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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:04,922 Sync & corrections by Blue-Bird™ 2 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:07,455 Provided by DKSubs 3 00:00:07,455 --> 00:00:09,254 Modify by Blue-Bird™ 4 00:03:14,033 --> 00:03:16,600 Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass. 5 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,567 Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm about to rent a car. 6 00:03:38,266 --> 00:03:40,600 - What's up? - Hi, I have a reservation. 7 00:03:40,633 --> 00:03:42,667 Okay, I need a driver's license and a credit card. 8 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,133 All right. 9 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,676 I need a signature here that you're going to use your coverage instead of ours. 10 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:50,700 - Is that white one us? - Yes. 11 00:03:50,734 --> 00:03:53,500 And we're gonna walk around it, inspect it together. 12 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,367 Looks pretty good. 13 00:03:57,934 --> 00:04:00,300 I'm just looking for dents and major scratches. 14 00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:01,533 Yeah. 15 00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:02,810 Something major, gonna write it down. 16 00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:03,967 Little ding there. 17 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,100 Yeah. 18 00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:07,300 No, we'll take good care of her. 19 00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:08,343 Thank you. Have a good week. 20 00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:09,567 You, too. Thank you. 21 00:04:36,433 --> 00:04:38,033 I'm Johnny. Hey, man. 22 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:41,000 We're gonna be doing a hell of a lot of work here today. 23 00:04:54,066 --> 00:04:56,133 Trust us. We're gonna have fun. 24 00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:08,600 Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville, 25 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:11,033 and this is called the Rent-a-Car Crash-Up Derby. 26 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,734 Oh, fuck! 27 00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:49,667 You guys are gonna die! 28 00:06:02,367 --> 00:06:04,700 Shut the car off before it gets hot. 29 00:06:05,967 --> 00:06:07,467 Oh, fuck! 30 00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:15,734 I guess we didn't reinforce the windshield. 31 00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:18,000 That fucker kept... Missed me by that much. 32 00:06:19,734 --> 00:06:21,694 That's why you got the roll bars behind you, dude. 33 00:06:30,133 --> 00:06:31,467 Whose car is this? 34 00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:35,467 - Uh, this is your guys' car. - I rented it from you earlier. 35 00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:37,834 Yes. Yeah, what... 36 00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:39,400 Yeah, I hit a dog. 37 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,934 A dog didn't cause this. 38 00:06:43,934 --> 00:06:45,133 Come on in. 39 00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:48,033 I had a accident, as you can see. 40 00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:51,600 I was... I mean, I drink. I just black out, so I... 41 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,300 Were you drinking or anything? 42 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,266 Yeah, I had a little, to be honest. 43 00:06:58,166 --> 00:06:59,934 Is there any license plates on it? 44 00:06:59,967 --> 00:07:01,934 There was. Yeah? 45 00:07:01,967 --> 00:07:04,533 Well, hopefully you guys will incur some of the cost. 46 00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:05,800 Oh, no. 47 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,009 'Cause I rented it from you guys fair and square. 48 00:07:08,033 --> 00:07:09,166 Yeah. 49 00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:11,867 I don't want to get stuck with the whole charge of it. 50 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,042 Well, you are gonna get stuck with the entire thing. 51 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:17,200 - Well, I don't think I should. - I think you guys should help. 52 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,934 No. You declined any additional coverage. 53 00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:22,734 Right there. You declined it. 54 00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:25,867 Yeah, but that's just paperwork, you know? 55 00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,209 That's a legal contract. Yeah, but I was a little... I was... 56 00:07:28,233 --> 00:07:30,867 I had a few to drink when I signed that, too, so... 57 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,734 Well, we're gonna have to get this worked out. 58 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,166 Yeah, you're gonna have to pay for that car. 59 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,042 Well, you're gonna have to help me pay for that car. 60 00:07:37,066 --> 00:07:38,200 No, we don't do that. 61 00:07:38,233 --> 00:07:41,100 I returned it with a full tank of gas. 62 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,233 You returned it demolished. 63 00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:45,734 Well, it's got a full tank of gas. 64 00:07:45,767 --> 00:07:48,266 That's the least of our worries right now, is the gas. 65 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,100 Oh. This is an unmitigated outrage. 66 00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:52,266 I've never seen anything like this before. 67 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,367 What does that mean? 68 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,467 No one's ever done that. 69 00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:02,233 Well, I can't pay for it. 70 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,734 Well, you're gonna have to. 71 00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:06,100 Well, I ain't. 72 00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:11,467 Look, I'm gonna let you two guys work it out and I'm gonna go outside, 73 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,333 but, um, that car's gonna have to be paid for. 74 00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,367 "F" you! 75 00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,467 Are you all right? 76 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,300 You all right? 77 00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:11,400 Knoxville knocked my nuts in half. 78 00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:21,567 This is the Muscle Stimulator. 79 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,867 Oh, it hurts my teeth! 80 00:09:31,967 --> 00:09:33,834 I can't even turn it off. 81 00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:42,133 How is that supposed to help? 82 00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:43,600 Okay, are you ready? Yeah. 83 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,367 Think about your... your... 84 00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:51,076 Okay, okay, I got it. I'm taking care of you. 85 00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:52,876 It's all right. Okay. Oh, my God, it's so bad. 86 00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,433 It's cool. You cool? Yeah. I'm good. 87 00:09:54,467 --> 00:09:55,900 Okay. Come on. 88 00:09:55,934 --> 00:09:58,066 Ease up. Come on. Daddy's got you. 89 00:09:58,100 --> 00:10:01,266 Oh, my God, it's so fucking bad. Daddy's got you. Come on. 90 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,767 Whoo! 91 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,467 You're gonna have tits of steel. 92 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,700 Oh. Yeah, you're so buff right now. 93 00:10:08,266 --> 00:10:10,376 Yeah, this goes on the gooch. Yeah, go, go, go, come on. 94 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,843 This goes on the gooch. Oh, dude, he's done. 95 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:13,367 Who's gonna do the gooch? 96 00:10:14,633 --> 00:10:16,300 In case you didn't know what the gooch is, 97 00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:20,400 the gooch is the spot between your balls and butt hole, and... 98 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,033 Ooh! 99 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,200 Does it smell like... Does it smell like man? Ooh! Smell. 100 00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:40,433 Just smell it. Just smell it. 101 00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:41,700 Ehren, smell it. 102 00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:49,400 No, come on. 103 00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:50,776 Do your balls first, just to get it over with. 104 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,242 Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get it over with. 105 00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:53,800 Are we ready? You're so gone, man. 106 00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,233 Okay. 107 00:11:05,066 --> 00:11:08,734 He likes it! He likes it! Oh, my God! 108 00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:10,200 He likes it. 109 00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:27,667 Afternoon. How you doing? 110 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,667 Oh. Son of a bitch. 111 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:38,033 What happened? 