All language subtitles for The.Neighborhood.S01E05.HDTV.x264-SVA-eng

Mmm! Mmm! Baby, your pot
roast is my favorite dish.

So, why didn't you eat
more of it, then?

Oh, no. No, I'm not going
into another food coma

on family game night.

Your casserole last
week gave me the itis.

Yeah, you are the only person

I've ever known to fall
asleep playing Twister.

It was like, left hand on blue,

right hand on green, drool on yellow.
(LAUGHS)

Well, y'all are in trouble tonight,

because I took a nap at work.

And I'm about to destroy
y'all butts in some Uno.

What is it with you and that game?

Yeah, man, that box says
it's for seven-year-olds.

And up! Don't forget
about the "and up"!

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Oh, who's that?

It better not be Crackhead Victor.

I told him I don't want
to buy no life jacket.

Oh, damn.

Is it Victor?

No, worse. The Johnsons.

Did somebody say "game night"?

What are you guys doing here?

I invited them. Come on in, guys.

When we heard you guys
had a weekly game night,

I got so excited.

Dave loves games.

Yeah, the whole family does.

Dave loves games.

Okay, maybe I love them

a little bit more than everybody else,

but what's not to love?

People coming together in the spirit

of competition,
cooperation, camaraderie.

I usually fall asleep.

Okay, Calvin, what do you say?

You ready to square off
against another OG?

Original gamesta.

Your turn.

Oh. Oh. Okay.

Uh...

Hmm.

Jenga. I win!

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Which brings us to our fourth
option... Potato Famine Farmers.

You did this.

Okay,

now, the rules are really quite simple.

Everyone will play as farmers
during the Irish Potato Famine,

who are trying to get their
families back to Dublin

so they can avoid starvation.

Now, to get there, you'll
utilize a combination

of victory points, agricultural
bonuses, and trail attacks.

Now I don't want to
get ahead of myself...

And this is not a requirement...

But what's everybody's basic
understanding of Gaelic?

You're right. I did this.

No. Come on. This game is a blast.

Look, around here, we don't
play games in Gaelic.

We play in English.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, that's why we play Uno.

Well, I vote for the potato game.

You know, I love Riverdance,
so maybe I'll like this.

Hey, Malcolm, can I go play video games

in your room instead?

Yeah. Sure, little man.

Whoa. Uh, seriously, buddy?

You... you want to go play video games

instead of having fun with
your family and friends?

See ya.

(LAUGHS) Yeah. I'm going with Grover.

Whoa, hold on. I...

Calvin, Calvin, this...

Look, this'll give us a chance

to all hang out and have fun together.

Come on, baby. He's our guest.

Let's play a new game for a change.

Okay, but I don't want to
be a shamrock sharecropper.

What other games you got in there?

Uh, okay. You know what?

Here's a good one. It's
called Naming Names.

Naming Names?

Around here, that game
is called "snitching."

Mm-hmm.

I actually like this one.

Actually?

Take the win, sweetheart.

Come on, Milton Bradley.
How do you play?

Joke's on you. Personal hero of mine.

Okay.

Here's how this works. I'll read
a question from the deck like,

"What's your favorite hobby?"

And then everyone will
write down their answers.

And then I'll read the answers,

and we'll all guess who wrote what.

Okay. Cool. I'll keep score.

Well, it's not really
about keeping score.

It's-it's more of a game of just
getting to know each other.

Well, get to know me.

I'm Calvin Butler and I keep score.

All right, after eight rounds,

guess who has a ten-point lead.

Me. (LAUGHS)

How do you say "I'm kicking
your ass" in Gaelic?

(LAUGHS) Come on, Dave.

Hit me with another question.

Here's a good one.

"What's something bad you've done,

but never told anyone about?"

Damn, this is a nosy-ass game.

Okay, while you're all
writing, I'll tell you mine.

Uh, I once asked for a water cup

at a fast food restaurant and
filled it with lemonade.

Wow, Dave. Thank God you
turned your life around.

Okay. All right, all right.

(CLEARS THROAT)

- Here we go. Here we go.
- All right.

