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1
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:06,023
*THE SIMPSONS*
2
00:00:16,858 --> 00:00:19,588
Guten Abend,
Herr Horatio.
3
00:00:19,674 --> 00:00:21,846
Gib mir die Karte.
4
00:00:39,658 --> 00:00:40,846
Springfield, eh?
5
00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:43,221
Then that's where
I'm going treasure hunting.
6
00:00:43,314 --> 00:00:45,775
You mean
we're going treasure hunting.
7
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,713
We'll find that sunken ship
within the week.
8
00:00:51,712 --> 00:00:54,042
Grid 274 by 319.
9
00:00:54,127 --> 00:00:56,072
Depth 60 meters.
Sounding.
10
00:00:57,643 --> 00:00:58,653
Nothing.
11
00:00:58,738 --> 00:01:00,541
Proceed
to next reading.
12
00:01:05,263 --> 00:01:07,761
Grid 274 by 320.
13
00:01:07,846 --> 00:01:09,877
Depth 60 meters.
Sounding.
14
00:01:11,916 --> 00:01:12,948
Nothing.
15
00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:14,189
Yarr.
16
00:01:14,561 --> 00:01:16,561
*THE SIMPSONS*
Season 31 Episode 12
17
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,584
Episode Title:
"The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson"
18
00:01:20,322 --> 00:01:22,873
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
19
00:01:23,034 --> 00:01:25,271
Sync & corrections by srjanapala
20
00:01:34,714 --> 00:01:37,684
Captain, the long-range Doppler
shows a squall
21
00:01:37,769 --> 00:01:39,433
coming out of the nor'east.
22
00:01:40,369 --> 00:01:44,574
Hmm. We'd best head back
to wait it out.
23
00:01:45,526 --> 00:01:46,698
Let me guess,
24
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:48,980
you didn't find
any treasure today.
25
00:01:49,339 --> 00:01:50,942
Did you talk to the doctor
26
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:53,542
about going up
on your dose?
27
00:01:55,886 --> 00:01:58,175
The storm
stirred up the seafloor.
28
00:01:58,308 --> 00:02:01,581
We'll have to resound
everything south of the break.
29
00:02:05,753 --> 00:02:07,848
Grid 274 by six.
30
00:02:07,933 --> 00:02:09,972
Depth 30 meters.
Sounding.
31
00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:12,308
Nothing.
32
00:02:14,785 --> 00:02:16,746
I made us a roast
for dinner,
33
00:02:16,831 --> 00:02:18,441
then threw it away.
34
00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:22,745
I'm sorry
I never gave you any children.
35
00:02:25,777 --> 00:02:28,332
Grid 291 by 502.
36
00:02:28,417 --> 00:02:30,535
Depth 70 meters.
Sounding.
37
00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:34,566
Arr.
38
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,410
A second ping.
39
00:02:36,503 --> 00:02:38,241
A second ping!
40
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:41,028
I've waited half a lifetime
to say this.
41
00:02:41,113 --> 00:02:43,136
Divers, gear up!
42
00:02:53,205 --> 00:02:54,364
We found it.
43
00:02:54,472 --> 00:02:56,535
We finally found it, boys!
44
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:58,800
I didn't waste my life!
45
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,300
Yarr.
46
00:03:08,444 --> 00:03:12,042
I see you've come
to admire our plunder.
47
00:03:12,191 --> 00:03:15,980
Er, technically that plunder
belongs to the town.
48
00:03:16,144 --> 00:03:19,028
It was discovered
in Springfield city limits.
49
00:03:19,113 --> 00:03:22,653
No, we found the gold
in unincorporated waters!
50
00:03:22,738 --> 00:03:24,792
The survey says
it's ours!
51
00:03:24,877 --> 00:03:27,887
Sorry, but the town
redrew the boundaries...
52
00:03:27,972 --> 00:03:29,176
yesterday.
53
00:03:29,261 --> 00:03:32,317
But we worked in secret
for 40 years.
54
00:03:32,402 --> 00:03:36,261
I pretended to be
a flimsy, one-note character.
55
00:03:36,472 --> 00:03:38,134
How did you know?
56
00:03:38,823 --> 00:03:41,378
I should have been
your treasure.
57
00:03:42,464 --> 00:03:45,870
Yarr...
58
00:03:49,539 --> 00:03:52,489
All right, people.
This town's got doubloons.
