need

you the most?

[Music]

Bugger. Bugger. What was that?

[Music]

>> Hey, get out.

[Music]

You can't escape from me this time, can

you? Now,

at last, you're mine. I suggest you

undress now, unless you'd prefer me to

tear off all of your clothes.

[Music]

A

[Music]

[Music]

no.

[Music]

Come on.

[Music]

Not on my head.

[Music]

Kung fu.

karate.

[Music]

>> And this style is my style.

[Music]

>> Have you had enough?

[Music]

Are you okay?

>> You alive or dead?

>> Almost.

>> Kill him.

[Music]

But I bless you. Now kill him.

[Music]

Hey,

[Music]

>> come on. Move ahead.

>> Don't push me.

Go on.

>> Hey, you.

>> That's his grandson.

The grand

hill one got away and the young ones

hurt.

You're the one in the middle, so you're

next.

Paul, bless you.

You're right. All along, father. I'm no

good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

>> I warned you about all this before. You

wouldn't listen.

[Music]

Look at your grandson now.

>> So, you're back.

Gone then,

>> father. You can't fight. Just run.

>> I'm good.

[Music]

>> But I'm better.

>> Wow.

[Music]

So, Dad, you can fight then?

>> There's lots you don't know. I'm not

that good.

Let's go.

Yeah,

[Music]

[Music]

You're angry. I know. It's not my fault.

He's the one you want revenge on. Go on,

kill him. I've got money. I'll give it

all to you. Once he's gone, I'll inherit

it all. So, go on, get rid of him.

>> He's the one you want to kill now.

>> You're not my grandson.

[Music]

>> Grandad. Grandad.

I'm rich now. I'm inheriting money. I'm

a rich man.

Help me. Help me.

>> What an [ __ ]

>> Help me.

>> Here. All this money is yours.

>> No, it's not.

>> That's dirty money. We don't want it.

Come on.

>> Come on. You're all insane.

He'll beat me more when we get home.

[Music]

Pocket money. Just take it.

I'm going now. Bye-bye.

Goodbye.

>> Huh? We'll share that. 50/50.

>> What about me then? I want one/3. Hold

on a minute. 20 for you. We'll share the

rest. Char.

>> Come on. I'm waiting.

>> Yes, sir.

Heat. Heat. N.

[Music]