112 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,166 Oh, man! 113 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,166 Oh! 114 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,233 Fuck! Fuck! Oh! 115 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,934 ♬ Well, now the cats are rockin' ♬ 116 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:17,166 ♬ And everyone's feeling all right ♬ 117 00:12:17,934 --> 00:12:21,233 ♬ And on a Wednesday evening, there's sure gonna be a fight ♬ 118 00:12:21,266 --> 00:12:22,667 ♬ Yeah, a fight ♬ 119 00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:25,834 ♬ I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♬ 120 00:12:26,834 --> 00:12:28,467 ♬ Well, now the party's groovin' ♬ 121 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,767 ♬ And everyone's shouting for more ♬ 122 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:31,934 ♬ More ♬ 123 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,109 ♬ I say there's gonna be a pool of blood on the dancefloor ♬ 124 00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,367 ♬ More ♬ 125 00:12:36,767 --> 00:12:39,533 ♬ I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♬ 126 00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:42,467 ♬ We're gonna rip up the chairs ♬ 127 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,567 ♬ Tear down the walls, smash up the band ♬ 128 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,000 ♬ And really have a ball ♬ 129 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,033 ♬ The busboy's gonna beat up on his face ♬ 130 00:12:48,066 --> 00:12:50,133 ♬ And the whole dance floor will be a total mess ♬ 131 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,400 ♬ Well, the cats are rockin' ♬ 132 00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:53,567 ♬ And everyone is feelin' all right ♬ 133 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:54,867 ♬ All right... ♬ 134 00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,400 Whoa! 135 00:12:58,934 --> 00:13:02,400 ♬ I said somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♬ 136 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,667 Yeah! 137 00:13:10,867 --> 00:13:12,433 Oh. 138 00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:19,333 Yes! That was the best thing I've ever seen. 139 00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:21,000 ♬ Tear down the walls ♬ 140 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,333 What? 141 00:13:22,438 --> 00:13:23,408 ♬ Really have a ball... 142 00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:26,009 ♬ And the whole dance hall will be a total mess... ♬ 143 00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:27,467 Oh, fuck, dude. 144 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,500 Nice, yeah. 145 00:13:32,533 --> 00:13:35,000 ♬ And on a Wednesday evening, there's sure gonna be a fight ♬ 146 00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:36,100 ♬ Be a fight! ♬ 147 00:13:37,433 --> 00:13:39,793 ♬ I say somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight ♬ 148 00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:45,834 Are you okay? 149 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,233 Are you okay? Are you okay? Get over here! 150 00:13:48,266 --> 00:13:49,867 Help him! Help him! Help him! Medic! 151 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,834 No, no, no, no. Don't move him. Don't move him! 152 00:13:51,867 --> 00:13:53,166 Oh, shit. 153 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,142 That had bad news written all over it. Are you okay? You all right? 154 00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:59,743 That was like the worst thing that could ever happen, right there. 155 00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:01,467 Dunn can't drive for shit. 156 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,943 I don't know what happened. I just remember we went in the air, 157 00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:08,367 and the next thing I know I'm just fucked. Look at that cart. 158 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,600 Dude, you were hauling so much ass. 159 00:14:14,633 --> 00:14:17,667 We're here in Tokyo, and I feel like partying. 160 00:14:21,934 --> 00:14:23,600 Hi. I'm Party Boy. 161 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,967 Oh, can I try this? 162 00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:27,934 Here we go. 163 00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:29,567 That's my party music. 164 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,533 You like it? 165 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,066 Kind of makes you wanna party, huh? 166 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,734 Kind of feel like partying right now. 167 00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:42,000 Ready? 168 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:54,467 See, that's what the big ones do, but sometimes they don't... 169 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,000 It'll take a while before... 170 00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:57,667 Oh, fuck! 171 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,900 Don't pull on it, man. You can't pry his mouth open. 172 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,633 It's slowly getting away. It's slowly... 173 00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:06,967 Is he opening it? 174 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,633 No, you're twisting him! You're fucking twisting him! 175 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,734 Oh, fuck! He's got my nipple, dude. He's got my fucking nipple. 176 00:16:14,767 --> 00:16:16,207 Wait, wait, wait, he's gonna open it. 177 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,487 I know. I know. Hang on, hang on. Hang on. Don't move. 178 00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:23,567 You little bastard! 179 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,734 Oh, look at the teeth marks. 180 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,266 Man. 181 00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:41,533 I'm Bunny, the lifeguard, 182 00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,500 and if any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, 183 00:16:44,533 --> 00:16:47,667 I'm gonna rassle them down and probably have my way with them. 184 00:16:48,033 --> 00:16:50,300 If he falls and he lands near an alligator, 185 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:53,033 and an alligator grabs a hold of him, Steve-O will relax, 186 00:16:53,066 --> 00:16:56,266 let the alligator take him and hope that the alligator will release him. 187 00:16:56,533 --> 00:16:59,033 Hi. I'm Steve-O, and this is Alligator Tightrope. 188 00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:06,700 Oh, shit. 189 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,476 There's no such thing as failure, Steve-O. 190 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:09,700 Take another step. 191 00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:11,100 You got it. 192 00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:14,166 One thing I know is good tightrope walking. 193 00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:17,967 - Oh, no. - Oh, yes. 194 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,700 You're cool. You're good. 195 00:17:22,734 --> 00:17:24,467 Go put the chicken on him! 196 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,867 Yeah! Yeah! 197 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,433 Oh, shit. There you go. 198 00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:34,834 Yeah, there you go. Food, food, food, food. 199 00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:36,333 Go back down a little bit. 200 00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:38,800 Go, keep going, Steve-O. 201 00:17:38,834 --> 00:17:40,767 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! 202 00:17:42,867 --> 00:17:44,000 Yeah! 203 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:50,433 Keep going, Steve-O. Keep going! 204 00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:51,734 Keep going, Steve-O! 205 00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:53,900 Keep your head up, Steve-O! 206 00:17:54,734 --> 00:17:57,400 Keep your head up! Keep your head up! 207 00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:58,643 They got you now. You're doing good! 208 00:17:58,667 --> 00:17:59,800 Keep your head up! 209 00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:01,600 Keep your butt up! 210 00:18:01,633 --> 00:18:03,133 You got it! All right, all right! 211 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,800 Keep your butt... 212 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,509 Put it in your ass and let him take it. 213 00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,000 Come on. 214 00:18:15,266 --> 00:18:16,834 Stick the bone up your ass. 215 00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,033 And let him pull it out. 216 00:18:18,066 --> 00:18:19,667 Food, food, food, food! 217 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,400 Get ready. Here it comes. Here it comes. 218 00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:25,333 Stay there. Don't move. Don't move. 219 00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:27,133 It'll be over before you know it. 220 00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:28,443 Don't look! Don't look, Steve-O. 221 00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:29,633 Don't look. 222 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,433 Don't look, Steve-O! Don't look! 223 00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:34,033 Stay still. Stay still. 224 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,633 He's going. He's got it. Don't look! Don't look! 225 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:40,333 Don't move! 226 00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:42,333 Hang on! 227 00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:43,500 Hold still! Hold still! 228 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,900 I ran straight into a crocodile. What the hell. 229 00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:57,667 Oh, my God. 230 00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,266 Why can't you walk on a tightrope? 231 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,900 I don't know. 232 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:02,533 I thought you'd do it. 233 00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,233 Yeah. 234 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,767 I just... I don't know, man. But I'm sure I could learn, 235 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,433 but today, you know, today was my first try. 236 00:19:13,567 --> 00:19:15,667 I'm Bam Margera, and my parents are dead asleep. 