All language subtitles for Orange Is The New Black S03E03 Empathy Is a Boner Killer (1080p x265 Joy)

[cell door slams]

♪ The animals, the animals ♪

♪ Trapped, trapped,
trapped till the cage is full ♪

♪ The cage is full,
the day is new ♪

♪ And everyone is
waiting, waiting on you ♪

♪ And you've got time ♪

♪ Think of all the roads ♪

♪ Think of all their crossings ♪

♪ Taking steps is easy ♪

♪ Standing still is hard ♪

♪ Remember all their faces ♪

♪ Remember all their voices ♪

♪ Everything is different ♪

♪ The second time around ♪

[cell door slams]

♪ And you've got time ♪

♪ And you've got time ♪

[cell door slams]

[indistinct conversations]

[Luschek] Hey.

Hey. Hey. Wake up.

Luschek, what the hell?

- You're needed in electrical.
- Man, it's not even my shift.

- It's an emergency.
- Excuse me.

We're in the middle
of a session here.

You can get back to your
flower bondage in a second.

And quit topping
from the bottom.

Meet me outside.

[Nicky] All right. All right.

Just give me a
minute, all right? Fuck.

What was that about?

Oh, the people are praying
for rain and mattresses.

Idiots. [snorts]

All right, uh, listen,
I, uh... I found a guy.

Well, it's about time.

Hmm. Well, my dealers
are too righteous to sell "H."

But this guy's perfect.

You know, this
biker from Coxsackie.

Total scumbag.
Married my sister.

Look, there's... there's been
a little hitch in our giddyup.

- What?
- There's no more giddyup.

- Why not?
- It's not where we left it.

Somebody must have stole it.

God... goddamn it.

- Keep it down.
- I knew it.

I knew I couldn't trust
you. I'm giving you a shot.

For not giving you heroin?

Actions have consequences,
and I got my sister involved.

[Nicky] Come on.

All right, she already
thinks I'm unreliable.

This was gonna
be a big win for me.

Wait.

- What did you mean by "we"?
- What?

- You said, "Where we left it."
- Oh, yeah, me and Boo.

I'm about to give you
another shot for being stupid.

No, no, no, man. It's not her.

I don't think. I-I don't know.

This place is
lousy with thieves,

so could be anyone.

Thanks for getting
my fucking hopes up.

You know, that's why you women ended
up in prison... 'cause you suck at crime.

[sighs]

Look at this fucking street,

all fro-yo marts and
clothes for homos.

Oh, you're gonna miss all
these yogurt and fag shops

when they turn it all into banks

and luxury condos
for foreign investors.

- Yo!
- He's out.

What? The fuck?

I texted Isaac, and
he said we can cop,

but he's leaving in 10 minutes,

and he's all the way
up on 79th and 3rd.

- We're screwed.
- Hey, no.

D-do not be fucking
negative right now, all right?

I'm not going the
weekend without dope.

Clear eyes, full hearts, right?

[all] Can't lose.

Hey! Hey, buddy!

Hey! Uptown?

Yo, buddy!

- What the fuck?!
- Asshole!

In the old days, they'd
at least say "fuck off."

What old days? You
moved here in, like, 2007.

[indistinct radio chatter]

Let's take it.

- What?
- Come on. Look.

The keys are in the
ignition. Let's take it.

Are you nuts?

You want to go cop
in the fucking projects?

Come on. Get in.

Fucking hell, man.

[engine turns over]

[tires squeal, screech]

Ow! What the fuck?!

Where did you learn to drive?!

[car alarms blaring]

Maybe I didn't. I
grew up in the city.

[man] Come on! Move it
over! Come on! Let's go!

Fuck!

[moaning] Wait.

We shouldn't be on the floor.

There might still be bedbugs.

Then we'll both get 'em.

So long as we're in it
together. Isn't that your thing?

You don't have to
be here right now.

Um, I do, actually,
because of you.

I meant in the library,

and I don't want to fucking
talk about that anymore.

- Well, you have to.
- Mm.

Because it makes me angry.

And at least, when I'm angry,
I have enough gas in the tank

to fuck you like you
deserve to be fucked.

Mm. That's hot.

Yeah, it is fucking hot.

[moans]

You controlling, selfish,
bourgeois piece of shit.

Turn over.

What? Why?

Because I can't
stand to look at you.

But you can fuck me?

Yeah, maybe if you
learn to shut the fuck up!

You guys, I'm not even getting
out for another three years.

So? That doesn't mean
you shouldn't start planning.

You need to pick a dress,

find an awesome
deejay, book a hall.

I know the dopest deejay.
He mostly does dubstep.

But I'm sure he can find a
version of the wedding song.

But I don't even know I
want to make it some big thing

or just go down
to the courthouse.

- [gasps] Hey, what?
- Oh, my God. Gross.

Hey, Daya, come on.

A person only gets married
once or twice in her life,

so go big or go really big.

Yeah, and it's
not just about you.

It's about all your
family and friends.

Mm-hmm.

- Ay, I love a wedding party.
- Hey, me, too.

Yeah, what makes you
think she wants you there?

Ay, dios. What do you mean?

Of course she does.
We're family, right?

Yeah, of course.

Of course. Of course.

