Original subtitles

ESTIMATES FOR THE NEW DRAPES.

COOKWARE CATALOGUE.

LETTER FROM YOUR PAPA.

VERY THOROUGH. MM-HMM.

DID PAPA HAVE ANYTHING INTERESTING TO SAY?

OH, REALLY, PERCIVAL!

I DON'T OPEN OTHER PEOPLE'S MAIL!

MORNING, MOTHER.

GOOD MORNING, DARLING. HOW ARE WE FEELING THIS MORNING?

FAT AND CLUMSY. ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

HERE YOU ARE, MR. REILLY.

AH. SMELLS GREAT, NELLIE.

YOUR COOKING SURE IS BETTER

SINCE YOU GOT PREGNANT.

WELL, BEFORE, I WAS PROBABLY STANDING TOO CLOSE TO THE STOVE.

Percival: NELLIE, I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

IT'S ONLY $5.00. I'LL PAY IT BACK.

THEY'RE REALLY GONNA DO IT!

WHAT? WHAT?

LEAVE NEW YORK CITY. WHO?

MY PARENTS!

THEY ALWAYS SAID I WAS CRAZY TO LEAVE THE COMFORTS OF THE CITY

TO COME LIVE AMONG THE SAVAGES.

SAVAGES?!

FIGURE OF SPEECH, MRS. O.

WHAT IS IT THEY SAY? "A LITTLE CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM."

THEY'RE COMING TO SEE THE BABY.

COHEN.

HEH HEH. COHEN.

YOU KNEW PERCIVAL HAD CHANGED HIS NAME.

YES, YES. IT WAS THE BEST KEPT SECRET IN TOWN.

NOW WHAT DO I DO?

NOTHING. JUST BE NICE.

THEY'RE PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND ME.

[GASPS] WE'VE NEVER SEEN A PICTURE OF THEM.

I WONDER IF THEY-- I WONDER IF THEY LOOK DIFFERENT.

THAN WHAT? A POMEGRANATE?

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WHAT IF THEY HAVE THOSE BIG, HOOKED NOSES

AND THOSE LITTLE BEADY EYES?

HARRIET, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

EVEN CHINA HAS JEWISH PEOPLE,

BUT I BET YOU COULDN'T PICK 'EM OUT.

JUST RELAX.

NELS, I DON'T NEED A GEOGRAPHY LESSON.

HARRIET, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REMEMBER

THAT THEY ARE PERCIVAL'S PARENTS,

OUR DAUGHTER'S IN-LAWS.

JUST BEHAVE YOURSELF!

COHEN.

COHEN.

YOU'VE BEEN PRETTY QUIET ALL DAY,

SO I GUESS YOU'RE PRETTY MAD.

WELL, I JUST WANNA SAY I'M SORRY.

I SHOULD HAVE TOLD EVERYBODY MY REAL NAME

RIGHT FROM THE START, BUT WELL, IT JUST NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.

PERCIVAL.

SO I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR BEING ANGRY, AND IF YOU WANNA GET MAD--

WOULD YOU HUSH?

I MARRIED YOU, NOT YOUR NAME.

I'M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS IS ALL.

WHAT IF THEY DON'T LIKE ME?

DUMBEST THING I EVER HEARD.

WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?

ANYWAY, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE.

JEWISH LAW SAYS THAT THE IN-LAWS BECOME PART OF THE FAMILY,

SO YOU'RE THEIR DAUGHTER.

I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.

I ALWAYS AM. HA HA!

I FEEL BETTER NOW. GOOD.

I THINK I'LL GET A PICKLE AND ICE CREAM.

OH, NO, YOU WON'T.

BUT-- NO.

I DO FEEL BETTER NOW.

I FEEL SILLY WEARING MY SUNDAY DRESS TO DO DISHES,

BUT I WANNA LOOK MY BEST.

THEY'LL BE TOO BUSY HUGGING YOU TO NOTICE.

FROM 3 FEET AWAY?

HA HA!

I FEEL LIKE AN OVERSIZED PEAR IN FANCY WRAPPING.

OH, YOU'RE GETTING SOAPSUDS ALL OVER IT.

COME ON. GO SIT DOWN.

HERE.

THANK YOU.

THEY WON'T LIKE ME.

NOBODY DOES.

YOU NEVER HAVE.

THAT ISN'T TRUE.

YOU HAD A FEW...

PROBLEMS AS A CHILD,

BUT YOU'VE OUTGROWN THEM.

REALLY?

REALLY.

READY, DEAR?

UH, MAYBE I COULD JUST STAY IN HERE, MY LOVE?

AND NOT COME MEET THE STAGE? WHY?

PERCIVAL, MAYBE NELLIE SHOULD WAIT HERE.

SHE'S REALLY NOT IN ANY CONDITION

TO STAND OUT IN THE HEAT.

WELL, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT, AREN'T YOU?

SHE'S JUST PREGNANT, IN CASE YOU FORGOT.

ALL RIGHT. YOU STAY HERE.

I LOVE YOU.

THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WHOA. SETTLE DOWN.

HEY, PAPA!

[INDISTINCT GREETINGS]

Mr. Cohen: NICE. LIKE A GENTLEMAN.

MAMA.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

Mrs. Cohen: IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

[KISSES]

PAPA, THIS IS MRS. OLESON.

WELCOME TO--

MRS. OLESON, SHALOM!

UHH!

[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]

WELCOME TO WALNUT GROVE.