237 00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:20,533 It's 12:42 right now and Phil has to be at work at 5:00 in the morning. 238 00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:22,176 So he's trying to get a good night's sleep 239 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,133 and I'm gonna go wake his ass up. 240 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,000 I'm dying! 241 00:20:13,233 --> 00:20:14,400 Holy shit! 242 00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:18,109 Oh, my God, I'm opening the windows. Getting crazy over here. 243 00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,467 Look at Phil's tummy. 244 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:20,900 Oh. Oh, my God! 245 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:25,367 Phil, you gotta be up for 5:00 in the morning tonight. 246 00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,333 6:00, gotta be at work. 247 00:20:36,266 --> 00:20:38,533 Yo, here he comes. Here he comes. Here he comes. 248 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,567 Jesus Christ, Bam! I almost broke my leg getting out of there! 249 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,076 There's shit all over the goddamn van. 250 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:13,567 How am I going to work now? 251 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,567 Go! 252 00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:35,500 I... Jesus! 253 00:21:35,533 --> 00:21:38,000 ♬ That woman in the corner cold playin' the role ♬ 254 00:21:38,033 --> 00:21:40,800 ♬ Leave her ass in the corner till her feet gets cold ♬ 255 00:21:40,834 --> 00:21:43,133 ♬ Knowin' for a fact that girl is wack ♬ 256 00:21:43,166 --> 00:21:45,667 ♬ If you hold your hand out, she'll turn her back ♬ 257 00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:48,300 ♬ Better walk, don't talk, she's all pretend ♬ 258 00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,867 ♬ Can't be her friend unless you spend ♬ 259 00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:53,333 ♬ Wall to wall after all, get ready to throw ♬ 260 00:21:53,367 --> 00:21:54,700 ♬ All your money at the bitch ♬ 261 00:21:54,734 --> 00:21:57,400 ♬ 'Cause she thinks she's sophisticated ♬ 262 00:22:00,467 --> 00:22:02,300 ♬ Sophisticated ♬ 263 00:22:05,266 --> 00:22:07,166 ♬ Sophisticated ♬ 264 00:22:10,567 --> 00:22:12,700 ♬ Sophisticated ♬ 265 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:42,633 What are you doing? 266 00:22:43,567 --> 00:22:45,300 You know, I ought to arrest you right now 267 00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:48,200 with all that in your clothes. What's wrong with you? 268 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,433 What are you talking about? 269 00:22:49,467 --> 00:22:50,767 Get this out of your pocket, man! 270 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,233 That's all me! All of this! 271 00:22:52,266 --> 00:22:53,700 All of that! That's all me! 272 00:22:54,834 --> 00:22:56,734 What is this bullshit? 273 00:23:02,066 --> 00:23:03,743 What is wrong with you? Those are my bananas. 274 00:23:03,767 --> 00:23:06,033 Don't never come in here no more, man! What are you... 275 00:23:06,066 --> 00:23:08,967 Get out! And take the other stuff out of your pockets. 276 00:23:10,934 --> 00:23:12,567 Jeez! Get it all out! 277 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,200 That's how you treat an old man? 278 00:23:14,233 --> 00:23:17,533 Yep. Get out! Go! An old man that steals, I can't believe it. 279 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:25,367 Hey, man, what kind of games you playing? Get out! 280 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,400 Get out, man! God damn it! 281 00:23:36,467 --> 00:23:39,433 What is wrong with you? Get out! 282 00:23:47,867 --> 00:23:49,300 Man, quit playing! 283 00:23:53,934 --> 00:23:55,834 I was Lon Chaney's lover! 284 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:57,567 Go back and love him! 285 00:23:59,467 --> 00:24:02,900 So, we're gonna go to this hardware store. They sell toilets. 286 00:24:02,934 --> 00:24:06,166 And, uh, I'm gonna take a shit right in one of the toilets. 287 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,200 I'm gonna shit in my pants before we get to that fucking place. 288 00:24:09,767 --> 00:24:10,767 Dave, fight it, man. 289 00:24:11,967 --> 00:24:12,934 And I don't even want to make a joke about it right now 290 00:24:12,967 --> 00:24:14,667 'cause I just wanna hold it in. 291 00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:16,433 Gotta poo? Pretty much. 292 00:24:16,467 --> 00:24:17,633 Really? Yeah. 293 00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:19,867 Like, really bad. Don't... Do you want to ruin everything? 294 00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:21,242 I swear to God, it's... Really? Like, that bad? 295 00:24:21,266 --> 00:24:22,734 Yeah, like, it's a problem. 296 00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:24,834 Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom? 297 00:24:24,867 --> 00:24:27,734 No, no. I shit my pants at the fair. 298 00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,533 Oh, dude, he's shitting right now. 299 00:24:29,567 --> 00:24:32,834 Get out of the car! Oh, get out, dude, get out! 300 00:24:32,867 --> 00:24:34,567 No shit, get out of here! 301 00:24:35,734 --> 00:24:40,633 Come on, man, get out of the fucking car. Get out of the fucking car! 302 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,800 Oh! What do I do? 303 00:24:45,834 --> 00:24:46,967 Did you shit? 304 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,800 Did you do it? 305 00:24:48,834 --> 00:24:52,900 Holy shit! I'm taking a cab back to the hotel. 306 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,900 He just shat everywhere. 307 00:25:15,133 --> 00:25:16,734 What's wrong, man? 308 00:25:16,767 --> 00:25:18,467 I had to sit there while he shat. 309 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,000 I need to go home right now. 310 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:27,767 It's on my hand. Just let them see it. 311 00:25:59,734 --> 00:26:01,900 Is that a bolt? We have very... 312 00:26:01,934 --> 00:26:03,600 What the hell you doing? What was that? 313 00:26:03,633 --> 00:26:05,400 What are you doing? Oh, I'm sorry. 314 00:26:07,266 --> 00:26:08,867 I'm almost done. 315 00:26:09,533 --> 00:26:12,166 I hope you didn't take a shit in that, son of a bitch. 316 00:26:13,233 --> 00:26:15,913 You take a shit in that, they're gonna get you to clean it out, pal. 317 00:26:18,266 --> 00:26:20,533 That is disgusting, man. 318 00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:30,967 What a fucking Froot Loop. 319 00:26:34,834 --> 00:26:36,266 Want me to play it back? 320 00:26:45,333 --> 00:26:47,633 Hey! What the fuck? What the... 321 00:26:52,533 --> 00:26:54,166 Got him, dude. And there went his hair. 322 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,240 Turn around. Let's see it. 323 00:26:55,266 --> 00:26:56,667 That was so much. 324 00:27:04,967 --> 00:27:06,834 Oh, no! 325 00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:15,433 - Yeah. - Look at me. 326 00:27:16,533 --> 00:27:17,533 That's a good one. 327 00:27:17,567 --> 00:27:18,834 We're ready. 328 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,400 I'm Ehren McGhehey, and this is the Mousetrap. 329 00:27:25,834 --> 00:27:28,500 ♬ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♬ 330 00:27:28,533 --> 00:27:31,333 ♬ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♬ 331 00:27:31,367 --> 00:27:34,667 ♬ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♬ 332 00:27:39,967 --> 00:27:42,967 ♬ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♬ 333 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,033 ♬ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♬ 334 00:27:46,066 --> 00:27:48,500 ♬ You'll be the cat, I'll be the mouse ♬ 335 00:27:57,033 --> 00:27:58,700 All right! All right! All right! 336 00:28:01,767 --> 00:28:04,400 Come on! Come on. 337 00:28:05,133 --> 00:28:06,500 Okay, that's enough. 338 00:28:06,533 --> 00:28:10,133 That's enough! That's enough! I called it! Hey! Time! 339 00:28:15,333 --> 00:28:17,333 The Bungee Wedgie. 340 00:28:18,133 --> 00:28:22,333 Dude. This isn't gonna work. 341 00:28:23,333 --> 00:28:24,600 It might. 342 00:28:27,233 --> 00:28:28,767 What's... What's gonna happen here? 343 00:28:30,467 --> 00:28:33,400 I don't know, but it's not what's going to be intended. 344 00:28:33,867 --> 00:28:36,200 Raab's putting a fucking tampon on. 345 00:28:37,867 --> 00:28:40,066 That's like a Courtney Love-sized maxi pad. 346 00:28:40,867 --> 00:28:43,100 Dudes, this is, like, worse than a hanging. 347 00:28:44,533 --> 00:28:47,333 I'm Raab himself and I'm a complete fucking idiot. 348 00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:57,700 Oh, that's funny. It didn't work. 349 00:28:57,734 --> 00:28:58,967 Nope. 350 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,600 We gotta get another one, man. 351 00:29:00,633 --> 00:29:02,100 Let's do it again. 352 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,467 Hey, I'm Raab himself, and this is Bungee Wedgie. 353 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,900 Fuck! 354 00:29:24,066 --> 00:29:26,300 Is that your shitty ass, dude? 355 00:29:26,834 --> 00:29:29,333 Look at the bloody, shitty underpants. 356 00:29:29,367 --> 00:29:31,166 Didn't give me a wedgie. I went forward. 357 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:32,967 I can't believe it. 358 00:29:34,166 --> 00:29:35,834 That is so funny. 359 00:29:39,300 --> 00:29:41,200 All right, we're here in the valley today 360 00:29:41,233 --> 00:29:43,100 to do our own little riot-control test. 361 00:29:43,133 --> 00:29:44,500 This is George Hruska. 362 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,066 All right, George, uh, what do you do 363 00:29:46,100 --> 00:29:47,380 and what are we doing here today? 364 00:29:48,734 --> 00:29:51,254 Well, I'm Vice President of Operations with A.L.S. Technologies. 365 00:29:51,367 --> 00:29:53,367 We manufacture less-lethal ammunition. 366 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,533 We're one of the top manufacturing companies in the United States. 