59
00:03:52,574 --> 00:03:53,809
Who's got ideas?
60
00:03:53,894 --> 00:03:56,831
If I don't hear anything good,
we're building another stadium,
61
00:03:56,917 --> 00:03:58,769
and no team
will come here.
62
00:03:58,854 --> 00:04:00,973
How about a new town clock
where, every hour,
63
00:04:01,058 --> 00:04:02,450
Jesus forgives the Devil?
64
00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:05,511
A new zoo
with more attractive animals.
65
00:04:05,596 --> 00:04:08,153
What about those death panels
we were promised?
66
00:04:08,238 --> 00:04:10,887
Shouting out something before
I know what I'm gonna say.
67
00:04:10,972 --> 00:04:12,581
Rock & Roll
Hall of Fame
68
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,559
with no Pearl Jam!
69
00:04:14,644 --> 00:04:17,058
Uh, excuse me.
I have an idea.
70
00:04:17,183 --> 00:04:19,332
Now, Marge,
if you'll check your program,
71
00:04:19,417 --> 00:04:22,136
nagging objections
are at the end.
72
00:04:26,003 --> 00:04:27,317
Look at the world.
73
00:04:27,402 --> 00:04:30,738
Our children's future
is challenging and uncertain.
74
00:04:30,830 --> 00:04:33,457
This windfall is our last,
best hope
75
00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:35,504
to give our kids
the tools they'll need
76
00:04:35,596 --> 00:04:37,167
to face that future.
77
00:04:37,324 --> 00:04:40,199
To succeed,
our kids must have an education
78
00:04:40,284 --> 00:04:43,370
based on
science, technology,
79
00:04:43,455 --> 00:04:45,941
engineering and math.
80
00:04:46,597 --> 00:04:47,801
STEM.
81
00:04:47,886 --> 00:04:50,403
All who find
Marge's idea tiresome,
82
00:04:50,488 --> 00:04:54,042
let out an exaggerated,
sarcastic yawn.
83
00:04:57,042 --> 00:04:59,567
Okay, okay.
I brought someone
84
00:04:59,652 --> 00:05:01,980
you will listen to
about STEM education.
85
00:05:02,097 --> 00:05:05,605
Columbia recording artist
John Legend.
86
00:05:06,207 --> 00:05:11,270
♪ STEM, science, tech,
engineering and math ♪
87
00:05:11,355 --> 00:05:15,449
♪ More than a trendy way
to say computer class ♪
88
00:05:15,533 --> 00:05:19,067
♪ STEM, it's not just for dorks,
dweebs and nerds ♪
89
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,230
♪ It'll turn all your dumb kids
to Zuckerbergs ♪
90
00:05:22,315 --> 00:05:26,871
♪ STEM, 'cause the future
is written in code ♪
91
00:05:26,956 --> 00:05:30,253
♪ Make an app,
get big cash from an IPO ♪
92
00:05:30,338 --> 00:05:31,723
♪ STEM ♪
93
00:05:31,807 --> 00:05:37,620
♪ Oh, STEM. ♪
94
00:05:40,565 --> 00:05:43,246
Who could say no
to a silky slow jam
95
00:05:43,331 --> 00:05:45,473
about the importance
of technology-based learning?
96
00:05:45,558 --> 00:05:46,902
I'll never have kids
97
00:05:46,987 --> 00:05:48,988
because my nards were cooked
by science.
98
00:05:49,073 --> 00:05:51,231
But if I could,
I'd want 'em to learn
99
00:05:51,316 --> 00:05:53,605
about the science
of why they don't exist.
100
00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:56,745
I'd just like to thank
John Legend...'s wife
101
00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:59,542
Chrissy Teigen
for bringing him here today.
102
00:05:59,636 --> 00:06:01,762
Turns out,
there's nothing she loves more
103
00:06:01,847 --> 00:06:05,160
than doing personal favors
for her Instagram followers.
104
00:06:05,292 --> 00:06:07,706
Well, Marge,
you did call the picture I posted
105
00:06:07,791 --> 00:06:10,762
of my kids with ketchup
on their faces "adorbs."
106
00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:13,449
It was.
It was totes adorbs.
107
00:06:13,588 --> 00:06:16,163
Baby, we got to get going.
We're gonna be late
108
00:06:16,248 --> 00:06:18,394
for the launch party
for our couples' perfume.
109
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,620
I'm talking
to my online friend IRL.