Here's what's gonna
happen when you get out.

You'll call each other up,

maybe meet for drinks,
make more plans,

but then cancel
them, push them off.

You're suddenly really busy.

But the truth is you're
avoiding each other

because it only took that
one drink for you realize

you don't have
anything in common.

And all you got was a reminder

of the time you spent
in this fucking hellhole.

We're not a family.
We're a band-aid.

And once you rip it off,

all we are to each
other is scars.

Ai, whatever.

She's just being a bitch
because she can't see her baby.

So, look, you, like, get
out in 36 months, right?

- [Dayanara] Mm-hmm.
- [Flaca gasps]

- Yeah.
- That's, like, around summer.

[gasps] A summer wedding!

- Yay! [gasps]
- Perfect.

Except I don't get
out till the next fall.

A fall wedding
could be nice, too.

Or winter... winter 2016.

[gasps] Ay, si...

Or '17? One, two...

[Caputo] "Represents the warden

at meetings and
orientation of new staff."

- [knock on door]
- Sir?

Oh, I, um, yeah.

- [mouse clicking rapidly]
- I-I just, uh...

Did I catch you at a bad time?

No, I wa... I was just, um...

What can I do for you?

I wanted to talk to you.

I heard a rumor that
the camp's closing.

Where did you hear
that? From who?

Um, my boy down
the hill at... is it true?

[indistinct talking over PA]

Look, I don't want
to start a panic.

- So it's true.
- No. I didn't say that.

I just said I don't want
to start a panic. I just...

But why would we panic
unless the camp's shutting down?

Uh, there are many reasons
why a person may choose to panic.

Uh... sharks, school shootings,

uh, bee extinction...
they call it colony collapse.

And they say it's all from
this Monsanto pesticide.

It's horrible.

I just want to know

if there's anything I
should be doing for...

- There's not.
- So I can have some notice.

[sighs]

If you lose your job,
you'll be the first to know.

All right, sir. Thank you.

Thanks for stopping by.

[man on PA] All
guards inside 3273.

What the fucking shit?

[indistinct conversations]

What? People want privacy.

If we can grow the
corn high enough,

we can rent out the
field like a motel room.

I mean, we got to do something
now that we're sewn shut.

We are doing something.
We're gardening.

I did not join this club

to smuggle contraband
or to shank people.

I joined it to garden,
to make things grow.

Hey!

Is that our wheelbarrow?

It's the prison's. I can use it.

You can use it, and
you can return it!

- [sighs]
- [Irma] Did you hear me?

I just want to enjoy
the simple things.

And you can,

while we also rent out
the cornfield for sex!

[Healy] Nothing like being down
on your hands and knees, huh?

In... in the soil.

Nice to be outside
is what I meant.

[Red] How are you, Sam?

[Healy] Good. [sighs]

Better.

Listen, uh, about
the other day...

It's all right.

[Healy] Well, things
got a little personal.

It's fine.

I... I just don't want
it to be awkward.

It's not.

Well, it is now.

Next time something
awkward happens,

try not drawing extra
attention to it, huh?

How's it going?

[sighs]

Not so good, actually.

Not so good.

Remember what I said
about a corpse being a corpse.

I just want this corpse

to be sleeping in the
same bed with me, that's all.

I feel the language
gap is still a problem.

[sighs]

Healy...

I can't be your
marriage counselor.

Translator, for an hour
or so tonight after dinner.

Oh, no. I think I have plans.

No, you don't. I
cleared your schedule.

Oh, well, in that case...

Thanks, Red. It's
very kind of you.

You basically gave me no choice.

Even so, I appreciate it.

Are you sure you're okay?
Looks like someone hit you.

It's from when I was in holding.

What about your neck?

There's a... little mark here.

[chuckles]

I must have checked
my pulse a little too hard.

Is my work assignment in?

Oh, no. I don't give
assignments till I get to know you.

- I was just here.
- But I wasn't.

But better late
than never, right?

Hey, I'm teaching a drama
class later. You coming?

That's not really my thing.

Oh, come on. I think
it'll be good for you.

How do you know
what's good for me?

You just met me.

Look, Vause, I get
it. I get the anger.

When a country has more
inmates than teachers or engineers,

we are living in a
fucked-up society.

Prison is bullshit.

[chuckles] Then why work in one?

Because I think
there are people here

with potential that's
been squandered,

and I want to make a dif...

Oh, you want to
make a difference.

Yeah, I get it. You're
one of the good guys.

But guess what. We all
think we're good guys.

I used to work for a drug dealer

who wouldn't hesitate to
put a bullet in your head

if you crossed him or if you
stopped being useful to him.

But in his mind,
he's still a good guy.

[chuckles]

Heroin Robin Hood.

Because he cut out
the Mexican cartels

and passed on the
savings to the consumer,

and he never cut his
shit with brick dust.

And you're not
just another shill

taking a paycheck from an
evil system of oppression,

'cause you're fighting it from
the inside with drama class.

[chuckling] Fine.

Whatever you need
to tell yourself to get by.

But excuse me if I don't want
to spend my precious time

catering to the delusion that
you're making a difference.

I have my own
quilt of lies to sew.

That is a great speech.

Now, I would love to hear
you give it again in drama class.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

I get really hot down here.