367 00:29:56,567 --> 00:30:00,000 And we're going to shoot you with one of our projectiles. 368 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:05,100 It's called the Pen-Prevent. It's a 40-gram, tail-stabilized bag. 369 00:30:06,433 --> 00:30:09,400 It'll be traveling about, uh, 250 feet per second. 370 00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:11,166 Is that lethal? 371 00:30:11,567 --> 00:30:13,300 I-It's considered less lethal. 372 00:30:15,166 --> 00:30:20,033 So, this morning I thought I was taking it in the chest with the beanbag projectile, 373 00:30:20,066 --> 00:30:21,767 but George and his company said, "No way." 374 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,166 'Cause if it hits me in the heart, 375 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,200 I'm pretty much done with, so, uh... 376 00:30:26,233 --> 00:30:28,667 We want to take every single precaution... Right. 377 00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:31,367 Necessary to help protect your vital organs. 378 00:30:31,567 --> 00:30:33,834 Where are my intestines? Are they in that area? 379 00:30:33,867 --> 00:30:35,667 I think so. Awesome. 380 00:30:40,533 --> 00:30:41,667 Ugh. 381 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,367 So are you gonna take some practice shots? 382 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,567 Pressure. 383 00:30:50,266 --> 00:30:51,533 Jesus Christ. 384 00:30:51,567 --> 00:30:52,834 Yeah. 385 00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:58,233 You know, this is nothing to mess around with. 386 00:30:58,266 --> 00:31:00,033 This is nothing for... for anybody 387 00:31:00,066 --> 00:31:01,934 to just throw into a 12-gauge shotgun 388 00:31:01,967 --> 00:31:04,667 and... and, uh, you know, think that they could take it. 389 00:31:05,066 --> 00:31:07,009 You know, that's one of the reasons I'm doing this 390 00:31:07,033 --> 00:31:09,800 is because I can do this in a controlled state. 391 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:22,867 Safety's off. 392 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,133 Going hot. 393 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,033 That really hurt. 394 00:31:53,066 --> 00:31:54,633 That looked like it hurt. 395 00:31:54,667 --> 00:31:56,367 Oh, fuck, dude. 396 00:31:57,367 --> 00:32:01,100 Did you see the way I caught that beanbag with my stomach? 397 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:02,867 That's instinct. 398 00:32:03,100 --> 00:32:04,633 You can't teach that. 399 00:32:06,333 --> 00:32:07,500 Ah! 400 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,900 It hurts so much. 401 00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:19,767 Like going from a prone position to standing is... 402 00:32:22,667 --> 00:32:23,667 Ouch. 403 00:32:25,734 --> 00:32:28,633 Hi. I'm Wee Man, and this is a big cone. 404 00:33:22,633 --> 00:33:24,500 Oh, my God, my brakes! 405 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,500 I can't... 406 00:33:26,533 --> 00:33:27,834 My brakes! 407 00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:30,133 My brakes! 408 00:33:30,166 --> 00:33:31,533 My brakes! 409 00:33:32,734 --> 00:33:34,967 Stop me! Stop me! 410 00:33:37,333 --> 00:33:38,567 Stop me! 411 00:33:40,367 --> 00:33:41,633 Oh! 412 00:33:42,367 --> 00:33:43,609 You all right? That was so fast! 413 00:33:43,633 --> 00:33:45,066 You all right? Yeah. 414 00:33:45,100 --> 00:33:46,900 You have... Did your brakes go out? 415 00:33:46,934 --> 00:33:48,667 Yeah. The whole thing doesn't work. 416 00:33:48,700 --> 00:33:50,000 Really? 417 00:33:50,033 --> 00:33:52,300 Will you push me to the top? I wanna do it again. 418 00:34:05,066 --> 00:34:07,400 I could sure go for a Miller High Life. 419 00:34:16,734 --> 00:34:18,800 Oh, you're in so much trouble. 420 00:34:30,100 --> 00:34:31,233 Kick her ass! 421 00:34:44,834 --> 00:34:47,100 I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl. 422 00:35:05,433 --> 00:35:07,367 Dude, I told you to keep up the left! 423 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:14,266 Hail to the queen! 424 00:35:34,967 --> 00:35:36,700 That's the winner. That's it. 425 00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:40,066 And the winner, and still champion... 426 00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:41,633 Now pronounce her name. 427 00:35:44,266 --> 00:35:45,667 Look at his bloody mouthpiece. 428 00:35:45,700 --> 00:35:49,200 Oh, God, my jaw is, like, two inches to the left. 429 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,166 I... I seriously felt all right for a little bit, 430 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:53,834 until she punched me in the nose. 431 00:35:53,867 --> 00:35:56,100 I knew she was fighting dirty. 432 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:04,867 Tropical Pole-Vaulting. 433 00:36:09,033 --> 00:36:10,367 Oh, Jesus! 434 00:36:20,867 --> 00:36:22,133 Go grab the dead kitty. 435 00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:25,033 Dude, I've fucking been in there before, dude. It sucks. 436 00:36:26,133 --> 00:36:29,333 ♬ When the days are short and the nights are long ♬ 437 00:36:30,934 --> 00:36:33,467 ♬ And I walk and they walk ♬ 438 00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:36,100 ♬ I twist and they twist ♬ 439 00:36:36,133 --> 00:36:38,633 ♬ And I shimmy and they shimmy ♬ 440 00:36:38,667 --> 00:36:41,233 ♬ And I fly and they fly ♬ 441 00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:43,900 ♬ Well, we're out there having fun ♬ 442 00:36:43,934 --> 00:36:45,834 ♬ In the warm California sun ♬ 443 00:36:47,266 --> 00:36:49,133 ♬ Where they're out there havin' fun ♬ 444 00:36:49,166 --> 00:36:51,367 ♬ In the warm California sun ♬ 445 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,133 ♬ Where they're out there havin' fun ♬ 446 00:36:54,166 --> 00:36:57,166 ♬ In the warm California sun ♬ 447 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,967 Yeah! Whoo! 448 00:37:08,033 --> 00:37:09,200 Oh, God! 449 00:37:30,567 --> 00:37:32,967 ♬ I've got your picture ♬ 450 00:37:33,166 --> 00:37:34,967 ♬ Of me and you ♬ 451 00:37:36,166 --> 00:37:37,800 ♬ You wrote I love you ♬ 452 00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:40,400 ♬ I love you too ♬ 453 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,300 ♬ I sit there staring and there's nothing else to do ♬ 454 00:37:44,333 --> 00:37:46,433 ♬ Oh, it's in color ♬ 455 00:37:46,967 --> 00:37:48,900 ♬ Your hair is brown ♬ 456 00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:51,367 ♬ Your eyes are hazel ♬ 457 00:37:52,300 --> 00:37:53,667 ♬ And soft as clouds ♬ 458 00:37:54,967 --> 00:37:57,867 ♬ I often kiss you when there's no one else around ♬ 459 00:38:01,867 --> 00:38:04,500 ♬ I've got your picture, I've got your picture ♬ 460 00:38:04,533 --> 00:38:07,200 ♬ I'd like a million of you over myself ♬ 461 00:38:07,233 --> 00:38:09,800 ♬ I want a doctor to take your picture ♬ 462 00:38:09,834 --> 00:38:12,233 ♬ So I can look at you from inside as well ♬ 463 00:38:12,266 --> 00:38:14,367 ♬ You got me turning up and turning down ♬ 464 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,840 ♬ I'm turning in, I'm turning round ♬ 465 00:38:15,867 --> 00:38:17,776 ♬ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♬ 466 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,100 ♬ I really think so ♬ 467 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,333 ♬ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♬ 468 00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:25,066 ♬ I really think so ♬ 469 00:38:36,133 --> 00:38:38,734 ♬ I've got your picture, I've got your picture ♬ 470 00:38:38,767 --> 00:38:41,300 ♬ I'd like a million of 'em over myself ♬ 471 00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:43,967 ♬ I want a doctor to take your picture ♬ 472 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,300 ♬ So I can look at you from inside as well ♬ 473 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,600 ♬ I'm turning up, I'm turning down ♬ 474 00:38:48,633 --> 00:38:50,073 ♬ I'm turning in, I'm turning round ♬ 475 00:38:50,100 --> 00:38:52,109 ♬ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♬ 476 00:38:52,133 --> 00:38:53,567 ♬ I really think so ♬ 477 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,467 ♬ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♬ 478 00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:59,100 ♬ I really think so ♬ 479 00:39:00,467 --> 00:39:02,900 ♬ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♬ 480 00:39:02,934 --> 00:39:04,600 ♬ I really think so ♬ 481 00:39:06,100 --> 00:39:08,266 ♬ I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese ♬ 482 00:39:08,300 --> 00:39:09,734 ♬ I really think so ♬ 483 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,834 Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, 484 00:39:16,867 --> 00:39:20,767 I promise I will get my mom to say "fuck" by the end of this movie. 485 00:39:24,734 --> 00:39:28,433 Hello. I'm Johnny Knoxville, and we're about to test my rocket skates. 486 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:32,934 Go! 487 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,533 All right, this is rocket skates, take two. 488 00:39:57,333 --> 00:39:59,910 This one's gonna be a little more powerful than the last one, so... 489 00:39:59,934 --> 00:40:01,800 Why, these are different bottle rockets? 490 00:40:01,834 --> 00:40:03,467 No, there's just more of them. 491 00:40:28,734 --> 00:40:30,633 Oh, fuck! What's wrong? 492 00:40:30,934 --> 00:40:34,367 I fell and busted my ass, that's what's fucking wrong. 493 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:41,166 That's it. No more rocket skates. 494 00:40:51,567 --> 00:40:54,000 ♬ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh ♬ 495 00:40:54,033 --> 00:40:56,333 ♬ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh ♬ 496 00:40:56,367 --> 00:40:58,467 ♬ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh ♬ 497 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:00,500 ♬ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh ♬ 498 00:41:41,567 --> 00:41:43,767 God, this party sucks! 499 00:41:47,867 --> 00:41:51,133 Hey, my man. Wasabi, lots. 500 00:41:51,367 --> 00:41:52,567 Wasabi. 