The first answer is...

Oh, it looks like I'm not the
only bad boy in the room.

Someone wrote,

"I shoplifted."

Malcolm.

He doesn't have a job.
It's got to be him.

Boom! Another point for your boy!

Whoa. So, just because
I don't have a job,

that makes me a thief?

I'm just saying, if the shoe
fits, you probably stole it.

Well, you can take your point
off, 'cause it wasn't me.

It was me.

I'm the shoplifter.

Oh, damn. I should've knew it.

Malcolm was too obvious, man.

Damn, Gemma, you're a thief?

I can see that.

You never told me you shoplifted.

It was a long time ago.

Is it weird that I'm turned on by that?

I was in junior high.

Then the answer is yes.

Wait. So, what'd you steal?

A Star Trek backpack.

Oh, damn it. It's sexy again.

(LAUGHS)

Wait. You stole a Star Trek backpack?
Gemma,

live long and plunder.

Actually, I was aiming for the
Spice Girls, but I panicked.

I wanted Sporty, but
instead I grabbed Spock.

- Hmm.
- And then what?

I ran out.

Damn!

My girl Gemma outrunning the po po.

No, no, no. No one chased me.

ALL: What?

Yeah, I was so on edge, I
binged, like, four Cinnabons

- just to calm down.
- Ooh.

Girl, if you was black, you'd
still be sitting in jail

with type 2 diabetes.

Wait. You think I got away
with it because I'm white?

- Yes, definitely.
- Yeah.

Of course.

Shoot, I was in the
store the other day.

Security followed me so long, I
thought I did steal something.

- That still happens?
- Are you kidding?

I have more followers
in a department store

than I do on Twitter.

Yeah, it's profiling, man.

It's still an everyday thing for us.

Yeah, tell me about it.
You just did it to me.

What are you talking about?

You just accused me of shoplifting

and called me a thief.

I was playing a game.

Stop being so sensitive.

Oh, so now you're calling me soft?

All right, you two.

Yeah, um, you know what?
Let's do another question.

(LAUGHS) Here's a good one.

"Who's your favorite Smurf?"

No, you know what, Dave? I don't want

to play with somebody who
keeps disrespecting me.

Boy, sit down. Ain't
nobody disrespecting you.

Yes, you are, Pop. You
do it all the time.

Well, maybe I wouldn't have to

if you did something
worthy of my respect.

Forget this, man. I'm out of here.

Malcolm?

- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to start a fight

just because I stole a stupid backpack.

You stole a backpack?

The point is, I felt so bad
for stealing that backpack,

I realized the right thing to do
was to return it and apologize.

Good job, Mom. I'm proud of you.

Aw, thanks, baby.

All right, buddy. Now
go put on your pajamas

and brush your teeth.

I'll be up to tuck you in in a minute.

Wow. You handled that really well,

but why didn't you tell everybody else

you returned the backpack?

Because I didn't. I'm
a thief and a liar

and a terrible mother.

That-That's not true.

You're not a terrible mother.

Yes, I am. I just lied
to my son's face.

Yes, I know, but that's only because

you don't want him to
grow up to be like you.

I'm serious. What do
you think I should do?

Return the backpack?

Wait. You still have it?

Gemma, that's sick.

And, again, sexy.

Ugh! I feel terrible.

Well, how do you think I feel?

I just drove a wedge between
Calvin and Malcolm.

I tore their entire relationship apart.

I think you're being a
little dramatic, Dave.

Dramatic? I'm a home-wrecker.

Whatever. I never want to
play this stupid game again.

Well, it's not the game's fault.

Hate the players, not the game.

What are you still doing here?

Have you been up all night?

Oh. (LAUGHS) Well, Dave left
behind Potato Famine Farmers.

At first I started
playing it ironically,

and then I got hooked.

(LAUGHS)

Daddy, my family is starving!

(KNOCKING)

- Hey, Calvin.
- Hey, Dave.

I just wanted to come over and
make sure everything was okay.

I feel really bad about last night.

Why? Because I won? (LAUGHS)

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

I think you're saying that wrong.