Well, nothing I
haven't seen before.

I'm leaving now.

But it's not
because of... [sighs]

- I was gonna leave anyway.
- All right.

It's... like, you just
happened to come in here

right before I was
about to leave.

[Nicky] Great story.

Okay. Goodbye.

[man on PA] Escorts to
infirmary. Escorts to infirmary.

[indistinct talking over PA]

Can I ask you a
question, though?

- What?
- Why don't you talk to me?

[sighs] All right, what?

I mean, we were intimate,

and I understand that
we are never gonna be

like girlfriend-girlfriend
or whatever,

but I thought, you know,

maybe you'd at
least be friendly, civil.

You... you thought that?

Yeah.

And when do you
have time to think

when you're constantly talking?

Yammer, yammer.

Oh.

Wow. I guess that answers
that question. [scoffs]

You use people, and
you throw them away.

That's your thing. Now I know.

Hey, Soso. It's not
my thing, all right?

I look out for my friends.

You just don't happen
to be one of them!

[scoffs]

[Marka] You want me to do what?

We can't leave
them in jail, all right?

I'm responsible
for this, sort of.

I thought you said
this wasn't your idea.

[scoffs] I'm not gonna argue with you
the micro-details of who did what, okay?

They're my friends. I'm not
gonna leave them in there.

I'm not giving you any
more money, Nicky.

Thank God they didn't
find any drugs on you.

Praise the Lord,

'cause getting caught with
drugs is so much worse than,

uh, grand theft auto
in the eyes of the law.

Like, doesn't that make
a fuckload of sense?

You don't get to take the high
moral ground right now, Nicky.

I know. I-I'm sorry, Marka.

I... I have a
problem. I admit that.

I will do a better job
dealing with my shit.

I just, uh... I don't know.

Eh, maybe it's 'cause

it's almost the
anniversary of the divorce.

You know, I'm having a bad week,

and, uh, I did this
thing, and I fucked up.

And if I'm serious about being
a better person... come on!

It starts with me bailing
my friends out of jail, okay?

- Mom, please.
- Fine.

You're probably gonna
need more than that.

- Use my credit card.
- No, no, no. I'm good.

- Bye.
- What are you doing?

[Marka] I'll give you a ride
back to the police station.

I just need to take a walk,
okay, and, uh, think a little.

But, um, thank you, Marka.

I'm so grateful,
really, I just, uh...

Let's get a coffee soon
and catch up a little.

I'd like that.

[car door closes]

Pardon?

I mean, is it something
that animals did,

or did it start with cavemen?

Or cavewomen?

I-I doubt a woman
brought it up first.

Great apes did have those teeth.

You know, I bet
it was a caveman.

I-I bet he was like...

[deep voice] "Hey, Grog,
y-you think fire's a big deal,

but check this out!"

[grunting]

- [Piper] Oh, whoa, whoa.
- [blows raspberry]

Though, if it was an ape,

that would explain why
we lost our sharp incisors.

For blowjobs?

[Piper] Yeah.

You're saying our mouths
evolved to give blowjobs?

That's assuming you believe
in evolution in the first place.

I'm thinking about it.

[indistinct conversations]

- Hey.
- Really?

A hickey?

What are you, 12?

It was an accident.

You're trying to brand me,

but I am not your
fucking sex cow.

You're mine.

What does that mean?

It means that I am gonna
hurt you the next chance I get

and take my power back.

You're acting insane.

I'm insane?!

Kubra knows exactly
where I am now.

Do you have any idea the
danger that you've put me in?

The dan... I took... you...

You know what?

Forget it. I can't.

Aww, it's so nice to see
you guys back together.

We're not together.

She's my sex cow.

Oh.

Well, that's, uh... sweet.

You gonna come
to drama class later?

Are you serious?

Have you met
Berdie? She's amazing.

Yeah. We met.
She's my counselor.

Oh, lucky ducky.

I think I'm gonna
sit this one out.

Oh, why? You don't have a job,
and they burned all the books.

[Sister Ingalls] Not true.

There is one book
they were afraid to burn.

Mm. I stand corrected.

There is a bedbug-infested
Qur'an if you want to read that.

All right. Suit
yourself. Sheesh.

I took acting at high school,

and we learned
about masks, musicals,

and Chlamydia Dell'arte,
and that is from Europe.

[gasps]

He claims it's not happening,
but they don't tell us anything.

Probably afraid we'll
cash in our vacation days.

We're not even people to them.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

- [O'Neill] Hey.
- [Ford] Hey.

So, Bell, how's it
going with the house?

Not bad. I took out a
home-improvement loan.

Good thing I have a steady job.

Yeah.

[Ford] It'd probably
be really hard

trying to sell that
thing right now, huh?

In this market? With
a cracked foundation?

I'd be screwed.

Uh, thankfully, we all
have jobs we can count on

so we can plan our
futures accordingly.

[Ford] Mm-hmm.

- [indistinct radio chatter]
- He's fucking lying.

He didn't say anything.

He didn't need to.
Crap, crap, crap.

Wait, did you really
take out a loan?

Yes, I did, baby, for the
rumpus room, remember?

- Oh, crap.
- Exactly.