501 00:41:53,834 --> 00:41:55,767 Yeah. 502 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,900 So today, I'm gonna treat myself to some wasabi snooters. 503 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:13,100 God, chopsticks are so stupid. 504 00:42:18,033 --> 00:42:19,593 That looks like a pretty good line, huh? 505 00:42:22,066 --> 00:42:23,367 Whoa! 506 00:42:29,233 --> 00:42:30,367 More. 507 00:42:32,367 --> 00:42:34,133 Do another snooter. 508 00:42:43,100 --> 00:42:44,867 I need a pick-me-up. 509 00:42:52,867 --> 00:42:54,800 Dude, on the plate. On the plate. 510 00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:10,934 Get him! 511 00:43:13,767 --> 00:43:15,266 Get back here! 512 00:43:15,967 --> 00:43:17,567 I said, "Get back here!" 513 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:21,567 Get... 514 00:43:39,333 --> 00:43:43,700 ♬ My transistor radio comes from far away ♬ 515 00:43:45,867 --> 00:43:47,600 ♬ And when it's night over here ♬ 516 00:43:53,767 --> 00:43:58,233 ♬ I remember all the good times I had a-walking in the sand ♬ 517 00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:03,276 ♬ With a beautiful girl that I met made in Japan ♬ 518 00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:04,934 This is bullshit, man! 519 00:44:14,533 --> 00:44:15,800 Ow! 520 00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:41,800 Phil? 521 00:44:42,100 --> 00:44:43,200 Phil? 522 00:44:44,133 --> 00:44:45,233 Phil? 523 00:44:46,166 --> 00:44:47,500 Hey, Phil! 524 00:44:53,333 --> 00:44:54,700 Oh, my God. 525 00:44:57,066 --> 00:44:58,633 Is this thing real? 526 00:44:58,667 --> 00:45:00,266 What thing? 527 00:45:00,633 --> 00:45:02,633 This alligator! 528 00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:04,033 What? 529 00:45:04,700 --> 00:45:06,667 Look, look, look! Look around the corner. 530 00:45:08,967 --> 00:45:11,967 What is that? Where have you been? 531 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,300 Don't you even look? 532 00:45:17,100 --> 00:45:19,834 Oh, my God! It's moving. Oh, Phil! 533 00:45:20,900 --> 00:45:23,000 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 534 00:45:23,433 --> 00:45:24,734 I don't know what to do now. 535 00:45:24,767 --> 00:45:26,433 Aren't you scared to death? 536 00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,834 Ooh, it's so gross that it's even on the floor. 537 00:45:33,633 --> 00:45:36,100 I'm going out! I'm leaving! Where's my keys? 538 00:45:36,767 --> 00:45:39,533 That is the scariest fucking thing I ever saw in my whole life! 539 00:45:39,567 --> 00:45:40,800 I'm leaving. 540 00:45:40,834 --> 00:45:42,209 Don't leave. Where the hell you going? 541 00:45:42,233 --> 00:45:43,867 I'm leaving. I swear to God! 542 00:45:43,900 --> 00:45:47,100 Phil, seriously, please. Help! Help me get this thing out of here! 543 00:45:47,133 --> 00:45:48,767 I'm scared to death! 544 00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:53,600 Oh, God! 545 00:45:58,333 --> 00:45:59,633 Oh, man. 546 00:45:59,667 --> 00:46:01,700 No! No! 547 00:46:01,734 --> 00:46:05,233 No, I'm not letting in the... No, no! God, where is it? 548 00:46:05,266 --> 00:46:07,834 Oh, please! You don't have it, do you? No, we don't have it. 549 00:46:07,867 --> 00:46:09,500 It's not there? 550 00:46:09,533 --> 00:46:11,533 Like, seriously, is that real? 551 00:46:11,567 --> 00:46:13,300 I'm serious. Is it real? 552 00:46:13,633 --> 00:46:15,367 Is it real? Is it real? 553 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,700 Yes. 554 00:46:16,734 --> 00:46:18,700 I'm serious, get everybody out! 555 00:46:27,133 --> 00:46:30,066 Dude, dude. Wait. Stop! Chill, dude. 556 00:46:31,133 --> 00:46:33,433 Whiz kid kicked your ass, dude. 557 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:35,767 I didn't even get you. 558 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,500 You got beat up by Wee Man. 559 00:46:37,734 --> 00:46:39,767 Dude. Let me see. 560 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:41,200 He didn't even get you. 561 00:46:41,233 --> 00:46:43,266 Where? I didn't even... He didn't even get you. 562 00:46:45,767 --> 00:46:47,533 Let me see the back of your head. 563 00:46:48,734 --> 00:46:49,900 Oh, dude. 564 00:46:49,934 --> 00:46:51,266 It'll be all right. 565 00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:55,233 I'm here with Eric Koston and Clyde Singleton, 566 00:46:55,266 --> 00:46:58,734 and today I'm gonna 50-50 this rail, and... 567 00:46:59,033 --> 00:47:00,233 Or try to. 568 00:47:00,266 --> 00:47:01,433 So, this thing's long. 569 00:47:01,467 --> 00:47:03,800 Yeah, thanks. Thanks for reminding me. 570 00:47:05,433 --> 00:47:06,800 You got it. 571 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,233 I got it. I got this. 572 00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:16,100 - Dude, is he gonna go? - Yeah. 573 00:47:16,133 --> 00:47:18,533 Is he gonna go? He's gonna go somewhere. 574 00:47:19,700 --> 00:47:21,700 He's going. He's going, yeah. 575 00:47:22,467 --> 00:47:25,300 My impression of Johnny Knoxville. Something like this. 576 00:47:27,867 --> 00:47:29,133 "Oh, my face!" 577 00:47:30,066 --> 00:47:33,367 I'm Johnny Knoxville and I'm gonna grind this rail. 578 00:47:36,133 --> 00:47:37,667 Ready, set, go! 579 00:47:45,233 --> 00:47:49,133 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 580 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:51,266 He made it all the way down. 581 00:47:51,300 --> 00:47:52,767 I can't believe he got that far. 582 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,109 You made it to the fucking bottom! 583 00:47:54,133 --> 00:47:55,533 I can't believe he got that far. 584 00:47:55,567 --> 00:47:57,400 I can't believe... I can't 585 00:48:19,633 --> 00:48:20,967 This is the Paper Cuts. 586 00:48:21,233 --> 00:48:23,834 I'm getting paper cuts between the webbings of my fingers 587 00:48:23,867 --> 00:48:25,633 and the webbings of my toes. Hold it still. 588 00:48:25,667 --> 00:48:26,834 There's no good way to do it. 589 00:48:28,133 --> 00:48:30,493 Yeah, I know. So just deal with it. Take a... Take a breath. 590 00:48:39,066 --> 00:48:40,900 Oh, you can feel when it goes in. 591 00:48:40,934 --> 00:48:43,700 Oh, give me... This one works good, give me the next one. 592 00:48:43,900 --> 00:48:45,367 Do it. Do it. 593 00:48:50,467 --> 00:48:52,166 Oh, yeah, opened up with a good one. 594 00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:53,900 Did you hear that? 595 00:48:53,934 --> 00:48:56,734 Oh, that was my flesh! Oh, shit. 596 00:48:56,767 --> 00:48:59,167 If I do your hand, you'll forget about the pain in your foot. 597 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:01,233 That's a good point. 598 00:49:01,266 --> 00:49:02,600 Take a deep breath. 599 00:49:11,033 --> 00:49:13,266 Lance is trying... Are you gonna puke? 600 00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:14,943 Don't, Lance, there's so many places for you to 601 00:49:14,967 --> 00:49:16,509 Watch Lance pass out. Lance is gonna puke! 602 00:49:16,533 --> 00:49:18,900 From what, the pepperoni or the paper cuts? 603 00:49:18,934 --> 00:49:20,066 Both? 604 00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:21,633 The pepperoni. 605 00:49:23,033 --> 00:49:25,033 It's good! With pig entrails. 606 00:49:33,900 --> 00:49:35,533 Is he okay? I don't know. 607 00:49:35,567 --> 00:49:37,509 - Wait, is he all right? - Lance, are you all right? 608 00:49:37,533 --> 00:49:39,433 Medic! Hey, don't knock over the beer. 609 00:49:39,467 --> 00:49:40,800 Dude, are you okay? 610 00:49:40,834 --> 00:49:42,133 Yeah, I'm fine. 611 00:49:42,367 --> 00:49:43,667 And get him in a cold room. 612 00:49:43,700 --> 00:49:45,333 This is the greatest bit ever. 613 00:49:45,967 --> 00:49:48,200 Steve-O, if you want to do some more, do it. I'm done. 614 00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:52,266 Is everybody ready? Yeah. 615 00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:53,767 See the look on his face? 616 00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:57,633 Do one more. Do it again. 617 00:49:57,667 --> 00:49:58,934 That sucked. 618 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,133 God, am I glad I came down to see what was going on in this room. 619 00:50:13,467 --> 00:50:15,400 Mmm-hmm. 620 00:50:18,633 --> 00:50:20,066 Wait a minute. 621 00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:22,734 I know what my fortune is. It's partying. 622 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,367 This is Sweaty Fat Fucks. 623 00:50:50,567 --> 00:50:53,133 ♬ I like big butts and I cannot lie ♬ 624 00:50:53,166 --> 00:50:55,033 ♬ You other brothers can't deny ♬ 625 00:50:55,066 --> 00:50:57,233 ♬ That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist ♬ 626 00:50:57,266 --> 00:50:59,600 ♬ And a round thing in your face you get sprung ♬ 627 00:50:59,633 --> 00:51:02,834 ♬ wanna pull up front, cuz I notice that butt was stuffed ♬ 628 00:51:02,867 --> 00:51:04,600 ♬ Deep in the jeans she's wearin' ♬ 629 00:51:04,633 --> 00:51:07,400 ♬ I'm hooked and I can't stop starin', oh, baby ♬ 630 00:51:07,433 --> 00:51:10,233 ♬ I wanna get wit ya and take your picture ♬ 631 00:51:10,266 --> 00:51:11,900 ♬ My homeboys tried to warn me ♬ 632 00:51:11,934 --> 00:51:14,200 ♬ But that butt you got makes me so horny ♬ 633 00:51:14,233 --> 00:51:15,900 ♬ Ooh, rump of smooth skin ♬ 634 00:51:15,934 --> 00:51:17,700 ♬ You say you wanna get in my Benz ♬ 635 00:51:17,734 --> 00:51:19,500 ♬ Well, use me, use me ♬ 636 00:51:19,533 --> 00:51:21,053 ♬ 'Cuz you ain't that average groupie ♬ 637 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,166 ♬ I want 'em real thick and juicy ♬ 638 00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:26,000 ♬ So find that juicy double ♬ 639 00:51:26,033 --> 00:51:28,800 ♬ Mix-A-Lot's in trouble, beggin' for a piece of that bubble ♬ 640 00:51:28,834 --> 00:51:30,934 ♬ So I'm lookin' at rock videos ♬ 641 00:51:30,967 --> 00:51:32,800 ♬ Knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hos ♬ 642 00:51:32,834 --> 00:51:34,500 ♬ You can have them bimbos ♬ 643 00:51:34,533 --> 00:51:36,266 ♬ I'll keep my women like Flo Jo ♬ 644 00:51:36,300 --> 00:51:38,200 ♬ So your girlfriend rolls a Honda ♬ 645 00:51:38,233 --> 00:51:40,066 ♬ Playin' workout tapes by Fonda ♬ 646 00:51:40,100 --> 00:51:42,800 ♬ But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda ♬ 647 00:51:42,834 --> 00:51:47,333 ♬ My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon ♬ 648 00:51:47,367 --> 00:51:49,033 ♬ You can do side bends or sit-ups ♬ 649 00:51:49,066 --> 00:51:51,200 ♬ But please don't lose that butt ♬ 650 00:51:51,233 --> 00:51:53,266 ♬ Some brothers wanna play that hard role ♬ 651 00:51:53,300 --> 00:51:54,876 ♬ And tell you that the butt ain't gold ♬ 652 00:51:54,900 --> 00:51:57,033 ♬ So they toss it and leave it ♬ 653 00:51:57,066 --> 00:51:58,667 ♬ And I pull up quick to retrieve it ♬ 654 00:51:58,700 --> 00:52:00,700 ♬ So, ladies, if the butt is round ♬ 655 00:52:00,734 --> 00:52:02,533 ♬ And you want a triple-x throw down ♬ 656 00:52:02,567 --> 00:52:05,934 ♬ Dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT, and kick them nasty thoughts ♬ 657 00:52:05,967 --> 00:52:07,400 ♬ Baby got back ♬ 658 00:52:13,033 --> 00:52:14,834 ♬ Baby got back ♬ 659 00:52:22,734 --> 00:52:25,100 Oh, honey, it's been a while. 