Hey, what's up, Dave?
You ready to go, Pop?

Wait. So, you guys are okay?

- Yeah, why wouldn't we be?
- Yeah.

Come on, let's go.

Oh!

Would you get that game out of here

before Marty turns into a potato head?

Hey, uh, Marty, can I
ask you something?

Now is not a good time, Dave.

My wagon is stuck in a ditch,

and my wife Lorelei's water just broke.

Well, it's just

that your dad and Malcolm got
into a huge fight last night,

and now they seem completely fine.

Yeah, that's what they do.
Things blow up,

they ignore it and pretend
like it never happened.

Well, has it always been like that?

No, it started when Malcolm
stopped playing baseball.

I didn't know he played baseball.

Yeah, well, I didn't know
wolves could eat my baby.

Why'd he stop?

Uh, he, um, he got
injured in the minors.

It kept him from making
it to the big leagues.

Oh, man, he must have been crushed.

Yeah, so was my dad.

Baseball was their thing.

You know, maybe since they can't
connect over baseball anymore,

I can get them to connect
over a different game.

(LAUGHS) Well, it can't be this one,

because it is ruining my life!

Thank you so much for coming with me.

Are you kidding?

White girl returning a bag
she stole 20 years ago...

Nothing on TV better than this.

I just want to set a good
example for Grover, you know?

I don't want him thinking
I'm a hypocrite.

Eh, all good parents are hypocrites.

My boys think I'm at church right now.

I have kind of a weird situation,

and I know it's gonna
sound a little crazy,

but I need to return a backpack I stole

from one of your stores in 1998.

I get it. When my uncle got sober,

he had to make amends, too.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm not getting sober.

Mama needs her wine.

I'm just trying to
return this backpack.

Okay, maybe you should take it back

to the store that you stole it from.

(LAUGHS) Well, to do that,

I'd need Marty, Doc
Brown, and a DeLorean.

I don't know what any
of those things are.

Listen, Meadow, I have
a six-year-old son,

and I lied to his face.

I need to return this backpack
so I'm not a liar anymore.

Because if a kid can't trust his
mom, he can't trust anyone.

So you are gonna take
this damn backpack

and help me save my baby boy.

Okay, let me, uh,

handle this. Hi, Meadow.

All my friend here needs
to do is return that bag,

so what is the best way to
resolve this situation?

I'm sorry. I can't resolve
anything for you.

Well, I hear you say that,

but I don't feel like you
really tried.(CHUCKLES)

Whoa, there's no need to be aggressive.

I'm not being aggressive.

I don't appreciate your tone.

My tone? Th-Th-There's
nothing wrong with my tone.

I was just trying to help my friend.

Security? I've got a situation

with a very angry woman

and her blonde friend from the '90s.

Oh, my God, she just called you angry.

(SCOFFS)

Tina, I don't know if you realize this,

but you are being profiled.

Oh, my God, Gemma.

I think you might be right.

Well, I am not just gonna stand here

and watch you be disrespected.

See, now you're upsetting my customer.

Oh, you want upsetting? I
will show you upsetting.

Okay. All right, let's
go, Angela Davis.

- You're gonna get me arrested.
- You may not realize it,

but you should be ashamed of yourself.

Y-You need to get woke!

She's black, and I'm proud!

Okay.

Okay.

Hey, guys.

Who's up for some cornhole?

Did you get beat up a lot as a kid?

Not as much as everybody thinks.

(CHUCKLES)

Wait, wait, guys, hold on.

You guys should really
talk about your issues.

If you don't want to
do it for yourselves,

do it for me.

That is the least
compelling reason to do it.

Hey, Dave, look,

it's cool, man. We're fine.

Yeah. Look, I-I know, as a man,

how hard it is to talk
about our feelings.

I wish it was harder for you.

Marty told me about how
your problems started

when Malcolm stopped playing baseball,

and I think maybe it's because

alpha males, like us...

sometimes use sports
to connect emotionally.

Guys, it's not healthy

to keep having these blowups

and pretend like they never happened.

You know, you're
suppressing your feelings.