THANK YOU.

PAPA. PAPA.

THIS IS MR. OLESON.

THIS IS MY FATHER, BENJAMIN COHEN,

AND MY MOTHER, EDNA.

SHALOM.

OHH! HEH HEH. MR...

IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

WHERE IS THE LITTLE MAMA, THE MOTHER OF MY GRANDSON?

SHE'S OVER AT THE RESTAURANT.

IT'S RIGHT THIS WAY. COME ON, MAMA.

Harriet: NELS.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE. GET THE LUGGAGE.

HERE YOU GO, NELS.

THERE'S PLENTY MORE IN THE BACK.

Harriet: THERE WE GO.

I'LL GO FETCH HER.

YOU MUST BE--

YES, IT'S PERCIVAL'S PARENTS.

THIS IS BEN, AND THIS IS EDNA.

THIS IS CAROLINE INGALLS.

BENJAMIN, ACTUALLY.

SO NICE TO MEET YOU, MRS. INGALLS.

OH, WE'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU, ALL OF YOU.

Percival: MAMA, PAPA.

THIS IS NELLIE.

THERE SHE IS!

DEAR NELLIE.

SHE'S A PRETTY LITTLE THING.

SO, HOW IS HE?

WELL, I HOPE.

OH, I FEEL FINE, THANK YOU.

YOU MUST BE TIRED. LET ME SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOM.

RIGHT THIS WAY.

Percival: THEY'RE NOT THE BIGGEST ROOMS IN THE WORLD,

BUT THEY'RE CLEAN.

HAVE A NICE REST

AND COME OVER TO MY HOUSE FOR SUPPER.

HERE. LET ME HELP YOU WITH THOSE.

IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, MR. DALTON.

WELL, YOU OUGHT TO HAVE ENOUGH HANGERS IN THE CLOSET.

ANY QUESTIONS?

NOPE. EVERYTHING IS FINE.

SUCH A NICE ROOM, BENJAMIN.

OUR CHILDREN ARE GOOD TO US.

CAN I HELP YOU UNPACK?

NO, DEAR. WE CAN MANAGE.

FIRST DUTY IS TO TAKE CARE OF THAT BABY.

NOW, IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS, JUST HOLLER.

A LITTLE NAP AND WE'LL BE FINE.

AND WE'LL SEE YOU FOR SUPPER ABOUT 6:00.

THANK YOU, MR. OLSEN.

MR. COHEN.

ISAAC!

YOU STILL REMEMBER YOUR NAME.

I'M GLAD.

WHAT WAS THAT?

SOME PEOPLE CAN LIVE A LIE.

SADLY MY SON IS ONE OF THEM.

BENJAMIN, WE TALKED ALL ABOUT THIS.

THIS IS NOT NEWS.

HE CHOSE TO DENY HIS HERITAGE.

I CANNOT!

NO ONE ASKED YOU TO!

OUR SON HAS DONE IT FOR ME.

THAT WOMAN DOWNSTAIRS, MRS. INGALLS.

SHE CALLED ME MR. DALTON.

A NATURAL MISTAKE.

I AM NOT BEN DALTON!

I AM BENJAMIN COHEN!

[SIGHS]

WHAT YOU ARE IS INSIDE, SILLY MAN.

AND WE ARE GUESTS HERE, REMEMBER THAT.

HERE! HERE IS WHAT HAS CHANGED HIM!

THIS WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED IN NEW YORK!

BENJAMIN, PLEASE, DON'T FRIGHTEN ME.

REMEMBER YOUR HEART ATTACK.

I'M SORRY, MY DEAR.

BUT YOU MUST SEE HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME.

THINK OF YOUR GRANDSON, HMM? HMM?

Harriet: WILLIE! WE'RE ALL AT THE TABLE!

COME IN THE HOUSE!

CLOSE THE DOOR.

Benjamin: IF YOU DON'T MIND, COULD WE LEAVE IT AJAR?

OH. WELL, WE CAN OPEN A WINDOW

IF YOU'RE HOT.

WELL, IT'S A TRADITION, MRS. OLESON,

IN CASE A HUNGRY STRANGER SHOULD COME BY AND WISH TO JOIN US.

BUT WE DIDN'T FIX ANY EXTRA.

[ALL LAUGH]

BEN, HEAVEN'S SAKES. I FORGOT TO TAKE YOUR HAT.

IT'S BENJAMIN. AND, NO, YOU DIDN'T.

NELS, SAY THE BLESSING.

OH, PLEASE, ALLOW ME.

I DIDN'T KNOW JEWS SAID GRACE.

WE ALL EAT. WE SHOULD GIVE THANKS.

* BARUCH

* ATAH ADONAI

* ELO HEYNU MELECH HA OLAM *

* BORAY PREE HA GOSFEN *

BLESSED ART THOU, O LORD, OUR GOD,

KING OF THE UNIVERSE,

WHO RIPENETH THE FRUIT OF THE VINE.

WE GIVE THANKS FOR THY LOVING KINDNESS DAY BY DAY

AND ASK THAT WE BE WORTHY IN THE SIGHT OF GOD AND MAN.

AMEN.

AMEN. AMEN.

Harriet: WILLIE! WHERE'S YOUR MILK?

I WAS HOPING YOU WOULDN'T NOTICE.

YOUR SON DRINKS MILK WITH HIS SUPPER?

THE LAMB SEETHES IN ITS OWN MILK?