[sighs shakily]

[indistinct radio chatter]

So, you're really
jumping in headfirst, huh?

How do you mean?

[Healy] Well, I've tried
setting up programs like this.

A little tip... don't
expect too much.

And if you want them to open
up, you'd better bring a crowbar.

Whazzup, Berdie?

Well, look who dragged
their stanky asses downtown.

Oh, bitch, you ain't shit!

That's right, I'm the shit.

Oh, nice. Nice save. Nice save.

[Berdie] Oh, look, it's Snow
White and the seven freaks.

[Maureen] There's six of us.

You can count.
Color me impressed.

Have a seat, Rain Man.

Is she giving you a shot
off your record to be here?

[scoffs]

All right, great turnout.

And look who's late... it's
Alex Vause, you dumb bitch.

What?

[chuckles] Okay, everybody up.

Let's do a warm-up.

We're gonna do a
counting warm-up.

One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven...

[Taystee] ♪ Dear Lord ♪

We are gathered here today

to remember those
that were martyred

in the conflagration
of three days ago.

[all murmur]

It is a sad day when
any book is not returned,

or when it is returned,
but with pages missing

'cause some fool
needed to write a note

or they needed to
wipe their nasty ass.

But, anyway...

To have our entire
flock taken from us

is almost beyond reckoning.

So we take this time to honor
those titles that we've lost.

Go ahead, Washington.

Yeah, um, so, I've never been
at a funeral for books before.

And I... [scoffs]

I feel like there's
nothing I can say

that wouldn't be better
said in, like, a book.

Mm!

But, um, books are
made of paper from trees,

so we thought they
should be returned

to the trees from whence
they came and everything.

- The ultimate book return.
- Yeah.

And now I'm just going
to, uh, read some titles

we all thought
were worth honoring.

Great Expectations.

[Taystee] Solid.

The B.F.G.

Tight!

Damn. The dictionary.

The dictionary, man!

What are we gonna
do in the world

without a damn dictionary?!

Sister Souljah. Oh.

A High Wind in Jamaica.

All of David Sedaris'...
or Sedari, I guess?

What's going on?

Um, we're having
a memorial service.

For books?

Yeah, for books
and all printed media.

I didn't know you
were such a big reader.

The Treasure of the
Sierra Madre by B. Travern.

Have you, um, seen Bennett?

No, I haven't seen him
since before the weekend.

Oh. Maybe his shifts
got moved around.

Uh, excuse me. Can
you show some respect?

Sorry. My condolences.

Go ahead.

[Poussey] The Tale
of Squirrel Nutkins.

[Taystee] Mm.

- The Jonathans...
- Mm!

Damn. Swift, Letham, Tropper...

[sighs]

Franzen, Kellerman,

Livingston Seagull.

God bless.

[shoes thudding]

So, you really believe
all this mumbo gumbo?

I don't know. There's
something calm about her.

She has, like, a quiet energy.

She's a mute.

Yeah, that helps with that.

And she's white.

So, I trust her magic
more than the Spanish kind.

You'll believe anything.

- You play the lottery.
- That's different.

At least with the lottery,
you know each time you play,

your chances are a
little better every time.

I don't think it
works like that.

Like you know.

What did you wish for?

I'm not telling.

Why not?

Because it's
birthday-wish rules.

- [buzzer]
- You can't say.

[Kowalski] Hey, what the
hell is going on in here?

- [thudding continues]
- [Leanne] What?!

Oh, we're drying shoes.
They said to dry all the shoes.

In the dryers?

Let me see the work order.

Fine.

Hey, are we gonna get
more detergent soon, or what?

We're almost all out. I told
Caputo we need to order more.

I'm not sure he really
cares at this point.

You really should
have ear protection.

Do you have any?

No. I just mean...
in a perfect world.

[indistinct radio chatter]

[Angie] Leanne. Leanne!

What?

What is this?!

My wish! My wish came true!

[laughs]

- [squeals]
- Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!

Calm down.

- [laughs]
- It's magic!

Frankie? Oh! Oh, Frankie.

You have a phone call, Frankie.

Would you like
to take the phone?

Take the phone.

It's not a phone.

- What is it?
- It's a dog.

- [chuckles]
- [Lorna] No, it's not.

Agree to the
situation. Roll with it.

But she is clear... [sighs]

All right, it's a dog,

and my mistake,
and here is the phone.

That's not a phone, either.

What is it?

A dick!

[laughter]

I can't... I can't work
like this. I will not.

All right. Settle down.

Yo, agree to the
situation. That's the rules.

I can't agree to
that. It's nonsense!

[Brook] This is not how
you're supposed to do improv.

I took a class at UCB.

Oh, good for you, Queen
Improv. This is not your kingdom.

All right, let's get
someone else up here.

[groans]

Warren, you already went.

Oh, but you said I needed

to sublimate my sense
of abandonment issues

in activities.

I don't remember saying that.

How 'bout Chapman
and, um, Vause?

No, thanks. I'm good.

[Berdie] Well, we're all
good. What's the matter?

These two got history?

[Piper] You know,
with all due respect,

I don't think that
you're gonna get

the greatest performances
out of us today.

I don't want a performance. I
want to see you listen and react.

Show me some emotional honesty.