660 00:52:25,133 --> 00:52:26,300 It's a little too much. 661 00:52:26,333 --> 00:52:27,433 No, I... 662 00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,033 Irving, you think you can do it? 663 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,700 Do you want a spot? No, I got it. No, I got it. 664 00:52:36,734 --> 00:52:38,133 You got it? Yeah, yeah. 665 00:52:38,166 --> 00:52:39,966 If you need a spot, just give me a call. Okay. 666 00:52:52,166 --> 00:52:55,000 What's the quickest you ever knocked anyone out? 667 00:52:55,033 --> 00:52:56,800 I hold the California state record. 668 00:52:56,834 --> 00:52:59,533 It's like 18 seconds, including the 10 count. 669 00:53:00,900 --> 00:53:02,033 ♬ I took it to the jaw ♬ 670 00:53:02,266 --> 00:53:04,800 ♬ One, two, three, there was never a doubt ♬ 671 00:53:04,834 --> 00:53:07,300 ♬ We want fun, and you better believe it ♬ 672 00:53:07,333 --> 00:53:09,934 ♬ We want fun, yeah, you better believe it ♬ 673 00:53:09,967 --> 00:53:12,367 ♬ We want fun, no, you don't understand ♬ 674 00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:15,166 ♬ Fun, fun, fun, fun, make your demands ♬ 675 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,433 ♬ We want fun and you might as well face it ♬ 676 00:53:17,467 --> 00:53:20,400 ♬ We want fun and we want to get wasted! ♬ 677 00:53:20,433 --> 00:53:22,233 I think you're gonna break that today. 678 00:53:23,100 --> 00:53:24,400 I'm Johnny Knoxville. 679 00:53:24,433 --> 00:53:25,734 And I'm Butterbean. 680 00:53:25,767 --> 00:53:27,700 Today we're gonna do a little boxing. 681 00:53:43,700 --> 00:53:45,900 All right, you guys. Touch gloves and come out fighting. 682 00:54:01,467 --> 00:54:03,667 Get up! Come on, Butter. 683 00:54:03,700 --> 00:54:05,300 One more time. 684 00:54:06,166 --> 00:54:07,967 This is the last time you're kicking my ass. 685 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,567 One more time. More pain. That's it. 686 00:54:14,133 --> 00:54:15,643 You haven't even... Hit me once, at least. 687 00:54:15,667 --> 00:54:17,166 There you go. 688 00:54:19,233 --> 00:54:20,400 That's it. 689 00:54:23,700 --> 00:54:24,834 Is there a problem? 690 00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:30,500 He's out. 691 00:54:40,734 --> 00:54:42,266 Is Butterbean okay? 692 00:54:47,667 --> 00:54:49,133 Look at this. 693 00:54:52,834 --> 00:54:56,333 And by knockout in the first round, new champion, Butterbean! 694 00:54:56,367 --> 00:54:57,867 Whoo! Yeah! 695 00:54:58,767 --> 00:55:00,900 Where we going, Knoxville? 696 00:55:00,934 --> 00:55:02,600 The hospital. 697 00:55:03,233 --> 00:55:04,609 What the hell are we doing that for? 698 00:55:04,633 --> 00:55:06,967 I don't know. Apparently I have a big gash in my head, 699 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,767 and I think I'm a little concussed. 700 00:55:10,467 --> 00:55:12,000 Are you giving me a shot? 701 00:55:12,033 --> 00:55:13,166 Yeah. 702 00:55:14,266 --> 00:55:15,667 Are you okay? Mmm-hmm. 703 00:55:15,700 --> 00:55:18,200 We got one more to go, buddy. Yes, sir. 704 00:55:18,233 --> 00:55:19,567 Then you're a free man. 705 00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:20,867 Thank you. 706 00:55:21,066 --> 00:55:24,767 You're gonna be not feeling great the next 24 hours. 707 00:55:25,033 --> 00:55:26,333 Thank you, Dr. Kipper. Okay. 708 00:55:27,834 --> 00:55:30,714 You'll probably see me in two to three days. See you in a couple of days. 709 00:55:36,567 --> 00:55:38,433 Hey! Hey! Hey! 710 00:55:41,233 --> 00:55:44,467 God damn it! What are you doing? Hey! Get off, man! 711 00:55:44,500 --> 00:55:45,934 What's going on here? 712 00:55:45,967 --> 00:55:47,767 Get off! Get off! 713 00:56:01,100 --> 00:56:04,166 We're in Okinawa and we're about to go swim with some whale sharks. 714 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:08,266 But first, we need to go rub one out. 715 00:56:13,100 --> 00:56:16,767 Well, I made the mistake of showing them 716 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,533 what sea cucumbers do when they're threatened. 717 00:56:19,567 --> 00:56:22,700 And that is, you know, as soon as something touches them, 718 00:56:23,100 --> 00:56:26,600 these white threads come out of the end of it, 719 00:56:27,133 --> 00:56:31,233 and Steve-O and Chris thought it was a great idea. 720 00:56:31,266 --> 00:56:33,233 So, they're out there trying to, uh... 721 00:56:33,266 --> 00:56:34,834 Masturbate? Masturbate. Yeah. 722 00:56:34,867 --> 00:56:37,066 So, anyway, I... I apologize. 723 00:56:42,934 --> 00:56:44,800 This is the Whale Shark Gummer. 724 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,834 With a simple shave of the razor, 725 00:56:48,867 --> 00:56:51,233 Steve-O easily disguises himself 726 00:56:51,266 --> 00:56:54,367 to fool the whale sharks into thinking he's a harmless young boy. 727 00:56:56,266 --> 00:56:57,900 I am pretty nervous about my wiener 728 00:56:57,934 --> 00:56:59,533 around that whale shark. I really am. 729 00:56:59,567 --> 00:57:01,276 Now, the best way to think of the whale sharks 730 00:57:01,300 --> 00:57:02,934 is they're like big puppy dogs. 731 00:57:03,633 --> 00:57:05,633 Uh, sometimes puppies bite. 732 00:57:06,100 --> 00:57:07,376 Yeah, but they have little teeth. 733 00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:08,876 Puppies, they have little teeth. Little teeth. 734 00:57:08,900 --> 00:57:10,433 You're gonna get a gummer. 735 00:57:10,900 --> 00:57:13,934 All right. So, it's kind of like being with a gal with no teeth. 736 00:57:13,967 --> 00:57:15,233 Kind of, yes. Yeah. 737 00:57:15,934 --> 00:57:17,667 So right below in these waters, 738 00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:20,233 30-foot whale sharks are waiting to eat 739 00:57:20,266 --> 00:57:22,200 these freaking shrimp out of our crotches. 740 00:57:22,233 --> 00:57:23,233 Okay. 741 00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,600 Oh, they're kind of... They pinch. 742 00:57:32,633 --> 00:57:33,967 Are these alive? 743 00:57:36,734 --> 00:57:38,009 They don't feel good on the way... 744 00:57:38,033 --> 00:57:39,300 You're part of this, man. 745 00:57:40,900 --> 00:57:42,367 Look at this shrimp. 746 00:57:48,300 --> 00:57:50,200 I guess I don't really have any last words. 747 00:57:50,233 --> 00:57:52,266 I'm just gonna kill myself once I lose my wiener. 748 00:57:53,967 --> 00:57:55,667 ♬ Come on, baby ♬ 749 00:57:55,700 --> 00:57:57,734 ♬ Let's do the twist ♬ 750 00:57:59,834 --> 00:58:02,300 ♬ Come on, baby ♬ 751 00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,200 ♬ Let's do the twist ♬ 752 00:58:07,333 --> 00:58:09,300 ♬ You look fine, yeah ♬ 753 00:58:10,033 --> 00:58:12,500 ♬ When you go like this ♬ 754 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:16,533 ♬ Tell me, baby ♬ 755 00:58:17,667 --> 00:58:20,066 ♬ Have you seen my sis? ♬ 756 00:58:21,734 --> 00:58:24,266 ♬ Tell me, baby ♬ 757 00:58:24,834 --> 00:58:27,133 ♬ Have you seen my sis? ♬ 758 00:58:28,567 --> 00:58:30,433 ♬ She knows how to rock ♬ 759 00:58:31,900 --> 00:58:33,834 ♬ And do the cha-cha twist ♬ 760 00:58:33,867 --> 00:58:35,100 ♬ Uh-huh ♬ 761 00:58:35,133 --> 00:58:38,333 ♬ Yeah, cha-cha-cha ♬ 762 00:58:39,133 --> 00:58:42,333 ♬ Whoa, baby, cha-cha-cha ♬ 763 00:58:43,867 --> 00:58:46,333 My penis is really small now. 764 00:58:48,533 --> 00:58:50,400 I can't really look cool right now. 765 00:58:58,233 --> 00:59:00,700 Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville. This is the Tidal Wave. 766 00:59:12,533 --> 00:59:13,567 How'd it look? 767 00:59:13,600 --> 00:59:14,700 It looked good. 768 00:59:18,967 --> 00:59:21,467 You just got drenched. 769 00:59:26,266 --> 00:59:28,633 I don't even, like, pick a tattoo, like, 770 00:59:28,667 --> 00:59:32,333 unless I'm pretty sure that people are gonna laugh every time they see it. 771 00:59:33,667 --> 00:59:34,967 Oh, my God, dude. 772 00:59:44,033 --> 00:59:48,066 Like, how do you perform the fucking world's dumbest tattoo? 773 00:59:49,767 --> 00:59:52,500 Fuck, man. At least I don't have to look at it, right? 774 00:59:57,967 --> 01:00:02,533 My name is Henry Rollins and this is Off-Road Tattoo. 775 01:00:07,567 --> 01:00:09,133 Yeah! 776 01:00:10,433 --> 01:00:13,066 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 777 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,433 This was designed to fuck you up! 778 01:00:36,834 --> 01:00:38,633 You Christian motherfucker! 779 01:00:48,066 --> 01:00:49,400 Ah! 780 01:00:53,166 --> 01:00:55,100 It's a total smiley face, dude. 781 01:01:22,100 --> 01:01:25,033 I just fully got a haircut just, like, a week ago. 782 01:01:25,066 --> 01:01:26,667 You're about to get many more. 783 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,867 Yeah, me, too. I am not doing it. 784 01:01:41,633 --> 01:01:43,133 Look at Ehren. 785 01:01:46,734 --> 01:01:48,000 Oh, shit! 786 01:01:50,367 --> 01:01:53,066 So, we're finding it a little bit chilly in Japan. 787 01:01:53,100 --> 01:01:55,734 We're gonna warm ourselves up with some fireworks. 788 01:02:00,367 --> 01:02:01,767 Let's go, dude. 789 01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,900 Roll back there, just a bit. 790 01:02:03,934 --> 01:02:06,800 Oh, no! This is a bad angle. Switch. 791 01:02:07,100 --> 01:02:08,867 Oh, no, no, no. 792 01:02:10,667 --> 01:02:12,033 Let's see. 793 01:02:12,433 --> 01:02:13,533 Ow! 794 01:02:21,166 --> 01:02:23,633 Like, an ember fell right in my corn hole, dude. 795 01:02:25,133 --> 01:02:26,934 Double knot it but gently. 796 01:02:46,867 --> 01:02:49,033 You may think this next stunt is impossible. 