Willie: HE'S RIGHT. CAN I HAVE SOME OF THIS WINE?

IT'S ROAST BEEF, MR. COHEN.

ONE DOES NOT MIX MEAT AND MILK AT THE SAME TABLE.

AS LONG AS I AM HIS MOTHER, ONE DOES.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS OF RAISING CHILDREN, PAPA.

I HOPE YOU KNOW WHICH IS WHICH.

Edna: PAPA.

Nels: BENJAMIN, IF YOU PASS YOUR PLATE,

I'LL SERVE THE MEAT.

UH, NO MEAT, THANK YOU.

AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE MEAT?

NOTHING, I'M SURE, BUT JEWISH LAW

FORBIDS ME TO EAT NONKOSHER MEAT. I'M SORRY.

Benjamin: JUST VEGETABLES.

WHOA! WHOA.

SO, DO YOU MISS NEW YORK,

OR DO YOU LIKE IT HERE

WITH THESE PEOPLE?

THESE PEOPLE ARE AMERICANS, PAPA, JUST LIKE YOU.

WHAT DID I SAY?

JUST A SIMPLE QUESTION.

I'M SORRY.

FREDA WAS IN THE STORE THE OTHER WEEK.

YOU REMEMBER FREDA?

UH, LIVED ON HAUSER ACROSS FROM THE SYNAGOGUE.

MRS. WEINBERG NOW.

AH, YOUR MOTHER ALWAYS HOPED--

HOPED.

AH, NEVER MIND.

SHE WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED

TO BE A DALTON ANYWAY.

PAPA, I'VE EXPLAINED ALL THAT BEFORE.

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WOULDN'T HIRE ME KNOWING I WAS JEWISH.

NOW, I DON'T MAKE EXCUSES FOR THEM, BUT, WELL, I NEEDED THE JOB.

YOU HAD TO LEAVE THE CITY

TO HIDE YOUR NAME.

COHEN IS A GOOD NAME.

IN NEW YORK,

COHEN RUNS HIS OWN BUSINESS.

BUT IT'S YOUR BUSINESS, PAPA, NOT MINE.

SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE NOW?

YOUR WIFE'S BUSINESS.

I HOPE YOU RAISE YOUR SON

BETTER THAN THAT.

OUR SON OR DAUGHTER WILL LOVE AND RESPECT THEIR FATHER

THE SAME WAY I DO MINE.

AHEM. I SHOULD HOPE SO.

WE BETTER BE GETTING BACK.

[SIGHS] HERE.

OH, EDNA, I'M SO GLAD THAT WE HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY

TO GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER.

OH. IS CHOCOLATE CAKE ALLOWED,

OR IS IT A SIN?

FOR THE WAISTLINE, YES,

BUT THE LORD DOESN'T OBJECT TO A SWEET TOOTH.

OH. GOOD. I HAVE ONE, TOO.

I THINK YOU'LL FIND WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON,

INCLUDING A GRANDCHILD.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME.

I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO SHOW YOU.

I HAD THIS MADE WHEN-- WHEN NELLIE WAS BORN,

AND I'VE BEEN SAVING IT ALL THESE YEARS

FOR WHEN SHE HAS HER FIRST BABY.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER...

WITH HER PRETTY BLONDE HAIR AND HER GREAT BIG BLUE EYES,

ITTY-BITTY NOSE.

THE REVEREND SAID,

"I'LL NEVER FORGET NELLIE OLESON'S CHRISTENING."

AT LEAST, I THINK THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

SHE WAS SCREAMING LIKE A BANSHEE.

EDNA, WHAT'S-- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I-I-I-I'M FINE. I...

[GASPING]

I JUST-- I JUST NEVER REALIZED--

BENJAMIN.

WHAT? OH, BENJAMIN DOESN'T LIKE CHRISTENING DRESSES?

NOT THE DRESS.

THE CHRISTENING.

IT'S NOT, UH, JEWISH.

NEITHER IS MY DAUGHTER.

BUT--BUT THE BABY IS PERCIVAL'S, TOO,

AND IT'S BENJAMIN COHEN'S GRANDCHILD.

OH, I-I'M SORRY.

I--I THOUGHT IT WAS UNDERSTOOD.

Nellie: MOTHER!

E-EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.

YES, NELLIE. JUST A MINUTE!

[WHISPERING] Get back over here.

I wanna talk to you. Come here.

MRS. COHEN TELLS ME THAT YOUR BABY IS GOING TO BE JEWISH.

NOW, WHY IS IT THAT I'M THE LAST ONE TO KNOW THESE THINGS?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU MEAN, PERCIVAL HASN'T SAID ANYTHING TO YOU?

NO. OH--

GOOD MORNING, MRS. COHEN--

MRS. DAVIS.

[WHISPERING] Those people came out here from New York

for one reason and one reason only--

to get their hands on my grandchild.

You know how they are, sneaky.

MOTHER, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MY HUSBAND.

AH. AND YOU WILL HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME.

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A RABBI ON YOUR HANDS, HMM?

WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT THAT?

NELLIE!

ALL RIGHT, MOTHER.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL TALK TO PERCIVAL.

THANK YOU, DARLING. THAT'S A GOOD GIRL.

CAN I GO SAY HELLO TO EDNA NOW?

YES. YES, YES, YES. RUN ALONG.

YOU'RE UP TO SOMETHING, HARRIET.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

GIRL TALK.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HOW TO RAISE BABIES.