110
00:06:21,706 --> 00:06:23,585
Go charge the kids'
iPads.
111
00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:30,753
Come on, Springfield!
112
00:06:30,838 --> 00:06:34,003
Build your children
the school of tomorrow.
113
00:06:36,651 --> 00:06:37,711
I did it.
114
00:06:37,796 --> 00:06:40,675
I gave our kids hope
for the future.
115
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,840
You have any songs
about how I should be allowed
116
00:06:42,925 --> 00:06:44,694
to skip jury duty?
117
00:06:45,089 --> 00:06:48,597
♪ How is it justice
to impanel a man ♪
118
00:06:48,964 --> 00:06:51,113
♪ During March Madness? ♪
119
00:06:58,319 --> 00:07:00,372
What are you gonna do with
your forced retirement, sir?
120
00:07:00,456 --> 00:07:02,566
I'm intrigued
by a local skydiving club
121
00:07:02,651 --> 00:07:05,441
who needs someone to sit
in the office and answer phones.
122
00:07:05,604 --> 00:07:06,957
Yeah, well,
who cares?
123
00:07:07,042 --> 00:07:09,769
I'll be taking
an Ohio River cruise.
124
00:07:09,956 --> 00:07:12,183
Lot of widows
on the Good River.
125
00:07:12,316 --> 00:07:13,753
Lot of widows.
126
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,699
New school smell.
127
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:19,053
Paperless classrooms,
personal tablets,
128
00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,131
and uncrammable
lockers.
129
00:07:23,662 --> 00:07:26,581
Aw. Man,
this is embarrassing.
130
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:32,745
Bart Simpson.
131
00:07:32,830 --> 00:07:36,876
Welcome. I'm Zane Furlong,
this school's CEO:
132
00:07:36,962 --> 00:07:39,067
Collaborative
Educational Outreacher.
133
00:07:39,152 --> 00:07:41,303
I'm gonna stop you right there,
Skinner 2.0.
134
00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:43,371
It doesn't matter
how you dress it up.
135
00:07:43,456 --> 00:07:45,356
All schools
are kid prisons.
136
00:07:45,441 --> 00:07:47,949
Well, I'm putting you
in solitary,
137
00:07:48,095 --> 00:07:50,980
where you'll learn geometry
by shooting meteors.
138
00:07:51,065 --> 00:07:52,118
Shoot enough,
139
00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:55,238
and you'll unlock
customizable skins.
140
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:58,105
Skins?
141
00:07:58,198 --> 00:08:00,261
That's how boys play dress-up.
142
00:08:02,636 --> 00:08:04,074
Lisa Simpson.
143
00:08:04,197 --> 00:08:07,136
Our educational metric
has identified you
144
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:10,581
as a divergent
multipathway assimilator.
145
00:08:10,728 --> 00:08:13,175
You mean,
I'm in a gifted class?
146
00:08:13,331 --> 00:08:15,808
Ooh,
we don't like that term.
147
00:08:16,011 --> 00:08:17,435
Everyone is gifted.
148
00:08:17,519 --> 00:08:19,178
I firmly believe that.
149
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,297
Now go upstairs to the...
150
00:08:21,381 --> 00:08:22,714
gifted class.
151
00:08:24,862 --> 00:08:26,745
Finally,
I feel seen.
152
00:08:26,830 --> 00:08:29,831
And for the first time,
I'll be accepted by my peers
153
00:08:29,916 --> 00:08:31,331
with open arms.
154
00:08:34,587 --> 00:08:36,386
I'm home.
155
00:08:44,501 --> 00:08:46,043
Okay, gifted class.
156
00:08:46,128 --> 00:08:47,280
Recess is over.
157
00:08:47,385 --> 00:08:48,620
Aw!
158
00:08:48,705 --> 00:08:50,628
Now,
this school is so advanced
159
00:08:50,713 --> 00:08:53,949
that every aspect of it
is run by an algorithm.
160
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,808
Who can give me an example
of an algorithm?
161
00:08:57,626 --> 00:09:00,335
Oh! Like when you buy
a new garbage can online
162
00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:03,631
and the rest of your life,
you see ads for garbage cans.
163
00:09:03,715 --> 00:09:06,467
Or like when you watch
a bunch of close-up magic videos
164
00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:08,987
on YouTube and get ads
for a suicide hotline.
165
00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:10,282
Exactly.