I want to learn how
to cry on cue and shit.

Like, get real good,
win me an Oscar.

Never have to buy
my own clothes again.

[both vocalizing]

Let's work on empathy, and
then we'll worry about free clothes.

Vause, come on up.

Chapman, let's go. Come on.

All right. I need a location.

The moon.

Uh, grocery store?

A grocery store.

You're the manager
at a grocery store,

and you are a customer
who's returning...

A live grenade.

The moon.

[Maureen] A bruised pear.

A bruised pear.

No. Cantaloupe.

Cantaloupe.

Uh, no, pear. Pear.

- [Berdie] You sure?
- [Maureen] Pear.

Uh, no, peach.

A bruised piece of
fruit. Sound good?

No. You're never supposed to
start an improv with a transaction.

But whatever.

All right, try to keep it up
for three minutes. Begin.

[inhales sharply]

This... fruit is defective.

[sighs]

How so?

It's all nasty and bruised up.

[inhales deeply]

Well, it's organic fruit.

So if you don't like my produce,

you can take your
business elsewhere.

[both] Ooh.

[Alex] Oh, I can't, actually.

[Piper] And why not?

Because then the
scene would be over.

And she said we had to
keep going for three minutes.

Well, I don't know
what to tell you.

- It's fruit, so get over it.
- I am over it.

You're obviously not.
You're not over anything.

But you know what?

You get what you pay for.

When are you gonna realize

that you don't get to
do whatever you want

because it makes you feel good?

Oh, my God. You
are such a hypocrite.

No! You crossed a line!

- [Piper] I did?!
- [Alex] Yes!

[Piper] Do you think
that this is what I want?!

To be here in this, um...
in this grocery store?!

Mm.

I'm sorry I sold you the fruit.

And, yes, fine. I will admit it.

I knew it was bad. I did.

But I wanted my power back, too.

Because I wanted you back.

Because...

I missed you.

And I...

missed... your...

patronage.

So... I sold you bad fruit

so you would come
back into my store.

And I know it was
wrong, and I'm sorry.

But I'm also not
sorry, because it is so...

good... to see you...

[breathes deeply]

customer.

Would you maybe like
another piece of fruit?

This is...

it's a persimmon.

Mnh-mnh. That's a dick.

[laughter]

You know I have
a thing for soft fruit.

[Black Cindy]
Bow-chicka-bow-bow!

[cheers and applause]

All right. Good work. Good work.

[indistinct conversations]

You really want
out of here, huh?

Wh... do you not want out?

Eh. I don't really
care, you know?

So, it's like, if
it does happen,

then it'll be a nice surprise.

But then, if it doesn't,

then it's like I didn't
care to begin with.

It's kind of like a
double-reverse jinx blocker.

- [chuckles]
- That's a good strategy.

- I thought so.
- No, that's good.

Hey, hey, Boo.

- [Big Boo] Hey, Doggett.
- How are you?

You mind making
like The Exorcist?

What? I can't.

I don't lay hands anymore.

Get the hell out of here.

Oh. I get it.

- [chuckles]
- I get it. You're cute.

- Yeah.
- All right, how about this one?

- Hmm?
- [clears throat]

How about I make like the
two feet and get to walking?

Oh. [chuckles]

[laughs]

Yeah, that's gold. Solid gold.

All right. I'll go.

Boo, before you start in,

I don't know
where it is, all right?

There's too many junkies.

It, like, could be anyone.

Yeah, you're right.
I-it could be anyone.

Only I'm thinking it's
one in particular, hmm?

One who was reluctant

to give the shit up
in the first place.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you mean me?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah. I took it all, yeah.

You caught me.

Well, good, 'cause I'd rather
not make thousands of dollars.

You know? I don't.

Uh, committing suicide with
dope after being clean for two years

is the much better plan.

I'm a genius. [scoffs]

[buzzer]

You best not be
lying to me, bitch.

Give me a fucking break, huh?

Marka wouldn't
give me the money.

All right, well, what
am I supposed to do?

You want me to
break you out of jail?

[sighs] All right, come on, man.

Look, Drew, I mean, seriously,

you can't... you can't
dump all this shit on me.

Is that Drew? Say hi for me.

Shh!

Drew. [scoffs]
Fucking people, man.

You know, I didn't force
them to get in the cab,

and now they're acting like it's
my fault, like I should feel so bad

they're gonna have to
spend a couple nights in jail.

Some people like to blame
everyone else for their problems.

Like my brother... pins
everything on our dad.

I'm like, "Get off it."
He molested me, too.

I turned out fine.

Tell you what, those two could
use a couple nights in jail, you know?

Fucking whiny bitches,
acting like the world owes them.

That all we have left?

Yeah, that's it.

That sucks.

Hey, you know who
else is a little cunt?

That girl, uh, Monica, you know,
that party on West End? Huh?

That apartment with
all the rare books?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she showed me

a signed first edition of
The Old Man and the Sea

that she said is
worth a shit-ton.

I bet that girl can't
even fucking read.

[chuckles]

Shit, do you know how
to get into that building?

Yep, they leave the door open

during the day
for the dog walker.

Maybe if we make
enough off of these books,

we can help out Drew and Jade.