IF YOU WILL LET GO OF ME NOW, PLEASE. I HAVE COMPANY.

PERCIVAL. HMM?

WHAT RELIGION WILL OUR BABY BE?

YOU'VE BEEN TALKING TO MY FATHER.

THEN YOU ALREADY KNEW.

MORE LIKE EXPECTED.

I JUST THOUGHT HE'D CORNER ME FIRST.

ACTUALLY, IT WAS MY MOTHER.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME

HE'D WANT THE BABY TO BE JEWISH?

I JUST THOUGHT I COULD AVOID TROUBLE.

WELL, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

EVERYTHING TO PAPA. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO HIM

TO CONTINUE THE JEWISH TRADITION,

PRESERVE THE HERITAGE.

IS THAT WHY HE'S HERE,

TO MAKE SURE?

PARTLY.

MY MOTHER'S USED TO GETTING HER OWN WAY.

THERE'S GONNA BE TROUBLE.

BENJAMIN...

IF I TELL YOU SOMETHING,

YOU PROMISE ME YOU WON'T GET UPSET.

IT'S THE SABBATH, MY DEAR, A DAY OF CELEBRATION.

WHEN THIS BABY IS BORN,

WE WON'T BE THE ONLY GRANDPARENTS.

MRS. OLESON SHOWED ME A DRESS TODAY FOR THE BABY.

MY GRANDSON WILL NOT WEAR GIRL'S CLOTHES.

A CHRISTENING DRESS.

JEWISH CHILDREN ARE NOT CHRISTENED.

I KNOW THAT, BENJAMIN,

BUT YOU FORGET, NELLIE IS A GENTILE.

THAT'S NOT MY FAULT.

YOU'RE NOT LISTENING, MY DEAR!

THESE PEOPLE ARE CHRISTIANS,

AND THEY ALWAYS WILL BE.

NOT ANYMORE.

THEY HAVE ACCEPTED MY SON.

BENJAMIN, PLEASE.

HE CAN CHANGE HIS NAME,

PRETEND TO BE ONE OF THEM,

BUT PERCIVAL-- ISAAC--IS A JEW,

AND SO IS HIS SON!

SHA! SVETZA HAVIK!

[MUTTERS]

[SPEAKING HEBREW]

NOW, YOU PROMISED ME THAT YOU WOULDN'T GET UPSET!

I AM NOT UPSET!

SHH!

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

SHUSH. YOU GO. SHH!

READY FOR SUPPER?

IN A MINUTE.

FIRST I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOU.

WE'LL BE IN THE KITCHEN.

NOW DON'T BE LONG.

I WON'T BE.

ISAAC...

OUR FAITH IS BASED

ON MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT, PAPA.

OUT HERE, MANY OF OUR BOYS

ARE TAKING GENTILE WIVES, NOT JUST YOU.

WHAT CHOICE DO WE HAVE?

JEWISH WOMEN CAN'T TRAVEL ALONE.

THEY STAY IN THE CITY.

BUT THESE ARE NOT PROPER JEWISH HOUSEHOLDS.

NELLIE AND I ARE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

YOUR CHILDREN MUST NOT BE CONFUSED.

OUR CHILD WILL KNOW WHO HE IS WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR MEDDLING.

TURN YOUR BACK ON YOUR NAME

AND THE FAMILY BUSINESS IF IT PLEASES YOU,

BUT THIS IS YOUR FATHER TALKING.

SHOW SOME RESPECT!

I'M SORRY.

UNDERSTAND, MY SON,

WE JEWS MUST SURVIVE.

SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME,

OTHER MEN HAVE TRIED TO DESTROY US.

PAPA, PEOPLE ARE EDUCATED NOW.

THAT KIND OF CRAZINESS WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

IT'S ALMOST THE 20th CENTURY.

YOU ARE SO SURE?

I'M SURE.

WE'LL TALK LATER.

YOUR WIFE HAS SUPPER WAITING.

I DON'T LIKE JEWISH FOOD!

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO GET TONIGHT.

[GASPS] WHAT'S THAT?

THAT IS A MEZUZA. BENJAMIN PUT IT THERE.

A... [SPUTTERS]

CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL, I DON'T WANT THAT THING

HANGING ON MY DAUGHTER'S FRONT DOOR.

HARRIET, HE IS OUR GUEST.

OH, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HIM TRYING

TO SHOVE HIS RELIGION DOWN MY THROAT.

I'D LIKE TO DO THE SAME THING

WITH HIS--HIS ME-MEDUZAH THERE.

COME ALONG. COME ALONG.

[BELL RINGS]

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, WHAT IS THAT?

BENJAMIN! GOOD EVENING, PERCIVAL.

GOOD EVENING.

SHABBAT SHALOM. SHALOM.

HEY, EVERYBODY, COME AND SIT DOWN.

I HOPE EVERYBODY'S HUNGRY.

MADE A SPECIAL DISH FOR YOU.

NELLIE, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

SMELLS VERY GOOD, DARLING.

NOT PORK CHOPS, I HOPE.

NO, PAPA. BAKED HAM.

[LAUGHS]

HARRIET... YES?

WE ARE HONORED

TO WELCOME YOU TO OUR SABBATH MEAL.

THANK YOU, BEN...JAMIN.

UH, SHALL WE BEGIN?

[DOOR SLAMS]

AH! WHERE'S WILLIE?

SORRY.