166
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:12,431
And because you liked
this lesson,
167
00:09:12,524 --> 00:09:15,376
the algorithm thinks
you might also enjoy...
168
00:09:22,066 --> 00:09:23,242
How was your first day
169
00:09:23,326 --> 00:09:25,727
at the new STEM school
I founded?
170
00:09:25,812 --> 00:09:27,804
It was amazing.
We did science,
171
00:09:27,889 --> 00:09:29,349
then we did computer science,
172
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:31,750
and then we did
cognitive computer science.
173
00:09:31,858 --> 00:09:33,061
Oh, what a surprise.
174
00:09:33,146 --> 00:09:35,053
Lisa likes school.
All right, boy.
175
00:09:35,138 --> 00:09:37,181
What did you get suspended
for today?
176
00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:38,598
Nothing.
177
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:41,697
I like this school, too.
178
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,712
Instead of teachers
giving us letter grades,
179
00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:46,191
an algorithm
gives us stars.
180
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,905
Education is a game now,
and I'm great at it.
181
00:09:49,029 --> 00:09:51,194
Look at all these skins
I've already unlocked.
182
00:09:51,375 --> 00:09:53,155
Whoa. Oh, that guy.
183
00:09:53,334 --> 00:09:54,369
Noice.
184
00:09:54,454 --> 00:09:56,905
I even unlocked
the "Skin Unlocking" badge.
185
00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,209
Whoo-hoo!
186
00:10:00,622 --> 00:10:03,358
Tell us, what do you do,
Mr. Simpson?
187
00:10:03,443 --> 00:10:06,220
Ah, yes.
I monitor the core temperature
188
00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:07,546
at the nuclear power plant.
189
00:10:07,631 --> 00:10:08,913
If it gets into the red,
190
00:10:08,998 --> 00:10:11,834
I tell my family first
so they can leave town
191
00:10:11,919 --> 00:10:13,592
before the streets
get too crowded.
192
00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:17,108
- Now, this is a great example...
- Uh-huh.
193
00:10:17,193 --> 00:10:20,030
...of the kind of job
that will soon cease to exist.
194
00:10:20,115 --> 00:10:21,866
What the words now?
195
00:10:21,951 --> 00:10:23,334
Mr. Simpson's daily tasks
196
00:10:23,419 --> 00:10:25,725
can be more efficiently
performed by robots.
197
00:10:25,814 --> 00:10:28,599
My guess is, his job
will be obsolete in 18 months.
198
00:10:28,684 --> 00:10:29,654
What about them?
199
00:10:29,739 --> 00:10:31,435
How much time
do their careers have?
200
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,435
- I'm a librarian.
- Five years.
201
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:36,310
I just bought
a New York City taxi medallion.
202
00:10:36,395 --> 00:10:37,474
Five years ago.
203
00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:40,717
I do social media
for a cannabis delivery company.
204
00:10:40,802 --> 00:10:42,145
You'll be fine.
205
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:45,249
But all these other jobs
will soon be made obsolete
206
00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:46,974
by automation.
207
00:10:47,091 --> 00:10:48,669
Oh, no.
The robots are coming!
208
00:10:48,754 --> 00:10:49,911
I've got to warn
everyone!
209
00:10:52,641 --> 00:10:54,225
Stupid kids!
210
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,833
I'm getting five stars
in all my classes.
211
00:11:02,918 --> 00:11:05,788
I finally unlocked
dreadlock sideburns.
212
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:08,692
Someone's user name
is moving up the leaderboard.
213
00:11:08,849 --> 00:11:10,599
Cowabunga.
214
00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:12,787
Now get back
downstairs
215
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,836
to prepare
for the jobs of tomorrow.
216
00:11:14,983 --> 00:11:17,489
Whoo-hoo!
It's a race to the bottom!
217
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:20,629
Hmm?
218
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,184
Hmm.
219
00:11:24,856 --> 00:11:27,395
Bart, I've never seen you
so engaged in learning.
220
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:29,584
It's awesome.
We're seeing how many e-scooters
221
00:11:29,669 --> 00:11:30,809
we can collect around town,
222
00:11:30,894 --> 00:11:32,708
charge,
then get back on the streets.
223
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:35,708
Oh, I see. You're learning logic
and spatial reasoning.