Oh, yeah. That'd be nice.

[siren wailing in distance]

You know, let's play it by ear.

[indistinct conversations]

Ohh, for crying out
loud, Norma, come on.

Can't you just keep
this shit in the kitchen?

We don't like the
kitchen. We like Norma.

Get off my floor!

Look, Norma doesn't
even know what she's doing.

No offense.

That's not true. She has powers.

Powerful powers.

[Angie] I prayed to
Norma for deliverance,

and deliverance
felleth from the sky.

I'm telling you, what
Elvis did for music

and Eminem did for rap,

Norma is gonna
do for jungle magic.

[man on PA] Escorts to
infirmary. Escorts to infirmary.

Fuck!

[sighs]

Fuck!

[door opens, closes]

[Nicky] Luschek.

Remember when
I... what the fuck?!

All right, listen. Remember
when I said the heroin is stolen?

- Yeah.
- Okay, well,
I'm the one who stole it.

All right, but now... now
the meth heads have it,

and we need to get it back.

[sighs] All right, look,
man. I-I-I'm sorry, all right?

I couldn't say
goodbye. I'm an addict.

How convenient.

Well, it's not, actually, for
me or anyone around me.

Didn't that shit,
like, kill you?

Like, didn't your heart stop?

Man, it's... not a
rational thing, you know?

But I want it out
of here. I really do.

[sighs] I can't trust you.

And you're gonna
fuck it up for both of us.

I'm not gonna fuck this up,
okay? I've made up my mind.

I-I don't want to
die again, all right?

There isn't... there's
no, uh, white light for me.

If we don't get this
stuff out of here,

it's gonna find its
way back to me

or me to it, you know?

I'm like a... a
bloodhound for oblivion.

Well, oblivion doesn't make
a great business partner.

It'll be different this
time, all right? I swear.

Just, you got to trust me.

[dial tone]

[dialing]

[ringing]

[cellphone rings]

Hello? Hey, could you take those
two club chairs, put them right in there?

And then when the sofa comes,
I want it against the wall here.

Thanks. Hello?

Hey, Natalie. It's Joe.

[chuckles] How's Albany?

[scoffs]

It's a burgeoning tech
valley. What do you want?

Congratulations
to you on your win.

I-I-I'm sorry I
didn't call sooner.

I... it's been
crazy around here.

Yeah, I hear they're
shutting down the camp.

How do you know that?

Oh, Jason hears
everything. Joe, I am so sorry.

It... it's dark times.
Dark, dark times for you.

Yes, my times are dark.

[sighs]

Actually, I was calling
because I thought

maybe you can talk to Jason.

Talk to Jason about
what, "Beer Can"?

About not closing the camp.

Maybe there's an emergency
fund or something, huh?

Oh, yeah, that's not
really in his purview,

more of a federal issue.

Look, Natalie, I
know you hate me.

And, obviously, I, uh...
think about everybody else.

Think about Bell, Maxwell, Ford.

I'm so sorry. You know, I
am really bad with names.

[knock on door] Nat?

Can I get your advice
about the floor runner?

It's looking a little
"kuntry" with a "k" to me.

[whispers] One second.

You know what,
Joe? I really got to run.

But it was so nice catching up.

Maybe I should
talk to Gavin instead.

Is that a name you remember?
Gavin? Your husband's butt boy?

What are you doing? Are
you trying to threaten me?

No, of course not.

I'm just suggesting that
if the prison was to close,

basically because you fleeced
us before running off to Albany,

I might be inclined to inform
the voters of your district

that your husband is a lying,
embezzling fudge packer.

That's offensive.

I know. Homophobia is a bitch.

I could see why you'd
want to keep it a secret.

Joe, what's done is done.

There's no magic wand. Really.

I believe you.

So, what is the point?

I don't know. A sense
of justice, maybe?

Dark times.

I'll take my pleasures
where they come.

Joe, you have to take a
macro view on these things.

I'm in a position now to make
changes for the greater good.

Burn in hell, Natalie.

[receiver slams]

Katya, all I want is
for you to be happy.

I don't know why,

but we've lost the feeling
we had in the beginning.

We never have real
feeling at beginning,

because you're not the man
you say to me on internet.

- You catfish.
- Catfish?

Mm.

Um, you're not a
real psychologist.

You don't go to the
opera, and you're not funny.

And you yell.

It... [sighs]

It... it doesn't translate.

[sighs]

Look, I have not been perfect,

but there's nothing
wrong between us

that we can't work
through together.

No. It is too late.

I deserve better
man than you, Sam.

[Red] Oh, give
me a fucking break.

Deserve? Deserve?

You're a mail-order bride.

I'm not a mail-order bride.

So what if he
drools a small pond?

He takes care of
you, doesn't he?

He takes care of your mother,

and he's handsome,
and he's good.

And at least he's
fucking trying,

which is a lot more
than I can say for you!

[woman on radio] Visiting
time will be over in five minutes.

No exceptions.

Hello?

[Angie] Mm.

[sighs] [sniffs]

[Luschek] Hey. Get up.

[Angie] Hey, what?

[sighs]

Get up.

[grunting]

You're high.

[sighs] No. What?

No. I just...