WHAT ARE THE CANDLES FOR?

OH, YOU'LL HAVE TO PARDON MY SON'S MANNERS.

THIS IS ALL NEW TO HIM AND TO US.

NO DOUBT YOU WILL SHARE MANY SABBATH MEALS

WITH OUR CHILDREN IN THE FUTURE.

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. EVERY SUNDAY.

NOT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.

Harriet: HUH?

IT WOULD CONFUSE MY GRANDSON.

HEH HEH HEH. I DON'T SEE WHY.

HE'LL HAVE SUNDAY DINNER AFTER CHURCH.

AHEM. I'M READY TO LIGHT THE CANDLES, PAPA.

I'LL PUT IT TO YOU PLAINLY

SO YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.

THIS BABY WILL BE JEWISH.

UH-UH. HALF-JEWISH.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HALF A JEW.

AHA!

THEN HE WILL BE A WHOLE CHRISTIAN!

HA MA TOM TA METZ!

WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND GIBBERISH.

PAPA!

[SPEAKING HEBREW]

[NELLIE WAILING]

Percival: SEE?! SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE, PAPA!

Benjamin: THIS IS MY FAULT?

I ASK YOU ONE THING, ISAAC.

WHO WILL RECITE THE KADDISH AT YOUR GRAVE

IF YOUR SON IS NOT EDUCATED IN THE TORAH?

HIS NAME IS PERCIVAL.

A NAME WILL NOT CHANGE WHAT HE IS!

BENJAMIN, THE FOOD IS GETTING COLD!

YES, PAPA, COULD WE EAT?

NO!

THE SABBATH IS A CELEBRATION!

A JEW DOES NOT EAT AT A TABLE

FILLED WITH ANGER!

[WAILING]

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE...

[DOOR SLAMS]

AHH! THE NERVE OF THAT MAN! THE ABSOLUTE NERVE.

THEY'RE LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW, NERVY.

HARRIET, IT'S LATE. I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.

POOR NELLIE, SLAVING ALL DAY LONG

OVER A HOT STOVE JUST TO MAKE A BEAUTIFUL SUPPER,

AND WHAT DOES HE DO? HE RUINS IT. HE JUST RUINS--

HARRIET, IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT.

I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EARS WHEN HE SAID THE BABY WOULD BE JEWISH.

"LET ME PUT IT TO YOU PLAINLY, MRS. OLESON, SO YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.

THE BABY WILL BE JEWISH."

WHY DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS?

I MEAN, THE MAN IS--

THE MAN IS INSANE, THAT'S WHAT HE IS.

HE'S ABSOLUTELY INSANE!

CAN YOU IMAGINE MY DAUGHTER GIVING BIRTH TO A JEW?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THAT CHILD WOULD BE LIKE?

NERVY AND GREEDY AND PUSHY AND ALWAYS AFTER FOOD

AND CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP!

HARRIET, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE JUST OPENED MY EYES.

OH! WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME

YOU STARTED LISTENING TO ME.

OH, YES, YES, I AM.

IF WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT THE WAY THEY ACT IS TRUE,

THEN YOU MUST BE JEWISH.

I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THE GUEST ROOM. GOOD NIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT!

TAKE THE JEW'S SIDE!

HOW ABOUT A SANDWICH?

YOU MUST BE HUNGRY.

WHERE CAN YOU GET A CORNED BEEF ON RYE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?

MY SON MUST BE CRAZY TO LIVE HERE.

IT'S A NICE PLACE.

IT'S A BAD INFLUENCE.

LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE TO HIM.

HE'S A GOOD BOY, BENJAMIN.

HEH. SOME GOOD BOY.

WE SHOULD PACK UP AND GO BACK.

THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD DO.

WHAT'S TO STAY HERE FOR?

TO SEE THE END OF THE FAMILY'S RELIGIOUS BELIEFS?

TO SEE THE NAME OF COHEN DISAPPEAR FOREVER FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH?

WHAT'S TO STAY HERE FOR?

TO SEE THE BABY.

COME TO SLEEP. YOU NEED YOUR REST.

IT'S TOO QUIET HERE!

I CLOSE MY EYES, AND WHAT DO I HEAR?

TREES! NOTHING BUT TREES!

OH, PERCIVAL.

GOOD MORNING, MAMA.

HELLO, DEAR. CAN YOU SPARE A MINUTE TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER?

THAT'S A SILLY QUESTION.

COME ON. LET'S SIT DOWN.

OK. NOW, WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

YOUR FATHER IS REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

WE ALL ARE. SO WHY DOESN'T HE TELL ME HIMSELF?

HE'S A PROUD MAN. THERE'S A LOT HE CAN'T SAY.

OH? HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY PROBLEM LAST NIGHT.

PERCIVAL, HIS HEALTH IS NOT GOOD.

PAPA?

WELL, HE LOOKS ALL RIGHT. HE'S LOST A LITTLE WEIGHT.

15 POUNDS IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER HIS HEART ATTACK.

PAPA?

SHH! EHH!

IF HE SHOULD HEAR ME,

OOH-WEE, I'D BE IN SUCH TROUBLE!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

YEAH, NOW, REMEMBER, NOT A WORD.

I ONLY TELL YOU BECAUSE-- THIS EXCITEMENT,

THE DOCTOR WOULDN'T LIKE IT.

WHAT CAN I DO, MAMA?

YOU KNOW, HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO ME.

THAT'S YOUR PAPA.