797 01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,400 You gotta squat a little, Pontius. 798 01:02:54,734 --> 01:02:56,867 Every time! 799 01:02:56,900 --> 01:02:58,433 Is Chris' dick shorter or... 800 01:02:58,467 --> 01:03:00,000 Yeah, it's a little shorter. 801 01:03:06,367 --> 01:03:08,133 Keep it in! Hold it! 802 01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:10,066 Stick 803 01:03:14,133 --> 01:03:16,233 It almost hit Loomis in the face. 804 01:03:27,066 --> 01:03:29,800 God damn, this is the BMX Tug-of-War. 805 01:03:31,333 --> 01:03:33,200 ♬ Let's get fucked up ♬ Fuck! 806 01:03:34,867 --> 01:03:36,500 ♬ Let's get fucked up ♬ 807 01:03:35,019 --> 01:03:36,949 ♬ ...Let's get fucked up... 808 01:03:37,019 --> 01:03:38,049 ♬ Mother! 809 01:03:40,090 --> 01:03:42,750 ♬ ...Let's get fucked up... What a dumb-ass idea. 810 01:03:45,100 --> 01:03:46,930 ♬ ...Let's get fucked up... 811 01:03:46,997 --> 01:03:48,934 I'm surrounded by cacti. 812 01:03:49,767 --> 01:03:51,767 - For fuck's sake. - Dude, it's a cactus. 813 01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:53,166 It's cacti! 814 01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:54,600 It's cactus. 815 01:03:54,633 --> 01:03:56,500 Whatever it is, it hurts. 816 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:16,734 You wanna get up and cross? 817 01:04:28,333 --> 01:04:29,934 This is the Yellow Snow Cone. 818 01:04:31,834 --> 01:04:33,533 Pack it in there nice and tight. 819 01:04:40,066 --> 01:04:43,033 Little cold out here. It might take a second. Oh! There we go. 820 01:04:47,900 --> 01:04:50,667 I'm not even worried about the pee, I'm just worried about it 821 01:04:50,700 --> 01:04:52,142 Come on, you're missing the cone, dude! 822 01:04:52,166 --> 01:04:54,633 I'm sorry. You're missing the cone! 823 01:04:57,967 --> 01:04:59,500 You better eat that whole thing, too. 824 01:04:59,533 --> 01:05:01,300 You gotta go eat that spot, too. 825 01:05:01,333 --> 01:05:02,867 The male bonding... 826 01:05:04,233 --> 01:05:06,000 Enjoy the snow cone. 827 01:05:07,066 --> 01:05:09,200 Oh, you just wasted a whole bunch! 828 01:05:09,633 --> 01:05:12,567 Just get that whole mouthful, right there. Keep going. 829 01:05:14,567 --> 01:05:15,900 Keep going! Eat it! 830 01:05:15,934 --> 01:05:17,176 Come on, it's your pee. Dude, swallow it! 831 01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:18,433 Oh, come on. 832 01:05:18,467 --> 01:05:20,000 Hey, I'm trying. It's so cold. 833 01:05:20,033 --> 01:05:21,600 Swallow it! Swallow it! 834 01:05:22,567 --> 01:05:23,900 Oh, God. 835 01:05:23,934 --> 01:05:25,233 Eat it! Eat it! 836 01:05:25,266 --> 01:05:26,767 Swallow it, man! Don't... No, no. 837 01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,000 Oh, no. Oh, no puking. 838 01:05:28,033 --> 01:05:29,233 I'm doing it! 839 01:05:29,266 --> 01:05:30,467 Don't look at it. 840 01:05:33,567 --> 01:05:34,943 Dude, it's dripping out of the bottom. 841 01:05:34,967 --> 01:05:37,007 Will you catch that, what's dripping out the bottom? 842 01:05:41,500 --> 01:05:43,166 Oh, my God! 843 01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,100 Oh, my God! 844 01:05:54,100 --> 01:05:55,367 That sucked. 845 01:05:57,600 --> 01:05:59,033 Kick yourself in the head, Wee Man. 846 01:05:59,066 --> 01:06:01,200 This guy. He'll do anything just to look better. 847 01:06:56,100 --> 01:06:59,433 No, get away. Now what is? 848 01:06:59,667 --> 01:07:03,133 Are you starting to lose your mind on that shit? Bam, stop it! 849 01:07:03,533 --> 01:07:05,734 Now, you're getting crazy on this shit. 850 01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:09,233 Ape! 851 01:07:10,166 --> 01:07:11,867 He's starting to lose it! 852 01:07:13,100 --> 01:07:14,967 Jesus Christ! 853 01:07:17,133 --> 01:07:19,133 Ape, I need toilet paper! 854 01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:22,767 Okay, this is called the Golf Course Airhorn. 855 01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:26,567 When people tee off, when they're coming down with their, uh, swing, 856 01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:28,500 we're gonna blow these airhorns. 857 01:07:45,767 --> 01:07:47,967 - Here she goes again. - No. Is it another one? 858 01:07:49,500 --> 01:07:51,467 She still hit it really good. 859 01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,233 Holy shit. 860 01:08:18,967 --> 01:08:21,266 What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you? 861 01:08:21,300 --> 01:08:23,467 Here, you've lost your club. Sorry. 862 01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:26,367 Didn't I tell you I was gonna come over here and kick your ass for that? 863 01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:28,767 What? I'm sorry. I got bursitis. 864 01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:30,633 You got bursitis? Yeah. 865 01:08:30,834 --> 01:08:32,934 So, that means you gotta play with a horn? It helps. 866 01:08:32,967 --> 01:08:34,700 I'll give you something to play with, pal. 867 01:08:34,967 --> 01:08:36,633 Sorry. It won't happen again. 868 01:08:53,467 --> 01:08:55,367 - Oh, fuck! - Shit. He's teeing off! 869 01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:57,100 Get down! Get down! Oh, shit! 870 01:09:03,333 --> 01:09:04,767 Get back. Get down, get down. 871 01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:06,100 Watch this! Wait. Wait. 872 01:09:06,133 --> 01:09:07,333 Get down, Dimitry. 873 01:09:22,767 --> 01:09:24,667 Oh, these things are scary. 874 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,233 I'm Bam Margera. I'm Johnny Knoxville. 875 01:09:30,266 --> 01:09:32,200 And we're gonna be burglars today. 876 01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:43,166 Oh, God! 877 01:09:43,834 --> 01:09:45,166 Fuck! Get the diamonds! 878 01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:47,867 Dude, I told you not to fall off the damn beam. 879 01:09:47,900 --> 01:09:49,467 Turn around! Turn around! 880 01:09:49,500 --> 01:09:50,600 Fuck! 881 01:09:54,734 --> 01:09:56,400 Oh, holy fuck! 882 01:09:58,467 --> 01:10:00,066 Idiot! What the fuck is that? 883 01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:03,800 Go! 884 01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:06,033 Holy fuck! 885 01:10:10,734 --> 01:10:13,066 You all right? You okay? 886 01:10:13,100 --> 01:10:14,533 I'm good. I'm good. 887 01:10:15,266 --> 01:10:17,506 What'd you think happened right there? It's embarrassing. 888 01:10:17,533 --> 01:10:19,433 I was barely halfway through the ceiling, 889 01:10:19,467 --> 01:10:20,967 and you were already out the door. 890 01:10:22,500 --> 01:10:24,066 You were really sprinting. 891 01:10:25,066 --> 01:10:27,200 Really, guys in masks, I'm out. 892 01:10:27,233 --> 01:10:29,767 I don't play. I don't play. 893 01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:36,500 Is there any actual, like, real reason 894 01:10:36,533 --> 01:10:38,967 why anyone would shove something up their ass like this? 895 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,367 No. I'm claiming predictions for this event. 896 01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:43,567 Where's Ryan? Did you make them? 897 01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:45,367 Number one, it's not getting in there. 898 01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:48,000 Number two, even if it does, it's not staying in there. 899 01:10:48,033 --> 01:10:49,834 Definitely no sitting down happening. 900 01:10:49,867 --> 01:10:53,567 Number three, there's no way they're gonna believe that this is true. 901 01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:55,600 So, you're saying it's... 902 01:10:55,834 --> 01:10:59,934 I'm saying there's nothing I want more than for this to happen, but... 903 01:10:59,967 --> 01:11:01,633 You don't want it to happen that much. 904 01:11:01,834 --> 01:11:05,166 No, I really do. This is our original talent for this piece, by the way. 905 01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:06,633 Yeah. I think that... 906 01:11:06,967 --> 01:11:09,343 It's one of the first things I think I've ever seen you duck out on. 907 01:11:09,367 --> 01:11:12,000 Oh, man, I am so glad I turned this idea down. 908 01:11:12,033 --> 01:11:13,800 I'm so glad. 909 01:11:16,633 --> 01:11:19,400 I'll probably use all of this before the end of the segment. 910 01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:23,834 Uh, what else we got? 911 01:11:24,066 --> 01:11:25,967 A condom. Thank you. 912 01:11:27,367 --> 01:11:30,400 And, um, a little toy car. 913 01:11:30,734 --> 01:11:32,367 Blue, it's my favorite color. 914 01:11:34,734 --> 01:11:36,133 Let me see that. Dangle it. 915 01:11:39,100 --> 01:11:40,767 Look at the reservoir tip. 916 01:11:42,233 --> 01:11:43,900 Now I'm lubing up... 917 01:11:43,934 --> 01:11:45,400 I can't see the car, Ryan. 918 01:11:45,633 --> 01:11:49,333 The little toy car, because I'm going to put it in my butt. 919 01:11:54,166 --> 01:11:55,700 Be comfortable. 920 01:11:56,767 --> 01:11:58,567 Hey, Ed's here for rescuing, dude. 921 01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:00,767 You're here for making it a problem. 922 01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:03,109 All right, you're gonna watch this? 923 01:12:03,133 --> 01:12:04,934 You're making me uncomfortable. Sorry. 924 01:12:04,967 --> 01:12:06,867 I gotta get another job. 925 01:12:06,900 --> 01:12:08,200 Lube up your corn hole. 926 01:12:08,233 --> 01:12:09,700 I am. I'm spackling. 927 01:12:10,734 --> 01:12:12,300 "Spackling." 928 01:12:12,333 --> 01:12:13,834 Heart rate's going up for sure! 929 01:12:13,867 --> 01:12:14,967 Oh, dude, it hurts. 930 01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:16,600 Your adrenaline's flowing, isn't it? 931 01:12:16,633 --> 01:12:19,300 There's no getting around it, it fucking hurts like hell. 932 01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:20,667 Come on in, Manny. 933 01:12:20,700 --> 01:12:22,367 You're just in time, Manny. 934 01:12:22,400 --> 01:12:25,433 Oh, Manny. Tell me I'm a man. 935 01:12:26,934 --> 01:12:28,200 Hey, man, he's got it... 936 01:12:28,233 --> 01:12:30,033 It feels so goddamn gross. 937 01:12:33,166 --> 01:12:35,400 This is totally insane. 