I haven't been sleeping
well recently. [sighs]

Look, I'm gonna
give you one chance.

Either you tell me
where the drugs are,

or you rot in max for
the rest of your sentence.

That's not much of a choice.

What's not much of a choice?

Oh, shit.

- [clears throat] Come on.
- [grunting]

Goddamn it. Upsie whupsie.

Ow.

- [plastic crinkles]
- Hey.

This it?

Yeah.

- Hey.
- Don't! Those are my tits.

Liar.

These aren't tits! I'm
bringing these to Caputo.

Then why are you putting
her tits in your pants?

He's taking them for himself.

Shut the fuck up!

You tell anybody about
this, and I will fucking kill you!

With murder!

You understand?

Whew!

Jesus Christ.

This is enough to
kill a sperm whale.

Eh, well, ready
your harpoons, huh?

[chuckles]

[woman on PA] Inmate
300429, you have a visitor.

Hey, man, what's your prob?

It's not for you. You're
done, remember?

Look, I'm just saying goodbye.

Again? How many
goodbyes do you need?

Jesus Christ. You're
like Gollum with the ring.

You're a better
person off heroin.

You never saw me on heroin.

- I get the picture.
- [chuckles]

You tell Boo about this?

I mean, I probably should,

but, like, eh, fuck it,
it's Boo, you know?

Don't tell her.

One less fuck-up to
expose the conspiracy.

Actually, this is a good
thing that we're doing,

getting this shit out of here.

I don't like the idea of you
or any of the other poochies

around here getting
hooked on this poison.

[scoffs] What... but some
random schmucks in Utica is fine?

We don't know 'em.

Come on.

Some sick thinking
you got there.

[indistinct radio chatter]

[toilet flushes]

- Hey, Guerrera.
- Hmm?

That guard's back.

Mm. The cute one?

Yeah. Right outside.

- Mnh.
- He smells good, too.

Mm-hmm.

[indistinct conversations]

Can I help you?

No.

- Hey.
- What?

We know where
you can find drugs.

You ratting someone out?

Yeah, but not one of us.

One of youse.

Move along, inmate.

- Yeah, but...
- You heard me.

[indistinct radio chatter]

Don't you at least want a hint?

- Move along!
- Okay. Okay.

Electrical.

Look in electrical
and in Luschek.

[both moaning]

Mm, pull my hair.

- What?
- Just pull my hair.

- Mnh!
- Ouch!

Sorry.

Don't... don't apologize, Alex.

Just fucking, like, unh!

- Oh, God!
- You know, like...

[grunts]

No, it's just... it
feels weird now.

What are you...
It's not the same.

It's not the same. It
just... it feels weird.

I don't... like...

I don't want to hurt you.

[sighs]

Fucking empathy!

I knew that class
was a bad idea.

What are we gonna do now
if we can't have hate sex?

Hate snuggle?

[scoffs]

I don't really think
that that's a thing.

Nobody's even heard from
him. I bet he got another job.

Good-looking guy like
that has tons of options.

He has one leg.

[O'Neill] Yeah, but a pretty
face is worth a thousand legs.

Hey. Did an inmate tell
you something about drugs?

Something like what?

That there's
drugs in electrical.

You want us to shake
down a guard now?

Don't we have it bad enough?

You knew about this, too?

Those two dum-dums were
squawking all over camp.

Then why didn't any of
you do your job and report it?

You have a responsibility

to protect the safety and
welfare of these inmates.

What about your
responsibility to us?

I have a daughter at home.

You won't even tell
me what's going on

so I can know if I should
look for another job.

Put your sandwich down.

Why?

Because I said so,

and you will do as you're told,

or you will clean
out your locker today.

[indistinct radio chatter]

I am sorry.

The prison is closing.

But I need all of you

to continue to do your
jobs effectively until it does.

Do you understand me?

Do you understand me?!

Now, you are gonna come
with Donaldson and me,

and we're gonna
perform a search.

Is that clear?

Yes, sir.

Good. Let's go. You
can take your sandwich.

You want us to come?

No.

Good.

- [indistinct radio chatter]
- Hey, Luschek.

Aren't you worried about
leaving computers with inmates?

Maybe if any of you were
technically savvy, or Asian,

but, uh, we screen for that.

Hey, uh, Nichols, come here.

I want to show you a trick
with this, uh, switch-y thing.

[woman on Radio] Officer Bailey,

you're requested
in laundry detail.

Officer Bailey.

Uh, it's done.

Mark said it's the best
stuff he's ever tasted.

So, you're a happy man?

[chuckles] Happy?
Fuck happy. I'm rich.

Don't spend it all in
one place, all right?

I won't. I'm hitting
this casino in Oneida.

I'm coming to invest.

You sure that's a good idea?

Scared money don't
make no money.

Oh. [chuckles]

Don't forget to put my share
in my commissary, okay?

You got it, partner.

[door opens]

Inmates, on your
feet. Stand in a line.

What's going on?

Drug sweep.

- [chuckles]
- You high?

Please. High on life, maybe.

Smoked a big, old bowl of
life before I came in today.

Funny. Search his desk.

I was just joking, but,
uh, fine. Go ahead.

[drawers opening, slamming]

Ah. Found something.

Looks like coke.

No. It's heroin.