I WANTED YOU SHOULD KNOW, JUST IN CASE.

AH, MAMA.

I HAVE TO GO HELP CAROLINE WITH BREAKFAST.

SAY NOTHING.

HE'S A PROUD MAN.

THAT'S ONE FEISTY KID YOU GOT IN THERE.

KEEP YOU AWAKE NIGHTS?

SOMETIMES.

GUESS HE TAKES AFTER HIS GRANDPARENTS,

FROM BOTH SIDES.

SO HOW DO YOU FEEL, APART FROM THE BRUISES?

FINE, BUT I'LL BE GLAD TO SEE HIM BORN...

I THINK.

YOU'RE NOT SURE?

THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF ARGUING GOING ON ABOUT HIS RELIGION,

BUT AT LEAST UNTIL HE ARRIVES, WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE ANY DECISION.

THAT BABY'S ONLY GONNA CARE

ABOUT EATING AND SLEEPING.

SO SHOULD YOU.

THAT WON'T BE EASY.

THEY'RE HOVERING LIKE VULTURES.

IGNORE THEM.

YOU WANT A HEALTHY BABY, DON'T YOU?

HE IS, ISN'T HE?

YOU BET HE IS. OR SHE IS.

TRUST YOUR DOCTOR.

PAPA, DON'T DO THAT!

DON'T DISTURB YOURSELF.

HERE, GIVE ME THAT.

SUCH A WORRIER.

I WASN'T LEAVING.

LET ME DO IT.

I'M NOT SO OLD.

TIME WAS I COULD LIFT ALL THOSE SUITCASES AT ONCE.

THAT WAS A LITTLE WHILE AGO, PAPA.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

WHAT I LOST IN STRENGTH,

I MAKE UP IN LOUDNESS, AM I RIGHT?

WELL, YOU COULDN'T EXACTLY ENTER A ROOM UNNOTICED, NO.

NELLIE'S JUST NOT USED TO THAT.

WITH HER MOTHER?

PAPA, DO YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU FELT

WHEN MAMA WAS CARRYING ME?

HOW ELSE?

MY FACE ACHED WITH SMILING ALL THE TIME.

EDNA'S, TOO.

NELLIE CRIES A LOT.

HER CONDITION IS DELICATE.

YOU TREAT HER RIGHT, SON.

BECAUSE OF THIS BABY, HER PARENTS AND MY PARENTS ARE FIGHTING.

HOW CAN SHE BE HAPPY?

NOW, I KNOW MRS. OLESON CAN BE--

WELL, SHE CAN BE DIFFICULT.

BUT FOR NELLIE'S SAKE,

COULDN'T YOU TRY TO GET ALONG?

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ASKING.

PLEASE, PAPA?

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT!

FOR YOUR WIFE, I'LL BE NICE.

THANK YOU, PAPA.

[CHEERFUL] GOOD MORNING, HARRIET!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

YOU GO YOUR WHOLE LIFE

WITHOUT MEETING ONE, AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,

ONE SHOWS UP RIGHT ON YOUR DOORSTEP!

3, ACTUALLY. SOON TO BE 3 1/2.

AW, NELS, YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES.

I MEAN, WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?

THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.

NEW YORK, I THOUGHT.

BEFORE THAT.

THE FRENCH COME FROM FRANCE,

BUT JEWS, THEY COME FROM ALL OVER!

HARRIET, I CAN'T CONCENTRATE WITH YOU BUZZING IN MY EAR!

STICKING THEIR GREAT NOSES

INTO EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS!

WHY, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,

THE COHENS ARE GONNA BE MOVING OUT HERE

AND TAKING OVER!

[CHEERFUL] GOOD MORNING, HARRIET, NELS!

MORNING, BENJAMIN.

Harriet: AND WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU THIS MORNING?

OH, NO, NO. JUST A SOCIAL CALL.

OH, NICE STORE YOU GOT HERE.

YES, THANK YOU.

TAKING INVENTORY, NELS?

NO, NO, HE'S JUST NOW FINISHED UP.

HAVEN'T YOU, DEAR?

HARRIET, I'VE STILL--

THERE'S A NEW ORDER IN THE BACK, NELS,

THAT NEEDS TO BE SORTED OUT.

EXCUSE ME, BENJAMIN.

UH-HUH.

WIDE VARIETY OF MERCHANDISE YOU'VE GOT HERE.

THAT'S GOOD.

I HAD A STORE LIKE THIS BACK IN THE SIXTIES.

I MISS IT SOMETIMES.

YOU KNOW, THESE BOOKS'D GO A LOT FASTER

IF YOU MOVED THE DRESSES CLOSER TO THE WALL.

THEY SELL QUITE WELL RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE.

A GOOD LOCATION AND THEY'LL GO LIKE HOTCAKES.

VISIBILITY-- THAT'S THE KEY!

I DON'T NEED YOUR ADVICE

ON HOW TO RUN MY BUSINESS, THANK YOU.

JUST A SUGGESTION.

AND I HAVE ONE FOR YOU, MR. COHEN.

THIS IS NOT NEW YORK.

WE HAVE OUR OWN WAY OF DOING THINGS HERE

AND WE WILL NOT CHANGE DESPITE YOUR INTERFERENCE,

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO RAISING CHILDREN!

I'M SORRY.

I TRIED MY BEST.

BUT THIS WOMAN IS...

IMPOSSIBLE!