938 01:12:35,433 --> 01:12:36,433 It's in, dude. 939 01:12:37,433 --> 01:12:38,600 It's in? Yeah. 940 01:12:38,633 --> 01:12:40,166 Let's see. Oh, fuck! 941 01:12:40,734 --> 01:12:43,333 I feel like I have to shit my ass. 942 01:12:43,367 --> 01:12:45,100 Is there anything in tap? 943 01:12:48,867 --> 01:12:50,900 You said that you didn't want to do it 944 01:12:50,934 --> 01:12:53,100 because your dad would disown you? 945 01:12:53,133 --> 01:12:54,533 Well, I mean, it wasn't that. 946 01:12:54,567 --> 01:12:57,066 You drank wine off of a dude's ass crack. 947 01:12:57,100 --> 01:13:01,133 My dad never saw that. I never told him that, you know. 948 01:13:01,567 --> 01:13:03,667 I was gonna do this and I was like, "Dad" 949 01:13:03,700 --> 01:13:06,934 I was like, "Dad, we're going hard these days, 950 01:13:06,967 --> 01:13:09,300 "and there's some ideas floating around." 951 01:13:09,333 --> 01:13:11,500 I just mentioned the... the car in the butt. 952 01:13:11,533 --> 01:13:15,166 My dad, like... The only time in my life I ever heard my dad, like... 953 01:13:15,433 --> 01:13:16,910 You know, it's like when your parents say, 954 01:13:16,934 --> 01:13:20,233 "I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed," you know. 955 01:13:20,266 --> 01:13:23,033 Like, that hurts so much more, you know? 956 01:13:23,633 --> 01:13:25,033 Fucking rad. 957 01:13:26,533 --> 01:13:27,767 Look at him walk. 958 01:13:27,800 --> 01:13:29,700 Dunn's gonna win, dude. 959 01:13:30,233 --> 01:13:31,700 I'm not too excited about this skit. 960 01:13:31,734 --> 01:13:33,109 It's not my favorite I've ever done, 961 01:13:33,133 --> 01:13:34,734 because there's a toy car in my butt. 962 01:13:34,934 --> 01:13:37,066 But this is the Butt X-ray. 963 01:13:43,734 --> 01:13:45,133 I think I need an x-ray. 964 01:13:45,900 --> 01:13:47,500 Antoine? Yes? 965 01:13:48,867 --> 01:13:50,767 How you doing? Pretty good. 966 01:13:52,133 --> 01:13:54,400 I'm Ryan, and this is... What can I do for you? 967 01:13:54,433 --> 01:13:56,633 I was partying last night with some frat guys. 968 01:13:56,667 --> 01:13:59,533 I passed out. I must've fallen down and broken something, 969 01:13:59,567 --> 01:14:02,133 'cause I haven't been able to walk right since. 970 01:14:02,166 --> 01:14:04,700 We're gonna take x-ray now, to be sure. Okay. 971 01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:06,367 Take a... 972 01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:07,867 Oh, okay. 973 01:14:09,967 --> 01:14:11,166 This is comfy. 974 01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:13,033 Hold your breath. Don't move. 975 01:14:53,066 --> 01:14:54,500 What is that? 976 01:14:54,533 --> 01:14:55,934 I have no idea. 977 01:14:55,967 --> 01:14:59,233 That's not part of you. That's something extra. 978 01:14:59,467 --> 01:15:01,300 I would've known if I ate that. 979 01:15:01,667 --> 01:15:04,400 No. You... you wouldn't be able to swallow that. 980 01:15:04,767 --> 01:15:06,300 That is a car toy. 981 01:15:06,333 --> 01:15:08,100 Well, how did a car toy get there? 982 01:15:08,333 --> 01:15:10,066 Maybe you stuck it up your ass. 983 01:15:10,100 --> 01:15:11,800 I didn't stick anything up my ass. 984 01:15:11,834 --> 01:15:13,967 Have you ever seen anything like that? 985 01:15:14,367 --> 01:15:16,166 No, I never seen that in there. 986 01:15:17,166 --> 01:15:21,600 I've seen a toy car all over, but, no, never in somebody's rectum. 987 01:15:22,100 --> 01:15:24,133 You can't get it out? You don't have... No. 988 01:15:24,166 --> 01:15:28,700 I'm a physician, but I practice this, x-ray, only. 989 01:15:29,467 --> 01:15:32,633 You think maybe I can just, you know, poop it out? 990 01:15:32,667 --> 01:15:34,667 You won't be able to poop it out. 991 01:15:35,100 --> 01:15:37,200 In fact, it will hurt you. 992 01:15:37,233 --> 01:15:41,367 In fact, I don't think it's even good for you that you poop it out. 993 01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:44,133 What will happen if you take Ex-Lax? Will that help? 994 01:15:45,033 --> 01:15:46,433 No, if he takes Ex-Lax, 995 01:15:46,467 --> 01:15:49,233 well, he gets a lot of diarrhea, but no car. 996 01:16:00,533 --> 01:16:02,633 I appreciate it. Thank you for taking care of me. 997 01:16:02,667 --> 01:16:03,934 Okay. Thanks again. 998 01:16:17,166 --> 01:16:18,333 He's alive! 999 01:16:18,700 --> 01:16:21,567 Oh, Johnny Knoxville. He made it. 1000 01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:26,033 Oh, there is a God. Oh, please. 1001 01:16:26,066 --> 01:16:28,800 And at last! I thought it would never... 1002 01:16:29,734 --> 01:16:33,667 This is the end! Oh, thank you, Jesus! 1003 01:16:36,233 --> 01:16:37,567 Oh, child! 1004 01:16:39,266 --> 01:16:40,500 Let's see it! Let's see it! 1005 01:16:40,533 --> 01:16:41,967 Not that bad. 1006 01:16:49,633 --> 01:16:51,533 ♬ Moments like this never last ♬ 1007 01:16:56,033 --> 01:16:58,934 ♬ When do creatures rape your face ♬ 1008 01:16:58,967 --> 01:17:01,166 ♬ Hybrids opened up the door ♬ 1009 01:17:06,200 --> 01:17:08,800 ♬ Ooh, baby, when you cry ♬ 1010 01:17:08,834 --> 01:17:11,000 ♬ Your face is momentary ♬ 1011 01:17:11,033 --> 01:17:14,533 ♬ You hide your looks behind these scars ♬ 1012 01:17:16,367 --> 01:17:17,367 Oh, shit! 1013 01:17:24,133 --> 01:17:25,667 Oh, fuck! 1014 01:17:25,867 --> 01:17:27,700 ♬ Give me a moment ♬ 1015 01:17:28,266 --> 01:17:30,500 ♬ Give me a moment ♬ 1016 01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:38,133 ♬ Ooh, baby, when you cry ♬ 1017 01:17:38,166 --> 01:17:40,533 ♬ Your face is momentary ♬ 1018 01:17:40,567 --> 01:17:43,967 ♬ You hide your looks behind these scars ♬ 1019 01:17:45,834 --> 01:17:47,333 Bam, what the... 1020 01:17:48,934 --> 01:17:50,967 ♬ In hybrid moments ♬ 1021 01:17:55,133 --> 01:17:57,767 ♬ In hybrid moments ♬ 1022 01:17:57,800 --> 01:18:00,700 ♬ In hybrid moments ♬ 1023 01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:07,567 ♬ Give me a moment ♬ 1024 01:18:07,767 --> 01:18:10,100 ♬ Give me a moment ♬ 1025 01:18:19,266 --> 01:18:20,700 Whose dick do I gotta suck 1026 01:18:20,734 --> 01:18:22,900 to get some explosions around here? 1027 01:18:33,166 --> 01:18:36,700 ♬ I can't expect you to see me ♬ 1028 01:18:36,734 --> 01:18:38,767 ♬ When I'm not around ♬ 1029 01:18:38,800 --> 01:18:41,667 ♬ And my voice is destroyed ♬ 1030 01:18:41,700 --> 01:18:44,133 ♬ By confinement of sound ♬ 1031 01:18:44,166 --> 01:18:46,700 ♬ I'm a human machine ♬ 1032 01:18:46,734 --> 01:18:49,100 ♬ Laced with hidden disease ♬ 1033 01:18:49,133 --> 01:18:51,567 ♬ If the future looks bleak ♬ 1034 01:18:51,600 --> 01:18:53,734 ♬ Then you're connected to me ♬ 1035 01:18:53,767 --> 01:18:54,967 ♬ Flesh into gear ♬ 1036 01:18:55,266 --> 01:18:59,266 ♬ My self appears dissected and pretentious ♬ 1037 01:18:59,300 --> 01:19:01,667 ♬ A simple sound, a heavy sigh ♬ 1038 01:19:01,700 --> 01:19:04,133 ♬ Could win the whole world over ♬ 1039 01:19:04,166 --> 01:19:06,867 ♬ You live in fear of being someone you didn't want ♬ 1040 01:19:06,900 --> 01:19:08,567 It's got a boner. 1041 01:19:09,533 --> 01:19:12,100 ♬ I realize your insecurities ♬ 1042 01:19:12,133 --> 01:19:14,166 ♬ Will get the best of you ♬ 1043 01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:17,233 Oh! Oh, fuck! 1044 01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:20,934 That's a man. 1045 01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:39,166 Gator wrestling. 1046 01:19:46,700 --> 01:19:50,400 For fuck's sake, come here! Hurry up. Hurry up. 1047 01:19:51,700 --> 01:19:52,900 Hurry! 1048 01:20:01,500 --> 01:20:04,233 We wanted to see if you would run here with a car up your ass. 1049 01:20:04,266 --> 01:20:05,900 No, I ain't running anywhere. 1050 01:20:09,633 --> 01:20:10,900 It's scary enough to walk. 1051 01:20:11,800 --> 01:20:14,066 You're nice. You're a good man. 1052 01:20:15,300 --> 01:20:16,467 Want to come over for dinner? 1053 01:20:16,667 --> 01:20:19,300 No, that's okay. You know how to operate it now? 1054 01:20:19,333 --> 01:20:21,533 Yeah, I think so. I think so. 1055 01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:24,033 ♬ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♬ 1056 01:20:24,066 --> 01:20:25,834 I need help. Yeah. 1057 01:20:26,333 --> 01:20:29,400 ♬ When you get knocked down, you gotta get back up ♬ 1058 01:20:31,667 --> 01:20:33,867 ♬ I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer ♬ 1059 01:20:33,900 --> 01:20:36,700 ♬ But I know enough to know ♬ 1060 01:20:37,300 --> 01:20:40,433 ♬ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♬ 1061 01:20:42,500 --> 01:20:44,800 The smiley face is a complete crucial. 1062 01:20:44,872 --> 01:20:45,262 ♬ ...I lit my brain with rotgut whiskey... 1063 01:20:45,834 --> 01:20:47,133 What did I say? 1064 01:20:47,166 --> 01:20:48,266 Fuck. Fuck. 1065 01:20:49,500 --> 01:20:50,676 I didn't say the "F" word. Yeah, you did. You said "fuck." 1066 01:20:50,700 --> 01:20:54,133 Don't worry, we'll bleep it. I did? Can we cut that out? 1067 01:20:54,166 --> 01:20:57,100 ♬ And I had dudes with badges frisk me ♬ 1068 01:20:58,433 --> 01:21:00,700 It's all right. It looks fine. It looks normal. 1069 01:21:00,734 --> 01:21:02,767 ♬ To teach me how to swallow pride ♬ 1070 01:21:04,200 --> 01:21:06,934 ♬ I took advice no fool would take ♬ 1071 01:21:07,700 --> 01:21:10,066 I think it says "fuck" on my forehead. 1072 01:21:11,300 --> 01:21:12,767 They don't have a tail? 1073 01:21:12,800 --> 01:21:14,667 No! They must have... 1074 01:21:14,700 --> 01:21:16,934 ♬ I ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer ♬ 1075 01:21:16,967 --> 01:21:19,100 ♬ But I know enough to know ♬ 1076 01:21:19,934 --> 01:21:21,676 ♬ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♬ 1077 01:21:21,700 --> 01:21:23,433 Show him the x-ray. 1078 01:21:25,767 --> 01:21:28,567 ♬ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♬ 1079 01:21:31,734 --> 01:21:34,667 I mean, trust me, dude, I'm not unimpressed. 1080 01:21:36,100 --> 01:21:39,233 ♬ That's the way it is in life and love ♬ 1081 01:21:41,333 --> 01:21:44,500 ♬ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♬ 1082 01:21:46,567 --> 01:21:49,900 ♬ If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough ♬ 1083 01:21:56,333 --> 01:21:57,533 Fuck! 1084 01:21:58,400 --> 01:22:02,333 The next time, we can do Son of Jackass. 1085 01:22:02,367 --> 01:22:03,633 Son 1086 01:24:06,867 --> 01:24:08,266 Yeah, dude. 1087 01:24:37,665 --> 01:24:40,455 Provided by DKSubs 1088 01:24:40,455 --> 01:24:42,785 Modify by Blue-Bird™ 1089 01:24:42,785 --> 01:24:44,296 Sync & corrections by Blue-Bird™ 86410