Plus gum.

Wow! Heroin.

I always knew
you were a fuck-up,

but I never pegged
you for a junkie.

[scoffs] Why do
you assume it's me?

[Caputo] It's under your desk.

[Luschek] Everyone
has access to my desk.

It doesn't mean shit.

It's her! She's
a fucking junkie!

[Nicky] Who, me?

[scoffs] Could be anyone.

- You're the scumbag.
- Scumbag. Seriously?

You're gonna talk
to me like that?

I don't even do drugs, man!
I-I used to smoke marijuana.

But it... it made me
paranoid! And so did meth.

But heroin?! Fuck, no. It's her.

[Nicky] What is
this?! This is hearsay!

You don't even
have any evidence!

[Caputo] Be quiet.

It's her. I suspected
her for a while.

[breathing shakily]

All right.

Take her out, down the hill.

- What?
- You're done.

[Nicky] What the
fuck is happening?!

Mr. Caputo. Whoa!
What the fuck?!

Max, Mr. Caputo?!
Wait! Wait! Wait!

Wait! Wait! Wait!
Max?! Fuck! Fuck!

We will not tolerate this!

You bring drugs in here,

you will suffer
the consequences.

- [scoffs]
- Yeah.

They're taking her out?

[Luschek] Let this be
a lesson to all of you!

Drugs destroy
lives! [door slams]

Never trust a fucking junkie!

[sighs]

[sighs]

Even if the burglary
charges are dropped,

you were carrying
a lot of heroin.

You're still looking
at five to ten years,

even if we cop a plea.

It's ten years?

What kind of a plea is that?

We'll work on getting
your sentence reduced.

[sighs]

To what? Only, uh...
only eight years?

Oh, hey, do I get
a free mug, too?

I... this... this is
just great, right?

This... this is fucking
classic, this guy.

All right, see... so... so,
you bend over backwards,

and then I'm the one that
winds up getting fucked?!

It is the best possible
outcome at this point, Nicky.

Yeah, well, maybe if
you'd done something...

I don't know, maybe
done something sooner,

it never would
have gotten this bad.

What are you
talking about? What?

All right, come on, right?

I have a problem.

I needed help. You
just gave me money!

I gave you money
so you wouldn't steal.

Apparently not enough.

What was I supposed to
do, Nicky, lock you in a tower?

[Nicky sighs]

All the rehabs,
all the promises,

and it's not just the drugs.

It's something about
the way you're wired.

You have this...

unquenchable
thirst to self-destruct.

And, you know, someday you will.

Hey, uh, on the bright side,

at least I'm going
to jail, so, you know,

I'll be out of your hair, huh?

You think that makes me happy?!

I don't know. I don't know.

I'm your mother. I love you.

But I am no match for you.

[sighs]

Only you can save
yourself at this point, Nicky.

So you can decide
to take yourself on,

or you can let this thing
play out until it kills you.

I'm not the enemy.

Uh-huh?

I never was.

[sighs]

Right.

[breathing shakily]

You look exhausted.

Rough day at work?

What the fuck are
you doing here?

What's that?

Business plan,
management and corrections.

It's a prison corporation.

They were poking around
Litchfield about a year ago

looking to acquire
a women's prison,

but we didn't meet the criteria.

Why would it be
any different now?

Because now you
know the criteria.

Give them a call,
set up a walk-through.

And then what? Lie?

[chuckles] And you thought
my job would be easy.

So long, Beer Can.

See you, Fangs. [teeth clack]

[engine turns over]

Nicky, baby, what's happening?

Stay back!

I need to talk to her!
I need to talk to her!

I'm her mother, goddamn it!

Nicky, what happened?
Where did this come from?

I thought you were doing okay.

Wow. I'm a fuck-up, huh?

You know, you could have
come to me if you were struggling.

- I know.
- Then why didn't you?

[voice breaking] Because
that's not what I do, okay?

I love you.

[crying] I love you, too.

[♪ Dum Dum Girls'
"Coming Down" plays]

[crying]

♪ Oh, whoa, oh ♪

♪ I take as much as I can get ♪

Down the hill to max.

All right.

[clears throat]

♪ Any regret ♪

♪ I think ♪

Hey, Nichols.

You wanted out.

You're getting out.

Yeah. How 'bout that?

Hey, look at the bright
side. Can't get any shittier.

I don't know about that, Penn.

I'm very resourceful.

Mm, well, you know...

Did you say goodbye
to your people?

What people?

Uh, all the dykes and your mom.

Red's not my mom.

Wouldn't wish that on her.

I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

♪ Who won't ♪

♪ If you ever had a real heart ♪

♪ I don't think ♪

♪ You'd know where to start ♪

♪ 'Cause I think ♪

♪ I'm coming down ♪

♪ I think ♪

♪ I'm coming down ♪

♪ I think ♪

♪ I'm coming down ♪

♪ I think I'm coming down ♪

♪ Here I go ♪

♪ I think I'm coming down ♪

♪ Here I go ♪

♪ I think I'm coming down ♪

♪ Here I go ♪

♪ I think I'm coming down ♪

♪ There I go ♪

♪ I think I'm coming down ♪

♪ Yes, I think ♪

♪ I'm coming down ♪