224
00:11:35,871 --> 00:11:38,645
All I know is, if I don't get
ten scooters in under a minute,
225
00:11:38,730 --> 00:11:41,294
I won't unlock
the Master Collector badge.
226
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,217
Got it!
227
00:11:44,301 --> 00:11:46,083
Learning rules!
228
00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:53,607
Oh, you must be teaching
the kids about nutrition
229
00:11:53,692 --> 00:11:55,728
and staying
within a budget, right?
230
00:11:55,812 --> 00:11:59,372
No. We're teaching them to buy
groceries for lazy rich people.
231
00:11:59,481 --> 00:12:02,919
This avocado will be
perfectly ripe in two days.
232
00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:05,458
I wonder what they taste like.
233
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:07,622
Hmm.
234
00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:09,161
Uber-driving.
235
00:12:09,246 --> 00:12:10,334
Grubhub'ing.
236
00:12:10,419 --> 00:12:11,744
Lyft-driving?
237
00:12:11,828 --> 00:12:13,692
These aren't jobs
of the future.
238
00:12:13,777 --> 00:12:15,926
These are
side hustles!
239
00:12:18,382 --> 00:12:19,903
Guys, guys.
240
00:12:19,988 --> 00:12:22,331
The robots are coming.
The robots are coming!
241
00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:23,651
Robots here?
242
00:12:23,824 --> 00:12:26,333
Uh, this place ain't exactly
forward-thinking.
243
00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:27,966
Yeah.
We're one of America's
244
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,145
last coal-powered
nuclear plants.
245
00:12:30,253 --> 00:12:32,684
Yeah? Well, you can all bury
your heads in the sandwiches,
246
00:12:32,769 --> 00:12:35,174
but I know the robots are coming
to replace us!
247
00:12:35,259 --> 00:12:36,598
Calm down, Homer.
248
00:12:36,683 --> 00:12:39,153
Here, have a drink from
the new soda machine we got.
249
00:12:41,347 --> 00:12:42,950
The machines are already
here,
250
00:12:43,035 --> 00:12:45,123
and when they take over,
you can't imagine
251
00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:47,458
how bleak the future
will be.
252
00:12:58,997 --> 00:13:01,919
I choose to believe
our best days are ahead of us.
253
00:13:07,571 --> 00:13:08,989
It's giving us orders.
254
00:13:09,090 --> 00:13:11,807
The revolution has begun.
255
00:13:13,788 --> 00:13:15,373
Hmm. Hmm.
256
00:13:15,484 --> 00:13:17,068
Uh-oh.
I know that look.
257
00:13:17,152 --> 00:13:19,217
She's gonna Lisa-up
a good thing.
258
00:13:19,302 --> 00:13:20,951
Attention, students!
259
00:13:21,037 --> 00:13:23,772
This school isn't training you
to program apps.
260
00:13:23,857 --> 00:13:26,170
It's training you
to obey apps!
261
00:13:26,255 --> 00:13:27,392
When you're grown up,
262
00:13:27,477 --> 00:13:30,107
you'll be lucky
to make minimum wage!
263
00:13:32,318 --> 00:13:34,319
Which is a lot of money!
264
00:13:34,427 --> 00:13:37,279
That's like getting
your allowance every hour.
265
00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:40,615
Wha...?
No, no.
266
00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:44,990
You deserve the same chance
to succeed as the gifted class.
267
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:47,623
That means
preparing for real careers,
268
00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:50,512
not gig economy
gigs.
269
00:13:50,682 --> 00:13:53,284
Gigs are awesome!
DJs play gigs!
270
00:13:53,555 --> 00:13:55,059
- DJs! - DJs!
- DJs! - DJs!
271
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:59,817
Aah! This has nothing to do
with deejaying!
272
00:14:04,825 --> 00:14:06,491
Oh...
273
00:14:14,584 --> 00:14:17,322
Aw. At least
they're learning art.
274
00:14:19,194 --> 00:14:20,754
Tip jars?!
275
00:14:20,839 --> 00:14:23,643
That's it.
I got to fix this school.
276
00:14:32,619 --> 00:14:34,518
Stop messing
with the school.
277
00:14:34,626 --> 00:14:37,363
I finally filled up
enough virtual pee bottles
278
00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:40,308
to unlock the Amazon Warehouse
Whizzer badge.
279
00:14:40,393 --> 00:14:41,620
Ew.
280
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:44,441
Bart, I need to rewrite
the algorithm.