Suppressing our feelings? No.

We don't suppress anything around here.
Right, Malcolm?

- I...
- See, I told you.

- I think Dave is right.
- What?

I think Dave's right. We should...

play the game and talk.

About what?

About how you talk to me.

How you disrespect me.

Look, I-I'm sick of it, man.

Oh. Oh, so you're the
one sick of something?

Yeah, Pop, I'm sick of it.

Huh. Okay. Okay.

See, now we're communicating.

Who wants to throw the first beanbag?

If you don't get your ass out of here,

you're gonna be the first beanbag.

Let the healing begin.

You feeling better now?

Yes.

I just can't believe she
treated you like that.

I told you, it happens all the time.
But...

maybe this time we can
use it to our advantage.

How? Follow my lead.

You drop the goods, and
I'll handle the rest.

Okay. I'm just gonna have
this other Cinnabon first.

How do you not have an ass?

♪ ♪

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♪ ♪

Ka-kaw! Ka-kaw!

(LAUGHS) You followed the wrong one.

And you couldn't handle the '90s.

All right. Go ahead, big man.

Say what you got to say.

Well, Dave said playing the
game will help us to do it.

(SIGHS) Fine.

Yeah. There. Go. We're playing.

Oh, damn, I made it.

You know what, just
forget about it, Pop,

'cause you're not gonna
listen to me, anyway.

There you go.

Quitting 'cause you lost.
Classic Malcolm.

Had enough of you talking
to me like that.

Mm.

Ever since I stopped playing baseball,

you treat me like I'm a bum.

Well, ever since you
stopped playing baseball,

you been acting like a bum.

What am I supposed to do, Pop?

J-Just get some job

and forget that I was
ever good at baseball?

I did 6:00 a.m. workouts every day,

took batting practice
till my hands bled.

I gave everything I had to baseball.

Worked my ass off
chasing my dream and...

just for my arm to go out on me, Pop.

You have any idea how unfair that is?

What you want me to say, Malcolm?

Life is unfair.

But what are you gonna do?

Just sit in the living room all day

and guard the damn furniture?

Do you see what I'm saying, Pop?

Why do you have to
come at me like that?

I'm trying to get you to fight, son.

I don't want to fight with you.

I don't want you to fight with me.

I want you to fight back.

Fight back at what?

At life.

I'm trying to motivate you, son.

Pop, when you tear me down like that,

it doesn't motivate me.

It just makes me feel like...

like I'm worthless.

Worthless?

You're my son.

There's nothing worthless about you.

Malcolm, I loved watching
you play baseball.

And you know why? Because
you were fearless.

You dove for every ball,

you always took that extra base,

and you never struck out
without swinging at the pitch.

You always went down swinging.

That's because when I
was a kid, you told me

if I didn't try my hardest,
I would have to walk home.

Yeah, you remember that
time you had to walk home

- in a thunderstorm?
- (CHUCKLES)

How can I forget? It was an away game.

Look, son,

but these last couple of years,

you've been caught looking.

You need to start swinging again.

I know, Pop.

But at what?

Anything. I mean, a swing and a miss

is always better than no swing at all.

Well, maybe you're right.

I is time for me to
start swinging again.

Yeah. And, look, I may be tough,

but I always got your back.

Well, I would appreciate it,
Pop, if you would just...

cut down on the jabs a little bit.

(CHUCKLES) Okay. All
right, I can do that.

So what you thinking,
like five jabs a week?

(LAUGHS)

How about two, Pop?

Okay, three it is.

Deal.

I'm-a do you one better.
Come here, man.

Love you, boy.

Love you.

- Oh, damn.
- What?

Did Dave's little
cornhole plan work on us?

It sure did.

Well, all right. So,
y'all are starving,

but my oxen are yoked.

My sheep are shorn.

And Uncle Seamus's amputation
went off without a hitch.

Dublin, here I come.

Oh!

Boom! Bumper crop. (LAUGHS)

Where you gonna get your french
fries from now, huh? Me!

After tonight, this
goes in the trash, too.

Yeah.

(LAUGHING)

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