HARRIET, COME ALONG WITH ME.

NELS!

SOMETHING WRONG, NELLIE?

YOU'RE AWFULLY QUIET.

SOMETIMES...

I WISH I WAS AN ORPHAN.

WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY.

ALL RIGHT.

SHIPWRECKED ON A DESERT ISLAND,

JUST ME AND PERCIVAL.

GET KIND OF LONELY AFTER A WHILE.

YEAH, WELL, IT'D GET ME AWAY FROM MY MOTHER...

AND PERCIVAL AWAY FROM HIS FATHER.

JUST REMEMBER, YOU MARRIED PERCIVAL,

NOT HIS PARENTS.

YOU DON'T KNOW JEWISH FAMILIES.

I HAVEN'T CHECKED THE RULE BOOK,

BUT I THINK THEY GO WITH THE TERRITORY.

Benjamin: ISAAC! ISAAC!

NOW WHAT?

FORGIVE ME, ISAAC,

BUT I CANNOT SMILE AT INSULTS!

PAPA, I HAVE CUSTOMERS IN HERE.

A STUBBORN OLD FOOL,

THAT'S WHAT SHE IS!

PAPA, WILL YOU SIT DOWN AND LET ME SAY SOMETHING?

ALL THIS BICKERING

BECAUSE OF ONE SIMPLE REQUEST--

THAT I SHOULD DIE HAPPY,

KNOWING THAT MY GRANDSON IS RAISED RIGHT!

STOP IT!

STOP IT!

OH, MAKE THEM STOP IT!

NOW SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

WHAT I'VE DONE?!

NOW LISTEN TO ME, ALL OF YOU!

I WILL NOT ALLOW MY WIFE TO BE UPSET LIKE THIS!

NEITHER WILL I STAND BY AND WATCH MY FATHER HAVE ANOTHER HEART ATTACK!

ISAAC!

PERCIVAL!

IS THIS WHAT RELIGION IS ALL ABOUT--

ANGER,

FIGHTING,

HATRED?

WELL, IF IT IS,

NELLIE AND I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT, NONE OF IT.

I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.

IT IS TIME WE REMEMBERED

THE WORDS OF ISAIAH...

"COME,

LET US REASON TOGETHER."

NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING.

YOU HAVE SAID MORE THAN ENOUGH, HARRIET.

NOW KING SOLOMON'S ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION

WAS TO DIVIDE THE CHILD IN HALF.

I TAKE IT YOU AGREE THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION.

Harriet: I HOPE THIS IS LEADING SOMEWHERE.

I HAVE ANOTHER SUGGESTION.

IF I SOUND RIDICULOUS,

JUST SAY SO, AND I'LL KEEP QUIET.

WE'RE LISTENING, NELS.

DO YOU WANT YOUR GRANDSON

TO BE RAISED IN THE JEWISH FAITH?

THE COHEN LINE HAS TO BE PRESERVED.

FINE.

THIS ISN'T FAIR!

BUT IF NELLIE HAS A DAUGHTER,

THEN SHE WILL BE A DALTON,

A CHRISTIAN.

SO SIMPLE.

THEN...

IT'S SETTLED.

WELL, IF PERCIVAL AND NELLIE AGREE.

UH, THEY'LL AGREE.

OH!

IT'S SILLY,

JUST PLAIN SILLY.

WELL, AT LEAST IT GOT YOU SMILING AGAIN.

AH, JUST SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN

TO ANY MORE SCREAMING AND HOLLERING.

THERE'LL BE PLENTY MORE OF THAT.

WAIT TILL THE BABY'S BORN.

IT'S KIND OF NICE, REALLY.

IF WE HAVE A DAUGHTER, I CAN GIVE HER A BIG, FANCY CHURCH WEDDING.

AND IF IT'S A BOY, PAPA CAN COME TO THE BAR MITZVAH.

WHATEVER THAT IS.

YOU'LL LEARN.

JUST PLAIN SILLY.

THAT MINISTER, WHAT'S HIS NAME?

REVEREND ALDEN, PAPA.

THAT'S RIGHT, ALDEN. NICE FELLA.

THE MINUTE I ASKED IF WE COULD USE THE CHURCH

ON SATURDAY FOR TEMPLE SERVICES,

HE SAID, "FINE."

AH, NICE FELLA.

THERE'S A LOT OF NICE PEOPLE HERE, PAPA.

SO WHERE ARE THEY?

SO MUCH QUIET ON A SATURDAY MORNING

IS HARD TO GET USED TO.

WELL, THINGS WILL BE JUMPING THIS TIME TOMORROW.

SO WHEN DO YOU JUMP, ISAAC?

THE PREACHER SAID

MINE WAS THE FIRST TIME HE HAD HEARD SUCH A REQUEST.

I USUALLY GO WITH NELLIE ON SUNDAY.

THEN IT'S TRUE.

YOU ARE PERCIVAL DALTON,

A GENTILE.

NO, PAPA. I JUST HAVE A DIFFERENT WAY OF PRAYING.

THE CHRISTIAN WAY.

IT'S JUST A BUILDING, PAPA.

HOW CAN A ROOF OVER MY HEAD CHANGE WHAT I AM?

A CHURCH IS NOT A JEWISH HOUSE OF WORSHIP.

OH? THEN WHY ARE WE GOING THERE NOW?

WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT.

IT'S SATURDAY.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I WAS LITTLE, YOU TOLD ME

THAT THE CENTER OF JUDAISM IS IN THE HOME. AM I RIGHT?