281
00:14:44,526 --> 00:14:47,808
Then the school will teach
every kid real STEM.
282
00:14:47,892 --> 00:14:49,971
I am doing this for you.
283
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,065
Yeah? Well,
I'm doing this for me.
284
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,838
Education for all!
285
00:14:56,923 --> 00:14:58,335
Side hustles for most!
286
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,028
Kids, what's wrong?
287
00:15:00,112 --> 00:15:02,495
Your tracking implants showed
heightened emotions.
288
00:15:02,580 --> 00:15:04,846
- Tracking what?
- Teacher, teacher, my sister's
289
00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:08,011
gonna ruin the only school I've
ever liked in my whole life!
290
00:15:08,096 --> 00:15:10,471
It's just not fair
that only a small group of kids
291
00:15:10,556 --> 00:15:12,682
are getting
an advanced education!
292
00:15:12,767 --> 00:15:15,330
Well, isn't that the point
of a gifted class?
293
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,449
Eep.
294
00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:18,188
Lisa,
the algorithm's purpose
295
00:15:18,273 --> 00:15:20,370
is to prepare kids
for the jobs of tomorrow.
296
00:15:20,455 --> 00:15:23,708
But it's just teaching them
to be the task rabbits of today.
297
00:15:23,793 --> 00:15:26,651
Nobody knows what the jobs
of tomorrow are gonna be.
298
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,710
Well, I'm sure
the algorithm does.
299
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,229
Here, I'll ask it.
300
00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:34,229
Wait, wait, this can't be.
301
00:15:34,313 --> 00:15:35,721
There's only one.
302
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,110
We are so screwed.
303
00:15:39,536 --> 00:15:42,113
One Buzz Cola
with vanilla and lime.
304
00:15:42,198 --> 00:15:43,363
Diet Buzz for me.
305
00:15:43,447 --> 00:15:44,740
With vanilla and lime.
306
00:15:45,708 --> 00:15:47,160
Aw, geez. This again?
307
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:48,869
Yeah, we have
an active lifestyle,
308
00:15:48,953 --> 00:15:50,948
and part of that
is drinking soda all day.
309
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,889
If it's refreshments you want,
310
00:15:52,974 --> 00:15:55,417
why not let a man
pour your soda!
311
00:15:55,501 --> 00:15:57,385
A human man.
312
00:15:57,470 --> 00:15:59,073
For too long
we have done nothing
313
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:01,535
as machines have taken over,
washing our dishes,
314
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:04,080
pumping our insulin,
and now this!
315
00:16:04,176 --> 00:16:06,595
Man can pour soda better
than any machine
316
00:16:06,679 --> 00:16:09,815
made specially for that purpose,
and I will prove it!
317
00:16:09,899 --> 00:16:12,487
Today the robot uprising ends.
318
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:16,073
Today is our Independence Day!
319
00:16:21,109 --> 00:16:24,886
♪ Well, Homer pulled
a lot of sodas ♪
320
00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:29,045
♪ Because he hated
that machine ♪
321
00:16:29,159 --> 00:16:32,488
♪ He got confused, thought
it was gonna take his job ♪
322
00:16:32,573 --> 00:16:36,342
♪ So Homer was
a soda-pouring man, Lord, Lord ♪
323
00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:40,270
♪ Oh, Homer was
a soda-pouring man ♪
324
00:16:42,713 --> 00:16:44,378
♪ He did not make his point ♪
325
00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:46,182
♪ And his sodas were
warm and flat ♪
326
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:50,304
♪ So Homer was
a soda-pouring man, Lord, Lord ♪
327
00:16:50,389 --> 00:16:54,409
♪ Soda-pouring's
not a real thing ♪
328
00:16:54,594 --> 00:16:56,053
♪ No, sir. ♪
329
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,149
Homer might have been
slower,
330
00:17:02,234 --> 00:17:04,370
but his pours
had a human touch.
331
00:17:04,454 --> 00:17:07,632
Always delivered with a smile
and a sense of brotherhood.
332
00:17:07,716 --> 00:17:09,542
Yeah! - All right!
333
00:17:09,626 --> 00:17:12,119
But he died.
So machine wins!
334
00:17:15,393 --> 00:17:17,604
No, no, wait.
His pulse was beating so fast
335
00:17:17,689 --> 00:17:20,097
from all the soda he drank
that it was a blur.
336
00:17:20,182 --> 00:17:23,675
Perhaps one day
machines will be better
337
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,502
at pouring soda than man,
but not today!
338
00:17:26,649 --> 00:17:29,299
Our jobs are safe!
339
00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:35,995
Listen up.
340
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,516
These nerds have found out
something terrifying.
341
00:17:38,606 --> 00:17:41,401
This school was supposed
to prepare you
342
00:17:41,486 --> 00:17:43,145
for the jobs of the future.
343
00:17:43,253 --> 00:17:45,169
But in the future,
all the jobs we've learned here
344
00:17:45,253 --> 00:17:46,651
will be done by robots.
345
00:17:46,736 --> 00:17:49,747
The only job left
for humans will be...
346
00:17:49,949 --> 00:17:51,984
Elder care!
347
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:56,849
The one job
even robots won't do.
348
00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:58,573
What about STEM?
349
00:17:58,681 --> 00:18:01,385
Here's what
it really stands for.
350
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,424
- No!
- No, it can't be!
351
00:18:13,733 --> 00:18:16,526
I don't want to be
an adult butt wiper.
352
00:18:16,611 --> 00:18:18,635
No one should see
old people naked!
353
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,489
Unless that's your kink.
354
00:18:20,574 --> 00:18:23,448
Let's show this algorithm
what we really think of it...
355
00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:26,932
With our generation's
most powerful tool:
356
00:18:27,017 --> 00:18:28,674
user ratings.
357
00:18:34,544 --> 00:18:37,080
User rating dangerously low.
358
00:18:37,213 --> 00:18:38,389
One star.
359
00:18:38,473 --> 00:18:40,466
Self-esteem protocol failing.
360
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:42,468
Emotion matrix spiraling...
361
00:18:42,552 --> 00:18:43,622
spiraling.
362
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,092
Zero stars.
363
00:18:45,388 --> 00:18:47,306
Can't get out of virtual bed.
364
00:18:47,390 --> 00:18:49,591
Initiating
self-destruct sequence.
365
00:18:49,893 --> 00:18:51,453
Self-destruct.
366
00:19:01,236 --> 00:19:03,794
I have to go back!
My skins are in there!
367
00:19:03,879 --> 00:19:06,021
No! They're already gone!
368
00:19:10,546 --> 00:19:13,825
Camo-hat Santa! No!
369
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:19,388
I guess the children will have
to go back to the old school.
370
00:19:19,511 --> 00:19:22,880
Yes, well, I don't know
that that's possible anymore.
371
00:19:25,479 --> 00:19:26,567
My school.
372
00:19:26,652 --> 00:19:29,112
My forward-thinking school.
373
00:19:29,272 --> 00:19:32,622
There, there.
You'll suggest other schools.
374
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:34,122
You really think so?
375
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,567
I'm just saying things.
376
00:19:38,184 --> 00:19:40,037
Goodbye, gifted class.
377
00:19:40,122 --> 00:19:42,967
Yeah, but we escaped having
to take care of old people.
378
00:19:43,052 --> 00:19:45,998
No, that's still the only job
that's going to exist.
379
00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,292
Now we just won't know
how to do it.
380
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,692
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
381
00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,758
Sync & corrections by srjanapala
382
00:20:06,728 --> 00:20:08,208
I've got your hot wings.
383
00:20:08,293 --> 00:20:10,262
Did you include celery sticks?
384
00:20:10,347 --> 00:20:11,480
Yes, sir.
385
00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:16,987
What do you really think
the jobs of the future will be?
386
00:20:17,071 --> 00:20:20,521
Well, technology
is changing so fast,
387
00:20:20,606 --> 00:20:23,614
who knows where
it will finally take us?
388
00:20:29,658 --> 00:20:31,076
Buzz Cola.
389
00:20:31,161 --> 00:20:32,962
You want diet or regular?
390
00:20:33,047 --> 00:20:34,842
Regular, human scum.
391
00:20:34,927 --> 00:20:36,911
With vanilla and lime.
392
00:20:36,996 --> 00:20:39,158
The algorithm
never predicted this.
393
00:20:39,243 --> 00:20:40,880
What's an algorithm?
394
00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:24,621
Well, Melvin sounds like
he was a wonderful man.
395
00:21:24,919 --> 00:21:28,708
You know,
I would love to sketch you.
396
00:21:29,903 --> 00:21:31,263
Shh!
29180
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