YES, I SAID THAT.

THEN I THINK THAT'S WHERE MY PRAYERS BELONG.

WHERE IS IT WRITTEN

THAT A SON SHOULD BE SMARTER

THAN HIS OWN FATHER?

* SHEMA ISRAEL *

* ADONAI ELO HEYNU *

* ADONAI ACHAD *

HEAR, O ISRAEL, THE LORD OUR GOD,

THE LORD IS ONE.

OUR GOD, AND GOD OF OUR FATHERS,

MAY OUR REST BE ACCEPTABLE UNTO THEE.

HALLOW US BY THY COMMANDMENTS,

SATISFY US BY THY GOODNESS,

AND GLADDEN US WITH THY SALVATION.

O PURIFY OUR HEARTS,

THAT WE MAY SERVE THEE IN TRUTH.

DEAR GOD... THOUGH YOU KNOW

I WOULD NOT PRESUME TO ASK,

SHOULD YOU BE OF A MIND

TO BLESS ME AND MY FAMILY

WITH A GRANDSON,

I WOULD NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.

CAN'T HURT.

PERCIVAL!

MR. COHEN!

THE BABY'S COMIN'! THE BABY'S COMIN'!

[BABY CRYING]

IT'S A GIRL!

OH! GIRL!

WE'RE GRANDMOTHERS!

OH!

ISN'T IT NICE?

NELLIE, IS SHE ALL RIGHT?

SHE COULDN'T BE BETTER. SHE'S FINE, JUST FINE.

Caroline: DR. BAKER! COME QUICK!

STAY THERE!

IT'S OUR FAULT.

WE BROUGHT THIS ON OURSELVES.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Benjamin: MY SON IS RIGHT.

HUH?

WE ASKED GOD TO MAKE A DECISION,

TO CHOOSE BETWEEN US.

THIS IS HIS PUNISHMENT.

DEAR GOD, NO.

OH, NO. PLEASE LET THE BABY BE ALL RIGHT.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I DIDN'T MEAN--

[BABY CRIES]

THE BABY'S ALIVE!

OH! NELLIE!

OH, NO, NELS!

IT'S NELLIE! [CRYING]

MRS. INGALLS, MY WIFE--

OH, THERE'S NO NEED TO BE ALARMED.

YOUR WIFE IS FINE.

YOU HAVE A SON.

Harriet: WHAT?

BUT DR. BAKER SAID IT WAS A GIRL!

THAT'S RIGHT.

A BOY AND A GIRL.

TWINS!

I'M GONNA NEED ANOTHER CRIB!

CONGRATULATIONS, GRANDMA!

OH, THERE.

I THINK IT'S HUNGRY.

WE SHOULD CALL NELLIE.

MAYBE THE BABY NEEDS A SIPPY.

HOW'RE YOU FEELING?

FINE. I TOLD YOU IT WAS A BREEZE.

READY FOR ANOTHER?

NO. I HAVE PLENTY TO HANDLE WITH 2.

I'M GONNA HELP YOUR MOTHER WITH THE CHAMPAGNE.

I'M STARVING. CAN WE CUT THE CAKE NOW?

WHY DON'T YOU GO ASK GRANDPA IN THERE?

WHICH ONE?

EITHER ONE.

Harriet: LOOK AT THAT.

THIS PARTY WAS A GREAT IDEA. MR. COHEN.

TRADITION, WILLIE.

SHALOM, ZACHAR SHEL HA-BACHOR.

HUH?

A CELEBRATION FOR THE FIRSTBORN SON.

CAN WE CUT THE CAKE NOW?

IN A MOMENT.

FIRST I HAVE A GIFT FOR MY LITTLE NAMESAKE.

WELL, YES.

HEY, I THINK HE LOOKS LIKE ME.

YES, THEY BOTH DO.

NEITHER ONE OF THEM HAVE HARDLY ANY HAIR.

Willie: A NECKLACE FOR A BOY?

INSIDE HERE IS INSCRIBED A SCROLL

WITH THE 127th PSALM.

OH, MY! THAT'S PRETTY!

OH, IT IS NOT FOR LOOKS, HARRIET.

THIS CHARM WILL PROTECT

MY GRANDSON FROM EVIL.

OH, WELL, YOUR GRANDSON ALSO HAS A SISTER.

AH, HOW COULD I FORGET LITTLE JENNIFER,

MY OWN GRANDDAUGHTER?

SUCH A PRETTY GIRL!

SHE HAS YOUR EYES, HARRIET.

YOU'VE MADE HER SPEECHLESS, BENJAMIN.

I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT!

OH, IF YOU WEREN'T HOLDING THAT CHILD,

I'D HIT YOU!

ALLOW ME.

OH, COME, BENJAMIN.

THERE WE ARE.

DR. BAKER SWORE HE ONLY HEARD ONE HEARTBEAT.

GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

HE CERTAINLY DOES.

LET ME TAKE THAT FOR YOU, MAMA.

NO, DEAR. COME, COME. HERE WE GO!

AH, CHAMPAGNE!

CAN I HAVE SOME CHAMPAGNE WITH MY CAKE?

ALL RIGHT, DARLING. JUST THIS ONCE.

Percival: THANK YOU, MAMA.

L'CHAIM!

L'CHAIM!

TO JENNY AND BENNY!

BENJAMIN!

[ALL LAUGHING]